05x15 - If the Glass Slipper Fits...

[bunniefuu]

How would you feel about flying

with me to LA for a few days?

You're exactly what I've been

looking for for this new job.

It looks like they forgot

half of my outfit.

No, that's all of it.

Just the jeans?

I could die of old age waiting

for another chance like this.

You're right about that.

Yeah, and besides Ben says

the sh*ts would be very modest.

Then why don't they just

put a blouse on you.

Because the whole idea of this

ad is to make everybody

think of me with no clothes on.

Do you mean to say that you're

actually considering doing this?

Whatever I decide to do,

it's gonna be my decision.

[theme song]

♪ There's a magic in the early

morning we've found ♪

♪ When the sunrise smiles on

everything around ♪

♪ It's a portrait

of the happiness ♪

♪ That we feel and always will ♪

♪ Oh eight is enough

to fill our lives with love ♪

♪ Oh we spend our days like

bright and shiny new dimes ♪

♪ If we're ever puzzled

by the changing times ♪

♪ There's a plate

of homemade wishes ♪

♪ On the kitchen windowsill ♪

♪ And eight is enough ♪

♪ To fill our lives with love ♪

[instrumental music]

- What's wrong?

- Huh!

Did you lose your mommy?

Go right ahead, and make

all the wisecracks you want.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sure

there's a good explanation.

I promise not to give you

a hard time.

Thank you.

Oh, I must admit it,

it's a little hard to resist

but I do credit myself with

a certain degree of maturity.

You just relax

and have your breakfast.

Oh, Nancy, you got a phone call

a few minutes ago.

- Oh, who was it?

- 'Well, didn't leave his name.'

Just some guy

with a real deep voice.

Said somethin' about..

...you eating all of his

porridge or somethin'.

Oh, Tommy!

Hey, what's the occasion?

Oh, nothing special.

Uh-huh!

Oh, I'm just going

to the library

to do some work

on the research paper

and I hate doing research.

So, you thought you'd put on

your designer jeans

three hours worth of makeup,

curl your hair

will make you feel better,

about it, right?

Right.

- Uh-huh..

- Not buying that one, huh?

Not even at half price,

Elizabeth.

- Alan Alderson.

- Ooh, I thought so.

Who's Alan Alderson?

Oh, he's a friend.

Uh-huh, file that

with a research paper.

- A good friend.

- Keep goin'.

I wish I could. We seemed to be

stuck in the good friend stage.

So I decided to get tough,

and today is the day

Alan asks me out or else..

Or else what?

Or else I wasted three hours and

a good pair of designer jeans.

Right. Good luck.

Thanks.

- Hey, Nancy.

- Yeah, Jeremy.

- I've a hunch this is yours.

- Oh!

- Thank you.

- Hey, you should be careful.

I mean, you know how your father

is about leaving toys around

after you've finished

playing with them.

Jeremy! Thanks a lot,

I'll try to remember that.

- Nancy!

- Dad, wait.

Before you waste all your

creativity, I've heard them all.

You're gonna have a hard time

comin' up with

somethin' original.

Well, how about,

why are you dressed like that?

[chuckles]

Oh, I got a modeling job.

A print ad for a toy store.

Hey, that's wonderful.

Hmm.

Why do I get the feeling

that you're a little less

than elated?

Well, dad, all of the time I've

spent dreaming of a glamorous

life as a fashion model

somehow this isn't exactly

what I had pictured.

'We all have to start

somewhere and work our way up.'

Look at Joannie, she spent

almost a year covering

school board meetings

and county fairs.

Yeah, but I don't remember

Joannie having to go to work

in ponytails and anklets.

Especially, carrying

this stupid teddy bear.

Now you just do the best job

you can, it'll pay off.

Oh, daddy, you really

think so? I hope so.

- Oh, Nancy.

- Yeah?

Don't forget to tell the grown

up's that you had a nice time.

[instrumental music]

Do you need some help?

Yeah, I was looking

for a friend.

He is supposed

to meet me here.

What does he look like?

He's cute.

We get a lot of those.

This one knows he's cute.

We get even more of those.

Um, well, he spends a lot

of time looking at himself

in the mirror and starin'

at his fingernails.

Oh, him.

Second table,

around the corner.

Thanks.

Hi.

Oh-ho, Elizabeth.

Nice of you to drop by.

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm late,

but I was busy getting gorgeous.

What interrupted?

Oh, come on, I'm just kidding.

You look very nice.

Thank you.

Uh, listen, while I was waiting,

I put together a list of books

that we're gonna need

and where we can find 'em.

So why don't you

get started on 'em

I'll be with you

in a few minutes.

Where are you going?

I have something

to tell our librarian.

[chuckles]

What?

That I think we have

a major future together.

[sighs]

[typewriter clacking]

Oh, Nicholas. What is it?

It's about my allowance.

Oh, now, come on,

I just raised your allowance.

I know. That's the problem.

See, according to Mrs. Rogers,

inflation went up last month

more than my allowance.

Do you know what that means?

Yes.

Mrs. Rogers has a big mouth.

It means, that I'm losing

money just by being alive.

Well, considering

the alternative

you still have a slight edge.

[doorbell dings]

But, dad!

Oh, the door. That's for me.

Nicholas, we'll have to continue

this discussion later.

Oh, uh, David,

what are you doing here?

Uh, I was just

in the neighborhood

and I-I need a favor.

Oh, what do you need?

I was wondering if I can

leave something here

for a couple of days?

- Of course.

- Oh, good.

Okay, guys, bring it in.

Get it in the porch,

in the back, alright?

Oh, w-w-what is that exactly

that you're leavin'?

Me!

And everything you own.

(Tommy)

'You got kicked out

of Paradise Manor?'

I didn't think

that was possible.

- What on earth did you do?

- I stopped paying my rent.

Oh, well, some landlords

can be unreasonable.

He advised me that

he was raising my rent

which I couldn't afford

in the first place.

I don't know

what I'm gonna do

but, uh, I've got to find

some place cheaper.

You're more than welcome to

stay here while you're looking.

Oh, thanks, dad.

But are you sure?

Oh, it will be great.

We can keep an eye on you.

Make sure you're alright.

Fix you decent meals.

Yeah, help you out. Sort of get

you back into circulation.

And we'll take you

with us everywhere

so you'll never be

bored or lonely.

On second thought, it probably

won't take long at all.

[all laughing]

Aww.

- 'You look as tired as I feel.'

- I passed tired hours ago.

[sighs]

What comes after tired?

'Exhausted.'

What come after that?

Dead.

You're getting warm.

You know, I have some bad news.

I'm gonna live?

No, you're modeling

agency called.

You have an interview

in less than an hour.

Well, I must gonna have

to call 'em and tell 'em

to send somebody else.

I'm too tired to go

anywhere tonight.

Abby, are you sure

this is right?

Mm-hmm.

I wrote it down just like they

said it and I repeated it

'back to them

to be sure I got it right.'

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it.

I've got to get dressed.

I am never gonna make it.

- Abby.

- What?

You are a doll.

Thanks.

Good luck.

[laughing]

[indistinct]

Elizabeth, have I told you

how nice you look today?

Forget it, Alan, I'm not

gonna type your term paper.

I wasn't gonna ask you

to type my term paper.

'I was hopin' I can talk you

into writing.'

- You're cute.

- So it's yes?

You're not that cute.

Oh, well you can't

blame me for trying.

Ah, listen, um,

do you wanna stick around?

I-I could help you get started.

Uh, no, thank you,

but I got to get going.

I got a hot date.

I've to keep my priorities

straight, you know.

Yeah.

See you tomorrow.

- Mary.

- Hmm?

Would you ask me out?

Okay, Elizabeth, uh, what

are you doing Friday night?

Oh, I'm serious.

I mean if you were a guy.

Oh. You mean that guy?

Well, it looked like

he liked you.

Oh, well, sure he likes me.

He adores me.

He eats lunch with me,

sits with me in class

'drives me home from school.'

He does everything,

except ask me out.

Elizabeth, some guys

are a little bit dense.

Now, I bet you this guy is

just dying to go out with you.

All you've gotta do is

just drop a few subtle hints.

Why don't you work on it, okay?

- Hi, dad!

- Oh, hi!

- Bye, dad!

- Where are you going?

- Oh, dad, you won't believe it!

- Well, try me!

I got an interview

with Ben Catron.

You have an interview

with Ben Catron?

- Yes!

- Oh, my gosh!

No wonder you're excited!

Who wouldn't be?

I know!

- Who is Ben Catron?

- Who is Ben Catron?

He's with one of the hottest

ad agencies in California

and he's looking for a fresh

face for his new ad campaign!

Oh, dad, this could

really be my big break.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Good luck, Nancy.

Thanks, dad.

Well, I've gotta get going.

I only have minutes

to make it across town!

- See ya.

- Oh, Nancy.

Yeah?

You better try making

it in ten.

How come?

[screams]

[instrumental music]

- May I help you?

- Yes.

- Uh, I'm Nancy Bradford.

- Yes?

Hi. I have an appointment

with Ben Catron.

Nancy Bradford.

Um, you mean you

had an appointment.

- You mean I'm too late?

- I'm afraid so.

Oh, no!

You see, I was late

in getting the message

and then the traffic

was awful, and..

Oh, please, couldn't you

just squeeze me in?

I'm afraid that's impossible.

'He's gone for the evening.'

Oh.

- 'I'm sorry.'

- Yeah.

So am I.

There's a rumor going around

that you are in a state

of financial deprivation.

- I'm in what?

- Broke.

Yeah, I'm in broke, alright.

Well, I'm having some

problems of my own, uh..

...I've gotta find

a place to live

and this job is taking

all of my time..

...so I was wondering

if you'd like to help me.

- For money?

- Of course.

Alright. Uh, what do I do?

Okay. I'm gonna give you

a list of all the requirements

and you go

through the newspapers

and you pick out the apartments

I should look at.

This will save me

a lot of time

and it will help

supplement your income.

Oh, I don't care about that.

Just as long as

I make some money.

Uh, how much do

apartment hunters make?

- Five bucks a week.

- How about ten?

How about five bucks

or I'll find myself

another apartment hunter?

Uh, five does sound fine.

Yeah, I thought it would.

[indistinct chatter]

I'll have a Florida fizz.

And, uh, make that two of those.

Someone should give him

a swift kick.

Mm? Who?

Whoever's responsible

for all this gloom

on such a pretty face.

Well, in that case, I'm the one

that should be kicked.

I did it to myself.

Well, I just missed

an interview with Ben Catron.

- Oh, you wouldn't understand.

- Don't be so sure.

Here.

Oh, no. You can't be!

You're Ben Catron?

And you must be Nancy

"no show" Bradford.

I...recognized you from your

pictures your agency sent over.

I am so sorry I was late.

You see, I got detained, and..

...well, it's a long story.

I can't believe it.

You're really Ben Catron?

- Why, you look so young!

- Just well preserved.

To tell you the truth,

I came here with the intent

of drowning my sorrows too.

How could you possibly have any?

Easy. I spent the whole day

looking at women

with a collective charm

of a tree stump.

And I faced

the prospect of going back

to my biggest client tomorrow

to tell him I couldn't..

...find anyone for his

new ad campaign.

I only have one chance left.

What's that?

How would you feel about flyin'

with me to LA for a few days?

You're exactly what I've been

looking for for this new job.

- Oh, good morning!

- Good morning!

Did you and Nancy

get to the airport on time?

Barely,

and it was all her fault!

How come?

Because if she didn't have

such an exciting career

I wouldn't have taken

three wrong turns

and been pulled over

for running a stop sign!

You're right. She's obviously

the guilty party.

Oh, yes, but I forgave her!

Because she talked the policeman

out of giving me a ticket.

- What did she say?

- Hello!

[laughing]

I am really so happy for her,

Abby.

She's been through so much!

Not to mention what

she's put us through.

I mean, my gosh,

the correspondence course

on hairstyling,

selling encyclopedias by phone.

Singing telegrams.

The easy-odd fiasco.

And all she ever wanted

was a job that made her feel

good about herself.

Tom--

You should've seen her

this morning.

I have never seen her so happy

She was like a little kid!

I mean, she was talking

miles an hour

'not paying any attention

to what she was doing.'

'I'll tell you, Abby'

'if anybody has ever

deserved success, it's Nancy!'

'And I've got a feeling that

this is really going to be it!'

Tom.

As a matter of fact

I think that this

is only the start.

To..

I don't know how much more of

Nancy's success you can stand.

Ugh.

- Good morning, Mr. Catron.

- Hello.

Mr. Isley's running a little

late this morning

but if you'd like

to have a seat..

Thanks, Dana.

Do you believe this?

Vernon Isley.

Have you ever worn

any of his clothes?

Are you kidding,

I can't even afford

to be in the same room

with them.

To just think,

I could be modeling them--

Okay, lady,

I want you to calm down.

- Okay.

- It's very important.

- Yeah.

- In fact, it's an order.

Alright.

So, what happens next?

Well, we'll go inside,

I'll introduce you.

He'll probably make you

walk around a little

see how you move.

Then you'll come back outside

here and wait

and I'll give him the pitch.

Okay.

[intercom buzzing]

Ben, what if he doesn't like me?

Listen, Isley's a tough old

bird, but he's not stupid.

[instrumental music]

Dad, I need some help.

Sure, Nicholas.

What can I do for you?

Well, uh,

what's panoramic views

and

lavishly contoured landscape?

Oh. Well, that depends on..

Where did you see them?

Oh, right here, in these ads

for David's new apartment.

Oh. I-i-in that case,

a panoramic view is a window

and a lavishly contoured

landscape is the front yard.

Well, uh,

how come they don't say that?

Well, that would be boring.

I mean, people wouldn't come out

to see what they're advertising.

Oh, so they lie?

(Abby)

'Well, they don't lie exactly.'

Well, uh, what do they do?

They just make the truth

sound more appealing.

(Nicholas)

'Why isn't that lying?'

It's more like exaggerating.

Well, how come it's different?

That's the way real estate

works, you see

so when people go out

to see the real thing

the fancy words

stick in their mind

and everything looks

a little better.

Oh, I still don't see.

Alright, Nicholas.

They lie. They lie.

That's what I thought.

Thanks, dad.

- Nancy.

- Ben, what's wrong?

I, uh, don't know

how to tell you this.

- He loves you.

- Are you kidding?

Oh, Ben, that's wonderful!

You have to go back in

and sign the papers.

He wants us to get started

as soon as possible.

What happens next?

Tomorrow morning,

we'll sh**t the layout

and then you're on your way.

Elizabeth,

I've got a major problem.

Oh, Alan, you've always got

a major problem.

Now what is it this time?

My fraternity's havin'

a formal dance this weekend

and I can't find a date.

Everybody I've thought of

asking's already been asked.

Well, that is tough.

Uh, listen, um,

if you're really that stuck

I suppose I could go with you.

Oh, come on now, Elizabeth.

Be serious.

I've gotta find a date.

'Oh, you know what I mean,

Elizabeth.'

You're my buddy,

I don't think of you like that.

- Like what?

- Why you..

Like one of those girls

I'd go out with, you know.

You know. Like

Kerry Strickle. Beth Barnes.

You mean to tell me you would

spend an entire evening

of your life voluntarily

with Beth Barnes?

'What would you

possibly talk about?'

'You'd die of boredom.'

Elizabeth.

If I wanna have some

intelligent conversation

I can have lunch with you.

Hey, come on. I'm starving.

[instrumental music]

(Nancy)

'Champagne for lunch?'

Isn't there a law against that?

Not today.

I'd like to propose a toast.

To my latest discovery.

And I'd like to compliment

myself on my good taste.

Thank you.

Ben, did you really pick me

because you thought

I was right for this job?

Or was it because

you were desperate

and you didn't wanna face

Isley without a model?

Believe me,

I've done that before.

It wasn't pleasant,

but I've done it.

Nancy, there's something

very special about you.

A certain innocence.

A vulnerability.

That's what I was looking for.

Well, don't a lot

of other models have that?

Not many.

And this is Isley's first

venture into a casual line.

Designer jeans, western motif.

'He needs someone

refreshing like you.'

I hope you never

lose that quality.

Well, I don't think you

have to worry about that.

I think you're probably right.

Hi.

Well, that just answered

my first question.

I, uh, I just came by

to see how, uh

your talk with Alan went.

What happened?

That's just it.

Nothing happened.

He doesn't think

of me like that.

- Like what?

- Oh, I don't know.

Like whatever it is

they think about them.

Well, Elizabeth, wait a minute,

you lost me.

They who and them who?

They, guys like Alan!

And them, the girls that guys

like Alan only go out with.

You know, Mary, girls with names

like Jennifer and Stephanie.

Who look like Bo Derek and have

the IQ of a spider fern.

I get the picture.

Is there anything

I can do to help you?

Not unless you can get me

a special discount

on a frontal lobotomy.

[doorbell buzzing]

Hi!

Nancy, this is Connie Langston.

Mr. Isley's assistant.

Hi, Connie.

Nice to meet you.

If, uh, you two

will excuse me

I have to make

an urgent phone call.

I brought over the outfit

that you're going to be

sh**ting in tomorrow.

Oh, well,

I already got it this morning.

That was this morning,

and that was before

Mr. Isley's latest brainstorm.

So now you have a new outfit.

Listen, while I'm here,

you might as well check

and make sure they sent

the right size.

It's better to find out

now than in the morning.

Yeah, that's true.

What do you think?

Well, uh, the jeans

are perfect, but, uh..

...the blouse is kinda small.

Oh! See you in the morning.

Connie, I'm serious.

It looks like they forgot

half of my outfit.

No, that's all of it.

It's all I'm gonna be wearing?

Just the jeans?

That's the latest brainstorm.

I'm sure Ben will tell you

all about it. I've gotta run.

(Ben)

'Alright, well, I'll get

back to you as soon as I can.'

Ben, why didn't you tell me?

I just found out myself.

Isley only came up

with the idea this afternoon.

I'm, uh, gonna be up all night

designing the layout.

You mean, you like this idea?

It doesn't make any difference

if I like it or not.

Isley's my client,

my very important client

and this new line

is a big step for him.

If, uh, this is how he feels

we should promote it..

...I don't have any choice.

Uh, but what about me?

Ben, I don't think

I can do it!

Oh, Nancy, you have to do it.

Well, this Isley guy

must have some compassion.

He let you come home.

Yeah, well, that's because

Ben told him that I was sick.

Oh.

And the way I feel, oh, gosh,

it really wasn't a lie.

- Nancy, what are you gonna do?

- I don't know.

Ben's gonna reschedule the

sh**ting for early next week

so I can have a couple days

to think about it.

You mean, you're actually

thinking about doing it?

I can't help thinking about it.

I mean,

a job with Vernon Isley

I could die of old age waiting

for another chance like this.

You're right about that.

Yeah, and besides

Ben says the sh*ts

will be very modest.

Then why don't they just

put a blouse on you?

Because the whole idea

of this ad

is to make everybody think

of me with no clothes on!

Which makes them look

at the ad more closely

which makes them buy the jeans.

'I really hate this.'

I just don't know if I hate it..

...enough to give it up.

- Any suggestions?

- Yeah.

My first suggestion

is that you make sure

dad doesn't find out

anything about this

until you're actually sure

of what you're gonna do.

(Tom)

'Nancy!"

And your second suggestion?

I want you to give me this

Catron clown's phone number.

I want a word with him!

Dad, it's not Ben's fault.

Well, then,

who's fault is it?

If it's anybody's fault,

it's my own.

For bein' so naive.

You know, I really thought I

could make it in this business

with nice features

and an outgoing personality.

If this is what

you have to do

to make it in this business

you better find yourself

another business.

And you can tell Ben Catron that

if you haven't already.

I will tell Ben when

and what I decide to tell him!

Do you mean to say that you're

actually considering doing this?

I don't know what I'm gonna do!

But it's my life,

and it's my career!

And whatever I decide to do,

it's gonna be my decision!

Now, there are a lot

of guys like that.

I think psychologists

have a term for it.

Mm-hmm. Stupidity.

I used to go out

with stupid girls.

It was a lot easier.

You didn't have to try

as hard to impress 'em.

You're not helping.

You really like this guy, huh?

Well, just give it some time.

It'll wear off.

He can only take so much.

Is that what happened to you?

It wore off?

'Yeah, I hit

the saturation point.'

I once went out with a girl

that thought the SALT talks

was something a doctor

gave to his patients

with high blood pressure.

Great, now,

all I have to do is sit back

and hope that Alan goes out

with the same girl.

[instrumental music]

Nicholas,

you sure I can afford this?

With a little leftover

from my commission.

Are you sure?

Where's the ad?

Well, I left it at home,

and it really sounded great.

Okay, let's check it out.

[instrumental music]

I can't help it.

I thought

totally natural meant

they didn't serve junk food.

[indistinct chatter]

- I'm late.

- Well, just a little bit.

I can never remember

what time this class meets.

Well, you wanna

borrow my notes?

No, I'll just take

double notes tomorrow.

I hate history.

It's so...historical.

I mean, who really cares

about this stuff?

The only reason I

took it was 'cause..

...I think Dr. Cox is so cute.

Don't you?

[laughing]

Oh, yeah. He's a regular

joy to behold.

Joy to behold?

That's what my mom had printed

on her Christmas potholders!

Christmas potholders?

Listen, um..

...this may sound a

little bit strange, but..

...are you doin' anything

Friday night?

[indistinct chatter]

Alan!

Elizabeth!

- Hi.

- Hi!

Who's your friend?

Alan, I would like you

to meet Valerie.

Hi, Valerie,

nice to meet you.

Uh, I bet you say that

to everyone you meet.

Uh, only to those people

who look like you.

You mean there are

other people at this school

that look like me?

Oh, yeah, dozens.

The Biology Department's

experimenting with clones.

Colognes?

You mean they've

invented perfumes

that make people look alike?

Oh, it's a-it's a long story.

Excuse me a minute, Valerie.

Could you excuse us?

Yes.

Where did she come from?

She's in my history class.

I figured she'd be a likely

prospect for your frat party.

She certainly seems

to be your type, Alan.

Elizabeth,

that girl is unbelievable.

I don't know

how I'm ever gonna thank you.

Well, hi.

'Elizabeth tells me you're

studying nuclear physics.'

(Valerie)

'Yeah.'

You're going to do the layout.

That's wonderful.

Under one condition.

- What's that?

- They let me wear a blouse.

Nancy, we've been

through all this.

Ben, you and I have

but we haven't been through it

with Vernon Isley.

There's a reason for that.

But you said he loves me!

Now, what would happen if you

told him I wouldn't do the ad

unless they put a blouse on me?

I don't know.

And I'm not sure

I wanna find out.

Well, it just doesn't seem fair

that we can't even

talk about a compromise.

I know.

What's wrong?

Are you afraid to call him?

No, I..

Well, just a little.

Ben,

this is really important to me.

I know.

I'll call him, but I'm not

making any promises.

[knocking]

(Abby)

Come in.

Nancy, what's wrong?

I made Ben call Vernon Isley

and tell him if I had to do

something

that I felt wrong about

well he could

just keep his job!

- Good.

- Oh.

Well, I-I-I know how hard that

must have been for you to do.

Yeah, especially when

Isley told Ben

that if I don't do the layout

the way he wants it

he's gonna sue me!

(Abby)

'Well, howdy, catfolk.'

'You look like you could use a

stiff sh*t of chocolate milk.'

Better make it a double.

Sit down.

You've been apartment huntin'

for David, huh?

Yeah. What a headache.

Hmm.

Here you go.

It's on the house.

Thanks.

You know,

David doesn't like anything.

He turned down swimming pools,

tennis courts

plush decor, panoramic views.

Well, maybe you should be

a little more patient.

Maybe he should be

a little less picky.

Well, Nicholas, uh

David's goin' through

a pretty rough time.

I mean, he needs to find

a place that's his own.

He doesn't need panoramic views

or tennis courts,

or swimmin' pools.

What he needs to do is find

a place he feels like home.

'Maybe you could find

a place like that?'

You mean start all over?

This is a lot of hard work.

That's why you getting paid

the big bucks.

I'd rather go back

to being poor.

Life was a lot easier.

I'll drink to that.

Ah.

Ben, what if I tried talking

to him?

Nancy, it wouldn't do any good.

Look, it's,

it's not always this way.

Any of my other

clients would've understood

your position, and been

completely co-operative.

Isley prides himself

on being eccentric

and he's determined you're

not gonna tell him what to do.

Well, why can't

he hire another model?

He could, but he wants you.

You don't realize

how much that is saying!

He's not the easiest man

in the world to please!

And, uh,

there's only a few weeks left

before he introduces

his new line.

He doesn't have time

to start searching again.

Janet says he's just

trying to scare me.

I mean, he can't sue me.

I don't have any money!

Isley doesn't have to sue you.

All he has to do is make sure

you get a lot of bad

publicity out of this.

And you get a reputation

for being a troublemaker

and, uh,

people don't hire troublemakers.

He could put an end to your

career before it even begins.

- Would he do that?

- Of course!

But why?

Nancy..

Isley..

...employs over

a models a year

all under contract.

'If he would have let you

out of your contract'

he'd have to do the same

for any of them.

He can't afford to

set that kind of precedent.

I can't believe this.

You know, I felt bad enough

when it was just this job

that was at stake.

Now it's my whole career!

Yours and mine.

'Isley's my biggest account.'

If you don't do this layout,

it's a sure bet I'll lose him.

[sighs]

Oh, no.

Face it, Nancy.

He's got us cornered.

Both of us.

[instrumental music]

- Hi.

- Hi.

- What are you doing?

- Eating myself into a coma.

'Do you want to

try something else?'

- What?

- Talking about it?

It's not as much fun,

but it's, uh..

...it's a lot less fatty.

[chuckling]

- Abby.

- Mm-hmm?

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I have gotten myself

into such a mess

there's no way out.

There's always a way out.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

The only one I can see

is for me to do

the darn layout.

Well, that sounds like

you've already decided.

Hmm.

Well, that's just for right now.

It changes every minutes.

What do you think I should do?

Nancy, you're the one

who has everything at stake.

'And you're the one who's gonna'

have to live with

the consequences.

You should do

what you think is best.

- You make it sound so easy.

- No.

The easiest thing would be to do

what everybody else is

pressuring you into doing.

It takes a lot of strength

to ignore all that

and do what you think is right.

Yeah.

What do you think?

Well, if you're about to

take to the streets

I'd say you'd probably

get top dollar.

I'm tryin' to change my image!

I'm tired of looking

like a cross

between Marie Osmond

and a Kewpie doll.

Look, come on, Elizabeth.

You're fine the way you are.

Or the way you were.

I mean, you don't have to change

to make this guy notice you.

Well, nothing else

I've tried has worked.

That's because nothin' else

you tried has made any sense.

I mean, look, you take a guy

who makes a hobby out of

collectin' dumb blonds

and fix him up

with a dumb blond

it's like, uh, it's like

givin' a match to a pyromaniac

and pointin' towards a haystack.

Well, if you're such an

authority, what do you suggest?

Ah, I thought you'd never ask.

Come on. I have something.

Come here.

Nancy, do you realize

what you're saying?

Do you realize what's at stake?

Ben, I've been over it

in my head a times.

The fact is,

I just can't do it.

Nancy, what are you proving?

All you're doing is giving

some other girl

an opportunity that is

rightfully yours!

What's rightfully mine

are my principles.

And taking off my blouse

in front of all of America

goes against them!

Fine.

While you're being

so self-righteous

you're hurting a lot

of other people.

I'm about to lose a client.

It's taken me years of

hard work to win over!

'How do you justify that?'

I'm sorry, Ben. I really am.

But I have to stick

to what I believe in.

That's all I have left!

[instrumental music]

[sighs]

Oh, Jeremy, this better work.

Are you sure

this guy is right?

I mean, good-looking,

real mental midget.

Yes, he's on the football team

and he flunked

introductory water polo.

Oh, yeah, I think he'll do!

Besides, it's a rush party

and I have to ask

a freshman to get in.

Hello, Fred!

Uh, yeah, this is Elizabeth

Bradford from sociology?

Uh, it's not a place,

it's a course.

Anyway, um, I was wondering if

you were doing anything tonight

after the game.

Um, I meant

after you take a shower.

- Oh, yeah..

- Shh!

Um, well, how'd you like to

go to a frat party with me?

Mm-hmm. Yeah,

there'll be lots of food.

Of course, yeah,

there'll be booze.

You would? Oh, great!

[instrumental music]

Hi, Jimbo.

Hey, Valerie,

you think you'll be okay

alone for a few minutes?

I should really go

to the buffet line

and talk to some

of those people.

- How come?

- Well, it's sort of my job.

See, I'm Rush Chairman.

They aren't moving fast enough?

Right.

Here, now. Don't go away.

[indistinct chatter]

Hi, how're you doing?

- Elizabeth? Hi!

- Hi.

- What are you doin' here?

- Oh, my date's a rushie.

You're goin' out

with a freshman?

Fred, this is Alan.

(Alan)

'Oh, Fred! Hi!'

- 'Nice to meet you.'

- Yeah, hi.

(Alan)

'I'm a friend of Elizabeth's.'

Uh, Elizabeth tells me

you're interested in pledging.

Anything I can tell you

about fraternity life?

- Yeah, where's the keg?

- Oh!

Oh, well, we don't have a keg

but there's a pitcher

on that table over there.

Thanks!

- He's cute, huh?

- Oh, Fred? He'll do.

Is he always so hungry?

Oh, only after a big game.

- He's on the football team.

- Ah.

Well, does he come with a suit,

or is that sold separately?

What's wrong with his suit?

He looks like he belongs

on top of a disco wedding cake.

I think you're jealous.

I think you better go get Fred

before he eats the chandelier.

Elizabeth! You want a brew?

No, thanks.

[laughing]

[knocking]

Come in.

I just wanted to see

how you were doing.

Not terrific.

Look, if it makes you

feel any better..

...I think you did

the right thing.

Thanks, dad.

[indistinct chatter]

If you're lookin' for Fred, he's

under the refreshment table.

I think he might wake up

by tomorrow morning

'if you're lucky.'

Someone is sleeping

under the table?

(Elizabeth)

'That's right, Valerie.'

A wicked witch

gave him a poisoned apple.

Maybe you should go

give him a kiss

and see if that will revive him.

I'll try.

You want me

to drive you home?

No, thanks. I called a cab.

Besides, how would Valerie

find her way back

from the punchbowl

without you to show her?

How can you talk

to me about Valerie

when you're out

with Godzilla's nephew?

Well, there you go again.

You always judge things

on the surface.

Like Fred, now, now did it ever

occur to you

that underneath that crude

exterior, there might

be a warm, sensitive,

intelligent guy inside?

Only if Fred ate one.

I'm sorry, Elizabeth.

I just would have thought

you'd be attracted

to somebody a little more..

Like you.

Well, yeah.

Now you know how I feel

every time you ignore me

and fall head over heels for

some gorgeous blond airhead.

Elizabeth,

I've never ignored you.

Is that what this is all about?

You and me?

Elizabeth, I didn't realize.

I'm sure you didn't.

[instrumental music]

David! David, I found it,

and it's just a few blocks away.

Come on, you gotta come see.

Nicholas, I can't look

at another apartment today.

But this one is really special.

I've seen your idea

of really special.

But, David, I spent all morning

looking for the right apartment.

I even gave up

going to ride royal.

Nicholas, I'm really exhausted.

I'll go look at it tomorrow.

But what if someone

else gets it?

Then we'll find another one.

But I picked this one out

just for you.

[sighs]

Oh, what are we waiting for?

Let's go before someone

else gets it.

Right.

[doorbell rings]

Can I come in?

And don't say

it's a free country.

Come on in.

If you're looking for a mirror,

there's one in the living room.

I wasn't.

I was trying

to think of a..

...a clever way

to apologize

for the way

I've been treating you.

So, what'd you come up with?

How's this?

I'm sorry.

Alan, it's not very clever.

Look, I..

I think I've been a real jerk.

Oh, well, if you're looking

for a second opinion,

you've come to the right place.

I'm trying to apologize to you.

- Will you give me a break?

- I love your logic.

I know I'm a jerk, but I admit

it. So that makes it okay.

Will you let me explain?

Sure.

See, you and I have been friends

for so long.

And I guess, I just got

used to the idea of

you know, you being my pal,

my side kick.

'I just thought..'

No, I just didn't think.

Well, last night I realized

you're right.

Uh, we like each other.

We have a lot of fun

together.

And I don't see any reason

why we shouldn't be going out.

[scoffs]

But there is a reason.

See, last night I realized

something too.

I realized that the whole time

I was mad at you

for not seeing me as I am..

...I really wasn't seeing

you either.

'And now that I have..'

...I don't wanna

go out with you.

[chuckles]

- Goodbye, Alan.

- Goodbye?

I know this is new to you,

it's called rejection.

Elizabeth?

Goodbye, Alan.

(male # )

You folks just take your time

and look around

and stop by my office

on your way out

and let me know

what you decide.

Oh, thanks, we will.

- See ya.

- Yeah.

Uh, Nicholas, you were right,

this place is great.

It feels comfortable

and...it's got character.

It's affordable.

- Hmm.

- You gonna take it?

- I don't know.

- What's wrong?

'Well, nothing's wrong,

everything's absolutely perfect'

but I just don't think

it's the right place for me.

I don't know why.

It's just a gut instinct.

[knock on door]

Yeah?

Hi, I'm Maureen

from across the hall.

I, uh, just wanted

to volunteer my services

if you need any help moving in.

Oh, ahem, thanks, um,

it's very nice of you.

Well, just knock...anytime.

(David)

Yeah.

[clears throat]

Well, um,

gut instincts are subject

to change without notice.

[knocks on door]

Ben.

I, uh, saw your father outside,

he told me to come on back.

I, uh, brought you

a peace offering.

We-well, they're beautiful.

I don't usually make

a habit of this

but we're celebrating.

We are?

I just called Vernon Isley

and told him he had two choices.

He could either sh**t that

layout with you, fully clothed

or he could find himself

a new ad agency.

What did he say?

He said he could find

himself a new ad agency.

I am really sorry.

Well, what are you gonna do?

I'll sell a couple

of my winter homes, I'll live.

Well, if that's what happened..

...well,

what are we celebrating?

Well, for starters,

I managed to convince

Isley that letting you

out of your contract

would not be as harmful to him

as all the bad publicity

he would get from suing you.

Are you kidding?

Oh, thank you.

You know, uh, you didn't have

to go out on a limb for me.

I knew what I was facing

when I made my decision.

So did I.

You see, I've been in this

business a long time

and I made all the necessary

concessions..

...which is a nice way of saying

than I sold out.

'When you walked out of my

office, I had to respect you.'

'Because you had done

something that I wish'

I still had the courage to do.

And then I thought

maybe I can, maybe..

...there's still enough

of that left in me.

So, I picked up the phone

and I called Isley.

I may have lost

my biggest client..

...but I think I gained

something even more important.

[instrumental music]

Well, Nicholas,

I gotta hand it to you.

I love this place.

Well, when do I get paid?

As soon as I find

my checkbook.

Ah, how much?

Well, uh, I figured

five bucks just like we agreed.

Plus, ten as a bonus

for doing such a terrific job.

Wow, $ --

Can you be careful?

I never had that much money

at one time in my life.

Well, now you get a taste

of how the other half lives.

I can't believe it.

Now, this goes over

on that table.

Be careful.

I think I left my checkbook

in the bedroom.

- I'll go get it.

- Okay.

So, what're you gonna do

with all that money?

Oh, I don't know.

Maybe I'll get a new baseball

mitt or a soccer ball

or maybe I'll just save it

and buy milkshakes everyday

for the rest of my life.

'Wow, I don't know

how am I going to ever decide.'

Oh, I'm sure

you'll figure it out.

[glass shatters]

I guess I just decided.

Yup.

[theme music]