01x22 - The Show Must Go On / Pamplemoose and Son

[bunniefuu]

♪ We are splitsboro kids


♪ And we go to sidekick school


♪ Learning to be second best


♪ While playing by the rules


♪ Maxum man is missing


♪ Now we rule the school


♪ Flyin', smashin', bashin' stuff ♪


♪ And lookin' super cool


♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick


♪ That's the life for me


♪ Half-sized super zeros


♪ With full-sized hero dreams


♪ I'm a sidekick, sidekick


♪ What an awesome gig


♪ Just like superheroes (just like superhzeroes)


♪ But only half as big


♪ Sidekick!


♪♪♪


I've always been the lead and I always will be!


All (gasp)


Eric what's going on?


Kitty school play audition.


Vana's taking out the competition.


(Growing growl) (screaming)


(Sighs) they would have been crushed


When they didn't get it anyway.


Sounds cool. What's it about?


(Reading a poster) macblast.


(Horrified gasps)


(Shocked cuckoo)


Kitty (whispering) shhhh! You're not supposed to say the name out loud."], Index ,…}


Bad things happen if you do.


(Creaking)


(Pig squeals)


Macblast. Macblast. Macblast.


(Objects smash)


(Trevor giggles)


Macblast.


(Jackhammer rattles)


(Struggling to speak)


It's about mac... You know -


A sidekick who becomes a super


And saves the world


And his lady fair from his evil master.


(Sighs)


Vana? Kissing? Posters?


I need that part!


(Clears throat) (coughs)


Ahhhh!


Uh... For my audition (mic feedback)


I've prepared a monologue from my favourite comic book.


The black stinkworm.


(Overly dramatic) the stench, beware the stench.


For it is i...um... The black...um...


Woah!


Ahhhhh!


(Chuckle)


Drilliam shakespeare next!


Ooh, here's the cast list!


I don't need to look. Kitty look for me.


(Curious chatter)


Whatever. It's a silly play,


With a silly director who couldn't see talent


If it destroyed half a stage!


Eric! You got the part!


The director is a genius!


♪♪♪


Understudy?!


I have to wait until eric is injured


Before I can play his part?!


Ta, ta, ta... Aghh!


I can wait.


(Giggles) yes, you can.


Trevor ah! I wanna be in the play too!


Ya, good luck with that.


Hey! Maybe you could be a stage monkey like kitty!


That's stage manager.


We control the lights, the curtain and the sets.


Yay! (Laughs)


Look at me! I'm assistant stage monkey!


No! Trevor don't!


Vana (screams, impact thud)


(Whistles)


Well, practice is important. (Giggles)


Yeah.


Um, I just wanted to say thanks.


No need. You're perfect...


...for the role I have in mind!


Drilliam shakespeare?!


(Dramatic music plays)


The director - it's drilliam shakespeare?!


Kitty of course. Trevor that's him.


Vana who else would it be?


But he's a super villain,


And he wants to k*ll me!


Remember, we defeated him?!


(Gasp) you chopped off his foot.


Eric how do you like that,


I'm pouring sour milk on your face.


He's out for revenge!



Drilliam shakespeare lies! All lies!


The thee-ah-tah tis mine true passion.


I only super-villain on the side.


Now we rehearse!


Well, I guess I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.


At least until after we rehearse -


(Spray hisses) the kissing scene.


(Chokes, coughs)


Drilliam shakespeare actors! In this, the climax,


Mac b. Has slung off the shackles of oppression


From his super, awesome man!


Feelst thou emotions as thou doth battle


With thy former oppressor!


That meaneth action!


Go.


Awesome guy, uh, tis now time to meet your... Mac maker?


You defeat me, my former sidekick?!


I slam at thee anon! Ha ha!


Noweth! Jump, and save me verily!


(Grunts)


Awesome guy ow. Hey! Take it easy.


Triumph! He is defeated and you are saved.


Ya, right.


We shallt now seal this victory with a kiss!


(Disgusted) ewww!


Drilliam shakespeare no, no, no, no, noooo!


Tis no passion! No, danger!


Thou must fight back.


Like this! And this. And this! Ha ha!


(Laughs)


This...isn't... In...the script!


(Maniacal laughter) I love the theatah!


He's trying to k*ll me!


Oh, please.


He's been pummeling me at every rehearsal!


You've just got the jitters. You'll be fine.


Come on, trevor.


Drilliam wants us to get the prop battle t*nk ready


To run over eric repeatedly.


Trevor oo!


(Sighs) maybe I am over-reacting.


Plus, if I get through this last rehearsal...


We might finally get to... (Smooch sound)


(Gagging, vomits)


(Continues vomiting)


Drilliam shakespeare hold everything, I present,


A last-minute rewrite!


It's opening night and this final scene


Is still lacking passion, danger.


I have just the thing!


And...action!


Awesome guy, tis now time to meet your mac maker.


Hmmm.


(Mechanical whirring)


Aghhhhh!


Ahhhh!


Yes! More! We need more drama.


More jeopardy! More danger!


(Maniacal laugh)


Aghhhhh!


This is crazy! This isn't in the script!


Eric! Stop whining - whoa!


And start acting!


Who's whining?!


Oof!


Noweth. Jump and save me, verily!


Ahh, triumph!


We shalt now - finally -


Seal this victory... With a kiss!


(Kiss sound)


Drilliam shakespeare cut!


(Relived sigh)


Oh, come on!!


Drilliam shakespeare it's still not right!


We will rehearse this again, and again, and again!


Tonight we must filleth this theatre with drama!


And maybe more explosions.


That's it! You want drama?


I'll give you drama. I quit!


Eric, you can't quit! It's opening night!


I tell you he's trying to k*ll me!


Fine. Quit. Whatever.


Allan will be much better anyway.


(Chuckles) hmm.


I look forward to acting with you tonight,


But our kiss... That, will not be acting.


(Foghorn sounds)


(Swooning sigh) (kiss sound)


Back off, fish lips!


I've suffered too long to let you get the glory!


Or that kiss!


I'm back in the play!


Perfect.


Hit it!


Trevor opening night rocks! (Laughs)


Giveth me all your coins,


Or I shall do evil things anon! Ha ha!


(Screams)


(Audience applauds)


(Giggles)



Vana um, I thinketh your super is a hero no more!


We must vanquish him and save the world!


But I am but a humble sidekick, fair maiden.


How am I to defeatest my master?


(Mechanical whir)


Oh, good question!


(Gulps)


(Blasts, eric screams)


Yes! (Cackles)


Eric (screams of agony)


(Panting)


How am I doing out there?


You're doing... (Lick)


Great. You're almost finished.


I-i mean the play's almost finished!


I'm no critic, but I give it and a half stars


And two thumbs sideways.


Even if drilliam is trying to k*ll me,


It'll all be worth it after this final scene!


(Gargles and spits)


It's time to smooch!


Saveth me, mine hero!


Thiseth is it,


I onceth was a lowly sidekick but now I am a hero!


Do thy worst!


(Panel beeps)


(Mechanical whirring)


That's worse, all right.


(Lasers blast) aghhh!


(Pained yelps)


Phew! Agh!


(Pained yelps)


Gotta...make...it ... To...that kiss!


Noweth! Jump and save me, verily!


(Lasers blast)


Yes! Yes!


Whao!


Wha...?


Huh? (Audience gasp)


Nooo! Trevor! What did you do?


Oops. Wrong button.


My play is undone!


Oh, woe is me.


Unless... Get back out there!


(Audience jeers)


(Nervous chuckle)


(Angry growling)


So, uh it has come down to this.


To take up arms, against mine former master!


(Shrugs) I guess.


Vana! I mean, lady macblast!


Saveth me, my bravest of heroes!


Tis now time to meet your mac maker!


Agh!


(Trumpets sound, audience applauds)


Triumph! He is defeated and you are saved.


We shallt now seal this victory...with a kiss!


(Kiss sound)


Hm?!


Aghhhhhh!


Yay! Woo hoo!


(Spits)


Now that, was thee ah tah!


It sure was. (Spits)


Next time, just k*ll me, okay?


♪♪♪


Listen up you inferior, pea-brained,


Talent-less wretches!


Today ve learn ze art of ze quick change -


From civilian to sidekick


Using any object in your vicinity as a change room.


Like zis perhaps?


Works for me. Too easy!


Ha! Try finding a phone booth in zis day and age.


Small... But I'm sure it's cozy.


(Gasps)


He can't be serious.


Vell, vell.


It vould appear ve have a volunteer


To get us shtarted.


But wait, i...


(Snarling)


Argh. Whatever.


Look on the bright side, buddy,


At least it wasn't me.


(Effort grunts)


Time's up!


(Pig squeals)


(Laughing)


Aww, come on!


(Laughs)


As expected. Zat vas a disaster.


(Gasp) zat mark!


(Gaps)


Huh. Never noticed that before.


Perhaps you'd best look at this!


(Shocked gasps)


Trevor (laughs)


(Horrified) is that- is that--?


It is! Ze exact same birthmark!



No... That!


(Flies buzz)


Yes, I have an enormous outey. Deal vit it!


Class dismissed.


(Panicked screaming)


Out! Out! Shoooo!


Not you, eric.


Huh.


Zat birthmark can mean but one thing!


You are ze long lost son I never knew,


Or even had any reason to suspect, I had!


What? How is this possible?


I took part in a lot of cloning experiments in university.


(Babies coo, lasers blast)


I alvays vanted an heir.


Someone I could groom to my exact specifications.


Who knows how many little me's are out there?!


(Giddy laugh)


I zee you are in shock.


You must move through ze five stages of grief.


Starting with denial. (Ding)


So pamplemoose is my dad?


(Denial) no, no it can't be true.


Anger. (Ding)


Why me! Why me!


Bargaining. (Ding)


Maybe we can make a deal? Some sort of bargain?


Depression. (Ding)


Why do bad things always happen to me?


Acceptance. (Ding)


Then again... I have a dad.


Eric needles has a dad!


How about eric nipples puts on his shirt.


(Embarrassed giggle)


Is that... For me?


Take it son. It's your birth-right.


(Hovering whir)


Uh, hello.


Eric, what happened to your legs?


Uh...


Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!


Whoa! (Crash)


(Coughing)


Oops.


Maybe you should think about losing the chair?


For your own safety?


You should have seen his face when he gave it to me.


Gah! That smile... It burns!


Besides, it's not a chair, it's a birthright!


I finally have a dad!


Eric, it's pamplemoose!


I'd rather have no dad than him!


It's bad enough we have to spend time with him here,


Now you'll have to see him (gasp)


Outside school!


That chair is going to give me nightmares!


This is my chance for a real,


All be it, extremely weird, family!


I have to take it.


(Lullaby plays)


Well?


Maxum brain hmm... I admit there are similarities.


Weak chin, beady eyes, concave chest...


And that does explain your test tube shaped body.


(Doorbell rings)


Hello? Eric? Clone-daddy ees here.


Let us spend ze weekend together.


You know what... That sounds great.


Pamplemoose (delighted laugh)


Come, come, zere is much to do!


Maxum brain can it be true?


Am I finally rid of eric?


Do I get to enjoy some peace and quiet for a change!


I am so lonely.


(Clock ticks)


So... Son...


How are your grades?


Oh wait, I remember. Terrible!


Um...these chairs... Very hovery.


Uh...


Wow, family small talk is a lot harder than it looks.


I wonder how trevor and his dad do it?


(Laughs)


That's wonderful! Very good, needles!


To the troublemeyers!


You know, you were right to seek my advice.


After all, trevor and I are the poster family


For father/son bonding, isn't that right son?


I'd rather be transported to a demon dimension


Than spend time with you.


Mr. Troublemeyer yes sir, we're a couple of amigos.


Best buds. Two peas in a pod.


Pamplemoose yes, yes. But vat is your secret?


Well, I'd say the only secret is that we have no secrets.


You see that tree over there...


Vat tree, I see no tree.


(Evil laugh)


Mr. Troublemeyer ...first tree trevor ever climbed.


And we climbed it together.


You see that scorch mark there?



Oh yeah.


Vat tree?


(Evil laugh)


That was where I fired off my first turbo rocket.


And dad totally sewed my fingers back on himself.


Huh? (Laughs)


You see, a true bond means you're totally connected.


You are alike in every way!


Yes! I see now!


I'm sorry ve can't stay for dinner,


My son and I have some real bonding to do!


Uh, but what about the burgers?


I made the special sauce myself.


Eric maybe next time, mr. Troublemeyer.


(Grunts)


(expl*si*n)


♪♪♪


(Laughs)


(Mechanical whirring)


(Splash)


(Grunts)


(Energy hums)


Aghhhh!


(Big splash)


Oh-oh.


Kitty we haven't seen much of you lately.


Eric I know.


Pamp-daddy can be a little over-bearing.


I had to sneak away this morning.


Just so I can walk to school with you, guys.


Clone-son, I brought you some thirsty towels.


Ahhhhh!


Oh eric, why do you let him smother you like that.


Always there. Always watching.


Always closing all the blinds so I can't see in!


What? What?


Eric it's not so bad.


He's just trying to make up for lost time.


Clone-son! I vas so worried!


Sorry, dad, I just wanted to walk-


Walk? Vat is this walk?


A pamplemoose doesn't mingle with ze veedershlekkens,


He floats above them. Now...


Let us be away!


Yes, sir.


I don't want you wasting any more time


With this sidekick nonsense.


From now on you will take your rightful place at my side.


Wait... You mean...


Correct! I shall train you


To become ze future headmaster,


And chief disciplinarian.


(Crazed laughter)


(School bell rings)


Uh, have you guys seen, eric?


Pamplemoose attention!


I am pleased to introduce your new instructor.


Who also happens to be my clone-son!


Pamplemoose junior!


(Gasps)


Oh eric! What has he done to you?


Neine! Zer is no eric!


You vill address my boy by his proper title!


Eric uhhh, is that really necessary?


These are my friends.


Son, you must shtop thinking of these worms as friends,


And start thinking of them as, vell, worms.


Okay, now I'm a little insulted here.


Yeah. Right?


Now, at some point


You vill almost certainly find yourselves being dropped


Into a t*nk filled with man-eating robo-sharks...


The best way to prepare for zis eventuality is...


To be dropped into a t*nk


Filled with man-eating robo-sharks.


(Gasps)


And as my heir you must choose a volunteer.


What? I-i can't! They're my friends!


But you must, my son. I insist!


Now!


I'll do it.


No!


Kitty will do it.


If I have to choose a volunteer to be sacrificed...


Then I choose...


Myself!


Nooooooooooo!


Agh!


Agh!


Pamplemoose my boy, my poor, brave little clone-son.


Oh ze horror, ze horror!


Zis is ze vorst day of- vat?!


Eric hey, look at that. It was just a stain.


I think it's that pizza pudding I made the other night.


Hmm-mmm. I still say it coulda used more chocolate pepperoni.


(Flames roar)


Uh oh...


You will pay for this deception!


From now on you are my permanent volunteer!


Shtarting with ze spikey ball of death.



Boy, am I glad that's over.


Eric just lost his first real dad.


Yeah. Don't care.


Anyone feeling peckish? Lunch?


Cool. Yeah-ha.


Eric ahhhhhhh!