05x14 - Derision

[bunniefuu]

[narrating] In the daytime, I'm Marinette.

Just a normal girl with a normal life.

But there's something about me

that no one knows yet.

'Cause I've got a secret.

[theme song playing]

♪ Miraculous!

Simply the best! ♪

♪ Up to the test when things go wrong! ♪

♪ Miraculous, the luckiest! ♪

♪ The power of love, always so strong! ♪

♪ Miraculous ♪

♪ Miraculous ♪

[cell phone buzzes]

-Adrien?

-Good morning, Marinette.

I was just calling to tell you

how excited I am

that we're meeting

at the swimming pool later.

And to wake you up

just in case you're still sleeping.

Good call. I'm super excited too.

[grunts]

[heartbeat thumping]

[gasps]

Everything okay, Marinette?

Yeah, I'm just feeling

a little light-headed, Tikki.

I'll feel better

after I grab some breakfast.

Aren't you gonna eat, sweetie?

My stomach feels kinda yucky.

On the morning you happen

to finally have a real date with Adrien?

Mom!

It's not surprising.

I'm sure those butterflies

are just like the ones I had

-before my first date with your father.

-[heartbeat thumping]

-[bowl clattering]

-[Marinette gasps]

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I don't know what's wrong with me today.

Let me take care of it.

Go to the swimming pool

and meet your Adrien.

Thanks, Mom.

Good morning.

Good morning.

[gasps]

Good morning, ma'am. How do we get in?

[receptionist] You have to buy tickets.

-Oh? Then two tickets, please.

-[heartbeat thumping]

[whimpers]

You're shaking.

Are you sure you're all right?

I'm okay. I'm fine.

I love the swimming pool.

[heartbeat thumping]

[panting]

-[knocks on door]

-[Adrien] Marinette, everything okay?

[Marinette] I just have a problem

with my shoelaces.

Go ahead. I'll meet you there.

[panting continues]

Marinette, what's going on with you?

I don't know. I feel strange.

Over here. Marinette.

-[heartbeat thumping]

-[gasps]

Need a hand?

[whimpers]

-[screams]

-Marinette, what's wrong?

Leave me alone.

I need to be by myself.

And stop pretending to be so nice to me.

[laughing]

Whoa, Adrien,

that must have been some prank you pulled

to make Marinette freak out like that.

-What did you do to her?

-It's not funny, Kim.

Can't you see Marinette's not okay?

Oh, come on. She always reacts like that

when someone pranks her.

-Huh?

-What on earth are you talking about?

Right. You guys wouldn't know.

Let me explain.

You'll see, it's hilarious.

It was last year, when Marinette

and I were in the eighth grade.

[panting] What's wrong with me?

I'm destroying everything

I've ever wanted.

Panic. I am Monarch.

I have sensed your distress.

It's a terrible thing

when emotions get so strong

that you lose control

of your physical being.

-I can give you…

-[Marinette] This can't be happening.

I've got to pull myself together.

I have to figure out why I get like this

every time I get close to Adrien.

-Otherwise I'm gonna fall apart!

-Three, two, one, go!

I'm catching up to you.

-I'm catching up to you.

-In your dreams.

Even with a motor in your swimsuit,

you'd still be slower than me.

[laughing]

Aren't you eating, sweetie?

I have a tummy ache.

Can I stay home today?

[sighs] Yesterday, your foot hurt.

And the day before that it was your head.

Come on. Chin up.

You only have two weeks

of school left with her.

She probably won't even be

in your class next year.

Three years in a row, Mom.

Why would my luck change now?

-[gasps]

-Hmm.

[groans]

[both] Hmm?

Phew.

[screaming]

[grunts, groans]

Classes started ten minutes ago,

yet you're still roaming the hallways.

This is the eighth time this week.

Good thing an anonymous student warns me

every time you're about

to break the rules.

I wonder who that mysterious Chloé can be.

Anyhow. My office, now, Ms. Dupain-Cheng.

[sighs]

Congratulations.

Another two weeks like this,

and you'll set a new school record

for the number of tardies in my class

this year. Now go to your desk quietly.

What's with the even-more depressing

than-usual face, Dupain-Cheng?

Something bugging you?

[giggles]

-[squelches]

-[gasps]

[yelps]

[Chloé laughing]

She wants to design clothes,

yet she can't even keep hers clean.

Wow, Chloé.

You really put a stain on her character.

Shush. If I'm not the one who said it,

it's not funny.

Chloé,

this was another one of your dirty tricks.

Not only are you late and wasting

everyone's time clowning around,

now you're groundlessly accusing

one of your classmates?

Why don't you go see

what the principal thinks of this?

But I just came back from his office.

Well, go back.

And to think

the day's just getting started.

What's your problem?

You want to play with some paint too?

What about you?

Is there something you wanna tell me

other than--

[imitates student]

[laughing]

I just got three more hours

of detention on Saturday.

And it's all because of Chloé.

Don't be mad at her.

She's this way because her mother left her

-when she was young.

-So did mine.

And you don't see me

having fun bullying Marinette.

We've got to do something

about your pants.

-I'm afraid they might be ruined for good.

-Ugh. They were my favorite pair.

You can have my swimming trunks

if you'd like.

[giggles] Thanks, but swimming trunks

are for swimming pools.

It'd be weird to be wearing them

in the schoolyard.

Out of the way, you parasites.

I warned you.

No talking to the baker girl.

We'll talk in the cafeteria.

The only place she never goes to for now.

Parasite means you too, goldfish brains.

Oh, thanks. That's nice.

I have big news for you, Dupain-Cheng.

Starting now,

there will be no rest for you.

Not even in the cafeteria.

I'll be there

to make your life a nightmare.

[shouts]

I've warned you, Bourgeois.

You leave Marinette alone.

[sighs]

Mmm. You can't even have fun

with people in peace these days.

Marinette, I promised your mom

I'd keep an eye on you,

but I can't be around all the time.

And next year

I won't even be here anymore.

You've gotta learn to stand up to Chloé.

Well, even the teachers are afraid of her.

-And the semester's almost over.

-[Kim laughing]

Hopefully, next year we won't be

in the same class again.

Don't tell me

you're crushing on this dingbat.

Why not? He's nice, funny, and kinda cute.

[sighs] And are you going to do something

about this for a change?

You're right. I've gotta do something.

I know.

I could ask him out to the swimming pool

after school. What do you think?

No, stop.

Come on, Max. Laugh a little.

I think you might be confusing kindness

for foolery, Marinette.

You're being too hard on him.

Be careful, Marinette.

[Sabrina gasps]

[whispering] It looks like… [indistinct]

I'll see you tonight then.

So, I heard Marinette asked you

to go with her to the swimming pool.

Yeah, we're going swimming together.

Cool. 'Cause I love to swim.

[scoffs] That's not

why she asked you, dummy.

It's not? Then what are we gonna do?

She wants to declare her feelings for you.

For me? But why?

Probably because she's utterly ridiculous.

And so are you.

Which makes you two perfect

for each other.

Oh. You think so?

But, uh, if we're not swimming,

then what are we supposed to do

when we're together?

What do you like to do besides swimming?

Uh… I like to laugh.

Well, there you go.

That's what you're gonna do. Laugh.

Because I've got a great idea

for a super funny practical joke.

[whispering]

And then you gotta… [indistinct]

You sure she'll like it?

She'll love it.

Awesome. You're just too funny, Chloé.

You know me, an absolute scream.

So you're going, just like that?

-What are you gonna say to him?

-I don't know.

I'll see if we're having a good time,

and if I feel like the moment's right,

I'll just tell him how I feel. That's it.

This isn't tae kwon do, Socqueline.

We're just going to the swimming pool.

I don't need to have a plan

or go over my every move.

-I'll tell you how it went tomorrow.

-Right.

[bus bell beeps]

[both laughing]

You know, Kim, I think you're really funny

and nice and sweet too.

And I--

I think I'd like us

to be more than friends.

You do?

Oh, Marinette, when you're around,

I feel like I'm in a dream.

As if I were swimming

in the awesomest ocean.

I'd give you every pool floatie

in the world if I could.

But all I have is this tiny, uh… thing.

Oh, Kim.

I love you.

[screaming]

[laughing]

Chloé was right. Spiders are hilarious.

[screaming continues]

[panting]

[shouts]

[Chloé, Sabrina laugh]

Hey, you two!

Oh. From this day on,

your life will be an endless torment,

Dupain-Cheng.

Even if you spent your whole life

locked in your room,

you'd still be the star of Shame-TV

on social media every day.

[Socqueline grunts]

[Chloé, Sabrina gasp]

[sobbing]

[Kim] So, that was hilarious, right?

I'm cracking up.

You! Go away!

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Come on. It was just a practical joke.

[cries]

[sobbing]

I will never ever fall in love again.

It wasn't your fault, Marinette.

Yes, it was. You were right.

I should have known. Been more prepared.

I should've had a plan.

I should've been more careful.

I'll never tell another boy

that I love him

before I know everything about him.

Whether he's kind or not, thoughtful.

What he does outside of school.

And with who. I'll know everything.

His birthday. All his first names.

His schedule. His favorite things.

And above all, I'll make sure

that he is not friends with Chloé.

[sobbing]

And then, for no reason at all,

she att*cked me with her ugly little feet.

Fortunately, by some incredible stroke

of luck, I didn't get hit.

Then I had to witness the m*ssacre

of an innocent phone.

[clears throat] I'm afraid

there's not much I can do.

All of this happened in an extracurricular

setting outside the school premises.

And it wasn't even your phone.

[sighs] I understand.

Luckily, when Daddy finds out

how incompetent you are,

he'll appoint a new principal

with a greater sense of justice.

Come on now, Ms. Bourgeois,

we don't want to bother the mayor

for something so minor.

Socqueline, you're hereby suspended

for two weeks.

That means until the end of the year.

What about class counsel?

What about the prom?

Good riddance.

[Marinette] Socqueline, wait.

I'm sorry. This is all my fault.

It's not fair you being punished

because of me.

Every good fight is worth fighting.

We shouldn't be influenced

by our chances of winning,

but by whether or not

it's the right thing to do.

Remember, Marinette.

You gotta know when to step in.

That's the only way you can change things

in life.

[grunts]

[shouts]

[laughs]

I know why I'm so afraid.

You did that to Marinette?

Just like Chloé said,

when you like a girl, you get on one knee,

compliment her, and give her jewelry.

Except that time, it wasn't for real.

It was just a practical joke.

[sighs] Chloé's the prettiest girl

in the world and the funniest too.

How could you say that in front of me?

And do such awful things to Marinette?

Your behavior is cruel and unacceptable.

Come on, loosen up, you guys.

It's like you can't even

speak your mind these days. [sighs]

That doesn't give you permission

to hurt other people.

Whatever. I'm the way I am,

and I'm fine that way.

It's not my fault you guys have

no sense of humor.

A free spirit feeling unjustly rejected?

As an ardent defender

of freedom of oppression,

it is my duty to help him.

Voyage, my Megakuma!

Dark Humor, I am Monarch.

We should be able to laugh at anything

and anyone.

That's why I'm giving you the power

to win people over

with your unique sense of humor.

Xuppu.

Your power is now mine.

Transfer!

Of course, the spoilsport Ladybug

and Cat Noir will try

to knock some sense into you,

but thanks to the essence

of the Miraculous of Derision

that I'm also giving you, you will be able

to seize their Miraculous.

At least you get my sense of humor.

Adrien! I know what's wrong with me.

It's not my fault.

And it's not your fault either.

It's all Chloé's fault.

So, all you wet blankets.

Ready to learn to have fun?

[all] Kim?

Hey, you! There's no flying in the pool!

This way.

Ugh. It's like you can't do anything

anymore.

I'm gonna drain the pool.

It'll be hilarious when people dive in.

[laughter]

That's not funny at all!

It's seriously dangerous.

Why aren't you laughing?

Where's your sense of humor?

[shouts]

Stay here! I'm going to get help.

At least when we're running away

hand-in-hand, I don't shake like a leaf.

Tikki, spots on!

Kim's gone way too far.

Plagg, claws out!

-Bull's-eye! Direct hit!

-[laughter]

-What? You don't like playing Battleship?

-[cries]

-[crying]

-Why aren't you laughing?

Where's your sense of humor?

Can't you pick on someone your own size?

Do you have no shame at all?

Cat Noir, calm down.

We just need to destroy

the akumatized object.

You're gonna hurt him.

And he'd deserve it!

[grunting]

[groans]

We'll see if you're still laughing

after I've wiped that smile

from your face with my Cataclysm!

No! What's happening to you?

-[gasps]

-No!

[laughing]

I don't know about you,

but I'm having a ball!

-[laughter]

-Whoa!

Sorry you have to bounce so soon!

Lucky Charm!

No!

This is where your luck runs out, Ladybug.

Balloon? Yay!

Come on, buddy, let's play ball!

[Kim] Hey!

[Marinette]

Spots off! Spots on! Lucky Charm!

Wait. How did she do that?

She had time to transform back

and forth, you fool.

[chuckles] What's with that?

Is nature calling?

[Cat Noir laughs]

[chuckles] I know how to keep people glued

to their seats.

That's right.

Nature is calling me to kick your butt.

[screams]

I got her?

[laughs, singsongy]

It's my turn to laugh now.

Ladybug, make way for Ladygag.

Cat Noir! Yoo-hoo!

-Here, kitty kitty!

-Ew! Are you out of your mind?

What's wrong? Where's your sense of humor?

Would you prefer a litter box?

Good one, Ladygag.

You got them both. Bravo, Dark Humor.

Now all you have

to do is take their Miraculous.

-Sit, kitty!

-[Cat Noir meows]

[Marinette]

The potty is just getting started.

[laughter]

Hey! Get this off of me!

Ha! That's right. I pretended to be hit.

What's the matter?

Don't you like my practical joke?

You really need a sense of humor.

Over here. Right there. Nope, over there.

This isn't funny.

[grunts]

No more evil-doing for you, Megakuma!

Time to de-evilize!

Gotcha!

Bye-bye, little butterfly.

Miraculous Ladybug!

Uh. [grunts] What happened?

Monarch used your emotions

to manipulate you.

Kim, this is a magical charm.

Always keep it with you.

May it help you avoid making

the same mistakes again.

I'm sorry. I let my emotions

get the better of me, too.

Don't worry. It can happen to anyone.

That's why there's two of us.

That way, one of us is always there

to help the other.

-Pound it.

-Pound it.

I can't remember anything.

I hope I didn't do too many awful things

when I was a supervillain.

The worst thing is

that you do awful things

even when you're not akumatized, Kim.

Again with that story? It was just a joke.

A girl liked you, and you broke her heart.

But I had no idea.

Just because you have no idea

is no excuse.

The pain is still real.

[Kim] You're right, Ondine.

I'm just a fool who doesn't think about

the consequences of what I say or do.

But I'm gonna change.

I'm sorry I hurt you, Marinette.

Can you please forgive me?

Apology accepted, Kim.

There! That's the boy I fell in love with.

I've finally figured out

why I keep making things so difficult.

Why I'm so afraid of telling you

how I feel.

I know you'd never mean to hurt me,

but somehow I'm still scared.

And I'm afraid I'll be scared

for a long time to come.

I'm scared too.

This is all new to me as well.

I won't always know how to react.

I'm scared of doing something wrong,

scared of hurting you,

scared of someone else hurting you,

scared of losing you.

But we're together, you and me.

And we'll do whatever we can

to help each other.

And then, together,

maybe we'll become less and less scared.

I'm sorry.

We've got time.

[Adrien] I know about everything you did

to Marinette last year, Chloé.

You're going to go and apologize to her,

and prove to everyone that you can change.

I'm sure she'll forgive you.

[laughs]

Forgive me?

Why do I care about her forgiveness?

I couldn't care less

about Dupain-Cheng's feelings.

She and the likes of her only exist

to suffer for my entertainment.

Why bother having power if you can't use

it against those who don't have any?

You were the one who's getting things

wrong with your baker girl.

You're a prince! You belong with me,

the princess!

You're in this world to shine!

To make fun of all the losers who are

only good enough to be used as doormats!

[Adrien] You're nothing like

a princess, Chloé.

I supported you.

I gave you multiple chances

to become a better person.

Everyone reached out to you,

including Ladybug and Cat Noir

when they gave you

the Miraculous of the Bee again.

But all you ever think about is yourself.

And what else is there to think about?

Losers and nobodies? The little bees?

The planet?

We will never be friends again, Chloé.

You and I are done.

Traitor.