01x07 - Never Squeeze a Fox

[bunniefuu]

- [groaning]

- [evil mogwai cackling]

Hand over the mogwai and all will be forgiven, Elle.

[laughing]

Oh! Hear that? The bad human knows Elle.

What a shock.

Hey, that's not fair.

Not fair?

If she hadn't bum-rushed the portal,

I wouldn't be full of poison,

my favorite bar wouldn't be surrounded

by monsters,

and my favorite mogwai, you,

would be safe at home.

If anything, my sarcasm

was an act of kindness.

If my mogwai dies,

it's because

of your selfishness.

Hey!

[Elle grunting]

- [Radish] Psst.

- [Sam and Gizmo scream]

- [Sam] Radish?

- We thought we should warn you.

Greene and the bad mogwai

are here.

Uh, yeah.

Thanks for the warning, Radish.

What or who

are the rest of you?

- We're farmers.

- And fabulous.

Not to jinx it,

but I think they're gonna be

our new family.

Yeah, yeah. Glad at least one of us

might get a happy ending.

Wait. How did

you guys get inside?

We could tell you, but you might want

to distract those evil mogwai.

[laughing maniacally]

I have an idea.

- Distraction!

- [Gizmo squeals]

[evil mogwai] Bright light.

I I did it.

[groans] Oops.

Classic humans.

[evil mogwai laughing]

Not yet.

I want to make sure

we wait until the poison truly takes hold.

I prefer fights

I know I can win,

especially against a Goddess.

Oh, this ring

really complements my skin,

which does not go

with everything.

You say she protects

against all magic?

[screams]

Bright Light! Bright Light!

[gasps]

Really? Fire counts

as bright light, too?

Here I assumed arson

would be up your alley.

Are you cowering?

If I were paying you,

I'd be furious

that I'm doing

my own bidding right now.

[chittering]

[cackling]

Where is my mogwai, and the Goddess,

and those wretched children?

Where are they?

Ah, Sam Wing. Answer me, boy.

Hi, I'm Radish.

Another child?

You are not mogwai.

I know. But we're

confused for them

all the time.

Maybe it's our accents.

[growls]

Whoever told you

the mogwai was here was wrong.

It's just us.

- Maybe you should give up

- [Greene] Stop!

- [squeals]

- Not another time-sucking word from you, human scamp!

Out! Out! Out!

Go find my mogwai.

You mean to tell me

that you've been drinking

in that bar for 1,000 years

and never knew it had a wine cellar?

[Nuwa] Hey,

I just drank the wine.

I don't ask

where it comes from.

Is Radish gonna be okay?

What? He volunteered.

Besides, he's a survivor

who found a family.

You should be asking that

about us.

Sisters rejoice.

There's a furry mogwai

in the market.

And Nuwa's too weak

to protect it.

Who fancies

a bite of immortality?

[howling]

[theme music playing]

[grunts] Can't you move

any faster?

One more complaint and I swear

I'll drop you on your magical face.

Oh! How very human of you.

Something's not comfortable

and you give up.

Good plan.

Do you two even have a plan?

Oh, we did.

But it turned out to be

a mean old drunk who can't let go of the past.

- [Nuwa grunts]

- Both of you need to stop.

- [Gizmo chitters]

- The plan is to get somewhere safe,

- away from Greene.

- Bad plan.

Okay. Is everything

you say negative?

Not when I'm talking

to an intelligent creature.

- Remember, everything here wants to eat Gizmo.

- [Sam and Gizmo gasp]

Nowhere is safe.

Gizmo's in more danger

than your tiny human brains can imagine.

Fine, old witch.

You don't like our plan.

What's yours?

Well, I'm not going to respond

to being called a witch.

So, [clears throat] get me

to the Bagua room

on the other side

of the market, across the bridge.

It's a cosmic crossroads.

So even though

I don't have magic,

there's someone there

that can send Gizmo,

- and only Gizmo, home.

- [whistling]

[Gizmo gasps]

Oh, no. Fox Spirits.

Oh, we met one of those cuties

in the market.

I just want to squeeze her.

They're not cute.

We have to move.

But she's waving.

I can't be rude.

Hello. How are you,

Mrs. Fox Spirit?

It's "Miss,"

and thank you for inquiring.

I'm quite well

and quite hungry.

[howling]

- Okay. I don't think they're cute anymore.

- [Gizmo] Go, go, go!

[groans]

[Gizmo] Nuwa!

That is for groceries,

not Goddesses.

[retches]

[grunts]

[grunts]

[yelps] Get it off! Get it off!

[gasps] Right. You got weapons

and stuff in your box.

Well, it's mostly rope.

- But I think there's some expl*sives.

- [Gizmo chitters]

What? You've had that

this entire time?

expl*sives are wasted

on you, Sam Wing.

[Sam] Wait. We need to go

further away.

[all coughing]

Sam, give me the box.

I have a plan.

[coughing]

- [shrieks]

- [Fox Spirit] After the mogwai!

- [pants] Let's hope

- this works. [pants]

Not a Fox Spirit in sight.

Elle's plan worked.

[growling]

Now it's only everyone else

that wants you?

- How come they all know where you are?

- [Gizmo sniffs]

Right. They can smell you.

You're like,

super smelly to them.

- [Gizmo chitters]

- We'll never lose them.

Which means I'm going

to have to fight them.

- Please tell me there's another way.

- [Gizmo exclaims]

Gizmo? Gizmo. Gizmo!

[Gizmo chittering]

[sniffs, groans]

Ugh. I can't smell

anything but fish.

- This should work.

- Bagua room!

[Sam grunts]

[whispers] I think

it's working.

[chuckles]

That was a real two for one.

[Fox Spirits howling]

Saving Gizmo

and proving you wrong.

[Nuwa] About what?

That you have a plan?

We're still being chased.

[laughs] What? No!

That I'm selfish.

Look at me risking my life

for Gizmo.

All I see

is a reckless grifter, [grunts]

trying to con me

into sending her

to The Valley of Jade

for treasure.

[pants] Hey,

I can want treasure,

and want to get

Gizmo home, too.

Humans always have excuses

and justifications and sob stories.

But when the moment comes

and it's you or them,

you always choose you,

don't you, Elle?

[Greene] Elle.

[evil mogwai cackling]

Hand me the mogwai,

and perhaps some of this

can be forgiven.

Of course, the other monsters

hate you.

See, this is why you never meet

old reckless grifters.

[Fox Spirits howling]

What are you doing?

Introducing

my favorite monsters to each other.

Intentionally or not,

thank you for my mogwai, Elle.

Do not let them pass.

[growls] Charge!

Still think this was

a good idea?

Nah. I know it was.

[evil mogwai growling]

[gasps]

- [gasps]

- Sisters, we've been bamboozled.

[cries, groans, screams]

Huh? [growls]

[Nuwa vomiting]

[growls, grunts]

Ooh, eyes.

[humming]

[gasps]

[Sam sighs] Is that it?

I can't tell the difference between

what looks magical or normal anymore.

Yep, that's it.

Great. [laughs]

Then you're almost home.

[sighs sadly]

Sam?

- [Sam sighs]

- [both] Mmm.

Elle! Nuwa!

[Sam yelps]

Elle! Nuwa! You made it.

Of course.

What did you expe [sniffs]

[groans] What reeks?

Me!

He's covered in dead fish.

It's brilliant.

Ugh. It's literally

the worst thing I've ever smelled.

I know.

Hey, thanks for handling the Fox Spirits.

That was really brave.

- Well, obviously.

- Opportunism can look that way to the naive.

- Oh!

- I cannot wait till the poison hits your mouth.

Sam, help me get her

to the Bagua room.

[Elle grunts]

It'll be just a second

while I make sure we can get in.

You're not even sure

you can get in?

Are there any perks

of being a Goddess?

[Nuwa] My guy sometimes takes

a long lunch. Come on, Gizmo.

- [fish cart rumbles]

- [Gizmo] Whoa!

[Gizmo chitters, yelling]

Help! Help!

[fish cart growling]

[Gizmo whimpering]

[Gizmo screaming]

[monster growling]

- [Sam] Gizmo!

- [Elle] No!

[grunts]

- [groans]

- [Gizmo screaming]

[Sam] Hang on, Gizmo!

[Elle] What do we do?

Elle, You might want

to stay back.

Um, excuse me?

[Gizmo] Sam!

[grunts]

[Gizmo screams]

[growls, roars]

[grunts]

[grunts]

- You did it!

- [both laughing]

[Nuwa] You stupid, stupid,

stupid humans.

You pushed a River Spirit

into the river,

the literal source

of its power.

[both gasp]

[roaring]

[Elle] Oh, no, no, no!

- No!

- [Gizmo screams]

[grunts]

[screams]

No!

[Nuwa panting]

[Nuwa groans]

[Gizmo] Elle!

[gasps]

[Sam] Her pulse is weak.

[Gizmo] Elle!

Uh, hold her hand, Gizmo.

Talk to her.

[Gizmo] Elle, please, hold on.

She's not breathing!

I need to get to a medicine shop.

There's nothing you

or any human can do for her.

[gasps] Nuwa?

What have you been drinking?

Why is there

a dead River Spirit on my doorstep?

- And a dead human girl?

- Almost dead.

And I don't have magic right now, so you're it.

We're bringing her inside.

Inside? To do what?

Nuwa, I'm your

celestial administrator, not a party trick.

[metallic clang]

[sighs] Don't get blood

on the floors.

What are you doing?

That's basically flower balm.

She is dying.

Thank you for yelling information

I already have.

That cream's not going to work.

Let me do something.

She needs

You, to let me work.

- [sobbing]

- [Gizmo chitters]

And for the record, of course,

I know this is just flower balm.

I'm not done mixing, kid.

There's one more ingredient

that changes everything.

What did you just put in there?

It's unpronounceable

if you have a human mouth.

[gasps]

Elle! You're alive.

[groans, gasps]

Is Gizmo okay?

[Gizmo chitters]

[sniffles]

Not much surprises me, Elle.

But you did.

[evil mogwai cackling]

Administrator,

prepare a portal to The Valley of Jade.

[groans]

You're all going through

the portal.

Huh?

Even me?

The mogwai is approved,

but you'll need portal visas.

Lose them,

I show up and detain you.

Any vandalism

to The Valley of Jade, I detain you.

Take anything

without declaring it upon re-entry, I

Long bureaucracy short:

try not to mess everything up, okay?

Now go.

I'll hold them off long enough

for you to escape.

What! No, come with us.

How can you slow them down?

No offense,

but you have no powers.

He's going to enchant

my Guandao.

It won't last for long,

but it might be enough.

- [Gizmo nuzzling]

- [humming]

Don't let me down.

Nuwa!

Tallyho!

[evil mogwai growling]

[grunts]

[growls]

[grunting]

[growls]

[grunts]

Nuwa, no! Nuwa!

Come on, hurry up.

They're right outside the door.

[grunts]

- [Elle] Whoa!

- [Sam screams]

Nuwa, no!

[faint screaming]

[groaning]

[groaning]

Elle, are you okay?

If that's what you call it.

Where are we?

Valley of Jade!

We go.

[grunting]

What?

That jeweler knew his product.

This little ring is impervious

to magic.

Then use it.

What are you waiting for?

Excellent question.

[both grunting]

[screams]

[grunts]

[chuckling]

[gasps, grunts]

[evil mogwai cackling]

[grunts]

Where is my mogwai?

You'll never be able to find him

or The Valley of Jade.

Only a God can.

And you are not a God.

[chuckles]

Well, actually, you don't know

about my unique skill,

learned from years

of treasure hunting and to be absolutely blunt,

pure talent.

[Nuwa] No, no, no, no!

[Nuwa groaning]

The man knows

how to steal the show.

The knowledge of a God.

Ugh. Pearl Magic?

Including the location

of The Valley of Jade.

I'm glad I ate light today.

[laughs]

[evil mogwai cackling]

[theme music playing]