02x02 - Working Guy

[bunniefuu]

Good afternoon and welcome to the

Piedmont High Work Experience program.

Each of you will experience firsthand

what it's like to hold a real job

and, like me,

earn a pittance of a paycheck.

Not to mention we get

to leave school after lunch

or that we get to work in

the industry of our choice.

Many of our leading corporations

are participating in this program.

All of these jobs are entry level.

All of them are better than mine.

I hope nobody takes the intern

job at Digitex Software.

Well, hey, maybe the Wu Tang Lan

needs another Wu.

See, I'm not taking anything where

I have to wear a hair net

'cause no cheeseburger

is worth messin' up the 'do.

Each job is posted on the corkboard.

It is first come, first served.

Okay. On your marks. Get set.

Embrace your future.

[T.J.] Excuse me! Excuse me!

Can you leave me a good one?

Something high tech, maybe?

Whoa, boy.

Please be good. Please be good.

Please be good.

Alright. I got the mailroom

at DVD Electronics.

I got office runner at the prestigious

law firm of Levin, Daniels and Litvack.

What'd you get, little man?

Shut up.

"The Chow Wagon"?

What's that?

I'm delivering sandwiches.

And the hair net goes to the smart guy!

[whistle blows]

♪ Another slice of the life

Of Master T.J. Henderson ♪

♪ Super intelligent,

A fine young gentleman ♪

♪ A -year-old whiz kid

Bustin' high school ♪

♪ A pugnacious little shorty

With a thousand IQ ♪

♪ He's got a way with the ladies

And he's keepin' it real ♪

♪ Your favorite little study buddy

He knows the deal ♪

♪ That he's still just a kid

On the ball, very clever ♪

♪ You can say that he's bright,

Brainy, gifted, whatever ♪

♪ Your brother is smart ♪

♪ He's a smart guy ♪

♪ Smart guy ♪

♪ Smart guy ♪

♪ He's a smart guy ♪

Ah, no, man. I know we're good.

I got game and you got game.

But these the two-on-two

championships, baby.

We need to practice.

Oh. Oh, nah, nah. It's cool.

Hey, no, Gordon. It's cool. It's cool.

I'm not upset.

[chuckles]

It's alright.

Alright, man. Peace.

What is his problem?

Offhand, I'd say he has

a schizophrenic teammate.

Well, I'm making time to practice.

Why can't he?

Why can't he?

Oh, you know, it's the usual lame excuse.

"I'm performing surgery."

Please don't hate me 'cause

I look good in Armani.

That's not why I hate you.

Hey, very impressive, young brother.

Thank you, sir.

How'd you pay for it?

You said I could charge clothes to your

account for my new job.

I said socks and underwear.

I got those too.

Ferragamo.

I'll pay you back my first paycheck, Pop.

Yeah you will.

Now, are you gonna have some time tonight

to sh**t some hoops with the old man?

You know, get me ready for the big game.

Oh, well, it could be pretty late.

You know, I might go out with

the fellas after work for a drink.

Or, uh...

I might go to church and pray.

That's alright, man.

I'll work out on my own.

Well, Dad, I can help you practice.

[both laughing]

Yeah.

That's a very good idea, honey. Thank you.

Alright then, : , our driveway.

Be there.

You shouldn't have laughed at her, man.

I'm not hungry.

I'll eat something at school. Bye.

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Is that how you're gonna dress

on your first day at work?

I'm not gonna wear my stupid

Chow Wagon uniform to school.

Look, son, I know this isn't

exactly the job you wanted.

You can tell that quick, huh?

Now did you write your route down

so I'll know where you're gonna be today?

Yes. Here it is.

The little cowboy hat

shows everywhere I stop.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, little man.

This is my building.

You're delivering to me.

Then my humiliation is complete.

Uh, excuse me, but I have

some mail here for a Mr. Ferret?

Uh, that's "Fer-ray."

Just put it right there.

And... right there it goes.

Is there something else

I can help you with?

Yes, there is.

You know, I was just wondering...

professionally speaking,

exactly what do we do here?

We make DVDs.

Digital Video Discs?

Well, it's like a movie on video,

but instead of a cassette, it's on this.

Ah. Thank you. You've been a big help.

By the way, I'm Marcus, and you are...

Too old for you.

Not in Europe.

[ringing cowbell]

Chow Wagon.

Come and get it, partners.

[cooing and fussing]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Any buyers here?

Where is lunch?

Oh, I called that order in to Le

Petomaine over an hour ago.

Well I've got a room full

of starving executives

who are turning on me

instead of each other.

Pardon me, ma'am,

but this sounds like a job for...

Chow Wagon!

Oh, aren't you--

The cutest little thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which way?

This way.

We are really close here, guys.

No, we're not.

Uh, yes-yes, we are.

Now we've got the coding system

and we can compress the information...

we can fit it on the disc.

But without an algorithm to

decompress the data, it won't play.

People don't like it when they don't play.

[man] Stephanie, d*ck.

Shut up.

You guys have been squabbling for

three hours

and all I can see is a chalkboard

full of unworkable equations

and a little kid in a funny hat.

Who is that?

Uh, T.J. Henderson, sir. Chow Wagon.

What is it, lunch there?

Yes, sir. I can come up

to your floor next.

I'm in Zurich.

Then you're on your own.

If I may, sir,

the mathematical problem

is one of motion compensation.

We are really, really close here.

No, we're really, really not.

Isn't there anyone in that entire room

who has a fresh idea on how

to solve this problem?

You could use a better

methodology for your FFTs.

Who said that?

The little kid in the funny hat, sir.

Will that work?

Sure. It just seems to me

that you could do it

with a more elegant

sine-cosine transformation

to handle the motion compensation problem.

So... you want chips with that?

Goin' right.

Goin' right.

Goin' right--ha!

Whoo!

[goofy laugh]

Went right, just like he said he would.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just give me the rock.

Ow!

What?

You broke off one of my press-ons!

Alright, alright. Where is it?

See... she caught him napping.

Dad, never let your guard down.

Gee, thanks, coach.

-What's up, Pop?

-Hey, what's up, guys?

I think I'm gettin' the hang of this game.

How was the first day at work?

Oh, cool.

The gave me my own desk

right next to the office supplies.

You, uh, you want some Post-its?

Yeah, yeah, but did they give you

your own leather attaché case?

-Check that out.

-Whoo...

Very nice. Very impressive, Mr. Tibbs.

Hand-sewn leather, brass attachments.

Do you use it?

Or do you just show it to people?

During the workday, that case is filled

with important court documents

that must be delivered

so the wheels of justice

can turn smoothly.

Hey, there's one still in here.

-There is?

-Yeah.

It says,

"To Chief Justice William Rehnquist,

the Supreme Court. Urgent."

Excuse me one second, would you?

Man, I wonder how urgent that was.

Some guy in Texas just went--

[electrical buzzing]

Come on, Dad. You ready to play?

Hey, I was born ready.

Hey, Dad!

Oh, hey, hey, little man.

Welcome home.

So how was your first day at work?

I quit.

T.J. listen, I know the first day

of work is always rough,

but you can't just give up.

You got to stick with it.

Otherwise, you'll never get anywhere.

But, Dad, they made me special consultant

for research and development

at DVD Electronics.

Okay, well then, I would be wrong.

Booyah!

Excuse me. Do you know

where I'm supposed to sit?

Well, there is a really nice chair...

in your office.

Whoa!

I hope this meets with your approval.

Whoa-ho!

We've loaded in all our software programs,

word processing, spreadsheets,

engineering schematics.

Alright! "Duke Nukem!" You wanna play?

Penny a point?

[Ferret] There's our little genius.

You really wowed Murdoch yesterday, huh?

And look at the office space

that he gave you. Mmm.

You know, when I started with the company,

they put me in a four by four foot cubicle

I had to share with a guy who

smelled like a hot donkey.

But I am happy for you.

Thanks.

Jeanine, angel face, could you give us

the office for a minute here, hon?

Of course, sir. T.J. if you need me,

just press three on the intercom.

Cool!

T.J., you don't know

the personalities around here

and I'd just hate for you

to get in trouble.

Everybody seemed pretty nice.

Oh, they are! They are. They are.

But, for your own protection,

if you have an idea, pitch it to me first,

I'll pass it along to the big boys

and that way, if they don't like it,

you don't get b*rned.

It's a win-win.

So I tell you my ideas first?

Just follow the chain of command.

Okey-dokey.

Whoa, man! Would you look at this view!

Excuse me. Son. Hi.

What? Do you just walk into an executive

office without knocking?

-What is your name?

-He's my brother.

Oh, I see. It's a black thing. Righteous!

No. He's my actual brother.

You know same parents, same house.

Similar genetic coding.

Right. Well, you just

make yourself at home.

Oh, and T.J., remember... chain of

command.

Got it. Thanks.

Who is the slimeball?

That's Mr. Ferret.

Well, hey, I don't like him.

Why not? He's just looking out for me.

Trust me, T.J., I got a little bit more

street smarts than you do.

Ooh. Macadamia nuts.

Man, these things are, like,

a million bucks a pound.

Can we eat these?

[intercom buzzes]

[Jeanine] T.J. they want you

in the conference room.

Very well. I'll be right along.

That's what I'm talkin' about, boy!

Uh-oh! Look at him!

Before we get down to work,

I want to extend a warm welcome

to the newest member of our team,

T.J. Henderson.

Hi there.

Alright. Let's get cracking.

We need to get T.J. out of here by--

: . That's when his work-study day ends.

And we certainly don't want

to violate that.

Excuse me, sir, but the conference call

with our Korean production facility

has been changed to : .

No problem. You can

make : , right, T.J.?

Uh... sure,

although that's when

I usually watch X-men.

Jeanine, tape X-men for Mr. Henderson.

Yes, sir.

That's also my night

to take the trash out.

-Jeanine?

-I'm on it, sir.

Okay. Back to business.

Yes, sir! We ran some tests

on T.J.'s new methodology

and it seems sound.

However, there's still

one anomaly in the qualm.

Any ideas, T.J.?

Well, yeah--

Uh...

Speak up, son. We're very open here.

You can say anything any time.

But that's not what Mr. Ferret said.

That's not what I said.

Sure, you did.

No, no, no, no. That--we--

Remember? You said that I should

tell you my ideas first

so you could run it past

the big boys upstairs?

You know... chain of command.

Oh, ho ho! I was just goofin' on you.

You want his ideas first.

How's this?

You tell him your ideas first.

T.J. is point man on

this project from here on.

Do we understand the chain of command now?

That's a good call, sir.

I think that could work.

The kid is toast.

I think it's stopped bleeding.

Playing basketball with you is dangerous.

You got some bony elbows.

Hey, if you can't hang with the big dogs,

get off the porch.

Hey, what's up, Pops?

Ooh. What happened to you?

Hit my nose on the bottom of the rim.

Did you elbow him again?

Hey, he was hand-checkin' me.

I was not hand-checking you!

And what are you doing

coming in here so late?

Where's T.J.?

Whew! What a brutal day.

Thought I'd never get home.

Traffic was a bear

and the phone reception cuts out

after the Jefferson Memorial.

I nearly lost it.

Ugh! We got any children's Mylanta?

Would you settle for some Ovaltine?

Two scoops?

Are you okay, son?

You seem to be under a lot of pressure.

Oh, no. It's just the old man

wants the project done

by the end of the week.

And this guy, Ferret, is bustin' my hump

every step of the way.

You know, I don't think

this is such a great place for you.

Now, I'm wonderin' if we oughta

maybe rethink this.

No, Dad, don't say I should quit!

It's a great job! It's exciting!

It's what I've wanted to do

since I was little.

That long, huh?

It would be wrong to quit.

Remember? You said how

I shouldn't give up.

I've got to stick with it

or I'll never get anywhere.

You know, other kids ignore

what their parents say.

Please?

Alright. You can keep your job for now.

Thanks!

I knew you'd understand.

But enough about me.

How was your day, Floyd?

Well, I bid on a job,

then I installed a skylight,

then I came home and

sh*t hoops with Yvette.

Oh, that's right, you got

your game coming up.

When is it?

It's tomorrow night. You're gonna

be there, aren't ya?

Oh, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Oh, okay.

Oh, Mama, that's good!

I look forward to your response

and thank you in advance for your support.

Yours truly, yadda-yadda-yadda.

You are frighteningly good at this.

Thanks. What else have I got today?

Oh, T.J.--

Uh, just a sec. What was that?

Okay. You've got a conference call at :

and you've gotta be out of here

by : for your Dad's game.

Oh, yeah, that's right. He'll never

forgive me if I miss that.

I'm sorry, d*ck. What was that?

Nothing, nothing. No.

It, uh, it slipped my mind.

Boy, am I hungry.

Whatever happened to my sandwich?

Oh, Chow Wagon called.

They said the new snack kid got lost.

[ringing cowbell]

Chow Wagon! Come and get it, partners!

Cookies, got your vittles.

Whatever happened to your job

at the law firm?

You know, they are so uptight.

You miss one delivery

to the Supreme Court,

they make a federal case out of it.

[intercom buzzes]

Jeanine: T.J., it's : .

You gotta get going.

Okay! I'm outta here.

Hey, slugger.

Listen, Murdoch wants you

to run through these schematics,

give him a call when you're done.

It's gotta be tonight.

No! This will take me hours!

I gotta get to my Dad's game.

Oh, really? They've been

sittin' on my desk all day.

I feel awful.

Oh well. Good luck.

Aw, man!

-Where's T.J.?

-Don't worry. He'll be here.

[game horn blows]

Alright. That's you, guys.

Now remember, play defense and be tough.

Jeanine?

Oh, hi, Marcus.

Oh, hi. I'm Jeanine Newsome,

T.J.'s secretary.

Hi. Nice to meet you. Where is T.J.?

Something came up at the office.

He's gonna miss Dad's game?

Of course not. That's why I'm here.

Now... which one's Floyd?

[ref's whistle blows]

We have been over these

numbers a hundred times.

We've just gotta find a different

approach to these schematics.

Yeah, well, I've worked

on these graphs all week

and even the little egghead

says the numbers work.

That's not exactly what the egghead said.

And don't call me egghead!

Ferret, Ferret, rhymes with carrot.

It's Fer-ray!

Hey, hey! Boys, boys.

T.J.'s point was, while the numbers

add up,

they lead to cost overruns

in production of , %.

Did you get those numbers, d*ck?

Then it's back to square one.

I suggest your order breakfast.

Oh, boy!

[Floyd] Look, I don't care

if he is in conference!

It's my son and it's past his bedtime!

Dad!

I can't believe you're still here.

You're mad that I missed your game.

Look, that game has

nothin' to do with this,

although all the other Dads' kids made it.

You are mad. Look, I'm sorry.

It's just some work came up unexpectedly.

Well all I see is you sittin' here

eatin' Chinese food and watchin' TV.

And what is this? This guy's terrible.

All he does is sit there.

Well, I didn't want to interrupt

a father-son moment.

Okay, this is weird.

Dad, this is my boss, Paxton Murdoch.

He's in Switzerland.

Mr. Henderson, this is entirely our fault.

Please, sit down. Are you hungry?

We have pot stickers.

Are those the ones with the-- no!

Now look, this was supposed to be

a part-time work experience job

and it's turnin' into the real thing.

Point well taken.

If we're going to be

using your son like this,

we ought to make him a full-time vice

president with a salary to match.

No. The right thing is to let

this little boy stay a little boy.

Floyd, I understand.

You want your son to stay in school

so he can get good grades,

go to a good college

so he'll be hired by a high-profile

electronics company,

like... I dunno...

us.

Yeah, but not before

he gets his adult teeth.

I applaud your efforts to do

what's best for your son.

Well, then you're gonna give me

a standin' "o" for this.

We quit.

But, Dad!

I want to be vice president

in charge of research and development!

Not now, son. When you're older.

Oh, Dad, please!

I would have made it home earlier,

but Ferret-face didn't give me

the papers until : !

You've had those all week.

I have? Gosh.

Well, uh, I guess that's it for tonight.

I'm gonna have to pack up and get on home.

-Oh, d*ck.

-Yes.

Have a seat.

Alright.

But don't get comfortable.

Uh-huh.

So you actually dragged him out of there?

Well, you know, sometimes

a parent's gotta set limits.

But in the end, even if there's

kickin' and screamin',

the kid will respect ya 'cause...

he knows you did what was best.

So he's still not talkin' to you, huh?

Not a word.

He loved that job.

I think he's gonna hold this

one against me for a long time.

Uh, Dad?

I can't fall asleep.

Can I play you one game of dominoes?

Sure.

So I was wrong.

This reception is terrible!

I'm sorry to bother you at home.

I just need one quick favor.

Okay, as long as it's quick!

I got French homework!

And if my Dad finds out, we're dead.

Just take a look at these

compression ratios.

See if they work.

Hey, listen, T.J., how about--

What's that?

Uh, X-men!

I'll save you, Wolverine!

Not one of their better episodes.

[clapper]

I'm never working for this guy again.