03x01 - She Got Game

[bunniefuu]

Why are we watching scream?

I told you I didn't want to see scream.

Oh, we're not. This is Scream .

Way better than S cream . More screaming.

You want some?

No, and neither should you.

It's just dripping with butter.

We've got to watch your cholesterol.

Well, how come Mo gets it?

Because we don't care about

Mo's cholesterol.

So what, a thick brother

can't get no concern?

A thick brother want to get any love,

he gotta stroke out. Is that it?

Well, that's better.

I just want to be loved.

Oh, Marcus, I got you something.

I want you to try this on.

Yeah, maybe after the movie.

Oh, come on, baby.

I want to see it on you now.

It's for the concert this weekend.

"I'm hers"?

Cha cha cha cha cha!

Jada Pinkett's in this.

And mine says, "he's mine."

Uh, baby, I don't know

if I can rock this at the concert.

See, I'm dressing to look like Puff Daddy,

not Punk Daddy.

Why are you acting like this?

'cause you been doing this ever since

the day I met you--

telling me what to wear,

telling me what I can eat.

Why don't you just get me

a dog collar with a really long leash?

It's just a shirt.

Oh, no. Jada's in the beginning.

Black folk always get k*lled

early in these things.

If it's just a shirt, what's the big deal

if I wear it or not?

The big deal is, I want you to wear it.

[woman screams]

There goes Jada.

Look, Marcus, when you're with me,

I want you to look a certain way.

Why are you always trying to change me?

I'm not trying to change you, darling.

I'm trying to mold you.

Ah. Want to mold something?

Go make me some jell-o.

You know what? I don't need this.

I got a lot of brothers checking for me,

so if you ain't down, I can just jet.

Oh, well, you can planes, trains,

and automobiles for all I care.

-Just go.

-Hmm!

You alright, man?

Can you believe her trying

to make me wear a shirt like this?

Look, if you don't want it, I'll take it.

Now, what you gonna do with

a shirt that says "I'm hers"?

Sit next to fine older women and

make people think I'm with 'em.

♪ Every day's another lesson ♪

♪ And my head's in a whirl ♪

♪ If I make a wrong decision ♪

♪ It's not the end of the world ♪

♪ I will reach my destination ♪

♪ Make mistakes from a to z ♪

♪ With each mistake there's a new lesson ♪

♪ I can be anything you want to be ♪

-♪ Never experiencing a dumb phase

-Smart guy ♪

♪ He's ahead of the game at a young age ♪

♪ The intelligence of a grown man ♪

♪ Trapped inside of a young brain ♪

♪ He's a bit on the short side ♪

♪ But stands tall when you show the ball ♪

♪ That's why I'm hanging

With the smart guy ♪

♪ AKA Mr. know-it-all ♪

♪ Smart guy ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Dad, where's aunt Olivia's number?

On speed dial.

Yes, it is. And look who else is here

all of a sudden--

the lovely and charming Maxine Franklin.

Oh, dad's little dental hygienist.

If you don't cry, does she give you a toy?

You know, she must really be something,

because she's replaced the poison control

center on the speed dial.

You know, I was gonna invite her

over to introduce to you guys.

Now I'm just gonna tell her you're dead.

Smooth. Get some sympathy lovin'.

Ooh, gotta go, Dad.

Hey, look, I need $

for my new gym uniform.

dollars?

T.J., I thought the school's insurance

wouldn't cover you for gym.

Nope. Now that I'm ,

they'll let me in the regular gym class.

I don't have to play foursquare with

the special-ed kids anymore.

That's right.

You'll be one of the guys now.

Get to wear a uniform and a jockstrap.

Hopefully not in that order.

Don't worry, Dad.

This year, I'm blending in.

Hey, coach! Sorry I'm late. They had

to find me some shorts that would fit.

Are they still looking?

I got 'em pinned.

Coach! Coach, is this

good enough for a "c"?

Yeah. At least you didn't cry this time.

Get outta here.

Come on, T.J., You're next. Let's go.

Alright, go get 'em, T.J.!

Come on, T.J.!

Whoo!

[bell rings] Go, go, T.J.

Whoo!

Cute tush.

Buns of steel.

Boy, that's gonna chafe comin' down.

Hi, Mo. What's going on?

Not much. Talk to you later.

Mo, come back here.

Okay.

Look, just 'cause Marcus and I had

a fight doesn't mean you and I can't talk.

Yes, it does.

Well, that's just silly.

I don't make the rules. I just follow 'em.

Well, you and I are pretty good friends.

Does that mean you can't talk to Marcus?

Well, I... um...

now you're messing with my head.

Look, I just want you to find out

what happened with Marcus.

I'm not sure if we broke up

or if he just needs space.

You broke up.

Oh. Really?

Okay, just needs space.

I don't need a guess. I need to know

so I can get on with my life.

When I find out, can I get on

with my life?

Yes. Look, just talk to him and meet me

in the cafeteria at lunch.

Mmm, no good. Marcus'll be there.

Okay, fine. Let's meet back

here at your locker.

It's not my locker. That's Marcus' locker.

He just lets me use it.

It's centrally located. I like that.

Alright. Then meet me in the library.

Nobody ever goes there.

We have a library?

It's on the fourth floor.

We have a fourth floor?

Hey, has the bleeding stopped?

Uh, yeah. Sorry, man, but when I said

"my ball," you should've backed off.

Yeah.

Okay, guys. Hit the showers.

Wet it and wash it.

Uh, so, coach, how many stalls

they got in there?

Just one big room.

Like in a prison movie?

A low-budget prison movie.

You have a problem with this?

Oh, no. It's just... I've got this

fungus on my feet,

and I'd hate to give it to the other guys.

It's at the scaly stage right now,

where it's starting to crust over

and cr*ck. You want to see?

I'll take your word for it.

Uh, listen. For tomorrow,

get Desenex and slippers.

[sniffs] Whoo! Meanwhile, let's stop

by my office for some aqua velva.

Oh... good.

Mo. Over here.

This place is really nice!

Real quiet, big tables.

Great place to take a nap.

Did you talk to Marcus?

-Yes, I did.

-And?

-You broke up.

-Really.

Yep. He's done with you. Over you.

Actually physically sick of you.

Couldn't even finish his lunch.

Fortunately, I was there for him.

I see.

Well, that was it.

So, uh, I guess I'll see you later.

You're gonna be fine.

Come on, girl. It's just one guy.

He's not even that great. Trust me.

I know. I've been out with him.

Chews with his mouth open.

Huh? Huh? There you go.

There's that Dana smile.

See, that's why I like hanging with you.

You're a good friend.

You always know the right thing to say.

Except in French class.

I don't know why I keep taking

that introductory course.

You're so funny.

I do my best to entertain.

You do more than that.

You're great to be with.

You've got your own style.

You know, I think I picked the wrong guy.

Ha ha! You mean me instead of Marcus?

I'm funny? You're the one that's funny.

[chuckles]

You want to go

to the Outkast concert tonight?

Um... you know,

I-- I have to study French.

I mean, when you get a on a midterm...

Oh, come on, Mo. I don't want to go alone.

Besides, we'd just be going as friends.

They're great seats.

Fifth row.

I think, I can help you out with this one.

Thanks, Mo.

[both chuckle]

Hey, Dana. Hey, Mo.

Hey, T.J. I was just giving Dana

here a little friendly hug.

Nothing freaky about it at all.

A hug between friends.

That's what the world needs--

more huggin' and less muggin'.

Like this here.

Whoo!

You smell like funk and aqua velva.

Hey, Marcus. I was wondering

if I can ask you something.

And you've gotta keep it between us.

What, you got a girl in trouble?

Yes, Marcus. Yes, I did.

And now I have to marry her.

Can we please be serious?

I need to know the best way

to ditch a class.

You... ditch a class?

Man, this is a proud day for me, okay.

Now, which class do you want to ditch?

Biology? 'cause, see--

I want to cut gym.

You got this all backwards.

See, gym is a class that you want to take.

[sniffs] Uhh! Whoo!

I know, I know. I smell like feet.

Why didn't you just

take a shower after gym?

Oh, I get it. You want to cut class,

no shower.

You're embarrassed.

No, that's not it.

It's cool, man. We've all been there.

Hey. What's goin' on?

T.J.'s afraid to take a shower with

the other guys in gym.

[all girls together]

Aw... oh, that's so cute!

Now, listen, T.J., This is nothing to be

embarrassed about.

What you're feeling is completely normal.

That's right. You shouldn't have

to worry about this, T.J.

It's not your fault you haven't

developed yet.

And if they laugh at you, T.J.,

it's their problem, not yours.

That's right.

You be proud of what you've got.

It's what I tell myself.

He's embarrassed, and it's so cute.

The important thing was we kept that

just between you and me.

Hey. Don't ever hesitate to come to me.

What up, Marcus? You ready to lose

in some one-on-one?

In your dreams. Let's go.

Before we play, I want to ask you

something about Dana.

I'm tired of you asking me about Dana.

Man, I'm done with Dana.

I'm moving on to Beverly.

So, you don't care who dates her?

Hey, it's a free country.

So if Jimmy woods took her out?

I'd say, "good luck, Jimmy.

Wear what she tells you."

What about Tony dobbs?

"Hey, Tony, watch your cholesterol."

So anybody can take her out, Tony,

Jimmy, me. Let's go play some ball.

What'd you say?

Let's go play some ball.

No. You said "me."

What do you mean, "you"?

-Hey, Mo, how was the concert?

-Uh, tuh, tuh, boy!

Man, what concert?

Dana took me to the Outkast concert.

Oh, so you already went out with her.

Yeah. I was trying to tell you, but...

Look, I just came down here

to get a towel out of the dryer.

They're nice and toasty,

and, uh... I gotta go.

We just went as friends.

Oh, yeah?

Did you come home "just as friends"?

Well, see, that's what

I came to talk to you about.

How could you, man?

I can't believe you'd step to my girl.

Your girl? You've been telling me this

whole week how it's over, over, over.

Look, friends do not go out with friends'

ex-girlfriends.

For how long? A week? A month? Forever?

Yeah. When I break up with a girl,

you break up with her, too.

Man, you're buggin'.

If I'm buggin', how come you came

all the way over here

to ask me for permission for something

you already did?

I didn't come over here

to ask your permission.

I came over here to let you know.

I want to be straightforward and honest.

So do I. So how's this

for straightforward?

Get your own girl.

I have one.

And her name is Dana.

[door closes]

Women.

::. --] ::.

Okay, everybody, huddle up.

Alright, this is game point.

We're perfectly positioned.

We've got our shortest people up front.

Yes, but one of them is Jennifer.

Okay, as we serve, bend over

and tie your shoe.

That is morally reprehensible.

Winners don't have to run laps.

Do what the kid says.

Alright, game point.

[whistle blows]

[blows whistle]

Okay. Everybody, let's hit the showers.

Come on, let's go.

Hey, Mackey.

Ohhh... I think I might've pulled

a muscle on that one.

So if coach wants to know where I went,

tell him I'm up in the nurse's office.

Oh, right. You're embarrassed

to shower with the other guys.

What is this, published somewhere?

Okay. Which muscle did you pull?

He's going to ask.

Lliotibial band.

My leg.

[sighs]

Listen, I gotta go smooth things

over with my boy.

Okay. See you at lunch?

Uh-huh. Save me a Nutty Buddy?

Look, we gotta talk.

Ah! Just the man I wanted to see.

Is this your French book?

Yeah.

What are you doing?

The same thing I'm doing

with your geometry book,

your chemistry notes, your blow-dryer,

your toothbrush, and your sandwich

from last year.

You're throwing me out?

No doubt!

We've been sharing this locker for

two years. Where am I supposed to go?

Why don't you share a locker with Dana?

This is so sad. Your brother and Mo

have been friends forever.

Friendship doesn't mean anything to boys.

Especially when there is booty involved.

Okay!

I thought Marcus broke up

with Dana, and it was over.

Oh, come on, Nina. That is so naive.

It's the way life is.

It's the way love is.

If you find your soul mate,

how long are you supposed to wait?

A reasonable amount of time.

That's right. When Yvette

broke up with Todd,

I waited well over three weeks before

I went out with him.

You went out with Todd?

What are you, a tramp?

Little miss hot-pants tramp.

Is that what you are?

He asked me out, Miss "I'm saving

myself for marriage."

You'd better come get your girl,

'cause we about to get into it.

Oh, you want a piece of me?

Oh, I'm sorry. Apparently you have me

confused with Todd.

That's it.

Ladies, ladies, settle down.

Increase the peace, girls.

Ohh! Ohh!

Hey! Hey there, you couple of wildcats!

You cool your jets and get to class.

T.J., What the Sam Hill

are you doing here?

Mackey said you were out getting

arthroscopic surgery.

Oh, no! He was supposed to tell you

that I pulled a muscle,

which-- which I did for real.

Son, I've been teaching gym

ever since the ABBA crapped out.

And I have heard every excuse

for ducking out of the shower there is.

Now, either you're gonna tell your dad

what you're doing, or I am.

N-no! You can't! I'll tell him.

It'd be better if he heard it from me.

Good.

I hate talking to parents.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, buddy.

Yvette's gonna take you out to a movie

so I can have my date with Maxine.

Oh, so you're in a good mood then.

What'd you do?

Well, I guess I'd just better come clean.

You see, I was in the cafeteria,

and this guy just cut in front of me,

so you know I lost it.

So I picked up my tray, and I hit him

in the back of the head,

and I just kept hitting him

and hitting him and hitting him.

Okay, so what'd you really do?

I've been skipping showers in gym class.

It doesn't seem so bad compared to...

So, now, why are you skipping showers?

I just don't like taking showers.

Since when?

Since it's public.

When I'm in my own bathroom,

I'm the big man on campus.

But... when I'm in the locker room,

I'm the--

I get the point.

If it helps you out any,

I didn't like showing my business, either.

I don't have a problem

showing my... business.

I just feel more comfortable around

businessmen my own age.

Well, I tell you what.

Why don't I write a note to coach Gerber

and ask if he'll let you out of class

a couple of minutes early?

And that way, you can shower by yourself.

Yeah, I guess.

Although the whole point

of getting into gym class

was so you'd be treated

like everybody else.

If you start showering

at a different time,

it's not really gonna

help you to blend in.

But it's your choice.

Thanks for showing me your room, T.J.

your computer setup is incredible.

Thanks, Maxine.

You want to see my laser

I built in fourth grade?

I'll show you the holes

I burnt in the garage.

T.J., Come on, let's go.

The movie starts in minutes.

Dad, I picked the longest movie

I could find,

and we're gonna see it twice.

I owe you.

Well, you can start

by paying for the movie.

-With pleasure.

-Thank you.

What? I don't get anything?

I'm leaving, too.

[chuckling]

Great kids. I miss 'em to death

when they're gone.

-Glass of wine?

-I'd love one.

Yo. What's up?

Hey, Marcus, this is Maxine.

Hey. How you doin'?

-Hi.

-Hi.

So, uh... what you kids got planned?

Well, actually, we're gonna

stay in tonight.

Yeah, yeah. Me, too.

Nothing out there for me.

Marcus, Marcus. [chuckling]

It's Friday night.

Shouldn't you, like, get out

and go be with your friends?

I don't have any friends.

You're not making any in here.

Floyd! What's wrong, sweetie?

Oh, nothing. It's a long story.

His best friend's going out with his

ex-girl. See? That's not that long.

See, he's obviously upset

and needs to talk.

We have talked about this.

But you don't understand

what I'm going through.

I do understand, Marcus.

Mo has no business going out

with your ex-girl.

-Thank you.

-It's a cardinal sin.

-That's right.

-It's a betrayal.

Mm-hmm.

Because you got history with this girl

and you're still

gonna have feelings for her.

That's right.

And you told Mo that.

Not exactly.

Well, what did you tell him?

That I was over her and

she physically made me sick

and she should die.

And he couldn't see through that?

Well, he should've known.

That's what friends are supposed to do.

Yeah, psychic friends.

But you expected him to know

that you were in pain,

put his own feelings aside,

and be there for you.

I didn't think I had

to break it down to him.

Look, he's a guy, Marcus.

You got to break everything down to us.

Amen.

So what am I gonna do now?

You should go out there

right now and find your friend

and tell him how you feel.

Tell him that you're sorry

for the way you behaved

and that you can't come home

for another three hours.

Can I borrow the car?

-Please.

-Thanks, Pop.

Whoo! That was very impressive technique.

You ain't seen nothin' yet, baby.

I need to talk to Marcus, and

I need to talk to him right now.

Too bad. Just missed him.

Then I'll wait.

Mo's car is outside. Mo?

We gotta talk.

Of course you do.

Come on. Let's give them some space.

I've been driving around

with Dana all night,

trying to find a place to go to dinner

and I didn't want to stop at

any one of them,

because I thought I'd run into you,

we'd get into it again.

I can't live my life like this.

I know. Look, man,

it's cool if you want to go out with Dana.

One more time?

I was just mad at you 'cause

I was still feeling Dana.

I should've just told you straight up.

Look, if you still feeling her, then

I'll step aside.

No, no. It's like this.

You know how when they cut off your arm,

but you still feel like it's there...

but it's not there?

And then you found out your best friend

has run off with your arm?

You're sitting there thinking to yourself,

"dang, my best friend should be

looking after me

'cause I'm the one who just lost an arm."

Instead, he's going off

to the concerts with your arm.

I know exactly what you mean.

[Floyd] How come you don't know what

"get the heck out" means?

I should've known what you were

going through,

but I guess I was kinda sprung on Dana

and wasn't thinking.

Well, man, I'm just happy that we're able

to express our feelings.

Yeah, it feels kinda good to be out

in the open.

-Sorry, man.

-Me, too.

-Just give me a pat.

-Yeah.

Ahem. You want to go to the Pork Barrel,

get some ribs, watch some wrestling?

-Hey, cool. Cool. Let's do that.

-Let's do that.

Come on, boy.

Ha ha ha!

Is your house always this busy?

Only when I'm here with a hot,

tempting woman.

And how often does that happen?

Never.

-Not once.

-Uh-huh.

-'Cause I'm selective like that.

-Oh.

[chuckles]

Finally.

Alright, guys. Hit the showers.

[sighs]

[T.J.] Hey! Who used up all the hot water?

Hey. How's breakfast coming?

T.J.'s cooking it.

Oh, and I would say he's in an especially

good mood today.

Yesterday he confronted his fears

about showering with the big boys,

and I think it's given

his confidence a real boost.

It's done more than that.

Of course it has.

I think he's feeling more comfortable

with himself.

I would say so.

Hey, Dad.

Son, you're cooking in the nude.

And feelin' great.

[doorbell chimes]

-I'll get it.

-No, you won't.

Get a dish towel.

[clapper]

I'm never working for this guy again.