03x13 - Perchance to Dream

[bunniefuu]

[classical music plays]

Man, how long you gonna play

that ice-skating music?

This is Bach's

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring.

Its point/counterpoint

is a timeless musical expression

of the union of two individuals.

Well, Kurupt does the same thing

with We Can Freak It.

I'm saving We Can Freak It

for the first dance.

If we ever get to the first dance.

What is taking them so long?

Come on, wow!

Look at you.

Everybody's seated.

The minister's waiting.

We gotta get going. Let's, unless,

of course, you've changed your mind

and don't want to do this,

which I completely understand

and totally agree with.

In fact, why not just tell everybody

the wedding's off?

No. Daddy, this is right for me.

Trust me, it's okay. I'm happy.

I just think you can do better.

I think you're making a mistake.

Why would you think that?

Is it bad luck for me to see

my bride before the wedding?

No, it isn't.

[groans]

Whoa.

♪ Every day's another lesson ♪

♪ And my head's in a whirl ♪

♪ If I make a wrong decision ♪

♪ It's not the end of the world ♪

♪ I will reach my destination ♪

♪ Make mistakes from a to z ♪

♪ With each mistake there's a new lesson ♪

♪ I can be anything you want to be ♪

-♪ Never experiencing a dumb phase

-Smart guy ♪

♪ He's ahead of the game at a young age ♪

♪ The intelligence of a grown man ♪

♪ Trapped inside of a young brain ♪

♪ He's a bit on the short side ♪

♪ But stands tall when you show the ball ♪

♪ That's why I'm hanging

With the smart guy ♪

♪ AKA Mr. know-it-all ♪

♪ Smart guy ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

Hey, Yvette.

How're you doing on your college

applications? Are you done yet?

No. I was gonna work on them this morning,

-but I didn't sleep well at all.

-How come?

This stupid dream kept me up.

Dreams are not stupid.

I took a psychology course last semester,

and dreams really reveal

a lot about your life.

So, tell me about your dream.

I can really help you. I got a "B"

Dreams aren't always about

what they're about, right?

So a marriage dream

isn't necessarily about marriage.

-No.

-Good.

It's about relationships and commitment.

Oh, darn.

So, who are you marrying?

It's kind of embarrassing.

Yvette, there's nothing

to be embarrassed about.

I've studied this stuff.

I could understand

your apprehension if I got a C+.

It was Mo.

Oh my god. Mo? You dreamed you

were gonna marry Mo?

Could you be a little

more discreet, maybe?

Okay, Okay. Listen. Just because

you had one weird dream about Mo,

it's not a big deal.

This is the third time.

You're in love with him.

-I'll see you after gym.

-No, no! Alicia, that can't be it.

It's gotta be something else.

Well, recurring dreams generally mean

there's something you're trying

to work on in your life,

something unresolved with mo.

Yes! Yes. That's it.

What do you think it is?

It could be one of two things.

Either you did something mean to Mo

that you feel terribly guilty about--

Well, that doesn't sound right at all.

I think I'm ridiculously nice to Mo.

-Or you're in love with him.

-I could've treated him better.

Yvette, if you don't deal with it,

the dream's going to

continue to haunt you.

Look at this. "Vox amplifiers, $.

Mix board, ."

We can't afford this stuff.

Why do we need new equipment, anyway?

Because the last time we played in public,

the entire audience went "eh?"

I just want to point out that our last gig

was at a old folks' home.

Yeah. And I for one am sick and tired

of trying to play the keyboards

over an attendant yelling "clear."

There's gotta be some way

we can scare up , bucks.

We could get a job.

-Whoo!

-Whoo!

T.J., good news.

I got a B+ on that book report

you helped me with.

Way to go, Mackey.

Yeah, the teacher bought that whole thing

about Moby d*ck being

an allegory for good and evil.

It is an allegory for good and evil.

Right. Anyway, as a thank-you,

I brought pastries.

So, he gives you food

in exchange for help, huh?

Yeah. Ever since the school shut down

the homework help program,

a lot of kids have asked me for help.

Linzer Torte?

Really?

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Yeah. What's a Linzer Torte?

I was also thinking,

what if we start up

our own homework help line?

But instead of pastries,

we charge money for knowledge.

I'm shocked.

It was just an idea.

No, it's a great idea!

That's why I'm shocked.

Okay, gentlemen. The homework

hotline is in business.

I'm so excited, I'm shaking.

-Feel my leg.

-No!

Alright, guys. We each owe $

for the new phone lines.

You mean we already lost money?

I knew this wouldn't work. I quit.

Relax, relax.

These are what we call start-up costs.

We're gonna make

that money back in no time.

Hey, ready for the big launch?

Yep, it's all worked out.

We put flyers all over the school.

Kids call us up with their questions,

and we charge 'em five bucks a call.

We're open for an hour

and a half each day,

so if we get a call

every ten minutes, that's $.

.

Which, five nights out of the week,

works out to $.

.

So we'll have the $,

we need in four weeks.

Seven weeks.

Exactly.

Very impressive, fellas.

You are answering

all the questions, right?

If we want to make any money.

Just checking.

[telephone rings]

Welcome to Momars' homework help hotline.

If science and history are a mystery,

you're just a short dial

away from that "A."

Please hold while I transfer you

to our American Literature Department.

Hello.

Yeah, that's it. Now you got it.

Hey, we did twice the number

of calls that we projected.

This thing is a gold mine.

Yeah. If we double the number of hours

that we're open, we can make...

well, the kid's on the phone,

so I don't know the exact figure,

but it'd be a lot.

We can get all-new instruments...

get some satin jackets.

Yeah. Or rent a hotel room and trash it.

Alright. If you have any more questions,

call back tomorrow night.

Whoo! Closing time, and I am wiped.

Hey, man, we're all working hard,

but there's some kids that need our help.

You're exploiting me, aren't you?

Do you mind?

No. - split. I get the .

[telephone rings]

Mind if I use your phone?

The guys have the other one

tied up for their hotline.

Sure.

"Define the role

of a liberal arts education

in an increasingly technological society."

So, is this for Princeton?

No, this is for the University of Oregon.

I'm terrified to even look

at the essay for Princeton.

Why? for the last two years,

all I've heard is,

"I won't get into Princeton

unless I take this A.P. Course."

Or, "I won't get into Princeton

unless I'm editor of the newspaper."

Or, "I won't get into Princeton

unless you pay $

for this SAT Prep course."

Now, I paid my money.

So fill out the application,

and press real hard

on the financial aid box.

Dad, I just think I should concentrate

on getting the more realistic

schools done first.

You mean the easy ones?

Yes, as opposed to the ones

that'll send me back a letter saying,

"girl, please."

Honey, you can get

into any school you want.

That is such a daddy thing to say.

I just think I have a much better sh*t

at the University of Oregon.

Oregon? You don't wanna go

to Oregon, girl.

You wanna go someplace where you can

get some black hair-care products.

[telephone rings]

Hello.

No, this is not the homework hotline.

Is that for us?

This is my phone.

I know. We gave your number out

'cause business is booming.

It's finals week, so there's panicked

kids all over town.

It's a beautiful thing.

Please hold. Your call is important to us.

Um, hold on, Mo.

Dad, can you take the phone to T.J.?

there's something personal

I need to ask Mo.

-Really?

-Really?

Yes. Take the phone.

Please do not hang up,

as this will further delay your call.

You know, Mo, um,

if there's an issue between two people,

I think that it's better

not to sweep it under the carpet

-and leave it unresolved.

-Okay.

-Wait. Mo! That wasn't it.

-Oh.

You know, I haven't always treated you

with the respect you deserve as a friend.

Yeah. Yeah, I guess that's true.

Like when?

Two months ago, your car ran out of gas,

and you asked me if I could

lend you some money

so you could get

to Charise Williams' house.

And rather than give you the money,

I just gave you this big old lecture

about personal responsibility,

so you were late picking up Charise,

and she said that was the last straw,

and she broke up with you.

I am so sorry I let you down.

Please forgive me.

Sure.

Say you forgive me.

I need to hear you say it.

I forgive you. Can I go to work now?

Sure. Hey, hey.

I feel real good about where we are

with each other now, don't you?

Yeah. Great. Definitely. Thanks.

Girl's nuts.

Yeah. I talked to him all about it.

I apologized, and everything's

cool between us.

Yeah. That should put an end

to those dreams.

Thanks, Alicia. See you tomorrow.

[organ plays wedding march]

Doesn't mo look handsome?

Yeah, I guess.

Honey, look. It's not too late

to get you out of this.

Now, I'm a contractor.

I make a couple of phone calls,

he's part of the New Marriott.

Psst.

Yo, check it out.

You getting married? [chuckles]

I got some fine jewelry.

I got some bracelets, some necklaces,

some wedding rings,

something old, something new,

something borrowed,

something you didn't get from me,

you know, what I'm saying?

So, who else needs something?

Hey, this isn't a real diamond.

This is glass.

I deserve better than this.

I don't want second-rate.

Have you seen who you're marrying?

Dad, Mo is great.

He's reliable, he's nearby,

and he wanted me.

Look, this is marriage.

It's a huge commitment.

-How's he gonna support you?

-He's got the homework hotline.

They're up to five lines now.

I'll take her from here, Floyd.

Padre?

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today

to honor Mo and Yvette

sitting in a tree

k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

You're married. Mazeltov.

Slobber down, dog.

[gasps]

[telephone rings]

What?

Alicia, I had the dream again,

only this time, it went further.

I actually married Mo, kissed him,

and then a bunch of people went "whoo."

Congratulations.

Be sure to give yourselves time

before you have kids.

-That's really important.

-Will you pay attention?

I think my subconscious

is trying to tell me

that I really do have feelings for Mo.

Well, maybe you need to give him a chance.

Maybe you need to ask him out.

That's the only way you're going to know.

Yeah, but he's so... Mo.

Although he's a really nice guy,

and he does have a good sense of humor,

and he's kinda cute in his own way.

See? You're starting to like him already.

I didn't say that. Don't push it.

All I'm saying is I'm gonna ask him out.

Good lord, I'm gonna ask Mo out.

It's okay. You don't have

to get it on the first try.

do you want me to go over that again?

Thanks for calling.

Man, do you know how long

you were on that call?

Seven minutes.

Well, Mackey was confused.

Lunch confuses Mackey.

The key to this operation is turnover.

The more calls, the more money.

I think we also want to make sure

that our clients get

a good grasp of the material.

-Money.

-But--

Money, okay?

Talia's a little fuzzy about

the whole w*r of thing.

Just remember, man--

battle sites, dates, and move on.

Money.

Excuse me, guys.

Mo, I need to ask you something.

You need me to forgive you again?

Nah, that didn't work.

I'll be right back. T.J., you be able to

answer all those questions without me?

Good.

So, what's up?

Well, I was wondering if...

how about you and I, just the two of us,

go out to get some food around

dinnertime... by ourselves, to eat?

Sure. Why?

Because we've known each other

for a really long time,

but we've never gotten to know

each other personally, you know?

One on one.

Is this a date?

Are you asking me out on a date?

Well, yeah.

Yes, a date.

Although we don't have to call it a date,

if that puts too much pressure on it,

calling it that.

No, no. No pressure here.

Just a little curious.

Why do you want to go out

with me all of a sudden?

Well, in the past couple of days,

I've seen you in a different light.

Oh, I get it.

You see a brother

with his own homework hotline

and a steady positive cash flow,

and now you're ready to hook up.

No, it's not like that.

That's okay. Keep on using me

till you use me up.

So, uh, Saturday?

Yeah, Saturday.

You know, this could be a good thing.

Money is sexy.

Japanese, syllables.

Doesn't have to rhyme.

Means whatever you think it means.

Sayonara. Hit me.

Geometry on one. It's Mackey again.

Man, he takes forever.

Alright, what page you on, Mackey?

Hey, T.J.'s been blowing it up.

He just handled four calls in two minutes.

Okay, I'll just give you the answer,

and you can figure

out later how I got there.

Welcome, young lovebirds,

to the honeymoon suite.

Wow! Is this the spot, or what?

This isn't a hotel room.

This is my bedroom.

Yeah, and I'm your brother.

If there isn't anything else?

No, there's nothing else.

How about a tip?

Here's a tip. Stay in school, kid.

You're cheap, and that joke

is older than I am.

Well, here we are, Mrs. Tibbs.

I just thought my honeymoon

would be fancier.

That's why my motto is

"aim low and avoid disappointments."

Well, I guess we can get

our own place after the honeymoon.

No, no. I think we should live here.

See, I'll work out of the garage,

and you'll stay here and raise the kids.

Then after your dad croaks,

we'll move downstairs.

-Is this what my life's gonna be?

-If we're lucky.

But this isn't what I wanted.

I wanted a career and to travel and

to live an exciting and interesting life.

I can't do this. I want outta this.

You already said, "I do." It's done.

Now let's get to work

on all those little Mosters.

No! No little Mosters.

There's just gotta be a way out.

Actually, there is no way out.

There's gotta be a way out-- a loophole.

A form of some sort.

An annulment, a change of identity.

Room service menu. No, that won't do.

I'll take that.

Here we go. My Princeton application.

If I fill this out,

none of this will ever happen.

. for eggs Benedict! Are they crazy?

-Boy, this is a tough essay question.

-You can do it.

And if you need help with it,

just call my homework hotline,

and we'll hook you up.

How can I ever thank you?

Well, we are here,

and the room is paid for.

Oh.

[screaming]

[telephone rings]

Good morning. This is the special

Saturday edition homework hotline.

Now, remember, it's $.

a call five days a week,

and on Saturdays, triple.

How may I help you?

For any points,

the distance equals the square root

of x squared plus y minus y squared.

You're done.

Speak.

Marcus, I got a complaint to make.

And I'd love to hear it,

but we're experiencing an unusually

heavy volume of calls right now.

But this is serious.

I got a D minus on my math midterm.

This homework service is bogus.

It's whack.

Hey, man, we gave you

the correct answers to your homework.

Yeah, but you didn't tell me

how you got the answers,

and then I had to take the test.

I had no idea what I was doing,

so I tried to call you during the test,

but Mr. Freedland,

he took my cell phone away.

Look, man, we told you up front, okay?

"Homework help line makes no guarantees,

"real or implied, about subsequent

performance on tests,

exams, and/or quizzes."

"Your actual grades may vary."

Don't worry, Mackey.

You'll get a full refund.

-Say what?

-And because of our commitment to quality,

your next two calls are free.

-You can't do that!

-Three calls.

Three calls is more than fair.

Thanks, Mr. Henderson.

Wow. Three calls.

Hey, Dad, come to see the operation?

Come to put this operation back on track.

Now, you all are going

to run this business

the way you did before

you lost your minds.

So we're gonna take out

this line, and this line,

and this line, and this line.

But now we only have one line.

That's right, one line.

One call at a time.

Full service. Help the kids.

What are we supposed

to do while T.J.'s on the phone?

Shh. I wouldn't call attention

to how unnecessary

you are to this whole project.

Right.

Oh, hey, Yvette.

Looks like I'm gonna be

off work a little early,

so if you want to get together sooner...

Oh, yeah, about that...

um, I know I've been

acting strange lately,

but it's because I've been

having these dreams

about you and me getting married.

You've been dreaming about me?

Yeah, and I thought that it meant

that there might be something between us

that I was subconsciously repressing.

I should say so.

But, see, last night I finally got

to the end of the dream,

and I realized it wasn't about

you and me getting married at all.

It was about me only applying

to safe colleges,

when Princeton

is where I really want to go.

So now we don't have to go out.

Oh, okay. Now I'm lost.

Well... you see,

dreams are full of symbolism,

and marriage represented commitment,

the commitment I was

afraid to make to Princeton

for fear of being rejected.

So since you were marrying me,

then I represented Princeton?

Actually...

Yes, you were my Princeton.

Oh. Okay. So I represented

one of them really difficult

Ivy league top colleges

somewhere up in Maine

where all of the smarty-arties go.

Yes, you did. Up in Maine.

-You're lying, aren't you?

-Yes, I am.

I was the safe school, wasn't I?

Uh-huh.

I thought so. Safe old Mo.

But, see, playing it safe when it comes

to going to college, that's not good.

But the fact that I feel safe

with you as a person,

that is good.

You're reaching, aren't you?

Yes, I am. But I'm doing it

from the heart. Was it working?

Maybe. Do you ever go out

to dinner with a safe guy?

I do.

But first I have to ask the safe guy

to take me to the post office

so I can mail my application.

-Alright.

-Thank you.

You know, there's another side of me

that you don't even know about,

a side that can be real dangerous.

-Take your hand off my butt.

-Yes, ma'am.

I was having these dreams

where I married Mo,

and it seemed like I was settling.

But then I realized it was

really colleges I was settling for.

But then I realized it wasn't even

colleges I was settling for, it was Mo.

I mean, why should I marry Mo

when the one person I really loved,

I mean, the person I've loved all along,

the person I've been harboring

deep unrequited desires

for is you, only you?

Oh, yeah.

[clapper]

I'm never working for this guy again.