13x20 - Friendiversary/Mandatory Music

[bunniefuu]

- Are you ready, kids?

kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- I can't hear you.

kids:
Aye, aye, Captain!

- ♪ Ohh... ♪

♪ Who lives in a pineapple
under the sea? ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Absorbent and yellow
and porous is he ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ If nautical nonsense
be something you wish ♪

kids:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

- ♪ Then drop on the deck
and flop like a fish ♪

kids: SpongeBob SquarePants!
- Ready?

all:
SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

SpongeBob SquarePants!

- SpongeBob

SquarePants!

[laughing]

[flute plays]

[waves crashing]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [snoring]

[crashing]
Huh?

[gasps]
Intruders.

A break-in.

I knew this can of hairspray
would come in handy one day.

[crashing]

Who's down there?

I have an aerosol can and
I'm not afraid to use it.

[groans]

[screams]
My eyes.

Huh?
Happy friend-i..

- Happy friend-iversary,
Squidward!

[blows horn]

- SpongeBob, what time is it?

- It's one minute
after midnight

on the day
that we first met.

It's all here in
my Squidward memory book.

- What?
- Here's us at camp.

Here's when I moved in
right next door.

Oh, and here's when I got

employee of the month
instead of you again.

Here's one I took
a few minutes ago.

Look at you.
Just like an angel.

- All right, that's it.
[groans]

Get out.

- Okay, see you around, friend.

♪ Friend, friend, friend,
friend, friend ♪

♪ Friend, friend, friend,
friend, friend, friend ♪

♪ Friend, friend-iversary ♪

- Happy friend-iversary!
- [screams]

[groans]
- Remember the first time

I startled you
into this trash can?

- Ah, go away. Go away.
[groans]

- [laughs]
Classic, Squiddy.

[sighs]
Memories.

- Is he here?
Is he here?

[groans]

[sighs]
Not here.

- Hey, Squidward!

Remember that time
I dedicated a song to you?

Oh, you do remember.

- [groans]

Leave me be.
[groans]

[sighs]

[knock on glass]

- Remember the time
I got you these rocket skates?

- Uh, no.

- That's because we're making
a new memory.

- No.
- Happy friend-iversary.

- [groans and screams]

[groans]

SpongeBob?

SpongeBob?

SpongeBob?

SpongeBob?

- [laughs]
- [groans]

[sighs]

Oh, the Kelpie G concert.

Now, that was a good memory.

Huh.

Huh?
"Remember this, Squidward?"

[screams]

- Happy friend-iversary.

- [screams]

Huh?
- Remember this, Squidward?

- Huh?
[groans]

- Remember this, Squidward?
- [groans]

- Remember this, Squidward?

- Please, you got to help me.

- Remember this, Squidward?

- Oh, no. Not you. No, no.
[screams]

- Friend-iversary.
Friend-iversary.

- Happy friend-iversary.

[thunder rumbles]

- He remembers everything.

Everything that happened.

Even things that didn't happen.

Maybe even things
that will happen.

[gasps]
Things that will never happen.

If he remembers it, it happens.

Get ahold of yourself,
Squidward.

[groans]

There's got to be a way out.

There's got to be
a way to erase...

An eraser.

I'll erase his memories of me.
[laughs]

[evil laugh]

There's only one more place
he keeps his memories.

- [snores]

- Erase me. Erase me.

- Oh, Squidward,
let's be roommates

and live together forever
and ever and ever.

- SpongeBob?

SpongeBob?
SpongeBob?

SpongeBob?

[clears throat]

Good morning.
- Oh, good morning.

You must be the new cashier.
Nice to meet you.

- I can't believe it.
It worked.

Uh, have we met before?

- I don't think so.
Maybe we can chat later, huh?

I'm kind of busy right now.

- This is the best day
of my life.

- Hmm, you seem weirdly happy
for some reason.

What's going on?

- Last night, I erased all of
SpongeBob's memories of me.

Isn't that wonderful?

- You what?

Are you insane, man?

[grumbles]

- [gasps]

- To keep Plankton from
scanning me mind,

SpongeBob is the only one
who knows the combination

to the secret formula safe.

And because he never wanted
to forget it,

ha attached it to a memory he
had with you, Mr. Squidward.

I want you to un-erase
his memory right now.

SpongeBob!

- Yes, Mr. Krabs.

- Spend the afternoon with
Mr. Squidward here.

He's gonna share some
precious memories with you.

- Oh, no thank you.
I don't know this guy.

He's a stranger.

Confidentially,
he looks a little boring.

- You go with him.
That's an order.

- Yes, sir.

- [growls]

- [nervous laugh]

- So what are we doing now,
new guy?

- We're going to recreate
your lost memories of me,

so you can remember the
combination of Krabs' safe.

- Huh, sounds crazy-pants,
but okay.

- Just do what I tell you.

- [screams]

- Hmm?
- Mm-mm.

- [groans]
- Mm-mm.

Mm-mm.

- [chuckles]
- [growls]

- Huh?

- Mm-mm.

- [screams]

- Hmm, mm-mm.

- [monkey screech]

- [groans]

- [groans]

- [monkey screech]

- [screams]

- [groans]
- Meh.

- All right, if this doesn't
make you remember me

then nothing will.

- Nope, it's just
not ringing a...

[bell dings]
Squidward.

Squidward, I remember this.
I remember you.

I remember the combination
to the safe.

Hooray, hooray.
Hooray-ay-ay.

- Yeah, that's great.
Just stop shaking the...

[screams]

[groans]

- The combination is
three impacts to the right.

- No, no, no, no.
[groans]

My body.
- Five punchings to the left.

- [groans]

- Six stretched limbs
to the right.

- [screams]

[groans]

- And school children
to the left.

- [screams]
- No, wait. That's not it.

Oh, .

Oh, Squidward, I remember.
I remember.

You know, Squidward, there's
something else I remembered.

Yesterday wasn't
our friend-iversary.

It's today!
- No.

No. No!

- Happy friend-iversary.

Or is it tomorrow?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Attention, everyone.

Gather round for a free concert
of beautiful music.

- Oh, a free concert.

- Fantastic.

- And a one, and a two...

[plays clarinet]

- [groans]
- Oh, get me out of here, Chad.

♪ ♪

- Oh, my ears are offended.

♪ ♪

- Oh, hey. Ow, ow, ow.

♪ ♪

- [screams]
- [screams]

♪ ♪

- Hey, hey, what's going on?
Put me down.

Let go of my legs.
My clarinet.

[screams]

Philistines.

- [baby cries]

- [cries]

♪ ♪

- [cats hissing]

♪ ♪

- [groans]

- One, more time.
[inhales]

- Freeze, mister.

- Put the clarinet down
nice and slow.

- Who are you supposed to be?
The music police?

- That's right, fella.

And you are in violation of

section four
of the symphony code.

Reckless playing
of a reed instrument.

- Your clarinet is officially
out of commission.

- What the...

Hey!

- If you want that boot
off your clarinet,

you'll have to undergo
mandatory music reeducation.

- Oh, you got to be kidding me.

Little Flipper Music Academy.

Oh, no. I am not going
to any school for minnows.

[groans]

Hey, you can't degrade me
like this.

- Yeah, that's what
they all say.

- Calling Guard ,
a drummer missed a b*at

at the jazz club on Bebop Way.

- Let's rock and roll.

- I wouldn't be caught dead
sitting in front of this class.

They won't see me back here.
[laughs]

- Good morning, class.

Would everyone please
turn their chairs around?

- Yes, Ms. Sturgeon.
- Huh? What?

Oh, for Neptune's sake.

It looks like we have
a new student

sitting right up front today.

Will you stand and introduce
yourself to the class?

- [sighs]
[clears throat]

My name is Squidward Tentacles
and I've been playing clarinet

longer than you all
have been alive.

- And why are you here,
Mr. Tentacles?

- Because of a court order.

- Court order?
- Squidward got a court order.

all: Squidward got
a court order.

- Hey, stop it.

- Now, settle down, class.

- [laughs]
- Oh, yes.

We have one more new student
joining us today.

- Hello.
I'm SpongeBob SquarePants

and I'm really looking
forward...

Squidward, I didn't know you
were taking this class too.

- [groans]

- Isn't this wonderful?

We're musical classmates.

- k*ll me now.

- To begin, I would like
each of you to play

your instrument to gauge
everyone's skill level.

We'll go around the classroom
one by one.

Fergus, would you start us off?

Good effort, Fergus.
Nellie.

- [groans]

- Interesting technique.

Otto, would you play
a little on your key-tar?

- [groans]

- Hmm. Definitely room
for improvement.

[laughs]
Student SquarePants,

would you give us a taste
of your musical talents?

- Certainly.

[flute playing]

♪ ♪

- [laughs]
- Whoa.

[laughter]

- [groans]

[cheers and applause]

- [groans]
[sighs]

- Excellent nose flute
technique, Mr. SquarePants.

Now, it's time for
Mr. Tentacles

to demonstrate
his musical abilities.

[groans]

- Now, let me show you
how it's really done.

[groans]

- Whoo! Go, Squidward.

- Brace yourselves for you
are about to witness

a stroke of pure genius.
[inhales]

[plays clarinet]

♪ ♪

- [chuckles]
It did sound like

you had some kind of stroke.

The clarinet may be too

advanced for your level,
Mr. Tentacles.

Perhaps you should try
a different instrument.

[plays harmonica]

[flute playing]

[plays guitar]

♪ ♪

- Ow.

♪ ♪

Huh.

♪ ♪

- Uh, maybe you should just
work on your fingering.

♪ ♪

- That's it.

I've had enough
of this nonsense.

[plays clarinet]

♪ ♪

- Must pull music alarm.

[alarm blaring]

all: [screaming]

- Squidward Tentacles,

put down the clarinet before
someone's eardrums get hurt.

- Come and take it, copper.

- He's getting too powerful.
What do we do now?

- Send in the maestro.

[classical music]

♪ ♪

- Huh?
[screams]

[groans]

- Fun's over, bad-toven.
- Huh?

- Up top.

- [chuckles]
- You won't be hurting

anyone with this anymore.

Your villainous vibrato
days are over.

- [whimpers]

I'll never play music again.

- Don't worry, Squidward.
You can take up a new hobby.

Like lint sorting or
competitive thumb twiddling.

Or...
- I don't have any thumbs.

[cries]
- Ah.

Go ahead and give
it a big blow, buddy.

[horn playing]

- That sound.

♪ ♪

- Positively angelic.

- Keep going, Squidward.

You finally found
your instrument.

It was right in front
of your nose all along.

In fact, it was your nose.

- [inhales]

[chuckles]
Excuse me.

- I think we can all agree,

Mr. Tentacles is the most
improved student in the class.

[cheers]

♪ ♪

- What a talent.
- Encore. Encore.

- Whoo. Way to go, Squidward.

Encore. Encore.
- Encore.

[cheering]

♪ ♪

- Ow.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪