01x03 - The Sticky Rice Caper

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

♪ Where in the world
Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

♪ Sandiego ♪

♪ Where in the world
Is Carmen Sandiego? ♪

[Player] Heads up, Red.

I took the liberté of notifying
your ground crew of the change in plans.

[Carmen] Copy that, Player.

Heading for rendezvous
as soon as we lose the looky-loos.

[beeps]

I thought you ditched Interpol
back on the train.

[Carmen] I did.

These stiffs are too slick for Interpol,

but not sleazy enough for VILE.

Hey, Zack, can you shake the tail?

[laughs] I can shake it all night long.

Not your booty. The tail.

We were never here.

Zack, they're coming in hot.

Follow at a safe distance, people!

And no texting while boating.

Player, about that rendezvous.

Three steps ahead of you, Red.

[boat horn blares]

[Player] Three...

Two...

Hang on to your hoodie.

[Player] One.

[Zack] Whoo!

[agent] You, out of the way!

Uh, parlez-vous français?

Move it, now!

Ah! You're saying you don't like
where I parked the barge.

[Carmen] Ivy, your chariot awaits.

Talk about a close shave.

[screams]

[groans]

Sayonara, mon amigos!

All right, sis, bring on the grub.

Whoa, were you not informed
that Operation Picnique a la Parisian

was canceled?

What? Ivy!

You had one little job to do while
I picked up Carmen at the train station.

One!

Rustle up big blocks of tangy cheese
and those long, fresh-baked hoagie rolls.

Yum, baguettes.

Not helping, Carm.

I had my orders, little bro.

Boot the buns and cut the cheese
to save your bacon.

[groans] Bacon?

Definitely not helping.

[Player] So, how long
before you toss them off the plane?

Eh, in-flight entertainment.

- [Carmen] So, we're off to Indonesia.
- Yup.

The Southeast Asian country situated
between the Pacific and Indian Oceans.

And get this.

It's made up of ,-plus islands.

Who knew there were that many
on the planet?

[Carmen] Did you know all those islands

contain the fourth largest
population in the world

after China, India, and the United States?

[Player] That's a lot of mouths to feed.

[Carmen] No doubt the reason
Indonesia produces

million tons of rice a year.

It's their staple food, Player.

[Player] It says here some islands
are home to the Komodo dragon,

the world's largest lizard.

They can grow up to ten feet long!

[Carmen] I'll skip the petting zoo.

But I've always wanted to see
Wayang shadow puppetry.

It's over a thousand years old,

but still performed
at festivals there today.

[Player] The VILE hideout
you're looking for is located on Java,

home to Indonesia's capital city, Jakarta.

[Carmen] I hear it's called
"the Big Durian,"

named after their native fruit.

You know, like New York City's
called "the Big Apple."

[Player] Well, the spiky fruit
may taste sweet and delicious,

but it smells like unwashed gym socks
stuffed with rotten onions.

[Carmen] Well, that stinks.

[laughs] I know, right?
Smelly fruit!

No. Facial recognition scan drew blanks.

[Player] Well, if your new fans
aren't VILE and they're not Interpol,

then who are they?

[Argent] Apologies for the delay,
Inspector Devineaux.

- I came to Paris as soon as I could.
- Perfect timing, Ms. Argent.

Her victim regained consciousness
only moments ago

and awaits us for questioning.

Does it strike you as odd
that Carmen Sandiego

would harm an innocent bystander?

He is a witness, he saw her face.
What more motive would she need?

Do you find it curious
that he had no identification,

not even a train ticket?

The Scarlet Outlaw clearly stole
the poor man's wallet.

That would certainly be
a valid assumption.

Of course it would.
Thank you.

But petty theft seems below the station
of an acknowledged superthief.

Perhaps you should stop interrogating me
and save the questioning for...

our witness?

Where did he disappear to?

According to the ledger,
the subject was released.

What?

By whose authority?

[sighs] Chauffeured limo service.

Sure beats trawling through sewer tunnels
for a jailbreak, eh, mates?

So, what's my next assignment?

Secure the finest éclairs in Paris
for Coach Brun...?

Extraction complete.

Thank you, cleaners,
for mopping up this little spill.

We have Crackle in our custody,
Dr. Bellum.

Shall we initiate
standard debriefing protocol?

Doctor, please,
you spread yourself far too thin.

Pick a screen!

Professor Maelstrom,

I happen to be laser-focused
on a matter of grave urgency right now.

Hmm. That's not it.

Nope. Not that either.

Cute.

Oh, dear, where was that?

Ah, here.

[electronic chirp]

[Bellum] Our intelligence indicates

that the student formerly known
as "Black Sheep"

has departed from Paris
and is currently en route to Java,

where I maintain certain assets.

Troubling news,
considering the damage she inflicted

upon our French hideaway last night.

The Red Rogue does seem on a tear lately.

Fortunately, one of our finest operatives
is currently stationed in the region.

[car engine roaring]

[Zack] I haven't seen
a single drive-through!

- I'm gonna faint from hunger here!
- [Ivy scoffs]

Just think of something
other than takeout, like... stakeout.

- Reminds me too much of meat.
- As in, casing a joint?

You know, like the night
we first met Carmen.

Right!

She was casing the same joint.

Who'd ever guess a South Boston donut shop

would be a front
for a supersecret crime empire?

[gags]

Donuts baked by VILE sure taste vile.

- Blech!
- Ha! There.

You can thank me now
for ruining your appetite.

Right there.

Player's intel was spot-on.

It's a Dr. Saira Bellum R&D lab.

Something tells me
"R" don't stand for "rubies."

And "D" don't stand for "dollars."
Or "donuts."

[Zack laughs] Whoa, Carm.

You're wearing a coat?
In this heat?

It's, like, degrees.

A lady needs her tools.

Plan A: bring out Red Drone.

Red Drone has a visual.

[Ivy] And in she goes.

Wait hold on.
Red Drone's a she?

Red Drone's awesome.
Of course she's a she.

[laser zapping]

[Zack] State of the art!

Hey, how can anyone walk around in there

with laser beams
pointing all over the place?

Nobody's home.

[beeping]

Your turn, Player.

- [Player] Security cams disabled.
- [beeping]

[Player] Back door open.

[Carmen] No guards, no lab techs.

Still warm.

They just left.

[beeps]

Player, up for a fishing expedition?

Casting off.

Who doesn't finish lunch?

Well, more rice bowls for me.

- [munches]
- Zack, these aren't rice bowls.

They're petri dishes filled with rice,

covered in some sort of...
[sniffs]

fungus.

- Dude, like mushrooms?
- [Player] Like spores.

Superspores, to be exact.

Genetically engineered to feed on rice.

I pulled the data from a folder labeled
"Operation Sticky Rice."

- What do you mean "feed on rice"?
- Just how it sounds, Red.

These superspores take to grain
like termites to wood.

According to Bellum's research,

these organisms can wipe out entire crops
in a matter of hours.

A bioweapon.

And if VILE cleared out
because they knew we were coming,

they no doubt took their entire stockpile
of spores with them.

Player, can you pinpoint
any likely targets?

You're surrounded by likely targets.

Indonesia produces million tons
of rice per year, remember?

[Ivy] So, VILE wipes out some rice fields.

Order pizza, problem solved, right?

Rice is Indonesia's staple food.

If crops are destroyed,
its entire population could go hungry.

Way hungrier than I'm feeling now.

So, what can we do about it?
We're not the grain police, we're thieves.

We can see to it Bellum never gets
a chance to use her superspores

by stealing them.

I like it.

But how are we supposed to find
teeny, tiny spores

in a great, big rainforest?

[Zack] Hey, check it out!

Truck tracks.

And we know they just left.

One thing still doesn't click.

What's in it for VILE?

Why would they go through all the trouble

of engineering
some crazy food shortage crisis?

To force a hungry population to buy
VILE brand instant imitation rice,

at inflated prices, no doubt.

They tried to feed it to us
back on the island,

but "vile" doesn't even begin
to describe how bad it was.

[sobbing]

If Dr. Bellum thinks I'll stand by
while she risks people starving

so VILE can make a quick buck...
[laughs]

she has a surprise coming.

[Zack] Carm!

Hmm, I'll take the shortcut.

Something tells me
that was no Komodo dragon.

Hiyasss!

- Tigress. Haven't seen you since...
- Morocco.

The pit.
You broke my glasses.

You didn't protect the face.

You may want to protect yours
before I rearrange it!

Ya!

[screeches]

[grunting]

Carmen's occupied.
I'll take the rear.

[grunts]

[engine roars]

[grunts]

[both grunting]

[Tigress shouting]

- What's in the truck, Tigress?
- Wouldn't you like to know.

Yes, I would.
That's why I'm asking.

[both grunting]

[laughs] Oh! Yeah, baby!

Fruity goodness!

[sniffs] Oh!

[munching]

Mmm!

[Ivy shouts]

Huh?

Sis!

Oh, boy. Whoa, whoa!

[Ivy shouting]

Zack! Whoa!

[Ivy] Help me! Over here!

Ivy, I'm gonna sh**t you a line!

[Carmen] Yah!

[groans]

[Tigress] Now,
about that little nip and tuck.

[Tigress grunts]

[Zack] Ivy!

[grunts]

Ah!

[sniffs, gags]

Oh! Whoa!

What crawled in here and d*ed?

[tires screech]

[both grunting]

Skyrockets!

[Tigress shouting]

- [thuds]
- [groans]

[tires screeching]

[Carmen shouts]

[grunts]

[Tigress] Hmm.

[Player] If Dr. Bellum's bioweapon
requires a launch mechanism,

that would explain
the fireworks you saw in the truck.

[Carmen] Bellum's superspores must be
packed into the pods of the skyrockets.

Player, where would someone go
to see fireworks around here?

[Player] Hmm.
It's not New Year's Eve.

And Indonesians don't celebrate
the th of July.

But there is a Shadow Puppet Festival
tonight not too far from you,

just outside of Jakarta.

Let me guess, bordering a swath
of interconnected rice paddies?

[Player] You're suave and you're psychic.

So, why is VILE sneaking around?

Why not have Tigress find the nearest
rice crop and scatter the spores?

Not VILE's style.

They never operate without a smokescreen,
and they never show their true face.

[Argent] No face, no name,
no fingerprints.

It's as if our witness didn't exist.

Are you trying to rub it in, Ms. Argent?

Because you are doing
a sensational job of it.

We know that he indeed exists

because some faceless, nameless
paper-pusher here at Interpol, Paris,

approved his release.

Then perhaps you were right, Inspector.
The man must have been innocent.

Of course I was right!

Which means the only link I have
to Carmen Sandiego is long gone.

It all seems very strange,

as if details are lurking
just out of view,

somewhere in the shadows.

[Indonesian folk music playing]

[music continues]

[crowd laughing]

[women laughing]

[Player] The fireworks finale
would most likely launch

from behind the main stage.

I'll check it out.

Meantime, Zack, Ivy, keep a lookout
for oversized kitty cats.

We're your eyes in the sky, Carm.

Until someone spikes a face-plant.

[whimpering]

[folk music continues]

[watch beeps]

Dr. Bellum, bioweapons are locked,
loaded, and ready to launch.

Tigress, you know the rules.

Nothing must seem out of the ordinary.

The fireworks must launch as scheduled:

when the puppet show is over,
and not a moment before.

You do realize that means risking
another surprise visit

by Fedora the Explorer, or whatever
she's calling herself these days.

[Carmen] You can call me Carmen.

[Tigress groans]

Name-calling,
another reason I unfriended you.

- [groans, panting] She's here!
- [watch beeps]

Permission to break protocol
and launch the spores.

Dr. Bellum?

- [groans]
- [Bellum chuckles]

I'm sorry, what was that?

[playing discordant notes]

[panting]

[folk music continues]

Hyah!

[Tigress grunts]

- [music stops]
- [man gasping]

[crowd] Aw!

[Carmen grunts]

Carmen?

You al... Whoa!

[whimpering]

[Ivy whimpering, grunts]

All yours, Carm.

Green, bad. Red, good.

[Zack] Naturally.

[roars]

[roars]

[Carmen and Tigress grunting]

[folk music continues]

[crowd] Ooh!

[both grunting]

[shouts]

[crowd laughs, applauds]

[thuds]

[smacks]

[crackles]

[crowd] Aw!

Puppet show's over.

Word of advice?
Don't eat the tainted rice.

[rockets whistling]

The show must go on.

[Indonesian folk music playing]

The bad pods are under lock and key
like you asked, Carm.

Let's get them far away from here.

After we grab a bite.

- Who's up for a rice bowl? My treat.
- [laughs]

- [Zack] Nice job, sis!
- [Ivy] Yeah! All right.

I did my best, but that Carmen Sandiego
is one jumpy 'roo!

Thanks to her,

I am stuck with warehouses
filled with imitation instant rice

and no one to sell it to!

So, Tigress failed her mission, too, eh?

[Maelstrom] Have a seat.

[switch clicks]

Please.

You went to school here, Mr. Crackle.

To fail is forgivable.

But to allow yourself to be captured?

[tsking]

Your misstep could have put
the entire academy at risk.

Well, it... it won't happen again,
I assure you.

[grunting]

Oh, we assure you that it won't.

- [grunts]
- Relax, this won't hurt a bit.

No, please! [whimpers]

Just a light tingling sensation,
then happy days.

- [phone beeps]
- We lost Carmen Sandiego.

Yes, again.

Chief wants us to initiate plan B.

[Indonesian folk music playing]