01x14 - Help Not Wanted/Camp Spirit

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ I'm off to summer camp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ Through nature I will tramp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob will have you screaming ♪

- ♪ While milk is streaming right out of your nose ♪

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa.

Ahh. Ahh.

♪ ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ When nature's calling ♪

♪ You'll see me hauling ♪

♪ I'm hitting the trail ♪

[laughter]

- "Dear Mom and Dad, please send more underpants.

"I ate my last pair and some of SpongeBob's,

"so please send him some underpants too?

Love, Patrick."

Mwah!

Eeeh! Augh!

Nailed it.

- Ahh!

- Oh... [panting]

Aha. Dad.

- Hey, son.

Wah-ahh-ahh!

[gasping]

Ugh!

You're a skydiver now? Cool.

- That would be cool, but I actually just fell

out of an airplane.

- Did you bring my new underpants?

- Sure, why not? Here you go.

- Uh, they're kinda big.

- Don't worry, son. You'll grow into them.

Ah, good old Kamp Koral.

I used to be a camper here.

I'd like to have a look around.

- Oh, that'd be great.

Come on. I'll show you my favorite things.

This is the outhouse I'm always telling you about.

She's a beauty, son.

- [hissing]

- Sorry, Kidferatu.

- This is a ditch I dug.

This is a ditch I filled in.

Oof! - Ahh!

- This is the ditch I keep forgetting about.

- Oh, I dig it.

- Six, yes!

I'll move my boat to the bog of pizza,

collect my lightning card, evolve my mega pet,

cast infinite binding, and that gives me...

Kazamy!

- I guess it's bedtime now.

- What? No.

Today has been so awesome; I don't want it to end.

[both snoring]

- Okay, kids, I think it really is bedtime.

Get up. Come on. Move it along.

- Thank you, Mr. Star.

Good night, Patrick.

Good night, SpongeBob.

Good night, Sandy.

Good night, counselor Squidward.

- Enough with the good nights!

I need my beauty sleep.

[all gasping]

- Let's go, old-timer.

- Night.

- All right, let's go. Let's go.

Don't want to be late for breakfast.

Everybody out of the house.

- Morning. - Ahhh!

[all groaning]

- Dad? Hey, what are you still doing here?

- I had so much fun yesterday I want to do it again.

- Weird. But okay.

[all humming]

- [groans]

- Eww.

[all groaning]

- Oh, no.

Plankton made his Loaded Breakfast Chum Loaf again.

- That sounds disgusting.

I know what to do.

Ahh!

Time for Dad's special Blast Off Breakfast Chili.

[grunts]

[scatting]

- Who are you? Get out of my domain.

- Time for the beans.

- Whoa!

- And my secret ingredient.

- Hey.

[gulping]

[belches]

Oh, boy...

- Hey, get in there, you crazy jumping bean.

- [chomps] - Ahh! Bad bean!

- Stop doing my job for me.

I--wait, what am I saying?

This moron is doing all my dirty work for me.

Ahh.

Cook away, dummy.

- Breakfast chili up.

[all cheering]

- Ohh.

- Yep, here you go.

And there it is. - Mmm.

all: Mmm.

- Delicious.

- [whistling]

- Thanks for the great chili, Mr. Star.

- You're welcome, little lady.

[tummy grumbling]

- What's happening with my tummy?

Ohh. Oh.

Whoa!

Ha. Ohh.

- [belches] - Ohh.

- Ahh. Oh, pardon me.

Ohh. Ooh. Ohh.

[belches]

[laughter]

- Eee!

Whoa. - Uh...

- My turn!

[belches]

[laughter]

- [belches]

[laughter]

[all belching]

Cecil!

- Wow, Dad, everyone loves your expl*si*n chili.

- It's good for your gas t*nk.

[gulping]

[loud expl*si*n]

- Ooh.

[laughter]

- [whistle blows]

Who's ready for sack races?

[together] Sack races again?

- Can we do a rocket boat race instead?

- Absolutely not.

You might hurt yourselves, and it'll be my fault.

I'm not going back to the slammer again!

[panting]

- What?

- Uh, nothing.

Okay, on your marks, get set...

[whistle blows]

[all groaning]

- Let's kick this race up a notch.

[laughs]

- Wow.

- Come on, kids, use that chili fuel and blast off.

- Hmm.

- Whee! Whoa-oh!

- Whoa!

- [gasping]

- Hey. Get back down here.

That's not safe.

[all shouting]

- I guess it does seem safe enough,

and I could use a break.

Eep!

- [whistling]

[gasps]

What the what?

What are you two doing?

I don't barely pay you to lounge around all day.

Where are the campers?

- Take it easy, Eugene.

Cecil has them handled.

- Who is Cecil?

all: Cecil Star! Cecil Star!

Cecil Star! Cecil Star! Cecil Star!

[all cheering]

- Apparently he's the new Camp-Master,

according to that mob of moppets.

- No way.

I'm the Camp-Master around here,

and I'd like to see someone tell me different.

- Hey, Mr. Krabs, um, just so you know, we all voted,

and, um, Mr. Star is the new Camp-Master.

[together] Yay!

- Oh, yeah?

Try telling that to me old navy cannon.

- Hey, old navy cannon.

I'm the new Camp-Master.

- Hey. Get your filthy mouth off me cannon.

Whoa! - Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh!

Spicy.

[belches]

Welp, back to having fun.

all: Yay!

- One way or the other, I'm taking my camp back.

Even if it's the last thing you two do.

- Just accept it. The kids have spoken.

- Well then it's time for some new kids to speak.

[cackling]

- [grunting] There ya go.

- All right, you two.

Remember, we're young and hate everything about Camp Cecil.

- Step up, happy campers.

Later we can recline, but for now we zip-line.

- Uh, zip-line?

How boring.

- Oh, zip lines are, like, for grody old people.

Huh?

- Oooh.

Arrgh.

Ahem.

We should, like, totally tar and feather

whoever planned this lame activity

and reinstate Old Man Krabs, dudes.

- Yeah, I came to camp for something cool and sick,

not this bummer.

- You know, I think the weird kid is right.

Zip lines are over.

- How embarrassing.

- I agree with you kids.

Regular zip lines stink.

But a Camp-Master Cecil zip line is totally sick.

[both gasp]

- And every harness is powered by a super rocket.

Blast off!

- Ahh!

Whoo! Eee! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

- That looks like it could k*ll somebody.

- That looks awesome!

- Out of my way! - Me too!

- Me next!

[grunts] both: Ooh.

- Whew. Goodness you're a big boy.

Time to blast off.

both: Ahh! Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!

- I've never felt so free.

- Cecil really is a better Camp-Master than me.

- I'm....going too fast.

Ahh!

- [laughs]

[together] Whoa! Ahh!

Whoa! Ahh!

Ahh! Ohh!

Ohh! Ahh!

[together] Ooh.

Ahh.

[all cheering]

- Ooh! Ah-ha-ha-ha!

all: Awesome!

- What are we gonna do now, Dad?

- Yeah, Camp-Master Cecil, what's next?

I never want you to leave.

- Hey. It's my mom.

- Hello, honey. Time to leave, Cecil.

You know it's time to wash the GrandPat.

- I'm dirty.

- Oh, well. She found me.

I hate washing GrandPat.

Bye, Patrick. Bye, kids.

- Bye, Dad. [together] Goodbye, Mr. Star.

Goodbye, Mrs. Star. Good bye, GrandPat.

- Whoa-oh! Ha-ha-ha!

- Well, Eugene, you got your camp back.

Happy? - Camp-Master Cecil, come back.

I don't want you to go.

[laughter]

all: Ooh. - Eww, look, a dirty sock.

- It's disgusting.

- Eww.

Wrap it around this here stick.

- Hmm.

- Yah! - Whoa-oh-oh!

Ohh! - Ahh-ahh-ahh!

- Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! Yah!

- Ahh!

I got socked in the face.

Dirty sock launch.

- Whoa! A Sock-a-lipse.

- Ahh...ahh... - I got it. I got it.

I got it. - No, I've got it.

Whoop! [laughs]

Oh, oh. [laughs]

Whoop! [together] Whoa.

- Now this is one dirty piece of hosiery.

[together] Whoa-oh-oh-oh!

- Well that was gross.

And awesome!

- Thank you. I'm Maisie Manes.

- Well, howdy do?

I'm Sandy, and these are my pals, SpongeBob and Patrick.

- How do? - Howdy-doody?

- It's a pleasure to meet you all.

Oh, I see you're playing Soiled Stocking.

Have you tried filling it with mud?

[all gasp]

- Fill a dirty sock with mud?

Why, that would up the filth factor at least tenfold.

both: Eee-eeh-eeh.

- I crave the filth.

[grunting]

Here's mud in your eye.

[laughter]

- I like the way you think, Maisie.

both: Huh?

- Maisie? Hey, where'd she go?

- Maisie? - Maisie? Maisie?

- Hello? - Maisie?

- Maisie? Maisie?

Ahh! Ah-ah-ah-ahh!

- Has anyone seen my fourth... sock.

- Sorry, Mr. Tentacles.

- Yeah, we were just playing soiled sock

with our new friend Maisie Manes.

You ever seen her before?

- I wish I'd never seen you three before.

[mumbling]

- Let's find Maisie.

Maybe she has more ideas for socks.

- Your serve, Larry.

- Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. - Huh?

- Have you seen a girl named Maisie?

- Who? - Whoa!

Oh!

Have you seen a girl named Maisie?

- Nope.

- Whoa!

Has anyone seen a girl named Maisie?

- W-w-w-w-whoa!

- That's two points.

- Whoo!

- Howdy. Have you seen a girl named Maisie?

- Ehh-ehh-ehh-ehh!

[all shouting]

- Wah-ha-ha!

[loud expl*si*n]

- Ohh.

- Ohh!

Whoa-oh-oh!

I can't find Maisie anywhere.

- Me neither, SpongeBob.

- What's all the ruckus out here?

She's not in his pocket.

- Ahh! - Ahh!

Camp-Master Krabs, could you tell us what cabin

Maisie Manes is in?

- [gasping]

How do you know that name?

- She's our new friend.

- Ahh!

She was here today?

- What's wrong, Camp-Master Krabs?

- When I bought this place

I was warned about a g-g-ghost camper.

[all gasp]

Cool.

- Not cool.

If the parents find out that Kamp Koral is haunted

they'll take their boy-os and girl-os away-os.

[sobbing]

- Aww, that is so nice how much you'll miss us campers,

you old softy.

Forget you campers.

I'm afraid your parents will want a refund.

Now that's scary.

- Wh... - [gasping]

- Wow.

- Huh?

[all gasp]

- Wow.

- Good day, friends.

all: Maisie Manes.

both: Ask her. Ask her.

- Ooo...uh...ahem.

- Ask me what?

- Um, w-we heard a rumor that you might possibly be...

a g-ghost?

- I am indeed. - Huh?

- But the proper pronunciation is g-g-ghost.

all: G-g-ghost!

- May I? - Of course.

- Well, banshee my britches.

- Me next. - No, me.

[laughter]

- Would you like to do g-g-ghost things with me?

[together] Y-y-yes.

- Hey. Hee-hee-hee.

Huh? - Oh, boy. Yummy.

- Go away.

This food isn't for you.

It's edible. Hoo-hoo. Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.

What?

Return to me this instant, you impudent edible.

What the...

- Ahh.

- Gah.

- Ahh.

Huh?

- [chuckling]

- Ooh.

- [laughs]

[laughter]

- [grunts]

[groans]

- Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooooh.

Ugh! - Oh.

You all look smashing. Ha-ha!

It's time to fly like g-g-ghosts.

Hold hands, everybody.

[together] Uh-uh-uh...ohh!

- Here we go!

- I feel light as a feather.

[groans]

- Heh-heh-heh.

- Oooh. We are ghosts. - Huh?

[together] Ahh!

- Augh!

- How do you do?

- Peeeerch. - We are ghosts.

- Boo! - Huh?

[laughter]

- Ahh!

Attention, campers, everybody run for it!

There's g-g-ghosts in the camp!

[all shouting]

- Oh, the humanity.

- They've seen the g-g-ghost.

Gotta grab me money and cheese it.

- Hee-yah! Ahh!

- Oh, please, go away, g-g-ghost.

- I'm not a g-g-ghost.

But I do know how to get rid of one.

- You're a g-g-ghost hunter?

- I did a fair amount of ghost breaking in my Goth days.

- Oh.

[together] Oooh. Whoo. Ha!

- Ahh... - Ooh. Oh.

Uh, pardon me for barging in. Toodle pip.

[together] Ahh-ahh!

- All right, g-g-ghost, where did you g-g-go?

Yah!

[cackling]

- Whoa! - Tally ho.

- Boy howdy. Did you see 'em?

We sure scared the heck out of 'em.

I didn't see nothin'.

- Come out, you evil wraith.

- Huh? - Aha!

To all g-g-ghosts who hear my voice,

the spirit net calls, you have no choice.

That's sounds bad.

Maybe you better go, Maisie.

We'll head her off.

- You mean like this?

[laughter]

- Hmm.

Yee-ah!

Where are you, little spirit?

Show yourself.

- [laughs] Here I am.

Boo. Ugh!

- I can see you, Patrick.

- Nuh-uh. I'm a ghost.

- What you are is distracting me.

Now move along. I'm hunting a real ghost.

Huh? Uh, uh, uh, uh.

Got ya!

- No. No. - No.

My good friend Maisie the g-g-ghost has been captured.

- No, campers.

A ghost is not a friend.

They belong in the afterlife,

not in camp.

- Golly, Mrs. Puff, your words

have certainly convinced me.

Okay, bye.

- Wait a second.

Uh-heh-heh.

Gah-gah!

All right, no more Mrs. Nice Fish.

This g-g-ghost jar will put an end to this.

No spirit can escape its pull.

Ghost jar, you're the most jar.

Suck up the spirit wherever it is hid,

then I will twist the magic lid.

- Ahhhhhh!

- Time to give up the g-g-ghost.

- Gah!

Maisie!

- Ha! - Please, Mrs. Puff.

Let her out. It's too cramped in there.

- I don't know. I'm pretty cozy.

- Once a spirit enters a g-g-ghost jar,

they can never escape.

Sorry, kids. This gets buried in a cemetery.

- At least we'll always have the dirty sock

to remember her by.

[blows]

- It's even more gross now.

- She would've loved that.

[all sobbing]

- I do love it. - Huh?

[together] Maisie!

- You got out of the jar.

- Of course I did.

Jars can't hold g-g-ghosts.

We just like to let people believe they can

so they'll leave us alone.

Well, I really must be going.

So many camps to haunt.

But I'll be back.

Toodle pip, my friends.

[together] Goodbye, Maisie. Bye. Pip-pip.

- [laughs]

- Shh-shh-shh-shh.

We're safe now, my sweet moneys.

I won't let that g-g-ghost hurt you in here.

- I wouldn't hurt your money.

- Ahh!

Mrs. Puff! Mrs. Puff! Help!