01x17 - Camp Crossbones/A Jelly Life

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ I'm off to summer camp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ Through nature I will tramp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob will have you screaming ♪

- ♪ While milk is streaming right out of your nose ♪

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa!

Ahh! Ahh!

♪ ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ When nature's calling ♪

♪ You'll see me hauling ♪

♪ I'm hitting the trail ♪

[whistling]

[upbeat music]

- Listen up, y'all!

Our quest today is to get our pirate badges!

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

- Gah, ah!

- You'll be known as Square-Beard.

- Ah, mm. Huh?

Hey. [grunts]

Argh!

- And you're Peg Head Pat!

- [gasping excitedly]

- Wait a minute. Who are you?

- Why, I'm Captain One-Eyed Sandy, of course!

Hwah!

both: Wow!

- All right, you scallywags!

♪ ♪

- Ooh!

- Show me what y'all are made of.

Argh! both: Argh!

- Prepare to have your buckles swarshed!

[grunts and impacts]

- [grunts] [chuckles]

- Avast, mateys!

You're no match for Square-Beard the Pirate!

[laughs]

- Hey, dinghies!

You're interrupting our game! Huh?

Oh--hey!

- S-argh-y. [chuckles]

It looks like we blew your ball down, me hearties.

- [grunts]

- [giggles]

- You could play with my ball, though!

[grunts]

Wah!

- [chuckles] Huh?

- Argh! - [screams]

- Shiver me timbers, buckos!

- [screams]

- Camp Master Krabs is escaping with a chest full of booty!

- I like booty! - I like flying!

Whoo-hoo!

- [grunting]

- Whoa, maybe it's filled with pieces of eight.

- Let's not bring math into this, Sponge-Beard.

- That treasure's ours for the plunderin'!

Whoo-hoo! - Whoo-hoo!

- [shouts]

♪ ♪

- [speaking gibberish]

- [groans]

♪ ♪

- [chuckles]

Ah, right where no one will ever find it.

[chuckles]

- Let's get diggin', me hearties!

♪ ♪

- [grunting]

- Whoa! [giggles]

[metallic clanging]

Doy! - Sorry.

- I think we found it.

♪ ♪

[coughs]

[all grunting]

- Dump that treasure!

♪ ♪

all: [gasp] Oh.

[discordant music]

- Oh!

- [gags]

- Eww!

Those are not pieces of eight.

- I think they're pieces of something Pearl ate.

all: Eww!

[foghorn blares]

[all groaning]

- What in the name of Neptune are you doing?

Why'd you dig up Pearl's dirty diapers?

- They popped our kickball too!

- Hey, I give you a new ball!

- Balls don't bite!

- Huh?

- [growls]

- [screaming]

- He'll get used to it.

- But Camp Master Krabs, we were only trying

to earn our pirate badges.

- Hm? - See?

- Pirate? [echoing]

[seagulls calling]

- [laughing]

- Come on, kid. My shift's over.

Time to go. - Get back, you wandwubbers!

[chuckles] Unh.

No! I want to keep playing piwate!

Wahh!

[crying] I just wanted to keep playing piwate.

all: Aww! - [sobbing]

- Um, heh, uh, Camp Master Krabs, I--

- No! - [whimpers]

- [grunts] No pirate badges!

No pirate can ever step foot on this campground!

[all sigh]

[both sobbing]

- Mateys, don't lose heart.

Pirates never give up!

- Huh? - They don't?

- Course not.

You heard Camp Master Krabs.

As long as our paws don't touch the ground of Kamp Koral,

we can be pirates all we want!

This can be our pirate ship,

and all of Kamp Koral can be our ocean!

Everyone on deck!

We got pirating to do!

- Yeah!

[both cheering]

- [howling]

- [grunts]

[heroic music]

[seagulls call]

- [giggles]

[grunts]

- Mwah! Yep.

[grunting]

Hmm.

♪ ♪

- Ooh! Whoa!

♪ ♪

Boing, doing.

[whistling]

♪ ♪

[bell clangs]

♪ ♪

[campers laughing]

[campers screaming]

- Ooh!

[bell dings] Gah.

Hmmm.

♪ ♪

- [whimpers] Huh?

- D'oh!

Ahh.

[bell clanging]

Nerds ahoy!

♪ ♪

both: Ha!

- We're here for yer booty!

Yeah, booty!

[campers whimpering]

- No, not my bounteous booty!

[kiss] - No, just your badges!

Hi-yah!

[campers whimpering]

- Ha-ha!

- Mm, thank you, mateys.

And don't forget your receipts.

[confused mutters] - Tally-ho!

- Whoa-ah!

♪ ♪

[all giggling]

Ready!

Aim, fire!

- [screaming]

[grunts]

[both gasp]

- Ha, argh!

- Arrgh!

- [whimpers] - Oh, please!

We have nothing here!

- All our assets are in stocks!

- Arrgh!

We don't want your money.

- We want your badges.

Hand 'em over, ya lubbers!

[beep]

[steam hisses]

- [mutters]

- Uh-huh.

- Heh-heh.

♪ ♪

[bell clangs] - Yo-ho!

[swords clanking, shouting]

- Hey, hey!

We worked out hard for those badges!

[bell clangs]

- Arrgh!

[swords clanking, shouting]

- (ANGRILY) Meep-meep, meep, meep!

[all meeping]

- Arrgh!

- Ooh, look at 'em shine like doubloons!

- Ah, a pirate queen could get used to this.

- [grunts] Avast!

There's something scary going on over there!

- Hmm, mm-hmm. I see a flag.

- Not a flag! - I see cannons.

- Not cannons!

- I see Camp Master Krabs' angry bloodshot eyes?

- [screams]

- Hmm? Hmm.

[giggles] Mm.

[dramatic music]

- I said no pirates!

- Captain Krabs.

- Ahoy, me counselor crew!

You, hoist his sails!

- You heard the captain.

- Oh, very good, Madame.

[humming]

- [grunts]

Yeah.

- You, man the cannons! [whistles]

- [grunts]

- You! Eh, never mind.

[heroic music]

- [gasps] It's the Kamp Koral Navy!

Assemble a boardin' party!

- Ah-ah! - Aye-aye, sir!

- We got a humdinger of a battle on our hands!

♪ ♪

- Fire!

[all exclaiming]

♪ ♪

[all cheering]

[bell clangs]

- Let's lasso this bronc, you scurvy dogs!

[grunts]

- Oh.

- Counselors, att*ck! - [grunts]

- [giggles] - Here we go!

- Whoa! [grunts]

[all yelling] Uh?

- Huh? - What?

- Huh?

[all cheering]

- Sorry, I thought we were battling over here.

- Oh, no, no, my mistake.

You stay there. We'll come to you.

Get 'em!

- Yo-ho!

♪ ♪

- Whoa! Yah, yah!

Whoa! Yah-ha!

- [grunts] Huh?

[groans]

- [laughing]

[grunting]

- [giggles] Toodles.

- [screaming] - Waah!

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

- Hah, hah!

[screams] - Yah!

- [sighs]

- Ya-hah!

Hee-yah! - [grunting]

[yelping] - Yow-wee!

- [moaning]

- You campers have been found guilty

of a robbery on the high seas!

- We weren't robbing!

We were just borrowing badges, so we could clean 'em!

- Huh?

- Since we couldn't earn our pirate badges,

we decided to go for our badge shiners badges instead!

- Badge shiners badge?

What gave you that cockamamie idea?

- It's right here in the manual,

right behind the page you ripped out.

- [growls] It don't matter!

I ain't bought any in years.

We're all out!

No shining badges! No pirate badges!

No nothing badges!

[all growling]

[chuckles nervously]

Who wants to earn their no-mutiny badge?

[chuckles]

[all growling]

- [screaming]

- Aah! - Aah!

- Whoa! [campers laughing]

- [grunts]

- There you go, buddy.

- Ahh!

- I'm out of pirate badges again, Captain One-Eyed Sandy.

- You heard Square-Beard!

More pirate badges, Peg Head Patrick!

- [yelling] Oh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Yes, ma'am! Heh.

Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee! [pants]

- [grumbling]

Ha-ha!

[giggling]

- Yo-ho-ho. [bell clangs]

[upbeat music]

- [buzzing]

[chuckles]

[campers laughing]

- Oh.

Whoa, oh, oh.

[sonar pinging] - Atomic batteries to power!

- [slurps]

Turnips to speed!

Yah, dah! [beeping]

- Patrick, you understand the buttons

are only for show, right?

I'm watching you!

All right, SpongeBob.

You control the arm and the net

while I control the craft.

And ready for takeoff!

[exciting music]

- What is that thing? - Wah!

Watch out! - Whoa!

- Gah!

♪ ♪

- Get set for the net.

♪ ♪

[jellyfish buzzing]

How many did I get?

- You almost got a lot of 'em.

Um, almost.

- What is that? - That is so silly.

- [growls] [remote beeping]

[campers laughing]

[campers groaning]

- Not laughing now, are you? [beeping]

Huh? Whoa!

[alarm blaring]

- [screaming] - [whimpers]

Sandy, what is going on out there?

[campers grunting]

- Hey, stop that! My friends are in there!

- Net full! - Oh!

- [gasps] I caught one!

- A jelly!

[both giggling]

- No, a rock.

[somber music]

[both screaming]

[alarms blaring]

- [muffled screaming]

[upbeat music]

- Uh-oh!

[gasps]

[campers screaming]

♪ ♪

[grunts]

- [screaming]

- Abandon fish!

- Hmm. [sighs]

- [sighs]

Sorry I ruined the jelly angler.

I've been trying all summer,

and I haven't caught one jellyfish.

- Yeah.

Uh, maybe you're going about this wrong.

How much do you really know about jellyfish?

- Only what I've read in comic books.

- Well, you should study jellies in the wild!

Get to know their habits, social lives.

You know, real scientific science stuff!

- Ooh! - Here.

- Oh!

- Now, go and live among the jellies.

And record your observations and findings

on this tape machine.

- [whispering]

Thank you, Sandy!

- Pretty soon, you'll be the ocean's

foremost authority on jellyfish

and be catching them right and left!

- Observations!

Whoa! [laughs]

Testing, one, two. [laughs]

Whoa!

[jellyfish buzzing]

- Because of the way they fly, jellyfish could be considered

members of the balloon family.

[soft music]

[grunts]

Oof, ooh.

[jellyfish buzzing]

- I shall now try to imitate their language.

Ahem. Buzz, buzz.

Buzz, buzzity. Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Buzz, buzzity.

- [gasps]

- [whimpers] Ahh!

[screaming]

- [whistling]

- I'm sure Counselor Tentacles won't mind me borrowing

his ballet tights for science.

[grunting]

♪ ♪

Hm-hm-hm, hmm.

Mm. Huh?

Whoa! Phew!

Some air from Sandy's dome should get me floating.

Wah!

Looking like a jellyfish, I can float amongst them

scientifically, unnoticed.

- [muttering] - Buzz, buzz.

- Is that a jellyfish in my tights?

Nah, couldn't be.

[upbeat music]

- [humming]

[jellyfish buzzing]

- Hi, how's it going?

Huh? Aw.

Hi, how's it going?

Aw. Hmm.

Aha!

One way to get closer to wild animals

is to mimic their actions.

I'll try it with these young jellies.

[jellyfish buzzing]

[muttering]

♪ ♪

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

[soft classical music]

♪ ♪

[jellyfish trilling] - Whee!

Whee! Whee!

Whee!

[groans]

Ooh! Hmm!

[jellyfish buzzing]

- They finally accepted me as one of their own!

Buzz, buzz, buzz!

♪ ♪

Ahh!

[moaning]

Oh!

[jellyfish laughing]

- [laughing]

[ominous music]

[laughing]

[screech]

You, big ugly!

Your tentacles are mine!

- [gasps] Patrick thinks I'm a jelly!

[laughs]

- Heh-heh-heh.

Hyaah!

[shouting]

- Ahh!

[grunting]

- [panting]

[grunting]

- [screaming]

[grunts]

- Aha! - [moaning]

- Huh. [grunts]

Ew!

Oh, did I mess up your face like that?

[retches]

Sorry, jelly dude.

Buy yourself something nice. I got to go.

[jellyfish buzzing gently]

- Oh, have you come back to laugh at me again?

[jellyfish buzzing]

Hey, I actually understood that!

- [buzzing]

- Are you serious?

You're really going to show me the ways of the jellyfish?

[jellyfish buzzing]

- Buzz, buzz, buzz!

[laughing]

- [buzzing]

[jellyfish buzz]

- Now that they had accepted me,

I was trained in the ancient art of jelly net evasion

by the master jelly himself, Sensei Buzz Buzz.

- [buzzes]

- [whimpers]

[growling]

Hyai.

Impressed with my technique, Sensei Buzz Buzz dubbed

my style the Pickled Clown.

- [buzzes]

[moans]

- [buzzes]

[zapping]

- But alas, the jellyfish sting

would be my one failure,

for I was not a jellyfish.

I was a jelly fake.

[grunts]

[sobbing]

- [gentle buzz]

- Though the jellyfish sting would elude me,

and I already missed my new jellyfish friends,

I was eager to return to camp and share what I had learned.

- Ha, ha. [gasps]

[glass shatters]

[frantic muttering]

Attention, Kamp Koral! Breaking news!

A strange-looking jellyfish is making its way

to the center of camp!

Drop what you're doing!

Let's all gawk! - Huh?

- Whoa! That's huge.

It's the granddaddy of all jellies.

Roll out the red carpet!

[trumpets playing]

[campers cheering]

- [mutters]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[electricity zapping]

[campers cheering]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Campers of Kamp Koral!

- Amazing! - Oh!

- Wow! - Oh!

- I have just come back from living with the jellyfish.

[campers gasping]

- They have taught me of their ways and their customs.

[dismayed muttering]

- Did they teach you how to sting people?

- Yeah! - Yeah!

- Uh, no.

But they taught me many profound lessons.

- Yeah, yeah.

But did they teach you how to sting people?

[campers cheering]

- Sting! - Sting!

- No. No, I can't.

Look, I'll show you. [sighs]

- Oh. - Whoa.

- [yelling]

- Wait a minute, how did that happen?

I didn't mean to do that!

I'm sorry!

Wait, I'm sorry!

[campers groaning]

- Oh, I'm sorry!

[sobbing]

[somber music]

I have become an outcast from jelly and camp society.

A sponge without a country in the country.

- Dah! You!

- Ah! - Your tentacles are mine!

- Go back, Patrick! I don't want to hurt you!

- Ahh! How do you know my name?

[shouting]

- [babbling]

- [grunts]

- [babbling]

Whoa!

[babbling]

[panting]

[dramatic music]

I warned you, Patrick.

Now I'm gonna have to give you my jellyfish sting!

- Yah!

Do your worst, talking jelly!

- Okay, you asked for it.

[grunting]

Waahh!

Ah! both: Huh?

- I said do your worst.

- That was my worst.

What happened?

- Ah! I believe I can answer that!

You built up a static charge rubbing your tentacles

on the carpet, but then you used it

all up on the other campers.

Class dismissed!

- Hey, Patrick. Sorry I tried to zap you.

- Jellyfish insides look like that kid

with the square pants!

[shrieks]

[dramatic music]

[jellyfish buzzing]

[sonar pinging]

- Pilot to jelly angler. Whatcha doin'?

Aren't you gonna catch 'em?

[both sighing] - Maybe tomorrow.

- [sighs] - I wonder if they remember me.

[jellyfish buzzing]

- [mimics laugh]

[both laughing]

- Ahh!

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪