01x24 - Eye of the Hotdog/Patrick Takes the Cake

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ I'm off to summer camp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ Through nature I will tramp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob will have you screaming ♪

- ♪ While milk is streaming right out of your nose ♪

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa!

Ahh! Ahh!

♪ ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ When nature's calling ♪

♪ You'll see me hauling ♪

♪ I'm hitting the trail ♪

[upbeat orchestral music]

- Spanning the camp...

To bring you a variety of sports.

The whoo-hoo of victory...

- Eh, eh, eh! - Eh, eh, eh!

- [screaming]

- And the boo-hoo of defeat.

- [screams] - Ah, I'll come back later.

- Whoa... Ugh.

- The summertime drama of athletic competition.

- Whoa! - Yeah!

- This is Kamp Koral's "Narrow World of Camp Sports"!

Hell and welcome. I'm Perch Perkins.

On today's program, we examine the life

of camp sports legend Craig Mammalton.

His athletic achievements are well known,

but his journey into greatness starts much earlier.

[heartbeat thumping]

Craig demonstrated an aptitude

for sports at an early age.

Born with an athletic drive, he was bound for glory.

By elementary school,

Craig was not only good at sports,

but at anything involving athleticism.

It was at Kamp Koral where Craig really flourished.

In the Frigate cabin, he found his sports family.

In fact, when his camp counselor

Larry the Lobster was a camper,

he set the record in every event at camp,

until Craig broke them all.

- Larry is proud that Craig broke all of Larry's records.

[grunts]

- Craig thought he had reached his highest peak,

but then he saw an even higher peak

when Kamp Koral announced

its first annual hot dog eating contest.

[chomps] Mm, mmm.

- I found some navy surplus hot dogs under me cabin,

so we had a hot dog eating contest.

- Craig started training immediately,

strengthening his stomach so it compact the food

and make room for more. - [grunting]

- But he wasn't favored to win.

- Because of the stretchiness of my body...

everyone thought I would win.

[all cheering]

- The crowd was evenly split,

rooting for Craig and SpongeBob.

♪ ♪

- [muffled grunting]

♪ ♪

[screaming]

Apparently, I'm mostly out holes.

- But what nobody was expecting

was last-minute entry Patrick Star!

- [chomps] Mm, mmm.

I was late because, at first, I thought

it was who could eat the least hot dogs,

and that was way too hard.

- When SpongeBob lost his hot dogs,

Craig thought his victor was assured...

[buzzer blares]

But he didn't count on Patrick's uncanny gluttony.

[slurps and gulps]

[clock ticking]

[alarm blaring]

- All right, time's up. - [groans]

- In second place, camper Craig!

- That's me!

[cheers and applause]

- And first place goes to camper Patrick!

- Hey, yeah! [laughs]

Oh!

- [laughs] Yeah!

[laughs]

[crowd booing]

- Huh?

- It was harsh.

Craig thought he came in both first and second place.

- Craig had never lost before.

[laughter]

- His mind couldn't register defeat...

until the laughter started.

[laughter]

- You could see the moment that reality set in.

- Huh? - Losing broke Craig.

[glass shatters]

[acoustic blues music]

He had reached the dark hour of his soul,

a place most athletes never come back from.

- [sighs]

- He stopped caring about sports.

He stopped working out.

He even stopped eating hot dogs,

and that's a protein, bro.

- When Craig finally did speak,

it was to tell his cabin mates that he wasn't worthy

of living with true athletes.

He was only worthy of bunking under the outhouse.

- [humming melody]

- But it was a sponge that finally got through to Craig.

- Wait, wait, wait wait, wait, wait!

Ugh!

- [humming melody]

- [sobbing]

- Uh, Craig, I can't go with all that weeping.

Besides, losing was a gift.

It lets you know how great winning is.

You are way more than just one little, old loss.

- Oh, you're right, sponge bro!

Aha! - You're ready!

- [laughing] - And I'm ready too.

[laughs]

- [screams]

- Craig was on the road to redemption,

but the journey out of the dark reaches

of the soul is long and hard.

[together] Bro...

- Thankfully, Craig's friends where there to lift him up

and help him train for the second first annual

hot dog eating contest.

- I had some leftover navy surplus hot dogs

from last week, so the second contest

wasn't costing me a thing. Neither.

[energetic rock music]

- ♪ One dog at a time ♪

♪ I got my eyes on the prize ♪

♪ Got a belly for victory, can't be satisfied ♪

♪ Bring on the brats and wieners ♪

♪ Gonne eat the competition for dinner ♪

♪ I'm gonna eat them ♪

- Yeah! - ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- Craig was back.

He had the eye of the hot dog and was ready to compete.

[bell rings] - [laughs]

♪ ♪

Whoa!

- But what did his rival think?

- I wasn't gonna go easy on Craig.

It wouldn't be fair to my stomach.

[stomach gurgles]

[cheers and applause]

- It was the moment of truth.

Did Craig have what it takes to come back

from last week's defeat?

[both growl]

[stomachs grunting]

- All right, you scallywags,

when the wiener clock strikes :,

you got ten minutes to eat all the hot dogs you can.

Three...

two...

one...

Go!

- And they're off!

Chovy and Harvey are making noble efforts,

but it's clear the real story here

is defending champion Patrick Star

and challenger Craig Mammalton

who clearly has something to prove.

[crowd cheering]

Chovy and Harvey having no chance for first place

compete for the booby prize.

The true weenie warriors are Patrick and Craig,

neck and neck.

One falter, one mistake, and the trophy is lost.

[crowd cheering]

Just as the contest was racing to a finish,

a twist of fate stepped in.

It was right after the camp cook

finished preparing the last hot dogs

when he noticed the expiration date

on the side of the hot dog crate.

- "Do not use

after July th, : p.m."

Hm, that's oddly specific.

Oh, no. That's today!

Three seconds from now!

- [groaning] Huh?

[energetic jazz music]

♪ ♪

[together] Huh?

- Yeah--oh. - Oh?

- [groaning]

- [retching] - [retching]

- [retching]

- [groans]

- Craig knew with one final hot dog,

he could win it all.

[dramatic orchestral music]

- [gasps] - What?

- [grunts]

♪ ♪

[crowd gasps]

♪ ♪

- [grunts]

[clock ticking]

Uh! [grunting]

[crowd gasps] - Oh?

- [grunts]

[whimpering]

[gulps] [sighs]

[bell ringing] - [screams]

- Huh? - Huh?

[crowd cheering]

- [groaning and chuckling]

Ooh.

[retching]

- Huh? - Huh?

[crowd screaming]

- It was pandemonium.

Rancid hot dogs were everywhere.

- Wait, don't eat the--

[retches]

Uh-oh.

[retching] - [retching]

- I don't understand.

We didn't even eat any hot dogs!

[retching]

- It appeared Craig had lost again.

The rules of the contest state,

"If you can't keep your hot dogs down,

you will be disqualified."

- Disqualified? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I thought they were gonna sue me,

so I gave them all a trophy just to shut 'em up.

Wait, you're gonna cut that part, right?

[triumphant music]

Well, what do you know, you're all winners,

or should I say wieners! [laughs]

[together] Huh?

- The gods of sport worked in mysterious ways that day,

but how would Craig take the decision?

- A golden hot dog?

[laughs]

- Ooh.

[laughter]

- [laughs]

All that matters is I gave it my all.

- And that sporting spirit

is why Craig Mammalton will always be

a camp sport legend,

always striving to be the best he can be!

[quirky accordion music]

- Attention, campers,

the mail is here!

- Huh? - Ooh!

- I repeat!

Mail call!

- Huzzah!

The correspondence

has arrived.

[laughter] - Huh?

Hey, you haven't finished my alien autopsy yet!

- [grunts] [speaks alien language]

[all cheering]

- [grunting]

- My mom always said I was a special delivery.

[laughs] - Oh.

- Whoa!

- My mom said "return to sender."

- Oh, every week.

Larry Lobster!

- Ah, adjustable weights.

I'll crank up the heavy.

Ah! Oh!

- Bubble Bass!

- Finally, I made the cover of "Nerdteen,"

and it's the scratch and sniff issue.

[foghorn blares]

[gagging]

Ah, yes, eau de Bubble Bass.

- Sandy! - [chirps]

- Missy! Maisy!

Ooh, that one goes in the dead letter file.

[chuckles] And anchovies.

[grunts]

- Meep.

all: Meep, meep, meep, meep!

- Please, sir, may I have some mail?

- Oh, sure, let's see here.

Here's a box with no name on it.

Take it.

- [gasps]

Welcome to my tummy!

What-- huh?

Huh?

[eerie chattering]

- Can I have a piece? - Can I lick the frosting?

- I'll trade you my baby brother.

- Oh! - Just a smidgen!

A large smidgen!

- My--ah!

- I'll take a slice of that, bro.

- No! [screaming]

You can't have my cake!

- The cake!

[together] Eh?

Eh.

- [screaming]

Uh...

[screaming]

[sighs] Sorry, cake.

That won't happen again.

What a doozy.

I gotta be more careful when I'm--

[screaming]

Oh. Cake? Cake!

[dramatic orchestral music]

- Oh! [gasps]

Aw, cake, you're all right.

Oh, I'm gonna call you Cakey.

Don't you ever scare me like that again, Cakey.

- I'm sorry. - [gasps]

Cakey, you can talk?

- Of course, I have many layers.

[drum sting]

[laughter]

I don't get it.

[stomach grumbles]

My tummy's hungry.

I'm gonna eat you!

- Ooh, ooh, you can't eat me yet.

- I can't? - I'm a dessert.

You have to eat lunch first.

- Well, where am I gonna get lunch out here?

- Hows about that vending machine?

- Huh?

- Twigs, grass, seashells, bag of dir--

ooh, bag of dirt!

Oh. Hey, Cakey, got any change?

- Blech!

- Ooh. [giggles]

[machine sputters]

[laughs]

- I heard something over there!

- Oh, no, the campers are getting close.

They want me all to themselves. We'd better bounce!

[quirky accordion music]

- Patrick, where are you?

- If you're dead, you won't be needing that cake!

- Hey, guys, I found Patrick's trail!

[sniffing]

Hmm...

Hm, huh?

- [slurps] Hm.

That cake is five, maybe ten minutes ahead of us.

- Cake? Don't you mean Patrick?

- You have your priorities. I have mine.

- We'll never find him in this wilderness.

- If you want to find Patrick,

you have to think like a Patrick.

- Uh, does Patrick even think? - Precisely.

Follow my lead.

Doy! Duh, ugh, dee, doy.

- Duh, duh, duh.

[together] Mm-mm-mm.

[together] Doy, duh, doy, duh, duh!

- Uh, duh, duh,

duh, duh, duh, duh.

Oh, I need to get my bearings.

[raptor screeches]

The sun is up there,

and the river is down there.

I know where I am!

I'm in-between!

- [gasps] Patrick!

- Oh, huh?

[together] Cake!

- Huh? - It's them!

I suggest we observe gravity and fall!

[both screaming]

- [gasps] No!

[dramatic orchestral music]

- [groans]

What do we do now?

They're not gonna stop until they get a taste of you,

my delicious friend.

- Then we must take the offensive.

- Great!

Squidward always says I'm offensive.

[flatulence]

♪ ♪

- Oh, I'm worried about Patrick.

- I'm worried about the cake.

- What if something happened?

- Yeah, like the frosting gets a cut.

- And the jelly filling bleeds out!

[all whimpering]

- [gasps] - Oh!

- [gasps] - [whimpers]

[wood snaps] - What was that?

- [chuckling softly] - Huh?

- [whimpering] - [giggles]

- [yelps] - [whimpering]

- [screams]

- [grunts]

♪ ♪

- [whimpers] - [giggles]

- Huh?

Hey, guys...

- Uh, ah. Frosting.

- [chuckles] - Huh?

- [screams]

I've come here to kick butt and save cake!

[grunts]

Hm. Hm.

And I'm all out of butt.

- Just give us the cake, you pink plonker!

- You cake crooks will never leave here!

I've rigged booby traps all around you!

[laughs]

Oh! [screams]

Oh! Ah!

Oh, oh, oh. Ah!

[together] Ooh.

[quirky music]

- [screaming]

[together] Ooh.

- [screaming]

♪ ♪

[screaming]

Sorry. Pardon me.

[screaming]

[together] Oh!

- [screaming] - [screams]

- [screaming]

♪ ♪

[screams]

- Mm, ah. Huh?

- [screaming]

Whoa.

[together] Ooh.

- [groans]

[screams]

[groans]

Hm, hm, hm.

Ah. [screams]

[groans] What?

Ah.

Oh.

[screams]

- Hey.

- [groans] Ready to give up?

- Yeah. [chuckles]

I think we've had enough. - You okay, buddy?

- I found it! I found the cake!

- Let's eat! - Yes!

To the victors go the spoils! - Whoa!

[laughter]

- Spoils is right.

On second thought...

- Maybe we shouldn't... - Uh, fill up on sweets.

- Oh, Cakey! Cakey!

- Oh, Cakey, did they hurt you?

Cannibals! - Yeah.

I guess we lost our heads. - And our appetites.

[retches]

[all sigh]

- Hey, buddy, well, aren't you and Cakey

coming back to camp with us?

- Um, okay.

[tranquil music]

- Uh, hang on, Patrick.

I believe we were both being selfish.

I know you were happy to keep me all to yourself,

and I did love being with you, but...

[cake muttering inaudibly]

- What's he doing with that cake?

- Mm-mm-mm.

- But I was born to be eaten and enjoyed by many,

so I'd like you to do something good.

I want you to share me with everyone.

- What? Oh.

♪ ♪

- We'll always have Kamp Koral.

- We'll always have Kamp Koral.

Hey, guys, want some cake?

- Uh, no, no, no, that's okay. - Enjoy!

- Blech!

[upbeat orchestral music]

- [retches] So dirty,

but so sweet.

- I'm sharing! - Ah!

- Ah! - Huh?

Oh! - Ah!

- [grunts]

- Meep! - Meep!

- Meep!

♪ ♪

- [screams]

[whimpers] - I'm doing something good!

- No, no! - I'm doing something good!

- Oh!

- I'm being unselfish.

- [screams]

- [grunting]

- Hey, kid, oh, boy, am I glad I caught you.

And you still have that cake!

- I'm sharing. Want some, mister?

- No, that cake wasn't for you. It's for the president.

Here you go. This one's for you.

- Ooh.

- Well, are you gonna eat me or what?

- You've got some attitude, Mrs. Pie.

- Of course, I'm crusty!

[laughs]

- [laughs] I don't get it.