01x25 - The Taste of Defeat/Scaredy Squirrel

[bunniefuu]

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ I'm off to summer camp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ Through nature I will tramp ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob will have you screaming ♪

- ♪ While milk is streaming right out of your nose ♪

Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa!

Aah! Aah!

♪ ♪

- ♪ SpongeBob ♪

- ♪ When nature's calling ♪

♪ You'll see me hauling ♪

♪ I'm hitting the trail ♪

- [groaning]

[sorrowful music]

- [humming] - Ooh.

- [whimpering]

- [groans]

- Hmm.

- What are you waiting for,

you little obliviate?

This breakfast slop isn't gonna serve itself...

at least not yet, but I'm working on it.

[laughs] Now scram! - [chatters]

- [laughs]

- [gags] - [whimpers]

- Oh.

Uh. Huh? - [growls]

- Ew. Blech.

[both grunting]

- Hey, stop playing with your food.

I stood over a hot stove for seconds!

So bow down and chow down.

[crash] - Huh?

- Ugh, blech.

- [groans] - [chuckles] Nincompoops.

Hey! - Guh.

Ugh.

[strange music]

♪ ♪

- Waste not, want not.

Yep, a few squirts of the old red dye number ,

and breakfast blue slop becomes lavender lunch slop.

[grunts]

Who's an evil genius?

- You are.

- You're darn right I am.

They may hate my slop,

but I'm the only food game in camp, baby.

High five!

Ouch! - [grumbles]

- Uh-oh. Aah!

- A toast to the evil genius.

- Ew, ugh.

- Ugh.

Even my spoon is rejecting it.

[grunts]

- Hmm.

Huh?

You can't show weakness in front of your grub, SpongeBob.

We're higher on the chain of foods.

You just gotta show it who's boss.

[grunts] Ah...

- Are we really so different, you and I?

- Hmm.

Technically, I'm hungrier.

[gulps]

- You know, if we were in Texas,

we'd be burying this lunch in a shallow grave.

What I wouldn't give for something edible.

- Hmm? Huh?

- Hello.

[gibberish] Grub?

- Huh? Uh-huh.

Hey, that magic stump just told me

it knows where we can find delicious food.

- Well, I'll be flim flam frittered!

What are we waiting for?

[grunts]

- Tallyho.

- [grunts]

- Howdy, friends!

Welcome to my new restaurant, Narlene's Dewslapper Café.

I hope you're ready to strap on your vittle bag.

[panting]

- [speaking gibberish] This way.

- [laughs]

- Huh.

[disappointed groans]

- Everything looks good.

I think. - Hmm, uh,

it's all written in gibberish.

Can you recommend something, Nobby?

- [speaking gibberish]

- Okay--three of those.

- Coming right up.

- [chattering] - [laughs]

- [speaking gibberish]

Ta-da!

all: Ah!

[both laugh]

[upbeat fiddle music]

♪ ♪

- Mm, face-licking good.

- Huh.

Gah. [chomping]

[belches, sighs]

- Mwah. My compliments to the chef.

- Come on, y'all, let's tell the whole camp

about this place.

- Y'all come back now, you hear?

- Uh-huh.

[rooster crows] - [groans]

Come and get--

it? [desolate wind]

Where is everybody?

[triangle dings] Breakfast!

[calm western music]

♪ ♪

No campers.

Huh, well, that makes my job easier.

- No campers means no job,

which means no pay for you and more money for me.

[laughs]

- I need that money for my college fund.

[growls] I gotta find those idiot campers.

Oh, campers, come out, come out, wherever you are.

I have treacle tarts.

Huh? - Oh, oh, ah.

- There goes one of those ungrateful imps now.

Hey!

Wha--

- [chattering]

[both cheer]

- [grunts, exhales]

- [squeals]

- What in the world is this?

That backwoods lummox has a restaurant?

And those putrid campers are screaming for more?

Pfft, better see what all the fuss is about.

[chomping] Huh?

Oh!

[bright music]

[laughs]

It's heavenly.

This can't be happening.

Good food and happy kids?

That's not what summer is about.

I'll put a stop to this.

Time to rain on her food parade.

[laughs evilly]

- Ah!

Ch--ch--ch--chowder!

Hmm? Oh.

- [laughs]

- Mm, hmm?

Oh.

Ah. [grunting] Oh!

What happened to my crackers?

Ah.

[growls]

[barks]

[groans] Hey!

There's something wrong with my chowder.

- Say what now?

[sniffs]

Need more razor clam.

- [barks]

[chomping]

- [screams]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Huh? Aah!

Aah!

- Pinkies out.

[glugs] Ah.

Perfect. - [grunting]

Hmm.

I got it!

If I can't destroy the food, I'll destroy the ambience.

[laughs evilly]

Now go into that sea-billy simpleton's restaurant

and skunk that place up!

[all groaning, growling]

[power glitches] - Huh?

[all yowling]

[laughs] Nice angry skunk snails.

Aah!

[dark music]

Well, this stinks. [sighs]

- One tomato juice de-skunker coming up.

- I need to get those campers away

from that backwoods barbecuer and her gustatory delights.

- [grunts] - Oh!

- Why don't you just take some cooking classes?

- [groans] That's it!

I'll steal her recipes,

and I know just how to do it.

- Glad I could help.

- [grunting] - Oh.

- [grunting]

Now to steal all of her recipes.

[laughs evilly] Wha--

- [humming]

[chaotic music]

♪ ♪

Hmm, needs a little more rosemary.

- [laughs]

- Thank you, Cousin Rosemary.

- Any time, hon.

- [gags]

[vomits, gasps] Sweet hoof and mouth disease.

She is so done for.

[grunts] Hey, campers. [all gasp]

Are you enjoying your delicious food that's not mine?

all: Yes.

- Would you like to see how it's made?

all: Yes.

- Well, then feast your stupid eyes on this.

She's making your precious food with her feet!

- Huh? [all gasp]

[all gag] - Yuck.

- Ew, aah.

This corn is made from corns, and the onions are bunions.

[all gag, scream]

- [laughs evilly] See you back at the canteen, chumps.

[laughs] - [growls]

- Now what do you got to say for yourself?

- Looks like you're footing the bill, Plankton.

- Uh.

[mutters] I can't afford that.

- Oh, really?

- I have to wash all these dishes?

- Hup.

Less talkin', more scrubbin'.

- [pants]

[groans]

[sighs]

The agony of "da-feet."

- I got the cards, fellas.

Get ready to-- [gasps]

- Yeah. [both laugh]

- They're sitting with the Trawler cabin?

Maybe I'll just play a nice game of solitaire instead.

- There she is. Sandy, over here.

- Whoa. - No, this way,

sitting with our friends, chewing the fat.

both: Huh?

- What's wrong, Sandy?

Is it gas?

- Well, I'm ashamed to say it,

but those Trawler campers give me the creeps.

- Are you kidding? The Trawlers are great.

- It's just, well, their very nature seems

to go against everything I know about science.

- Well, that's why I choose not to know anything about science.

[both groaning]

- I mean, just take a gander at that picture

of Kidferatu over there.

He doesn't show up in photos.

That goes against all logic.

- Well, maybe he's just really shy.

- Okay.

But how does Jimmy Blobfish stand upright?

He doesn't have a skeleton.

Not even physics can explain it.

- And have you ever noticed how campers

are always getting caught in Preda-Tory's webs?

This is fun.

- I'm sorry, but those Trawlers make me question everything

I know about the natural world.

- Oh, no, Patrick.

Our friends aren't friends with each other.

What are we gonna do?

Uh, Patrick?

- He's right. This is fun.

We don't hang out enough.

- [snores] - Sandy, are you asleep?

- Wake up! - Oh! Huh? What?

[grunts] What in tarnation is the big emergency?

- Um, it's more of a friend-emergency.

We were worried about our friend

not being friends with our other friends,

so we're gonna have a sleepover at the Trawler cabin.

- Oh, but they're so unnatural.

both: Please?

- I don't know, fellas.

both: Please, please, please, please, please, please, please?

- [sighs] Fine.

If it means that much to y'all, I'll give it a sh*t.

- Thank you. - [chomps]

- Whoa. - [growls]

- Boop. - [groans]

[excited chatter]

[curious music]

♪ ♪

- Oh.

[door creaks]

[thunder crashes] [nervously] Oh, oh.

- Boo. - Aah!

- Don't be scared, Sandy.

Thunder is just the sound of two giants

playing patty-cake.

- Actually, SpongeBob, thunder is the rapid expansion

of air surrounding the path of a lightning bolt.

Science.

- Huh, superstitious.

[old-timey music]

[thunder booms] [giants laugh]

♪ ♪

[creepy organ music]

- Don't that seem creepy to y'all?

Oh! [whimpering]

- Welcome to our parlor.

- Huh? Arachnid!

Whoa!

- Okay, okay, a lady can take a hint.

- Hi, I'm Jimmy.

I noticed you around camp. - Ooh.

- Did you just take a sample of me?

- [chuckles uncomfortably] Sorry.

Scientific habit. - [laughs] That's okay.

I've got samples all day long.

- [sighs]

both: Hi. We're the Roxies.

- Oh, uh, howdy.

I can remove that little growth for you.

- She's the growth. I was here first.

[both laugh]

- And of course, our counselor, Kidferatu.

- [hisses]

- [yowls, growls]

[laughter] - Whoo!

- That was good. - Sandy, you're a big hit.

- Oh, you think so?

I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat

in a room full of rocking chairs.

- Don't worry, Sandy.

We'll be with you the whole time.

- Well, I don't see why we can't be friends too.

I mean, since we're all friends

with SpongeBob and Patrick here.

- SpongeBob and Patrick where?

- Uh, oh! Where'd they go?

- They probably went to the bathroom.

[thunder crashes] [laughs creepily]

- Oh. Well, I better go too.

Sometimes they, uh-- they need a little help.

with the paperwork. [laughs]

- The bat room's behind that door.

- Oh. Uh.

Gulp. [whimpers]

[bats screeching]

- Not bat room-- bathroom!

Bathroom's down the hall to the left.

- [laughs awkwardly] I'll be right back.

Oh.

[pants] Huh? Huh?

SpongeBob? Patrick?

Where'd y'all go?

Huh? Oh, how in tarnation

do you get lost in a hallway?

SpongeBob? Patrick?

Where are you?

[door creaks] Huh?

[whimpers]

Aah!

SpongeBob! Patrick!

I'll save you! Hiya!

Wha! [grunts]

Dirty laundry?

- May I help you find something?

- Oh, just l--looking for the bathroom.

- It's not in here, darling.

- [laughs nervously] I'm sorry. My bad.

I'll be going. Whoa! - Hmm?

- Will I be a butterfly soon?

- Shh. - [giggles]

- All right, scaredy squirrel, keep it together.

Don't let your imagination hog-tie your logic.

[door creaks open] Huh?

[whimpers]

SpongeBob?

Patrick?

Oh.

[dramatic music]

- [growls]

- No! It couldn't be!

[gulps] Oh. Oh.

What the cud? A tanning bed?

- [hisses] - Uh, no, thanks.

My fur is a naturally rich golden brown.

[laughs] Aah!

- [sighs]

- All these ding dong dang doors look alike.

[honk] Huh?

Huh?

Oh. Aah, aah, aah!

[screams]

[sighs]

[squelching, bubbling]

Oh, Patrick!

Thank goodness I found you!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! [groans]

Whoa! [yammering nervously]

[grunts]

Ew.

Well, don't worry, buckaroo.

I got you. [straining]

- Hey, new friend.

Get my back?

- Aah! Whoa!

- I love you.

[spooky music]

[giants grumbling]

- Huh?

[squeaking]

♪ ♪

My eyes are playing tricks on me.

- [grunting] - Oh!

- [grunts]

[thunder booms] [grunts]

- [gasps] SpongeBob.

[timer dings] [both gasp]

both: Whoo!

- [gasps] Not Patrick too!

I'm coming, buddies.

[grunting] They're gonna eat us all!

[panting] Oh!

- We've been looking forward to having you for dinner.

We would like you to sit in the chair

reserved for honored guests.

- Huh? - [growls]

- Whoa.

- We have prepared something

that you uniquely would appreciate.

- No. [blubbers]

[laughter] - Ta-da!

- [gasps] I knew it!

Y'all are a bunch of monsters.

- [spits] - [groans]

Huh? Wha--

[upbeat music]

all: Surprise!

- Hominawhat?

- Isn't this fun?

- Hiding under the drapes was our idea.

- To celebrate your new friendship,

the Trawlers wanted to surprise you

with a meal made in your honor--

some mixed nuts and some Swiss cheese,

finely sliced,

a star-shaped acorn cake in honor of your home,

the Lone Star State, Texas.

- I cut the cheese myself.

- [farts] - You and me both, sister.

- Oh. - Embrace the magic, Sandy.

This is fun.

- Well, Sandy, what do you think?

♪ ♪

- [laughs]

I have to admit, at first, I was scared of y'all,

but you guys are a genuine hoot.

I've thought all y'all were really trying to dine on us.

Obviously, you'd never eat us in a million years.

[wolf howls]

- No, maybe not in a million years.

[hesitant laughter]

[eccentric music]

♪ ♪

[laughter]

- You guys are the best.

Next week y'all have to come over

to our cabin for a sleepover.

[laughter]

- I knew you'd like it.

- So we say to the guy, "If that's your severed head"--

- "Then why do we have the receipt?"

[laughter]

- The receipt.

- Would you blathering boneheads

keep it down in here?

I am trying to sleep.

[growls] - [screams]

- It's hideous. - It's horrible.

- It's hideous. - [gasps]

- This is fun!

[Trawlers screaming]

- [laughs] Guess I'm not the only scaredy squirrel in camp.

[Trawlers yelling]

[upbeat organ music]

- I love you.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪