01x06 - Love at First Slight

[bunniefuu]

[PARTRIDGE FAMILY THEME PLAYING]

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singin' ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singin' ♪

♪ Five of us
And Mom working all day ♪

♪ We knew we could help her
If our music could pay ♪

♪ Danny got Reuben
To sell our song ♪

♪ And it really came together
When Mom sang along ♪

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singin' ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singin'
When we're singin' ♪

♪ When we're singin' ?♪

[DOOR OPENS]

Keith?

Oh, I hope they didn't see me.

I hope they didn't either.
You look terrible.

I wouldn't dress this way
if it wasn't necessary.

Uh, let me see.

The weather report said

there'll be percent
chance of showers,

and you're
not taking any chances.

Very funny.

I hope he isn't starting a fad.

Well, look who's here.

It's Harry Hollywood.

Everybody's a comedian.

I've had it.

They just won't leave me alone.

Don't you think you're
getting a little pretentious?

Pretentious?!

I'm just trying to survive.

About girls
followed me home

from school today.

Maybe it's that new cologne
you've been using.

Will you go over to the window
and see if they're still there?

I gotta get to
basketball practice.

Did you say there were
about of them out there?

Yeah.

Well, about of them
must have defected.

For now.

But now they know where I live.

They'll never leave me alone.

What is there
about the teenage girl

that makes her
follow around someone

just because they sing?

Guys don't do that.

It has a lot
to do with sports:

basketball,
football, baseball.

Most girls don't
play those sports.

Right.

That's why they have the time
to follow the guys around.

Who's following who around?

Girls are following
me around.

They're ruining
my whole life!

Aren't you exaggerating
just a little?

You think I'm exaggerating?

Huh, you should have seen
what happened to me today

while I was
registering for classes.

[STUDENTS CHATTERING]

Let's see...

You're taking auto shop.

Auto shop!
Oh, me too!

[GASPS]

Nineteen girls and me
are taking auto shop.

Some of the guys have
even started a petition

to transfer me
into home economics.

They're just jealous.

Yeah? Well, you should have seen

what happened the other day
at the basketball game.

GIRLS [CHEERING]:
We want Keith! We want Keith!

[GIRLS CONTINUE TO CHEER]

I think the coach is
beginning to hate me.

It's probably
just your imagination.

[GIRLS CONTINUE TO CHEER]

I don't think so.

It's not easy

being a sex symbol.

[♪♪♪]

But now that
we're a hit group,

we should make
at least another

half a penny a record.

How about a compromise?

What's your offer?

I'll buy you
an ice cream cone.

Big deal.

Hey, Keith,

did you finish
the arrangement yet?

I'll do it tonight.

Imagine what it must be like
to be a really big star.

The girls must
never leave you alone.

Oh, oh, yeah.

I read somewhere
that Lawrence Welk gets

at least marriage proposals
a week.

All postmarked Sun City.

Too many women, huh?

Yeah.

Yeah, my heart goes out for you,

followed by all those girls.

I'm bleeding inside.

I like you, Mr. Kincaid.
Thanks.

She hasn't developed
a lot of taste yet.

Come on, Tracy,
let's go outside.

Thanks, Danny.
You're a real sweetheart.

Look, enjoy yourself.

Girls are a...

fringe benefit
of the business.

The time to worry is
when they stop chasing you.

That's just what I've
been telling him.

You do like girls, don't you?

Of course,

but one at a time.

Not in groups.

Want me to get rid of them
for you?

Oh, do you think you could?

I'd really appreciate it,
Reuben.

Don't mention it.

That's what
managers are for.

[DOOR CLOSES]

Who is that girl?

You mean you two
haven't met?

No, but we had
some pretty heavy eye contact.

Where'd you find her?

I found her standing
in my azalea bed,

so I asked her in.

She's very sweet.

She has a big crush on you.

[SIGHS]

Cathy...

This is Keith.

Hi.

Hello.

Hey, here
comes somebody.

Who is he?

He looks a little
like my orthodontist.

Everybody be cool.
Just act your age.

Hi.
Can I help you?

We'd like to speak
to Keith Partridge.

Do you want his autograph?

Of course not.

We take auto shop
with Keith,

and, uh, we were wondering

if he had a spare jack
he could lend us.

We have some homework
we wanna catch up on.

I see.

Well, I don't know
if he has a spare jack or not.

He's at the library.

Why don't you go ask him?

We will.
Thank you very much.

Yeah.

[SCREAMING GIDDILY]

No girls ever chased me
to the library.

I wouldn't worry
too much about it, Keith.

Once the girls get
used to your success,

the novelty will wear off.

But what do I do
in the meantime?

Some of the girls
who didn't even like me before

act like they're crazy
about me now.

All I want is a girl
who isn't overwhelmed

with the fact
that we made a record.

They're gone.

Oh, phew.

I'm gonna be late.

I'll see you later, Mom.
Bye, dear.

Gee, thanks a lot Reuben.

Wow, he has problems
and everything,

just like
a real person.

So I've noticed.

You're so lucky
to be his mother.

Thank you.

Tell me something.

When you talk to Keith,
does your throat get all tight?

No.

Wow, you must
have great self-control.

[GIRLS SCREAMING]

Um, can I help you?

No, I'm just browsing.

Oh, well,
you certainly have developed

your own style for it.

Oh, please don't
look at me.

Excuse me?

Don't look at me.

There's a bunch of girls
chasing me,

and I don't want them
to see me.

Oh, well, I'll try
to resist the temptation.

How long have you
had this problem?

You mean the girls?

Yeah, chasing you.

Oh, ever since
the record became a hit.

Oh, I see.

Hey,
what's your name?

What does that
have to do with it?

Oh,
I just wanna know.

It's Janet.

Janet.

Yeah, it fits you.

I'm glad you approve.
I'll keep it.

You don't recognize me?

I'm Keith Partridge.

Um, I'll write
that down.

Then I'm nobody special
to you?

You could put
it that way.

Hey, well,
that's terrific.

Look, would you like
to buy something?

Uh... no,

but can't we meet
after school one day?

I have to work.

Oh, well,
how about a week night?

I have to study.

Well, how about
two years from Wednesday,

a dental appointment?

Look, with all those girls
chasing you,

you certainly don't need me.

Look, I didn't ask
those girls to chase me.

I know how tough things are
for you show business people.

I'm not
a show business person.

Swell. Well, I have
to work now.

Wait.

Does this mean
it's over between us?

Practically.

[WHIRRING LOUDLY]

[YELLING]
How was basketball practice?

What?

[TURNS OFF VACUUM]

How was basketball practice?

Oh, I didn't go.

Why not?

I met a girl.

Is she pretty?

Very... but I didn't
make a very good

first impression.

Well, first impressions
aren't that important.

[SIGHS]
The second one was even worse.

She didn't like me at all.

Well, that happens sometimes.

What do you mean,
she didn't like you?

You're very likable.

Well, for one thing,

she doesn't
like show business people.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

Well, she wouldn't
go out with me,

and she practically threw me out
of the place she worked.

Well,
the best thing to do

is to just forget
about her.

I can't.
Why not?

I think
I'm in love.

Tracy, where did you get
that extra dessert?

Laurie didn't
finish hers.

I told you to finish
everything on your plate,

not everybody else's.

Don't blame me
if this doesn't taste good.

I was expecting you for dinner
at the normal time.

I'm sorry. I was outside waiting
in front of Janet's store.

[TAUNTING]
Keith has a girlfriend!

Keith has
a girlfriend!

I wish.

Keith has
a girlfriend.

That's enough, Chris.

What did she say?

We must've missed each other.

But I thought
you were standing in front?

I was.

She must've ducked out the back.

Do you think
that was a coincidence?

Hi, Janet?

Janet, this is Keith.
Keith Partridge.

Yeah, hi.
Janet, tell me the truth.

Were you trying
to duck me last night?

Uh-huh.

Answer me one more thing.

Do you have
to be so honest?

[RECEIVER CLICKS TO HANG UP]

Hi.

Hello.

How's the
arrangement coming?

Oh,
I forgot about it.

If it's not ready
by the session,

we're in
a lot of trouble.

Do you wanna
talk about it?

The arrangement?

[WHISPERS] The girl.

The whole world knows
my problems.

DANNY: Wait.

Sometimes it helps
to talk these things out.

After all, what's a brother for?

No offense,
but you're years old.

What do you know
about love, anyway?

Nothing.
That's why I can be objective.

[WHISPERS] What's her name?

Janet.

[WHISPERS] Where does she live?

All I know is she works at
a place called The Inner Self.

Is that a meditation group?

No,
it's a woman's underwear place.

I hope this little talk
helped you.

Feel free
to call me any time.

He's so human.

Um, can I help you?

Are you Janet?

Yeah, I'm Janet.

Do you have any idea

what you're
doing to group morale?

What is this,
some freaky new way

to sell Cub Scout cookies?

Keith hasn't been able
to get any work done

since he met you.

It's lousing up
our schedule.

Why won't you go out with him?

Keith Partridge?

I said the wrong thing,
didn't I?

Yeah.

I should've recognized you
for a Partridge.

Keith's
a very nice guy.

I've known him
all my life.

He may not be a great
conversationalist,

but his girlfriends say
he's a terrific kisser.

If you'll just spend
some time with him...

[DOOR CHIMES JINGLE]

I'll never figure out
what Keith sees in girls.

Mrs. Partridge,
what's Keith's favorite food?

Well, that's a toss up.

He likes steak,

but he also
likes meatloaf.

I knew it.

I could tell he was
a steak and meatloaf person,

and I bet
he likes his steak rare.

Well done.

I knew it.

Is there something wrong
with the lettuce?

Oh, no.

I was just thinking,

this might
be a part of his salad.

Well, there's a way
you can find out.

Why don't you have dinner
with us tonight?

You mean it?

I mean it.

Well, I'll eat in the kitchen.

You'll eat with us.

Cathy, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Oh, I think I'm gonna die.

Janet?

Janet, it's me.

Look, if you're trying
to be inconspicuous,

I'm afraid
you're not making it.

Look,
tell me something.

Why do you
dislike me so much?

It's not you...
I just don't like

this whole
show business thing.

What's that
supposed to mean?

Look, Keith,
you don't need me.

You've got a lot
of things going for you.

You just made
a hit record,

you--
you're a terrific kisser...

Wait a minute.
You're cute...

How do you know?
I've never kissed you.

Your brother told me.

I never kissed him either.

Anyway, forgetting about me
should be no problem

if you're so rich
and famous.

I'm not famous.

The only reason people
know me in this town

is because I live here,

and as for being rich,

my family has
a lot of people to support

on our salary.

There are managers,
booking agents, producers,

and they all get
a percentage.

We have a long way to go
before we're rich.

I didn't mean
to insult you

or your family.

It's just that

you're all a little
strange to me.

Strange?

You're calling
my family strange?

Different?

Look, you're way off.

We're as normal as any family
in the whole world,

and if you don't believe me,
come over and see for yourself.

I told you,
I have to study.

What's the matter?
You afraid you're wrong?

No, it's not that.

Then you'll come?

All right, I'll be there.

Mm, that smells delicious.

Do we have enough
for one more?

I think so.

Aren't you gonna
ask me who it is?

Who is it?
Janet.

The girl?
None other.

Congratulations.
Thank you.

I wanna make sure that
everything's all right.

You understand?

I'll add some meat
to the spaghetti sauce.

That's not what I mean.

What do you mean?

Well, I told her
we were a normal family,

not show biz or anything.

I'll try not to burst into song
as I pass the parmesan.

I'm serious, Mom.

Keith, are you trying to tell us
how to act?

No, I just want
everyone to be themselves,

not talk about road trips

or gigs,

and especially not groupies.

Then you may
have a little problem.

That is, if you consider
Cathy a groupie.

Cathy? That girl who's been
hanging around the house lately?

Yes, I invited her
to dinner tonight.

Oh, no.

She'll sit there
and stare at me,

watching every
move I make.

Invite her some other night.

This is important to me.

It's very important
to her too.

If you don't want her to come,
you'll have to go

and tell her yourself.
What's her number?

I don't know.

Where does she live?

Third and Maple,
next to the Gibson's.

Are you really
going to tell her?

Somebody has to.

[CAR HORN HONKING]

Hi.
Are you honking for me?

Yeah.

Come on in.

Well, aren't you gonna ask me
why I'm here?

I can't believe you are here.

Well, I am here.

Look, it's about dinner tonight.

You don't like my salad?

No, no, it's not that.

It's, it's a wonderful salad.

It's worth its weight in...

Salad.

Look, you don't
really like spaghetti, do you?

Oh, it's my favorite,
next to steak or meatloaf.

Oh.

I can't believe
your Mom asked me.

Well, she shouldn't have.

I mean, well, I...

I didn't know you were coming,

so I invited
this other girl.

I see.

Wait a minute.

Well,
I never wanted to bother you,

so I won't come over anymore.

You, you never bothered me,

honest.

I just came by to say that...
well, the other girl is

gonna come late, so...

Could you come

a half hour later?

You mean that's
what you wanted to tell me--

for real?

Sure, I mean,

what kind of guy
do you think I was, anyway?

I couldn't tell you.

I'd be too embarrassed.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[PARTRIDGE FAMILY'S "SOMEBODY
WANTS TO LOVE YOU" PLAYS]

♪ On your own
Far away from home ♪

♪ There doesn't seem to be
A friend when you're alone ♪

♪ People stare
You wonder if they care ♪

♪ So you turn your back
On someone with love to share ♪

♪ Try to see, it's gotta be ♪

♪ Lovin' one another
Is the only possibility ♪

♪ So when you're down
And losin' ground ♪

♪ Don't get to thinkin'
Love can't be found ♪

♪ Hey, stop, stop
And look around ♪

♪ Somebody wants to love you ♪

♪ Stop, stop, and turn around ♪

♪ Somebody wants to love you ♪

♪ Somebody wants
To love you... ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Hey, you, it's nothin' new ♪

♪ Love will be around
No matter what you do ♪

♪ Oh, will you try
Every alibi ♪

♪ And fool yourself some more
Then wonder why ♪

♪ So try to see, it's gotta be ♪

♪ When you turn your back
On love ♪

♪ You miss the opportunity ♪

♪ And once again
You're at a dead end ♪

♪ And nowhere to turn
Without a friend ♪

♪ Hey, stop, stop
And look around ♪

♪ Somebody wants to love you ♪

♪ Stop, stop, and turn around ♪

♪ Somebody wants to love you ♪

♪ Somebody wants
To love you... ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ Ah ?♪

[DOOR CHIMES JINGLE]

Hi.

You're early.

What would you do if I told you

that everything
you said about me was true?

It wouldn't surprise me.

You know, the funny thing is I,
I wasn't a phony

until I started
trying to prove to you

I wasn't a phony.

Uh, do you wanna translate that?

I almost hurt
a little girl's feelings

this afternoon

and practically
told my whole family how to act

just so you'd be impressed.

And is this
supposed to impress me?

No. Just tell me the truth.

You were
coming tonight

because I was a pest, right?

Right.

Uh-huh...

and you never liked me

in the first place,
right?

I tried not to mislead you.

See, I knew it.

It just took me a while,
that's all.

Well, it wasn't that
I didn't like you.

Hey, no,
that's okay, really.

I mean, if everybody liked me,

there'd be no challenge left,
would there?

Maybe I was wrong.

No. Don't change, really.

I want to remember you
just the way you are.

[DOOR CHIMES JINGLE]

LAURIE: There he is,
America's heartthrob.

I can't help it
if I'm so sensational.

I just lost my appetite.

Oh, Laurie's
setting an extra plate.

We're only having
one guest for dinner.

All right.

You're
really something.

That girl thought
it was such an honor

to make a salad
just for you.

Some honor.
Who, Cathy?

How could you do it to her?

I couldn't.

What happened with Janet?

Well, I decided I should
examine why I liked her,

and I realized
that the main reason

was that she didn't like me...

And then I figured
that's not a good basis

for a lasting relationship.

Sounds logical.

You know,
so many girls seemed to like me

because of the record

that I didn't know
who I could believe.

Well, I think
you should trust

your own instincts.

You'll find out
pretty quickly

when a girl likes you
for yourself.

Yeah, I guess so.

Some people are
here to see you.

Oh, who?

Well, you know
those five girls

that have been
following you around?

Oh, no.

It's their boyfriends.

Oh, no!

They said it was a matter
of life or death--

yours.

I'll be back
when they're gone.

Well, you're not
running away, are you?

I've run from their girlfriends.
I'll run from them.

I don't play favorites.

Oh, give it up, Keith.

You can't go on running forever.

[LAUGHS]

You don't know
how to play.

Gin.

See?

No kibitzing.

Three, six, , , .

Hi, Keith.

Hi.

How come
you're not dressed funny?

Well,
looks like I don't

have to dress that way
anymore, Tracy.

The excitement seems
to have worn off.

We need
a hit record.

You didn't
mix them up enough.

No more
autograph seekers?

No, it seems like

they're leaving
me alone.

You look
a little disappointed.

Yeah.

Maybe all the attention
wasn't so bad after all.

It's human nature.

You were unhappy then,
you're unhappy now.

Yeah, but I think this
is a better unhappy.

Gin.

That's impossible.

I told you, you didn't
mix them up enough.

Tracy.

Ten, ...

[♪♪♪]