01x07 - Danny and the Mob

[bunniefuu]

[PARTRIDGE FAMILY THEME PLAYING]

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singing ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ Five of us
And Mom working all day ♪

♪ We knew we could help her
If our music would pay ♪

♪ Danny got Reuben
To sell our song ♪

♪ And it really came together
When Mom sang along ♪

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singing ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ When we're singing ?♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ When the chains around me
No longer ground me ♪

♪ And my soul can sail away ♪

♪ To a better life ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll
Be the day ♪

[TEMPO PICKING UP]
♪ And when the silence

Is broken ♪

♪ And words unspoken ♪

♪ Can finally have their say ♪

♪ Then we'll all sing out ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

[CYMBAL CRASHES]
Hold it, hold it, hold it.

Chris, you keep
speeding up the tempo.

I can't help it.

That light is flashing
faster than we're playing,

and it's messing me up.

REUBEN: Can't you
close your eyes?

Then he'd fall asleep.

Why can't we just
forget the strobe light?

Forget the strobe?

This is Las Vegas.

You have to have
big production numbers,

things happening,
a lot of flash.

Why can't we just
come out and sing?

Just sing?

Do you want to be billed
as a novelty act?

But the strobe

keeps throwing
Chris' timing off.

Okay, okay.

I got a better idea.

I'll put baby spotlights
on each of you.

A pink one
on Shirley, Tracy, and Laurie,

and a blue one
on Keith and Chris.

You didn't
mention me.

You.

Why don't you just

hold a flashlight
under your chin?

Mr. Kincaid,

you're slowly working your way
out of my heart.

You know,
I don't know

if I like the blue
and pink lights.

Well, it will be

like playing
a baby shower.

REUBEN: But you have
to have production.

Something expansive.

Something...

big.

Now, that is a production.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Uh...

can I help you?

Well, I was
just wondering

when you'll be
finished rehearsing.

Okay, g*ng.

That's enough
for today.

We've only
rehearsed an hour.

I don't want you

to burn
yourselves out.

Now, you wanted
to talk to me?

No.

Uh, hi.

I'm Keith Partridge,

the, uh, leader
of the group.

Oh, hi.

I'm LaVon LaVerne.

LaVon LaVerne.

My, that sounds
familiar.

Oh, no,
you're getting me

confused
with the writer,

Jules LaVerne.

Are you ready
to go, honey?

Okay, Mom?

Sure.

She must not like
older men.

Have fun.

He's only .

He doesn't know
how to have fun.

[♪♪♪]

I don't get it.
Why Danny?

Well, there's only
one explanation.

I offended
a gypsy,

and this is part
of his curse.

What's
the big deal?

They just went out
to play.

Yeah, that's the big deal.

Who is she,
Mom?

There's nothing
to get excited about.

Danny's tutoring her,

that's all.

He's tutoring her?

Danny's teaching her
about the stock market.

She wants to invest
some money.

Hmm. I can remember
when it was enough

just being a leader
of a group.

I can remember
when it was enough

just having a pretty face.

The market's
unpredictable now,

but there's a lot
to be said

for marginal gains.

Now, that stock's
gone up three points.

Three whole points.

Lady, why didn't you
leave your kid home?

I feel like I'm watching
Sesame Street.

Oh, no, he's not my kid.

He's my stock advisor.

Oh. Well...

isn't that
carrying the under- thing

a little too far?

Your net profit
is about percent.

I guess that's
acceptable.

percent?

Hey, let me see that.

I'm awfully glad
I met you, Danny.

I really
need the money.

What are you gonna do with it?

Well, I...

I guess I'll go back to school.

Maybe I'll study
marine biology.

I always did like
clams and stuff.

I thought
you were gonna get married.

Unfortunately, that takes two,

and as far
as Harry is concerned,

I am a permanent fiancé.

Maybe he needs a little time.

Cigars.

Cigarettes.

Cigars.

Cigarettes.

I'll give you
a cigar.

Where have you been?

You were supposed
to meet me here an hour ago.

Oh, Harry, I'm sorry.

I was at the stock exchange
with Danny.

You're spending
a lot of time

with that Partridge
character.

What have you two
got going?

An interest in the stock market.

Harry, he's only a kid.

Oh, sure,
I've heard that before.

What I want to hear

is why you and Partridge

are so interested in the stocks
together?

Well, if you must know,

I want to get enough money ahead
to get out of this town.

LaVon, baby, I can't leave here.

I own this joint.

There's this guy
I want you to lean on.

His name is Danny Partridge.

What does, uh,
this gent look like?

I don't know.
I ain't never seen him.

But I do know

he works
in one of the joints up here.

The guy that's made us
decent citizens again.

We would be
very proud

to work him over
for you.

No question.

No rough stuff.

Just scare him.

But scare him good.

But Skee,

are you sure that's
Danny Partridge?

Sure I'm sure.

He's the only one
blowing up a duck,

and that's who
the bellboy fingered.

But he's a mere child.

You think Harry knows?

Of course he does.

That's probably
the reason

why he wanted us
just to scare him.

But kid or no kid,

Harry says
lean on him,

we lean on him.

I guess so.

That's...

the professional
thing to do.

What's the hurry,
Partridge?

We want to talk
with you.

I think you gentlemen
probably want somebody else.

Let me get the desk clerk
for you.

Hey, hey, hey.

[DUCK SQUEAKS]

We got a message
for you, Partridge.

Now, you listen good.

[SQUEAKS]

You're squeezing my duck, sir.

The message is,

stay away from LaVon LaVerne.

But why?

Hey, how do we know?

We don't stick our noses
into other people's business.

Our boss said
stay away or else.

Or else what?

[SQUEAKS]

Got the message?

Mm-hmm.

Another thing.

Don't mention this
to nobody.

We don't want
no innocent people getting hurt,

now, do we?

You know what happens
to tattletales?

[SQUEAKS]

Who said
there's a communication gap?

Please take this
to room .

Well?

Are you sure nobody
can hear us in here?

Absolutely.

[DUCK SQUEAKS]

Now, what's
the trouble?

The mob wants to get me.

That's very serious.

Um, why are they after you?

I'm involved with this girl.

I figure
she's the boss' girlfriend.

How old are you, kid?

I'm .

And you are involved
with the boss' girlfriend, huh?

They told me
never to see her again or else.

Or else what?

Or else...

[SQUEAKING]

that.

I'll tell you what.

I'll make you a deputy,

and the next time
they try

to rough up
your duck,

you can arrest them.

Danny, where
have you been?

Nowhere,

and I didn't talk
to anyone!

Where's
my milkshake?

Uh, they were
out of them.

You've been gone
for over an hour.

Where did you go?

I bet I know.

I bet he snuck out
to see LaVon.

I didn't!
I swear I didn't!

What's the matter
with him?

Maybe he's upset
because he didn't see LaVon.

I know it would upset me.

[KNOCKING]

If it's opportunity knocking,
I don't want any.

Mr. Kincaid,
Danny Partridge here.

Go away.

It's very important.

[MUTTERING]

I lost my money at blackjack,

I lost my shirt
at the crap table,

now I'm losing sleep.

Sorry to wake you.

That's okay.

Okay.

[SIGHS]

What's on your mind?

I can't tell you.

You wake me up at two a.m.

to tell me you can't tell me?

I got an idea.

Why don't you
not tell me

tomorrow?

No, it has to be now.

I think we should
cancel our booking

and leave Las Vegas right away.

Turn down money?

You?

[CHUCKLES]

I'm thinking
of Chris and Tracy.

This is no environment
for impressionable kids.

You don't have to worry
about kids in this town.

It's the adults
that get into all the trouble.

Mr. Kincaid,
if we don't leave town,

I've got a feeling

something terrible's
gonna happen.

Look, kid,

we've got a contract
to fill.

So does someone else.

What?

Oh, nothing.

Mr. Kincaid,
if we can't leave town,

can I ask you one more favor?

Just ask.

The quicker I say no,
the sooner I get some sleep.

I'd like you
to help me write my will.

Didn't anybody
order breakfast yet?

I'm starved.

If you'd
get down here

on time,

we'd all eat sooner.

I'm sorry.

I didn't think
it'd take that long

to finish
that box of candy.

Did you eat
all my candy?

No. Just
what was left.

Tracy!

Where's Danny?

Oh, he said to go ahead
and eat without him.

He's not hungry.

Why? Is something wrong?

No, he's just being
weird, you know?

No, I don't know.

What do you mean by weird?

Well, he was
giving Chris and I advice

about what to do

when he isn't around
to help us anymore.

He told me to be sure
and go to college.

TRACY:
He told me that too,

then he patted me
on the head

like I was a dog
or something.

It was sad,
so I punched him.

You start breakfast.

I'd better have a talk with him.

[DOOR RATTLES]

[KNOCKING]

Danny.

Danny,

why is there a chair
against the door?

Uh, I guess

the wind must have
blown it there.

Are you all right?

Sure, Mom.

Don't worry
about me.

Why is it so dark in here?

Get away
from that window!

What?

Uh, I kind of like
the drapes drawn.

It gives my eyes
a rest.

Honey, is there
something the matter

with your eyes?

Do you have
a headache?

No, I'm fine.
Really.

You don't seem
to have a fever.

Do you have
a sore throat?

No, I'm okay.

Let's talk about you.

Mom,

I'm not gonna be around forever,

so why wait till
the last minute

to be realistic
about it?

Danny.

You've got this weakness

for distinguished-looking
older men,

and I want you
to promise me

that you'll keep your guard up
around guys like that.

Honey, I think

you'd better
lie down and rest.

I'm going to
get Mr. Kincaid

to get us
a good doctor.

I'm not sick.
Really.

You just lie
and rest now.

I'll be back
in a minute.

[KNOCKING]

Danny, go away.

I'm in a coma.

SHIRLEY:
Reuben, wake up.

It's me.

His voice has changed.

It's deeper.

Oh.

I thought
it was Danny.

Danny's the reason
I'm here.

I knew he had to be
at the bottom of it.

Reuben, there's something
wrong with him.

I'm glad you can be
objective,

because I've been
saying that all along.

Reuben,
I really mean it.

There's something
wrong with him.

I know. You know
what I was doing

till five o'clock
this morning?

Helping Danny
write out his will.

His will?

Mm-hmm.

You'll be happy to know
he left you everything.

His stamp collection,
adding machine,

and one share
of AT&T Preferred.

Reuben,
this is ridiculous.

There is
something wrong.

He'd never
part with that.

Well, like he said,

he can't
take it with him.

You know,

Danny started
to act strangely

yesterday.

One of the kids
was teasing him

about sneaking off
to see LaVon,

and he got very upset

and said
he didn't see her.

That would have
upset me too.

I wonder

if she might know
something about this.

That's when I got
this telegram saying,

"My life is in danger,

"so I can never see you again.

Signed, Anonymous."

Do you think Danny
could be "Anonymous"?

He never has been
with me.

I'm going to find out

what this is all about.

Danny, open the door!

I want
to talk to you!

I'm taking a nap.

Good.

At last,
I get a little revenge.

I'm here too,
honey.

Oh, no.

Danny?

He doesn't want
to open the door.

Danny,
open the door.

[DOOR SLAMS]

That was
the other door.

He's gone.

Danny, where are you going?

Come back here!

Danny!

He's running away
from us.

Did you see
the way he looked?

He was scared
to death.

Well, we've got
to stop him.

You take the stairs.
I'll go this way.

LaVon, stay here

in case he comes
back this way.

Okay.

Harry!

Hello, LaVon.

What are you doing here?

The question is,

what are you
doing here?

Danny's mother
called me.

Oh, and you
came over here

to see Danny's
poor, old,

gray-haired
old lady, huh?

Never thinking

that he might
be here,

with his
slicked-back hair

and his fancy talk.

What are you talking about?

I'm talking
about Danny Partridge.

I warned him

to stay away
from you.

I guess now

I'm gonna have
to get chauvinistic.

Chauvinistic?

Danny Partridge
is years old.

[LAUGHING]
Sure, and I was

born yesterday.

Where is he?

I'm gonna
move his nose

up into his molars.

Harry, did you
see that lady

that got
on the elevator

when you got off?

Don't pull
that number with me.

I never seen
that broad before

in my life.

That is Danny's mother.

That lady
was Danny Partridge's mother?

Danny Partridge is years old.

Oh, Harry,

what did you mean
when you said

you warned him
to stay away from me?

Oh...

uh, Skee and Rocco
would have told me

if he was only .

Did you sic
Skee and Rocco

on Danny?

I take
the Fifth Amendment.

You did.

How come
nobody ever believes you

when you take
the Fifth Amendment?

What a terrible
misunderstanding.

We're really sorry.

LaVon says she's
never gonna speak to me again.

That's why we got
to find the kid.

All right.

We get the kid back,

she's got to forgive
and forget, right?

Well, I hope so, Skee.

It's my only chance.

I just got to get her back.

I bet she was
really mad

when she found out.

Was she, Boss?

We had words.

["THAT'LL BE THE DAY" PLAYING]

♪ When the chains around me
No longer ground me ♪

♪ And my soul can sail away ♪

♪ To a better life ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ And when the silence
Is broken ♪

♪ And words unspoken ♪

♪ Can finally have their say ♪

♪ Then we'll all sing out ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ We should be together ♪

♪ Like the sand and the sea ♪

♪ Like the rocks
In the sunshine ♪

♪ Go together ♪

♪ With the grass
on the summer ground ♪

♪ The leaves on the tree ♪

♪ Like the sheep
And the meadow ♪

♪ Go together ♪

♪ Like the words and the music ♪

♪ The honey and the bee ♪

♪ Like the work and the play ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ And when
Those feelings I've hidden ♪

♪ Are no longer forbidden

♪ And our love is here to stay ♪

♪ Then we'll all shine on ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ We should be together ♪

♪ Like the sand and the sea ♪

♪ Like the rocks
In the sunshine ♪

♪ Go together ♪

♪ With the grass
On the summer ground ♪

♪ The leaves on the tree ♪

♪ Like the sheep
And the meadow ♪

♪ Go together ♪

♪ Like the words and the music ♪

♪ The honey and the bee ♪

♪ Like the work and the play ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ♪

♪ That'll be the day ?♪

You're both under arrest.

The police
made me a special deputy.

Are you gonna
go peacefully?

Just tell me one thing.

I have a right to know.

Are you guys
resisting arrest?

We looked all over for him, Mom.

We couldn't find him.

Have you heard
anything?

Only that he
bought an overcoat

in a costume shop.

An overcoat?

Are you sure
it was Danny?

Well, he paid the man,
computed the tax,

and told him he had
change coming.

That was Danny,
all right.

REUBEN:
The kid's on the lam,

he's still counting
his pennies.

Harry,

I hate you.

Even if I love you,
I hate you.

I'm never gonna
talk to you again,

not even to tell you
to go drop dead.

I'm willing
to talk to him.

If it weren't for you
and your cronies,

my son wouldn't
have run off,

frightened to death.

Mrs. Partridge,

this won't do
any good.

Why don't you
save your voice

for the trial?

Oh, Harry.

[KNOCKING]

Danny!

Is that you, Mom?

Uh, as one
respectable citizen

to another,

I think
we better split.

CHAVEZ:
Freeze!

Good boys.

The only place
you are going to

is downtown
with Harry.

What are you gonna do with them?

Take them to jail.

Where they belong.

Wait a minute, Mom.

You see,

Rocco and Skee
told me--

Who?

Rocco and Skee.
My friends.

Your friends?

I thought they
squeezed your duck.

They did,

but they
explained why.

You see, underneath it all,

they're really
respectable citizens.

Thanks, kid.

Very nice
of you, kid.

Danny, I'm still
going to press charges.

Wait a minute, Mom.

I think I've got
a better solution.

And now,
Harry Emerson Starr,

do you take
LaVon LeVine LaVerne

to be your lawful
wedded wife?

I-I do.

I do.

Now, by the authority
vested in me,

I now pronounce you
man and wife.

You may
kiss the bride.

[ALL CHEERING]

Hey, wait a minute.
You just kissed her.

Why are you in line again?

I'm just trying
to find out

what everybody
sees in it.

Aren't you going to
kiss the bride?

No, sir.

I just helped her
with stocks before,

and look at all
the trouble

that got me into.

But you'll hurt
LaVon's feelings.

Better her feelings
than my body.

Haven't you ever heard

of the kiss
of the death?

Danny, you're being silly.

I'm not taking any chances.

I don't want Rocco and Skee
after me again.

[INAUDIBLE WHISPER]

Hey, what are you doing?

I didn't do anything.
Honest!

A big kiss

for the little
squirt.

I've been framed.

[♪♪♪]