01x13 - Star Quality

[bunniefuu]

[PARTRIDGE FAMILY THEME PLAYING]

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singing ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ The five of us ♪

♪ And Mom working all day ♪

♪ We knew we could help her
If our music would pay ♪

♪ Danny got Reuben
To sell our song ♪

♪ And it really came together
When Mom sang along ♪

♪ Come on now
And meet everybody ♪

♪ And hear us singing ♪

♪ There's nothing better
Than being together ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪

♪ When we're singing ♪♪

[PLAYING "SINGING MY SONG"]

♪ Singin' it out to the people ♪

♪ Singin' it out to them all ♪

♪ Singin' my song ♪

♪ And they're singin' along ♪

♪ All of my problems
Are oh-so-small ♪

♪ All of my problems
Are so small ♪

♪ I sing it, um ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-dee-dee-dum ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-do ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-dee-dee-dum ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-do ♪

SHIRLEY:
We're appearing at Stage Seven,

a very chic private club
in Hollywood.

We took this booking

because Danny felt it might
lead to getting publicity,

which is essential
for a musical group,

and Danny was right.

This is Sheila Faber,
a very influential columnist.

She has the power
to generate that publicity.

♪ We can make everything
All right ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-dee-dee-dum ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-da ♪♪

Danny didn't realize it
until later,

but that performance
would teach him a lesson

he'll never forget.

DANNY: Hey, there's
an item about us

in Sheila Faber's
column.

She must've seen
the show last night.

LAURIE:
Who's Sheila Faber?

Who's Sheila Faber?

She's one of the biggest
syndicated columnists

in America, that's all.

What does it say, Danny?

Listen to this.

"Caught a performance
of the Partridge Family

"last night

"and can add my voice
to the enthusiasm

"for this new group that's
sweeping the music world.

"The whole family
has a fresh, wholesome appeal,

but..."

Go on.

Yeah, come on.
What does it say?

Oh, nothing much.

Oh, come on, Danny.

Are we gonna be stars
or aren't we?

Okay.

"But it's young Danny Partridge
who stands out

"as the star of the group.

"His twinkling eyes,
his tousled mop, and impish grin

are absolutely
irresistible."

Come on, Danny.
Stop kidding around.

What does it
really say?

Look, would I lie
about something like that?

"His twinkling eyes,
tousled mop, impish grin..."

Boy, I wonder what
they put in her drink.

"The gifted young charmer

possesses a personal
magnetism..."

Oh...

"and all the unmistakable
earmarks

that spell out
star quality."

Gee, I never
noticed that about him.

Did you, Laur?

No, I never did.

I only noticed
he never takes a bath.

Boy, I can see our
billing from now on.

"Danny Partridge"
in huge letters

and underneath,
in tiny letters,

"and his family."

All right, kids.

Stop teasing him.

He's embarrassed
enough already.

Oh, really?

Well, then why
is he smiling?

He's probably
practicing

his impish grin.

Don't let 'em get to you, Danny.

They're just jealous.

They needn't be.

Personal magnetism is a gift.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, boys,
time to go to sleep.

Will you take me
to the Dodgers' game

this week, Mom?

We'll see.

Frankly, all I want to do
for the next few days

is just flake out.

'Night, sweetheart.

Good night, Mom.

Come on, Danny.

Lights out.

Oh, couldn't I just
finish this chapter?

It's late.

Besides, I want
to go to bed myself.

I'm bushed.

But it's a very
exciting book.

You can read it
tomorrow.

Good night, honey.

Good night, Mom.

Dr. Spock's Baby Book
is a very exciting book?

Uh, it was
the first thing handy.

It's very interesting.

Oh.

This is d*ck Clark talking
from the Partridge Family home.

Earlier today,
news that Danny Partridge

would leave the family group
and work as a single

rocked the entertainment world.

We found him surrounded
by his loving family

and asked him

what brought about
this momentous decision.

Well, I want my family

to be financially
secure.

That's my sole
motivation.

You don't mind
the sacrifice?

Of course not.

It's not their fault

they don't have
personal magnetism

or... tousled hair.

Keith, how do you
feel about this?

Just terribly grateful

I have such
a wonderful brother

with all the
unmistakable earmarks

of star quality.

Thank you.

Mrs. Partridge,
how do you feel about it?

Terribly relieved.

You see,
we were all so very bushed.

EMCEE: And now,
ladies and gentlemen,

the young charmer

you've all paid
$ a seat to see,

but who will donate
his entire fee

to his family,

Danny Partridge.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

For my first number,
I would like to grin at you.

[WILD CHEERING
AND APPLAUSE]

I would like to thank you
for giving me this day,

but I wouldn't have become
the world's best baseball player

unless my brother
had helped me get started

by buying me
the Los Angeles Dodgers

for my th birthday.

Ladies and gentlemen,
my brother Danny.

Danny?
[GROANS]

Are you all right?

Mom, what are you doing here?

That must have been
quite a dream.

What time is it?

After one.

How come you're still up?

I was trying
to balance the budget.

But we've been
making a fortune.

Hardly a fortune,
Danny.

Don't forget,

we have a high overhead
when we're on the road.

Anyway, that's
nothing to worry you.

Good night, honey.
Good night, Mom.

[RINGING]

Yeah.

Danny Partridge here,
Mr. Kincaid.

I've got to talk to you.

Danny, I thought I told you
never to call me here.

Where?

In bed.
Don't you ever sleep?

This is an emergency,
Mr. Kincaid.

Something's happened
that can change your whole life.

Again?

I think you better
get on a plane

and fly out here
right away.

It's not something

we can discuss
over the phone.

Look, kid...

would you put your mother on?

No one in the family
knows about this yet.

That's why
I've got to talk to you.

To plan how to break it to them.

Your voice hasn't started
to change or anything?

No. Nothing like that.

Mr. Kincaid, please come out.

It's really very important,

and there's no one else
I can talk to.

Okay. Okay.

I'll be in tomorrow.

Thanks.

I'll be grateful to you
for the rest of my life...

even if I live to be .

Goodbye.

[CLICKS]

I never should have
dropped out of pre-med school.

At least I wouldn't
have to make house calls.

There you go.

Keep the change.

DANNY: Psst.

Mr. Kincaid.

Over here,
Mr. Kincaid.

I want to talk to you
alone.

Follow me.

Follow you?

Where?

Couldn't we do this
on flat ground?

It's easier to whisper.

This is the best
hiding place.

You promise what I tell
you will be a secret?

Please, kid,

I'm concentrating
on not looking down.

Okay.

Now, why am I crouching
in this tree house?

I wanted you to be
the first to know.

I've decided
to leave the family.

You met a girl.

I've decided
to go out as a single.

Single what?

Performer.

You know, with anyone else,

I'd say, "You're kidding."

But you never kid, do you?

No.

Why do you want to do this?

Because I have

all the unmistakable earmarks
of star quality.

Uh, do...
Do you have that in writing?

Yes.
It's all there.

I want you to know,

I'm not doing this
for the personal glory.

It's for something
much more important.

What?

The money.

It's for my family, of course.

Danny, I think
it's a terrific idea,

except for one thing.

How could your family

ever hope to replace you?

No, it's an impossible task.

That's a good point.

Well, I guess we're gonna have
to forget it, huh?

Don't worry.
I'll come up with something.

Can you stick around
for a couple of days?

Okay.

Hey, Mom, why has Mr. Kincaid
been staying with us?

I don't know, dear.

He said he just happened
to be in the neighborhood

and thought
he'd drop in.

Don't forget to set
an extra place for him.

Well, haven't you asked him
why he's here?

I didn't want
to seem rude.

Maybe he just likes
being around kids.

No, he says kids should be
seen but not tolerated.

Don't let it bother you, honey.

I don't, Mom.

He said it was
nothing personal.

Good morning, Mom.

Good morning, dear.

Did you have
a good night?

Hmm. Not really.

Reuben snores
in a weird key.

You'd snore
in a weird key

if you had
a full-grown dog

sleeping
on your chest.

Reuben, why didn't you
push her off?

I crave affection.

Do you want
to sit by me?

Are you a neat eater?

Pretty neat.

Okay.

He really breaks me up.

Where's Danny?

He said he wanted to be alone
to work on something.

He's been spending
a lot of time on his own

the last
couple of days.

Didn't you ask him why?

Why ruin
a good thing?

Mom, what are all
those people doing

going in our garage?

Why are all those people
going into our garage?

I don't know, but I'm gonna
go in and find out.

No, no, you stay here
and finish your breakfast.

I'll see what this
is all about.

Laurie, would you take the eggs
off the stove for me, please?

I think I'd better
go with you.

[CLARINET PLAYING JAZZ]

[TAPPING
AND CLARINET PLAYING]

Oh, uh, that was
terrific, Billy,

but it's not quite
what we were looking for.

Talk to me later,

and I'll put you in touch
with a good agent.

Okay, next, please.

Danny, what's going on here?

Oh, uh, hi, Mom.

I didn't want you
to find out this way.

Find out what?

Well, you see,

I'm auditioning
for a replacement.

A replacement
for what?

For me.

I put an ad
in the paper.

Reuben, do you know what
he's talking about?

I wanted to break it
to you more gently, Mom.

Break what to me?

Well, you see, I'm not gonna be
with you forever, Mom.

Danny, are you sick?

Couldn't we
get on with this?

Charlene has to be
at her orthodontist

in minutes.

Uh, sure.

Reuben, could you
explain my plan to my mother?

I'll try.
Danny--

I'll talk to you

right after
the audition, Mom.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]
Could we have a little quiet?

Come on, Charlene.

I just don't understand
what's happening, though.

Cut to your
best number.

Relax now.

There's no need
to be worried.

You want to take
your braces off first?

And that's the whole story.

I would have told you sooner,
but he made me promise.

And besides,
it's a delicate situation,

and I didn't quite know
how to handle it.

Well, I do.

Oh?
Mm-hmm.

It's very simple.

We all just wait
outside the garage,

and when he comes out,
we all beat up on him.

Oh, Keith, v*olence
never solved anything.

Do you have
a better solution?

Yes. I think it would be
more effective

if we ostracized him
from his peer group.

What does
that mean?

We stop talking to him.

Then can we
beat up on him?

I hate to
disappoint you, Chris,

but we're not gonna use
any of these solutions.

I'm gonna put a stop to this
whole business right now.

How are you
gonna do that?

I have one big advantage.

I'm bigger than he is.

Shirley, look, I...

I don't know much
about kids,

but I think you may
be making a mistake.

Why?

Well, if you tell him,

he may resent it
for a long time.

Reuben,
when he was years old,

I stopped him
from jumping off the roof

in a homemade parachute.

He resented that too.

Mothers do get resented,
you know.

It goes with the territory.

But this could fester
and affect

his professional performance
with the group.

Well, somebody's
got to stop him.

Yes, but I think it might be
better if he did it himself.

You don't seem to realize
how stubborn my son can be

when he sets his mind
on something.

Will you listen to me?
I know how to handle this.

Now, here's what I think
we should all do.

I want you to know

I'm not doing this
to show off or anything.

Sure. We know, Danny.

Pass the salt,
will you, Laurie?

And I want you
to understand,

I'm doing this
to help all of us, and--

Oh, it's okay. We understand.
I mean, it's no big deal.

It's not?

Would anybody like more milk?

And I don't want you to worry

about finding someone
to replace me.

LAURIE: Oh, we're
not worried.

It's terrific
cake, Mom.

Thank you.

DANNY: I haven't
found anyone yet,

but I'll come up
with someone.

Don't give it
a thought, kid.

We'll dig up someone.

Come on, Chris,
let's go play ball.

I'm real glad
you're all taking it so well.

[BAND PLAYING "SINGING MY SONG"]

That was great, Norman.

KEITH: Hey, that was really
fantastic, Norman.

With you on guitar,

I'll be able to get into some
really heavy arrangements.

Danny could never handle
anything so complicated.

Danny, uh, this is
Norman Farrell.

He's gonna be
joining the group.

Hi, Danny.
Oh, hi.

You play great.

That's nothing.

You ought
to hear him sing.

Yeah, he gives the group
a whole new sound.

What was the matter
with the old sound?

Uh, could we start
at the top again?

Uh, Danny,
do you want something?

No.

You're welcome to stay
and everything.

It's just that, well,
we're pretty busy.

No. I got some work to do
on my own anyhow.

Keith...

I'm not so sure
we're doing the right thing.

He looks so miserable.

I know.

It's working beautifully.

What's the matter,
Danny?

The other kids
giving you a rough time

because
you're leaving?

No. Just the opposite.

They're being terrific.

Well, then, why
the grim face?

Where did you find that Norman?

Oh.

Uh, he cut a couple of singles
for our company

and, uh, I remembered
he was available.

Hey, by the way, uh,
the group is playing

at Stage Seven again
tomorrow night,

and I thought
it would be a great chance

for you to break in your act.

Oh, okay.

Unless you've changed your mind,
that is.

Change my mind?

Why should I change my mind?

Well, I... I don't know.

Working on your own
can sometimes be a bit lonely.

That's a sacrifice
I'm going to have to make,

Mr. Kincaid.

Stardom is a lonely business.

Norman, you can change
over there.

Okay.

Danny, what are you
doing here?

I'm gonna change, of course.

Oh, but the star
dressing room

is down the hall.

Yeah, look, uh,
you're welcome to stay,

but if you're
gonna be a star,

you might as well
start acting like one.

Danny, are you all right?

I wish that lady

had never written
that column about me.

Why not?

It made me realize
my potential.

Is that bad?

Sometimes potential
can be a real burden.

Well, you have a long time
to realize your potential.

I'm just doing it

because we need
the money.

That isn't true, Danny.

You think I'm just doing it
for the glory?

Well, we don't need the money.

You tried
to make yourself believe

you're doing this for the family
when actually

the whole idea of being a star
appeals to you, doesn't it?

Is that what you think?

It's true, isn't it?

I guess so.

It's okay.

There's nothing wrong
with that,

but I think it's important

that you be honest with yourself
and others, don't you?

Good luck, honey.

[SIGHS]

Did you talk to him?
Yes.

You didn't pull any punches?

I mean, it was man to man?

Well, it was more
like mother to son,

but I didn't
pull any punches.

Well, what's he
gonna do?

Is he going on
alone?

I think so.

Oh, but you can't let him
go out there alone.

His... His act
is terrible.

It'll be a disaster.

Poor little guy.

EMCEE: Ladies
and gentlemen,

Stage Seven takes
great pleasure

in presenting

the first
solo performance of...

Danny Partridge.

Uh, good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'm, uh, very happy to be here.

[MURMURING]

The first thing
I'd like to do,

um...

is introduce
some terrific people.

My family.

Danny.

Come on, Danny.

We can't start without you.

Let's go. Quick.

One, two, three, four.

[PLAYING "SINGING MY SONG"]

♪ Singin' it out to the people ♪

♪ Singin' it out to them all ♪

♪ Singin' my song ♪

♪ And they're singin' along ♪

♪ All of my problems
Are oh-so-small ♪

♪ All of my problems
Are so small ♪

♪ I sing it ♪

♪ Um ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-dee-dee-dum ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-do ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-dee-dee-dum ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da ♪

♪ Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ I sing it ♪

♪ Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ I sing it ♪

♪ Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo-doo-doo
Doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Yes, I know ♪

♪ I know
When a heart sinks low ♪

♪ So low, so low ♪

♪ We can turn to one another ♪

♪ 'Cause our love is strong ♪

♪ And we can't go wrong ♪

♪ Um ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-dee-dee-dum ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-da ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba-de-da-dee-dee-dum ♪

♪ Ba-de-dum ba-de-dum
Ba de da ♪♪

Thank you, Norman.

We really appreciate
everything you've done.

That's okay. It was fun.

See you all later.

Goodbye.
Goodbye, Norman.

Goodbye, Reuben,
and thank you.

All in a day's work.

You mean, you knew
all along I'd come back?

Well, let's just say
it was an educated guess.

[KNOCKING]

May I come in?

Sure.

I'm Sheila Faber.

Your son Danny
invited me to watch him perform,

but I was a little late
and I must have missed him.

Well, it was a
very short performance.

Well, anyway, thank you
for inviting me, Danny.

I'm not Danny.
I'm Chris.

Chris?

Oh, I'm sorry, Chris.

I got your name wrong
in my review.

You mean it was
my impish grin

you were
talking about?

Isn't he a delight?

Please, Miss Faber,
we've already done that number.

We certainly have.

Chris, where
are you going?

I'm gonna catch Mr. Kincaid
before he leaves.

Why?

I have something
to talk to him about.

Forget it, Chris.

Believe me,
being a star

isn't quite what it's
cracked up to be.

[♪♪♪]