03x02 - Movie Maniacs

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

[SNIFFING]

[GRUNTS]

[MOE SCREAMS]

What's the idea of kicking me?

I didn't kick you,
somebody kicked me.

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

You suppose
that pudding-head kicked us?

How could he? He's sound asleep.

Certainly I'm sound asleep.

Then how come you're talking?

I'm talking in my sleep.

Whoa!

[ALL GRUNT]

What's the idea?
What's the matter with you?

I never get any rest. Yeah?

Get dressed, we arrive
in Hollywood in an hour.

Ooh, and I can hardly wait.

Will I be a sensation
in pictures.

Mmm.

Come on, get breakfast ready,
Gable. Get out.

You wouldn't hit me like that
if I was Gable, would ya?

No, like this.

Oh!

Oh, Mutiny in the Boxcar, eh?

Get gone!

LARRY: Gee, I sure
will miss this old car.

I wonder who loaned us
their furniture

without knowing it.

The cops get us,
you'll find out.

Hurry up
with that breakfast, now.

[HUMMING]

Hey, get that iron on.

I want my white pants pressed.

I wanna look my best
when I get to Hollywood.

How we gonna get in pictures?

We know nothing about movies.

There's a couple of thousand
people in pictures now

know nothing about it.

Three more won't make
any difference.

Besides, with my ideas...

I'll revolutionize the business.

Hey, fellas,

ain't I getting to look
more and more like Barrymore?

Kiss me, my Caliban.

MOE: Hey, break it up.

You, porcupine.
Come on, press my pants.

I wanna look the berries
when I go into the movies.

Hurry it up. [SIZZLING]

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]

[WHISTLING]

[SQUEALING]

[WHIMPERING]

Oh, boy, it feels great
to be clean.

Hey, did you see a wheat cake?

Don't tell me you lost it.

Yeah, I had it in the pan.

I flipped it up
and it never came down.

Ooh. There it is.

You can have it,
I'll make another.

No, I think
you'd better take it.

Oh, well, I'll make--

Get out! Get out! Oh! Whoa!

[GRUNTING]

[SQUEALING]

[WHIMPERING]

Oh.

Say...

What's the matter?

They're swell.

Put 'em over my arm.

Oh, you like 'em, eh?

Yeah, they--

What'd you do to my pants?

Nothing, I gave 'em
a good pressing.

Oh, yeah, so you did. Yeah...

Good pressing, huh? Oh!

I'll m*rder you. Oh...

[IRON SIZZLING] Whoa!

LARRY: Say, that's hot!

RATH: Yes, that's right.

[PHONE CLICKS]

I'm sorry, Mr. Rath.

I forgot about this wire.

It came last night
after you left.

"In accordance
with our new policy,

"we are sending you Mr. Smith
and his two assistants,

"who will take complete
charge of the studio. Stop.

"You will be under their orders

"and are to give them
your complete cooperation

"in everything
they may wish to do. Stop.

They will arrive
tomorrow at : ."

You idiot. You nearly
got me into a fine mess.

Sorry, sir.

"Tomorrow at : "?

That means today.

Go and prepare an office,
and see that they have

everything
they may possibly want.

Yes, sir. I'll order
three blond secretaries.

Yes--

CURLEY: Gee, that guy was tough.

Let's try this one.

I don't see any watchmen around.

MAN: Hey, hey, hey!

Now beat it and don't try
to get in here again.

This picture business is tougher
to get into than I figured.

Don't worry. A bad beginning
is a good ending.

Certainly.

If at first you don't succeed,

keep on sucking
till you do succeed.

[GRUNTS]

Now, we gotta get
into this studio,

by hook or crook.

Say, you remember how we got
in the circus last winter?

He's got it.

That'll work. You said it.

Come on.

Say, uh,
I'm from the newspapers.

Would you mind posing
for a photograph?

Why, sure.

Thanks. Now look up
at the top of the building

and shade your eyes
with your right hand.

That's fine.
Now raise your right leg.

Hold it. That's swell.

That's beautiful. Swell.

Don't move, now.

What are you doing,
posing for a newspaper ad?

Why, I'm--

It's those three guys.

Watch that gate.

It's about time those
New York executives arrived.

Have you heard from them?

No, sir, not yet.

Well, here we are.

Oh, will I show these guys
how to make pictures.

[CHUCKLING] Gentlemen...

welcome to Hollywood.

I've been expecting you.

Welcome, welcome.

I've received my instructions
from New York.

Gentlemen, the studio is yours.

And I shall do everything
within my power

to help you make
better pictures.

How did you enjoy your trip
across the continent?

All the comforts of home. Oh.

Pinch me, I think I'm dreaming.

Shut up. Act important.

Dear Santa Claus...

What's the matter with you?
[SQUEALS]

Give me that. [SQUEALS]

Good.

There now. Ooh.

Shh.

Gentlemen, will you join us
in a toast?

I don't like toast,

that black stuff gets
in my teeth.

Come on, I'll gouge
your eyes out.

Come on.

A little toast to your success.

Oh, "sodie" pop.

[CHUCKLING]

You can get it open? And how.

I used to be a corker.

Here.

Come here.

Give me that.

Oh!

Camera.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Oh, Marie, you may go.

Come in.

Oh, my darling.

Sweetheart.

At last they're doing it right.

I've dreamed of the day
that we could fly away togeth--

Hiya, fellas, this Swiney's set?

Hmm.

Why, the very idea.

What is the meaning
of all this?!

Who are you?

Hiya, toots.

That'll explain the whole thing.

Do you mind if I continue?

It's all right with me,
but let's get going.

DIRECTOR: Action.
Oh, my darling.

Sweetheart.

Cut, cut, cut. You ain't
sh**ting the picture right.

Why, what's the matter with it?!
There's no action.

It was no good
from the first kiss.

Kiss?! What do you know
about kisses?!

Tell him what we know
about kisses.

[INHALES] That's enough.

Now, uh, stick around
and learn something.

Come here, toots.

You watch me.

That's, uh, sorta
the hit-and-run type.

No, that's not what he wants.
Watch this.

[SNAPS FINGERS]

See? It's a sort of
a stolen base idea.

[GASPS] That ain't it.

With me, it's a sacrifice.

[STAMMERS]

Oh, Mr. Howard...

[SQUEALING]

[WHIMPERING]

[SQUEALING AND YELPING]

Take it easy.
It was a great fight, k*ller.

Come outta here.

Easy, easy. Wait.

Oh, oh, oh...
Say, he's passing out.

Uh, yes. Tell me your name, kid,
so I can tell your mother.

My mother knows my name.

Come on. [YELLING]

What's the matter with you,
wise guy?

Where do you think you are?

All right,
now show these puppets

how to put action
behind their words.

Get yourself all set now.

MOE: Commence.

Oh, my darling.

Sweetheart.

Oh, will ya look
at that, Swiney?

The name is Swinehart, please.

Yeah.

I've dreamed of the day
that we could

fly away from here...

together.

Oh, I bet you tell that
to all the girls.

Ow! Quiet, you.

Just the actions. No words.

Go ahead.

Oh, but alas, we cannot.

I have no money.

Oh, darling,

money doesn't mean everything.

[SNAPS FINGERS]

[SIGHS]

Oh, boy, is that
a scene, Pigheart?

Swine, Swine!

Yeah. Swine, pig,
it's all the same.

Swinehart, Bigheart,
Pigheart, Heartburn.

Who cares?

We'll make it like that.

I quit!

You can't quit.

And why not?!

'Cause you're fired.

You can't fire him.

Why not? He quit.

[YELLS] Oh!

Say, listen. How are we going
to finish this picture?

Now, don't worry about that.

I'll direct the thing myself.

Well, you can count me out.

One, two, three and four is .
The winner.

Get out. Ow!

You're out.

I'm through.

WOMAN: Well, you can
get a new face for me.

I'm through with this nonsense.

Now where are we going to get
a new face for her?

I got it.

The face from the barroom floor.

Pick out two fingers.

One, two. Ow!

[SQUEALING]

Mm. Ahh!

[SQUEALING]

Oh, is that a scene,
or is that a scene?

Yeah...

CURLEY [HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]:
♪ La-la-la ♪

♪ Don't cry My baby ♪

♪ La-la-la-- ♪

He loves me.

He loves me not.

Come in.

Darling, I have come for you.

Sweetheart,

come with me and fly away.

Oh, not that.

[SQUEALS]

You're breaking my heart.

Please, darling. Please.

[WHOOPING]

Ow! Ooh. Ooh.

MOE: Oh...

colossal, terrific.

Aw, man, that was great.

When the boss sees that scene,
will he go nuts.

Here's a wire, sir.

Oh, thanks. Heh.

[CLEARS THROAT]

"Smith plane grounded,
account of fog. Stop.

Will not arrive until tomorrow.
Regards, Burton Fisk Pheasant."

[CHUCKLES]

Well, those three executives
won't arrive unti--

Oh, say, who are
those other three guys?

I-I don't know, sir.

Call that gateman.
Get all the gatemen.

Come on!

MOE: I told you there's
nothing to this picture racket.

We'll show these Hollywood guys
how to make pictures.

Certainly.

What'll we do now?

Think of something.

Come on, use your head.

Ooh!

[WHIMPERING]

I threw them out
once, boss. So did I.

And they tried
to crash my gate too.

Well, you'll have a chance
to throw 'em out again.

I think our genius
ain't appreciated here.

Let's scram.

Ooh! GUARD: Hey!

[CURLEY WHOOPING]

MOE: Come on, this way, boys.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Whoa.

Wait a minute. Shh.
Hey, let's hide in here.

Hurry up and lock the door.

[FOOTSTEPS THUDDING]

Now they'll never find us.

Certainly. We're safe in here.

Just like in our mother's arms.

[GROWLS]

What are ya growling about?

I didn't growl. Not me.

Ooh...

[GROWLS]

[SQUEALING] Oh! Oh! Ooh...

Oh, ah, let me out.

Let me outta here! Let me--

Let's get out of here.

Oh, boy.

Oh! [ENGINE STARTS]

[LION GROWLING]
[CURLEY WHOOPING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[CURLEY WHOOPING]

[LION GROWLING]

[♪]