05x07 - Mutts to You

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

Well, young fella,

we're taking you
to Palm Springs.

How do you like that, huh?

[GIGGLES]

I'll pick him up about , honey.

How will that be? Oh, swell.

I'll have everything packed.
Fine.

Car is ready, sir.

Okay. Bye, darling.

Bye-bye.

Oh, by the way, uh,

be sure and have
the dog washed today.

Yes, sir, I'll take him to
that new place on State Street.

Okay, let's go.

[CAR PULLS UP]

In you go.

[BELL RINGS]

There's customers. A customer.

ALL: Oh!

Come on.

Boy, what a beauty.
Will we clean him up!

Okay, now, take it easy,
no soap in his eyes this time.

[CLEARS THROAT]

There, everything up
in shipshape.

We've got a reputation
to live up to now.

Watch your P's and Q's.
We'll have him spick-and-span.

Everything seems to be
in working condition here.

Go get your equipment on.

MOE: Ready, men?

Contact.

Contact.

Little over to the left.

All right, send it
that way a little now.

Take it away.

Contact, reverse.

MOE AND CURLY: Contact reverse.

You got nothing to worry about.
We'll have you

one of the nicest,
whitest dogs in the world.

Hold it. MOE: Hold it!

Contact.

Take it up.

Take it away.

Are you ready?

Get on your mark. Go.

Right down here, we'll have you
cleaned up in a minute.

[HUMMING]

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello? Step on it!

I'm getting sick
and tired of this job.

I ain't getting anywhere.

Oh!

Whoo-whoo-whoo!

Let it down. Contact.

CURLY: Let it down!

Take it up.

Well, now, let's see.

Hey, get your hat.

Don't go away.

Uh-oh.

Power.

FLEA: Oh, they got me.

Let that be a lesson to you.

Nice work, inspector. Thanks.

Are you ready for me?

Take him away. He's all yours.

Swing it.

Get on-- Go on.

This doesn't look like
Palm Springs.

What are you stopping here for?
To pick up the dog.

But you're not gonna
take that mutt to Palm Springs.

What can we do for you, sir?

Uh, how is my dog coming?
The Dalmation.

The one with the freckles.
That's him.

Ready in a minute. We're putting
the finishing touches on him.

Did anyone ever tell you,
you have pretty paws?

But you shouldn't
bite your nails.

Go get my friend's bill.

I'll show him.

Come on, darling.

We'll get this business
running right--

[CLEARS THROAT] Pardon me.

Heh.

There he is, spick-and-span.

Fifty cents, please.

Looks fine.

Thank you, uh, Mr.--

Pal.

The jackpot.

It's about time.

Wait a minute, wait a minute--
Turn it loose.

South Norton.

MOE: Thanks, Mr. Manning.
LARRY: Call again.

Nothing like
a satisfied customer.

Hey, wait till I lock up.

You want the tools to be stolen?

Where's Mrs. Manning?

Flagged a taxi, sir.
I imagine she's going

to Palm Springs alone.

Oh.

My, my.

Get my key now.

Oh, dear.

No keys.

Now, you be a good baby
while Mama goes around

and tries to
get in the back door.

That's nice.

[PANTING]

Three miles an hour. We ought
to be going faster than that.

You're right.
You know the old engine

ain't what it used to be.

You're telling me.
Listen to that exhaust.

[PANTING]

Hey, you. Come here.

Why don't you close your cutout.

Here. Thanks.

Turn her over.

[PANTS]

Just as I thought,
two cylinders missing.

Sounds like
a carbon knock to me.

Ow!

Say, did you ever
have your vowels ground?

Certainly, with onions.

Yeah, with--

Oh!

Hey, fellas, look.

[GIGGLES]

Why, it's a baby.

Ain't you never seen a baby?

Sure, but what's it doing
out there?

Maybe somebody's
trying to get rid of it.

You mean it's being adopted?

Abandoned, you lug.

And if there's nobody home,
the kid will starve to death.

Go on, get it. I like babies.

I was one myself once.

Ain't he cute?

Come on. We'll take him over
to the police station.

Gonna have him arrested
for loitering?

Go on, put him in.
[BABY SQUEALS]

[CRIES]

I don't know.

It was my idea but
I don't think much of it.

LARRY:
Cute little rascal, ain't he?

Yeah, I'd like to keep him
and raise him up myself.

Nothing doing.

It ain't fair to the kid.

[BABY GIGGLES]

Well, maybe we could give it
some milk before we turn it in.

Kind of fatten it up a little.

[TITTERS]

MOE: Come on, let's go.

Go on, now. You've caused
enough trouble.

Get in your dog house
and stay there.

You better step on it now, Tom.

She's probably halfway
to Palm Springs by this time.

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

Doug Manning!
Bring that baby back here!

If he only knew.

Oh boy, are you gonna
have a feast.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. Quiet.

Shh. He's there.
Hide that thing.

What are you gonna do with that?

Uh, put my hand over it.

Shh. Come on.

Nyuck, nycuk, nyuck,
nyuck, nyuck.

Good evening, Mr. Stutz.

Oh, hello, boys.

STUTZ: What's the trouble?

Oh, uh, nothing.
Could we have our key?

Certainly. Thanks.

[BABY CRIES]

[QUIETLY] Do something.

Did you hear a baby crying?

It's only Curly. He never could
stand green onions.

They get in his hair.
Uh, I mean his eyes.

Come on, scram. Get out of here.

Get the key.

Get the key, please.

Hey, wait a minute.

What on earth
has happened to you?

Uh, something I ate.

[BALLOON SQUEAKS]

[SQUEAKS]

[WHIMPERS]

Wait just a minute,
I think I can fix you up.

[RADIATOR HISSES]

Drink this right down.
It always fixes me up.

Just take it easy
and you'll be all right.

Come on.

Hey, where's Butch?

Shh. [DOOR CLOSES]

Not bad.

[CHUCKLES]

Hiya, Butch,
look what I got for you.

How do you like--?

[BALLOON POPS] [BABY CRIES]

Get rid of him quick,
it's the landlord.

I heard a baby in here.

A baby?

[IN BABY VOICE] It was
itsy-bitsy me you heard talking.

[IMITATES BABY TALK]

Yeah. Now do you see?

I always like to talk baby talk.

Baby want a cr*cker? Oh, yeah.

Ow!

He's spoiled. Oh, yeah?

Well, I'll keep
my eye on you guys.

What's the matter, Butch?

The kid looks tired.

I'll fix his bed.

Hey, porcupine, give me a hand.
Take it easy, kid.

Hurry up.

Here, Butch.

Come on.

Making mufflers, eh?

Well, I didn't want
the baby to catch cold.

Well, if you were over here,
I'd give you this.

[BABY GIGGLES]
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Sleep all right, huh?
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Here, fix the baby's milk.
I'll handle that.

Oh!

Mm!

Hit me when
I wasn't looking, eh?

Backbiter.

MOE:
Hey, fellas. Look it's, Butch.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Hey, we ain't no kidnappers.

We better get that kid
back to his parents.

I got it. Follow me.

Here.

Boy, have I got brains.

What's the idea?

Gonna fool the cops and dress
you as the baby's mother.

I never saw the baby's mother.

She never saw you
either, did she?

No. Well, go on.

Oh! But I don't feel
like a mother.

Good morning, Mr. Mulkayhee.

Well, good morning.

A fine bunch of cops
we have around here,

letting babies get kidnapped
all over the place.

Don't you worry.
We'll have them crooks

behind bars in hours.

Not bad, not bad.

What do you mean "not bad"?
Look at those.

Wait. I'll fix that.

What are they for?

I'm gonna pad him up
with sponges,

and nobody will get wise.
Give me a hand.

They've got a couple
of suspicious characters

down at headquarters.

Picked them up this morning.

Maybe you can identify them.

Right.

[BARKS]

Wait a minute.

[BARKS]

He's all the detective I need.

Follow him
and we'll find the baby.

Ah, the top of the morning
to you.

How are you, Mr. O'Halloran?

I want you to meet my sister,
Mrs. Dennis O'Toole.

She just came over from Ireland.

Oh, Mrs. O'Toole, is it?
From the old sod.

A fine brat
of a boy you have here.

Is he on the bottle yet?

Hm, I should say not. He don't
smoke, drink, nor chew.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, Mrs. O'Toole.

You know, Mrs. O'Toole--
Oh, I beg your pardon.

You remind me of a Carnine
I once knew

in the County Kerry.

CURLY: You remind me of a cop

I once knew in the county jail.

[O'HALLORAN LAUGHS]

Come on over
and see Officer O'Halloran.

Let me see the baby.

Ah, that's a fine brat of a boy.

We better be going, sis,
we'll miss that train.

Yeah, goodbye, officer.

Goodbye, Mrs. O'Toole.
[BABY CRIES]

I tell you now, that--

No, I'll take the baggage car.

Yeah, I wish we were both
going on that train.

Ah, wait a minute.

Why, that's the kidnappers!

Come back here!

ALL: Oh!

Come back here, you kidnappers!

You can't get away with that.

[BARKS]

Quick, duck in there.

Hey, hey, hold on there.

Just a minute.

Ain't I seen you
somewhere before?

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

And what part of China
are you from, may I ask?

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

And I don't mean epshire.

[IN CHINESE ACCENT]
We are from China, east side.

Well, I think
we'll take a little trip

over to the west side,
to the police station.

Come along.

[SPEAKING GIBBERISH]

MOE: Come on!

Come here, you! Come back here!

Full speed!

Hey, come back here.

Full speed!

You can't get away with it.

Look out!

Wait a minute!
Look out for that--!

[TIRES SQUEAL]

Gimme a hand.

Now, where is Mrs. O'Toole

and the baby?

MOE: On their way to Ireland.

OHALLORAN: Ah! Yes.

Where is Mrs. O'Toole? Come on.

Hey, what's going on?
Oh, hello, Murphy.

Say, I think I got a couple
of the kidnappers,

but the one with the baby
got away.

Yeah? Quiet, Quiet.

[BABY CRIES]
You woke up the baby.

That's him, that's him.

It's a baby.

You're going for this,
I tell you this.

Give me my baby. Come here.
So you tried to fool me, eh?

Now, wait a minute, lady. We
found that baby on a doorstep.

We're no kidnappers.
Don't you run the dog laundry?

Certainly. Sure, I'm Moe.

I'm Curly. I'm Larry.

ALL: Quiet!

[MOANS]

I see it all now.

They saw the baby and
thought I had abandoned it.

[ALL TALK INDISTINCTLY]

I'm sure there must be
some mistake, officers.

If you'll release these boys,
I'll vouch for them.

[ALL TALKING]

MOE: Turn me loose, O'Halloran.

Darling, but look at you.

You're the dirtiest baby
I've ever laid my eyes on.

Oh, we'll handle that.
Follow me down the alley.

STOOGES:
Right, right, right, right.

Help me out, officer.
Oh, come on.

Get out of there.
Thank you, thank you.

Hey, wait for me.

BOTH: Contact.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Woo-hoo.

Let me work something--

No way.

Let me handle this--

Get away from here.

Ah! What'd you do?

I didn't mean it. Turn it off!

Shut it off!

[♪]