08x05 - An Ache in Every Stake

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

We'd die with the heat before
those dumb ice men get here.

Yesterday, they put
the ice in the radio.

[STOOGES SNORING]

[RINGS BELL]

[SNORING CONTINUES]

[WHINNIES]

What'd you roll over
in your sleep for?

Where's that other chucklehead?

CURLY: Hey, fellas!

Hey, fellas! Whoo-whoo-whoo.

I'm stuck. Whoo-whoo.

[SHUDDERS]

Defrost me.

Oh, a frozen dainty.
Come out of there.

Come on. Come on.

Hey, fellas, get me out.

What are you usin' ice
for a pillow again?

Get the tools. Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Fool. Hold that chisel.

Put it in the middle.

Oh, no, not there.

Put a hole by my nose
so I can breathe.

Okay.

That okay? Fine.

[CLANKING] Oh! Oh! Oh!

[GRUNTS]

Put it in the middle,
it don't work.

Give me that chisel.

[CLANKING]

That don't work. Wait a minute.

[CLANG]

[CLANG] Oh. Ooh!

Oh. Oh, thanks, fellas.

I'm chilled to the bone.

Well, get up here.
I'll warm you up.

[CLANG] Oh!

Let me tell you-- Oh, look.

You bent the chisel.
I'll straighten that.

Nyuck, nyuck-- Oh! [CLANG]

Go on. Deliver that ice.

[HIGH-PITCHED] Mmm.

[RATTLING]

[CLANKING]

Ah-ah-ah.

Yeah.

Hah.

Nyuck, nyuck.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

♪ La le lee la la ♪

Oh. What are you up to now?

I got a perfect score.

No, you haven't.
You need another strike.

Mmm.

Mmm.

[CRACK] Oh.

Why, you... Aah.

There you are.
It's a beautiful cake.

Thanks, it took me
two days to make it,

so be careful with it. Sure.

Oh.

Ah.

I told you to be careful.

WOMAN: Yoo-hoo.

Ice man. Ice man.

Bring me up
cents' worth of ice

and make it snappy.

Giddyap. [WHINNIES]

Giddyap.

[WHINNIES]

Go on. Get goin'.

Come on.

You get ready.

Tong it.

Ten-cent hunk goin' up.

[BONK] Oh!

Hey. You almost broke the ice.

I'll break your head.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

What are you standing
around for? Get that ice cut up.

[CLANG] Oh.

I'm sorry, Moe. I didn't know
you were standin' there.

Oh, that's all right, kid.

Accidents can happen
in the best of families.

[CRUNCH] Aah. Oh.

Oh, Moe. Oh. Oh, Moe. Oh.

[CREAK] Aah.

Phew. Here you are, lady.

Where do I put it?

You could put that piece
in you pocket.

Nyah.

Hey, Moe, look.

How do you like that? We forgot
to allow for shrinkage.

Free sample.
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

We'll have to double up
on the size. Come on.

[PANTING]

You know, I-- I know.

We gotta send up two hunks
to wind up with one.

Here. Here.

Here? No, up there.

Nyuh-uh-uh-uh. Get goin'.

Hurry up!

[PANTING]

Here you are. Two for one.

Nyuh-uh.

Hey, Moe, they defrosted.

Ice cubes.

Yeah, that gives me an idea.
We'll relay it.

Hey, you.
Wait on that fifth flight.

Take the third
and don't do anything

till you see
the whites of my eyes.

What a brain.

Nyuh.

Lady, why don't you get
an electric icebox?

Does away with all your work,
worry, fuss, and bother

and gives you
plenty of fresh food.

Say that again.

Why--?

[BARKS] Oh.

Hep.

Hep. Hep, hep, hep, hep.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Hey, fellas, look. I made it.

Ahh. Mmm.

Why, you turniphead,
I ought to...

Wait a minute. I got an idea.

Let's bring
the icebox down to the ice.

When I want your advice,
I'll ask for it.

Get the icebox.

Oh. Go on. Oh.

Why didn't you think
of this before?

I did. What a brain.

Come on. Get movin' out of here.

Hup. Hup. Let's go.

Thanks, I got home all right
with this cake.

Pff.

Whoo-hoo.

Okay, rest.

Phew. Man, oh, man.

Aah!

[CRASH]

[HORSE WHINNIES]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

[PINGING PLAYS MELODY]

[SPEAKING FRENCH]

This is the last straw.

Nyuck, nyuck.

And now, before I go...

[WHIMPERS]

[SPUTTERS]

[WHIMPERS]

Hey, Moe. Moe.

What does blood smell like?

Mm, not bad.
Tastes like ketchup.

It is ketchup, you numbskull.

Not enough, huh?

I'm gonna k*ll you.

Take it easy, pal.
Whoo-whoo-whoo.

Now, listen, pal, take it easy.

Wait a minute.

Ooh.

[SPUTTERS]

What's going on here?
Dinner's supposed to be ready,

and you're out here
playing a game.

Games? Madame, I quit.

Quit? You can't quit.
What about my dinner?

Dinner? You cook it yourself.
I quit, and she quit too.

Oh, what will I do?

My husband's birthday,
and no one to cook the dinner.

Weep no more, my lady.
We'll cook it for ya.

Certainly. We'll cook a dinner

that'll be the talk of the town,
also the county.

You will?

[UNISON] Will we?

[DOORBELL BUZZES]
There's my husband.

Do we know how to cook?

Do we? Do we?

Hello, dear. Happy birthday.

What's happy about it?

Where's the cake?

I'm wearing it.

You mean there's no cake?

No cake.

Hm. Musclebound.

[SQUAWKS]

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Oh. Hangnail.

[CREAKS] [GRUNTS]

[POP]

Hey, Curly, shave some ice.

What? I said shave some ice.

[SQUEALS]

Don't go away.

"Half a cup of butter."
Half a cup of butter.

That's about a half a cup.

"Dash of bakin' powder."
Dash of bakin' powder.

Comin' up,
a dash of bakin' powder.

Dash.

[HUMMING]

You're new in the neighborhood,
aren't you?

Once over lightly. Yes, sir.

[TWANG]
[CONK, CONK, CONK, CLANG]

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Hot towel? No? Okay.

Tell me, is it as warm
in the summer

as it is in the country,
or vice versa?

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.
Or who cares?

You look very familiar.

Enough? Yes, sir.

Are you married or happy?

You have a very tough beard--
Like nails.

I'm saving this
for the children. Yes.

Make mud pies.
Hey, mister, make like this:

Thank you.

Ooh. Pardon me.

Say, did you have a pink tie on?

No? Well, here's your lip.
Nyuck, nyuck.

Sit right down. You're next.

[GRUNTS]

What are you up to, grapehead?

I was shavin' the ice.

Well, get back there
and stuff that turkey.

[SQUEALS]

Come on. [GROANS]

Ooh. Oh. Get busy.

Mmm.

"Separate two eggs."

"Two potatoes, diced."

[RATTLES]

Seven. Right.
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

"A pinch of salt."

[SQUEALS]

"Half a dozen oysters."

Oh. They forgot
to clean this one.

"A can of peas."

Nyuck, nyuck.

"One loaf of bread,
well-soaked."

That's...

[HUFFING]

Ah.

[ZIP]

Come and get it.

Second round comin' up.

Comin' up.

I say, the best
the bar could afford.

Hold your glass up, shorty.

There we are. Not bad, eh?

[CLICKS]

Say, I've seen these fellows
someplace before,

but I just can't place them.

[CRUNCH]

Oh, a ring.

I never heard of prizes
in turkey dressing before.

Thank you, darling.

Another prize, a wristwatch.

That's really
too wonderful, darling.

Hey, wait a minute. That's mine.

Where's the stem?

Oh.

[TICKING]

Oh, a clip joint.

[BARKS]

[CRACK]

[CRUNCHING]

[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]

A tutsy fruitsy.

[HUFFS]

[CLANKING]

What are you doin'? Nothin'.

Nyuh-uh-uh.

Oh. Oh.

Why, you "igoramus".

Ah. Aah.

[GRUNTS] Mmm.

Are you hurt? Certainly not.

Let's dance.

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck,
nyuck, nyuck.

Father died dancing,
on the end of a rope.

Used to do toe work
till I broke two ankles

and they wanted to sh**t me--

Pardon me. Certainly.

Nyuck, nyuck.
Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

[TWANG] Nyuh-uh-uh-uh.

Mmm.

[TWANG] Nyah-ah-ah-ah-ah.

You're gettin' in my hair.

[BARKS]

[TWANG] Nyah-ah-ah-ah.

[BARKS] [SQUEALS]

[TWANG, SNAP] Oh.

Ooh.

Hmm.

Wha--?

Oh.

Hmm. Wha--?

Oh.

[GRUNTS]

Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.

Small world, isn't it?

[CLANKING]

I wonder if it's done.

What do you think?

Boy, a mountain of cake.

[HISS]

Now, look what you did.
You deflated it.

Get out of the way.

Oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

Hey, we better blow it up again.

Yeah. Take the gas pipe.

Not you. The cake.

I'll k*ll you later...

personally.

Where's the hole you made?

There it is.

Give her the gas.

Gas on. Gas on.

Hey, hurry.
They're waitin' for the cake.

Take your time.

Gas off. Gas off.

That ought to be enough.
Well, I'll let you know.

Thirty-eight pounds, okay.

Maybe somebody will want
a second helping.

Pump in four more slices.

Gas on. Gas on.

Gas off. Gas off.

I'm gonna plug her up.

[HISS]

There we are. Put the icing on.
We'll bounce it in.

♪ La lee la la ♪

♪ La lee la-- ♪

[SQUEALS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[INDISTINCT SPUTTERING]

I wonder where those
servants are with the cake.

I'm still wondering
where I saw them before.

[IMITATING FANFARE]

♪ We baked you A birthday cake ♪

♪ If you get A tummy ache ♪

♪ And you moan
And groan in woe ♪

♪ Don't forget we told you so ♪

Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

Make a wish, dear,
and blow out the candles.

Here they go.

Now I remember. The ice men.

[STOOGES YELP]

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo.

[♪]