03x19 - Bedknobs and Drumsticks

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together

♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on

♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together

♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song

♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

♪ We got the
sunshine in our hands

♪ I've got the
sunshine in my hands

♪ You've got the
sunshine in your hands

♪ Now let it shine
all over this land

♪ Holy, holy ♪ Glory, glory

♪ Hallelujah I believe it now

♪ Holy, holy ♪ Glory, glory

♪ You can give without receiving

♪ You've got the sunshine

♪ We've got the sunshine

♪ I've got the sunshine

♪ You've got the
sunshine ♪ Holy, holy

♪ Glory, glory ♪
I've got the sunshine

♪ You've got the sunshine

♪ Sunshine in my hands

♪ You've got the
sunshine in your hands

♪ We've got the
sunshine in our hands

♪ Now let it shine
all over this land

♪ You've got to
love, love one another

♪ Whoa, shine,
shine on your brother

♪ And the whole
world will discover

♪ In the arms of
every woman and man

♪ You've got the sunshine

♪ We got the sunshine

♪ I've got the
sunshine in my hands

♪ You've got the
sunshine in your hands

♪ We've got the
sunshine in our hands

♪ Now let it shine
♪ All over this land ♪

Okay. You wanted to watch
The Monster from the Red Planet.

We watched it. Now
it's my turn to pick.

Let's face it.

Sunday TV is either monster
movies or sermonettes.

Where are the TV listings?

Oh, I have them.

There were a lot of
good recipes this Sunday.

Come in.

Hi, Reuben.

Hi Reuben. Hi.

Hi. I thought you had

some sort of special
meeting this afternoon.

Yeah, I just did.

Then I came straight over.

I want you all to watch
something on TV.

And I want your honest reaction.

Uncle Erwin's Country
Fried Chicken presents

The Dixie Melodies of .

You hurried over to make us
watch Dixie Melodies of ?

Can we give you our
honest reaction now,

or do we have to sit
through the whole picture?

Not the movie. The
first commercial.

It should be on about now.

In a moment, The
Dixie Melodies of ,

but first this word.

Hi, folks. Uncle Erwin for
Uncle Erwin's Country Chicken.

I'm here with my little
barnyard friend Elroy.

Say hello to the folks, Elroy.

Hello, folks.

Now, Elroy done come by here

to tell y'all about my new...

Come-And-Get-It Special.

Take it away, Elroy.
Thank you, Uncle Erwin.

The Come-And-Get-It Special

is just for you kids.

Two delicious
drumsticks, lots of fries,

plus Uncle Erwin's
special musical triangle.

Why, you can play everything
from Bacharach to Beethoven

and Bacharach again.

So get on down to your nearest

Uncle Erwin's
Country Chicken store.

Chicken so good,
you'll crow for more.

All right, take it, Roy.

Well, what do you think?

Well, the question isn't,
"What do we think?" It's,

"Why do you ask?"

Reuben, that special
meeting this afternoon,

would it by any chance
have been with Uncle Erwin?

Well, as a matter
of fact, it was.

You see, he's looking for
a new advertising concept.

What he wants is
the Partridge Family.

No. Never.

No way.

Forget it. Ditto.

Tracy? Double ditto.

Reuben, we are not
going on television

for Uncle Erwin's
Country Chicken.

That's the worst commercial I...

That is just the point. It
wouldn't be like the one you saw.

He wants to do a
quality commercial.

Shirley, would I even
listen to the man's offer

if there was any
question of taste?

We know you wouldn't
ask us to do anything

that wasn't in
our best interest.

But how do we know we
won't have to talk to a rooster

by the name of Elroy?

Meet the man.

Shirley, it's a good
product, isn't it?

Of course it is. We buy
the chicken all the time,

but that commercial...

And I have Erwin's promise
that this commercial will be

simple, tasteful, and appealing.

Well...

I guess it wouldn't
hurt to talk to the man.

What we had in mind was

kind of a pleasant
meadow, maybe a picnic.

A nice family.

Well, that's where
you all come in.

Enjoying the day

and each other, and, of course,

a big bucket of Uncle
Erwin's Country Fried Chicken.

Well, that sounds nice.

Yes, it does.

What makes it so
special for us is that,

well, you all are in it,
and I mean all of you.

Now, I want you to know that
you were not my first choice.

You was my only choice.

Now, what do you
say? How about it?

Well, it sounds very impressive.

Kids? Sure.

Fine with me. Let's do it.

In that case,

we'd be glad to do
your commercial, Erwin.

First time I've ever been
nervous about a picnic.

Ah, there's nothing to it.

You just act natural.

Okay, Nick, hop on the crane.

Try to stay awake.

We want to sh**t this today.

Mrs. Partridge,

I know that you're
new at this sort of thing.

Just think of this
as a normal picnic.

It's a beautiful day.
You're out with your family,

enjoying the great
outdoors, okay?

Okay.

Okay, boys, let's go for a take.

Partridge family, chicken
commercial, take one.

Another pleasant day,

compliments of Uncle
Erwin's Country Fried Chicken.

I think that really says it.

That's very impressive.

Thanks to the Partridge Family,

it's exactly what we wanted.

I don't want to sound immodest,

but I think it was just great.

The franchise owners
will be very pleased

when we show it to them, Erwin.

Hmm. It is everything we wanted,

except for one thing.

What's that, Erwin?

Well, I... I don't rightly know.

There is something the matter.

Now, I can't quite put
my finger on it, but...

I will. Mmm-hmm.

I most surely will.

Now. Here we go. For you.

Oh, Reuben, champagne.

You shouldn't have.

Oh, no doubt about it.

This is going to be an
evening to remember.

Reuben. What kind of
a girl do you think I am?

You were right the first time.

Aren't you going to answer it?

A little later. When?

Maybe tomorrow.

Reuben, I think you
better answer it now.

The ringing doesn't
go with the music.

All right.

Hello. Oh, hi, Shirley.

Listen, could I call you back?

Come over?

Well, now?

Well, couldn't it
wait until later?

Erwin?

It doesn't make
him think chicken?

Well, what is the one little
change he wants to make?

Well, can't you just tell me?

Why do I have to come over?

Yeah, all right. All right.

I'll be right over. Yeah.

Reuben.

Why me?

Why does it always happen to me?

Never happens to anybody else,

but it always happens to me.

Bonnie, uh, I'll be
back as soon as I can.

Reuben.

You won't be long, will you?

Oh, you'll, uh...
You'll miss me, huh?

Well, no, but I have a
flight later, and I'm starved.

Do you think you could
pick up a pepperoni pizza

on your way home?

Pepperoni? Hmm.

Right.

Reuben?

Yes, Bonnie?

No anchovies.

No anchovies.

Shirley. SHIRLEY: In
the living room, Reuben.

All right, Shirley,
what was so important

that it couldn't
have waited until...

This is Erwin's
one little change.

Oh.

Well, Shirley, you
got to admit one thing.

What?

It does make you think chicken.

Fine, but, Mr. Lingella,
give me one good reason

why my clients should have
to do a second commercial

in chicken suits.

Yeah, well...
Mister... Mr. Lingella?

I only asked for one reason.

Thank you. Goodbye.

Well? Oh, that was, uh,

Erwin's attorney,
uh, Mr. Lingella.

Mmm-hmm. A very,
very capable lawyer.

Reuben, we know
it was his lawyer.

Do we have to do
the other commercial?

Let me put it this way.

Erwin makes the
world's best fried chicken,

and his lawyer makes the
world's tightest contracts.

Well, I've got a
simple solution.

We just won't do it.

Oh, then we get sued, and they
stop us from working anywhere.

Then I guess we
do it. If we do it,

we won't be able to get a
date playing a supermarket.

Well, if we can't do it
and we can't not do it,

what do we do?

Six lunks in chicken
suits. We're finished.

Our only hope is If Erwin doesn't
like the second commercial either.

What did you just say?

I didn't say anything.

Yes, you did.

You said, "Our only hope is

"if Erwin doesn't like the
second commercial either."

Keith, what are you getting at?

Well, don't you
see? It's simple.

We do a commercial so bad
that even Erwin won't like it.

I don't know. It
sounds underhanded.

You call this playing fair?

Now, I know you all
probably came here

to tell me you do not like
the idea of the chicken suits.

But this is one case where I
have to rely on my instincts.

You don't spend years around
chickens without some of it rubbing off.

Well, you know what I mean.

Erwin, we're not
here to complain.

You're not? No, actually,

we thought it over, and
decided maybe you're right.

We just thought we might add
a couple of things ourselves.

Yeah, we'd take your
idea and build on it.

Sort of take your
style and run with it.

Mmm-hmm. You
mean you like my style?

Well, it, uh, grows on you.

That sounds just
fine. I mean, just fine.

Well, thank you very much.

Oh, thank you. Will
you be at the, uh,

filming by any chance?

I'd love to. Ah.

But I can't.

Ah, you can't.
Well, that's too bad.

However, I will be back in time

to play the commercial for
the franchise owner convention.

Till then, now, don't you all do
anything I wouldn't do, you hear?

You can bet on that. Goodbye.

Goodbye. Bye.

Another pleasant day,

compliments of Uncle
Erwin's Country Fried Chicken.

Well, Erwin?

What do you think?

I don't like it.

No, sir. I just don't like it.

I love it.

You love it?

Best commercial I ever did see.

Forget about that first one.

I can't wait to get
this one on the air.

Well, cheer up, kids.

You're not going out
there to face a f*ring squad.

This is worse.

At least when you
face a f*ring squad,

they give you a blindfold.

Yeah, if we're embarrassed now,

think what it'll be like when
they show it on television.

I'd rather not think about
that, if you don't mind.

I wonder if they could use a cute
redhead in the Foreign Legion.

Wait a minute.

Why are we so worried?

I assume that's a
rhetorical question.

We don't like the
commercial, right?

Now, where did Mama
ever get an idea like that?

Look, there's a whole
roomful of people out there

that feel just like us.

Embarrassed?

Shirley, what are
you getting at?

Reuben, you have
to do something fast.

Come with me.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

it's time for that special
treat I told y'all about earlier.

As you all know,
I'm about to embark

on a different
concept of advertising,

and the first step is a
new television commercial.

So, without further
delay, let's just, uh,

let's just have a
look at it, shall we?

Oh, hi, Shirley.

I'm just showing
them the commercial.

I know.

Everything's all set.

They're not laughing.

Another pleasant day,

compliments of Uncle
Erwin's Country Fried Chicken.

Hey, Uncle Erwin.
Come on out here.

Hey, that's a great joke.

Now, where's the
real commercial?

The real commercial?

Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you very much.

We hope you all enjoyed

Uncle Erwin's little joke.

We had great fun doing it.

Now we have the real
commercial for you.

We do? We do.

This is a film that
we're all very proud of.

We hope you like it.

Shirley, how did
you know that they...

Just intuition, I guess.

What if they don't like it any
better than the other one?

Another pleasant day,

compliments of Uncle
Erwin's Country Fried Chicken.

I don't know how
to thank you, Shirley.

Well, it isn't necessary.

I think you done a
favor for both of us.

Well, no offense, but,
um, I think you're right.

♪ Na-na na-na-na

♪ Na na na-na na

♪ Na na na-na na
na na na-na na na

♪ Caught in a dead end

♪ You took the wrong bend

♪ To you I'm a friend

♪ But I wanna be your lover

♪ Caught in a hurricane

♪ Out in the cold rain

♪ Couldn't make it much plainer

♪ But you still can't discover

♪ That I wanna be your lover

♪ Na na na-na na na na na-na na

♪ Na na na-na na
♪ Na na na-na na na

♪ Na na na-na na
♪ Na na na-na na

♪ Na na na-na na
na na na-na na na

♪ Night and day Day and night

♪ Night and day and night

♪ Oh, I need you
ALL: ♪ I need you

♪ Right by my side

♪ Inside, outside Upside down

♪ Everything is turned around
without you ♪ Without you

♪ Up on a tightrope
below there's no hope

♪ No hope ♪ 'Cause
I'm only your friend

♪ And I wanna be your lover

♪ Caught in a landslide

♪ Feel like it's
low tide ♪ Low tide

♪ Well, I swallowed my pride

♪ But you still can't discover
that I wanna be your lover

♪ Na na na-na na

♪ Na na na-na na na na na-na na

♪ Na na na-na na na

♪ Na na na-na na na na na-na na

♪ Na na na-na na ♪
Na na na-na na na ♪

It won't take
very long, Shirley.

All I want you to do
is explain to Bonnie

why I've been standing
her up so much lately.

Reuben, what good would it do for
me to explain to Miss Kleinschmitt?

I mean, wouldn't a note
from your mother work better?

Oh, that's funny.
That's very funny.

Well, here we go.

Uh, who are you?

I'm Gwen. Oh.

Where's Bonnie?

Oh, she couldn't make it.

Uh, I guess you could say
she sent me to sort of fill in.

Oh, she did, did she?

Well, that was thoughtful.

Yeah, but I had no
idea you had a date.

Date? Oh. Oh, no.

No, she was just, uh,
seeing me to the door.

Hey, thanks a lot, sis.

I think I can take it from here.

Are you sure you
don't want me to stay?

No. I mean, that
won't be necessary.

Gwen will keep me company.

Oh, good. I'll go
and call Frank.

Sure, you go and get... Frank?

My husband.

Oh, Bonnie thought you
might enjoy the two of us

keeping you company.

The two of you?

Kleinschmitt one,
Kincaid nothing.