the song that we're singin'
♪ Come on, get happy
♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
♪ We'll make you happy
♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together
♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on
♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together
♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song
♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'
♪ Come on, get happy
♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'
♪ We'll make you happy
♪ We'll make you happy
♪ We'll make you happy ♪
Has the mailman been here yet?
Haven't seen him.
He can make it
through rain, sleet, snow,
but give him sunshine,
and he'll fall apart.
What are you
expecting in the mail?
Money.
Figures.
Danny, have you
entered another contest?
Twenty-five words or less,
why I love ginger-nut bars.
You hate ginger-nut bars.
But I love money.
Hi, the mail's here.
Just a bill from Bartlett's
department store.
Nothing for me.
Who do you know that can write?
Clifford Irving.
Listen to this.
"Dear customer, Bartlett's
has gone modern. Rejoice.
"We've joined the computer age
to provide customers with faster,
"more efficient
billing service."
Whoopee.
I wonder what kind of
computer Bartlett's is using.
By the looks of
this bill, a sick one.
$?
For that cuckoo clock?
It's a mistake.
The clock cost $.
Boy, sales tax is really
getting out of hand.
It's no big thing. The decimal
point was just put in the wrong place.
Well, we're gonna
put it in the right place.
It wasn't the computer's fault. It
was the guy who programmed it.
Replace him with a computer.
Good morning. Bartlett's
department store.
Hello, this is...
All our courtesy
representatives are busy.
Your call will be answered
as soon as one is available.
In the meantime, please
enjoy a musical interlude.
This has been a recording.
I'm not against automation,
but it's too much complaining
to one machine because
another machine made a mistake.
It's de-humanizing.
It's progress.
It's time to go to Bartlett's.
Oh, don't be too
rough on them, Mom.
I mean, even you make mistakes.
Me? Never.
Then how do you explain them?
Yes?
Certainly. Send her in.
Yes. How do you do? I'm Byron
Atwater, your credit manager.
How do you do?
I'm Shirley Partridge.
Mrs. Partridge. Please sit down.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Shirley Partridge?
Congratulations. For what?
On being rated triple A. I
just checked your credit.
Our little friend
speaks highly of you.
That's nice.
Mr. Atwater, I just
received my statement.
Ah, yes. Our new
computerized form.
Yes. Excellent eye appeal.
Concise, neat... And inaccurate.
I bought a cuckoo clock for $.
That bill says $.
Perhaps you thought it cost $.
I know it cost $.
It's the only cuckoo
clock that Bartlett sells.
We'll just ask our
little friend about that.
Mrs. Partridge,
our little friend says
we owe you an apology.
Please follow me.
Uh, Mr. Baker? This is Mrs.
Partridge, one of our triple A's.
Hi. How do you do?
I've been to some of your
concerts. I think your music's terrific.
Thank you.
And now, Mrs. Partridge,
meet the --- Z.
How do you do?
I feed the billing information to
it through this typewriter here.
And in turn, the computer makes
out your monthly bill and mails it.
Who licks the stamps?
Oh, another machine, of course.
Of course.
Mr. Baker, there seems to be an
error in Mrs. Partridge's statement.
It should read $.
Order the computer to move her
decimal point one place to the left.
Yes, sir.
Also order it to get a corrected
bill in the mail immediately.
Done.
That fast?
Some people count
time. We make time count.
With the help of the
--- Z, of course.
Of course.
Well, then. Thank
you, Mr. Baker.
Nice to meet you.
Mr. Atwater. Pleasure.
Mr. Z. Bye.
Keith, Mom and I are going to
the store. You need anything?
Oh, no. Uh-uh.
Hey, Mom, how'd things
go at Bartlett's yesterday?
Great. Did you get
everything squared away?
The credit manager
handled it personally.
Yeah, well, before you put
him on your Christmas list,
you better check your new bill.
Oh, no.
$,?
This isn't at all like the
--- Z. I don't understand it.
Apparently, neither
does the --- Z.
We'll correct this immediately.
Oh, that won't be necessary.
I've decided to pay for the clock,
and I'm gonna close my account.
Oh, now, please,
aren't you overreacting?
No, your computer is.
Hi. My name's Tom Baker.
I've seen all your
concerts. You're very good.
Well, thank you.
Who would have thought we'd
have met over --- Z, huh?
Probably no one.
There you are. $.
Paid in full.
We feel very badly about
losing you as a customer.
Well, I'm sure you'll
both get over it in time.
Laurie.
Would you like to see
how the computer works?
No, thank you. I already have.
You got a problem
with hot water?
Oh, George, yes. Would
you go take a look at it?
I think it's leaking.
Sure thing.
Laurie, calm down. Hi, George.
I'm sure there's a
logical explanation.
What's there to explain? I am
never going back in that store again.
What's going on?
Mom, it's the most humiliating
thing I've ever been through.
Bernie's grocery store
refused to cash your check.
I've been cashing
checks there for years.
Why didn't you ask
Bernie to call me?
I asked him, but he refused.
He said our credit
was a bad risk.
That's an understatement.
Who are you?
Harlan Laws. Ryman
Collection Agency.
You Shirley Partridge?
I am.
Well, you want to pay now?
Pay what?
Oh, come on now. The big ones
you owe Bartlett's department store.
I don't owe Bartlett's
department store one cent.
I knew you were gonna say that.
Yeah, well, it's true. The
whole thing was a big mistake.
I knew you were
gonna say that, too.
Mr. Laws, you better have
another talk with your computer.
I've already straightened
this thing out.
Okay.
But if you're not telling it
like it is, then I'm coming back.
Round trips have a tendency
of making me very, very nasty.
You're not exactly
Mary Poppins now.
Until we meet again.
Mrs. Partridge?
I'm afraid you'll need
a new water heater.
Oh, this has really been my
lucky day. How much, George?
Well, I worked out
this estimate for you.
This includes parts and
labor, completely installed,
$., in advance.
In advance? George, we've
been doing business for years.
Oh, I know, but
it's the boss' orders.
See, we subscribe to
this new computer service
that gives us credit
ratings on all the customers.
So?
So the computer
says you're a, um...
A what, George?
A deadbeat, Mrs. Partridge.
You're the owner of this store
and something must be done.
Agreed.
Why I allowed Atwater to sell
me on computers I'll never know.
I hated to go over his head, but
things have gotten terribly out of hand.
Mr. Bartlett, I came in...
Mrs. Partridge, what
are you doing here?
Complaining about you.
Not you, Mr. Atwater.
Your computer.
It's not only incapable
of getting my bill straight,
but now it's taken to
spreading vicious rumors
that have ruined
my credit rating!
Oh, uh, yes. Mr. Bartlett...
Atwater, I want
immediate action.
Well, sir, that's what I've
been trying to tell you about.
I'm afraid we've got
immediate action.
If you'll come over
here, sir, please?
Right down there.
Who are those people?
Well, I don't know
the rest of them,
but I can tell you who the
one in the yellow jacket is.
Hello.
Well, if it isn't
--- Z's best friend.
Listen, I heard what happened,
and I just want to say that
I respect what you're doing.
Oh? Then pick up a sign.
Yeah, well, I'd
love to, but, um...
You see, I know this
is a bad time to ask,
but ever since the other day,
I was wondering if maybe
we could go out some time?
Oh, I don't think so. You
see, there's a w*r going on,
and you're the enemy.
But I'm not the enemy.
You work for him.
You're the one that operates
his doomsday machine.
Did you hear that,
everybody? He's one of them!
People, yes! Computers, no!
People, yes! Computers, no!
People, yes! Computers, no!
People, yes! Computers, no!
Well, guess I better be going.
I guess so.
People, yes! Computers, no!
People, yes! Computers, no!
Mom, before you say
anything, I just want you to know
that we're committed to
stay here until you get justice.
Honey, I appreciate it,
but Mr. Atwater has promised to
clear up our credit rating immediately.
On that, you have my
personal guarantee.
Now, if you will kindly remove your pickets
before we all end up on the : news.
If I can be sure you
mean what you say.
In addition to a letter of apology
to each member of your family,
the computer is sending
out letters of explanation
to those firms you do business
with. Right, Mr. Bartlett?
Wrong, Mr. Atwater. You
are sending those letters.
Right, Mr. Bartlett.
Now, will you please
call off your pickets?
Well, in that case.
Mission accomplished! We won!
Yeah!
Are you sure you don't
need us here anymore?
Yeah. Thanks, Albert.
Okay, everybody! Over
to San Pueblo Chemical!
Pick up your ecology
signs on the way!
Hi. Hi.
How'd the protest go?
Have you ever seen a
grown department store cry?
- You won?
- Total victory.
All right!
You would have
been so proud of me.
Where's our furniture?
The moving men took it.
And that collection agent said they
were gonna keep it till you paid up.
Who let them in the house?
I did.
Why?
'Cause they were bigger than me.
They took everything.
Not everything.
They left that.
It figures.
No, I don't want to speak with
your courtesy representative!
I want to speak
with Mr. Atwater!
It's a matter of
life or death! His!
This is really fun.
Yeah, just like camping out.
Have him call me as
soon as he gets back!
I wish they hadn't
taken the couch.
I had $ hidden in the lining.
Uh, chic. Very chic.
Remind me to get the
name of your new decorator.
Ryman Collection Agency.
It's in the Yellow Pages.
Have you got a
hold of Atwater, yet?
No.
They're holding the furniture until I
pay Bartlett's the big ones I owe.
Hmm. Now that's illegal.
Thanks for putting it in
perspective, Mr. Kincaid.
Well, what are we
gonna do about it?
Sit on the floor a lot.
Well, we better
do something fast.
I just stopped to pick up the
check from your last performance,
but the collection agency
got there first. You're kidding!
They can't do
that. But they did.
Guess who?
Mrs. Partridge, what can I say?
Say our furniture
will be returned.
That goes without saying.
Say it anyway.
The moving men are on their
way over. It's all a terrible mistake.
Our computer issued a
cancellation order to their computer,
but neglected to mail it.
Mr. Atwater, we have
been very patient,
but this has gone too far.
One more chance?
That's all I ask.
One more chance? I have...
Shirley, why don't
you let me handle this?
Poverty, here we come.
Mr. Atwater,
you and I are going to
go down to your office
and have a nice,
long heart-to-heart talk.
Reuben.
Don't worry about a thing.
I'll have it taken care
of before you can say...
Bankruptcy.
That's a rotten idea.
The rottenest.
I think I like it.
The point is it might work.
What if Mom finds out?
Well, that's a chance
we're gonna have to take.
Besides, we'll be
doing her a favor.
All right, we've got a lot of plans
to make. Are you guys in or not?
I'm in.
I got to think about it.
If we get caught, I'm
naming you as an accomplice.
I thought about it. I'm in.
Okay.
At exactly hours
tomorrow, we start.
Operation Cuckoo.
All right, are there any
last-minute questions?
Just one. What is it?
What's in this for me?
The bucks you
hid in the couch.
Gotcha.
All right. Begin phase one.
Gotcha.
Hi, there, Tim.
Uh, Tom.
Oh, Tom.
Hi!
I, uh...
I came by to apologize for
the way I acted the other day.
It's okay.
No. No, I had
time to think it over,
and, well, I'd like very
much for you to take me out.
Fantastic. That's great.
When? Friday
night? Saturday night.
Right now.
Right now.
Sure. We could go to lunch.
I'd love to,
but I can't. I don't
get off until noon.
Oh. Okay.
See what that computer's done
to you? Everything by the books.
But I... I'll see
you around, Tom.
Wait a minute.
You're right. The
--- Z can wait.
Sure. We can
even bring it a taco.
Phase one, right on schedule.
Phase two, coming up.
I can hardly wait.
One more time. What do
you do if somebody comes by?
Tell them it was all your idea.
Very cute.
Okay, here I go.
Mr. Atwater!
You're just the
man I wanted to see.
Well, what can I
do for you, Danny?
I know you're a very busy man,
but I'm very interested in computers,
and I volunteered to do a
school science project on them.
Really?
And I was wondering if you'd share
some of your knowledge on them with me.
Volunteered, huh?
I'd be delighted.
We can start with the --- Z.
Oh, not the --- Z.
But it's the ultimate.
Not according to my mom.
True.
Do you have something simpler?
You know, something a kid
my age could understand?
I have a -- R in the office.
Just let me put these
cards in the computer room.
Uh, Mr. Atwater, could
you show me now?
I have a dentist appointment
in a few minutes, and, um...
I don't want to be late.
Oh, you like dentists, too.
We do have a lot in
common, don't we?
Science, dentistry.
You can show me
your computers later.
But I thought you
wanted to see them now?
You know how us kids are.
Always changing our minds.
I don't believe it.
What is it?
A check from
Bartlett's for $,.
You're kidding.
Now, that's the kind of
mistake I can identify with.
I'll get it.
$,.
Wait till Mr. Atwater
hears about this.
You heard.
Hello, Mrs. Partridge.
Oh, I see you got your mail.
Certainly did.
Won't you come in?
Oh, thank you, thank you. You
know, it's all very easily explained.
You see, the --- Z not
only credited your account,
but it issued you a check.
For , big ones.
Exactly.
Now, I'm sure you have
no intention of capitalizing
on a silly little computer
mistake, do you?
I don't know.
Now, if you will just
endorse the check.
Why, I'll turn it over
to the computer so...
$,.
I wonder what the weather is
like in Europe this time of year.
I understand it's rainy.
Good, I love rain.
Let's not go to Europe, Mom.
Thank you. Acapulco's the spot.
I'd much rather be driving
around in our new motor home,
the one that we're
gonna buy with that check.
You don't look very
well, Mr. Atwater.
Would you like a glass of water?
No, I'd like your signature
on that check is what I'd like.
Well, it's not just
up to me, you know.
We have a democracy
here. We have to take a vote.
All right, all in favor of
returning the check say "aye."
Aye. Aye.
Danny, I didn't hear you.
Nay.
Danny.
I just hate to see
it be unanimous.
Your check, Mr. Atwater.
If you'll just sign.
Yes.
Oh, thank you. Thank
you. You may keep the pen.
Mr. Atwater, we should get
together for lunch someday.
Wonderful. Anything
you say, Danny.
Mom, maybe Mr. Atwater would
like tickets to our concert tonight.
Oh, good idea.
Oh, how nice.
Uh, how much do I owe you?
Oh, don't worry
about it, Mr. Atwater.
We'll bill you.
♪ You came like the mornin' sun
♪ And I knew you were the one
♪ Who gave me
something to believe in
♪ We can feel it but we know
♪ We can't let our feelings show
♪ "No good," that's
what they say about me
♪ You should try
to live without me
♪ No good, they'll
never understand
♪ Maybe someday we
can find a way to be together
♪ Baby, someday
they'll leave us alone
♪ Maybe someday
there may be some way
♪ We can sing our songs together
♪ Don't you worry what they say
♪ 'Cause with every passing day
♪ We get closer to tomorrow
♪ And tomorrow we'll be free
♪ To be what we want to be
♪ They say he's
really not your kind
♪ Look out, you
know that love is blind
♪ Look out but
they don't really see
♪ Maybe someday we
can find a way to be together
♪ Baby, someday
they'll leave us alone
♪ Maybe someday, maybe some way
♪ We can sing our
songs together ♪
You know, it's a good thing
everything worked out the way it did.
Oh? Yeah.
That guy Atwater came this close to
butting heads with Reuben Kincaid.
If it'd come to that,
there wouldn't have been much
left of him when the smoke cleared.
Yeah, he's a
lucky guy, all right.
He sure is.
He'll never know how close he
came to being bored to death.
Just answer me one question.
Did the three of you
have anything to do
with that little mistake
the computer made?
Mom, you don't really want to know
the answer to that question, do you?
Come to think of it,
no.
It's getting late.
I'm gonna go to bed.
Well, it's early. It's only...
I don't believe it. It stopped.
Of all the...
I am going to take
this back to Bartlett's,
go to the complaint
department and demand...
Forget I said that.