04x22 - . . . - - - . . . (S.O.S.)

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hello, world, hear
the song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We had a dream
we'd go travelin' together

♪ And spread a little lovin'
then we'd keep movin' on

♪ Somethin' always happens
whenever we're together

♪ We get a happy feelin'
when we're singin' a song

♪ Travelin' along there's
a song that we're singin'

♪ Come on, get happy

♪ A whole lot of lovin'
is what we'll be bringin'

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy

♪ We'll make you happy ♪

Good breakfast, Mom.

Yeah, sure was.

Can we have something
different tomorrow?

Mom, I need $ .

Right now?

Yeah. It's for my yearbook.
Today's the last day.

It figures.

All right. Go and
look into my purse.

I hope I have enough.

Thanks.

Mom, I'm missing
a button on my shirt.

You're gonna have
to sew it on for me.

I'll take care of it.

Thanks, Laurie.

Wear a different shirt.

Would I be a terrible mother
if I made a confession?

No.

I really look forward
to the moment

when all of you
have gone to school

and I can sit down
with my cup of coffee

and read the morning newspaper.

Except, of course, on
Current Events Day.

We got to have one.

I know, I know.

All right. Fill me
in. What went here?

That's mine.

It's about a dog who walked
miles just to get home.

This one?

It's about a man who says the
world is gonna end tomorrow.

I'm glad you told me.
I might have missed it.

Thanks for the
money, Mom. Got to go.

Whoa.

What went here?

Oh, it's about some guy.

Some guy? What guy?

I don't know. I just cut
it out. I was in a hurry.

You don't even know
what your current event is?

I like to be surprised
when I read it.

Danny.

Okay.

It's about some Navy
guy who's back in town.

Some Navy guy.

He's the Captain
of an aircraft carrier.

He's in town to make a speech.

And in case your
teacher should ask,

his name is
Charles C. Corwin III.

Chuck Corwin? Let me see that.

It's Cuddles.

Cuddles?

Cuddles.

Here he is. Chuck Corwin.

He was some guy.

Senior class president,
three-year letterman.

Where does it say "Cuddles"?

Right here.

"To Shirley, with love
and kisses, Cuddles."

How come you've never
mentioned him before?

Because there's always
been young children around.

Here they are kissing.

We were in the
school play together.

This is at a picnic.

Oh. That one.

Mmm-hmm.

It says here, "Wedding
bells may ring."

This must have
been really something.

It was, and it was
a long time ago.

He's in town. Why
don't you call him?

Come on.

Wouldn't you like
to see him again?

Laurie, he wouldn't
even remember me.

Are you kidding? I certainly
wouldn't forget a chick I held that close.

Okay. This chick
had a sordid past.

Now everybody off to school.

All right. Going.

Laurie, I'll give you a ride.

Mom?

Yes?

One good thing
about this article.

What's that?

It'll sure jazz up my
current events class.

Go.

Do you think she'll call him?

Well, she said she wouldn't.

Maybe I will.

Isn't he a little old for you?

For Mom.

I could ask him over for
dinner for old times' sake.

Yeah. Maybe we could get
something started again, huh?

Why? Well, why not?

They used to go
together. It'd be nice.

I guess so.

How much money
does a Captain make?

You didn't!

Well, why not?

You're an attractive woman,
and he's an attractive man.

Laurie, what did you tell him?

I just phoned his hotel,

and I said you saw
his picture in the paper

and that you blushed
and you giggled.

You're making this up.

Well, just the blushing
and the giggling part.

Laurie, I don't think
this is very funny.

Oh, but, Mom, he was very
excited to hear about you.

He really wanted
to come to dinner.

Probably getting tired
of that Navy chow.

Thanks.

I still think you shouldn't
have called him.

Well, of course
I shouldn't have.

But I bet you
you're pleased I did.

I am not.

This house is a mess.

What am I gonna serve?
What about my hair?

She's pleased.

Candlelight?

Well, why not?

'Cause you can't see
what you're eating.

But it's romantic.

You guys are
making a big mistake.

What do we know about this guy?

I've seen a lot of late movies,
and I know how sailors operate.

He's the Captain
of an aircraft carrier.

Captains are just
like everyone else,

if they've been at
sea for six months.

Would you relax?

We're just trying to
renew an old friendship.

What if he asks her to
marry him or something?

Just so it isn't "or something."

This isn't funny.

I don't want a father
named Cuddles.

You look great. Well, thank you.

Yeah. I bet you he falls
for you all over again.

Now, just leave this to us.

We know that you're
a little out of practice.

Not really. It's like
arithmetic, you know.

Once you've learned
it, it comes right back.

I'll make believe
I didn't hear that.

Has it occurred to you
that he's probably married?

Married? He didn't
say he was married.

Did you ask him?

Well, no. But he
didn't sound married.

I mean, he would have told me.

A sailor?

Well, here he
comes, married or not.

I'll get it.

Are you kidding?

Do you want his first
impression of us to be you?

I'll get it.

Hi. Oh, it's you.

Is he here?

It's only Mr. Kincaid.

You sure know how to
make a guy feel welcome.

Sorry, Reuben. I was
expecting somebody else.

Oh.

Somebody important.

Well, here are some
unimportant contracts

from your unimportant manager.

Here he is.

Here who is?

Cuddles.

Hello, Chuck.

Shirley.

Hey.

You look wonderful.

You haven't changed a bit.

You have. You look better.

Come in.

I'd like you to
meet my children.

Hi. I'm the oldest.

Oh, this is Reuben
Kincaid, our manager.

This is Chuck Corwin. We
went to high school together.

How do you do?
How do you do, sir?

You don't have to say "sir."

Well, I still get a little
nervous around officers.

Well, old habits
are tough to break.

Well, I hate to not eat
and run, but I do have to go.

Chuck, is it? Nice to
meet you, Chuck. Shirley.

Kids. Bye, Reuben.

Bye, Reuben.

This is Tracy.

Hi. Hi.

Chris. Hi.

Hi. Keith.

How do you do, Captain?

Laurie. Hello.

And Danny.

How do you do, sir?

How's the wife?

Oh, I'm afraid I don't
have one, Danny.

At least, uh, not in this port.

Wonderful dinner,
Shirley. Thank you.

I thought you
guys called it chow.

Do you have a
good-conduct medal?

No. Officers don't get them.

Why not?

Danny, the captain was just
telling us about the tropics.

Mmm.

You can't imagine how
beautiful the sunsets are.

And that tropical moon.

Almost as pretty as the
one we used to watch

at Muldune's Point.

You and Mom have
been to Muldune's Point?

You bet.

I even bought a
car to take her there.

I remember that car.

You should.

My sainted mother?

You'll have to excuse him.

The middle child
is always neurotic.

Let's get back to
Muldune's Point.

Let's not.

Captain, have you ever
seen the Mediterranean?

Oh, many times.

Athens, Naples.

Oh, how romantic.

Speaking of romance,

you remember the
night of the senior prom?

Mmm.

Your mother and I
didn't get home till : .

: ?

Well, you see, there was a long
waiting line at Muldune's Point.

Look, Captain,

I wish you'd clear these
memories with me first.

You'll be going back to sea,

and I'll have to stay home
and answer all these questions.

It's been wonderful, Shirley.

For me too, Chuck.

Kind of like picking
up where we left off

and never missing a day.

I guess that's the way
it is with old friends.

I guess so.

Like old times.

Good night. Good night, Chuck.

C'mon, take it easy, will
you? What's the big deal?

He kissed her. I saw it.

So what?

So... Right on the lips.

Right in the middle of the lips.

So?

So, she didn't even
slap him or anything.

Danny, Mom is a big
girl, just relax, will you?

Relax? How could I relax?

I tell you, this guy
means trouble.

They're old friends. It
doesn't mean a thing.

You didn't see him
kissed her like I did.

There wasn't even a full moon.

You got a lot to learn.

If you wait for a full moon, you'll
only get kissed times a year.

That's enough for anybody.

He'll probably never
see Mom again.

Why should he?

He came, he saw, he conquered.

Come in.

Good night, boys.

She ain't exactly
whistling Dixie.

He is so attractive, Mom.

Yes, he is.

Now, aren't you
glad that I called?

It was fun.

Well, I'll have to tell you. He's the
kind of man that I could really go for.

Like mother, like daughter.

What's the matter,
Danny? Didn't you like him?

Yeah, he was okay.

Your face certainly did turn red when
he started talking about prom night.

Yeah, you cut him
short on that one.

Mmm-hmm. And I'm going
to do the same thing right now.

Look, it was a
wonderful evening,

and I enjoyed
seeing Chuck again,

but that's the end of it. Nothing
is ever going to come of it.

You mean, all my hard
work just for one night?

Laurie, he is a very busy man.

He didn't come
here just to see me.

Hello?

Chuck.

No, no. It's not too early.

Tonight?

Well, I don't know.

Yes.

Yes, I'll love to.

Tonight would be fine.

All right.

See you then. I
look forward to it, too.

Bye.

Well, looks like you're
off to a good start.

That's what they
said about Nixon.

What time is your date?

: .

It's : . Maybe
he's standing you up.

I love a man who's punctual.

Hello, Chuck. Hi.

He's starting already.

Hi, kids.

Hi.

I was wondering what you'd
look like in civilian clothes.

What happened? Were you fired?

Danny!

No. We're allowed to
wear civilian clothes, Danny.

Ready?

Aye aye, Captain.

Everybody to bed early.

What time will you be home?

Maybe you'd like
to go with them.

You worry about your bedtime,
and I'll worry about mine.

Nicely put.

Don't worry, Danny. Your
mom will be in good hands.

That's what I'm afraid of.

I'll get it.

Shall we go? In a second.

Telephone for you, Captain.

Excuse me a second.

It's right over there, Captain.

Thanks, Keith.

What's the big idea?
You're embarrassing Mom.

I'm doing it for her own good.

What? She's in San Francisco.

Hey, that's great.
Can't wait to see her.

Oh, don't worry about her.
I'll leave her as soon as I can.

Yeah, she's been through a lot.

Five of them.

Well, she looks a lot
older than she really is.

Did you hear that?

I told you so.

Sorry. Let's go.

Good night, Laurie.
Good night. Have fun.

Thanks.

See you later.

Well, Danny, what
say we go bowling?

I can't. I hurt my thumb.

Oh! Yeah! Bowling. I
thought you said a movie.

No, they wouldn't.

I guess the gas shortage
is worse than I thought.

Oh, this spot is
still so beautiful.

Yeah, it is.

Never noticed it
before when I was here.

It was fun going back
to Ziggy's, wasn't it?

Were we ever really that young?

Those kids didn't look old
enough to be drinking milkshakes.

Get down. I don't
want them to spot us.

Good thinking.

Now, why don't you go out
and throw a tent over the bus?

This is the first time I've
ever been here as a spectator.

I wish I could see better.

Do you know how long it's
been since we were here?

For you, about years.

For me, about three weeks.

See anything?

Yeah. He just
moved in for the k*ll.

He only put his arm around her.

Well, that's the beginning
of the k*ll, isn't it?

You cold?

A little.

Oh, boy. That's it.

What?

He really means business now.

He's just putting up the top.

Maybe Mom's cold.

So why doesn't she tell
him to take her home?

We've got heat.

Oh, darn it. The window's
getting steamed up.

What?

Let's go.

Warmer? Yes. Thanks.

I like the privacy
better anyhow.

Mom! Mom! He's no good for you.

- Danny! Keith!
- What's going on?

That's what I'd like to know.

Mom... I'll handle this.

Okay.

Your mother's entitled to an
explanation, and make it fast.

Okay.

Mom, I tried to
spare your feelings,

but the Captain has a
girlfriend in San Francisco.

I heard him on the
telephone. That's right.

He's gonna meet her and dump you

because he thinks
you're... Too old.

Young man, in the
Navy, a ship is a she.

Now, the "she" in San Francisco

is a new flattop that
I'm gonna command.

The other "she" is my old ship,

which is about
ready for mothballs.

As you were, Captain.

Yeah. Be sure to stay out
as late as you want, Mom.

Yes. Uh, enjoy the view.

Well, I think we'll
be moseying along.

Good idea.

I'll deal with you at home.

I've done some
dumb things in my day,

but that's the dumbest.

It wasn't that dumb. It was
my fault as much as yours.

I feel like a fool.

I don't know why I did it.

I do.

You acted out of jealousy.

Jealousy? Mmm-hmm.

You were jealous because
someone was stealing your girl...

Mom.

How could Mom be my girl?

Mom's my mom.

Well, in here, she's your mom.

But in here, she's your girl.

All kids go through that.

Did you?

Sure, sure.

But now I love her in
a much different way.

We're the men in her life,
so we try to protect her.

Yeah. I've never
acted that way before.

Well... Maybe you're
just becoming a man.

You think so?

Mmm-hmm.

You know something?

I could sure use
some help around here.

Come in.

Oh.

Mom...

I don't know how to
apologize for tonight.

Try.

I guess I was jealous.

Jealous?

Yeah, you're my...

I mean, when I was a kid,

I used to think that
you were my girl,

and I guess I thought someone
was gonna take you away from me.

Danny, there's something that a
mother and her children feel for each other

no one can ever take away.

I guess that's what
Keith was trying to say.

I'll tell you a little secret.

What?

Some day I'm gonna feel
exactly the way you felt tonight

when some girl takes
you away from me.

I'm sorry I ruined
your evening, Mom.

Yeah, so am I.

Well, I'll forgive
you both this time.

But I'll tell you one thing,

next time, there better
not be a next time.

♪ I recall when I was young

♪ My papa said, "Don't cry

♪ "Life is full of ups and
downs like a roller coaster ride

♪ "There'll be times
you'll get so scared

♪ "Rollin' down these hills

♪ "But you hold on
tight with all your might

♪ "'Cause you don't
know what you feel"

♪ You go up, down, all around,
on a cycle that's never-endin'

♪ You got on this
train when you were born

♪ And the wheels
just keep on spinnin'

♪ Like a roller coaster
♪ Like a roller coaster

♪ Keeps going faster
♪ Keeps going faster

♪ I'm going past ya
♪ I'm going past ya

♪ Thrills are comin' at ya
♪ Thrills are comin' at ya

♪ Hey, up, down, all
around like a roller coaster

♪ I left home at just

♪ Thought I'd have some fun

♪ Hitched a ride
on a diesel truck

♪ Headed for Washington

♪ I know now what my papa meant

♪ When he told me heart to heart

♪ "Son, you'll find
out soon enough

♪ "Life is just an
amusement park"

♪ You'll thrill, like a kid

♪ You'll get so excited

♪ You hang on tight
with all your might

♪ As if your heart's ignited

♪ Like a roller coaster
♪ Like a roller coaster

♪ Keeps going faster
♪ Keeps going faster

♪ I'm going past ya
♪ I'm going past ya

♪ Thrills are comin' at ya
♪ Thrills are comin' at ya

♪ Hey, up, down, all
around like a roller coaster

♪ Up, down, all around

♪ All around, all around

♪ Up, down, all around

♪ On a cycle that's never-endin'

♪ You got on this
train when you were born

♪ And the wheels
just keep on spinnin'

♪ Like a roller coaster
♪ Like a roller coaster

♪ Keeps going faster
♪ Keeps going faster

♪ I'm going past ya
♪ I'm going past ya

♪ Thrills are comin' at ya
♪ Thrills are comin' at ya

♪ Hey, up, down, all
around like a roller coaster

♪ Like a roller coaster
♪ Like a roller coaster

♪ Keeps going faster
♪ Keeps going faster

♪ I'm going past ya
♪ I'm going past ya

♪ Thrills are comin' at ya
♪ Thrills are comin' at ya

♪ Like a roller coaster
♪ Like a roller coaster

♪ Keeps going faster
♪ Keeps going faster

♪ I'm going past ya
♪ I'm going past ya

♪ Thrills are comin' at ya
♪ Thrills are comin' at ya

♪ Hey, up, down, all
around like a roller coaster ♪

He better hurry. He's
gonna miss that plane.

He's just saying
goodbye to the kids.

Reuben, it's so nice of you
to drive him to the airport.

That's all right.

Hmm.

We're cutting it kind of close.

Well, I guess this is it.

Well, uh, I think
one of the three of us

should go wait in the car.

And I think I know
which one it should be.

I really hate to leave.

I'm sorry to see you leave.

Let's stay in touch with
each other this time.

I'd like that.

I'll be based in San Francisco.

It's a beautiful city.

Maybe we could see it
together some weekends.

I'd like that, too.

Goodbye, Shirley.

Goodbye, Chuck.

You know something?

It really has been
like old times.