[TV STATIC DRONES]
[BRIGHT TONE]
[THE MILK CARTON KIDS' "YOUNGER YEARS"]
♪ ♪
BOTH: ♪ Above the plains of Omaha ♪
♪ I think of all the sufferin' I saw ♪
♪ ♪
♪ The soakin' of the pavement ♪
♪ Sprawled upon a land without a law ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Everythin' I loved ♪
♪ Everythin' I found what I hoped for ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Frightened and surrounded ♪
♪ Who else is there
to turn to anymore? ♪
♪ ♪
Aunt May-May, Cousin Karl,
I gotta tell y'all, Peter Montgomery
is a evil Skeletor.
He is a very gross
person to be related to.
Worst uncle ever.
And that's saying a lot in this family.
I'm just glad you guys are okay.
Yeah, we are, thanks to you.
But no thanks to Daddy.
Pretty bold move not to
make that ransom payment,
Dr. Elijah Gemstone.
I'm just curious,
what the f*ck was going on in your head
when you made that call?
- I thought he was bluffing.
- Bluffing?
You'd make a piss-poor
poker player, muchacho.
I guess I still remember the old Peter.
I hoped that man was
somewhere inside him still.
[IMITATING MOCKINGLY]
[SCOFFS] Daddy, you know what?
Next time, save your gut feelings
and your hopes for the
horses, okay, Daddy boy?
Your kids' lives were in danger.
Well, he has no idea
what we went through.
I almost pooed in a bucket, Daddy.
I hate what you had to endure.
Damn ass little daddy.
I'm so sick of you.
How am I the bad guy in this?
You're not the bad guy in
this, Uncle Eli... I am.
And I'm really sorry.
I'm gonna do what I can
to make this right, guys.
At least you're owning it, Karl.
You hear that, Daddy?
Karl's being a big boy.
And as somebody who
has recently f*cked up,
I know how hard it is
to do what you just did
by saying you're sorry.
So apology accepted.
I forgive you, too, K-dog.
We all make mistakes.
But you, you on the good team now.
Karl, I think even I'm
ready to forgive you,
because you stepped up.
But f*ck Chuck.
Next time I see him, I'll end his life
if he doesn't end mine first.
- Nobody's k*lling nobody.
- We'll see.
Flying off the handle won't help.
Dr. Gemstone, I don't take
advice from you no mo'.
At this moment, I am not in the mood
to discuss this any further.
Perhaps we can make an arrangement
sometime in the future.
What are you looking at?
I'm not talking to him anymore.
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh. Okay.
Well, then that's what I'm gonna do too.
Ignored.
♪ Praise ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Praise ♪
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪ ♪
Cops gonna be all over this place.
Y'all need to move faster.
His damn fault we gotta
move in the first place.
Can't believe your brother
ran off with our hostages.
Y'all couldn't stop him?
Karl's a big boy.
I'd like to see you try stopping him.
Well, if it was me, I would've sh*t him.
[GROANS]
Spent all that time worrying about 'em
when they was kidnapped;
now they don't even wanna see me.
I'm sorry, May-May.
I've said terrible things about you.
I've said terrible
things about your sons
and about your family.
Then you almost...
Nearly got yourself k*lled
trying to save my kids.
Our kids.
Don't b*at yourself up.
Ain't like I'm not accustomed
to you being an assh*le, Eli.
It's sorta your default.
It don't shake me none.
[PENSIVE MUSIC]
Haven't always been kind to you, have I?
Well, you've been as kind to me
as I've been to you.
We just don't blow smoke
up each other's butts
like other people do, that's all.
I don't begrudge you for that.
I don't begrudge you, neither.
I guess that's just
how we do each other.
That's right.
[CHUCKLES]
- Come here.
- Oh.
All right.
[HORNS HONKING]
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪ ♪
[GROANS] What's he doing?
Does Peter even know
where the hell he's going?
Can Peter f*cking drive?
♪ ♪
Hey, Peter!
You think maybe we could
have a plan or something?
Don't even gotta be a good one.
You know, you sound like a woman
the way you piss and moan.
- I'm acting like a woman?
- Yeah.
You drive that damn
U-Haul like a woman!
- You're the woman!
- Stop calling me a woman!
You being a damn woman right now!
- Oh, yeah, woman?
- Stop calling me a woman!
You woman!
Can we please stop talking
about who's a woman for a minute
and figure out where we're gonna go?
I know where we're going! God!
Everybody gather 'round!
Get... all right, we're gonna pray!
Roll your eyes to the Lord? Wow.
All right.
Bow your heads... all of you!
[APPREHENSIVE MUSIC]
Dear heavenly Father.
We ask for your guidance today.
Calm these men and a
woman of their anxieties.
Give them the courage
to obey my commands.
Let them know that if
they don't listen to me,
they're going against your word,
'cause I'm the keeper of your word.
And anyone who challenges
me challenges you, dear Lord,
and any challengers of you
get sent straight to hell.
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
[BOTH SPIT]
The whole time you were in captivity,
I would light candles and just cry
while praying to God that if
I ever got to see you again,
I would do everything I
could to be a good husband.
Oh, BJ.
You're the best f*cking husband
I ever could've imagined.
And believe me, I
imagined quite a few...
Ryan Phillippe, Savion
Glover the tap dancer.
But you're better than all of them.
You're perfect.
I actually started thinking that maybe
all this stuff happened because
I wasn't enough for you?
No.
BJ, come on. You're more than enough.
I don't know, I got
wrapped up in all of it.
In being a famous singer, in
being a boss of the church.
I lost myself.
We're allowed to make mistakes.
Just as long as at the end of the day,
we have each other's back.
I will always have your back.
And I will always have yours.
Now, if I've learned one thing from you,
it's that no matter how crazy life gets
or turned upside-down,
sometimes, the best way to reset
is with a really good, deep f*cking.
Well, I could use a nice reset.
We both could.
[GENTLE MUSIC]
Oh, no. Son, are you okay?
I don't know, Daddy. I
think I might be drowning.
Oh, my gosh, I wish I had a chopper.
You do, Daddy. And it's right here.
[IMITATING HELICOPTER BLADES]
[LAUGHING]
It's time to take the controls, Daddy.
Yeah, I'm gonna fly the chopper
with my mouth.
[LAUGHING]
It was so scary, Keefe.
There were times I thought
I was gonna lose my mind.
Go mad.
You know, I can tell.
I can feel that stress and tightness
up here in your traps
all the way down to your glutes.
And our fight, by the way?
% my fault.
[SIGHS]
- I was such an A-hole.
- It's okay, brother.
I was just a bit jolted
to see you and Taryn
working so closely so
quickly right after I left.
So are, uh, you two dating?
- Spread.
- Nah.
She ain't my type.
Plus, I hated all the forced claps
and laughter and fun times.
I like doing claps
and laughters with you.
[CHUCKLES] Yeah. Same here.
I love getting the
children all zazzed up
and excited to learn
about Jesus with you.
Yeah. Totes agree.
I mean, Taryn was nice
and all, but she's not you.
She tried to be me,
but it was a failed try.
Bring 'em down, bring 'em down,
my little bird boxes.
And halt. Remove the blindfolds.
- Surprise!
- Holy sh*t!
- New -wheelers?
- You're damn right.
I got one for each of you.
Put your names on 'em and everything.
These things are so sick! Thanks, Dad.
Yeah, well, you're
welcome, my sweet family.
You know, after being kidnapped, uh,
I don't know, I just feel anew.
Just generous, like a changed man.
Yeah, we noticed the change.
The silver chops are back.
Silver chops? What are those?
Your sideburns. They're gray again.
Gideon, I appreciate
your heroics in a pinch,
but your attention to detail is way off.
These burns always been gray, fella.
No, I remember 'em black too.
Like, too black.
Two big, black dicks
dangling down the sides of your face.
At least you're back to
being your old self now.
An old fart.
Well, better an old fart
than a young piece of sh*t
who's made terrible life choices.
Like putting damn Super Mario Brothers
- on your f*cking arm.
- It's Stalin.
- It's stupid.
- Jesse.
What is all this?
I was insecure.
Felt like I didn't earn my place.
That made me threatened to share a stage
with my siblings, and even
share a stage with you.
I was being a shitty little bitch
about The System because it's a hit.
I was afraid it was gonna take
some of your attention away from me.
And that's a f*cked-up thing to think.
I support you, and I'm proud of you.
Thanks for having
patience and for making me
the man I am today.
You know, with age comes wisdom.
Hmm.
Except in Eli's case.
Him choosing not to pay that ransom.
I cannot believe that he did that.
Gideon, next time you
see your granddaddy,
I want you to tell him that I think
that he's a money-hungry bitch.
I'll try to express
that in my own words,
or maybe just in a softer way.
And if he f*cking tries to come back
and tries to talk sh*t about me...
- Mm-hmm. Mm.
- Just cr*ck his face.
I'm not gonna do that.
Daddy bonds are stronger
than granddaddy bonds.
Don't forget that.
[TRUCK HORN BLARING]
[TENSE MUSIC]
♪ ♪
- Uh, Pa?
- What?
Uh, Marshall here has some things
- he wants to talk to you about.
- No distractions.
Can't you see I'm trying
to build a detonator here?
Peter, uh, we're all
just a little concerned.
Seems like your whole operation
is slipping a little bit.
Oh, slipping, huh?
What, because we left
a dilapidated farm?
Uh, that's called "smart," Marshall.
That's called "staying ahead
of the opposition," okay?
- Strategic thinking.
- Maybe.
But, uh, you know,
since we ain't got a damn
sh*t at that ransom money now,
we just all kinda curious
what exactly your plan is going forward?
Well, I'd say, uh,
, pounds of ammonium nitrate
in the back of this truck here.
Yeah. Cool.
Well, maybe it's time to try out
some other fellers'
ideas since, you know,
yours don't seem to really be working.
[LAUGHS]
Is this about your dumbass
statue protest again?
You think it's dumb.
I think it's important.
Why would you travel around the country
protesting statues?
That is the silliest thing
I have ever heard in my life.
We ain't protesting statues, Peter.
We're protesting the people
protesting the statues.
These are monuments.
It's our culture and our heritage.
Hey, nobody cares
about your stupid
bullshit ideas, Marshall!
That will be all.
Return to your quarters.
We ain't got no damn quarters, Peter.
Well, then go s...
Sit in your f*cking truck and cool off!
♪ ♪
So that's how you talk to guys
you've known since prison now, huh?
No, that's how I talk
to ungrateful dummies.
Which is what you are.
[SIGHS]
Do you think that was wise, Pa?
You let me worry about that, all right?
sh**t me straight, Gideon.
Your dad's still pretty
sore at me, isn't he?
I think he's just been tired
and maybe a little bit moody
'cause of everything he's been through.
Well, I hope he knows, I hope you know
that I would've paid if I thought
their lives were in danger.
I knew they weren't.
You don't have to
explain to me, Granddad.
I trust you.
Everybody got home safe.
I can see why you wanna get away
from this family from time to time.
Without your grandma,
it's a pretty toxic affair.
It's not that I wanna
get away from the family.
I just wanna carve my own path.
Figure out what the hell it
is I intend to do with my life.
You mean you don't wanna
drive your old granddad around
for the rest of your life?
[LAUGHS]
There are worse things to do.
Yeah, there's a lot better
things to do too. [LAUGHS]
I'll tell you, when I
was a young man your age,
I never would've imagined myself
becoming a preacher.
That's a fact.
But you never know where life's
journey is gonna take you.
- [METAL RATCHETS]
- [SIGHS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SOFT SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
♪ ♪
[PHONE BUZZING]
- Chuck, what's going on?
- We moved.
I won't say where we are, so don't ask.
You really upset Pa, you know that?
You all escaping put us
in a real bad spot with the militia.
Everything's falling apart.
Some of 'em probably wanna put a b*llet
in Daddy's back now.
Chuck, just come home.
No.
What about Mama?
Is she sore at me?
I wasn't really gonna sh**t nobody.
Would you tell her that for me?
She knows that, Chuckie.
Just come back, please?
- I miss you.
- [PHONE BEEPS]
♪ ♪
- Hmm.
- Howdy.
- What's up?
- 'Sup what's up?
What the hell is all this?
Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
I ain't never been here
on a weekday before.
I'm like, "Where the
hell's the big table?"
Yeah, I guess they
bring the big table in
just for us special on Sundays.
Yeah.
It's crazy being back, isn't it?
You all been able to slip
back into your old lives?
Real talk, dude?
It's better than before I got kidnapped.
Makes everything snap into
focus, that's for sure.
Yeah. I feel the same way.
Like I can be more honest, you know?
True to myself.
Yeah, I can tell you're going
through some truthful stuff
'cause you got those gray chops back.
[BOTH LAUGH]
I guess I didn't realize
how old they make you look.
You look old, dude.
You know, I can totally see
why you were dyeing them.
Okay, well, if you two are finished
discussing the tones of my hair,
I'd like to discus something
a little more serious.
Our father, Elijah?
He does not love us.
All he cares about is money.
That's the harsh truth
that you two need to
get your heads around.
Look, all of us know that
our daddy's a dickhead, okay?
- BOTH: Yeah.
- That is a f*cking pill
that we always have
known we have to swallow.
Yes.
But we can't think about that anymore.
Because now is the time
for us to join together
to evolve into the independent,
free-thinking church
leaders that the three
have-have been here to always to know.
Oh, my God, what the f*ck
are you blathering about?
I am so lost right now.
I'm supposed to go back
to church this Sunday.
With everything that's happened,
it just seems like it'd be kinda lame
for me to be up there by myself.
Now, I know you two quit your jobs.
I just wanted to see if maybe
you were having second thoughts.
Maybe consider coming
back to the church.
[SOFT TENSE MUSIC]
I don't know who the hell
else you're gonna get.
Let me tell you this: we're family,
and I'm not gonna
leave you in the lurch.
Word. Kelvin?
You take back your quitting?
God dang, Kelvin.
Don't be trying to take
a long time to answer.
I'm not taking a long time.
I'm choosing my words.
And I've chosen them.
I take back my declaration to quit.
[LAUGHS]
I can't let you two go up there
and hog it all for yourselves.
Yeah! Put 'er there. Hands on hands.
- No, Jesse.
- Mm-mm.
Hands hold hands.
Hands hold hands?
But we're not that kind of family.
We never have been.
We're hands on hands.
Maybe it's time we shake some things up.
[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]
♪ ♪
[BOTH EXHALE]
[LAUGHS]
Holy sh*t.
Are we doing it?
I think we're doing it.
We're f*cking holding hands.
Ooh! Ooh!
Will it work if we hold them high?
[ALL SHOUT]
[LAUGHTER]
Did y'all jizz?
No?
- Uh...
- Me neither.
Surprise, surprise, chicken and fries!
Got good eats for everybody.
Fast food?
Is that all we're getting to eat?
Hey, Peter, can I
have two Fancy Sandies?
Everybody gets one sandwich,
one fry, and one shake.
Why can't I have two sandies, huh?
'Cause nobody gets two!
I'm hungry.
I said no, Jacob!
We gotta ration what we have, fellas.
Come on.
We was supposed to get million cash,
and now we can't even
barely afford fast food.
That about sums it up.
[MILITIA MURMURING AGREEMENT]
Boys, we have officially accomplished
zero of our goals.
Wrong!
We haven't accomplished our goals yet.
Your minds are weak with greed.
The devil has you salivating for cash.
Come on... we can still
accomplish our goals.
Now, why would we
wanna do that now, huh?
Like, why would we wanna
be out under a-a overpass
when we can't even eat a solid meal?
- Like, why?
- [MILITIA MURMURING AGREEMENT]
Wow, Jacob.
- You too.
- Just don't seem worth it.
All right, we wouldn't even
be dealing with this sh*t
if you hadn't let the
f*cking Gemstones escape.
[MILITIA SHOUTING AGREEMENT]
Well, well, Marshall.
Congratulations... You
turned 'em all against me.
We want you gone, Peter.
That's right.
You and Chuck.
We're seizing militia
funds to start a new group.
The Keepers of Yesterday's Monuments.
[MILITIA SHOUTING AGREEMENT]
Statue protests, that's what
you're spending money on.
Statue protests. Call
it what it is, okay?
So you gonna take all the funds,
you gonna take the
truck, the expl*sives,
and just leave us with nothing, huh?
Oh, we're taking the money,
but nobody gives a sh*t
about your little truck
filled with firecrackers.
[LAUGHTER]
All right, let's get out of here, Chuck.
I... we don't wanna stick
around where we're not wanted.
Take care, Peter. f*cking bye, man.
You drive save now.
f*ck outta the way.
f*ckers.
Dickheads!
[TENSE MUSIC]
[SHOUTS]
Well, Dr. Gemstone,
I wanna thank you very
much for coming here.
Now, as you know, I am Jesse's
spiritual mentor at the church.
I advise all these children of yours.
Part of that duty is helping them
to navigate very, very
difficult conversations.
Kids, we don't have to
talk through Baby Billy.
You can talk to me.
[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]
Eli, the Gemstone progeny
is very, very angry
that you were unwilling
to pay the ransom
when they was being held hostage.
Now, I got to say that I...
I was taken aback, too, Eli.
I mean, these are your children now.
I'm not doing this.
I know y'all got issues with me.
Say what you're gonna
say. I'm right here.
Daddy, you left us to die.
Uncle Peter would've
definitely k*lled any one of us,
if not all three.
Or he'd just mutilate
us and start mailing you
our body parts little by little.
Nipples, penis, butthole shavings.
- All our tender bits, Daddy.
- Hold on, now.
I advise you to speak through me.
Baby Bill, stay out of this.
Uncle Peter's right about you.
All you care about is money.
I thought you cared about the church,
but seeing as how you just
threw us into the deep end
and let us sink or swim
without giving a sh*t,
I see it has nothing
to do with the church.
You just about that money, boy.
You're right about the church
not being the most important thing,
but it's not money.
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
You're the most important thing to me.
Maybe sometimes it don't feel that way,
but it's true.
I only care about the money
because it ensures you kids
will always have the life
your mama and I wanted for you.
♪ ♪
[ALL MAKE FARTING NOISE]
That's some sentimental-ass
bullshit right there.
- Not buying it.
- Phony baloney.
What the f*ck are you smiling at?
What's so funny?
Look at you three.
You're doing it.
You're working together.
[CHUCKLES]
If it takes hating on
me as a common enemy,
so be it. It's for your own good.
Hate me if you want to.
If it means you work as a unified team,
I can die happy.
Thank you, kids.
This was nice.
♪ ♪
[CHUCKLING]
Okay, what? What just happened?
Why the hell's he leaving?
Where's he going?
Did he win or did we win?
What are you smiling at?
Now, I advised you to
speak through me, now.
Okay, Billy, you ain't no damn lawyer.
I was a paralegal once
in another life, for your information.
Paraplegic. Pfft.
Paraplegic? Watch this.
Walk right the f*ck outta
here is what I'm gonna do.
How about this?
Can a paraplegic do this?
Oh, God dang.
They gonna give us the boot?
Well, let's see how
that works out for 'em.
[EXCITING MUSIC]
_
♪ ♪
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪ Step into the light ♪
♪ Let his love shine in your eyes ♪
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ For our righteous lives ♪
♪ So alive ♪
They're cheering for us.
Look, they're even up in the high seats.
- Yeah, they are.
- This is nuts.
Why'd they even come?
What do you think? They wanna
hear about our struggle.
We can finally play the victim.
♪ When there is nothing left to say ♪
♪ And all the clouds have faded away ♪
♪ And my mind wanders out there ♪
[SIRENS WAILING]
[SHOUTING]
♪ Just to be there in the morning ♪
♪ With the sun coming
through the trees ♪
♪ Well, you know there
ain't no other place ♪
♪ I'd rather be ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Sunday sunny Mill Valley groove day ♪
♪ ♪
♪ You can feel the magic in the air ♪
♪ ♪
♪ And when it's over ♪
♪ And the clover has
left the mountainside ♪
♪ You'll be king ♪
♪ Of what you survive ♪
Where are we going, Pa?
Going to church, Chuck.
♪ ♪
♪ Sunday sunny Mill Valley groove day ♪
[WHISTLING]
[TENSE MUSIC]