23x03 - Flagpole Jitters

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[ALL SNORING]

[ALL HUM]

[ALL BABBLING]

[CLANGING]

Hey, it's Mary!

[CLANGING IN MORSE CODE]

[YAWNING]

Come on!

What's she sayin'?
She says she wants breakfast.

Tell her we'll bring it
as soon as we shave and dress.

That's a dot...
Dot...

Dash-dash...
Dash-dash...

Dot-dot...
Dot...

Hey, cut it out, will you?

Does my head look like
a steam pipe?

No, a steam pipe
hasn't got ears!

Besides,
what are you beepin' about?

All I did was hit you
like this.

It was harder than that.

Well, at the most,
it was only like this.

It was much harder
than that.

I'll show you.

See?

[GASPING]

Take it easy, kid.

Hey, hey, hey.

Break it up, you guys.
We gotta go to work.

Mary's waiti''
for breakfast.

We gotta shave, and you guys
are playing games.

Shut up.

[LAUGHS]

Oh!

Come on, you.

[SINGING]

Hike!
Hike!

MOE:
Hike!

[SNORTS]

Right.

Your face
is too sharp.

MOE:
Hurry up with those hot towels.

Hot towels, comin' up.

Oh.

Oh.

Towel!

Towel!

Towel!

Shampoo!
Shampoo!

Powder!
Powder!

Take a powder.
Go on.

Nice, beautiful
talcum powder.

Schlemiel number .

[SNEEZES]

Hey, hurry up with Mary's
breakfast, you guys.

Oh, I gotta have
a mixing bowl.

Ah. Let's see...

Eh, too small.

This'll do--

What stupid, imbecilic fool
put that u--? I did.

Oh, am I dumb.

You lamebrain!
Fried eggs?

Mary likes 'em
scrambled!

I ought to mash you
like a potato.

Hey, Moe, where'd you get
the sunglasses?

I bought 'em.
Get outta here and get busy.

I'll take care of this.

Let me see now.
The coffee grinder.

Yeah.

There we are.

Ah. The old lard.

Ha, ha.

Yes, sir.

One...

two...

three...

That's fine.

Hen-fruit!

Now I'll scrabble them.

[SINGING]

Go on, nitwit.
Set that table up

so Mary can have
her breakfast. Hurry up.

All right.

[BABBLING]

Go on. Get outta here.
I'm goin', I'm goin'.

Oh.

Oh, yeah?

Oh, gettin' to be
a wise guy, huh?

There you are.

There you a--

[CHUCKLES]

[BABBLING]

[LAUGHING]

Uh, you jockhead.

What's the matter
with you?

This thing is haunted.
Every time I lift the legs,

they jump back.
You're an imbecile.

There's nothin' wrong
with it, I'll show you.

One, two,

three, four.

Now get this table set.

Go on.
Cut it out.

Funny, you stay up for him.

[YELLS]

Oh.

[SCREAMS]

Oh, my finger! Where's
my finger?

Where's my finger?!

Oh, there it is.
Oh, a wise guy, eh?

[BARKING]

Remember, no tricks.

Wait'll you see what we got
for breakfast this morning.

Nice cold hotcakes
smothered in vinegar.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
Come in.

How do you do?

I'm the new adjuster from
the Calamity Insurance Company.

How do you do?
Oh, so you're the crook

that's been holdin' out
on this kid.

Everybody knows
that you owe her dough.

Why don't you pay her?
She's a cr*pple.

Come on, now,
start somethin'.

Bop you,
that's what I ought to do.

Why, I'll give it
to you good, boy.

sh**t one that way.

You know, I just--
sh**t one that way.

Whoa, boy.

What are you gonna do
about it?

Where is he? Oh.

You're gettin' smart, eh?

Oh, a little harder, eh?

Oh, a wise guy.

So you meant it, eh?

[SCREAMS]

Cut out this nonsense.

Now, never mind
that insurance crook, Mary.

We got a job, we'll earn
enough money for your operation

and you'll walk again.

We're working for the Garden
theater, pasting up posters.

And we better get to work
before we get fired.

Oh,
you're in a hurry, eh?

All right, open that door,
mister!

Get goin'.
All right.

[GRUNTS]
Come on.

[PIANO PLAYING]

Why we have so many rehearsals,
I don't know.

The insurance companies are
all alike. You don't tell me.

They're liable.
They're liable not to--

Oh.

Don't get excited, miss.

Wait a minute.
There you are.

There you are, toots.
Good as new.

Well, you eat it.

Come on, Mary.

Always causing trouble.

Oh, shut up.
Come on.

[WHISTLING]
Wow.

We better change
our clothes.

[ALL GRUNTING]

Which one of you slammed
that door shut?

Not me.

Say,
maybe a cyclone did it.

Yeah, maybe it just
blow shut like this.

Yeah.

Was it like that?

Yeah, it was exactly like--
Ow!

Hey, what's the idea?

Come on, get dressed!
All right, I'll get dressed.

Wait a minute, wait--

There's no room for all--

[BABBLING]

Now, behave yourself.
Get dressed.

Say, did you guys
slam that door?

Yeah.
What about it?

Nothing, you can slam it
any time you like.

[CHUCKLES]

[SCREAMING, CRASHING]

Come in.

Hiya, boss.
Hey, boss.

Look at those headlines.

"During daylight robbery,
nets bandits $ , .

"Huge reward offered
for captured gunmen.

Police rounding up suspects."

Hey, boss. I'm scared.

That big fat cop got a good look
at us as we made our getaway.

Relax, we're in show business.
No one would suspect

the Great Svengarlic
and his troop.

Right, and we're all set
to knock off

the Gottrox
Jewelry Company.

In minutes the Gottrox
Company closes for lunch.

I'll do my hypnotic act
in front of the theater

to attract the crowd
and occupy the cops

while you boys
blow up the safe.

Now, this is the plan.

Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh!

Why you...

[BOTH GRUNTING]

I hear bells.

Jingle bells?

Cowbells.

Let's try
for jingle bells.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

Still cowbells.

I'll fix that.

[JINGLING]

I hear 'em,
I hear 'em!

Jingle bells,
Jingle bells!

Let's hurry
and get these posters up.

Yeah,
we're late now.

Hey, Larry. Did you--
Oh!

What's the matter with you?
Oh!

What's the matter with me?

Oh!
What's goin' on?

Why, you nitwit, you!

Get busy or I'll pulverize you.
Go on!

All right!
I'm the only guy

that does anything
around here.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[MOE COUGHING]

Why, you...

You nitwit, you!

What's the matter
with you?

Give me that brush.

You're absolutely useless.

Hey--

[BABBLES]

I'm sorry, kid.
Why don't you look

what you're doin'?
I said I'm sorry, so shut up!

Go on,
get that thing up

or I'll knock your brains out!
All right.

Hurry up.
Okay, don't be a--

Line 'er up!
I got it...

There we go.

Okay. "Here this week,
the Great Hypnotist Svengarlic.

He'll steal
your breath away."

I tell you it's gonna work.

All I need is someone
to hypnotize.

Hey.

Hey, wait a minute.
I got an idea.

You?
Yeah.

Maybe we can get this Svengarlic
to hypnotize Mary

and make her walk.

MOE:
Ah, that hypnotism stuff
is the bunk.

I'll bet I can hypnotize you
and make you do anything.

For instance,
look me in the eye.

Hocus, pocus, pocus, hocus.
Alacadabra.

Tsk.

Tsk. Tsk.

You are now in New York.

I am now in New York.

You are now in Sing Sing.

I am now in Sing Sing.

You are now in Boston.

I am now in Sing Sing.

You can't get
this guy outta Sing Sing.

Good, that's just
where he belongs.

[CHUCKLES]

[GRUNTS]

"That's where
he belongs", eh?

I'll tear you
limb-from-limb.

Just what the doctor ordered.

[STOOGES ARGUING]

I'm sick and tired
of this nonsense, so cut it out.

I hope you numbskulls
are convinced

that this hypnotism
is a fake.

You are wrong,
my friends.

Look me in the eye,
straight in the eye.

In the eye.

In the eye.

MAN [ON PA]:
Ladies and gentlemen,

the Great Svengarlic
will now demonstrate

the most amazing manifestation
of hypnotism ever performed.

Watch that flagpole
on the insurance building

across the street.

You are still
under my spell.

Come out. Come out.

Walk out on the flagpole.

Walk. Walk. Stop!

You will now start dancing.

Dance. Dance.

Light it.
SVENGARLIC: Dance. Dance.

Dance. Dance.

Dance. That's the way. Dance.

Good grief!
Svengarlic has been injured.

Speak to me.
Svengarlic, say somethin'.

The boys are up
on the flagpo-- The boys.

Hey! What's that crowd
doin' down there?

[ALL MUMBLING]

[SCREAMING]

Let go of my legs!
Let go of my legs!

What do you think,
I got wings?

You don't let go, I'll hit you
on the head with this flagpole!

I'm slippin'!
Shemp, hold still.

I'll spit on my hands
and get a new hold.

I-- Whoa!

No!

[SCREAMING]

[SCREAMING]

Ah! Hey, Moe!

What's goin' on?
I feel a draft!

Moe!

Hey, Moe!

Where are you? You're
inside-out!

[GROANING]

Moe.
Moe, don't move.

[CHATTER]

How you doin'?
Okay.

You up?
Oh. Oh.

[ALL MUMBLING]

[SCREAMING]

[expl*si*n]

Well,
if it ain't the bank bandits.

Bank bandits?

They tried to k*ll us.

You captured them,
that's what counts.

And the reward
for these robbers

is a real handsome one,
I'll tell you.

Come along, here.

Did you hear that?
Reward.

Now Mary can have
her operation.

Let's go and tell her.
Yeah.

Good. Will she be happy
to hear that.

Oh!

[GRUNTING]

Doggone it!

[ALL GRUNTING]

[♪♪♪]