20x02 - Booty and the Beast

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[CAR SPUTTERING]

[ENGINE BOOMS]

Don't! Don't sh**t!

I give up. I give...

Oh, I think we're out of gas.

Joyriding again, eh?

Why don't you try the choke?

Thanks, I will.

[GASPING]
Hey, leave him alone.

Oh!

Hey, there's a guy in front
of that house.

We'll ask to use his phone
so we can call the garage.

Pardon me.

Oh!

Wait for us.

How do you do?
Good evening, sir. How are you?

That's enough.
Pardon me, sir.

May we use your phone?
We just ran out of gas.

Why, certainly, gentlemen.

That is,
if you can open my door.

I... I seem to have
forgotten my key.

Well, we can just climb in
that window upstairs.

What? Oh, that's very generous
of you. Thank you.

Come on, give me boost.
All right, get movin'.

Larry, bend over.
Shemp, you get up there.

All right.
Up you go.

Ugh!

MOE: Up you go, there.
SHEMP: I'm comin' up.

SHEMP: I'm comin' up.
MOE: Up you go.

[SPITS]

Clumsy ox.

Hey, how do you spell "garage"?
With a G or a J?

With a G, you idiot.
G-A-R-A-J.

Oh.

Fine speller
you turned out to be.

"G-A-R-A-J."

Don't you know there's an E
on the end of it?

Oh. You just made that up.
Pfft.

Go on. Go.
Get out of here.

[METAL JANGLING]
Oh! Oh.

[METAL JANGLING]

Hey, mister, what have you got
in this thing, silver dollars?

I wish there was.
As a matter of fact,

I went broke
gambling at Las Vegas.

Came home to get
some more money.

Money gives me itchy palms.
Ha-ha.

Oh! Oh! Oh!
Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, why all the tools?

Uh, why, uh,

I must have picked up
the wrong satchel at the depot.

And the combination of my safe
was written on a piece of paper

that was in my own satchel.

Now, uh, how will I open
the safe?

Well, our old man
used to open safes

with nitroglycer-eenie. Ha.

You remember that first "poof"?

Maybe you boys could do the same
for me?

We'll try.
Good.

And by a strange coincidence

there happens to be some
expl*sives in that satchel.

Say, if I didn't know
you was a gentlemen,

I'd swear you was a safecracker.

Ha-ha. That's the funniest thing
you ever said.

[STOOGES LAUGH]

Well, go to work, boys.
Now, I'll go outside

and keep a lookout...
I-I mean, uh,

get a breath of fresh air.
And please hurry, won't you?

I have to catch the : train
for Las Vegas.

: , you're a cinch.

Okay, fellas,
move the furniture.

Get busy, now.

[TOOLS CLANGING]

All right, Larry,
set up the drill.

Okay.
Here you are, chiseler.

Chisel the knob off that
combination there.

How do you like that?

I gotta do the work while
all he does is gives the orders.

He's a wise guy.
Believe me, when I...

[GRUNTING]

Let me tell you,
you're always hollering,

"Do this, do that."
You never do nothin' yourself.

All the time you tell...

Aw, shut up and get over there.

Aww.
Get busy.

All right. Orders, orders,
nothin' but orders.

That's all I ever get
is orders.
Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

That's dynamite, you idiot.
Do you want to blow us all up?

Hold that.

Oh! Oh, it's a good thing
I've got a soft head.

What would happen
if it exploded?

It would just go "poof."
How do you like that?

Uh...

[GRUNTS]

MOE:
Now, you pay attention
to what I tell you,

or I'll push that eye
right through

to the other side of your head.
Hey, hey, Moe,

notch that steel so the drill
won't slip, and we'll drill it.

Okay.
Now, here,

hold this nitroglycerin,
and put it in a safe place,

if you don't want us to be blown
to hamburgers.

All right, all right.
Now, get this, now.

What's wrong...
Oh, I didn't plug it in.

[SCREAMS]

Ow! Ow! Why don't you drill
where you're lookin'?

Why don't you look
where I'm drilling?

Why don't you two shut up?

Oh!
Give me that drill.

[YELPS]

Give me that drill, you,
I'll m*rder you.

I'll jam it in your face.

Mush! Mush!

Yank it out. What's the matter?
You weak?

Yeah.
Oh!

[SPITTING,
TEETH CLACKING ON GROUND]

Boys, you'd better step back.

I think we'd better step back
a little further.

[LAUGHS]

So long, suckers.

[ALL GROANING]

What happened?

My leg.
Moe, Larry, I blew my leg off.

Moe, I blew... What's the matter?

Oh, I blew my leg off.
Oh, poor kid. This is terrible.

We'd better
get him to a hospital.

Take it easy.
Oh. Easy, easy.

Don't worry, kid,
we'll get you a new leg.

You'll be dancing in six months.

That's good.
I never could dance before.

Just a minute, I forgot my hat.

Okay, boys, let's go.

Oh! Oh, my leg!
My leg!

Oh.
Oh, my leg is okay.

Your leg.

[SLAPPING]

MOE:
Now, listen, you,

cut out this monkey business
or you're gonna get...

What's going on? The neighbors
said there'd been an expl*si*n.

Yeah, we just blew the safe
for the owner of this house.

Oh, yeah?
The owner's in Europe.

Europe? Ha-ha-ha.
He's taking a train to Las...

Come along quietly.
You'll get years for this.

Oh, my heart.

What's the matter with him?

Every time he gets excited
his heart goes "poof."

Nice work, Moe.
Listen,

we've got to find that crook
and recover that money

if we don't want to go to jail.

He said he was taking the :
train to Las Vegas.

Let's go.
We can grab him at the train.

Wait a minute.

I don't want this guy
to catch a cold.

Oh, come on, come on.
Let go of me, let go of me.

Look out.

[BELLS DINGING]

Whew.
We just made it.

Hey, the train's moving
and we got no money for tickets.

So what? We'll grab him,
jump off the train

and take him with us.

Yeah, he won't give us
the slip again.

Right. We search
the train carefully

and give everybody a close, uh...
A close...

Say, what's a good word
for scrutiny?

Scrutiny.
Thanks. Be quiet.

I don't see him anywhere.
Maybe he's disguised.

Psst.

I'll bet that's him.
Take it off.

[SNORING]

[WHOOPING, BARKING]

What is that, a cocker spaniel?

No, I think he's just a spaniel.

[BARKS]

That's not him.

Here he is, he's disguised
with a phony beard.

Ow!

You idiots!

[ALL GRUNT]

[GROANING]

Tickets, please.

Oh, tickets.
Oh, tickets.

Oh, tick... Oh, yes.

We left them right here in the
drawing room. Right this way.

[LAUGHS]

[GIRL SCREAMING]
CONDUCTOR: Ah!

[GRUNTS]

GIRL: Go away!
[SLAPPING]

CONDUCTOR:
Ow! Ow! Oh, take it easy, lady.

Oh.

Oh.

CONDUCTOR:
Hey, you, come here.

[BOTH YELLING]

Come here, come here.

Hey, that conductor's after us
so we better hide.

Hey. Get in here, fellas.
Come on.

Phew.
We'll be safe in here.

Yeah, we'll wait until
the conductor goes

and then we'll find him.
Yeah, shh.

[GROWLING]

What's the matter,
you got indigestion?

No, I feel fine.

Then it must be you. Why don't
you take a bicarbonate of soda?

Why don't you shut up?
You want to give us away?

Don't be silly.
We're safe as babies in here.

[GROWLS]

Shh. I'm sure I hear something.
[SNIFFS]

I smell something awful.
You telling me?

Why don't you use cologne?

Shh. Listen.

[GROWLS]

Stop breathing down my neck.

I ain't breathing.
Then it must be you.

How can I be breathing down
your neck on that side

when I'm on this side?
Shut up.

Well, maybe there's a draft
behind us. And...

[GASPING]

[ROARS]

[ALL SCREAMING]

[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]

I'm paralyzed.
I can't move.

Nevertheless, we got to find
that crook.

You'll never find him now,

all the berths are made up
and everybody is asleep.

That's good, and that's just
what we're gonna do, sleep.

For once in your life,
you're right.

We'll get that crook
in the morning.

Ahh.

Oh.

Take it easy, boys.

Which way is the train going?
I'm going to sleep this way.

Aw, sleep that way.

Ah.

[MAN HUMMING]

[GROWLS]

[ROARS]

[SCREAMING]

Ow!

[ROARS]
Ow!

Help! Help!

Help, I'm losing my mind.

[SCREAMING]

[ALL SNORING]

[LOW WHOOPING]

[MOE LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

What's the idea?
Stop tickling my foot.

I didn't touch your foot.

You did too. Come on up here
and sleep with us.

Hey, wake up and go to sleep.

Yeah, wake up, sleep.
Yeah, come on.

All right.
Under the covers.

Move over.

[ALL SNORING]

Hey, get your big feet
off of me.

I ain't got my feet on you.
You got your feet on me.

Get them off.
I said, get the feet off.

Get yours off of me first.

Aw, will you guys keep quiet,
or I'll go over there...

[ROARS]

[WHIMPERS]

[GASPS]

[STOOGES SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]

MAN :
What's going on?

MAN :
Oh, look a lion.

[PASSENGERS SHOUTING
INDISTINCTLY]

Boy, that was close.
Whew.

Hey, it's him.
You dirty crook.

[ALL GRUNT]

Why, you...
There he goes, down here.

[BOTH GRUNT]

Why, you...

LARRY:
There he is!

You surround him, we'll shut him
off on this end. Go ahead.

Oh.

Oh, it's Shemp.
Shemp.

How do you like that?

Say a couple of adjectives.

Quiet.

[GROANS]

It's him, that crook.

He's out.

Oh, boy, we get the money.
Wait a minute.

We'd better divide it in case
something happens

before we get a chance
to return it.

There's one for you,
there's one for you,

and there's one for me.

[GROANS]

And one for you.

I want the bonds.
Give me the bonds.

That's what I'm out for.
Come on. Hold your horses.

I want it now, this minute.

Tsk-tsk.
That's what I want, right now.

Well, you got 'em.
Oh!

MOE:
Get out.

How do you like that? I feel
like a piece of French toast.

Thirty-one...

[LAUGHS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

You fellas ain't mad?

No.
No.

[ALL LAUGH]

Mad, eh? Who's mad?

Mad, huh? Mad, huh?

Give him the eggs, eh?

How do you like that?

[♪♪♪]