26x01 - Triple Crossed (1959)

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Hello ♪
♪ Hello ♪

♪ Hello ♪

ALL:
Hello.

[♪♪♪]

[BARKING]

Hi, Shorty.
Did you miss me?

Huh?
Come on.

[BARKING]

[SIGHS]

Boy, I'm tired.

And I'm hungry too.

These look so good.

[SHORTY BARKING]

Doggies don't get
cookies either.

Mm.

Surprise!

You again.

In person, Millie,
my little dilly.

And I brought you
some flowers.

Thank you.

Don't mind
if I do.

Hey, Millie, how about having
dinner with me tonight?

I have a date
with Joe.

You know
we're engaged.

You're a sucker,
Millie.

You know he's
not true to you.

He's a playboy.

I don't believe you.

Nevertheless,
it's a fact.

You're too good
for that chiseler.

[CRUNCH]

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Serves you right
for lying about my Joe.

Yeah, someday you'll catch
that two-timer red-handed

and you'll know
I wasn't lying.

Goodbye.
Goodbye.

Ooh.

Goodbye.

Oh.

Joey, darling.

Sugarplum.

Baking a cake.

Mm-hm. For you.

Did you
bag anything?

Yes, sirree,
I sure did.

A turkey.

Did you really
k*ll it?

Sure did.

Now no fibs,
Joey.

How many sh*ts?

None.
None?

Hit it
with my car.

Hang on,
Joe.

[CHIRPING]

Stand back. I'll get it
before it flies away.

The barrel
must've been bent.

Ooh, that makes me so mad--

Ow! Ooh!

Never mind.
You can take me out

for a turkey dinner.

Well, uh--

Oh, I forgot
you're out of a job.

We'll eat here.
Thanks.

Larry was here today.

Why that
two-timing chiseler.

That's funny.

You say he's a chiseler,

but he says
you're just a playboy.

Are you?
No.

That fuzzy-top
porcupine.

If I catch him, I'll--
I'll brain him--

Ooh.

Oh.

Hey, that's good.

[INTERCOM BUZZES]

Good morning,
Miss Lapdale.

Good morning,
Mr. Larry.

Uh, take a letter,
Miss Lapdale.

Yes, Mr. Larry.

I'm ready.

To my Siamese
representative.

Mr. R. Me.

Dear Me.
Uh--

I, uh--
I--

Aye, aye, aye,
aye, aye.

[LARRY AND LAPDALE GIGGLING]

Hey.

Wait a minute.

Trying to steal
my wife away from me, eh?

I'll tear you apart,
you philandering porcupine.

You keep away from my wife
or I'll tear this cucumber off

and shove it
down your throat.

Wait a minute.
I never saw your wife.

Oh, yeah?

I found this
in my wife's purse.

LARRY:
Oh, that.

That's my
Christmas ad.

I give it to
all my customers.

I never saw
your wife.

I'm engaged
to three beautiful girls.

Ask my secretary.

Oh, well, I--
I just--

Oh, take it easy,
will you, pal. Here.

Sit down
and calm yourself.

Thanks very much.
Yeah.

Ah!
Oh.

I'm sorry.

Wait a minute,
take it easy.

How about a cigar?

I don't smoke.

Well, get something
to calm yourself.

You want a drink?

I don't drink.

But I'll have a little birdseed
if you don't mind.

That always clams
my nerves.

[SWALLOWS]

[CHIRPING]

Say.

I used to be
a private detective,

and as a favor
to you,

I'll try to find
this chiseler

who's trying
to steal your belle.

Belle!

How did you know
her name was Belle?

Wait.
You know.

All women
are belles.

Like belle
of the ball.

Oh, I'm sorry, pal.

I'm too impetuous
and jealous, I guess.

That's
all right.

I'll try to find
this chiseler.

And when I find him,
I'll let you know.

And when you get
your hands on him,

give him this,
and that, and this,

and this,
and this,

and this,
there.

Oh, thanks.

You're certainly a pal.
It's all right.

And when you find him,
give him this too.

Oh, oh, oh.

Whew.
What a narrow escape.

He suspects
Belle and I.

I gotta find myself a fall guy
before he gets wise.

My fall guy.

LARRY:
Hello. Yes, yes.

I appreciate that.
Thank you.

Just the guy
I'm looking for, Joe.

Just the guy
I'm looking for.

Hey.
What's the idea?

You big
hunk of blubber.

What do you think
you're doing?

You told my girl,
Millie,

that I was a playboy.

You're a fine friend.

Hey.

I just got you a job
with Plotnik.

Isn't that
being a friend?

Forgive me,
Larry.

Forgive me
for misjudging you.

I'm an--
I'm an ingrate.

I hate myself.

[SNIFFING]

[NOSE HONKS]

There, there.

I got you a job selling
men's custom-made underwear

and novelties,
and Santa Claus suits.

I'll get you
the card.

Oh, boy.
A job.

Santa Claus
suits.

Oh, boy.
I'm gonna be a--

Look, look.
You're all set.

Here's your
first customer.

My pal
Moe's wife.

There's
the address.

Gee. Gee, Larry, thanks.

I'll-- I'll never
forget you for this.

I'm sure
you won't.

Hey,
wait a minute.

Have a sandwich
before you go.

Don't mind
if I do.

Boy,
I'm starved.

I'll enjoy this.

[CROAKS]

Ah!

[SCREAMS]

Here's
that last bulb.

I'll get this in,
then I'll be finished.

Oh, be careful,
Moe, dear.

You might fall.

[WHISPERS]
I hope.

Why, Belle, baby.

The only one
I'd ever fall for is you.

[LAUGHS]

[ELECTRICITY SIZZLES]

[SCREAMS]

[LOUD CRASH]

[SIGHS]

Clumsy ox.

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS]

[GROANS]

[MUFFLED SCREAMS]

Oh, Moe, what is
the matter with you today?

[MUFFLED SCREAMS]
Good-- Oh!

Ah.

[COUGHS]

Oh, thanks,
darling.

Oh, thanks,
nothing.

Say, you'd better finish
the tree.

I got an appointment
and I'm late.

Ah.

Kiss me goodbye,
darling.

Ah, I'll see you later.
Oh, my hat.

[SCREAMS]

Oh, you clumsy idiot.

[DOORBELL BUZZING]

Yes?

Hello, madam.
Larry Fine sent me

regarding undergarments
for your husband for Christmas.

Oh, yes,
he phoned me.

Won't you
come in?

Thanks.

Nice place
you have here.

Thank you.

Silly.

I also sell
Santa Claus suits.

Now here's the latest
creation from Paris.

A dilly.

My, they're rather cute.

Would you mind
modeling them for me?

I don't mind
if I do.

All right.
You may go in there.

But, Millie,
it's true.

You go to the address
like I told you,

you'll find out
what a two-timer Joe really is.

Is he there now?

Yeah, get over there. Okay.

Now to call Moe.

Whew,
what a long prefix.

Hello, Moe.

This is
your pal Larry.

You get over to your apartment
right away,

you'll find the guy that's
been breaking up your home.

Yeah, right now.
Go ahead.

Okay.

[CHUCKLES]

Any man
would like this.

You can wear it for a sun suit,
underwear or anywhere.

[DOORBELL BUZZING]
Oh, pardon me.

Well, where is he?

Where is that
faithless Joe?

BELLE: Who?
MILLIE: Don't act so innocent.

You're not fooling me.

BELLE:
Well, just a moment.

I'm gonna look
for myself.

No use
lying to me.

Larry told me
he was here with you.

That double-crossing
skunk, Larry.

Do you know
Larry?

Yes, and I suppose I'm gonna
have to marry him after all.

Over my dead body.

Mine too.

What was that?

Well, I--

[KEYS RATTLING]

I'll m*rder him!
Moe!

Where is he?

I'll m*rder him!
I'll tear him to pieces!

That's what I'll--

Ow!

Help.

Help me out.
Help.

Help. Ow.

Ow.

Well, shrink your head.
Pull in your ears.

Ow.

MOE:
Help. Help me out. Ow.

Oh.

Oh.
Oh, my nose.

[GRUNTS]

Oh, my nose.

He's in here someplace.

I'll find him.

Where'd you hide him?

Which way did he go?

Thanks, buddy.

Come down
or I'll sh**t.

[JOE SCREAMS]

I got him.
Oh.

MILLIE:
Moe.

Take is easy,
Moe.

Come on,
Moe.

Moe?

Merry Christmas,
everyone.

Merry, merry,
merry.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

I hope you all have
a merry, merry, Merry Christmas

Me-me-me-me-me-me--

Joe.

Oh, you snitch.

So you're
the triple-crosser

that's trying
to ruin my home, huh?

I'll get you.

[GRUNTS]

So!

Oh!

Oh.

I'll get you,
you home wrecker.

Where is he?

MOE:
Where is he?

That dirty rat.

I'll m*rder him.

Oh!

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[SQUEALING]

[WHISTLES]
Huh?

Psst!

Oh!

I'll get you.
I'll get you.

Get in there.

JOE:
I'll get you. I'll get you.

That's what you get
for tripping me.

BELLE:
I don't know what
you're talking about.

He must've
come back in here.

I'll fill him full of holes.
Give me that.

You'll sh**t somebody.
Turn me loose, I tell you.

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.

You double-crosser.

Wait--
You chiseler, you.

Wait a minute,
Joe.

Look what Santa Claus
brought you.

This rat sent me here
to sell underwear

so you could
catch me here.

He also phoned me and said that
Joe was here with your wife.

Why you--
He phoned me too.

Why you--
Oh!

Why you--

Ooh!

Stop.
Don't hit him.

Thanks.

Let me do it.

Good, good.
Oh, doll face.

Doll.

Ow!

You snake
in the grass.

You skunk.

You--

Philanderer?

I can't say
philanderer.

You mixed me up.
Where was I?

Skunk.
Oh, yeah.

You--
Ow!

--dirty baboon.
[CRYING]

[HAIR RIPPING]

You see?
I'm no playboy.

I think.

[♪♪♪]