14x06 - Sing a Song of Six Pants

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

[GRUMBLING]

That is the toughest spot
I ever tackled.

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]

LARRY:
Shemp, give me a hand,
will ya?

I can't now.
I gotta finish my pants.

MOE:
Hey, fellas,

listen to this letter.

"Gentlemen--"
That ain't for us,

we're not gentlemen.

Speak for yourself.
Oh.

"Gentlemen,
this is to inform you

"that unless overdue payments
for tailoring equipment

'are made within hours,

"we will repossess
said equipment.

"Balance now due: $ . .

"Skin & Flint
Finance Corporation.

I. Fleecem, president."

They'll put us
out of business.

What'll we do?
You guys worry about that.

I'm too young to worry

and get wrinkles
on my pretty little face.

What we need is a little music
to cheer us up.

[STATIC CRACKLING]

REPORTER [ON RADIO]:
News flashes.

Police are frantically
scouring the town

in search of Terry
"Slippery Fingered" Hargan.

Hargan has robbed his th
consecutive safe in nine days.

A large reward is offered
for his capture.

Does your car have indigestion?

Does it burp in the morning?

Try Noburpoline,

the only gasoline containing
bicarbonate of soda.

[SHUTS OFF RADIO]

Hey, Moe,
why don't we capture Hargan

and collect the reward?

Then we can pay our bills.

Oh, it's as simple
as all that.

Hargan is gonna walk
right in here

and let you capture him.

You're nuts.

We're gonna be paupers,
paupers.

Are you kiddin'?
We're not even married.

[PLINK]
Why don't you be quiet?

Ooh.
Think.

[GROANS]

Well, anyway,
I got the spot out.

Oh, boy, am I a sap.

I can't think
when I'm hungry.

[SPUTTERING]

Oh, a funny man.

What's the matter
with you?

What did I do?

Who wants lunch?
LARRY: I do.

SHEMP:
Make me some too, will ya?

Okay, comin' up.

[HISSING]

[EXPLOSIONS]

Ah, boy.

[WHIMPERS]

Ah...

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

Well, here we are.

[READING INDISTINCTLY]

[LAUGHING]

[READING INDISTINCTLY]

[LAUGHING]

What are you
stalling around for?

[CRUNCH]
Oh, oh, oh, oh.

You know you got
a rush order to get out.

Get Mr. Grant's pants
and hand press 'em.

All right, all right,
but where are they?

I pinned 'em up
on the shade.

What'd you do with 'em?

I didn't touch 'em.

Uh-oh.

Here, hurry up,
and press those.

What are you
standing around for?

[HUFFING]

[GRUNTS]

[CHUCKLES]

[GRUNTS]

[HISS]
Oh!

Oh, oh.

[SPITS]

[GRUNTING]

[GROANS]

[SHOUTS]
[CRASHES]

Oh, oh.

[MOANING]

You double crosser.

[THUD]

Oh, oh.

[SLAM]
[THUD]

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

[BARKING]

Wise guy,
this time I'll close ya.

I'm sorry, Moe.

Oh, think nothin' of it.

Oh, gee, thanks.
You're welcome.

[CLANK]
Ooh. Ah, ah.

[MOANING]

[BOING]
Oh.

[BOING]
Oh.

What's the idea?

I'm sorry,
you stepped into me.

Hey, fellas.

A customer.

Say, have you seen--?
[STOOGES AGREEING]

You've really come
to the right place.

You bet. This is the store where
your dollars have more sense.

Say, we've got the very
sport coat you're lookin' for.

I don't want a coat.
But listen, mister,

we're gonna
give you a bargain.

Where did you ever
get this mess?

I bought it here.

Oh, what a beautiful
masterpiece.

[CHUCKLES]

Here, isn't it a beauty?

Genuine import.
Smell the ocean.

And it's percent wool.

Two hundred percent?

Yeah, these sheep
led a double life, yes, sir.

Come on, right in there.
I don't--

Will you--?
There you are.

I don't want a coat.

I don't want a coat.
I don't want a coat!

STOOGES:
Oh, he don't want a coat.

What he wants is a pair
of our slick slacks.

Why didn't you tell me
the man wants slacks?

Get him slacks.
Go ahead.

I don't want any slacks.
All right, look.

Now, look, bud,
in this store,

the customer's always right.

Here you are, brother.

Slick slacks.
Try 'em on for size.

Oh, yes,
try 'em right on...

[CHUCKLES]
Gee, officer--

Quiet.

You birds realize
you just let Terry Hargan,

the bank robber,
slip right through my hands?

I ought to run you in.
Please, officer,

I got six wives
and two kids.

Honest, officer,
there was nobody came in here.

He's in the neighborhood.

Keep a sharp lookout.
I'll be back.

STOOGES:
Right.

[BONK]
Ooh.

[GRUMBLES]

Hello, sugar plum.
How are you?

Just dandy.

[LAUGHS]

Listen carefully.

My clothes are in
the Pip Boys tailor shop

around the corner.

Now, in the watch pocket
of the trousers,

there's a piece of paper
with a combination to a safe.

I wanna do that job tonight,
and I need that paper.

Okay, sugar,
just leave it to me.

Hey, fellas.
What is it?

Look what I found
in the pocket of these pants.

[MOE READING NOTE]

Hey...

L-one, R-one--

Left one, right one.

This is the combination
to a safe.

TH.

I wonder what that means.

Teddy Hoosevelt?

You're wrong, quiz kid.

TH, TH...

I got it. I got it.

What?
Thomas Hedison.

Why don't you
dumbbells stop?

"Terry Hargan."

Terry Hargan--
He was here.

The bank robber was here.

You're crazy. Those clothes
came off one of the dummies.

No cracks.

[CRUNCH]
Ow.

Oh.

MAN:
Hiya, fellas.

Is my coat altered?

Just finished.
Oh, fine.

Try it on.

Wait a minute here.
Brush 'em off.

Sleeves, inches.

How's that?
That's right, .

Who made that hat?
My mother.

I thought so.

There you are.
You're all set.

Well, see you on payday.

Right.

What kind of brushing
you doin' around here?

He had a loose baste.

Yes, ma'am?
Uh, do you dye?

Oh, that's his natural
expression.

What can we do for you?

I'd like to have
this dress dyed.

What color?
Henna color.

You mean "henna" color at all?

No.

H-e-n-n-a, henna.

It's kind of a brown-reddish.

I never ate a brown radish.

I'm also interested
in a sport coat

and a pair of slacks
for my brother.

There's exactly what I want.

Oh, yes,
you have it.

MOE:
Tapered gabardine.

How much will that be?

Forty-two.
Forty-seven.

Thirty-nine.
Better add that up.

[CLACKING]

MOE:
What's the total?

[CLACKING]

Four hundred and dollars,
but there's a sale today.

You get percent off.

That makes it . .

I'll take it.

Oh, just a moment,
I'll be right back.

Henna color.
You mean brown-reddish?

Oh, yellow turnip,
blue cucumbers--

Anything at all.
Go ahead.

There we are.

WOMAN:
You said, uh, . ?

Yeah.

One hundred, ,

, , .

There you are.
Keep the change.

Thanks.

Aren't we the saps?

We had a fortune in our hand

and let it slide through.

I'm gonna search
all the clothes.

Me too.

[GRUMBLING]

Hey, look.
I found another .

Yeah, so you did.

[CRUNCH]
Oh, ow!

Hey, hey, hey,
leave him alone.

MAN:
Hiya, fellas.

My wife is just crazy about
the way you fixed this coat.

Uh, she wants you to make me
a pair of pants to match.

[STOOGES SIGH]

[THUD]

Hi.

You got 'em.

There you are,
sugar plum.

I knew
you'd come through, baby.

Ah, this is it.

"Received payment
in full,

Pip Boys Cleaners."

Why, the dirty...

They even took my bankroll,
the dirty crooks.

Come on, boys,
we're goin' calling.

SHEMP:
Green suit, dry clean.

Dry clean,
dry clean.

Gold vine,
repair the pockets.

Gold vine,
repair pockets.

Yes, what can we do
for you, sir?

We'd like to have our suits
cleaned and pressed

while we wait.

Why, certainly.

MOE:
Yes, sir.
That's what we do.

Uh-oh.

Ooh.
[SPUTTERS]

All right, bub.

Where's that piece of paper
was in my pants pocket?

The one with
the numbers on it?

That's it, that's it.

And the letters
"L-R-L-R-L-R-L"?

Yes, yes.
Where is it?

I never saw it.

Oh, a wise guy.

Okay, fellas, make him talk.

Get him.
MOE: Now, take it easy.

Where's that guy was here?

He went that-a-way.

Oh, I'll get him.
I'll--

[THUD]
Ooh.

Cut it out,
will ya?

[BONK]
Ouch.

[GROANS]

[LAUGHING]

Cut it out.
I'm ticklish.

All right,
come across with that paper.

Oh, the paper.
Yes, the paper.

Why didn't you say so?

There it is.
[BONK]

[MOANS]

Ow!

Hey, Larry,
I got him.

MAN:
Ouch! Ooh, ooh.

Ouch.
Nice work, Moe.

We might as well
press his pants.

[HISS]
Ouch!

[SHOUTS]

Where is that paper?
I haven't got it.

Ooh.

You'll talk.
[MOANS]

There, you'll talk now.

Hey--
Shut up.

Where is that piece
of paper?

I haven't got it.
Oh, still won't talk.

Oh, oh, oh!

Oof.

Oh, I didn't mean it.
I didn't mean it.

Honest, I didn't.
Still won't talk.

Oh, oh!

[LAUGHS]
Oh.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, his head
is steamin'.

[BONK]

[WHEEZES]

Success.
[CHUCKLES]

Oh, oh, oh!

SHEMP:
Hey, Moe.

Moe, Larry,
get me off here.

Oh.
Kid, take it easy.

Oh, oh, oh.

How do you feel, kid?

Oh, I'm all right.
We got him.

We got Hargan.

What's that?

It's Hargan, all right.

Nice work, boys.

We're in the chips,
the moolah.

Now, we can
pay Skin & Flint.

Oh, a couple more.

Hold him while I phone
for the wagon.

Wait a minute.

When do we get
our reward?

The reward?
Oh, I get the reward.

But here's some tickets
to the policemen's ball.

Tickets to
the policemen's ball?

[CRYING]

Oh, green stuff.
Fellas--

I'll take him.
Thanks again, boys.

STOOGES:
Oh, thank you.

Hurry up,
count it quick.

What do we got?
Wait a minute.

One hundred, , ,

, , a .

Oh, how did that get in here?

[CHUCKLES]

[THUD]

[♪]