♪ Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp ♪
♪ Brave, courageous and bold ♪
♪ Long live his fame and long live his glory ♪
♪ And long may his story be told ♪
The quarrel between Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday
which all Wyatt's friends had long predicted
began as a rough and ready frontier joke.
Dodge City in had growing pains
and had wanted to tax the residents of Pinky Town.
A hamlet of shacks and shanties beyond the city limits.
Pinky Town resisted and Doc Holiday
noted for his cantankerous humor
joined the Pinky Town citizens in a rebellion.
This brought Doc into conflict with Marshal Earp.
It seemed inevitable that the two fastest g*ns
on the western prairie must meet in a showdown with 's.
Come on, bring him out! Bring him out!
Go cut up some tar, boys.
We'll teach him to drag tax collector here.
But it's my job, Ms. Pinky. They elected me tax collector.
Shut up. Tie him to that pole.
Hey! Get a move on with that car, will ya?
I'm a city official. It's against the law to...
Yes. Tax collector, now. Yeah, this is Pinky Town.
And we don't pay no tax to Dodge City or any place else!
And I aim to teach you tax collecting ain't healthy.
We'll have to use actual keys. It works just as good.
- Alright, smear him real bad.
- I'm warning you, Ms. Pinky.
You're gonna go to jail.
Gimme that grease, I'll smear him.
Marshal Earp!
Axle grease is for wagons, Ms. Pinky. Untie him.
Thank goodness you got here, marshal.
I have a good mind to smear you, sonny.
No! You'll throw us all in jail.
Now, just calm down, Ms. Pinky. He's here on official business.
I-I was ordered by Mary Kelly and her council
to serve you people with tax bills.
Just you try it.
Take it easy, Mr. Serils.
Maybe they don't understand our new tax ordinances.
We sure don't!
Why don't you and I go inside
and I'll try to explain them to you.
This should be real funny, huh, boys?
Stay here and watch this fellow.
So you see, Ms. Pinky. We need taxes for..
Well, for new schools, police, fire protection.
Dodge is a big town now.
You just can't go around passing the hat anymore.
That's why Mayor Kelly and the city council they've..
Well, they've passed the city ordinance
to set up a legal tax rate.
And that means that you're gonna...
No taxes here, that's what it means.
Oh, ma'am, you're gonna have to pay some taxes
depending on your assets valuation.
No! Doc Holiday told us not to pay one dime.
- Doc Holiday?
- Hmm.
Well, now how did he get mixed up in this?
Doc owns half my pharaoh game when it runs.
I cut him in so as I'd have legal advice.
It ain't no joke, young man. Doc says the law is on our side.
Doc, Kelly and that bunch of politicians from Dodge
have running over Pinky Town long enough.
And this time we fight for our rights.
And Doc is with us.
Oh, don't ask me why the law is on our side.
Doc knows the whys and wherefores. You ask him.
Well, I'll do just that, Ms. Pinky.
Oh, did Doc advice you to tie and feather Mr. Serils?
No. He didn't. Doc said to hang him.
Well, good day, ma'am.
Oh, I hope you told her what for, marshal.
- No, she told me.
- But Wyatt...
It seems that Doctor Holiday is representing Pinky Town
in this little dispute.
- Doc Holiday. Oh.
- Yeah.
Knowing Doc as we both do, I suggest we find out about.
Pinky Town's legal position.
No, no, not me. I'm not gonna ask him.
Well, I'll ask him, Mr. Serils.
I think you better hit the saddle.
That's alright. I'll be right behind you.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
You go on home, Mr. Serils. I wanna talk to Doc.
Yes, Mr. Earp.
- Howdy, Doc?
- Shut up. I'm counting.
No more credit to Lockhend and Demming.
House limit , . That's all.
Did they hang Lenny Serils?
Ms. Pinky was fixing the grease and feathers, but I..
Well, I kinda talked her out of it.
Well, I guess it was too much to hope
for a tax collector to be hanged.
- Did Pinky Town pay up?
- Nope.
Well, at least that's something.
Wyatt, would you do me a favor?
Act exhausted and sag down in that chair, will you?
This is one of my rotten days, your good health is disgusting.
But it cheers me a little to inform you
that Pinky Town has never been annexed by Dodge city.
What do you mean?
I thought it was put in the wood three last year.
No, Wyatt. Read your book.
No, I'll take your word for it.
In other words Dodge can't legally collect taxes, huh?
That's a narrow view of the situation.
Pinky Town doesn't belong to Dodge city
the state of Kansas nor the United States of America.
You're joking.
Well, I must admit, it gives me some amusement but..
Wyatt, let me show you this digest of the Indian treaty.
The Cheyennes, they reserved all the ground
that's now known as Pinky Town
because one of their chiefs is buried there.
That's what the survey says.
Doesn't it stir your imagination a little?
What's your angle?
I like Pinky Thomason. I don't like Jim Caleho, the council.
There she stands, Pinky Town. Free of taxes.
Independent of Dodge city
Kansas and the United States of America.
Oh, Mayor Kelly isn't gonna like this.
I'd love to be there when you tell it.
Yeah, I bet you would.
Look, uh, promise me something, will you?
What?
I've got to try to get Pinky Town back into the union
back into Dodge so don't encourage Ms. Pinky
to make it any tougher than it already is, huh?
The situation is in your hands, Wyatt.
Thanks.
And I say this is all tomfoolery.
Pinky Town, not even a part of the United States.
Indeed no.
You take your deputies out there and arrest that woman.
For what?
For refusing to pay taxes. Sedition and treason.
Who do these shady towners think they are?
Well, they can't defy the Mayor and the city council.
We'll put the whole kent and kaboodle of them in jail.
Look, the law is against us, Mr. Kelly.
And our-our jail isn't that big.
I know who put Pinky Thomason up to this. Doc Holiday.
'He's the problem I hear. And I say... '
Wait a minute, Your Honor.
I say this is open rebellion
against the peace and dignity of the state.
Oh, no, wait a minute.
Look, losing our temper isn't gonna get us anywhere.
Pinky Town right now is a lost village.
We should have annexed Pinky Town
before we sent collector Serils out there.
As it is now, Ms. Pinky can..
Well, she can say no taxation without representation.
According to law, she's got us.
Now look, unless we make a deal with Pinky Town
they can refuse to be annexed. Do you understand?
- Secession! You defending that?
- No, sir.
A deal with Pinky Town! It's-it's ridiculous.
Look, they are Americans, Mayor Kelly.
You can't force them into..
Wyatt!
There's a big gunfight starting down at Pinky Town.
Who's fighting?
The circle star outfit and the Pinky towners.
The deputies are waitin' outside.
- Excuse me, gentlemen.
- What did I say?
Just a bunch of..
- Miss Pinky.
- Hold it, boys.
Doc says he can't come, he'd promised Wyatt to keep off it.
"Hands off!" Drat him!
I might've known he's siding with Earp.
Go ahead, boys.
- Hold your fire, sir.
- Pull it! Pull it!
Alright, now what's going on here?
- Ask him, he started it.
- I didn't either, marshal.
She wants cents for cattle we drive through Pinky Town.
Sure, we're raising our own taxes.
Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You stay here with your men
I'll settle this with our friend.
Come on, let's go inside. Now stay out here.
Go on.
All the cattle, they've always driven through Pinky Town.
They consider their settlement as part of Dodge.
Well, it ain't. And I guess Doc told you so.
Well, legally, Ms. Pinky, you don't belong anywhere.
What? So, we gotta raise some taxes on our own.
'Isn't that right, boys?'
We need a school and a lot of other public improvements.
And you know, legally, you ain't got no jurisdiction here.
You're just The John Law from Dodge city.
'That's right, Earp.'
Well, I've explained the facts
to Mayor Kelly and the city council.
And what did they say?
Ms. Pinky, why don't you buy all the boys a drink, huh?
Yeah. Sure. Uh, free drinks, Carl.
- Belly up, boys.
- Oh, good.
Alright, I'm listening, sonny.
Miss Pinky, I've always thought
you've considered yourself an American citizen.
- Who said I ain't?
- Doctor Holiday.
Oh, he's joking you. I was born in Missouri.
I home stayed at Pinky Town before Dodge had grown
from a buffalo wallow.
Well, look. Here's the treaty survey.
Now, the Cheyenne have reserved this ground as a burial place.
So you only have squatters rights.
Technically, Pinky Town is an.. Well, it is an American sewer.
Well, I'll be..
Now Pinky Town is named after you.
Do you want it to be part of the United States
or just a lost village in nowhere?
Doc didn't tell me about this.
Well, you know how Doc is.
He's kind of got a grizzly sense of humor.
Drat him! Making a joke of us.
I'll never trust another man again as long as I live.
Ms. Pinky, Doc is still on your side
he's not gonna lift a finger
to help Pinky Town get into the United States.
Well, what's the deal?
Well, first, I think you're gonna have to..
Alright, boys, tear it down!
But you agree to pay a $ damage to my place.
- $ .
- And wait a minute.
I'll get the other from the city treasurer.
Why am I trusting you?
Well, Ms. Pinky, I'm not a jokester like Doc.
I know you need a school and other town improvements.
When do we join the USA?
Well, as soon as you get annexed by Dodge city, maybe tomorrow.
- Will it still be Pinky Town?
- Yes, and I'll insist on that.
Yeah. But what if Doc Holiday don't agree to the deal?
Well, I'll tell you. Doc is a friend of mine.
You better not count on that.
I mean, if there's any hitch that gets Doc sore
he might go to sh**ting.
Well, we'll try not to get Doc sore.
I hope not. You'll be the first he'll g*n.
Ms. Pinky Thomason, the founder of Pinky Town
has agreed to the annexation of this neighboring village
to Dodge city.
- Anyone oppose?
- No.
The annexation is carried
and this new district will be known as Pinky Town Park
in honor of its founder.
Any more business to come before the Mayor and the council?
Chair recognizes Ms. Pinky Thomason.
Your Honor, that young Marshal Earp
'promised us a new school all our own.'
Now, when do we get it?
The matter of the new school
has been taken under advice, Ms. Pinky.
'You folks in Pinky Town Park will be informed about school'
'just as soon as possible.'
Well, alright.
Ah, there's one other item here that I had to bring up.
If you didn't mean it, you shouldn't have said it.
- Just listen!
- I won't listen!
I'm in a deal with Pinky Thomason, it included a school.
We haven't got the money.
- You got $ , in the fund.
- That's for our school.
You won't need a new addition if you put a school in Pinky Town.
I can't divert that money. That money...
- Mr. Kelly, do you want a riot?
- Riot?
Who do you think you're fooling with?
Ms. Pinky is a violent women
and Doc Holiday or backed it all the way. Look, I made a deal.
They have joined Dodge city, they'll pay taxes
but they get a new school. Quit playing politics.
Politics is it, who authorized you to make any deals?
Alright, then call the deal off. I'll explain it to Doc.
What's he care? He just stirred up those people for a joke.
You don't understand, Doc. He pretends it's a joke.
But he cares more about that school than anybody else does.
He probably hopes his name will be in it too.
John H. Holiday school. Never.
Good day, Mayor Kelly.
Well.
Taxes, but no school.
How'd that happen?
Well, they got $ , in the school fund
but Mr. Kelly is afraid to give it to Pinky Town.
- More books in Dodge, huh?
- Yeah, I guess so.
If I give you a sore eye, can't say that I blame you.
No, but it puts me on the spot with Pinky Thomason.
Can we stall them?
No, I'll have to raise some money.
But I'm too tired right now.
Well, at least you accomplished something, Doc.
Pinky Town is now called.
The Pinky Town Park district of Dodge city.
Pinky Town Park? What idiot thought that up?
I did.
Alright, lad. I suppose the good Lord will forgive you.
Look, I was trying to flatter Ms. Pinky
so she'd go along with the deal.
You flatter too many people, Wyatt.
You trying to pick a fight with me
or is this just your normal bad temper?
Now I must say that's an interesting
and intelligent question.
You got me into this deal, you know.
I've been trying to keep peace between Pinky Town and Dodge.
Wyatt, I might have started this fight
but nobody got k*lled.
No. But they could've.
You know, it just occurs to me that
you've... made an enemy of every man in this town.
- Except you.
- Yeah.
Well, I hope we can keep it that way.
Thank you very much.
No, Don, now you can do better. Let's make it. One, two, three.
All the good things come in three's.
Thank you. Thank you.
Ms. Pinky is making a collection for a school fund.
You know we're right between cattle drives, Doc.
I'll have to ask Mr. Beeson if..
- Thank you, sir.
- But Dr. Holiday..
You have a beautiful set of teeth.
Paper money first, Ms. Pinky.
Few coins. Let me see the lower. Wonderful.
And I know you'd like to keep them.
Tell Mr. Beeson we send our thanks.
Ms. Pinky, on to the other one.
Wyatt, Doc Holiday and Pinky Thomason
are shaking down all the joints.
- Oh.
- Mr. Chalk Beeson complained.
It's nothing but plain robbery.
- Doc wanted again?
- No, but he's sure pushing...
Then it can't be robbery.
It's just, uh, pre-bell donation's a worthy cause.
- What's it come to?
- Will you shut up?
Now I've lost count.
Mr. Lenny Serils is here.
- Consternation, let him wait.
- Oh, you need a drink.
I'll count it.
here. What you have up to this?
- , .
- About two thousand and all.
Can't put up much of a school with that.
You're bad as my wife. Money and women.
Well, it ain't that I'm ungrateful, Doc.
- Goodness, no...
- Stop that.
Let's keep goodness out of our conversation.
Are you good?
Of course, I'm using the word as a figure of speech.
Well, don't. Reminds me of Wired up.
Lenny. Come on in, Lenny. Lenny?
- What's he doing here now?
- Never mind.
Lenny Serils, you know Pinky Thomason.
- Rest yourself.
- I don't know why I came here.
If you hadn't have come, I would've brought you here.
- Sit down!
- What's the angle, Doc?
This is Mr. Souls, known as Lenny to his ever loving clients
the city tax collectors.
- I know that. But...
- Look, Pinky.
Will you please shut up and go outside?
- What I want to know...
- Now get out!
- Outside!
- Alright, alright!
I really shouldn't be here either, Dr. Holiday.
Sit down. Open your mouth wide.
Wider.
Lenny, you have the best set of natural teeth
for a man your age I've ever seen.
Oh, thanks.
Too bad I might have to yank them all.
Extraction. I'm a dentist, you know.
I don't want my teeth extracted.
- I never even had a tooth ache.
- Well, that's fine.
You collected $ , for a school addition.
- Yes, sir.
- Good.
- Where is it?
- Where?
Well, I don't see why that's any of your business. I...
Look, Lenny, I don't have much breath left.
And I don't intend to waste any of it on you.
Where is that money?
In Mayor Kelly's safe.
Fine. You go and get it.
I can't do that. It's public funds. It'd be stealing.
Besides, I don't know the combination of the safe.
- Alright, open real wide!
- No, no, no!
Look... I'll get the money.
- And Lenny, you better hurry.
- Yes, sir.
Bring it here and keep your mouth shut.
That way you'll stop yourself from wearing false teeth.
- Yes.
- Get out!
Wyatt will get the truth out of you.
Now go on, open the door and get in there.
There's only one man in this town
you could be this much afraid of and that's Doc Holiday.
- Well, it was Doc, wasn't it?
- I-I-I'm not saying.
Doc made him steal that money.
Probably threatened to pull out all his teeth.
I've been warning you against this fellow.
For months I've been warning you.
Doc's too smart to pull a trick like this
I guess he... just couldn't raise enough in donations
and felt he had to get the school for Ms. Pinky.
You defending Holiday even now?
No. You could tell him I wanna see him here.
Why won't you go arrest him?
Well, there's just a chance I might be wrong, you know?
Anyway I don't tangle with Doc until I'm sure.
Just as fast with the g*n as I am, maybe faster.
Well.
- Go on, get out of here.
- Yes, Mr. Earp.
- What's the charge, Deacon?
- No charge.
Lenny Serils took the school fund.
- He give it to you?
- He did. $ , .
I think you better put it on desk.
Sorry, Wyatt, I got a better use for it.
You're not thinking straight. Serils is afraid to talk.
So why don't you just give the money back
and nothing will be said or done.
Does Pinky Town get the school?
You know I can't promise that.
It's too bad, Wyatt. I'm walking out that door.
If you follow me, I'll g*n you.
Doc.
Throw the money down..
Or I guess you'll have to try and g*n me.
Doc.
Thanks.
You're an idiot, Wyatt.
Pinky and I were gonna name that school after you.
♪ Well, he cleaned up the country ♪
♪ The old Wild West country ♪
♪ He made law and order prevail ♪
♪ And none can deny it ♪
♪ The legend of Wyatt ♪
♪ Forever will live on the trail ♪
♪ Oh, Wyatt Earp, Wyatt Earp ♪
♪ Brave, courageous and bold ♪
♪ Long live his fame and long live his glory ♪
♪ And long may his story be told ♪