01x03 - Nobody's Cupcake

[bunniefuu]

♪ Whoa oh oh oh ♪

♪ So much to see ♪

♪ So much to do ♪

♪ Let's share a dream ♪

♪ Make it come true ♪

♪ Us girls' got the
right combination ♪

♪ Make our way
to new destinations ♪

♪ Imagine all
the possibilities ♪

♪ Hey hey hey ♪

♪ You can be anything ♪

♪ Hey hey hey ♪

♪ Barbie's here,
gonna sing ♪

♪ Hey hey hey ♪

♪ Adventure, yeah that's
our thing ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh ♪

♪ It's the Dreamhouse
Adventures ♪

I've always believed that
every challenge in life

is a chance to learn something,

to grow as a person.

So what exactly was
I learning by skating

a half-pipe with oven mitts
on my hands,

and trying to grab a bag of
flour hanging over my head.

Good question.

Let's go back five days.

It all started
on "Puppy Wig Day"

where you wear a puppy as a wig
because, why not?

[laughs]

Ahem.

Excuse me, miss.

This is a very
serious competition.

I can't help it!

I want it noted that I am
competing under protest.

This is totally embarrassing.

It's a tradition.

And duly noted.

Skipper, your talent?

[sighs]

My wig can brush my eyebrows
with its tail?

I've got the most amazing news!
You won't...

Puppy Wig Day, Stacie!

Oh right!

And your wig's talent?

Uhh... I can eat a cookie
with my hair?

So anyway, after a whole
lot of trying
and Bam! Bam! Bam!

calling and texting
like a crazy person -

but, you know, trying not
to be annoying -

and then finding numbers

I wasn't even supposed
to have

and Bam! Bam! Bam!

Calling and texting them like
an even crazier person

and trying even harder not to be
annoying, guess what!

You were annoying?

No! I did it!

I got you on that baking show!

WHAT?!
No way! Really?

No way!
Me?

Of course you!

Your cupcakes we take
to the beach?

They're even good with sand
in them!

Thanks, that's sweet.

But I mean this...

I have literally always wanted
to do this!

And now, here it is!

I can't believe it!

Me, on the American Baking Hero!

Thank you so, so much!!

Uh, well no, not
that baking show.

Um, why'd you have to tell me
on a trampoline?

Because this show's even more
suited to your amazing talents!

It's called
"Bake Till You Ache,

"Extreme Baking Challenge".

What?

You're kidding, right?

No, it's on the internet!

It's one of those shows
where you like get sh*t
out of a cannon,

grab a greasy rope
in mid-air

and swing over a pit
of alligators to ring a bell.

Except with baking!

And no alligators.

[teasing]
Probably.

Stace, this is totally nuts!

For one thing, those shows
are for people

who are like ridiculously
coordinated...

Sunblock coming up!

Whoa...

she said, while doing things
at once flawlessly.

You know, why not?

Ow!

Ow!

I really wanted to be
on the show myself

but who am I kidding?

You're the food artist
in the family.

You're made for this,
Barbie!

Hey, when she's right
she's right.

But because you're
the challenger

you get to have a sideline coach
and that gets to be ME!

Stacie, you were made
to coach!

We could win!

"We".

That's the word that did it.

I mean, look at those faces!

What wouldn't you dare to try
with these three by your side?

Maybe it's just the concussion
talking but...

Yes! Let's do this crazy thing!

Team Roberts!

[cheering]

What I didn't know was that
my competition was going to be

Tammy Bounceway.

A super-athletic rising
social media star

with a thousand-megawatt smile.

Hey Tammy fans,

who's ready to see me dominate
another episode of

[grunting]

Bake Til You Ache!

Tammy, with you on the show
we tripled our numbers!

In just one week!

Ugh!

These are Pizza Rat numbers!!

As a social media star and you
as the producer of the show,

this could be a good thing
for both of us, Greg.

You're tellin' me!

So, uh, who's my competition
next week?

Local kid. Nobody.

Darby something. Why?

Hmm. Let's take a drive.

The next day we started
training.

Nine, eight...

C'mon!

OK, Chelsea, curveball!

Um...Suddenly you're att*cked
by a flock of rabid geese!

Honk! Schmort!

Honk!

You're doing great, Barbie!

Huh?

Uh oh!

[blows]

What is it Ken?

Oh nothing.

Shoo, shoo!

AHH!! Spider!

Ahh!

So yeah, the spider thing.

[shudders]

I was with my dad when
he was sh**ting a documentary

in South America and...

Uhhh!

[yelps]
AH! Spider!

I know,
it was really tiny!

But it looked like some
kind of a monster! To me.

I mean I was eight, I still
hadn't figured out yo-yos.

Ever since then I've just
got this thing about...

uhhh spiders.

Ahhhhhhh!!!

Ahhh.

Sorry Barbie, I tried
to shoo it away,

but it wasn't...
um... shooable.

It was good of Ken to try,

but because of that
I didn't notice...

See? Not a problem.

Total klutz.

And the spider thing...
hilarious!

I'm not feeling this Greg.

You're the producer of the show,

and you like the eyeballs I'm
bringing to your show, right?

I love 'em!

Then we can't take any chances.

If you and me are gonna break
the internet together

I need to win and win
and keep on winning.

Yeah, but how do
we guarantee that?

Hello? We cheat!

Uhh-ha-ha!

I can totally do that.

Three days later
it was showtime.

I was pretty nervous.

[whispers] ...Ok Greg, you
better have my back in this

because I am going...

Oh...

Hi! I'm Barbie. It's
really nice to meet you!

Ew, I don't do sweaty palms.

O-kay...

Good seat.

This is so exciting!

[applause]

Hey, everybody!

I'm Johnny Bee
and welcome to...

Bake Till You Ache!

[cheering and applause]

And what a show we've got today!

Take a look at our amazing
returning champion,

the rising social media
lifestyle influencer and Gen Z

thought leader who once saved
a stranded seal pup

with just her smile,

Tammy Bounceway!

[cheering]

And this week's challenger
is Darby Boberts who's .

Hey!

[sheepish] GO Darby!

Wait, that's not her name...

Meanwhile Mom was busy
calculating my odds of winning.

OK, so it's a simple algorithm.

Each competitor theoretically
starts with an equal chance.

Then we add new data
in real time.

Relax, Margaret.

Barbie will be fine.

Because, ta da!

I brought our lucky
Wisconsin cheese bunny!

Our challengers will now
be escorted off site

to the obstacle zone.

But fear not studio audience,
because we can cheer them along

as we watch every move
on our super mega screens!

Our challengers will compete
head to head in a series

of exciting obstacles
that will test their strength,

speed, agility, and of course,
baking skills.

They must complete
each section

before moving to
the final bake off.

As the challenger,
Darby is allowed to have

her sister Stacie
as her sideline coach.

Welcome Stacie!

Our contestants have arrived
at the starting line

and are ready to go.

Now let the games begin!

[horn]

Before you could say
"Darby Boberts",

I was in the thick of it,
trying to grab baking equipment

off a -foot rock wall.

with giant punching oven mitts.

Whoa!

I remember thinking it was
strange that the oven mitts

seemed allergic to Tammy and
didn't appear anywhere near her

but I was raised never to be
a complainer so I let it go.

Plus I already had
my hands full.

Wouldn't you agree?

Whoa, now that was a close one.

[gasps]

Gimme that rabbit!

Hang on...

Hanging!!

Later it would turn out there
was a little detail

I was unaware of.

Remember, don't touch
the animal shapes.

That's where the mitts
are coming from!

[bell]

Tammy takes the lead!

Our champion with the first
points on the board.

That's it! Barbie!

That gymnastics move
you taught me!

The head-down pendulum!

Yes!

Uh, Stacie, I love you!

OK, on three!

One, two, THREE!

Whoa!
Sign that girl up for Team USA!

[bell]

[cheering]

And Round One is complete!

Yes!
Nice job!

Way to go Barbie! Yeah!

Tammy's trademark smile
was starting to fade.

[horn]

Oh no!

It's raining cupcakes!

Next we had to gather
our ingredients.

First: eggs.

Which had to be seized
from an angry,

fire-breathing chicken.

You know, just like in nature.

[gasp]

[gasp]

Til that moment I'd assumed
Tammy's sash

was just a fashion choice...

Woohoo!

[bell]

Tammy completes
this section

while Barbie is still having
trouble with the chicken.

But then I realized
there was no other way down?

Uh-oh!

Two eggs, no pockets.

How's she gonna do it?

[gasps]

Hacky-sack!

With eggs?!

Or get pecked apart
by a big fake chicken.

Well, when you put
it that way...

[loud roar]

An EGG-straordinary move
by our resilient challenger.

Go Barbie!

Through eggs, flour,
and vanilla extract,

Tammy and I were neck-and-neck.

OK, contestants.

Now it's time to "whisk it all"

to get to your final ingredient,
sugar!

Here's the thing though,

only two of the sealed sacks
are sugar,

the others are salt!

Yuck, and you can only take one
sack with you or you'll collapse

the wooden spoon steps leading
up to the top of the cake

and fall into a giant pool
of sprinkles.

All right contestants.

Ready, set...

GO!

Heh!

[Bell]

And Tammy completes
yet another section.

She now holds commanding lead
over Darby

who is still spinning her wheels
in the whisk.

Take the one on the far right!

Huh!

Ha!

[bell]

Another successful round
for our reigning champion.

[cheering]

Hmmm...

Now that is what I call
weighing your options.

[Together]: How did she know?

[Together]: Salt's denser
than sugar.

So with equal volumes,
sugar's lighter.

Everyone knows that, right?

Huh?

What. Is. Going. On. Greg?!

You promised me a cakewalk!

It will be, Tammy.
I promise.

Let's just say the spoon
saw better days.

[Greg]: I'm telling you
it's in the bag...

Trust me, beach-girl's
going down.

I will not let her win.

Huh!?

Barbie they're cheating!

Watch out!

[gasp]

Ahh!

A spoon full of disaster!

Can she come back from this?

Falling in the pit is bad,
right?

Ha! That's what
I'm talking about!

Oh, Barbie, I can't believe
they are cheating.

I am SO sorry I got you
into this.

Urrrgh!

You know what?
You should just quit.

Right now!
That'd show 'em!

Quit?

It was the perfect thing
for Skipper to say, actually?

Cuz, see, if you know anything
at all about me

it's that I don't do "quit".

There was a time I almost did,
once.

I was supposed to play
this new song on the piano,

but it seemed impossible.

There were so many notes!

Then my Grandma told me
the only sure way to fail,

was to not try at all.

One note, two notes.

Before I knew it, I was playing
the whole song.

She taught me that even when
something seems impossible,

do it anyway,
because if you quit,

you'll never know what might
have been.

I know that look!

Hoo!

Tammy's in trouble now.

I'm not gonna quit.

I'm gonna do it anyway.

But it's rigged against you!

That's the fun part.

They think they've already won.

But we are Team Roberts!

Wait! Our challenger's
turning around.

But she's still got to hit
that last button.

Has she got sprinkles
on the brain?

What's she thinking?!

You know what I'm thinkin'?

[All]: Lacrosse!

Yeah! Lacrosse.

Huh?

Yeah!

[cheering]

That's my girl!

Whoaaa!

Now, on to the baking!

Let's see who can get their mix
in the oven first.

Will our contestants cr*ck
under the pressure?

Hopefully it is just the eggs
that will cr*ck.

Get it? cr*ck?

Local kid, you said.

A nobody.

Who is this she-ninja!?

Ok!

We're in the final stretch now.

Bakers retrieve your icing.

She might just pull this off!

Her icing's awesome!

Especially on hot dogs!

Because what's a cake
without icing.

Ooo, but guess what!

We're about to discover
the answer to that question!

Huh.

Only one of you will get
to ice your masterpiece!

And that's...

Whoever wins the icing
tug of w*r!

Seriously?

The loser will be pulled into
this giant bundt pan of icing.

[chanting]
I-cing! I -cing!
I-cing!

On your marks, get set...

PULL!?

Huhh!?

[gasps]

[grunts]

Let's see how Darby
deals with this.

[gasps]

You're kidding!

Her worst fear!

Shoulda quit while
you were ahead, Darby.

Quit?

It's BARBIE!

One of us is going down!

Ahh!

Ugh!

Ooo, that's gotta hurt.

But wait!

Barbie will need a miracle.

She only has seconds left.

Can she do it?

[audience chanting]
Go! Go! Go!

The challenger's icing
is spilling!

Woohoo!

I taught her that!

She sticks the landing!

[Audience]: Ten! Nine! Eight!

Seven! Six! Five!

Four! Three! Two!

One!

[bell]

Mmm. Mmmm!!

Oh wow!

Congratulations Darby...

Hey! It's Barbie Roberts!

I mean congratulations
Barbie Roberts!

[cheering and applause]

NOOOOOOO!!!!

[crowd chanting]
Barbie! Barbie! Barbie!

Barbie! Barbie! Barbie!

I couldn't have done it
without you, Coach.

Hey!

Great work champ!

See ya next week?

[All]: What?! Excuse me?!
Are you kidding?!

I don't think so.

This isn't for me.

But, did you hear
that audience?

All those fans who used
to love Tammy,

they love you now!

You're a winner!

That's not real love.

And there's more to life
than winning.

Come on, I saw you out there,
Barbie.

You like to win.

I like to play the game.

There's a difference, Greg.

And when everything is rigged
against us,

that's when we play harder.

C'mon, guys.

I don't know about anyone else
but I'm starving!

[all talking at once]

Ugh!

Mm-mm.

So what was I learning
that day?

Don't let other people
define your game.

Whether you win or lose.

You don't have to be the "most"
at something to enjoy it.

Put yourself in the game,
try your hardest,

enjoy the support of
your friends and family.

That's the real win.

And a lot more fun
than just playing to win.

Darby Boberts

Barbie Roberts
signing off.

[woof]

♪