02x10 - The Happiest Place on Earth

[bunniefuu]

ADULT DEAN: Gone were the days
when you grew up and stayed close

to your parents, like
my mom and dad did.

Education and opportunities

were pushing the next
generation further away,

and a lot sooner.

And by ,

Mama was sensing the shift.

[SIGHS] Can't stay.

I'm getting pizza with the girls.

But I made your favorite.

Come on, Mom.

We only have a few more months together

before we all head off to college.

Well, alright.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh. Hey, Kim.

Um, okay, don't be mad, but
I'm having dinner at Tammy's.

We've just both been so busy at work,

we [SIGHS] barely get to see each other,

but, Mom, it smells great, really.

[FOOTSTEPS RECEDE]

♪♪

Hey, now.

Don't be sad.

Maybe it's a good thing.

No fighting over the last
piece of chicken with Bruce,

no complaining from Kim about
food she doesn't pay for.

- It's nice, just the two of us, isn't it?
- Mm.

Sometimes I feared they wouldn't miss me

until I showed up on a milk carton.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING ON TELEVISION]

[FIREWORKS EXPLODING]

- ANNOUNCER: "The Wonderful World of Disney."
- [TELEPHONE RINGS]

- Not it.
- Not it.

[SIGHS]

Williams residence. Dean speaking.

Dad, it's Bum Lee from your old band.

Tell him I'm not here.

But you always tell me not to lie.

- Kim.
- [CLICKS TONGUE]

- He's not here.
- [RECEIVER CLICKS] And now...

He must've heard I wrote
that song for Marvin Gaye

and probably wants me
to come back to the band.

[CHUCKLES] Ain't that always the way?

Good. Everyone's here.

- [TELEVISION SHUTS OFF]
- [GROANS]

[EXHALES DEEPLY] I've
been thinking it over.

With things going the way they are

and Kim headed off to college soon,

Bruce getting busier and busier,

this might be our last chance
to make family memories.

So, I would like for us
to go on a family vacation.

But we always go on family vacations.

What about Lake Chewacla?

Not a picnic where we all get chiggers.

A real vacation, Bill.

Like the ones you see on TV.

- What about...
- KIM: Austin, Texas?

I applied to the University
of Northern Austin,

and I got the acceptance
letter yesterday.

I didn't know how to
tell y'all. [CHUCKLES]

That's a really good school. [LAUGHS]

- Why'd they let you in?
- [CLICKS TONGUE]

Congratulations, honey.

I just didn't realize you were
applying to schools so far away.

Well, it's one of the first schools

to have an African
American Studies program.

- Still...
- They offered me a scholarship.

My baby girl's going to the
University of Northern Austin.

[LAUGHS]

And look at how happy the
students are reading on the quad.

Well, Kim, this is a decision

that could affect your entire life.

You can't just make it
based off a brochure.

Yes, which is why Austin
is the perfect place for us

to go on vacation.

Then you can check it out with me.

I think a trip to Austin might be fun.

Right, Lill?

And we could help Kim
make this major decision.

[SQUEALS] I'm so excited!

- Thank you.
- [BILL AND KIM LAUGH]

You know, Austin is only
, miles from California,

and you know what's
in California, right?

For the millionth time, Dean,
we are not going to Disneyland.

ADULT DEAN: I'd been watching

"The Wonderful World of Disney" nonstop,

and like most kids,
was highly susceptible

to the power of Disney magic.

There was no way I was
gonna let us get halfway to

the Happiest Place on Earth
without actually going there.

But I knew I had my work cut out for me.

Have you bought a t*nk of gas lately?

It's up to cents a gallon.

I've got hotel, gas, food,
and tickets already priced out.

There's even a line for souvenirs,

or as I like to call
'em, lifelong memories.

That's my little accountant right there.

- Dean, there's no way...
- I've got $ . all saved up.

It's not much, but it'll
cover some of the costs.

I was saving up for a new bike,
but this is more important.

You'd be willing to give
up your life savings?

If it means I get to
go to Disneyland, yes.

[CHANGE RATTLING]

Fine.

- We can go to Disneyland.
- Yes!

Convincing my father
to take us to Disneyland

was nothing short of a miracle.

But when he let me keep five
of my dollars, oh, look at God.

I was finally gonna
get my Disney vacation,

and Mama was gonna
get what she wanted...

all of us together.

♪♪

[TOILET FLUSHES]

Alright, I'm ready to leave.

[CAR ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH]

[GROANS] Oh, not again!

Thankfully, Dad checked
his rearview mirror

and noticed I was missing...

eventually.

♪ All I know ♪

♪ Ohhh, through the highs and the lows ♪

♪ I'mma find my way home ♪

[BUBBLE GUM POPS]

[SIGHS] Mom, Kim is chewing too loudly.

[SCOFFS] Grow up, Dean.

Who knew Texas was so far away?

Why don't we play the
license-plate game.

One point per state, right?

Ew, that sounds like homework.

- Let's play Punch Buggy instead.
- Yes.

Kim always suggested Punch Buggy

because she knew she
had an unfair advantage.

Y'all can play, but
no hitting your sister.

- But, Dad!
- And I don't care how hard she hits you,

- rules are rules.
- [GROANS]

- Punch Buggy!
- Ow!

[LAUGHS] Well, you can't hit
me back 'cause I'm a girl.

- Rules are rules.
- [LAUGHTER]

- [RADIO CLICKS ON]
- MAN: Forecast is mostly sunny...

[RADIO TUNING]

♪ Standing here all alone ♪

Bill, that sounds
like one of your songs.

♪ Waitin' for you to come home, girl ♪

It sounds like one of my songs

'cause it is one of my songs.

Is that my old band?

Can they play your song?

Not without paying me a
whole lot of money they can't.

They ought to be ashamed
of themselves for this.

Ooh! Punch Buggy! No punch backs.

Come on, Dean. Read the car.

♪ Wherever you are ♪

Sounds like a real hit, too.

RADIO HOST: And that was The Commanders

with their hip new
number, "Sweet Milly,"

that's been running up the charts.

ADULT DEAN: We didn't think it
could get any worse for Daddy,

- until...
- [ENGINE SPUTTERS, CLANKS]

RADIO HOST: The Commanders
are from Birmingham, Alabama...

Uh, maybe we should pull
over at the next gas station

and get that checked out.

Actually, if... if we pull
over, I can call Tammy.

- I was supposed to check in by now.
- The car is fine.

Let's just focus on our family vacation.

You can call her when
we stop for dinner.

You can catch The Commanders
opening for The Temptations

tomorrow night at the Strand Theatre

in downtown San Antonio.

Wow! The Temptations?!

Man, that is so cool!

Punch Dummy, shut the hell up!

♪♪

So, what are you saying?

LILLIAN: Bruce looks upset.
Do you think he's okay?

♪♪

I accidentally overheard,
and it does not sound good.

I think he and Tammy are breaking up.

"Accidentally," huh?

I couldn't help but listen
through the bathroom walls.

He was talking so loud.

- Rude, right?
- Poor Bruce.

DEAN: He'll be fine, Mom.

I'm sure there's plenty of
women with kids at Disneyland.

What? That's his type, right?

[TELEPHONE RECEIVER
CLICKS, COINS RATTLE]

Oh, shh, here he comes.

Quick, pretend we're
talking about something else.

[ALL MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY]

Hey, Bruce. We weren't
talking about you or anything.

- [GRUNTS SOFTLY]
- [CLEARS THROAT]

You okay?

Can you guys drop me
off at the bus station?

I gotta get back to Montgomery
and patch things up with Tammy.

Do you really think
talking things through

face-to-face will help?

Probably not.

She was pretty clear on
the phone that it's over.

I'm sorry, baby.

Things have been rocky between us

for the past few months, so I
probably should've seen this coming.

Why don't I take him over to the bar?

He's gonna need something
stronger than a banana split.

That's a good idea.

I'm sure he could use some
support from his father.

It'll be okay, Dad.

You think you know someone, and
then they kick you out the band.

And then, they go and
steal a song you wrote

and make it worse.

[SCOFFS] I mean, changing "Sweet Lilly"

to "Sweet Milly" is low, even for them.

Why?

Who's Milly?

Bum Lee's dog.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Look at us.

I got dumped by my band,
and you got dumped by Tammy.

Yeah.

And I can't help but
feel like it's my fault.

Like maybe I should've done more,

fought for the relationship, but...

[EXHALES DEEPLY] Hey,
what are you gonna do?

[CHUCKLES]

♪ And you're left on your own ♪

We gonna toast.

- To bad breakups?
- No!

To moving forward.

[JOHNNY CASH'S "CRY! CRY! CRY!" PLAYING]

Man, I missed all three of them glasses.

In the morning, we'll start
with the regular campus tour.

Mm-hmm. That's approximately two hours.

And then I want us to
check out the library.

But, Mom, that's an unscheduled stop.

I'm... I'm not sure we have time.

Kim, it's the fifth-largest
university library

- in the country, you know.
- Why would anyone know that?

You need to start taking
this more seriously.

Alright, you want to
check out the library,

we'll find some way to make up time.

Maybe Dad can drive past
the speed limit this time.

And get pulled over in
some sundown town in Texas?

Now, that's a steamboat Mickey
ain't gonna save you from.

Okay, well, maybe you two
can go on the college tour

while Dad and I get the car fixed

so it can make it to California.

That's a good idea.

I just hope Bruce is gonna be okay.

Come on, man. He fought in a w*r.

ADULT DEAN: Little did I know,

Dad had other plans besides
getting the car fixed.

[SNORING]

[ENGINE SHUTS OFF]

[YAWNS]

Mnh, sorry I dozed off.

I was up all night planning
our ticket strategy.

The E tickets get you on the best rides,

so I think we should start there.

Then the D tickets.

W-Wait... Wait a minute. Where are we?

I-I thought we were
getting the car fixed.

- Where's the mechanic?
- Just had to make one quick stop.

Mm-hmm, for one last
fight with his band.

KIM: Wow. This campus is so beautiful.

Hey, come on over, now. Don't be shy.

[CHUCKLES]

Uh, my name's Gil,
soon-to-be class of ' .

- Go Tigers.
- [SCATTERED CHUCKLES]

And I'll be leading
y'all on this campus tour.

We'll be gettin' to
anything and everything,

so if y'all wouldn't mind

just saving your questions till the end.

[CLICKS TONGUE] Or now.

- Now is fine.
- Um,

what percentage of
students come from out of state?

About %.

So that's down from last year's %?

Is there any reason?

Ah. Mm...

[SIGHS] Ugh! This is so embarrassing.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Not gonna lie,

there was a part of
me that thought my dad

was about to m*rder
his former bandmates.

But even worse...

But we're gonna miss the
Dapper Dans on Main Street.

I just wanna ask them a few questions.

Unless your band members
are brooms and buckets

and you're wearing a sorcerer's hat,
then I don't care.

[SCOFFS]

Bill Williams, is that you?

Oh, it's me, alright.

We've been trying to
reach you for weeks, Bill.

- You never pick up the phone.
- For what?

To hear how you stole my music?

- No, man.
- No.

We got a royalty check
with your name on it.

- A what?
- Yeah, man.

Disc jockeys been giving
"Sweet Milly" a lot of spins.

And there's no way we
were gonna keep your share,

band or no band.

Oh.

Well...

- Thank you.
- BUM LEE: Of course, Bill.

No hard feelings.

We don't want you
feeling like Pete Best.

- Uh, who said I did?
- WASHBOARD: Sorry, you're right.

That's presumptuous.
Pete left The Beatles.

- This is more Florence Ballard.
- Right.

She was kicked out of The Supremes.

We don't want you feeling like her.

DEAN: Wait, there was a fifth
Beatle and a fourth Supreme?

And they're not famous? [SCOFFS]

Think of all that money that
they're just missing out on...

Sorry, Dad. [CLEARS THROAT]

GIL: Okay, friends, let's head on.

[LILLIAN CLEARS THROAT]

Excuse me!

- Excuse me again.
- Yes?

Lillian. Another question.

Mom, stop.

What if a student studying,

I don't know, Afro-American Studies

wanted to double major

so that the other major
could lead to a job?

I have a follow-up to that one, Gil.

What if that student
didn't want to double major,

and wanted to have an
actual life in college?

What if that student wanted
to pay their own expenses?

Why don't we let some of
the other prospective parents

maybe just have a chance
to ask some questions?

- Ma'am?
- I'm actually with Lillian on this.

Yeah, she makes a good point.

There's nothing wrong
with majoring in English.

You already speak the language.

When are you going to realize
that where I go to college

is my decision, not yours?

I am just trying to help you.

Oh, well, you could help
me by leaving me alone.

That's a good idea.

How 'bout I start that... now?

Ugh!

- Kim.
- ♪ You got me going in circles ♪

And we're walkin', we're walkin'.

It's tough when a man who's
used to having all the answers

starts to question himself.

I guess some things change.

♪ You got me going in circles ♪

Come on.

Kim's tour must be over by now.

♪ Ohh-ohh-ohh, round ♪

BUM LEE: Well, look
who decided to show up.

- Chill, my man, chill.
- How can we chill

when you're pulling
this crap in every city?

Yeah, and thanks to
your last two no-shows,

I'm back in the hole!

This tour was supposed to get
me out of debt, not deeper in it.

And if we continue
to postpone this tour,

Carol's gonna leave me for a third time.

Well, at least you still
got Barbara. [LAUGHS]

Man, Barbara left me back in Omaha.

Come on, man. Just show up on time, man.

Yes, things had changed for my dad.

But things with the
band had stayed the same.

And in that moment,

Dad didn't feel so bad
about being on his own.

No amount of success would ever be

more important to him than his family.

Dean, what are you standing there for?

- Let's split!
- [BANDMATES ARGUING]

Where is everyone? We need to go.

Your daughter kicked me off the tour.

And for no good reason.

Mm-hmm.

Fine, maybe for some good reason.

Yo, where's Kim?

I thought she was with you.

She left the tour an hour ago. I
thought she came back here to wait.

We need to find her!

Don't worry, I'm sure
she's somewhere safe.

[SCOFFS] No, we need to find her

for the group discount at Disneyland.

Lillian, fix your son.

I'll go find Kim.

[SIGHS]

♪♪

[GRUNTS]

♪♪

I'm sure whatever your
mom said or didn't say,

or did or didn't do,

it's only 'cause she
wants what's best for you.

It's not her.

I mean, it's always her,

but not just her.

[SIGHS]

It's all this pressure.

All through high school, everyone
told me I was going to college...

you guys, my teachers,

old folks at church I don't even know.

But, like...

How am I supposed to make a decision

that will determine my entire future?

That's a tough one. Yeah.

Like, you know why I wanted to go here?

Because I wanted all the
decision-making to be over with.

Instead, it's just led to
more decisions I have to make.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm glad my problems
are so funny to you.

I'm laughing 'cause I
spent the last hours

questioning a lot of my own
decisions about the band.

And?

Did you make the right decisions?

I'll never know.

Really, it doesn't matter.

What matters is that you make a choice

and that you make the best out of it.

I don't want a lesson.

Can't you just tell me what to do?

♪♪

I can't do that for you, Kim.

You know that.

Part of becoming an adult is

being comfortable with the uncertainty.

Just trust that whatever you decide

is the right decision for you.

♪♪

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

Come on, now.

Your brother's gonna have a heart att*ck

if we don't give him
this family vacation

he's been wanting his whole life.

His whole life?

He didn't say anything about
this until two days ago.

I didn't think so, either.

But to be honest, we don't
pay that close attention.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[ARTHUR ALEXANDER'S "I HOPE
THEY GET THEIR EYES FULL" PLAYS]

- ♪ I hope, I hope, I hope ♪
- ♪ I hope, I hope, I hope ♪

♪ I hope they get their eyes full ♪

I'm sorry about what
happened back there.

- ♪ I hope, I hope, I hope ♪
- ♪ I hope, I hope, I hope ♪

And if I'm being honest,

there's a part of me that regrets

that I didn't leave home for college.

And there's a part of me that's jealous

that you have that option.

I didn't even know
you were thinking about

going anywhere but Tuskegee.

I had a few options.

Then my dad got sick,

and I didn't want to be
far away from my family.

But sometimes I wonder what
my life would have been like

if I went somewhere like
University of Northern Austin.

[CHUCKLES]

But if you didn't go to Tuskegee,
then you would have never met Dad,

and we wouldn't have ever been born.

I'm sure you would have. [CHUCKLES]

You'd just have somebody else's eyes.

Mama!

♪ While that little
girl waves me bye-bye ♪

Kim, I want you to
know that I support you

no matter what choice you make.

- Promise?
- Promise.

And from now on, let's just
be honest with each other

about everything, no matter what.

Deal.

[ENGINE SPUTTERS, CLANKS]

What was that?

[CLANKING CONTINUES]

Bill, you said you fixed the car.

Yeah, about that being honest thing...

♪♪

BILL: All right. Thank you.

He says they're really backed up.

It's gonna be at least a
day till they can get to us.

I guess I'll have to find
us a hotel for tonight.

Tonight? But that barely gives
us any time at Disneyland.

Sorry, son.

I don't think we're gonna make it.

Are you kidding me? [SCOFFS]

All I ever wanted to
do was go to Disneyland

and visit the Happiest Place on Earth!

You made sure everybody
else got what they wanted,

but what about me?

It's never about what I want!

[SCOFFS]

[POWER WRENCH WHIRRING]

[SIGHS]

Bill. He's right.

All he wanted was this
trip to Disneyland,

and instead, he had to put
up with all of our stuff.

So you know what we're gonna do?

We're gonna give Dean
a trip to Disneyland

if it's the last thing we do.

Bill, you're gonna take that song money,

and you're gonna tip
that mechanic so hard,

the car's gonna be ready in minutes.

And we're gonna use this driving chart,

which is very detailed for
someone who can barely ride a bike.

And we're gonna take
turns driving in shifts.

But, Lill, I do the driving.

Well, it's the only way for
us to drive through the night

to get Dean a day at Disneyland.

Think we can do that?

Good.

Now, let's get going.

♪♪

And, Bill?

If it jingles, it's not a real tip.

♪♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS,
UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

[GASPS] This is everything
I ever dreamed of!

There's Mickey! Oh, the castle!

- [TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
- Main Street!

I-It's the train!

Well, what do we do first?

- Ooh, Tea Cups.
- KIM AND BRUCE: Matterhorn.

Bathroom.

I drank four cups of coffee
to get through the night shift.

Well, I guess we could split
up, but just for the morning.

Race you to the Tea Cups, Mama.

Come on, Bruce, let's go!

[YODELING]

[CHILDREN SCREAMING]

[SIGHS]

Can I tell you something?

sh**t.

I'm not going to Northern Austin.

Really?

Yeah.

I'm not ready to be
so far away from home.

- Is that pathetic?
- Of course not.

[SIGHS]

You know, after you took off,

I actually stayed on for
the rest of the campus tour.

- You did?
- Yeah.

I mean...

It got me thinking.

Most of what me and
Tammy were fighting about

had to do with what I
wanted for my future.

Honestly, I didn't know what I wanted,

until I set foot on that
campus and it just felt right.

So... [CHUCKLES]

So I think I'm gonna apply.

That is so exciting, Bruce!

- I'm happy for you.
- Thanks.

[BUZZER, GATES CLANK]

Oh.

Oh, and, uh, hey, Kim, by the way,

don't tell Mom and Dad yet.

I don't want to bum 'em out
at the Happiest Place on Earth.

As long as you don't say
anything about me not going.

I don't wanna give Mom the
satisfaction of being right.

[CHUCKLES] Deal.

- [AIR BRAKES RELEASE]
- Ooh.

LILLIAN: Whoo! [LAUGHS]

Whoo!

ADULT DEAN: Mama set
out for us all to have

an unforgettable family vacation.

[SCREAMING]

[BIG CAT ROARS]

And that's exactly what we got.

♪♪

It was the most memorable
trip of my childhood.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

And the last time I was able

to pee in a cup to
save time on the road.