[music, glass shatters]
- [Voiceover] What
you are looking at is
million light years away.
This means that it
took million years
for the light from those
stars to reach our eyes.
We are thus, at present,
staring into the past.
(sighs)
- My dad d*ed during my
sophomore year of college.
For five years, Mom
kept a strong front
as she wanted us to
move on with our lives.
Mom, do you have a
favorite designer?
- No. (chuckles)
- Didn't you want to be one?
- Yes.
- So, how is it that you
don't have a favorite?
- Well, I suppose,
that would be me.
- Seriously, Mom.
- Well, honey, I don't know.
I can't afford them so I
don't bother with that.
- Why'd you become a nurse then?
- Stability.
Income, you know.
Helping people. (chuckles)
Who knows?
- Maybe you could do both.
- Ah, I think it's
too late for that.
- It's never too late.
- That is true
but I'm really good
with what I do.
- Right.
When are you gonna
use that handbag?
- I'll use that for
a special occasion.
- [Nate] Like what?
- Like Steven's commencement.
- [Nate] You should
just use it every day.
- No, it's too expensive.
Precious.
- [Voiceover] After
Mom's funeral, everything
went downhill.
- [Larry] Hey.
- [Steven] Hey, Uncle Larry.
- Hey, Steven.
I thought you boys
would be hungry.
- Oh, thank you.
(groans)
- [Steven] Uncle
Larry brought dinner.
- Is he here?
- [Steven] Yeah.
- I don't know.
- [Steven] Are you hungry?
- No.
- [Steven] No worries, then.
- Thanks.
- [Larry] Well, you're gonna
be a doctor, aren't you?
- (chuckles) Hope so.
- [Larry] Then maybe
your brother will follow.
- Follow?
- [Larry] Yeah, and
finish his studies.
- He did already.
- [Larry] He did?
- Yeah, two years ago.
- I thought that
he moved back home.
- He did just because he didn't
want Mom to be by herself.
- So, he would drive two
hours to college every day?
- An hour if
you drive like him.
- [Larry] (laughs) Yeah.
Sorry, I didn't know.
- It's alright,
he doesn't really advertise
his life too much.
You need to eat.
I know you didn't eat lunch.
- [Nate] What's for dinner?
- Pasta.
- [Nate] I'll get to it,
just leave it on the table.
- OK.
(running water)
(whimpering)
(electronic music)
- [Steven] Hey,
is Herman around?
- He is I.
- Hi, I'm Nate's
brother, Steven.
- My condolences.
- Thank you.
- How's Nate doin'?
- Not too well.
I think he just needs time.
- Totally understand.
- I hope this doesn't
inconvenience your
business too much.
- No, it does not.
Trent has volunteered to
take all of his clients.
- Oh, that's very kind of him.
- [Trent] Hi.
- Hi, you're Trent?
- Yeah, and you're Steven.
- I am.
I think I saw you
at the funeral.
- Yeah, I'm really
sorry for your loss.
- [Steven] Thank you.
- How's Nate?
- [Steven] Not too well.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
He really loved his mom.
- She was well-loved
by the family.
- Of course, yeah.
- Hey, thanks, Trent.
- No, any time.
- Give Nate my regards.
- [Trent] Definitely.
- [Woman] OK, bye.
- [Trent] OK, bye.
Sorry.
- It's OK.
Thanks for taking
Nate's clients.
- [Trent] Oh, no problem at all.
- Herman told me you
weren't getting paid for it.
- It's fine.
A little something for
Nate during his tough time.
- [Steven] That's too kind.
I insist you get paid.
- No, I don't want it.
Besides, Nate knows that I'll
never take a cent from him.
- Of course.
- When's a good time
to drop by and see him?
- [Steven] He's not really too
keen on visitors right now.
- OK,
I'll just drop him a text then.
- That's very thoughtful.
- [Steven] Hey.
- Don't go.
Please don't go back yet.
- I already booked a flight.
- Can't you call and change it?
- It's an internet ticket.
I left it open for now.
(chuckles) Yes,
they let me do that.
I miss you too, Babe.
I love you too.
You're up.
- Yeah.
- You hungry?
- No.
- You should eat though.
- I know, I will.
Do you see that handbag there?
- Yeah.
- [Nate] Mom was gonna use
it for your commencement.
(sniveling)
- There's something
I need to tell you.
- [Nate] Yeah?
- I have a boyfriend.
- Oh, great.
- [Steven] He's super nice.
- That's good.
- So, I told him that I was
staying longer over here
so, he's flying over.
- What for?
- [Steven] Emotional support.
He's nice like that.
- Doesn't he have to work?
- [Steven] Nah, he's
a student as well.
- Med student?
- No, he's getting his PhD.
- [Nate] Smart guy.
- He is.
So, I don't know if
we'll get a hotel
or if I should
have him stay here.
- [Nate] He could sleep
in the living room.
- Nate, you know I'm gonna
have to share a bed with him.
- Right.
- [Steven] So,
what do you think?
- Is he rich?
- [Steven] No.
- What do you suggest?
- Would it bother you if
we stayed in Mom's room?
- Why would I mind?
- 'Cause you're
emotional like that.
- [Nate] But I'm
not unreasonable.
- Well, then it's settled.
- Yes, it is.
- [Steven] You'll like him.
- I'm sure I will but
I'm not exactly in the
mood to make new friends.
- [Steven] Follow me.
Ray, this is Nate.
- Hi, I'm Ray.
- [Nate] Hi.
- Steven talks about
you all the time.
- [Nate] He does?
- Yeah.
- [Steven] Let's get
that luggage in the room.
Thirsty, Babe?
- [Ray] I'm good, thanks.
- So, I heard you're
getting your PhD.
- I am.
- In what field, if you
don't mind me asking?
- Astrophysics.
- How's that going?
- You know, ups and
downs but moving along.
- I see.
- Ray's studying black holes.
- Really?
(flushing toilet)
(running water)
This is a picture
I took of Steven
during our last hiking trip.
After Steven left for college,
we never got a chance
to go hiking again.
So, I printed it out, framed
it, and set it on my desk.
Of course Mom and Dad
thought I was just a
sweet little brother.
Steven and I had
always been close
and shared a bedroom.
When I was and he was ,
we started to experiment
with each other sexually.
After a few years,
we had realized
we'd fallen in love.
Of course, we felt
guilty and ashamed
and we didn't dare tell
anybody what we were doing.
We'd hoped it was a
phase we'd grow out of.
But we ended up
sleeping with each other
until Steven left for college.
We knew this could
destroy our lives
so we made a pact.
- I'll be in Maryland
and you'll go to college
in a different state.
- When's the last night
you'll sleep in my bed?
- [Steven] The night
before I fly off.
- OK.
- You'll be leaving
for college soon.
- Gonna miss you so much.
- [Steven] I'll miss you too.
- You're moving
to a diverse city.
- Your mom and I
want you to know
that if you fall in love...
- Bae.
- It doesn't matter to
us whether that person
is black, white, Asian,
Latino, whatever.
- As long as that person
loves you completely.
- Excited about college?
- [Steven] A little bit.
- That's great.
- No, it's not.
Out with it, Nate.
- Fine.
Why are you so nonchalant
about the whole thing?
- (chuckles) I am far from it.
- You seem to be taking
this transition pretty well.
- So are you.
- Not now, am I?
- Can you feel it?
I hate this just
as much as you do.
Now, what would you have us do?
- Move to a town far far away.
- And cut ties with Mom and Dad?
- Of course not.
- OK, what then?
- We'll stick to the plan.
- You sure?
- Is there a choice?
- No, not really.
- [Voiceover] My grades
went down after Steven left.
Didn't help that we agreed
not to text each other.
The night before Thanksgiving
I could not sleep.
- [Mom] Steven?
Oh, great.
- Hi, Ma.
- Come on in, let
me get your bag.
- [Steven] I got it, it's heavy.
Hey, Nate.
- Good to see you, Steven.
- [Steven] Good to be back.
When's Dad comin' back?
- About an hour or so.
- [Steven] OK.
I think I might go
with a Japanese car
because they last longer.
- Oh, is that so?
- [Steven] People say that.
- Japanese or American
doesn't matter.
Just make sure you get the car
inspected before you buy it.
- I know.
- [Mom] Maybe Steven
should just take the bus.
- He needs a car for
social activities.
- [Mom] He needs to
focus on his studies.
- I am, Mom.
- That was not scary at all.
- Apparently, Nate fell asleep.
- I'm just tired.
- Your dad was scared.
- Pardon me?
- I saw you closing your
eyes and covering them.
- It's late.
- Here, I'll get it.
- [Mom] No, no, no, no, no.
It's after midnight for you.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Honey, turn off the
lights before you go to bed.
- OK.
(sighs) Nate.
- Yes?
- Go to bed.
- I will, don't worry.
(flushing toilet)
(running water)
- [Nate] I miss you.
- I miss you too.
- Good afternoon.
- [Nate] Afternoon.
- We left breakfast
for you in the fridge.
- Thank you.
- Hey.
- Did you sleep well?
- It was alright.
How 'bout you?
- Took me a while but I did it.
- Good.
- So, did you get
any on the sheets?
- Excuse me?
- Your come or his come?
- [Steven] What the f*ck?
- You guys were
f*cking, weren't you?
- Yes, I missed him.
- I don't know how I
feel about you guys
f*cking on Mom's bed.
- Mom wanted us to be happy.
- Her bed is not
even five days cold.
- We're getting a hotel.
- [Ray] What's going on?
- [Steven] Close the door.
We're gonna check in.
I'll come back.
(sniffling)
- Where did Mom and Dad go?
- I don't know.
- Do you think there
might be an afterlife?
- You know I'm an atheist
and I know you are too.
- You never was.
- Agnostic.
- I suppose.
- And you suppose
there's an afterlife
for all the plants
and animals too?
- I don't know.
- Like Christopher
Hitchens said,
"We can't lie to ourselves
that we're any more important
than any other living creature."
- You worship him.
- (chuckles) He
makes a lot of sense.
- I'm not fully convinced.
- What about the fact
that the Universe,
vast as it is, only has one
known planet to support life?
This goes against the notion
that there is a creator
because, if there was one,
he certainly did not
do a very good job
fine tuning the Universe.
- Yeah, well, Christopher
Hitchens is dead.
I want to see Mom and Dad again.
- Me too.
- Do you think we will?
- I wish I could say, "we will."
We're not leaving.
- (laughs) I figured.
- You're too smart for me.
- Hardly, you're
just too patient.
- I'm so sorry.
- It's OK.
You get a free pass.
- How did I get so lucky?
- [Voiceover] It's been
hard without Dad and Mom.
Their absence has
caused a black hole
which seems to be sucking
the life out of me.
I remember the
mornings before school.
- Bye, Mom.
- [Mom] Bye.
- Bye, Mom.
- [Mom] Bye, Honey.
- Dad.
- Yes?
- I understand how all the
forces add up to zero now.
- Good.
Go to sleep.
You need a sharp
mind for tomorrow.
- I'm gonna read over some
more stuff before bed.
- Really?
Now?
- Yes.
Can I ask you another question?
- Sure.
- How do you manage
to stay up so late
and get up so early
every morning to work?
- Son, when you find
a job that you love,
you will never work
a day in your life.
- You should sleep already.
- Just want to make sure
I remember everything.
- You will.
- It's important.
The following month Dad was
diagnosed with stomach cancer.
(sniffles)
He d*ed two years later.
The doctors said he
put up a good fight,
lived longer than
they ever expected.
Mom?
- Yeah?
- I need to tell you something.
- Sure.
- Can you sit down?
- Sure.
OK, I'm all ears.
- I'm not straight.
- Oh, Honey, that's OK.
- [Nate] Really?
- Yes.
- I never got the
chance to tell Dad.
- Oh, Honey, your Dad would
not have cared either way.
He loved you so much.
It only matters that you
find somebody to love.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Is there?
- Is there what?
- [Mom] Someone special?
- No.
- Good, 'cause you're too young.
(sniveling)
- It's OK.
It's OK, I'm here.
(weeping)
I'm here.
It's OK, Bae.
- What if Mom and Dad know?
- How would they?
- What if they're
in Heaven watching?
- Nate.
- They'll be so ashamed of us.
- There is no Heaven.
- What if there is?
- Don't be silly.
Relax.
Go to sleep.
- Can you please hold
me until I fall asleep?
- Are you going to sleep soon?
- I don't know.
- I don't know if I can.
- You could just slip out
as soon as I fall asleep.
- Ray's still awake.
- Please.
- It's not a good idea.
- (sighs) OK.
Thanks for not leaving just yet.
- You don't need to say that.
(sniffling)
- You're right, you should go.
Don't keep Ray waiting.
- Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- OK.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Do you want to go
get your brother?
- [Steven] No, he's
still sleeping.
- Are you sure?
- [Steven] Yeah.
- It's lunch time.
- [Steven] I know.
- Is it possible for someone
to sleep more than hours?
- [Steven] If he only
sleeps part of it.
- [Voiceover] Like
most brothers,
Steven and I disagreed a lot
but never to a point where we
couldn't get back together.
- What's wrong with
doing your pre-med here?
It's just pre-med anyway.
- 'Cause my chances of getting
into med school are higher
if I do my pre-med
at a good college.
- He'll come visit
during the holidays.
- [Nate] You do realize
that Dad's prognosis
is a year, right?
- Yes, Nate, I'm
very aware of that.
- [Nate] Well, don't
you want to be here?
- Kids,
your dad just wants
you to live your lives.
- Let's eat dinner.
- Nate loves you to death.
- (chuckles) Literally.
- Exactly. (chuckles)
Look.
- [Dad] They finally
stopped fighting.
- I think my perversion
has reached a new level.
- Why do you say that?
- I'm using Dad's
cancer to keep you here.
- Nate.
- Yeah?
- I love you.
- Will you always love me?
- Of course.
- Even after you find someone?
- Regardless.
- You will find someone,
you know that, right?
- I don't.
- It's college,
everybody's looking.
- We should go back inside
before they suspect something.
- OK.
Will you sleep in
my bed tonight?
- Of course.
(knocking)
- [Steven] Hey, Trent.
- Yeah, how are
you doing, Steven?
- [Steven] Gettin' by.
Come on in.
- [Trent] Thanks.
- I'll get Nate for ya.
- Is Jessica's knee still
givin' her problems?
- Yes.
I've taken her off
squats and lunges.
- She loves 'em though.
- (chuckles) She totally does.
She loves the pain.
- Thank you for helping me out.
I should be back soon.
- Don't worry about it.
Just take all the
time that you need.
- Thank you.
- So, your brother's
still in town?
- Yes.
- Who's the other guy, huh?
- His boyfriend.
- They make a cute couple.
- Everything OK?
- Yeah.
- Looks like something's
goin' on there.
- Looks like it.
- That's a good thing, right?
- Yes, definitely.
- [Nate] Trent.
- Yes?
- [Nate] You are an amazing guy.
- No.
- You are.
You deserve a really good guy.
- [Trent] You think so?
- Yes.
Do you find any of
the new trainers hot?
- Yes.
- [Nate] Do you flirt
with any of them?
- You know the
answer to that, Nate.
Stop playing games, OK?
- [Nate] I'm not playing games.
- What is this, then?
- I know we had sex.
- I know, I was there.
- Trent, it meant a lot to me.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- But you drew back.
There's no one here.
- I can't.
- You want to go
back to my place?
- I can't.
- You can't?
- No.
- OK.
- I'm sorry.
- You have to give
me more than that.
OK, what's going on?
I love you, Nate.
- Oh, Trent, please
don't say that.
- Why not?
It's true.
- Because I can't say it back.
- How long you gonna
make me wait for it?
- I don't know.
- What's goin' on?
(sighs)
- Trent, I'm conflicted.
- You're conflicted.
- My heart wants one thing
and my mind wants another.
- Is there someone else?
- I never see him.
He lives out of state.
- Where is he?
- Maryland.
- Why didn't you
tell me about him?
- I am really sorry.
- (laughs) You're really sorry?
- Trent.
(laughs)
- I am such an idiot, right?
I'll lock the gate.
Can you activate the alarm?
- OK.
- You still in
love with that guy?
- Yes.
- You guy's together?
- No.
- Who is he?
- I can't tell you.
- Why?
- I can't say but please
know that it's k*lling me.
- It's k*lling me too.
- I'm so sorry.
- I'll still do
anything for you.
That's how stupid I am.
- I know I'll commit
m*rder for you.
- (chuckles) Well,
that makes me happy.
- I'm serious.
- I know.
(Trent sighs)
- I'm glad you came.
- Me too.
What's on your mind?
- My parents.
- I'm sorry.
- It's good memories.
- They were pretty
awesome, weren't they?
- Yes.
I miss them.
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
(running water)
What's wrong?
- I know you're
grieving and so am I
but you need to start
cleaning up after yourself.
- That's what this is about?
- Yes.
- [Nate] Really?
- Yeah, there's a fine line
between depression and laziness.
Good night.
- G'night.
Go away.
- [Steven] Nate.
- [Nate] I'm not
being lazy, I swear.
- I know.
I overreacted.
Can you face me, please?
Can't sleep?
Maybe if you turned the
lights off that would help.
- Makes it worse.
- OK.
Come here.
- Come back to me.
- Nate, we agreed about this.
- But Mom and Dad are gone now.
- But we still have
relatives to face.
Uncle Larry, Susie.
- Who cares about them?
- And what about our friends?
- I don't care.
- You're not thinking properly.
- I've never stopped
loving you, Steven.
- And I never
stopped loving you.
- Seems like you
moved on though.
- Ray?
Nate, we're capable of
loving more than one person
in our life.
One day you'll have someone else
and I'll be the one jealous.
- Are you jealous of Trent?
- Should I be?
- We f*cked.
- Great.
(heavy breathing)
Lube?
- Same place.
(deep panting)
(moaning)
- Do you want milk, Babe?
- No thanks.
- So, any interesting news?
- Not really.
I think that's the
earliest I've seen him up.
- Nah, he might go back to bed.
- Good morning.
- Up already?
- Yes.
- Good morning.
- Good morning, how are you?
- Good, thanks for asking.
How are you?
- [Nate] Sleepy.
- [Steven] You want
to go back to bed?
- [Nate] I think I'm fine.
- [Ray] What's your
plan for today?
- Clean up the house.
- I said it was fine.
- No, I insist.
- [Ray] Babe, did you want
to show me the sandwich shop
you went to as a kid?
- He is a kid.
- (chuckles) Shut up.
- A big kid.
- [Steven] Yes, of course.
- I look forward to it.
- Sorry.
- [Ray] It's OK.
- Should we go at noon?
- Sounds good.
I ate so much.
I need to go to the bathroom.
- Go ahead.
- Excuse me.
- So, how was it?
- It never changes.
- I told you so.
- [Steven] (sighs) Miss you.
Nate, not here.
- Want to go to our room?
- No.
- Just cuddle?
- Nate, I really shouldn't.
- Why not?
- Because of Ray.
I'm sorry.
- You're sorry?
- Yes.
- About what?
- (sighs) About this.
About last night.
- You're sorry about last night?
- Yes.
- I'm not sorry.
- You know what I mean.
- I do
but I honestly don't
know how much longer
I can bear it anymore.
- What do you mean by that?
- [Ray] What did I miss?
- Miss?
- That's what he said.
- I was just clarifying.
- Have a seat.
I'll tell you what you missed.
- Sure.
- Why don't you, Nate?
- Go ahead.
- What did he miss?
- I, uh, can't recall.
- For some reason,
I can't either.
- Did you two just get
amnesia or something?
- When we get together
we just talk randomly.
- You can't remember what
you just talked about?
- Do you have a brother?
- No.
- Well, let me tell you this:
When you have a brother,
close to your age
and you grow up together,
he becomes the wall
at which you bounce
your racquetballs off.
- I hear what
you're sayin', Nate,
but I'm not sure if Ray does.
- I think I do.
- It's someone you can
challenge and be challenged by.
It's a boy thing.
Two boys challenging each other
but in a good way.
- Sounds good.
(knocking)
(Steven sighs)
- [Steven] Sometimes I
wish we weren't brothers.
- I don't.
- We could be together.
- But how would I have
survived elementary,
middle and high school?
- I'm sure you
would've been fine.
- Wouldn't have had anyone to
defend me against the bullies.
- You were fierce
in high school.
You defended me
from the bullies.
- They weren't bullies.
- They were b*tches.
- Exactly.
- [Ray] Thanks for having me.
- [Nate] Take care
of Steven for me.
- You bet.
- I'll call you when we land.
- OK.
- Bye.
- Safe travels.
- Hey, Babe, can you
give me a minute?
- Shuttle's here.
- I know, can you load
my luggage please?
- OK.
- Thanks.
(Nate snivels)
- [Nate] I can't
live without you.
- I'm just a phone call away.
- I miss you.
- I've always missed you.
- Babe.
- I'll be right there.
- OK.
Goodbye, Nate.
- Bye.
- I should go.
- OK.
- [Voiceover] Steven
called me later that day.
He told Ray everything
but Ray was not surprised.
Ray went on to say that
he would accept Steven's
past on condition
that Steven would not be
intimate with me again.
Needless to say,
Steven told me that we
absolutely needed to move on.
- Goodbye.
(deep sigh)
(electronic music)
- Nine.
Eight.
- Hey, Nate.
- Hey, Jess.
(laughs)
You're early.
- Well, you know, it happens.
I'm excited to see you.
- Thank you.
- Give me a hug. (laughs)
- [Trent] Leaving?
- Yeah, my last
client cancelled.
- Oh, I was going to
ask you if you wanted
to get dinner or something.
- You're not done yet, are you?
- I can cancel.
- No, you shouldn't do that.
- That's true.
How are you?
- I'm OK.
(chuckles)
- So, after I left you,
I went and got my favorite
dish in the whole world.
Yes, it's meatloaf
from the same place.
I know you're sick of it.
You must be wondering why
I've e-mailed you a video
telling you my deepest,
darkest secret.
Life has no purpose for me now.
Please forgive me. (sniffles)
I love you.
(knocking)
(knocking)
- I was just in
the neighborhood.
You OK?
Godless (2015)
Moderator: Maskath3