♪ Hiya boys got your g*ns?
Get 'em loaded ♪
♪ And let's start the evening
with a bang ♪
♪ Whatcha know?
Even though we've exploded ♪
♪ We're ready for another bang
♪ From California
to the Rio Grande ♪
♪ A gal should keep
her amm*nit*on handy ♪
♪ In the West
in the wide open spaces ♪
♪ Nobody ever gives a dang
♪ We just root and toot and
sh**t and trouble can go hang ♪
♪ Come on in this must be
where the place is ♪
♪ Let's start the evening
with a bang ♪
Now simmer it down
and I'll give you a treat
by telling a tale
of Tenderfoot Pete,
who came to this neck
of the woods from the East
not a-ridin' a horse
but astride of a beast.
After ridin' so far,
he admitted defeat.
Oh, he was tender, alright,
but not in the feet.
With his Stetson and boots
and g*n belt and vest,
he really appeared
like a man of the West.
This dude brought his g*n.
It was really a brute.
There was just one thing wrong.
The g*n wouldn't sh**t.
You know what they said
as they buried the coot?
"Just don't aim your g*ns
if your g*ns will not sh**t."
Yeah!
♪ Come on boys get your g*ns
get 'em loaded ♪
♪ Don't sh**t no blanks
you'll bite the dust ♪
♪ Take that gent
ain't his manners corroded? ♪
♪ Hats off to ladies is a must
♪ A lady is a lady
do not trifle ♪
♪ Especially
if she has a g*n or r*fle ♪
♪ In the West
in the wide open spaces ♪
♪ Nobody ever gives a dang
♪ We just root and toot and
sh**t and trouble can go hang ♪
♪ Come on in this is just
where the place is ♪
♪ Let's start the evening
with a bang ♪♪
Pair of eights high.
Cost you 500.
Five hundred, huh?
I'll just bump that 500.
Well, I'll have to see you.
Dealer: Last card coming out.
Queen. Pair of aces.
Give up?
Make your bet.
Well, Decker, you sure are a hog
for punishment.
- How's everybody doing?
- Not bad, Brandy. Not bad.
Looks like I might own the joint
'fore the night's over.
That's fine.
Maybe I can get a raise, huh?
Yeah, you bet you can.
You bet you can.
I think I need
that rabbit's foot of yours.
Oh, it's that bad.
Well, here.
Skinner: He's gonna need
more than that
'fore I get through with him.
- Maybe you need a drink.
- No.
I don't want a drink,
but I could use some coffee.
- Anybody else?
- No, thank you.
I'll take some.
So you don't think
my aces got you b*at, huh?
Decker: It's your bet.
Well, there's a thousand
says they have.
You think that's enough?
Well, doggone your ornery hide.
I'll just bet you 5000
on top of that.
Well, that's fine, Henry,
but I, I don't see
any more money
and there's no jawbone
in this game.
Well, who said anything
about jawbone?
How much will you put up
against my ranch?
Look, you don't wanna
bet your ranch, Henry.
I'll just call the thousand.
Oh, no, no, you ain't
gonna get off that easy.
You asked for it.
How much against the ranch?
If that's the way you want it.
- I'll go 5000.
- You've got yourself a bet.
- What you got?
- Now wait a minute.
Just put the bet down
on a piece of paper.
There you are.
My ranch against 5000 cash.
- Oh!
- You b*rned me!
- That's hot!
- I'm sorry.
Skinner: Oh, it's alright.
Brandy: Let me wipe it off.
I must have tripped
over something.
Don't worry about it, huh?
I'm terribly, terribly sorry.
Forget it. Let's play poker.
You callin' my bet or ain't you?
I said I'd call.
Three shinin' aces.
Where?
I only see two.
I had an ace in the hole.
How'd that deuce get there?
Maybe you only thought
you had an ace.
Looks like
that makes my two pair good.
Wait a minute!
Get your hands off that pot.
Henry, you were bluffing
and you were called.
Now why don't you take it
like a man?
Somebody switched that card
on me.
You bunch of crooks!
All of you!
I'd take it easy if I were you.
You think I'm gonna let you
cheat me out of everything
I got in the world?
You think I'm crazy?
Dummy, you and the Professor
take him outside
and cool him off.
Nice work, honey.
That rabbit's foot never fails.
Well, that does it.
We got a solid strip of land
clear across the valley now.
Now that you've got it,
what are you gonna do with it?
Fence it off,
charge four bits a head
for every steer
that's driven across.
Hm, with all of them
Texas cattle comin' through,
that ought to run
into quite a little dough.
Decker: A hundred and fifty,
two hundred thousand a year.
I know what it is
I like about you.
- What?
- You're so good at arithmetic.
A hundred and fifty thousand.
I could afford to get married.
I could afford not to.
Well, I'd better be
getting downstairs.
Now there's just one thing
you gotta learn, baby.
You've got to keep those
pretty fingers out of the till.
You can't blame a poor girl
for trying.
- But you never quit.
- That's right.
Bailey: Hold on, Skinner!
Where you goin' with that r*fle?
I'm gonna k*ll
that dirty skunk Decker.
He sucked me
into bettin' my ranch.
Then he switched
my hole card on me.
You ain't killin' nobody, Henry.
Give me that r*fle, sheriff.
He can't get by with this.
You-- You better leave that
up to me.
They won't get your ranch,
don't you worry about that.
Now go on home
before you get yourself k*lled.
I ain't askin' you, Henry.
I'm tellin' you.
Now go on home.
- What's the trouble, sheriff?
- No trouble.
Ah, no, something's up. I can
tell by the way you're walkin'.
When Tom Destry walked
like that,
he was heading for trouble.
You want any help?
I'll holler if I do, Rags.
I used to be a fast man
with a g*n.
When I was Destry's deputy,
them gunslingers didn't dare
come to town.
Looking for somebody, sheriff?
Just wanna find out
what Decker's running up there.
A poker game or a land grab.
Why don't you be a smart sheriff
and buy me a drink instead?
If I were smart, Brandy,
I wouldn't be a sheriff.
Brandy, Brandy,
they won't believe me!
I was Destry's deputy, wasn't I?
- Sure, you were.
- Ah, there, you see?
I ought to know,
I was the other deputy.
Well, come in, sheriff.
Come in. Have a drink.
Thanks,
I only drink with friends.
Any reason we can't be friends?
I could name one.
Alright, suppose you tell me.
Might be something
we could do about it.
- There is.
- What's that?
Give Henry Skinner's ranch
back to him.
Why should I?
I won it.
That's not what Henry says.
What does Henry say?
He says you switched cards
on him.
Well, there you are.
Henry never was
a very good loser.
I told him not to bet,
but he wouldn't listen.
You called the bet, didn't you?
Certainly. What was I supposed
to do? Fold the winning hand?
I had a lot of money
in that pot.
I didn't figure you'd steal it
from him for nothing.
I don't think I like that word.
You give me a better one.
I'll use it.
Now, look, I won that land
on the level,
but just to save
any misunderstanding,
I'm willing to give it back.
Will that make you happy?
Reasonably so.
Here's the paper he signed.
- Mind if I tear this up?
- Yeah.
I'd rather you gave it to Henry.
Maybe it will teach him
to stay out of poker games
he can't afford.
That's fair enough.
You don't suppose I've been
wrong about you all this time.
A first impression, sheriff.
Yeah.
Alright, boys.
Let's liven up this crowd.
♪ You can't fool a man
by wearing a bustle ♪
♪ Take it off or shake it off
with wiggles of the can-can ♪
♪ You can't fool a man
by faking a muscle ♪
♪ You'll begin to be a winner
if you can can-can ♪
♪ You'll get the eye
as you go dancing by ♪
♪ So swing it low
and swing it high ♪
♪ And you must try
as you go prancing by ♪
♪ To swing your skirt
a bit high high higher ♪
♪ You will get your man
without any tussle ♪
♪ He will give in you'll be
livin' following this plan ♪
♪ You will get your man
if you can can can-can ♪
♪ You can't fool a man
by wearing a bustle ♪
♪ Take it off or shake it off
with wiggles of the can-can ♪
♪ You can't fool a man
by faking a muscle ♪
♪ You'll begin to be a winner
if you can can-can ♪
♪ You'll get the eye
as you go dancing by ♪
♪ So swing it low
and swing it high ♪
♪ And you must try
as you go prancing by ♪
♪ To swing you skirt
a bit high high higher ♪
All: Higher! Higher! Higher!
Higher!
♪ You will get your man
without any tussle ♪
♪ He will give in you'll be
livin' following this plan ♪
♪ You will get your man
♪ I will get my man
♪ You will get your man
♪ If you can can can can
can can can-can ♪♪
Quiet, everybody!
- John, stop it! No, no, don't!
Decker: Shut up! Shut up!
The mayor of our town has an
important announcement to make.
The Honorable Hiram J. Sellers.
Man 1: Hiya, mayor!
Friends, feller citizens...
as the poet says,
"Life is real.
Life is earnest.
And the goal is but the grave."
Or words to that effect.
It is my sorrowful duty
to inform you
that one of our fellow townsmen
has just made the goal.
Our esteemed sheriff,
Joseph Bailey,
is no longer with us.
In the absence
of other officials
and in the interest
of law and order
and in accordance
with ordinance number
eight thousand,
uh, six, five, four,
I must appoint
a temporary successor.
I have considered this matter
seriously
and sought the advice
of prominent citizens.
I have decided
to appoint a sheriff,
a man who is not without
experience as a peace officer,
a man you all love and respect.
Mister, uh...
- What's his name again?
- Reginald.
Reginald T. Barnaby.
He means Rags.
Man 2: Wonder
what the T stands for.
Man 3: Must mean Thirsty.
Man 4: Hurray
for the new sheriff!
Rags: Yay!
Uh, w-- what are we
cheering for?
It's for you, Rags.
You're the new sheriff.
Hurray... I'm what?
That's right, sheriff.
Congratulations.
Mayor!
As the mayor
of this municipality,
I here and now
pronounce you sheriff.
Drinks on the house.
Everybody!
Huh? What?
Brandy?
Brandy, are they playin'
another of them jokes on me?
No, Rags, it's no joke.
You're really the sheriff.
Huh?
Here you are, boys.
Here's to law and order
and a long life
to our new sheriff.
All: Hurray!
You're not drinkin', sheriff.
What's the matter?
You feelin' faint?
I ain't gonna drink no more.
Not if I'm really
gonna be sheriff.
A man's gotta choose between
the bottle and the badge.
Go on! Laugh!
But I ain't gonna make
a mockery of law and order.
From now on, the law's gonna be
respected in this town.
You see? We got a strong man
in the saddle.
A man of character.
I'm with you, sheriff.
If you need any help,
I'll be your deputy.
I've already got somebody
in mind to be my deputy.
- Oh.
- A fellow named Destry.
Destry?
Oh, Rags.
Destry's been dead for years.
Sounds like the right man
for the job.
It's Destry's son
I'm talkin' about.
Young Tom
cleaned up Silver Creek
and that's a lot rougher town
than this.
Oh, he ain't got
much of a name yet,
but the last time I saw him,
his dad was raising him
to be the toughest fightin' man
that ever wore a star.
That's what this town needs
and that's just what
this town's gonna get.
Hey, sheriff!
- Huh?
- The stage is comin'.
- Oh-oh!
- It's up on the ridge now.
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Oh-oh! Here, here.
You take these and lock up.
Bessie Mae! Bessie Mae!
Bessie Mae!
- Are you callin' me?
- The stage is comin'.
- Is Destry's room ready?
- My rooms is always ready.
Just wanted to make sure.
Bessie: Have you seen doc
any place?
No! Ain't seen him all day.
I sent him
to the post office an hour ago
to pick up a new hat
I ordered clear from St. Louis.
Well, I ain't got time
to hear it! The stage is comin'.
Bessie: Well, that's what
I'm sayin'.
If you see him any place,
tell him he'd better be
at the station to help me
with the baggage.
And if he's over at the saloon
gamblin' with that woman
again...
Oh.
Thirty bucks, doc.
I call.
I'll play light.
No, you won't.
Either cash or fold.
Hey! Hey, folks!
Hey, everybody!
The coach is comin' in.
Destry will be here any minute!
Uh, oh, doc,
you better get out of here.
Bessie Mae is lookin' for you.
She wants you at the coach stop
to help her with the baggage.
Mac: Yeah, let's take a look
at this Destry.
- Right.
- Comin', Brandy?
No, I saw a stagecoach once.
- I'll be right back.
- I won't be here.
Aren't you gonna give me
a chance to get even?
Sure. Right now.
But if I don't meet that coach,
Bessie Mae will skin me alive.
She'll skin you alive, anyway.
Go on and bet.
You've probably got me b*at.
I have. Uh...
- There.
- What's that?
- It's my personal IOU.
- Oh, no.
- Oh, Brandy, Brandy!
- What's in the box?
Uh, Bessie Mae's new hat.
I'm a gambler.
Thirty bucks against the hat.
Sight unseen.
You don't think I'd bet
Bessie Mae's new hat, do you?
- Yeah, I think so.
- I resent that.
Well, uh, uh, on the other hand,
uh, Bessie Mae wouldn't want me
to throw away the winning hand,
do you think?
Man 5: Whoa!
That's him.
Destry's in there, folks.
Rags: There he is!
Look at him!
6'4" of bone and muscle.
Man 5: Here you are, mister.
Take it easy with that luggage.
We ain't got time. Here.
Whoopie! What'd I tell you?
That boy's a wild cat.
Tom! Tom, my boy.
Am I glad to see you.
We'll show 'em, won't we, huh?
Look, mister.
My name is Jack Larson.
- You ain't Tom Destry?
Tom: Destry?
- Oh, that-- that's me.
- There he is.
You're Tom Destry?
You know, folks are always
asking me that.
- How are you, Rags?
- Oh.
Are you sure you're Tom Destry?
Well, I'm reasonably sure.
He sure is a wildcat, ain't he?
Will you get rid
of those blasted things?
Well, here.
Here, miss, you take 'em.
Take 'em away, please.
I'm Bessie Mae Curtis.
I've got a nice room
all ready for you,
Mr. Destry and Mrs. Destry.
- Oh, we're not married.
- Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.
There's no need
to be sorry, ma'am.
May not be a bad idea.
Excuse me.
Tom: Miss Phillips, if you'll
tell me where you're staying,
I'll be glad to take care
of your luggage for you.
Well, the only trouble is
I don't know where I'm going.
You see, my uncle
was supposed to meet me here.
- Oh, well--
- Tom. Tom.
Let's get off the street.
I'll take you over--
Just a minute, Rags.
Just a minute.
I wanna make sure Miss Phillips
is gonna be alright.
Oh, you don't have to bother
about me.
I'm sure he'll be along soon.
Well, who is your uncle, dearie?
- Henry Skinner.
- Oh.
Well, his ranch
is out west of here.
If I can find that
no-good husband of mine,
I'll have him drive ya.
Well, thank you very much.
Meanwhile, come on over,
I'll fix
a cup of tea
for you and Mr. Destry.
- Fine.
- Are you crazy, Bessie Mae?
- Tom Destry don't want no tea.
- Oh.
Oh, will you put
that blasted bird cage down?
Here. Now come on.
Come along with me.
- Bye, and thanks a lot.
- Excuse me.
What's your hurry, Rags?
Mr. Decker's waitin' over
at the saloon
to buy a drink for,
uh, Mr. Destry.
Well, that can hold.
I got a more important matter.
Now, Rags,
that ain't a way to act.
- Mr. Decker wouldn't like it.
- No, he wouldn't.
I sure wouldn't wanna disappoint
Mr. Decker, whoever he is.
That's right.
He's real sensitive that way.
Maybe you better come along
with me and Curly.
Have a nice trip?
A bargain, huh?
Well, that's a matter
of opinion.
Curly: Hey, everybody! Hey!
Take a look at your new deputy.
- So you're Tom Destry?
- Yeah.
I-- I don't know why it is,
but folks always seem surprised.
Well, my name is Decker.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, the boys said
you wanted to see me.
Yes. And this is our mayor,
the Honorable Hiram J. Sellers.
Glad to have you with us, sonny.
Glad to meet
both of you gentlemen.
Believe it or not, boys...
- He's dry behind the ears.
- Dry behind the ears.
Come on now.
You can do better than that.
Much better,
as you'll find out.
I'll be lookin'
forward to it, ma'am.
Come on, I'll buy you a drink.
Wait a minute.
Are you old enough?
I'm old enough.
Say, Destry,
before you have that drink,
there's something
I'd like you to understand.
Well, I'm all for folks
understanding each other.
Well, you see, I have
a sort of a peculiar hobby.
Oh, I know how hobbies are.
I used to collect cigar bands.
- Isn't that silly?
- I collect g*ns.
- Oh?
- From deputy sheriffs.
Oh. Well, you got many of 'em?
Quite a few, but I can
always use one more.
Well, I, I'd like
to help you out, Mr. Decker,
but I'm afraid I can't.
You mean, I'm gonna have to
take it from you?
Well, that would be
kind of hard to do.
Now hold on!
Wait a minute.
Let's not get excited.
What I'm trying to tell you
is that I don't carry a g*n.
There, you see?
Kind of lucky I didn't have one,
isn't it?
If I'd had one, one of us
might have got hurt.
I wouldn't want anything
like that to happen, would I?
Decker: Well, folks, looks like
we finally got a deputy
that knows what's good for him.
You're absolutely right, boy.
If sheriffs didn't carry g*ns,
they wouldn't get into trouble.
What will you have to drink?
How about a sh*t of milk?
- Is it fresh?
- For sure, it's...
I finally figured out
how you cleaned up Silver Creek.
And you can start doing
the same thing right here.
And don't forget the corners.
Well, they do look
kind of dirty, don't they?
Curly: Hey, you!
Now, hold it, boys.
Let's-- Let's put that thing
down
before somebody gets drowned.
Doc: Rags!
Rags!
Hey, you gotta put me in jail!
- What's the matter? What's--
- Don't argue with me.
- Lock me up!
- But you ain't done nothin'!
Think of something.
You've known me long enough.
- But--
- Oh, too late!
Doc!
I'll find you, you insignifi...
- Give me that hat!
- Get out of here.
Not until I get my hat.
I sent all the way to St. Louis
for that.
Brandy: It's mine now.
Your husband lost it to me.
Lost it?
You cheated him out of it.
You, you hussy.
You're always cheatin' him.
He'd rather be cheated by me
than married to you.
Is that so?
Here, hold that, will you?
I guess she didn't want the hat
after all.
Whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute now.
I was-- I'm just trying
to be help...
Brandy: Ah!
Whoa.
Oh, please, ma'am. I can explain
this whole thing if you just...
Now we each got a chair.
Let's sit down
and talk this over, huh?
Get out of here
before I k*ll you.
- Alright, ma'am. I'm going.
- You better.
Just take it easy.
I'm going. I'm going.
Now I know why they call
this town Restful.
Get out of here!
I'm gone!
Now, honey.
I never thought
I'd live to see the day
when Tom Destry's son
would be a laughin' stock.
Every man can't be just
like his father, Rags.
There wouldn't be anything new
in the world.
Doggone it,
on a job like this,
people gotta be scared of you.
First impressions
are mighty important.
- You mean mine was bad?
- Bad?
Look, I told everybody they were
gonna see a real ring-tailed,
fire-eating gunfighter
like your father.
What happens?
You get off the stage carryin'
a bird cage and a parasol.
I was just tryin'
to help a lady.
That ain't what I hired you for.
You know, I don't hold too much
with first impressions.
The way I figure it,
it's the last impression
that's important.
That ain't true.
Look, Tom,
you know why Decker and his g*ng
made me sheriff?
Because I was the town drunk.
And they figured
they could push me around.
But I aim to fool 'em
and do a real job.
That's what I was just saying.
The first impression
doesn't count.
Kind of had a dream in my mind.
A picture of the both of us.
You and me ridin' side by side.
Made me feel good again
like I was back
ridin' with your pa.
Then you ought to remember this.
Rags: Huh?
Oh.
That's somethin' I ain't
never gonna forget.
His g*n, ain't it? Your pa's?
Well, look, boy, that's what
I've been waitin' for.
Buckle this belt on
and let's go to work.
No, Rags, no.
I... I don't believe in g*ns.
- You don't what?
- I don't believe in g*ns.
My dad had that g*n on the night
he got sh*t in the back.
g*ns didn't do him any good.
There's only one thing
that scares a gunfighter.
It's a judge and jury.
Are you trying to tell me
you cleaned up Silver Creek
without any sh**t'?
That's right.
Then I reckon Silver Creek
couldn't have been
as tough as I heard
'cause you ain't gonna
clean up Restful
with a pocket full of rocks.
You know, I read
about a fellow once.
Name of David.
He did alright with a rock.
I seem to recollect
David used a slingshot.
Ah, it's no good, Rags.
Look, Tom, you'll be better off
back in Silver Creek.
Your pa was a friend of mine.
I don't wanna see you get hurt.
Well, I hadn't figured
on gettin' hurt.
If you don't put any store
in sh**t',
nothin' else can happen.
What this town needs is somebody
like the Destry your pa was,
and it's pretty plain
you ain't it.
I'm sorry I said that.
It's alright. I figure a man
ought to always say
what he thinks.
It's just that I wouldn't feel
right about swearin' you in.
No hard feelin'?
No hard feelings, Rags.
One thing you gotta say
about Phil Decker.
- He puts on a good funeral.
- Put on many of them?
Wouldn't mind havin'
the undertaking concession.
Who's he burying this time?
Joe Bailey.
He used to be the sheriff.
- Stranger here, ain't you?
- Yeah.
What happened to Bailey?
Some say it was a heart att*ck,
and some say it wasn't.
Trouble with Joe Bailey,
he took the job serious.
Any sheriff does that around
here is askin' for a funeral.
Well, I gotta get back
to the diggin's.
If you're looking for a drink,
I ain't had time to do
the milking yet.
I'm looking for Mayor Sellers.
Well, it's about
this time of day
he starts doin' his paintin'.
He ought to be along
pretty soon.
Say, in the meantime
while you're waitin',
why don't you try some of this?
- It's got milk b*at all hollow.
- I'll bet.
You gonna take over
the whole job now?
What job?
Well, Rags was just in here
and traded this for a jug.
I guess he figured
it was better to be
a first-rate drunk
than a second-rate sheriff.
Where is he?
If he ain't
changed his habits none,
he's sleepin' it off back there
where we keep the beer.
Hey! Here's the mayor now.
- Morning, son.
Tom: Morning, mayor.
- Leavin' us so soon?
- No, sir.
As a matter of fact,
I was just lookin' for you.
Do you have the authority
to swear me in as deputy?
I thought that had already
been taken care of.
Well, it seems like
it kind of got overlooked
and I, I think it ought to be
done before I start work.
Well, I'll be glad
to help you, son.
Minute I laid eyes on you,
I figured
you're the right man
for the job.
Sort of the way
I figured it too.
Yeah, it's like the feller says,
"If anything goes wrong,
it's your funeral."
Gather around here,
a couple of you fellers,
and witness this ceremony.
Hold up your right hand.
Do you, Tom Destry,
swear to uphold the law
and do your duty,
no matter what?
I do.
By the power invested in me,
I hereby appoint you
deputy sheriff.
Hope you don't live
to regret it.
Thank you, mayor.
All I needed was a little help.
And I could have done it...
I read a book about a man once.
He needed help
and didn't think he had it.
Made him feel real unhappy.
- Tom.
- Yeah, Rags.
Oh, I thought
you'd g-- gone on the stage.
Well, I, I didn't have enough
money to pay my fare.
They wouldn't let me ride
on jawbone.
Looks like I'm gonna have
to work a few days before
I can get out of town.
- Had the mayor swear me in.
- Swear you in?
You mean, you're gonna stay?
You're gonna stay and help me?
I don't know
how much help I'll be,
but I'd kind of
like to stick around
and watch you whip this town
into shape.
I might learn something.
I gotta get my badge back.
You don't have
to get it back, Rags.
- Huh?
- You never let it go.
Did you see Mr. Destry
while you were in town?
Yes, I just happened
to run into him in the store.
- We had lunch together.
- Has he sh*t anybody yet?
Why, no,
I, I don't think so, Eli.
He has his own ideas
about law enforcement.
There now.
That looks better, doesn't it?
Yeah, I reckon it does.
Has he kissed you yet?
Well, of course not.
Guess he has his own ideas
about everything.
Eli, just get out the backdoor
and get the sheriff out here
quick.
- Martha, get down on the floor.
- What's wrong, pop?
Decker's tryin' to grab
the ranch. Get goin' now.
I'll try and keep 'em off
till you get back.
Hey, what are you
gonna do with that?
I'm gonna sh**t someone.
Hurry up and get Mr. Destry.
You better get out of there,
Skinner!
That's my property and I'm gonna
take it one way or another.
Over my dead body!
Did you ever know
Sheriff Bailey to have
any trouble with his heart?
No. Can't say I did.
Here's a medical report on him
when he got out of the army.
According to this,
his heart was perfect.
He's dead, ain't he?
Yeah, but it doesn't
fit too well
with the report
Doc Curtis signed.
What about the doc?
He any good?
Well, I had a dog once.
He got all swelled up.
Doc wanted to operate.
Next day I had six
of the prettiest-lookin' puppies
you've ever seen.
I think we better
have a talk with him.
No, sir, I wouldn't want
the doc working on me
if I was alive.
Eli: Hey, sheriff! Sheriff!
Sheriff!
Decker and some men
came to take our ranch.
They're sh**t' at my pop.
You gotta come and help us.
- We'll take care of that.
- What about Miss Phillips?
When I left, she was getting
a g*n to sh**t somebody.
Looked like she knew how too.
Ain't that
what I've been telling you?
Even the women gotta use g*ns
in this town.
Take your pick
and let's get goin'.
Looks like you got enough
for both of us, Rags.
- Come on, Eli.
- Oh, Tom.
It's Destry.
Stop that sh**t'.
Do you hear now?
Stop it!
I don't want any more of it.
Look, Rags,
why don't you get yourself
out of here 'fore you get hurt?
Huh?
Tom.
You heard what the sheriff said.
- Cut out that sh**t'.
- Yeah!
Why don't you go on home
and get your parasol?
Better come
out of there, Skinner!
Maybe you didn't hear me.
I said hold your fire.
Maybe you better
take a look at this.
Huh?
Rags: Oh.
Tom.
I'd like to hear what Skinner
has to say about it.
- Yeah.
- Go ahead.
Oh, Rags,
you, you better stay here.
We don't want any more sh**t'.
You betcha.
Skinner: You got here
just in time, Destry.
- They was closin' in on us.
- Are you alright, ma'am?
- Yes, thanks.
- I'm sure glad.
Mr. Skinner, did you write this?
Yes, I did.
Well, I, I guess
that settles the argument.
Oh, no, it don't!
Decker cheated me to get that.
How did he go about it?
Well, I was holdin' three aces
when that woman of Decker's
came in.
She spilled hot coffee
all over me.
Then when I jumped up,
they switched my hole card.
Oh, that way. Any witnesses?
There was five of 'em
and they all work for Decker.
Seems to me you were sittin'
in the wrong game.
And what are you
gonna do about it?
Tom: Nothing.
Nothing?
There's nothing I can do.
This gives Decker the land.
I can't run him off
his own property.
And you're the one
who talked so much
about justice
and law enforcement.
I'm sorry, ma'am,
I'd rather be horsewhipped--
And I'd like to be the one
to do it.
You mean, you're gonna let 'em
take our ranch?
- I can't help it, Eli.
- Gee.
Look, I, I don't blame you folks
for the way you feel.
But I'm afraid
you'll have to get out for now.
Then maybe we can figure out
some way
to get your ranch back for you.
That's what Joe Bailey told me.
- When was that?
- Just before he d*ed.
That heart att*ck
came on awful convenient.
- Well, what about it?
- It's all yours, Mr. Decker.
- Huh?
- Come on, Rags.
Tom, what are you sayin'?
You can't give away no ranch
just like that!
- Skinner lost it to him.
- But Skinner is my friend!
Look, Rags, there's no two ways
about the law.
Either you enforce it
or you don't.
Is that right, Mr. Decker?
Destry,
you're a pretty smart fella.
We're gonna get along alright.
Anything you want,
you just come and see me.
Just remember what I said
about the law, Mr. Decker.
No two ways about it.
Uh, but, Tom!
Come in.
Now wait a minute.
Don't start throwin' things.
I just came in
to have a little talk.
What have we got to talk about?
Well, I'm not sure.
If we sit around a little while,
we ought to be able
to think of something.
It's a real nice place
you got here.
- You just get up?
- What difference does it make?
Oh, none, really.
That night work gets confusing,
doesn't it?
I used to work a graveyard shift
myself.
- What do you mean by that?
- Nothing.
Just trying
to make conversation.
I don't think I like
your type of conversations.
To tell you the truth,
I don't care much for it myself.
Would you like a cup of coffee?
Well, that's real neighborly
of you.
Why did you come here?
Well, being a sheriff,
I figured
I ought to get around
and meet the people.
Try to find out
what goes on in town.
- What have you found out?
- You know, it's a funny thing.
People around here don't seem
inclined to do much talking.
Uh, uh, easy now. There's
no need to spill that on me.
- We're not playing poker.
- What are you talking about?
I read a book once
about a fella.
He was playing cards
and somebody spilled
hot coffee on him.
Time he sat down again,
he didn't have the same hand
he started with.
- Get out of here. Get out!
- Alright, I'm going.
And you better mind
your own business
or you'll wind up full of holes!
- Like Bailey?
- Yes, like Bailey!
Thanks.
Wait.
What are you gonna do?
I haven't decided yet.
Look, there's a stage
leaving town in about an hour.
Do yourself a favor
and be on it.
Why, I was just beginning
to like it here.
The feeling isn't mutual.
You know something?
I don't think you're half as bad
as you make out to be.
Never mind what I am.
Yes, sir.
I bet you've got
a beautiful face
underneath all that paint.
Why don't you wipe it off
someday and take a look at it?
You might be surprised.
Rent day, Miss Sweetland.
I know it is, but I always
pay it to your wife.
Uh, she's very busy today.
I am taking time out
from my work to do it for her.
Well, if you think it's alright.
Oh, it will be perfectly
alright, Miss Sweetland.
Doc: Twelve,
seventeen, twenty two.
Ah, that's quite correct.
I'll see that Bessie Mae
gives you a receipt.
- Bessie Mae will what?
- Bessie Mae will get it.
Bessie Mae!
Oh, well, this is
a pleasant surprise.
What do you mean a surprise?
I live here.
Oh? Oh, oh, so you do.
So you do.
Well, they come and go.
Good day.
Hold on, doc, I...
I did wanna talk to you
about something.
Oh, well, just, uh, step
right in my office.
Going for a drive,
were you, ma'am?
- No, I wasn't, but I--
- Excuse us, my dear.
This is an emergency.
A patient!
Sit down, Tom. Sit down.
Seems like Bessie Mae's
right upset about something.
Yeah, that's just
her normal condition.
Now put that
right under your tongue.
Ever have any spots
in front of your eyes?
Only when I play poker.
That's the worst kind.
Well, your temperature's normal.
Now take off your shirt.
There's nothin' wrong
with me, doc.
I know. You're not married.
Take off your shirt.
Doc, I wanna talk to you
about Joe Bailey.
What, what about him?
I believe you certified
that he d*ed of a heart att*ck.
Yes, seems I, uh,
recollect I did that.
Uh, well, he's dead, anyway.
Let's go get a drink.
Did you know that a man
can be sent to prison
for falsifying
an official document?
I didn't do any falsifying.
They told me
he d*ed of a heart att*ck,
and that's what I wrote down--
Who's they?
Uh, Decker and Mayor Sellers.
They were present
at the sad event.
Did you make an examination
of the body?
Well, no, not exactly.
Why not?
What would you do if someone
asked you to sign a paper
and had a g*n in your ribs?
- I'd sign the paper.
- That's what I did.
And if I did, I'd be in as much
trouble as you are right now.
If there's anything I could do
to make it right, I'll do it!
You could go
make that examination,
find out
what really k*lled Bailey.
Sure, sure. Find out
what really k*lled him.
I-- I'll be glad to.
Hey... Hey, wait a minute.
I-- I couldn't do that.
Decker may not like that.
You know, doc,
I had a friend once.
He had a choice too.
Between the devil
and the deep blue sea.
Had a hard time
makin' up his mind.
Larson: Just a minute, Destry.
- I wanna talk to you.
- Yeah?
I've got 5000 head of cattle
comin' up the trail from Texas.
Now I find out
I can't drive 'em through
unless I pay Decker
50 cents a head.
I don't blame you
for being sore, Mr. Larson.
Well, what are you gonna do
about it?
- I'm working on that right now.
- Oh, you are?
Well, you're the one that gave
Decker that last piece of land.
Decker had a legal deed
to the Skinner place.
- Law was on his side.
- It sure was.
Bessie: You get right out
of that wagon, Henry Skinner,
and come on inside.
You're stayin' here
till you know
what you're gonna do.
Well, thank you, Bessie Mae.
Uh, that's mighty nice of you,
but I just don't know
how I'd pay you.
Who said anything about money?
What's friends for
if not to help you out
when you're in trouble?
Now you can store your things
in the shed in back.
- You men give him a hand here.
- Thank you.
Woman 1: Well, I think
it's an outrage.
Ten years of hard work stolen
just like that.
What else do you expect
from this town?
Yeah, I should have
kept on sh**t'
instead of sendin' for him.
If this is your idea
of law enforcement,
you can deal me out.
You've gotta stick to the law
even when you don't like it,
Larson.
That goes for me
and it goes for you too.
- Help you down, Miss Phillips?
- No, thank you.
Eli, sometimes a man has to do
things he doesn't like to,
and a lot of people get mad
at him for it.
The trouble is, once they get
mad, they, they get pig-headed
and won't listen
to an explanation.
In certain cases, Eli, there
isn't any possible explanation.
If you make an exception
in one case,
you may as well not have a law.
You can understand that,
can't you?
I guess I ain't old enough
to understand things like that.
Well, you'll probably
never get old enough
to understand a woman.
Oh, Mr. Larson,
would you help me down, please?
Yes, Miss Phillips. Here.
Thank you.
I gotta go.
- Mornin', men.
- Hi.
Oh, good morning, Miss...
Hm.
You know, it seems to me
everybody in town
got up mad this morning.
You know why, don't you?
Might be because
of Henry Skinner.
Might be.
Look, Rags.
Why don't you go on
back to the office?
No sense in you
spoilin' your reputation
by bein' seen on the street
with me.
I'm the one responsible
for bringin' you here.
I reckon I've gotta take care
of you till you decide to leave.
Come on, let's go back.
Hey, Tom, don't go in there.
That sh**t'
don't mean nothin'.
- Let's just have a look, huh?
- But, Tom!
You'll only get yourself hurt.
All together now.
One, two, three.
Tom: Gettin' started
kind of early, aren't you, boys?
John: So what?
- Oh, nothin' important.
We just have to check up
on these things.
Well, you wouldn't be this fella
Destry now, would you?
- That's me.
- I've heard about you.
You drink milk
and you don't carry a g*n.
That's right.
Now what was it
you were about to tell me?
Oh, uh, about this sh**t'...
- Yeah?
Decker: Any trouble, boys?
Not at all.
I'd call this havin' fun.
Oh, no, no,
no trouble at all, Mr. Decker.
We were just leavin'.
Come on, Tom.
Well, hurry up about it.
Well, enjoy yourselves.
Just be careful
of the mayor's paintings
and watch out
for the chandeliers.
You gonna get out of here
or not?
Hey, that's a nice-lookin' set
of g*ns you got there.
You mind if I see one of them?
Well, be careful. It's loaded.
Got a nice balance to it.
You mind if I see
your g*n, too, Curly?
Why not?
Maybe you better take mine too.
Thank you, Mac.
How about yours?
Sure.
Used to belong
to a deputy sheriff.
Must have been
a little near-sighted.
- Mr. Mayor?
- I'm like you, son.
I never carry one.
I prefer a bow and arrow.
I don't blame you.
Loud noises
kind of bother me too.
I guess you're all wondering
why I borrowed your g*ns.
Yeah, we was wonderin',
but we ain't worried.
You see,
I still got another one.
That's what I'm talking about.
You know, a friend of mine
told me once
that first impressions
are mighty important.
Take you now.
My first impression would be
that you're a tough customer.
- Is that right?
- That's right.
Then you take a fellow like me.
A man comes to town
not wearing a g*n,
not being much in favor
of sh**t' at folks and...
well, your first impression
might be
that he doesn't know
much about g*ns.
- That right?
- Yeah. That's right.
sh**t a mite to the left.
Maybe that's why you didn't hit
my feet a while ago.
You know, a man can have a lot
of fun with g*ns... sometimes.
I never had much use
for these sawed-off jobs.
Maybe I better take
a step closer.
Doesn't sh**t too bad
once you get used to it.
Now that just goes to show you
that sometimes
first impressions can be wrong.
Oh, uh...
there's for the damage.
Now you get this straight.
We don't want any more of this
promiscuous sh**t'
around here.
- Somebody's likely to get hurt.
- That's right.
We don't want
any more of this pr...
We don't want any more sh**t'.
We didn't mean any harm.
Let's get goin', boys.
What's the idea?
Oh, I, I forgot to tell you
about a hobby of mine.
I collect old used b*ll*ts.
Ever try knocking?
Isn't it a little late for me
to start doing that?
I haven't seen much of you
lately.
I've missed you.
Maybe you've been too busy
counting the profits.
Maybe you've found yourself
a new friend.
- A new friend?
- Mm-hm.
- Like who?
- Destry.
You must be kidding.
Well, he was seen coming out
of your house.
So has most of the male
population of this burg.
Yes, I know, but I hear
Destry wasn't thrown out.
I always like to keep in good
with the law.
Oh.
What did he want?
That's not
a very flattering question.
Now let's skip the jokes,
Brandy. What did he want?
Nothing.
He just dropped by
to say he was sorry
about dumping the water on me,
that's all.
I've gotta get ready
for a number.
You know, there are other things
he could be even sorrier about.
Wouldn't it be a little soon
to lose another sheriff?
Not if he steps on my toes.
The only law I believe in
is the law of self-preservation.
Want me to tell him that?
I want you to stay away
from him.
I'll tell him myself.
As soon as doc comes,
bring him on over to Decker's.
Oh, no, no. Look, look, Tom.
Why don't you stay here with me?
Then we'll all go over together.
Stop worrying,
I'll manage to keep out
of trouble till you get there.
But, uh...
Brandy: Got a match?
Sure.
Aren't you afraid
you'll catch cold?
I needed some fresh air.
You ought to get plenty of it
in that outfit.
Thanks.
You upset about something?
What makes you think so?
I read in a book once
where a beautiful woman
always looks more beautiful
when she's upset.
You read the nicest books.
I, I didn't really read that.
I, I made it up myself.
Well, that's even nicer.
Sometimes I find
it's easier to say things
if you pretend
they come out of a book.
I guess it doesn't matter
how you say things...
long as you get 'em said.
Yeah, well, uh,
I better get along.
Don't go in there tonight, Tom.
Please.
Why not?
Just take my word for it.
Don't go in there.
I'm sorry, but I've got
a little civic problem
to take up with the mayor.
Thanks just the same.
Tom.
Here.
Better take my rabbit's foot.
You need it worse than I do.
- Thanks, Brandy.
Larson: Very nice.
Oh, don't let me
interrupt anything.
We won't.
There's lots of room inside.
- I've been looking for you.
- Well, you found me.
I don't know
how much Decker paid you
to let him steal that land,
but you might as well know,
I'm gonna drive
my cattle through
and nobody's gonna stop me.
Maybe not. You can always
try it and find out.
Play along with me and I'll make
it worth your while.
Now you wouldn't want me to
double-cross Decker, would you?
Well, it looks to me like you've
got him double-crossed already.
It works.
Who's the subject today?
- Portrait of Decker.
- Oh.
Pretty good likeness,
don't you think?
Well, I don't wanna be
too critical,
but there's somethin' wrong
with it.
Oh, I know what it is.
It's the eyes.
Too friendly.
Yep.
Oh, Mr. Mayor,
I've got a little problem
to take up with you.
It's sort of official.
I'm always glad to talk over
any problem
concerning the welfare
of the community.
Yeah, I know.
That's why I came to see you.
You see, Rags and I don't seem
to be gettin' much cooperation.
- That so?
- Yeah.
Every time
I start asking questions, uh,
people look kind of vague
and sort of drift away.
What kind of questions
do you ask?
Oh, just ordinary things.
Like, what really happened
to Sheriff Bailey?
I knew a feller once
who made himself real unpopular
askin' questions.
Got so nobody'd talk to him.
He d*ed of loneliness.
- You might keep that in mind.
- I will.
Sounds like a pretty awful way
to die.
I still get curious
about Bailey though.
Let me tell you something, son.
Excuse me,
I don't wanna miss this.
Boys, please.
Please, let's have a little
quiet tonight, will you?
I'm gonna toss you
one of the classics,
so no hootin' or sh**t', huh?
All: Yeah!
- Alright.
♪ The loneliest word
♪ I've heard of is empty
♪ Anything empty is sad
♪ An empty purse
♪ Can make a good girl bad
You hear me, dad?
♪ The loneliest word
♪ I've heard of is empty
♪ Empty things make me so mad
♪ So fill me up
♪ With what I formerly had
♪ Now Venus you know
♪ Was loaded with charms
♪ And look at what
happened to her ♪
♪ Waitin' around
♪ She's minus two arms
♪ Could happen to me?
♪ No sir
♪ Right now is the time
♪ To fill what is empty
♪ Fill my life
brimful of charms ♪
♪ Help me refill
♪ These empty empty arms
♪ The loneliest gal
♪ And I don't know why
♪ My qualifications are fine
♪ Hate to complain
♪ But will you explain
♪ Why nobody's usin' mine?
♪ Now is the time
♪ To fill what is empty
♪ Fill my life
brimful of charms ♪
♪ Help me refill
♪ These empty
♪ Empty empty
♪ Arms ♪
- I wanna talk to you.
- Just a minute.
- Nice singing, Brandy.
- Thanks.
Which one of you
lucky characters
is gonna buy me a drink?
- Here, sit down.
- Look, Brandy.
Go sing another song, will you?
- But I'm thirsty.
- We're busy.
Oh, you don't look
that busy to me.
Destry, I understand you've been
asking questions about Bailey.
Seems like I did mention
his name a couple of times.
Why?
Just a natural curiosity,
I guess.
My father was that way too.
What happened to him?
sh*t in the back.
Maybe we better go to your
office and talk this over.
Oh, no, you don't!
The deputy was just
gonna buy me a drink.
- Weren't you?
- Yes, ma'am.
There's a limit to what
a rabbit's foot can do.
Decker isn't fooling, Tom.
Oh, I don't think
he'd sh**t me here
in front of all these people.
Excuse me, Brandy.
Music! Boys, hold the music,
will you?
Folks, I hate
to interrupt your fun,
but I've got something important
to say to you.
I've just found out
how Sheriff Bailey d*ed.
I understood Bailey d*ed
of a heart att*ck.
That's seems to be the rumor
around town.
But if he did die
of a heart att*ck.
It was because he heard a b*llet
comin' at him.
Are you implying you have some
new evidence on this matter?
I have.
This b*llet.
Doc Curtis just dug this
out of Bailey's back.
Well, I guess that could be
considered as new evidence.
Couldn't it, Phil?
I don't know.
Any idea who put it there?
Well, I've been reading
about something new.
It seems every g*n leaves
its own mark on a b*llet.
By puttin' two b*ll*ts
under a magnifying glass,
you can tell if they both
came out of the same barrel.
So doc compared this b*llet
he took out of Bailey
with the ones I dug out
of the wall over there.
I did?
Oh, yeah, I sure did.
- We found one that matched.
- Yep.
You can't hide no crazy thing
like that on us!
It's funny you said that, Curly,
because the one that matched
came out of your g*n.
What?
Destry, I wanna tell you some--
Hold on, Phil. Hold on.
I doubt very much
if these old slugs
would ever be admissible
as evidence, deputy.
Let's leave that
up to the court, Mr. Mayor.
Oh, certainly, certainly.
Of course, you understand that
both Mr. Decker and myself
were misled as to the nature
of Mr. Bailey's departure.
We'll let the court
decide that too.
Come on, Curly.
You're gonna let him get away
with this?
Go on, Curly. It's our solemn
duty to uphold the law.
If you're not guilty, nothing's
going to happen to you.
- You sure?
- Certainly, go on.
I don't like it.
Did you ever hear that
about b*ll*ts before?
Can't say that I ever have.
Well, I guess I have
to catch up on my readin'.
Larson: Open the gate!
Come on, open up that gate.
It will cost you
four bits a head.
Larson: I know. I know.
I'm willing to pay.
Now come on. Open it up.
Alright, open it up.
Larson: Start countin' 'em...
after you wake up!
Alright, boys.
Bring 'em through!
I'll show Decker
and that tinhorn deputy
nobody's gonna tell me
what to do.
I don't care what the law says.
Nobody's gonna make me
pay a toll
to drive my cattle anywhere!
Nobody's making you pay.
But you'll probably get
kind of tired of that cell
in five or six years.
Now you take Curly here.
He's tired of his already,
ain't you, Curly?
- I ain't talkin'.
- Well, that's too bad.
'Cause in a couple of weeks,
you won't be able to.
What do you mean by that?
Well, it's kind of hard to talk
with a rope around your neck.
They're gonna hang you,
you know.
I want a drink.
Sure.
Get him some water, Rags.
- Water?
- I'll give him water.
- I'll drown that dirty--
- Whoa! Whoa!
- He's our guest.
- Guest!
I'd make him talk.
I'd sure hate to see you hang
for something you didn't do.
- You don't wanna hang, do you?
- You think I'm crazy?
Then why don't you
tell us the truth?
- Decker can't help you now.
- Why don't you leave me alone?
I didn't do it.
I told-- told you that!
All you have to do
is tell us who did.
The way I look at it,
Bailey came up
and asked for the note
Skinner signed.
Is that about it?
Loyalty's a great thing, Curly.
But it ought to work both ways.
Does it seem right
that you stretch a rope
for something
that was Decker's idea?
Suppose I do tell you.
What happens to me?
It might change a lot of things.
Well, I...
Afternoon, gentlemen.
Good afternoon.
As the mayor of Restful,
I'd like to convey
the people's thanks
for uncovering the m*rder
of our esteemed late sheriff.
In view of your prompt
and vigorous action,
I consider it only right
that the accused,
one Curly Adams,
be brought to trial
with the same dispatch.
In the absence
of any other judicial authority,
therefore, I have decided
to put on my legal robes
and try the case myself.
Oh, well, there's no use
puttin' yourself
to all that trouble, Mr. Mayor.
Maybe now I should say
Your Honor.
You see, we've already sent
for a territorial judge.
That so?
When's he due to arrive?
In a couple of days.
Him and Tom worked together
at Silver Creek.
Hm, it's too bad
he has to make that long trip
for nothing.
The case is on the docket
for tomorrow morning.
Deliver the prisoner
at 10 o'clock, Decker's Saloon.
The only place in town
big enough to hold the crowd.
I suppose
there's gonna be a jury?
Oh, yeah. I'm glad
you brought that up.
In order to expedite matters,
I have already impaneled
12 good men and true.
Hold on, mayor.
It's no dice.
I've seen
that kind of justice before.
Nobody's turning Curly loose
on the say-so
of a bunch of barflies and
two-for-a-nickel gunslingers.
We're holding him
for a real trial
in front of a real
honest-to-goodness
federal judge.
You heard what he said,
Mr. Sellers.
You're defying local authority,
gents.
Curly's friends are liable
to resent it.
You tell Curly's friends
he's not leaving this cell
till Judge Nolan gets here.
Tell your friends too.
I'll do that, son.
I'll do that.
Looks like a lot
of things have changed already.
Don't it?
- Not for you, it ain't.
- Oh, Rags!
Alright, so I done it.
I'm sorry, Curly.
It just goes to prove
that sometimes
a man just shouldn't laugh.
- Alright, out, Larson.
- What do you mean out?
You've got some cattle
to see after, haven't you?
- Yeah, sure.
- Then go take care of them.
I put you in there to show you
you can't go around
defying the law.
I'm gonna let you out
for a little while
to show you the law
can be fair too.
- I ain't payin'.
- I'll expect you back by dark.
By that time, make up your mind
whether you're gonna pay
or stay.
Who says I'm comin' back?
Well, I'm taking
your word for it.
- I'll leave the door open.
- I haven't given you any word.
Sure, you have.
I read something once that said
a man's pride in a trust
was better
than a written contract.
Now hurry up.
Well, I've met a lot of
characters in my time, Destry,
but you are it!
Well, you, you got him wet.
Now you better figure how
you're gonna get him dried out.
I'll wring him out.
Here's Tom now and I'm gonna
tell him what you said.
Oh, no, you're not!
Shh!
What's goin' on here?
- Ow!
- Something wrong?
You know something, Mr. Destry?
The older I get, the more
I think women are crazy!
You got a lot of company, Eli.
We were walking along there
talkin' about you
and all of a sudden,
she grabs me
and pulls me behind this tree.
I ask you now, ain't that crazy?
I don't know.
Depends on what you were saying.
- I'll tell ya--
- Well, we... Eli.
We were just talking about you
putting Curly Adams in jail
and I, I mentioned what a good
thing it would be for the town.
- That's not all she said.
- Eli!
What she really said was
that she'd like to kiss you.
Is that so?
I didn't mean it
exactly that way.
It was just sort of
a figure of speech.
Ain't you gonna do anything
about it?
Doesn't seem to be quite
the place for it.
I'll keep it in mind.
Come on, Eli!
Eli: Crazy if you ask me.
Doc: Tom! Tom!
- Hey, Destry.
- What's wrong?
Nothing. Got a message for you.
Brandy.
She wants to see you, her house,
right away, important.
Oh, doc,
you wanna watch that runnin'.
Gettin' a little old for it.
Yeah? I wish you'd tell that
to Bessie Mae.
- What is it?
- Come in. Come in.
Doc said you wanted to see me,
something important.
Oh, it wasn't that important.
I just wanted to buy you
a drink, that's all.
- Oh, fine.
- Sit down.
- Here's looking at you.
- Lookin' at you too.
Well...
Well, what?
Men.
Don't you notice
anything different?
Oh, sure. You took
some of that w*r paint off.
- You look real nice.
- I feel sort of undressed.
Brandy, what did you really
wanna see me about?
I'm leaving town...
and I wanted to see you
before I left.
I don't know whether
that's important or not.
Well, sure, it is.
- What happened?
- Nothing.
I'm just sick of this town,
I'm sick of the people here,
and I'm sick
of what I've been doing.
So I'm going back
to New Orleans.
A lot of folks are gonna
miss you around here.
Except for a few wives, maybe.
How about you?
Yeah, me too.
Ever been to New Orleans?
No, I haven't.
You'd like it there.
It's wonderful
this time of the year.
What's the matter with you?
Nothing.
I don't suppose
you'd wanna come with me.
I'm afraid that's a little bit
off my range.
Besides, I've still got
a job to do here.
I wanna wish you lots of luck.
Come with me, Tom.
You won't be sorry.
I'm sorry right now.
Oh, uh, speaking of luck,
thanks for the loan
of the rabbit's foot.
It's been a lot of help.
You keep it.
It's nothing.
Don't pay any attention to it.
No, Tom, no!
Don't go out there.
They'll k*ll you. Tom, please.
Rags.
They got me in the back, Tom.
I didn't even have time to draw.
Don't talk,
we'll take care of it.
Don't hurt so much.
Just makes me mad.
Sure, I know.
Everything goin' along so fine,
and I had to go
and let you down.
You didn't let me down.
It was the other way around.
No. No, they...
Doc, get busy
and dig this slug out of me
so Tom and I can find out
who done it.
And after I've had
a little rest--
Alright, Rags.
I'll get at it right away.
Rags: Makes me so danged mad!
Getting sh*t in the back.
They were scared of you, Rags.
They were afraid to meet you
face-to-face.
You really think so?
I'm kind of tired right now,
but we'll still show 'em.
- Won't we, Tom?
- Sure.
That is the way
I always dreamed about it.
You and me, side by side,
just like it used to be
when I rode with your dad.
We'll show 'em, Tom.
You and me togeth...
Easy, Rags, take it easy.
On second thought, I guess
maybe you'll have to do
the showin'.
I'm awful tired.
Well, I'm back, Destry.
I'm sorry, I'm a little late.
- What's the matter with him?
- Somebody k*lled Rags Barnaby.
And sprung Curly Adams.
Destry's comin' after you.
Is that something
I should be worried about?
This time you should.
He's packin' a g*n.
Oh.
Maybe we'd better arrange for
a little welcoming committee.
Get Curly. Professor,
you get up in the balcony.
Dummy, you take the front door.
Where do you think you're going?
It's-- I needed some fresh air.
It's sort of smoky in here.
I want you to sing
a little song.
It's not time for it yet.
Now, look, I want everything
to look nice and normal
when your friend gets in here.
Now get up there
and sing that song.
Alright, girls,
come on, on your feet!
Let's get up there and liven
this place up a little bit.
Come on, do your numbers!
Come on!
♪ And you must try
as you go prancing by ♪
♪ To swing your skirt
a bit high high higher ♪
♪ You can get your man
without any tussle ♪
♪ He will give in you'll be
livin' following this plan ♪
♪ You will get your man
if you can can-can ♪
♪ You can't fool a man
by wearing a bustle ♪
♪ Take it off or shake it off
with wiggles of the can-can ♪
♪ You can't fool a man
by faking a muscle ♪
♪ You'll begin to be a winner
if you can can-can ♪
♪ You'll get the eye
as you go dancing by ♪
♪ So swing it low
and swing it high ♪
♪ And you will try ♪
Quit that!
Alright, come on,
start up that music.
Stop her!
Brandy: Doc! Doc!
- Yes.
Where's Destry?
Last time I saw him,
he was headin' for Decker's.
And I'm gonna help him
even though
it is against
my better judgement.
- But he's not there.
- I know.
- He ain't?
- No.
Well, uh, maybe he's over
at the jail
roundin' up some more help,
which is a very good idea.
I'll, uh, go see.
Tom: Keep your hands low and
take a normal walk to the door.
Alright, inside, hurry up.
Close that door easy.
All I want is Decker.
Where is he?
I said where's Decker?
Brandy: Let me through!
Let me through!
Brandy, get out of here.
Look out!
Brandy.
I... guess I won't make that
trip to New Orleans...
after all.
Sure, you will, Brandy.
We'll both make it.
I'll go with you.
Just...
kiss me goodbye, Tom.
Man 6: Mornin', Tom.
- Morning.
Man 6: Fine day.
- Yes, it is.
Yes, it is.
- Morning, Tom.
- Morning, ma'am.
Don't forget about Sunday.
- I'll be there.
- We'll be there.
♪ Come on boys get your g*ns
get 'em loaded ♪
♪ Let's greet the bandits
with a bang bang bang ♪
♪ Here they come
and by g*n we're reloaded ♪
♪ We'll meet the bandits
with a bang bang bang ♪
♪ From California
to Rio Grande ♪
♪ A cowboy keeps
his amm*nit*on handy ♪♪
Girls. That reminds me.
Martha says to tell you
how glad she was
to be back on the ranch again.
Huh? Oh, is that so?
Say, tell me something, Tom.
Ain't you never gonna get around
to kissin' her?
It's kind of hard to say, Eli.
I've been pretty busy
with my job here.
Seems to me
you got the job all done.
Pa says that Restful is the most
restful town he ever seen.
Hardly hear a g*n go off
anymore.
- Tom! In there.
- What's the trouble?
I don't know.
I didn't stop to ask.
In there! In there!
Oh, hiya, sheriff.
What's the big idea?
Well, I've been in town all day
and I heard that the only way
one could get any attention
around here was to do
a little promiscuous sh**t'.
Excuse me.
You know
you're breaking the law.
- Are you gonna arrest me?
- Well, I--
There's no two ways
about the law.
- Isn't that right?
- That's right.
Well, I'll go along peacefully.
I'm out of amm*nit*on, anyway.
This reminds me of a book
I read once.
It was all about
a fellow and a girl.
They had the doggonedest time
gettin' together.
Oh, it wasn't her fault.
It wasn't exactly
his fault either.
Just a, a whole lot of mix-up
kept them apart.
- One day, they finally--
- You know something?
You read too many books.
Yeah.
There comes a time
when a fellow just
has to stop readin' so much.
Destry (1954)
Moderator: Maskath3