MUSIC: La Route est Dur
by Georgia Brown
Where did you get it?
I simply got it.
But where?
Is it Daniel?
From Jack? Of course not.
I told you so
yesterday on the phone.
Who gave it to you?
Nobody gave it me!
You're not going to
tell me you stole it?
Yes. Stole it?
Yes!
Tell me where you really...
I stole it from Lola.
I'll tell you about it.
Stole it?
Oh...
Good God.
Oh, you must want to
get rid of the child.
I did it to prevent you
from going to that old hag.
What's the matter?
SHE CHUCKLES
What are you laughing at?
At myself.
I've been so stupid.
So stupid.
Haven't I?
I know that you've
been talking to Daniel.
Oh, yes, I've seen him.
You sent him, didn't you?
You plotted it all together.
Keep your voice down.
You'll wake Mother.
I didn't send him.
He came of his own accord.
Yeah, after consulting with you.
The whole thing stinks.
Very well, it stinks.
I'm waiting for an explanation.
Explain what?!
You've seen Daniel.
He said what he had to say,
and in reply,
you went and stole
, francs from Lola.
Yes, that's right. What about you?
You and your secret intrigue.
Week after week,
you've been receiving
Daniel here in this room.
What of it?
Do you think I've
been sleeping with him?
No, of course I don't.
I...
Look at ourselves.
What's gone wrong between us?
What's happened?
Don't you know?
You want us to get married, no?
Did Daniel tell you that?
No.
This is...what I assume.
That's what you assume?
What you "assume"
after seven years?
That's the way you think of me?
You know nothing about me.
Look, Marcelle, you...
..you want to have
this child, don't you?
That's no concern of yours.
What I want or don't want is
no longer any concern of yours.
Please... No.
Why can't we talk it over,
calmly, reasonably?
We'll see a way out.
Everything will be settled.
No! Why not?
You no longer respect me.
You don't love me!
Oh, you're right.
I no longer love you.
And...
But that doesn't mean I'm not
committed to you! No, don't!
I've said it all, I know it all now.
Now let me explain. No!
I wouldn't let you down.
I'll...I'll stand by you.
I'll...
..I'll marry you, if
that's what... Get out.
I'll... Go on, get out,
before I start screaming.
Marcelle... If you don't go,
I'll call Mother.
Take your money with you.
There's no necessity for that...
You'll take it!
I can't believe it.
I can't believe it.
I really thought that...
RUEFUL CHUCKLES
SHE WEEPS
HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER
Whisky. Plenty of it.
IN HEAD: I couldn't do it.
I should have known.
I'm a coward.
Well, I can't go home again.
That's certain.
The razor will still be there,
open, gleaming,
waiting for me.
But I cannot accept the invitation.
Fool! Play actor.
OUT LOUD: Comedian.
You look tired, monsieur.
It's nothing. I've got a bit
of a temperature, I think.
It'll go.
Perrier water
with it, sir, as usual.
Thank you.
Enough? Yeah.
Thank you, sir.
IN HEAD: He's as q*eer
as they make him.
Why haven't you
ever slept with a nice,
clean limbed boy like that?
Why do you always want the uncouth?
Because you're only happy
with dirt, filth, humiliation.
Oh, God. Oh, God.
I should be dead!
Well, you had your opportunity.
You should have castrated yourself.
Why didn't you?!
Oh, forget it. Forget it.
Get drunk. Come on.
Pick it up. Get drunk.
HE COUGHS
OUT LOUD: More drink!
You would like the same again,
monsieur?
Well, monsieur?
Um, no. No?
It's a warning. I mustn't
drink any more, not tonight.
Bring me another small Perrier
with a slice of lemon.
Certainly, monsieur.
IN HEAD: I shall just have to
accept myself for what I am.
A comedian playing with life.
No, that's ridiculous.
It means that I'm shallow,
and I'm not.
There is a real me.
If somebody would
care to dig it out.
If only someone cared to
know all about me, hated me,
despised me as I despise myself.
Have I no friend to
hold me in contempt?
It's no good.
It's all so secret inside me.
Nobody knows.
Nobody will ever know.
Hey.
What about him
from whom no secrets are hid?
Hmm?
There's your answer.
Go in for the God stunt.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
What's come over you?
Religion for you?
Oh, Daniel. It wouldn't suit.
OUT LOUD: Thank you.
IN HEAD: : .
Mathieu will have
seen Marcelle by now.
He'll have given it
to her, I'm sure,
and I shall have wrecked his life.
Yes. But what if he hasn't?
What if he's left Marcelle deserted
with no-one to father the child?
My God, I've got it.
I'm inspired!
It's the ultimate punishment for me.
A living death...
OUT LOUD: Yes.
It'd be a living death.
You called, sir?
Yeah.
That's for you.
Thank you, sir.
IN HEAD: What an excellent
scheme for torturing myself!
Why haven't I thought of it before?
Can there be anything
more masochistic?
Oh, the sheer irony of it!
HE LAUGHS MANIACALLY
OUT LOUD: Oh, it's wonderful!
Oh, good evening, madame!
What a day.
Did you have a good audience?
Not bad. Bit noisy.
They did shout for an encore.
And did you give them one?
What, me?
Anyone call?
Yes, Monsieur Boris.
When? Oh, immediately
after you left, about : .
Did he leave a message?
No. He took the key and
went straight up to your room.
Oh, I do hope madame is all right.
Is he there now? No.
He left after about ten minutes.
He said nothing to you?
No, madame, he would not
exchange words with me.
Thank you.
IN HEAD: Well, he
did come to see me.
He still loves me.
If he still loved me,
he'd have stayed.
He'd be here now...
..in his pyjamas.
He's such a strange, shy boy.
Always undresses in the bathroom
and comes to bed in his pyjamas.
Oh...
The men I've had...
..most of them wanted to
prance about stark naked,
so it might excite me.
Poor fools.
But not my little Boris,
not my little angel.
You know, I really think
if it wasn't for me,
Boris wouldn't have
liked women very much.
So...
..I have helped him in that way.
Many an older, experienced
woman could've helped him.
There are too many queers about.
Most of them look
so sad and haunted.
I've been good for Boris,
I'm certain of it.
When we're together, we're so young.
Age doesn't matter, he said that.
Why isn't he here?
Why isn't he?
He knows how miserable I've been,
how desperate.
He doesn't care.
No.
No.
No.
He's with his sister.
That's what's happened. He told me
her exam results were out today
and she was going to fail.
He's with her, being kind.
He can be kind.
He is kind.
He's a gentle, lovely boy.
After all, he did call to see me,
to tell me he needs me.
The boy loves you, Lola.
Read his letters.
Read his letters again.
I know them by heart.
I'll read them again.
I'll lie in bed
and I'll read them again.
They're not there.
Not there.
But, er...
..wait a minute. Wait.
Oh, no.
He's taken them!
That's why he came. Not to see me,
not to see me at all.
He wanted his...
..the money.
One, two...
..six.
, francs.
That's the price he's
charging for his love.
Is it , francs?
Well, nobody does this to me.
Nobody.
I'll find him.
I'll find him, and then I'll...
Yes, Lola.
You'll do it.
FAINT WEEPING
IN HEAD: Mathieu's deserted her.
That's quite plain.
He's deserted her, and she's
been howling her head off.
Oh, God, how she'll stink.
Women always stink
when they get emotional.
Well, Daniel, it's a smell
you'll have to learn to live with.
Here we go, then.
I shall have to act the part
of her patron saint, as usual.
Or shall we say, "the good fairy".
I rather like that.
I am the good fairy.
FAINT WEEPING
LOUDER WEEPING
OUT LOUD: Marcelle,
my dear, what is it?
Oh!
SHE WAILS
Oh, poor dear child.
He's left me. So I realise.
SHE SOBS
He said he didn't love me any more!
Now, now.
Hardly credible.
You are carrying his child.
He is a man without moral
conscience, my dear.
He's a rotten swine!
He has shown his true colours,
it is good that you found him out.
Do you still love him?
I haven't loved him for years.
You wouldn't understand that.
You're so good and so pure.
People can fall out of love and
still go on sleeping together.
Don't blame me too much, please.
But what are you
going to do about...?
He left me , francs
so I can pay to get rid of it.
Where did he get it?
He stole it. Stole?
From Lola.
He must have been frantic.
Frantic that he
might have to marry me.
Marcelle...
..would you marry me instead?
What?
SHE SNIFFLES
I'm asking whether you
would consider marrying me.
You? Yes.
Oh. Oh, Daniel...
Oh, don't take pity
upon me, please.
I'm not.
I should be taking pity upon myself.
I want you to listen
very carefully, Marcelle.
I have something to say...
..about myself.
I think you know that I am
a deeply fastidious person
and basically a shy person.
You have given me a nickname,
you call me your archangel.
In one sense,
that is absurdly flattering
to the point of blasphemy.
But in another, you're right.
Things to do with
the flesh appal me.
I cannot accept the carnal
nature of man and woman readily...
..easily.
I'm sure you follow me.
Dear Daniel, that's what
I've always loved in you.
Consequently, I have
always denied myself
the comfort and the tenderness
that family life can provide.
But I should not like my wife
to feel that I was withholding
from her life something
of...importance.
You are so good, so good.
In time, I should hope and pray
that I should be able to fulfil
all my marital obligations,
but at first it must
be clearly understood.
It is not as important
as you think it is, really.
I could live without it very well.
Then consider it carefully,
Marcelle.
I am asking you, quite solemnly,
to become my wife.
IN HEAD: How mad can you get?
Well, you've certainly done it now.
The answer is yes.
OUT LOUD: Dearest.
IN HEAD: I'm a swine,
a rotten swine.
You should have said, "I love you.
I can't live without you.
"Marry me, please."
Well, I couldn't, and that's that.
God, I'm exhausted.
Six hours' sleep in three days.
No, less than that.
I must get to bed, throw
off my clothes and fall into bed.
I doubt if I'll sleep.
I'll be awake all night
staring into the darkness.
I didn't go.
Oh, I see.
I was horrid.
IN HEAD: Did I do it because of her?
Is that why?
Oh, God. I wish it could be true.
It would give my act some aim,
some justification.
But I can't deceive myself.
What I've done is for nothing.
Turned thief, deserted
a pregnant woman for nothing,
for no end...
..to no purpose.
I said some very hurtful things.
I'm sorry.
I've just broken with Marcelle.
You have? Yeah.
I'll never see her again.
But what about...
You left her without money?
Oh, no, no. Um...
I managed to fix that. How?
I stole it from Lola.
I knew she'd be working.
I went to her room,
and I stole it, , francs.
Good for you.
You've done something
rather outrageous at last.
I admire you.
SHE GIGGLES
Why look so desolate?
Remorse.
Ah, yes.
If I was in your shoes,
I'm sure I should feel remorse, too.
But it would soon pass.
HE YAWNS
Sorry...
Do you know,
I'm feeling rather proud of you.
Oh?
I promised you something, didn't I?
You said you'd like me
to wear my hair back for you.
Well, then.
There.
Ivich...
I don't know what I want from you.
I was wrong.
You don't like my
touching you in any case.
Well, as it happens,
I was going to let...
You actually happened
to do something tonight,
something out of your
usual boring middle age rut.
So I thought I'd give
you a little reward.
But I love you, Ivich.
I was going to be nice to you.
All the same...
Well, all the same what?
I'd have done it without loving you.
Because I don't.
I don't love you at all.
DOORBELL RINGS
KNOCKING
IN HEAD: Marcelle.
Marcelle's come running after me.
RINGING CONTINUES
Are you going to open the door?
Um...
Yes, I suppose I will.
LOUDER KNOCKING
Would you like to
hide in the kitchen?
No. I shall stay here.
KNOCKING AND RINGING
Where's Boris?
I heard him. Where is he?
Where's your brother?
Well, he isn't here.
I heard him talking.
Well, search the place, there's
only a kitchen and the bathroom.
Search them. Where is he, then?
He left me about : . I don't
know what he's been up to since.
Well, I shall tell you, at :
this evening, he came up to my room,
broke open my trunk,
and stole , francs.
Ivich, I think it's best you go.
I'd like to talk to Lola.
Can I see you later this evening?
No, I have my packing to do.
You're leaving Paris? Tomorrow
morning.[font color="♪f
No. Try and get some rest.
You had a rough day.
Shall I see you off to the station?
No, I'd rather not. All ri
Wait! Where's Boris?
I don't know. Lola...
Ow! Don't touch me!
How dare you?!
Lola, let her go. There's
a lot I want to tell you.
Let her go. Where's Boris?
I don't know.
I do know about the stolen money.
It's something I must explain.
All right, young lady,
I shan't detain you any longer.
When you see Boris, you tell
him I've been to the police,
and I have taken
a charge against him.
The charge will be withdrawn. You
tell him you won't get away
Lola, you mustn't...
He doesn't know me!
He doesn't know me.
Um... Bye, Ivich.
I wasn't born yesterday!
GLASS SHATTERS
Oh!
Off you go!
ANGRY MUMBLING
Ah, yes.
LOLA SHOUTS
If you think you can get
away with my , francs,
don't even thank me for it!
When I find him, I will...
You shut up, will you?!
Hmm.
Ah, Lola.
Have you really brought a charge?
Yes.
Out of the way!
Um, Because it was I
who stole the money.
I did it. You...
..you liar.
He was seen by
the concierge, she saw him!
Oh, I don't care what the
concierge has told you, I did it.
Yes, well, she saw him take
the key and slip up to my room.
She let him go
because I told her to.
He knows what time I go to work.
It was : .
He was watching and
waiting for me to go!
It was me!
Don't you try and fool me.
I'm never going to be
fooled again. Never!
Obviously, Boris called
on you earlier this evening.
He called because he loves you.
Loves me?
He doesn't love me.
He's nothing but a lousy, bloody
little gigolo trying to take me in.
All right, all right. Let's
forget about Boris for a minute.
You finished work at midnight,
then you went home.
That's when you
discovered the theft.
I wanted to read his letters.
Poor stupid woman that I am.
I wanted to hold them in
my hand because he touched them.
Well, I went to your
room at : .
That's when I stole the money.
Have you finished? Yes, I did it.
Work it out. It was me.
You keep your bloody
lies for the magistrate.
Look, you... Lola. No.
You won't be reasonable, will you?
No!
Because you're all
in it together. Oh, no.
You've patched up all these lies
to take the old woman in.
I can hear you all laughing at me.
Now get out of my way.
Look, you give me that!
Give it to me!
Give that back to me!
What were you going to do with this?
That's my business. Yeah?
You say you stole my money. Yes.
All right, then, give it back.
What?
You stole it. Show it to me.
You can't, can you?
I-I no longer have it.
What kind of an idiot
do you take me for?
At : this evening,
you stole my money,
and now, two hours later,
you no longer have it.
Well, I congratulate you.
Right, well, I gave it to someone.
Who?
Well, it wasn't Boris,
that I swear. Who, then?
Lola, I can't tell you!
All right, all right!
I'll tell you.
It was Marcelle.
Marcelle Dufey.
LOLA SCREAMS
The name is Daniel Sereno.
And here, madame,
are the , francs.
Would you kindly verify
that they are indeed yours?
Er, did Marcelle send you?
She did.
How is she? All is well.
What proof is there
that these are mine?
Oh, didn't you take the number?
Oh, you're hysterical.
Smell them.
Yes, go on, smell them.
The trunk had a certain
smell of, yes, perfume.
There.
They're mine.
You're in on it, too.
But where's Boris?
Boris? How'd you make
him give them back to me?
I've never even heard of Boris.
It was a lady who entrusted them
to me, someone who Mathieu knew.
Right, I stole them from you, and
gave them to her, didn't I, Daniel?
You did.
What are , francs to you?
A great deal, apparently.
Now you'll have to
withdraw the charge, Lola,
or if you prefer,
bring it against me.
I didn't make any charge. I'm going.
Mathieu, do you really
believe he'll come back to me?
Oh, yes.
Honestly? Well...
Some people are...
..incapable of bringing
happiness to others,
all the same, they get involved
and they can't give them up.
Goodbye. Bye, Lola.
So that is the famous Lola Montero.
Yes, she's, um,
she's slightly round the bend.
HE LAUGHS
Mathieu, my dear fellow,
you look pretty rotten.
That's strange.
I was going to say exactly
the same thing about you.
You come straight from Marcelle?
I have.
And she gave you the money?
She did. Why?
She didn't need it. Need it?
I'm going to marry her.
We shall keep the child.
Are you in love with her?
Why not?
Marcelle? Marcelle.
I don't believe you. Don't you? No.
Well, then you'll just
have to watch events.
What's your game? My game?
Ah, my game, my dear Mathieu,
would really astonish you.
Yes. You've been her lover.
She's had both of us.
Oh, now, wouldn't that
just suit your book?
Sorry, you're wrong.
Foiled again, Mathieu.
Uh, w-would you mind
explaining yourself,
if it's not asking too much of you?
Well, the plain fact
of the matter is, I'm a...
..I happen to be a...
Look, you haven't got
anything to drink, have you?
A whisky, for example. No, I...
Oh, I've got some rum...
Ah, excellent. ..in the kitchen.
I'll find some glasses.
Ah, you brought it from the
Martinique store rooms, I see.
Yes. They supply you, do they?
I call in there sometime.
Here's to your good health.
To the beloved.
Are you drunk?
Well, I've had one or two.
Oh, don't worry. My proposal to
Marcelle was made compos mentis.
Hmm.
I thought I should have had more
trouble in persuading her,
but, uh, she fairly jumped at it.
In fact, she was
absolutely delighted.
What do you think of that?
Deeply sorry for her.
It could be a case of
any port in a storm.
HE CACKLES
All right. She wants
to have the child.
She's a woman wanting to give birth.
I see that now.
Well, it'll be born.
I wanted to get rid of it.
I'm... No, I'm glad it will be born.
I shall never see
the child, of course.
Yes.
Yes. Well, that's it.
You've come to her rescue.
You acted better than I have.
Much better.
But why? Hmm? Why have you done it?
I'm no philanthropist,
my dear Mathieu,
I hope you aren't thinking that.
Your rum is filthy all the same.
What are your plans now?
Plans? Regarding women.
Sorry, I don't follow you.
Oh, I thought you were, um... What?
..turning towards youth,
shall we say?
Oh, Ivich?
Yes, that's the one.
No.
Why not? You're free.
HE SIGHS
Daniel... Mm?
Does Marcelle hate me?
Put yourself in her place.
I have done.
What has she said about me?
Nothing much.
I see.
Are you really going to marry her?
I thought we'd established
that little point.
Any regrets? Doesn't add up.
Oh, we're unsuited, do you think?
Yeah. Charming of you.
I thought at least you'd have
given me your congratulations
and best wishes
for future happiness.
Or perhaps you might have said,
"You lucky dog, you,
"you don't deserve her."
Will you stop that?
Now, don't worry.
Everything will be fine.
If it's a boy,
we shall call it Mathieu.
That'll do!
DANIEL LAUGHS
Oh, don't get angry.
I know, I know. You came round here
just to see...
..how I'd take all this.
Yes. That was one reason, I agree.
You always seemed so solid,
so unshakeable.
It rather annoyed me.
Well, you've seen me now. I'm...
..I'm not so unshakeable after all.
No, you're not.
Well, I'd better be toddling.
Bye, Mathieu.
Mathieu, I am
a practising h*m*.
Hmm?
A q*eer!
A pervert!
Aren't you disgusted?
Disgusted?
Why should I be?
Look, you're not obliged to go
all broad minded about it, you know?
You say nothing.
You're right.
Yours is the reaction of
any normal, healthy minded man.
The unmentionable
must never be discussed.
You can be what you like.
It's no concern of mine.
True. You've got enough to do
dealing with your own conscience.
Then why come and tell me all this?
To see the effect it would
produce on someone like you.
Besides, I want someone to know.
Oh, yeah. So you
choose a derelict like me.
You want all the advantages of the
confessional, only no penance.
You're a shrewd bastard, aren't you?
Well...
Things being what they are,
I can't let you marry Marcelle.
Oh, can't you, indeed?!
And how will you stop me?
ON PHONE: Hello?
Erm... Hello?
Hello, Marcelle?
It's... It's Mathieu.
Look, Marcelle, I was
acting stupidly just now.
I don't know what came over me.
It must be the tension
of the last few days.
Please forgive me.
Now, look, Marcelle,
everything's all right.
I want to...
Hello?
Hello? Marcelle, you there?
Marcelle, I want to marry you.
Did you hear me, Marcelle?
Oh, please! You must let me explain!
Marry me, will you?!
Well, that's that.
Don't be too upset.
h*m* have always made
excellent husbands.
That is well-known.
You go in for women, too, do you?
No.
But I hope in time to fulfil
all my marital obligations.
Ah.
You find that strange?
h*m* should never
be lumped together.
There is a whole range
of idiosyncrasies.
May I tell you mine?
If you wish.
I feel a need to be punished
for what I am.
It is a real need.
I hate myself.
I am ashamed of myself.
For a long time now,
I have visited male prostitutes.
I choose young ones who are lazy,
dirty, uncouth -
everything I abhor.
They humiliate me
as I wish to be humiliated.
Is this fair to Marcelle?
Mathieu, I hope to be faithful
to her.
To me, there is no creature
dirtier than a woman.
Their very biology,
I find loathsome.
She will be my punishment.
If I can manage
to t*rture myself enough,
I shall to all appearances
become heterosexual.
You won't tell her?
What Marcelle wants above all
is the baby.
The rest, she will never know.
And in any case, it would
hardly interest her.
A good arrangement, don't you think?
She will have what she thinks
is a gentle marriage -
taking marriage all in all,
perhaps a perfect one.
You must be feeling pretty rotten
about all this.
Of course, I think you'll agree
it's for the best.
Can we finish the bottle?
Yeah, let's.
Daniel. Hmm? Look, I know it's...
..it's no business of mine,
but may I ask you something?
Why are you so ashamed
of being a h*m*?
Ah! I was waiting for that.
I'm ashamed of being h*m*
because I am a h*m*.
Oh... Oh, I know what you'll say -
"Being a h*m* is a way of life
like any other."
But you'd be missing the point.
If you want to be
an authentic q*eer,
you've got to be ashamed of it.
Why don't you simply accept
the fact?
Well, you haven't done right
by women either.
You accept that? You're a swine!
Are you going to settle for that?
No. Perhaps you're right.
Two days, you know,
two sordid days,
I've been dodging about
because I want my freedom.
What is freedom?
It springs into being the moment
you give it up for something.
My freedom is an emptiness.
It's worthless, stupid.
Without commitment...
..freedom is a sham.
You've acted, Daniel.
I'm still lost.
I should be fighting in Spain.
That's what I should be doing.
Well, why don't you?
I don't care enough.
I'd only be going through
the motions.
I want to fight for the cause...
..but it would be acting.
A big act, that's all.
Bottle's empty. Shall we have
a drink around the corner? No, n
No, thanks. I-I don't want to
get drunk tonight.
I don't know what I'd do
if I got drunk.
Nothing sensational, I'm quite sure.
THEY LAUGH
Well, I do need a drink.
I'll see you soon?
Well, in the circumstances, I think
that might be rather difficult.
You despise me?
Not at the moment.
You've got problems, but they'll
sort themselves out, I'm sure of it.
Bye, Mathieu. Bye.
IN HEAD: I'm alone.
They've all given me up
as a bad job.
I'm alone.
A lot of fuss over nothing.
Yes.
That's my reward for opting out
of everything -
nothing.
I've had a lot of offers
in the past few days.
Brunet wanted me
in the Communist Party.
My brother wanted me to resign
myself to middle-class existence.
Marcelle wanted marriage.
And Ivich...
Ivich would have prompted in me
a search for lost youth.
All of them are ways by which a man
might savour, minute by minute,
his failure in life.
No commitment for me,
yet I'm a failure all the same.
That sums me up.
And in saying that, I've accepted
something at long last.
Yes. I've accepted self.
I've attained the age of reason.
♪ Les mains se tendent de tous cotes
♪ Les chaines sont lourdes,
puis-je les oter?
♪ Un seul pas contre la tyrannie
♪ Une raison d'etre
dans toute ma vie
♪ La route est dure mais
je suis forte
♪ Mon ame est sure,
la peur est morte
♪ Je sais quoi faire avec la vie
♪ Quand toute la terre
sera affranchie. ♪