13x10 - Down to Earth

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

MUSIC: 'A World Without Love' by Peter & Gordon

♪ Please lock me away

♪ And don't allow the day

♪ Here inside where I hide

♪ With my loneliness

♪ I don't care what they say I won't stay

♪ In a world without love

♪ Birds sing out of tune

♪ And rain clouds hide the moon

♪ I'm OK, here I'll stay

♪ With my loneliness

♪ I don't care what they say I won't stay

♪ In a world without love ♪

Is Sergeant Nokes a bit of a stickler, then?

Likes shiny whistles. That's right, isn't it, Phil?

What's up with him?

PHONE RINGS

Ashfordly Police Station, how can I help?

Oh, right.

Mr...

Barraclough.

Mm-hm.

I'll be over right away.

There's a break-in over at Derringford Cross.

I should check it out.

Don't keep Sergeant Nokes waiting too long.

BERNARD: Wouldn't it be simpler just to say the taxi's not available?

Look, I can't let people down, Bernard.

They depend on me. Well, us.

- Well, yeah, but... - Look, I've made David out a list.

He can't go wrong.

Anyway, I've got to go, otherwise I'm going to be late.

First day of jury service. That would never do, would it? Here.

- Where do I go first? - Take this watch.

Look, it's simple, David.

You take the truck to the building site. Sid will show you what to do.

You work there all morning.

At ., you come back here, you swap the truck for the taxi,

collect Mrs Higginbottom and take her to her chiropody appointment.

Then you swap back to the truck,

go back to the building site, work through till ..

And at ., you come back here,

you swap the truck for the taxi, and you pick up the Carsley children

and take them to their music lesson.

Then back here to pick up the vicar to take him to the station for ..

Then you go back to the building site and you work through till ..

Got it?

When do I have my lunch?

Whenever you want.

Gina's staying with family, isn't she?

Very sensible, that. A bit of rest before the big day.

What? DOOR OPENS

Good morning, gentlemen.

- Just the two of you? - PC Crane's been called out.

Has he, indeed? Something urgent?

Er, a break-in.

He's a very keen young man, is PC Crane.

Really?

Let me know as soon as he gets back.

Why don't you go out, get a breath of fresh air?

I'll square it with Sergeant Nokes.

It's here.

Look.

Let me get this straight, Mr Barraclough.

You came down this morning to find this, erm... figure on the table.

Yep.

And you're quite sure this isn't yours?

I've never seen it before in my life.

Ashfordly Antiques?

Why would I go to an antique shop?

I'm old enough to be in one myself. LAUGHS

You said this was a break-in.

Well, I never lock the door, but that's not the point, is it?

- And nothing's been taken? - No.

So, why do you think

someone would come round in the middle of the night

and leave a statue on your table?

Delta Alpha - to control. Over.

PC VENTRESS ON RADIO: Control receiving. Over.

Alf, I've finished at Mr Barraclough's. Over.

Do you have a list of stolen items? Over.

PC CRANE ON RADIO: 'There isn't any.'

Daft thing is, he's gained a statue.

I'm going to check at the antiques shop where it comes from. Over.

If it's just some confused old man,

forgotten what he's bought, tell him not to waste too much time on it.

The Sergeant Nokes would like you back here as soon as possible. Over.

PC CRANE ON RADIO: 'Understood. Over.'

Over and out.

PC Crane is very keen.

You're late.

No time for excuses. Just don't let it happen again.

Now, this is what I want clearing. It's got to be done within hours

cos I've got diggers booked for t'footings. Got it?

I'll be back later to see how you're getting on.

But...

- Mr Andrew Johnson. - Here.

- Mrs Camilla Powell. - Here.

- Mr Christopher Wright. - Here.

- Mrs Amelia Jones. - Here.

- Mrs Sally Fountain. - Here.

- Mr Ian Hogg. - Here.

Name?

Er, Scripps. Vernon Scripps.

Good turn-out, eh?

I suppose we won't all be needed.

Well, it's just that my business doesn't run itself.

I mean, if I'm not there, anything could happen. Anything at all.

So, I suppose you'll understand that if you don't need everybody,

I'd appreciate being let off jury duty.

Sit down, Mr Scripps.

Oh.

Right. Yes.

Mr Nigel Crawford.

SHOP BELL RINGS

Good morning, Constable. Can I help?

I believe you recently sold this.

Ah, yes.

Lovely, isn't she?

As I told the gentleman that bought her,

only yesterday that was,

she'll grace any mantelpiece.

And who did buy it? Sorry, her?

Hm?

Well, er, I don't know his name. He paid cash.

er, an old gentleman, said he lived Derringford Cross way,

er... I believe. Is something wrong with the lady?

The gentleman seemed so taken with her yesterday.

No. I think there's been some kind of mistake.

Thanks for your time.

Not at all.

- She'll see you now, Steve. - Thank you.

Oh, I'm sure he won't be long, Mrs Maguire.

Yes, here we are. William Barraclough.

I've hardly ever seen him. Why?

I was called to his place this morning.

He thought someone had been in his house and left a statue.

And had they?

It's my guess he'd just forgotten he'd bought it.

Well, that happens when we get old.

He bought it yesterday.

Point taken.

I'll put him on my non-urgent visit list, see what I think then.

Thanks. I appreciate that.

MUSIC: 'Time Drags By' by Cliff Richard & The Shadows

♪ Sittin' in the sun like an old tomcat

♪ That don't know just where he's at ♪

About time. Sergeant Nokes...

I'm sure he'll understand.

Who will?

Erm... no-one, Sergeant.

You'd better come through to my office, PC Crane.

I've been hearing all about you.

PHONE RINGS Ashfordly Police Station.

Ah, Mr Barraclough.

You've got a police call box in your garden?

Yeah, well, I'm sure we'd need permission, if we put it there.

I tell you what, I'll send PC Crane round

to see what it's all about.

Right. Bye.

Why would we put a police box in his garden?

Mr Barraclough's a bit confused, Sergeant.

I've already asked his doctor to go and see him,

so if we just leave him for a while.

No, no. You'd better put him straight once and for all.

Otherwise you'll be toing and froing all day.

Right, Sergeant.

Thanks for warning me the sergeant was a woman.

It's not that I'm trying to shirk my duty, it's just that...

Well, I'm a busy man, I can't be spared.

Particularly not to sit around all day doing nothing.

Do you understand?

Do you see what I'm saying?

Oh....

It WERE here. I saw it with my own two eyes.

It can't just have disappeared.

Why don't we go inside, Mr Barraclough?

Have some tea and a chat.

I didn't make it up.

It were definitely there.

Do you have any relatives living nearby?

My brother used to, but he died a couple of months ago.

I'm sorry to hear that. It must have shaken you a bit.

We weren't close.

I'm not mad, you know.

I never said you were.

Aye, that's what you're thinking, isn't it?

Forgetting things, seeing things.

What next?

Is there no-one who can come and stay with you? Any other relatives?

I've got a cousin, lives over Scarborough way,

but I haven't seen him in years.

I don't even know if he's still alive.

- Friends? - Always kept myself to myself.

Mrs Harris down the lane, she does my shopping.

Likes to think she's helping, but... I'm quite capable, really.

Well, have a word with her,

see if she'll pop in from time to time, see if you're OK.

I can't stand her fussing.

If there's no-one else.

I'll speak to Mrs Harris.

And tell her the old man's finally lost it?

I haven't, you know.

It was there. I saw it, plain as day.

♪ Got nowhere to go

♪ Nobody wants to know

♪ And time drags by real slow

♪ Sitting on a log watch the world go by

♪ Fat old frog thinking my, oh, my

♪ Funny thing, the human race

♪ Rush here, rush there get no place

♪ Ain't got nowhere to go (ain't got nowhere to go)

♪ Nobody wants to know ♪

Look, you ordered it. You've got to have it.

But I didn't order it.

What am I supposed to do with a load of ready-mixed cement?

What he does with it isn't my problem.

Look.

No, there must be some kind of mistake.

One full load, ready-mixed.

Mr Barraclough, Willow Cottage, Derringford Cross.

Cash on delivery.

No mistake.

That's Mr Barraclough, and this is Willow Cottage.

I'm delivering and I want my cash.

But I don't have any cash.

It's not as if I can take it back, is it?

Look at it! It'll set, that.

That's a whole load wasted.

Oh, dear!

You best go inside, Mr Barraclough. I'll deal with this.

My governor won't let you get away with this!

If you don't pay up, he'll sue you! You mark my words!

The delay due to legal arguments is over,

but as it's close to the recess, you may all leave for lunch.

Report back here at pm sharp. Is that understood?

Oh, charming, that is.

Keep us here all morning, and then don't provide us with any lunch.

I mean...

Oh...

Do you have a solicitor, someone who could give you advice?

Do you think I need one?

It might be for the best.

Well, er... there's that man who handled my brother's will.

He seemed... What was his name?

Monksby.

Aye, that's it.

From Ashfordly.

- I'll ring him. - Good.

I wish I knew what were going on.

I understand how you must feel.

There have been other things in recent weeks, you know.

Like what?

The telephone ringing, nobody there.

Banging in the night. Doors and windows. It wakes me up.

Then, of course, I can't get back to sleep,

worrying that it might all start happening again.

If you speak to Mr Monksby,

I'll try and get the cement firm to drop the matter.

- Oh. - OK.

Oh, and, er, it might be best if you locked the doors at night.

Just to be on the safe side.

Oh, yes, yes, I will, I will.

You're not the only one who thinks I'm mad, you know.

At times, recently, I'm beginning to think it myself.

♪ Sittin' in the sun like an old tomcat

♪ That don't know just where he's at

♪ And I must admit to you

♪ Right now, I feel that way too

- ♪ Ain't got nowhere - Oh...

♪ Ain't got nowhere to go

♪ Nobody wants to know

♪ And time drags by real slow

♪ Ain't got nowhere to go ain't got nowhere to go

- David? - ♪ Nobody wants to know

You're supposed be picking up Mrs Higginbottom!

♪ And time drags by real slow ♪

It's not your fault if he gets sued by the cement firm.

- Do you understand? - Yes, Sergeant.

Getting involved is a waste of your time and police resources.

Yes, Sergeant.

Look... I know you want to help.

That's part of being a Community Liaison Officer.

And I admire your enthusiasm, Constable Crane.

But this really isn't a police matter.

I understand, Sergeant.

Will that be all?

Yes, Constable Crane, that will be all.

I think it's perfectly normal for a girl to want to be with her mum

in the lead-up to her wedding.

It's the biggest day of her life.

She says she wants time away from here, from me,

to work things out.

It's not that she doesn't want you.

It's just, she doesn't see why

she should have to give up being the boss of this place.

It's not me who wants to take it away from her.

Exactly.

It's not you she's fighting.

It's outdated police regulations.

What it really boils down to is, what does Gina love the most?

Me...

or this pub?

And I'm not sure I want to find out the answer.

MUSIC: 'Fings Ain't Wot They Used T'be' by Max Bygraves

♪ They changed our local Palais into a bowling alley

♪ And Things ain't what they used to be

♪ There's Teds with drainpipe trousers

♪ And Debs in coffee houses

♪ And things ain't what they used to be

♪ There used to be trams... ♪

'He's not safe to be on his own.'

He's just a bit forgetful, that's all.

How can you forget ordering cement when you don't need any?

That is a bit weird. I mean, what was he planning on doing with it?

No idea. And he's seeing things.

All right, all right. I'll go and visit.

I'll see what I think,

but I don't know what exactly you expect me to do.

Should he be in a home?

Not if he doesn't want to be, no.

Not unless he's a danger to himself and to others, anyway.

And making a nuisance of himself simply doesn't count.

But maybe you could persuade him that a home would be for the best.

If I think it is, I'll tell him.

Let me go and have a word with him first, OK?

Thanks.

Poor Mr Barraclough.

It must be very frightening for him, knowing his mind's going.

I do apologise, Mrs Higginbottom, for David not turning up on time.

You know, if you want a job doing well,

you end up having to do it yourself.

Here we are.

You see, that's what they don't understand

about this jury service thing.

I mean, some people just can't be spared.

MUSIC: 'Shakin' All Over' by Johnny Kidd & The Pirates

Yes, sir?

Is it possible to speak to PC Crane?

He's out at the moment. Can I help?

It's about a Mr Barraclough.

I understand PC Crane is the officer dealing with his case.

And you are?

My name's Monksby, Mr Barraclough's solicitor.

Come on through, Mr Monksby. I'm sure I can help you.

Thank you.

♪ Quivers down the backbone

♪ I got the shakes down the kneebone

♪ Yeah, the tremors in the thighbone

- ♪ Shakin' all over ♪ - Mrs Higginbottom!

Mrs Higginbottom?

I was hoping PC Crane would be able to give me some facts,

particularly about the cement order,

as that may lead to legal action being brought against my client.

I'll see to it that you get the details.

But in the meantime, what is important is how we proceed?

I'm not quite sure what you mean.

If Mr Barraclough cannot look after himself, he should be put in a home.

Indeed.

It's just a pity that his doctor

doesn't seem to be able to deal with the situation.

Well, it can't be easy.

Well, if he ends up doing something dangerous to himself or others,

then she might not have a choice.

Sadly, I suspect you're right, Sergeant.

Meanwhile, I shall try and persuade him to think about it.

I understand some of these places can be really quite nice.

A bit of company would probably do him the world of good.

I'll have a word with Mr Barraclough.

Thank you for your help, Sergeant.

♪ Quivers down the backbone

♪ I got the shakes down the kneebone

♪ Yeah, the tremors in the thighbone

♪ Shakin' all over... ♪

- It's back. - What's back?

The taxi.

Where's it been?

Well, I don't know.

What did you use to collect Mrs Higginbottom in?

Well, I didn't.

She's gone.

And I don't know why. She just disappeared.

'Mr Pettigrew.'

Mrs Armitage and Mrs Lloyd.

What about the rest of us? Can we go?

You, Mr Scripps, will wait, in case you are needed.

But you've got your jury.

One or more of the jurors chosen so far may be challenged.

In which circumstance,

we'd need to call upon your...

services.

HUMS CHEERFULLY

What are you looking so pleased about?

William Barraclough.

Don't tell me. He's seeing little green men now.

No. I think he's telling the truth.

What? About all of it?

Even about the police box?

Well, maybe not that bit. But about the cement.

I called the company and spoke to the girl who took the order.

Sergeant Nokes said she didn't want you wasting your time on this.

The girl said the man who placed the order was quite chatty.

He had to be to persuade her to change the usual rules

about cash on delivery.

She won't be doing that again in a hurry.

He said how much he liked their new ad in the Ashfordly Gazette,

which is where he got the number. - And?

Well, he has a neighbour to do his shopping for him.

Mr Barraclough's never taken the Ashfordly Gazette. Neither has she.

So how could he have seen that ad?

Let's step inside, Mr Barraclough.

"Carsley children, music lesson."

Do they know how it started?

Paraffin lamp.

It can't have. I haven't used that in ages.

That's why it's in t'shed.

Maybe you knocked it over, dropped a match.

There wasn't any paraffin in it.

Perhaps you just don't remember filling it, Mr Barraclough.

Why would I? In broad daylight?

I don't know, but it's easy to become confused about these things.

I'm not confused,

except about why someone's persecuting me like this.

MUSIC: 'Applejack' by Jet Harris & Tony Meehan

Come on. We're late.

SIGHS

I'm worried, Steve.

This fire, he's... he's becoming a danger to himself

and he seems paranoid.

- How do you mean? - Saying he's being persecuted.

I may have to seek a psychiatric opinion.

- What if he is? - What? Being persecuted?

You heard him.

There wasn't even paraffin in the lamp.

Do confused patients really buy paraffin,

fill up lamps they never use,

set fires and know nothing about it ten minutes later?

When you put it that way...

I see your point.

But who else would do it?

I don't know,

but I'm gonna find out before Mr Barraclough ends up getting hurt.

I know what she were thinking.

I should go into a home.

I'm not mad.

I didn't start that fire.

And I am not leaving.

I believe you.

You do?

I know you didn't order that cement,

so maybe you didn't do the other things, either.

Well, tell them! Tell them I'm not mad.

I've tried.

What we've got to do is try and find out why this is happening.

Well, don't look at me.

I haven't a clue.

MUSIC: 'Dear Mr Fantasy' by Traffic

Stop!

BRAKES SCREECH

I've left my music at school.

We'll have to go back.

Oh!

SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION

PHONE RINGS

Scripps' garage.

Oh, hello, Vicar. David must have got a bit delayed.

And your train's at what time?

Well, I'd better come and get you.

No, no, it's no bother.

It's just that David's got the taxi.

I'll be with you soon.

Dr Merrick agrees,

this isn't the usual pattern of confusion in the elderly.

How can you have a "usual pattern of confusion"?

It's one of those contradictory-in-terms thingy.

I forget what they're called.

That's normal forgetfulness, you see.

Forgetting a word, a name, what day of the week it is.

Forgetting to turn the gas off.

Right. But to go out and buy paraffin for a lamp you never use,

fill it up, set fire to your shed with it

and forget all about it five minutes later...

'Ere, but why would somebody want to make him seem mad?

To get Mr Barraclough out of his house.

Which means either it or him must be worth something.

Well, how are you going to find out about that?

Well, that's where you two come in.

Because I'm going to need a bit of help. OK?

Now, I thought I'd take the cousin, check him out.

Phil, if you could contact the Planning Department

before they close. Make sure they've no plans

which would make Mr Barraclough's house worth money.

Right.

But we're going to have to do this without Sergeant Nokes finding out.

All right?

Erm...

Mr... Johnson.

It's here!

Must be magic. It wasn't there earlier.

- Honest. - That's silly.

Music doesn't just appear and disappear, does it?

SEAGULLS CRY

Delta Alpha - to Control. Over.

VENTRESS: 'Control receiving. Over.'

Alf, the cousin's a wash-out.

Any news from your end? Over.

He's got virtually nothing in the bank

and the Planning Department have got no plans

to build anything on his land.

He's not worth tuppence ha'penny. Over.

'I'm on my way over to see Mr Barraclough now.'

I've organised for the owner of Ashfordly Antiques

to do a valuation the contents. Over.

In case he's got a Ming vase as a doorstop, or something(?)

'Over.'

You never know. Stranger things have happened. Over and out.

And they've all happened to Mr Barraclough.

Something I should know about?

Or were you just talking to yourself?

- Just talking to myself, sarge. - Is it catching, then,

whatever Mr Barraclough has(?)

Or simply a question of age?

I'm not that old.

Pardon me.

Afternoon, Mr Barraclough.

Have we met?

Ashfordly Antiques.

Statuette of the lady.

Oh, you've got some cheek!

I'll give you that.

I'll show you around, shall I?

Right.

MUSIC: 'I've Waited So Long' by Anthony Newley

This is ridiculous!

♪ (Ahh) I've waited so long

♪ So long

Complete waste of a day!

I mean, they've got the jury!

♪ I've waited so long

♪ A lifetime, it seems

I'll be off, then.

♪ For someone to step

♪ Right out of my dreams

♪ All that an angel could be

♪ And meant

♪ For only me

♪ (So long) so long

♪ (Ahh...) ♪

There's certainly nothing valuable in there.

I'm sorry.

- Thank you for your time, Mr Jones. - Oh, not at all.

Glad I could be of help, under the circumstances.

- You'll hear from us again. - Yes.

Delta Alpha - to Control. Over.

VENTRESS: 'Control receiving. Over.'

CAR HORN HONKS

HORN BEEPS

Mr Scripps, there's people waiting.

IMPATIENT BEEPING

- Excuse me. - I'm sorry, I'm late for the Vicar.

PERSISTENT HONKING

There has to be something somewhere

that somebody wants to get their hands on!

Well, we've checked his house, his bank account and his possessions.

There's nothing of any value.

Well, maybe he did it himself.

You know, some sort of, er, deliberate wind-up.

APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS

Why the long faces?

Unhappy at no work to be getting on with?

I'm sure I could find you all some.

I... just need to catch up on the lost-property book, Sarge.

I hear congratulations are in order, PC Bellamy.

When's the happy day?

Erm... we don't know... I don't know yet, erm, Sarge.

There's been, erm...

Oh.

If there's anything you want to talk about...

anything at all...

my door is always open.

Thank you, Sarge.

MUSIC: 'Jolity Farm' by Bonzo Dog Doo Dah band

No-one's where they should be!

And things keep appearing and disappearing,

like police boxes and taxis and music!

And now the Vicar's gone.

The Vicar's fine. I took him down to the station.

It's all right.

It's no good, Mr Scripps. I can't do it.

I can't be in two places at once.

No-one expects you to.

Now, how's the happy workforce?

What?

PHONE RINGS

Aidensfield Police.

Alf, what's up?

I found it.

The thingy whoever it is is looking for.

You know you requested a copy of Leonard Barraclough's will?

Well, it's arrived.

He might have lived the life of a pauper, but he wasn't.

He had over £, in his account.

Mr Barraclough said his brother had left nothing.

Well, why didn't he tell us in the first place?

It could have saved us a lot of time and effort.

Yeah. OK, Alf. Well, thanks.

I'll get over there and ask him.

You'll have to try and delay morning surgery.

That was Mr Barraclough on the phone. He's in a terrible state.

Apparently he's just received confirmation

of a place that's been reserved for him in an old people's home.

But I thought he didn't want to go to a home.

Exactly.

Sid is not happy!

He said David didn't work enough yesterday.

Goodness only knows why!

Well, he was rushing round here, there and everywhere.

All he had to do was stick to the schedule!

It's just as well I wasn't needed on my jury,

otherwise I wouldn't have any customers left!

He got flustered.

At one point, he couldn't even find the taxi.

Well, of course he couldn't! I had it.

Someone had to pick up Mrs Higginbottom

and take her to the chiropodist,

otherwise she'd have missed her appointment.

And then where would she be, I'd like to know?

Presumably without a leg to stand on(!)

Exac...

KNOCKING AT DOOR

- Did he call you, as well? - No. What's up?

I don't want to go into a home.

Then you don't have to.

Then why have you booked me a room?

Let's just try and calm down, OK?

Well, why should I? You've already brought the police into it.

I don't know anything about a home, Mr Barraclough.

I came here to ask you why you didn't tell me you were a rich man.

What are you talking about?

Leonard left you £,.

But when I asked you about it, you said he had nothing to leave.

CACKLES

CONTINUES TO CACKLE

£,(!)

But Mr Monksby told me...

Mr Monksby.

Why would he lie?

Unless he wanted to keep the money for himself.

You can't just keep clients' money.

but with Mr Barraclough out of the way,

who would know? - It can't be that easy.

There must be checks. Something in writing.

Unless you were in a home.

Unfit to look after your own affairs.

'Ey up!

Where are you going?

To get some proof.

Don't mess me about, Mr Jones.

This is a serious criminal investigation.

Who bought that statuette?

He said it was a joke.

A practical joke on a friend.

Of course, when you came round that first time

and then got me out to the house, I was worried,

but Mr Monksby insisted that there's nothing illegal going on,

and he's a solicitor and he should know.

I'm sorry about the late challenge, Mr Johnson.

You are now, of course, free to go home.

Mr Scripps?

Mr Vernon... Scripps?

I'm bringing Monksby in for questioning,

but I'll need a warrant to search his finances. Over.

That'll mean telling Sergeant Nokes. Over.

I'm sure you can manage that.

And tell her I'll explain everything when I get back. Over.

Over and out.

Don't even think about it.

I've got urgent business to attend to.

PHONE RINGS

All right, all right. I'll be there in a minute.

PHONE CONTINUES TO RING

Hello?

Vernon? He's not here at the moment.

No, he's fine. No, there's no problem. He's out working.

Look, I'll have to go. Can I take a mess...

LINE GOES DEAD

Goodbye to you, too(!)

I don't give orders expecting them to be ignored.

However, it would seem that in this case

there may have been some justification.

I will arrange the necessary warrant

and that will be the end of this matter. Is that clear?

Yes, Sergeant.

Better get PC Bellamy to pick it up. Where is he, by the way?

Er... urgent business, I believe,

of a personal nature.

It'll take his mind off his problems if we keep him busy.

Yes, Sergeant.

♪ I just gotta get a message to you

♪ Hold on

♪ Hold on

♪ One more hour and my life will be through

♪ Hold on

♪ Hold on

- ♪ I told him I'm in no hurry... - Hello? Is Gina there?

Yeah. It's Phil... again.

But I've got to talk to her.

Right.

Well, tell her I've called, will you?

Thanks.

♪ I've just gotta get a message to you ♪

POLICE RADIO: 'Control to Panda One.'

'Control to Panda One.'

'Phil, are you there? Over.'

Yes, Alf. I'm here. Over.

RADIO STATIC

Sorry to keep you.

You wanted to see me about Mr Barraclough, I believe, Constable?

What's he been up to now?

I'm more interested in what YOU'VE been up to, Mr Monksby.

Been thinking of building a patio, have you?

KNOCK AT DOOR Yes.

What did the bank manager have to say?

well, luckily, he owed me a favour,

so in the strictest of confidence...

It seems he's been concerned about Mr Monksby's finances

for some time now. He's well over his overdraft limit

on both his personal and his business accounts.

However, his client account looks pretty healthy.

Thanks to Leonard Barraclough's money.

It seems Mrs Monksby's a keen horsewoman

and the bank recently refused to honour a cheque to a local vet,

since which time Mr Monksby's been paying cash.

And where do we think the cash is coming from?

well, it's hard to say,

though he did make a withdrawal from his client account a week ago.

£?

Good work, Bellamy.

Mr Monksby's in the interview room with Steve now.

Says he doesn't want a solicitor.

- Reckons he'll represent himself. - Right.

Let's see what he has to say for himself.

Sarge.

I did tell Mr Barraclough about his brother's money.

I was holding it whilst I looked at investment possibilities for him.

He knows that.

But given the way he's been lately, he must've forgotten.

What about the advertisement?

Planning a bit of building work, were you?

As a matter of fact, yes. The stable block needs extending.

- What were you gonna use for money? - A bank loan.

From what I hear, your bank manager isn't likely to say yes.

I know what you're insinuating

and I would never use client money for my own purposes.

- It is illegal. - You're right, Mr Monksby, it is.

It's theft and false accounting.

PHONE RINGS

Ashfordly Police Station.

One of your jurors has gone missing?

Er, what was his name, please?

Vernon Scripps?

Oh.

It'll be my pleasure.

All you've got is one senile old man's word

that I didn't tell him he'd come into some money.

Do you know a Mr Jones?

Ashfordly Antiques?

Not personally.

I know of the shop, certainly.

Mr Jones has made a statement

saying you paid him to say Mr Barraclough bought a statuette,

when, in fact, it was YOU who bought it.

Nonsense.

A statuette that later turned up in Mr Barraclough's house

as part of the so-called evidence of his confused state of mind.

It was a joke, that's all.

It's not in the best of taste, but hardly a crime.

You were trying to get him so confused

that he'd think he was mad and go into a home.

Then there'd be no-one to question you about Leonard's money.

And you could siphon it off when you needed it.

Like this £ you drew out last week, for example.

Look, there's been a mistake.

You're right, Mr Monksby, there has been a mistake, and it's yours.

Now, if one of your clients was in your position,

wouldn't you advise them to make a clean breast of it?

Whilst I know plenty of men who'd find it hard to choose

between a pub and a lover, there aren't many women who would.

Yeah, but this is Gina we're talking about

and the Aidensfield Arms.

Not just any woman and not just any pub, either.

But there's the baby and she's going to be thinking of that.

We were just talking about Mr Barraclough.

Yeah, at least you caught Monksby before he spent much of the money.

Mr Barraclough must be so pleased.

He might actually build himself a patio now.

well, he'll have to use a different cement firm.

I'd best be going. Are you coming, Jenny?

- I'm sorry to hear... - I don't want to talk about it.

In fact, I don't want to think about it, really.

How about I get you a pint, then?

Yeah.

Vernon, what are you doing here? I thought you were on jury duty?

Wasn't needed, in the end, which is just as well,

because poor old David and Bernard couldn't manage without me.

That poor lad almost had a nervous breakdown trying to cope.

Even started seeing things.

There's been a bit of an epidemic round here at the moment.

No, no, I promise you.

Police phone boxes coming and going all over the place, he says.

I blame the television.

It puts all sorts of things in people's heads.

- Actually... - Vernon Scripps?

I've been looking for you all over the place.

I might have known that you'd be here.

It's hard keeping up with a whirlwind of activity, Alf.

What can I do for you?

Are you sick or dying or unexpectedly bereaved, Mr Scripps?

No.

Then I'm arresting you for contempt of court.

You're supposed to be on jury duty.

The case has been adjourned because of you.

Judge Prendergast is not a happy man.