13x11 - Mountains and Molehills

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

MAN: Yoo-hoo! Wahoo!

Whoo!

MUSIC: 'Rollin' and Tumblin' by Cream

Yeah. I've got them.

WHEELS SKIDDING

- Shouldn't be long now. - I've skived off work.

Mrs Kellett's going to k*ll me.

I'm sure if you told her you had a doctor's appointment...

I've only just started at the hall.

- First job is it? - Yeah.

Dead scary it is. I keep getting lost.

You'll soon get the hang of it.

I always wanted to work in a shop.

Hey, do you think His Lordship's got any handsome relatives

that might take a fancy to me? Marry me and make me a rich lady?

You never know.

- Yeah! - Hey!

Eh, eh! HE LAUGHS

HE LAUGHS Yeah! Whoo!

Go on, piggy. Want to play tag?

ENGINE REVS

Hey! Fancy a drink, piggy?

WHEELS SKIDDING

Gotcha.

What the hell's he playing at?

CAR SKIDDING

They're really starting to annoy me.

Right, well, let's get after them, then.

Your results have come through and you are definitely pregnant.

Oh, no.

My dad's going to k*ll me.

I'm sure it won't come to that.

No, you don't know what he's like.

What am I going to do? He's going to kick me out for sure.

SHE SOBS

Perhaps I should have a word with both your parents.

No, no. Promise me, please, you won't tell him.

Tracy, you're only .

If he finds out, he's gonna give me such a hiding.

What am I going to do?

SHE SOBS

CAR APPROACHING

What the...

CAR SKIDDING

OVERLAPPING CHATTER, LAUGHTER

Watch it, watch it.

Oh. Oi!

Watch where you're going, lads.

BRAKES SCREECH

Too slow, dimwit.

Flipping kids!

BEEPS HORN

I'll still get you! MAKES CHICKEN NOISES

BRAKES SKID

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no, no.

I do want to help you, Tracy.

Can you tell me his name?

Lenny.

Lenny.

And how long have you been going out together?

It's not like that. I've sort of known him all my life.

He's a friend?

He's my second cousin.

We were just mucking about.

My dad will k*ll us. KNOCK AT DOOR

Sorry, there's been an accident.

Anyone know his name?

He's Paul Dibley.

He just... He came from nowhere. I just didn't see him.

- You've probably k*lled him. - It was you he was running after.

Excuse me.

The police car hit him. His name's Paul.

Paul.

Can you hear me?

- What's going on? - That copper got Paul.

Paul! He's my brother.

Is he dead?

♪ I am a mole and I live in a hole ♪

DOG BARKS

So, Dibley, are we making headway?

Well, as Your Lordship can see, the blighters are everywhere.

I'm fighting a losing battle.

Yes. Well, I've arranged some expert assistance for you.

CAR APPROACHING

Good afternoon, my, erm... Your Lordship.

Mrs Kellett said you wanted to talk to me.

Afternoon, David. Now, as I recall,

you used to help Claude Greengrass get rid of moles.

Oh, yeah. Well, Mr Greengrass,

I mean, he was the best mole-catcher in the county.

Well, I'm commandeering your services for a couple of days.

As you can see, Dibley here needs some help.

- Oh, but I... - I'm not sure what help he'd be.

Well, Mr Vernon, you know, he's away.

He's on business in Scunthorpe, I don't...

Don't worry about Scripps. I'll square it with him.

I want you two working together. Look at the state of this lawn.

I'm relying on you to sort it out, David.

Yeah, but...

That's all I need. Stuck with a ruddy halfwit.

He's got a broken leg and ciliary cuts and bruises.

- It's not as bad as we thought. - Well, that's something.

- How's Phil? - Aye, he's holding up.

I hope you've got that young copper of yours under lock and key, Merton.

- Mr Dibley... - Oh, it's Mr Dibley now, is it?

You're not usually that polite.

Don. No-one can regret this accident more than I do.

Accident? You make it sound like it's his fault.

You lot, you make me sick. You're trying to wriggle out of it.

I know you're angry.

You'll not get away with this. I want him prosecuted.

There'll be an investigation to establish the facts.

Facts? I'll tell you the facts.

And I'll be telling them to the press too.

Some copper driving like a maniac nearly k*lled my son. Look at him.

Innocent little lad. He could be damaged for life.

It's a simple fracture. At his age, it'll heal quite quickly.

Oh, that's supposed to comfort his poor mother, is it?

As she watches him suffer?

I know you done your best for him, Doctor, I'm not having a go at you.

All I am saying is the guilty should pay.

And I'll make ruddy sure they do.

I saw the whole thing.

The lad just ran out from behind the bus. Bellamy didn't stand a chance.

Thanks, Oscar.

As you know, it will be up to Traffic to investigate.

Surely it's only a formality, Sarge?

I certainly hope so. Unfortunately, Don Dibley wants Bellamy prosecuted.

Don Dibley.

We've hauled him out of enough bar-room brawls.

Which is why I want everything done by the book.

Bellamy, you'll be confined to the station.

Absolutely no driving. You can catch up with paperwork.

STEVE: That's hardly fair, Sarge.

If we hadn't have caught those joyriders,

someone could have got k*lled.

Yes, I know. The investigation won't take long.

Meanwhile, let's concentrate on calming things down, shall we?

Hmm.

He'll need round-the-clock nursing.

Who knows if he'll ever walk again?

Poor lad. I'll speak to His Lordship.

Oh, would you, Mrs K? You know I hate letting you down.

I just heard from the lads outside about our Paul.

- Is he gonna be OK? - It's touch-and-go, love.

Any chance of a brew, then?

- We need to talk. - What?

Sit yourself down, David.

SLURPS

Pregnant? Who's the dad?

You, Lenny.

Me?! But we only...

My dad's going to k*ll us.

- You never told him? - No, of course not.

- He must never know. - Too right.

What am I going to do?

You'll have to... get rid of it.

Get rid of it? How?

You know, you find a clinic.

Where?

I don't know. I'll...

I'll get the cash to pay for it. Don't you worry about that.

Well, I thought you might be pleased.

Pleased?

Your old man will beat the living daylights out of me if he finds out,

and you expect me to be pleased?

Why do girls always have to cry?

CHICKENS CLUCKING

Restoring confidence in the police.

That's what community liaison is all about, Crane.

Sometimes it means turning the other cheek.

I'll remind you of that, Sarge, when Don Dibley takes a poke at you.

Oh, brought the cheque have you, Merton?

Compensation's not my department, Don.

Then you can get lost.

Dad, you forgot your snap.

You come back when you've got a trial date, Merton.

I want to see that copper of yours in the dock.

Don, a number of witnesses say your lad ran out into the road.

So maybe... VEHICLE ENGINE BANGS

Sorry about my dad. He's a bit upset.

It's only natural.

And he hates coppers.

But I don't. I've seen you on your bike. I love bikes.

- What's your name? - Tracy.

I'm PC Steve Crane.

I know. You came to our school last year to test us on our bikes.

Oh, yeah. The cycling proficiency test.

I think I remember you now.

Do you?

They teach us to be observant in the police.

Rule one, never forget a pretty face.

Thing is Tracy, we are really sorry about what happened to your brother,

and we want your family to know that.

Maybe you could pass that on to your mum.

Aye, I will. He's daft, our Paul.

It's probably all his fault. He nearly got run over before.

Did he?

You tell your mum what I said.

CAR ENGINE STARTS

Ey, Tommy, I think I'm in love.

♪ Little children

♪ You better not tell on me

♪ I'm tellin' you ♪

Hiya.

- How are you feeling? - Bored.

It's a year out of date.

- You're allowed toffees, then? - Yeah!

Oh, these are great. I always nick this sort if I get the chance.

- You do much nicking, do you? - Sweets and stuff.

Everyone does, don't they? PHIL LAUGHS

So, er...

Does it hurt much, then?

- A bit. - Gets you off school, though, eh?

PAUL LAUGHS

There's my mum and dad.

Oh, right. Well, er...

Found yourself a mate?

- He gave me these. - Wait a minute.

- I was just off. - You're the ruddy copper.

I just wanted to make sure the lad was all right.

You're lucky I don't knock your teeth down your throat.

Just remember where you are, Don.

You lot had better do the right thing,

or I'll be coming for you myself.

Haven't you finished yet?

I'm sorry, Mrs Kellett, I can never remember what goes where.

You have to pay attention, Tracy.

You're away with the fairies half the time.

I'll finish this. Constable Crane's outside. He wants a word with you.

With me?

Something about the accident, I expect.

- Good morning, Constable. - That's a bit formal.

I know your dad doesn't like me, but I was hoping we could be mates.

Up to you.

I wanted to ask you about something you said yesterday.

Are you going to take me for a ride?

- Not when I'm on duty. - Later on, then?

You said your brother nearly got run over once before.

Yeah. But why are we talking about him?

I want to know all about you.

When and where did this happen, Tracy?

I dunno. He's always in trouble.

SHE SIGHS

So, have you got a girlfriend, then?

You're a cheeky monkey, do you know that?

Come on. Tell me more about your brother.

Course, that time, we caught about a dozen.

Mr Greengrass, he charged... He charged about a shilling each.

I wish you'd shut up about your ruddy moles.

I've got far more serious things to worry about.

Like what?

Well, if you must know, I've got a girl in trouble.

- What? With the police? - No, you daft barm cake!

- In trouble, you know? - Oh, right.

What I need is money, and quick. Her old man's going to skin me alive.

You haven't got any sure-fire money-making schemes, have you?

- Erm... - That is a daft question.

Hello, Tracy.

I called in to see Paul this morning.

He's surprisingly cheerful.

My mam's going spare. She'll have to have time off to nurse him.

How about you? Have you spoken to Lenny yet?

He wants me to get rid of it.

To have a termination? Is that what you want?

I never even thought of it until he said.

But he's got a point and my dad need never know.

Tracy, you can't have an abortion to stop your dad being angry with you.

It's a very serious matter.

I never said I wanted one. It's just Lenny.

What? Do you want me to speak to Lenny?

What good will that do? He's just scared of my dad. Everyone is.

Have you considered the one thing your father might find acceptable

is if you and Lenny settle down and bring up the baby together?

You mean marry Lenny?

- Well, it's a way out of this. - But I don't love him.

- Romance can be overrated. - I'm in love with someone else.

Who?

I can't say.

Tracy... One way or another, we need to sort something out here.

What about this other lad? Would you marry him?

Yeah. Like a shot.

And does he feel the same way about you?

I think he really likes me.

Does he have a name?

SIGHS

Steve Crane.

Not PC Crane?

Imagine my dad's face if I tell him I'm marrying a copper.

OMINOUS MUSIC

Evening. I'll get that.

STEVE: Any news?

Well, Traffic have finished taking statements and they'll let me know.

Well, it was an accident. Pure and simple.

- I wish Gina was here. - When's she getting back?

I don't know. She's staying on in Rhyl an extra week.

Reckons the sea air is doing her the world of good.

Yeah, well, I'm sure it is.

But then it's her auntie's birthday in Liverpool,

so who knows when I'll see her again? - I'll ask her to phone you.

No, no. No, don't do that, Oscar.

She's got enough on her plate. I don't want her worrying about me.

LAUGHTER

I hope you're not looking for trouble, Dibley.

You refusing to serve us, Blaketon?

No, I'm just saying I don't want any trouble in here.

You'll serve some maniac who drives around running kids over, but not me?

I'll buy you a drink. And your mates.

Oh, ho, ho. Oh, the boy gets toffees, I get a pint.

You must think we're really cheap.

No, I'm just trying to apologise, to make amends.

Oh, you'll make amends, copper, but it will cost you more than a pint,

and I'm very particular who I drink with. Three pints.

I'm just off.

Do you and Dennis spend much time with Steve Crane?

Not really. I wouldn't have thought he was your type.

Don't be silly. He isn't.

Being married to a policeman has drawbacks, believe me.

- Not regretting it already? - No, course not.

So, why are you interested in Steve?

His name came up.

I was just wondering about the sort of life he leads.

- Girlfriends, that sort of thing. - Oh.

Oh, never mind.

I could ask him for dinner if you like.

No. Forget it, OK?

MEN: Yes!

Look at the state of him.

His lad's in hospital and he's on the beer.

Where have you been?

I've had to turn away taxi bookings.

I was up at the hall. Doing a job for His Lordship.

You know, it's me and, er...

Me and Lenny. That's my new mate.

Oh, aye?

He's invited me here for a drink actually.

And let me guess... you're buying?

DARTS PLAYERS GROAN

Well, yeah.

What's she going to think, hey?

She'll think it was an accident like everyone else.

You know, I've had a thing about Gina since... Well, I can't remember.

It's always been a bit touch-and-go, mind. But now this.

I... I could lose my job.

Merton is not gonna let that happen.

Well, I can't get married without a job.

It's not going to come to that.

Oh...

He doesn't know yet. That's something at least.

- Doesn't know what? - That's Tracy's dad.

Oh, right.

I just had a call from Division.

I thought you'd like to know Traffic have completely exonerated you.

EXHALES Thanks, Alf.

- That is great news, mate. - Wow. I can't believe it.

Neither can I. They've let you off, haven't they?

Hey, Don. There's been a full inquiry.

Whitewash more like. You lot, you're just scum.

You make me sick, every last one of you.

And you, you're mine, copper.

FURNITURE CLATTERS, GLASS SMASHES

All right, Dibley, that's enough.

MUSIC: 'Talkin' Bout You' by The Animals

DON GRUNTS

Now you can see why I don't want to get on the wrong side of Don.

OSCAR: Get out of here now!

- Sleep well, did you? - You are joking, aren't you?

Right, Dibley, I'm giving you a choice.

I'm not insensitive to your feelings about what happened with your son.

It was a tragic accident, but it was an ACCIDENT.

- So you say. - Yes, I do say!

As do all the witnesses that saw it.

Now here's your choice.

You accept that now and I'll let you off with a caution.

DON SIGHS If you don't accept it,

then I'll charge you with malicious damage and breach of the peace

and you'll be up in front of the magistrate.

Look, erm...

I'm really sorry about what's happened.

But I just want all this to be over.

DENNIS: What's it to be?

SIGHS You win, Merton.

But then your lot always do, don't you?

Oh, just eat it, Bobby, don't throw it.

Tracy.

Tracy.

COUGHS, VOMITS

What the...

I felt poorly in the night.

I must have eaten something.

Oh, that's all I need.

Don't tell Dad.

Mum, please!

Out of it. Come on.

- They let you out, then? - Yeah. Obviously.

- She's pregnant. - Mum!

Whoever the father is, she better marry him.

One less mouth for me to feed.

So who is the father, then?

What if he won't marry me?

He will, once I've had a word with him.

Come on. Who is it?

His name's...

Steve. Steve Crane.

That young copper? DON CHOKES

- What are you doing? - Nothing.

Just... having a look round.

Oh. Did Mrs Kellett say you could?

Yeah. In fact, she asked me to check there were no moles in there.

LAUGHS You don't get moles in houses!

Truth is I were just skiving a bit.

You wouldn't grass on a mate, would you?

No, of course not.

Good man. So, how are you getting on with the moles?

- I've got this idea. - Great.

You start. I'll be right back.

years old, she is. Up the duff.

- You check with Dr Merrick. - Don't see...

- Tell him, Tracy. - Dad, please.

She don't want to say it. I will. Steve Crane.

- He's one of yours, in't he? - Yes.

It were him that got her pregnant. she is.

- Is this true? - I don't know if he forced her.

She won't say. SOBS

As you can see, she's too upset.

Don, this is a very serious accusation.

Oh, yeah. It is. I know I've got a temper,

gets me trouble often enough, but if my daughter's been r*ped by a copper,

there's no way I'm gonna let you cover it up.

I'll get a proper lawyer, go to the papers, whatever it takes.

Tracy, come here! DOOR CLOSES

MUSIC: 'The Hole in the Ground' by Bernard Cribbins

DAVID GRUNTS

What's all this? You're digging up half the lawn.

Well, this is how I'm going to trap them.

You join together all their burrows and they can't escape.

- Is this what Greengrass did? - No, he used to just poison them.

But I can't do that to 'em, can I? I mean, the poor little mites.

They're vermin. CAR APPROACHING

Oh, no. You just let me do the talking, eh?

- Well, I'm the one... - Just shut it!

What on earth are you doing?

I know it looks a mess, Your Lordship, but aerating the burrows

is the one proven method of getting rid of moles permanently.

Aerating the burrows?!

It's an old trick. Countrymen like Greengrass knew a thing or two.

Aerate the burrows, then put down the poison.

Apart from we're not going to use...

Well, it had better work, that's all I can say.

You know, you're lucky you've got a mate like me.

You owe me one.

We're not poisoning 'em.

Basically, Don Dibley is suggesting that

either by force or with her consent,

that you have impregnated his -year-old daughter.

What?! That's ridiculous.

I'm sure it is, but he's made a formal complaint.

What's he doing? Starting some kind of vendetta against us?

There is that possibility.

- I'm going to talk to her. - No!

You'll stay well away.

I'm being accused of something I haven't done, Sarge.

This is a delicate situation. I don't want you compromising yourself.

I'd like him to have a go at me like he did Phil. He'd be sorry.

Crane, can I remind you that you're a police officer?

- I know, but... - No buts!

If a false accusation is levelled against you,

then your behaviour must continue to be above reproach.

It's your best protection. Trust me.

r*pe? My goodness.

As a result of which she reckons she's pregnant.

He says you can confirm this.

I haven't spoken to Mr Dibley about his daughter.

Well, you're the lucky one.

Dennis, there's the huge issue of patient confidentiality.

Liz, one of my officers has been accused of a very serious crime.

And I don't think for one second that Steve Crane is guilty.

No, nor do I. But if it comes to his word against hers,

my problem will be proving it.

She's a very vulnerable kid, you know.

She's not what you'd call emotionally mature for her age.

So you think it's her that's lied to her father about Steve?

I don't doubt it for a second.

Is she pregnant?

You're putting me in a very difficult position.

- Oh, come on, Liz. - Look, leave it with me,

and I'll try and talk some sense into her, OK?

SIGHS

MUSIC: 'The Trial' by Tommy Steele

♪ Guilty, not guilty

♪ Guilty, not guilty ♪

- Are you Steve Crane? - Yeah.

- Nice big smile, Constable. - What the heck's going on?

Ashfordly Gazette. Care to comment on the accusation?

What accusation?

That you're the police officer who brutally r*ped a -year-old?

Now, that's a lie.

I'll put "no comment", shall I?

- I'm not so sure about this. - They've done business with you.

Not me. Mr Vernon.

It's a family treasure.

Belonged to my grandad. I just want to get a good price for it.

Oh. Are you sure you didn't steal this?

Steal it? Me?

- You think I'm a thief? - Oh, well. I...

- And I thought we were mates. - We are.

- Oh, let's just forget it, eh? - No, hang on.

- Oh. I'm sorry. - Bit late for sorry.

All right. I'll do it.

No. Not if that's what you think of me.

Please. Look, we are mates. And I do want to help you.

I don't know.

Come on.

BELL RINGS

Oh, no.

What's he up to now, then?

Eh? The old rogue.

Oh. Mr Vernon? Oh.

He's in Scunthorpe. I...

What's this, then?

Is this yours or Vernon's?

- Oh, it's his. - His grandmother's.

Oh, I didn't know you had a rich granny, David.

Oh.

It was her one family treasure.

She left it to David in her will.

Yeah. We seem to get quite a few people in here

with grannies like that.

So what's it worth?

Well... I'm not sure.

Antique jewellery boxes can fetch a considerable amount.

What will you give David?

I'll have to ring round a few dealers, get you a proper price.

- How long will that take? - Not long.

You're not in a rush, are you, David?

Pop back tomorrow then, eh?

You've made a very serious accusation, Tracy.

I never said he made me. Just my dad assuming that.

- I thought you liked Steve. - I do.

He's in real trouble because of you.

It's my dad's fault. He just hates all coppers.

You've got to tell the truth.

Now we both know Steve had nothing to do with your pregnancy

and now he's being accused of a terrible crime.

His career could be in ruins.

I never meant to get him into trouble.

Why did you tell your dad it was Steve?

Because my dad said I had to marry the father.

- Lenny's the father. - I can't marry Lenny!

I'm in love with Steve.

Now, I know this is hard, but if you love Steve,

you've got to do the right thing and tell the truth.

- I never meant to lie. - I know you didn't.

I don't want to hurt Steve.

Then we're going to go and see Sergeant Merton

and your mum and dad, and we're going to tell them the truth.

Aren't we?

- Alf. - Here.

Have you read this?

Oh, do you know...

Dibley wants locking up.

The trouble is you sling enough mud and some of it sticks.

But I'm the one who actually did something, not Steve.

Erm... I'm so sorry, mate.

At least they took a decent photo.

PHONE RINGS

Ashfordly police station.

You've got to stop blaming yourself for all this.

I could have just as easily been driving that car as you.

We both wear the uniform. We're both in the firing line, eh?

ALF: Well, I'll be there in about ten minutes.

TRACY: I never said it was r*pe.

But as soon as I mentioned Steve, my dad jumped to that conclusion.

That's Don all over. Throw a punch first, ask questions later.

So let's be quite clear.

PC Crane has never sexually assaulted you in any way?

No. And I'm sorry I lied to you. And to you, Doctor Merrick.

To me?!

About me and Steve. I knew I had to keep it secret about us.

Keep what a secret?

That's why I said it was Lenny.

GLAD: Lenny? What's he got to do with it?

You told me that Lenny was your baby's father.

- That little runt? - I only said that to protect Steve.

Hang on a minute.

You only met PC Crane the day after your brother's accident.

No. He came to our school last year to do the cycling test.

That's when I knew he was the one.

How old were you? ?

Look, he's the real father of my baby.

He's the one I want to marry. I think we could be really happy.

Well, you surprised me, Mr Jones.

As far as we were aware, no-one had been burgled this week.

How about Lord Ashfordly?

- Ashfordly? - Maybe he hasn't missed it yet.

But this is definitely his family crest here.

Valuable box too.

Beautiful work.

Worth at least £.

Hm! Well, well, well.

Erm... Who brought it in?

Ah. That's the sad part.

- Vernon Scripps's lad. - David Stockwell?

Yes. Him and another lad.

I'd say someone's leading poor David by the nose.

Well, I'll take this back to Lord Ashfordly.

- I'll look into it. - Thanks.

She told me this cousin of hers was the father.

Presumably a blood test would establish the paternity.

Once the baby's born, yes.

But it's obvious she's created some sort of elaborate fantasy

around Steve.

I brought you some tea. And Steve's here.

Crane.

You finally got the truth out of her, then?

Tracy reckons you met at her school last year,

when you went to do the cycle proficiency test.

I had about kids take that test.

I don't actually remember her, but...

What on earth is she saying now?

That you and she have been involved since then, and it's your baby.

- That's just total nonsense. - Well, of course it is.

Look, I'm sorry, Crane, but until this matter is resolved,

I'm going to have to suspend you from duty temporarily.

Suspend me?!

I'm afraid I have no choice.

Oh, gracious. I didn't know it was even missing.

It was my mother's. A wedding present.

Where was it kept?

Oh, just over there on that table at the back,

which is probably why it wasn't missed.

Mrs Kellett's taken on a new maid.

I don't think her dusting's up to much.

A new maid?

One of the Dibleys' numerous offspring.

Tracy, I think.

- Tracy. - Go away.

- I'm getting the money. - What money?

I said I would so you can get rid of it.

- I hate your guts, Lenny Dibley. - What? Why?

I'm going to have my baby. I'm not having an abortion. It's horrible.

- What about your dad? - He knows.

He knows? Well, he's going to k*ll me.

I hope he does. You've nearly ruined everything for me.

Me?! It was your idea we...

Oh, no.

This is all your fault!

Ah, Tracy.

Constable Ventress would like to ask you a couple of questions.

OMINOUS MUSIC

You grass me up...

You even think of grassing me up, I'll be after you!

And I'll get Don and a couple of his mates.

You'll be mincemeat. Understand?

What is going on here?

I've never seen such a mess!

Er... Do you recognise this, David?

CHICKENS CLUCKING

CHILDREN CHATTERING

Whoa!

Steve!

Can we have a chat?

Now, I don't know you and you don't know me.

This is just some schoolgirl crush, but it's going to ruin my career.

- I'm not a schoolgirl. - It's not my baby.

But it could be. I know you like me. This was meant to be, I know it was.

That's why I got pregnant.

Tracy.

You don't seem to realise how serious this is for me.

- Don't you want to marry me? - Of course I don't.

I'm totally in love with you.

You're just a lying, stupid little girl!

Now, you've got to tell the truth!

You don't love me.

No, I don't! And I'm glad we've got that straight.

No-one loves me.

No-one wants me or my baby!

Tracy, come here.

Tracy!

I mean, I saw him climbing out of a window.

Why didn't you tell someone?

I've never had any real mates before.

You've got me and Vernon.

I see your point. What did Alf Ventress have to say about it?

Well, he's gone after Lenny. I've told them everything now.

It'll be all right. Alf knows you're not a bad lad.

Lord Ashfordly's hopping mad.

Yes. About the theft?

No. About his lawn.

- He says he hardly knows Tracy. - They all say that, don't they?

I wasn't much older than her myself when I got wed.

Don wasn't all that keen, but my old man soon sorted him out.

You see that as a recipe to a happy marriage?

We've done all right.

Not married yourself, are you, Doctor?

Can I speak to Tracy?

- I think she's gone to work. - She hasn't.

- He came round last night. - Who?

Him. The copper.

Tracy! Get down here!

She's not there. She went last night.

- What? - Went where, Paul?

I don't know. I reckon her and Steve were eloping.

Well, I hate mole-catching. I tried to tell him that.

What were you trying to do?

I didn't want to poison them,

so I thought I'd just try and persuade them to...

move out.

Well, I reckon you've done that all right.

Let's get started, then.

I've only got this on loan for the afternoon.

Oh, can I drive?

No. Definitely not.

What was the one thing I told you to do? Stay away from her!

- I know. But, Sarge... - I'm fed up with your buts.

- She has been gone all night. - Well, I haven't seen her.

Presumably you shattered her illusions?

I made her face the truth.

Then that's what she's running away from.

Now, I'd say she's frightened and pretty desperate.

She didn't turn up for work today,

but I didn't think too much of that since she's a Dibley.

Well, I'll have the house and the outbuildings checked.

- That will be helpful. - You're really worried about her?

- Doctor Merrick certainly is, yes. - She's always been a silly lass.

I wouldn't put anything past her.

If there's going to be a search, you'd better take some of my people.

Thank you, Your Lordship.

- What the ruddy heck's going on? - We're starting to search for Tracy.

- My lad said she'd gone with you. - Well, she hasn't.

I'm quite concerned about her, Mr Dibley.

I've been to the station, Sarge.

Nobody of her description bought a ticket or boarded the train

last night or this morning.

There's no sign of her at the hall either.

I've just found this in her room.

"Dear Steve, When you read this I will be gone.

I know now that the life I dreamt of is not to be.

It was stupid to think that someone nice like you

could care about the likes of me.

Don't blame yourself for this, one less mouth to feed.

At least my dad will be pleased.

Yours for ever, Tracy."

We'll divide up into groups.

- Bellamy, we'll need sniffer dogs. - Sarge.

All you've ever done is shout at her.

You're a bully and you're a brute!

Glad! Gladys.

Come on. That won't help one little bit.

MAN: Tracy!

Tracy! MAN : Tracy!

WOMAN: Tracy!

MUSIC: 'Tomorrow's Calling' by Marianne Faithfull

MAN : Tracy!

Tracy!

If we don't find her by tonight, that's two nights in the open.

Well, she's young.

She's fit.

And pregnant.

We've used this place for all sorts over the years.

- Poaching? Hiding stolen goods? - You get the general idea.

Tracy! Tracy!

SIGHS

I remember when she were born. Such a little thing.

I could hold her like that in one hand.

SCOFFS

Kids, eh?

Half the time you love 'em, the other half you hate 'em.

FAINT CLATTER

Tracy!

Tracy! Tra...

- Lenny? - Don't hurt me, Don, please.

Oh, no!

Why is everyone always so frightened of me?

I can't imagine (!)

I reckon you've got about another hour or so of daylight, Merton.

We'll try one more sweep.

Dibley. I was wondering when you were going to arrest him.

Lenny has an idea where Tracy might be!

LENNY: The waterfall at Wades Beck.

It's where we used to go. She thought it was romantic.

That's totally inaccessible by road.

You'll never get there on foot before dark.

We can try.

STEVE: Lenny.

Show us.

Don says she wants to marry you.

Is that true?

The less you talk, the easier it will be to keep up.

When she said she was having a baby, I panicked. You do, don't you?

But I don't want some other bloke bringing up my kid.

- Especially not a copper. - Then marry her yourself.

TENSE MUSIC

It's down here.

Tracy!

Tracy!

LENNY: Tracy!

- TRACY: Lenny! - Hang on.

I think I can hear something down there.

There's a sort of ledge. Just about halfway down.

Tracy!

TRACY: Help!

I can hear her. I'm going down.

Down there?! You'll break your neck.

I'll use the rope. You'll have to hang on to me.

You are kidding? I can't hold your weight.

Then you'll have to go down.

Me?! That's a sheer rock-face.

I'll just lower you down. You won't fall, I promise.

- I don't think I can do this. - Of course you can.

- Look, she needs a hero. - I'm not a hero.

No-one is, mate. You just pretend.

Now over you go.

And don't worry.

I won't drop you.

I hate heights.

TRACY: Help!

TENSE MUSIC

TRACY: Help!

- Tracy! - Help me.

- Lenny! - It's all right, Trace.

You're going to be OK.

I was trying to get down to the water's edge, where we used to sit.

- But I slipped. - We'll soon get you out of here.

Lenny, you found me.

SOBS

She has a twisted ankle, but apart from that she's fine.

I just wish I could feel sorry for her.

Well, if you stay in this job long enough,

you get accused of all sorts of things.

Being a young girl's fantasy, some men might be flattered.

I suppose they might. I'm just glad it's all over.

- Yeah. Cheers. - Cheers.

A little bird tells me you two are going in for landscape gardening.

The little bird tells you wrong. We had to returf the whole lawn.

We got rid of the moles, though.

I've come to apologise.

I thought you were supposed to be in jail.

His lordship's not pressing charges. A sort of wedding present.

Me and Tracy are getting married.

Don insisted, did he?

Yeah.

I need a favour.

What?

I need a mate... to be my best man.

What? You want me?

- Would you? - No, he wouldn't.

Yeah, OK.

Great.

Drinks all round. Best man's buying.

SCATTERED CHEERS