14x18 - A Wolf In Sheep's Clothing

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss When my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss Stay in my memory? ♪

SGT MILLER: Walker's right. That's him.

Do we go in?

No, not yet.

SGT MILLER: He's spotted us. Go! Now!

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING

- Here y'are. - Ah, yes.

- It's nothin' special. - No, no. Very nice.

You didn't say how long you'd be staying.

That depends on how quickly I can finish my business.

What sort of business is that, then?

- Well... - Sorry. It's none of mine, is it?

It's no secret, it's just rather boring.

Right. I'll let you get settled in, then, eh?

- Thanks. - See ya later.

SGT MILLER: All tucked up? - Yes, Sarge.

Middlesbrough Police are sending a van to pick him up.

That's the second prisoner they've lost in the past month.

Well, at least it's allowed us to grab a bit of glory.

Or rather Walker, who not only gave us the lead,

but finished it off in style.

Well done, lad.

Oh, er... Bellamy?

Yes, Sergeant?

West Yorkshire Crime Informations, I asked you to check them.

Yeah, er...

well, I didn't see anything in them worth mentioning, Sarge.

Wasn't there something about a spate of car thefts in Leeds and Bradford?

Sports cars, fancy cars, E-types, Mini Coopers, that sort of thing.

Well, yeah, but I can't see them turning up round here.

They'd stick out like a sore thumb.

Really?

Y-Yeah. Sgt Merton always asked me to use my discretion.

I am NOT Sergeant Merton.

Soon as you can.

How many are you having? Are you having three, love? Right.

- Oh, evening, Mr Ford. - Hello. Busy, I see.

One of our local wheeler-dealers flogging his gear.

He reckons that a bit of competition between the lads

improves performance.

Is that what he said?

Well, not in so many words, no.

I think he thinks the station's a bit too cosy for his liking.

There you are, you see?

Miller's not the only one who thinks he's the blue-eyed boy.

Now, then. Sour grapes.

Well, Rob's always gonna have the drop on me, in't he?

What do you mean? What?!

With his dodgy relatives,

he's always gonna have a constant supply of tip-offs.

Well, why don't you cultivate your own narks?

That's easier said than done, in't it?

All the contacts I've ever made have either dried up or gone inside.

I... I could pass on one of mine.

Well, I've put my feet up behind the desk now,

I'm not likely to tap one.

Are you interested?

Well, yeah. Yeah.

Distilled from wild orchids from the mystical East, that.

Hey, it's not bad, that, Vernon. How much?

A pound to you, Gina.

Right. Sold.

Shall I knock it off your slate?

Just the job. Now, then, Constable, how about you?

A special gift for a perfect friend.

Ooh, I don't know, what do you think?

- About what? ROB: Do you want some perfume?

No, come away. I've got plenty of perfume.

ROB: Sure? CLARE: Yeah, why?

Don't you like the sort I wear? - Mmm.

Point taken.

Ah! Now, here looks like a man who has got immaculate taste.

What do you think? - One pound?

Special offer. Cash only, of course.

And no receipt?

Well, no time for admin, I'm afraid.

I'll take a tie as well.

Oh, steady on, sir.

You'll be giving yourself a nosebleed.

VERNON CACKLES

MUSIC: 'Black Eyed Dog' by Nick Drake

DOG WALKER: Hey! DOG BARKS

♪ A black-eyed dog He called for more

♪ A black-eyed dog He knew my name... ♪

Vic Smalley?

Maybe.

Phil Bellamy.

Alf Ventress said that you might be interested in talking to me.

Aye, well, we'll see.

I don't do nothing for charity.

Yeah, I know that.

I just wanted to make contact first, you know, see how you felt.

Broke's how I feel. And thirsty.

Well, does that mean you've got something for me?

Well, I might have, soon as you come up with your end.

Right.

Well, I'll need a background, a name, you know?

Something to interest my boss. - Ray Craven.

- The haulier? - Aye, he's flush with money.

And it's not through taking sheep to market.

- Want a cup of tea? - Good idea, David.

Sorry we're a bit late, Mo. - No matter.

Knocking them down this afternoon.

- Gavin? - All right, boss?

When you've got them sheep unloaded,

get yourself straight back to t'farm.

OK, boss.

Now then, all. What's going on here?

My services not good enough for you?

It's just half a dozen sheep, Ray. Not worth your while.

No excuse for bringing 'em in a bone-shaker like that, though.

How many times have I been telling you to change that bulb?

All right, Gina. I'm doing it.

GINA: Oscar?

Yeah?

I think our guest works for the Inland Revenue.

Isn't that the official crest?

OSCAR: Yeah, that's the one.

GINA: Lucky we've got nothing to hide.

Don't you bank on it.

- Mr Allsop? - Yeah?

Derek Ford, inspector of taxes.

What do you want?

A full and frank disclosure of your income would be very nice.

But I'll settle for a cup of tea to start with.

Is Craven known to us?

No, only as a local businessman. He hasn't got a record.

What about the snout? Is he reliable?

Well, he's very fond of the bottle,

but if you talk to him before midday, he's all there.

Hmm...

Craven's business is moving livestock to and from markets

all over the North Riding.

He's also into exporting sheep through Whitby Docks.

So what?

Well, the snout reckons that it's a cover for other activities.

The fact is, I don't have a budget for paying snouts

but there are ways and means if the situation warrants it.

Well, he tells me that there's something imminent, Sarge.

All right. We'd better hear what he has to say.

I'm not joking!

As he stuck the knife in, the smile never left his face.

Well, why didn't you call an accountant?

I haven't even got a set of books, let alone an accountant.

Cash in hand's all I know, like most folk in these parts.

So what happened?

He had a look round the farm and had a guess.

- A guess?! - "Assessment", he called it.

Five years back tax!

Said I could agree the figure and pay up,

or he'd come back with a couple of his mates and do t'job proper.

Why are you telling ME all this?

Because you're t'next on his list.

KNOCKS

- Hi. - Oh, hello!

'Ey, I thought you'd be out all day.

Forgotten something.

Do you want a ham sandwich?

Yeah. Thanks.

You know you asked me what my business was?

Oh, forget it. I'm just nosy.

No, there's really nothing to hide.

I'm a tax inspector.

Oh.

Oh, right.

Do I still get a sandwich?

No.

Course. It's an important job you do.

We'll have to drain the oil, take the sump off.

Yeah. All right.

You still here?

Of course, I am!

This is serious, Bernard.

I don't know what mess you've got yourself into this time,

but get out of it yourself. I'm busy.

He's coming for me, the baby-faced assassin!

What's in the bag?

My accounts. I just picked 'em up from the accountant.

He hadn't even looked at them!

No wonder.

The tax inspector was in the pub when I was flogging the gear.

He's gonna want to know how much money I'm making.

Then tell him!

You must be joking.

Well, what do you want me to do about it?

I want you to hide some of my stock.

So he doesn't get the idea I'm coining it in.

- Oh, no. - Well, just for a day or two.

No, Vernon! Find yourself another mug.

This one's off to road-test a car.

I was always lousy at sums.

But judging from these figures, a very good businesswoman.

Oh, I don't like the sound of that. How much do I owe?

Don't panic.

Including some arrears, I make it £ .

That's not too bad.

Bad enough. Will a cheque be all right?

Fine.

Hey, you're next for the confessional, Oscar.

Who do I make it out to? - "Inland Revenue".

Here, I've got a stamp. - Oh, right.

Almost painless. Hm.

MUSIC: 'Travelling Man' by Free

♪ I don't stay nowhere long

♪ Travelling man Don't turn your back

♪ Before you know, I'm gone

♪ Don't ask me

♪ Where have I been

♪ Or if I'm staying long... ♪

- What's up? - What you got on board?

Sheep for Whitby Dock.

Open her up.

You got the paperwork?

♪ Travelling man is what I am

♪ I don't stay nowhere long

♪ Travelling man... ♪ SGT MILLER: Ready?

♪ Don't turn your back

♪ Before you know, I'm gone

♪ Hey baby

♪ Now jump aboard SHEEP BLEATING

♪ And help me to sing this song

♪ Don't you worry About the boys and me

♪ Ain't gonna do you know wrong... ♪

Well?

Nothing, Sarge.

Nothing?!

SGT MILLER: Brilliant (!)

I'll see you back at the station.

When you've rounded this lot up.

♪ Before you know, I'm gone

♪ Yes! Whoo!

♪ I'm movin' on... ♪

ENGINE STARTS

♪ Oh!

THUMP, HEADLAMP SHATTERS

♪ Travelling man... ♪

We've missed the boat, thanks to you lot!

And now I shall have to hold and feed them sheep

till I can get 'em away again!

That's if the customer still wants 'em.

As I've said, Mr Craven, it was a regrettable mistake.

And an expensive one, too.

I shall be wanting full compensation for this... shambles!

It wasn't only petrol I came for.

I thought not.

I've brought my books up to date, just in case.

You're an organised man, Mr Scripps, I can see that.

Are you any relation to the other Scripps?

Vernon, is it?

Er... yes, related, but we've not a lot in common.

- You're not in business with him? - Oh, absolutely not.

What the blazes?!

I don't know what to say.

How's about, "I wouldn't be seen dead in that?"

LAUGHS

And you lot have not heard the end of this!

There goes one very dissatisfied customer.

Bellamy, stay out of my way for a while, eh?

Right, Sarge.

Do what you're here to do,

paperwork, crime sheets, missing cars, shoplifters,

litterbugs! - Right.

And next time you get the itch to play detective,

let somebody more capable scratch it for you!

PHIL: Don't you even dare.

Phil?

Phil?

DOOR SLAMS

We'd best keep an eye on him.

Who's the bloke in the kitchen?

He's from the Inland Revenue.

Well, what's he doing?

Signing my death warrant (!)

Just a bit more.

Sorry it's such a mess. CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

Even my accountant took fright when he saw this lot.

Oh, we're made of sterner stuff than that, Mr Scripps.

Oh.

We usually go back three years.

Four, if we wanna be awkward.

But this is so much fun, let's go back five, shall we?

Er, David?

Er, why don't you pour a glass of your auntie's elderberry wine

for our visitor?

Not for me, thanks. I like to keep a clear head.

Of course.

There's a reference here to a large house

you bought not long ago.

Ah, yes, yes. I, erm...

I came into some money.

- Aw! I was his chauffeur. - Oh, yeah?

'Ey, you had a Bentley, didn't ya?

Er... yes, er, second-hand.

Nothing but trouble, it was. Virtually gave it away.

The truth is, I, er...

lost the money as fast as it came in.

Is that so?

Well, I'm sure your records will reveal all.

Hey! Leave off!

What the 'eck's got into you?

We'll have a guess, shall we?

Your information was duff,

and now my boss wants my backside for a plate rack!

- Tough! - Listen, you...

It don't come with no guarantees.

Now, listen up. I've got more stuff on Craven.

I don't wanna know.

Well, then, miss out.

You're not gonna get any more money, ya know?

If you wanna get back in with your gaffer, listen.

£ gets you Craven bang to rights.

Forget it.

Well, if you change your mind,

meet me on Oakbrook Bridge at seven o'clock.

So... allowing for gaps in your book-keeping

and those little cash-in-the-hand encounters...

What's this?

That's what you owe us in back tax.

You're having me on.

Sorry, no. You haven't paid us for some while,

and now I'm afraid the chickens have come home to roost.

I can't pay this.

Or anything like it.

You'd be surprised how many times we hear that, Mr Scripps.

But as we say in the service, we have ways of helping you pay.

- How do you mean? - Well, I can give you a choice.

Either I schedule the payments over a period of time,

or I can offer you a discount if you stump up now.

A slow death or a quick k*ll.

I'll give you till tomorrow morning to decide.

See myself out, shall I?

DAVID: Oh. Well, what happened?

Everything all right?

He seems like a nice bloke. Is he gonna come back?

DOOR SHUTS

Er, David, sit down. I want to talk to you.

What about?

I seem to have got myself into a bit of a mess.

In what way?

Well, it's nothing really for you to bother your head about.

Oh. It's just that if it was money...

Well, I might be able to help.

How?

I've been saving sixpences in a great big bottle.

and I've got it about up to here now,

so if you need the money, it's yours.

It's very generous of you, David.

But you hang onto it.

You might need it for your own rainy day.

OK.

So, er, what do you wanna talk about?

Well, it's hard to find the words, but...

I just wanted to say that you're a good lad, David,

and grand company.

Not just that. You're...

Well, you're like a son, I suppose.

Mr Vernon...

I just want to think that I've given you the confidence to go it alone

when the time comes.

- Go where alone? - Well, into the future.

Oh, that.

Just remember the advice I've given you,

and you'll be all right.

What, you mean things like, er, "Fortune favours the brave?"

Yes.

And, "Be true to your teeth, or they'll be false to you."

Er, well, yes, that as well.

I get the impression Mr Blaketon doesn't approve

of me taking you out.

Oh, just ignore him. It's like living with my dad.

GINA CHUCKLES

DOOR OPENS Hello, Alf.

Your usual? - Oh, ta.

Er, I see that Gina's got a new fella.

Ha! Ships passing in the night, more like.

Is that his car outside, the Triumph Vitesse?

Yeah.

What do you know about him?

Well, he works for the Inland Revenue.

He's been staying here. Name of Ford.

- Ford? - Aye. Derek Ford.

Well, that's funny.

I saw him dent a car, outside the shops, and drive off.

And when I ran a check on the car,

it came back that it was registered in the name of David Watson.

Are you sure it's his car? - Yeah.

INDISTINCT

TYRES SCREECH

SPLASH

Are you all right, mate? Come on.

All right, mate. Come on.

MUSIC: 'The Wind' by Cat Stevens

♪ I listen to the wind To the wind of my soul

♪ Where I'll end up Well I think only God really knows

♪ I've sat upon the setting sun

♪ But never, never, never, never

♪ I never wanted water once

♪ No, never, never, never

♪ I listen to my words But they fall far below

♪ I let my music take me Where my heart wants to go

♪ I swam upon the Devil's lake

♪ But never, never, never, never

♪ I'll never make the same mistake

♪ No, never, never, never

♪ I listen to the wind To the wind of my soul

♪ Where I'll end up Well I think only God really knows

♪ I've sat upon the setting sun

♪ But never, never, never, never

♪ I never wanted water once

♪ No, never, never, never. ♪

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

MUSIC: 'We Used To Know' by Jethro Tull

♪ Hard to find new words to say

♪ I think about the bad old days

♪ We used to know

♪ Could be soon We'll cease to sound

♪ Slowly upstairs, faster down

♪ Then to revisit stony grounds

♪ We used to know. ♪

DOG BARKING

- Where is he? - Er, I don't know.

I brought this stuff back he tried to hide in the funeral parlour.

I couldn't get it all in

so I shall expect one of you two to shift the rest, soonest.

Mr Scripps, Mr Vernon's not here.

Tell him when he gets back.

His bed's not been slept in.

Oh?

I think he's gone missing.

Are you sure he didn't tell you where he was going?

Yeah. Well, after that tax inspector left,

he seemed right bothered, and he...

Well, he just started talking all funny.

About what?

I don't know, he was saying things like I was a good lad,

and I'd been like a... a son to him.

I could tell he wasn't being himself.

Now he's gone missing, and so's the truck.

GINA HUMMING A TUNE

- You were in late last night, Gina. - Yeah, for a change.

Look, er, this is probably none of my business,

but this bloke, you've gotta be careful of him.

- Oh, here we go again. - No, I mean it Gina.

Like you said, Oscar, none of your business.

OSCAR: Will you listen to me for a minute?

GINA: I don't wanna listen.

It's about you. You're always trying to spoil things for me.

All right, talk to Alf Ventress, if you won't listen to me.

Alf Ventress, grouch number two? No, thanks.

- Gina, I've found something. - Pity it wasn't your funny bone.

If you won't listen to me, somebody at the station will.

And don't say I didn't warn you!

MUSIC: 'Rider On The Wheel' by Nick Drake

♪ And now you know my name

♪ But I don't feel the same

♪ But I ain't gonna blame

♪ The rider on the wheel. ♪

How long's that been standing?

Alf likes it strong.

Yeah, but there's strong and there's strong.

You could run a mouse across this.

Don't get onto me cos you've been lumbered with that lot.

Well, your day'll come, mate.

I could do with someone nicking one of these for me.

- What, an Austin Healey? - No, too flashy.

A Mini Cooper. The Italian Job, eh?

You in a Mini Cooper? The mind boggles, Younger.

You're a menace enough on your pushbike.

Have you finished? - Yes, Sergeant.

Ah. Morning, Sergeant.

Mr Blaketon. What can we do for you?

Er, do you have a moment?

SGT MILLER: Yes, come through.

Carry on.

If, er...

if Miller asks where I am,

tell him I've gone to get a statement from the, er,

farmer with the dangerous dog.

KNOCK AT DOOR GINA: Hello?

KNOCKING CONTINUES

Morning!

Breakfast in five minutes.

KNOCKING CONTINUES

Hello?

As soon as Alf gave me a reason to believe

that Ford wasn't who he said he was,

I searched his room.

I see.

And do you do the same with all those

who book in under the name of Mr and Mrs Smith (?)

OSCAR CHUCKLES Only when I smell a rat, Sergeant.

And there's a strong smell about this fella, believe me.

PHONE RINGING This is what I found.

One perfectly ordinary rubber stamp, "Inland Revenue".

And second...

a not-so-ordinary stamp...

which, when superimposed on the other, reads...

"Finland Revell and Partners".

So converting cheques made out to the Inland Revenue

into a separate account entirely.

- Alf! - Sarge.

Get onto Gina Ward.

Get her to delay the departure of the man who's staying there.

It's too late. She's just phoned.

He's legged it, without paying the bill.

MUSIC: 'Hide And Seek' by Marty Wilde

♪ You're playing hide and seek With me

♪ And everybody else can see

♪ Just when I want you near You run away

♪ And leave me lovelessly

♪ Here in a corner

♪ You're playing hide and seek Too much

♪ And if you wanna keep in touch

♪ Well then I've gotta hear Your voice call out

♪ You're not the closest but

♪ You're getting warmer. ♪

Morning.

Er, Mr Vernon's not here, you know?

- Are you sure? - Yeah.

Well, he knew I was coming. Did he say when he'd be back?

- No. - Then I'd better start without him.

Oh, excu... Excuse me?

DOG BARKING

- What are you doing? - My job.

- That should do it. - Oh. Thanks, Bernie.

She obviously responds to an expert hand, eh?

Just a spot of damp, I reckon.

Look, it's probably nothing...

but I've just come over from Vernon's place.

He didn't get home last night. He hasn't phoned or left a message,

so David's in a bit of a lather.

I promised to call and ask if any accidents had been reported.

Not to my knowledge.

But I can get Alf to ask round and about.

Thanks. Yeah.

Vernon's been in a muck sweat about this taxman.

Oh, yeah? You think he might be lying low?

Had crossed my mind.

Excuse me, Rob.

Delta Alpha two four to Control. Over.

SHEEP BLEATING

VOICES OUTSIDE

OK, thanks, Alf. Out.

That was Alf. Asking if I'd seen the taxman.

Apparently, he's bogus. - What?

Yeah, the Inland Revenue don't know him.

He's cleaned everyone out and skedaddled.

- I just saw him. - When?

On my way back here.

Odds-on he's going to Vernon's place.

Right. Thanks, Bernie.

OK, where is it?

- What? - His cash!

- What cash? - OK, please yourself.

But when I've found it, I'm coming after you.

HENS CLUCKING

- Where's Ford? - Well, he's here somewhere.

He's outside!

You may not be a taxman, but it's a pleasure all the same.

I talked to the office at Whitby Harbour,

asked them to give us a word of Craven's next shipment.

Perhaps I should commend you on your persistence, Bellamy.

It depends on the result yet, Sergeant.

True. KNOCK AT DOOR

SGT MILLER: Yes, Alf?

We had a report that Vernon Scripps had gone missing.

Yes. What of it?

Well, Whitby Police have found his lorry on the beach.

There was a letter inside. It seems that, er,

this bogus tax inspector had harassed him so much,

he decided su1c1de was his only way out.

That doesn't sound like Vernon.

Then we didn't know him that well.

They found a body.

Have you looked at the carburettor?

Yeah, it's not working.

You're gonna have to order a new one.

Hello, Bernie. Can we have a word?

Of course.

Erm... somewhere quiet?

Oh, aye.

What is it?

Vernon's lorry's been found on the coast near Whitby.

What's he doing there?

I'm afraid we have sad news, Mr Scripps.

A letter was found inside the lorry.

It seems that your brother went there

with the intention of taking his own life.

su1c1de?! Vernon?! No, he'd never.

Sorry, Bernie.

We've found a body.

No. No, it can't be.

There's firm evidence that it's your brother.

ROB: Would you like to sit down? - No, no.

I think you'd better.

I wasn't any help to him, and I should've listened.

He got into so many scrapes, I just lost patience with him.

What on earth am I gonna tell David?

I don't know.

As next of kin, Whitby Police would like you to identify the body.

Yeah, yeah, of course.

And they've warned that it might not be very pleasant.

Sorry?

Well, it seems there was a heavy swell that night.

I see.

ROB: Would you like us to drive you to Whitby?

No, no, no. No, no, I'd best tell David first.

BERNIE: It's him.

DAVID SOBBING

I'm sorry, lad.

Come on. Stiff upper lip.

DAVID SNIFFLES

Poor Mr Vernon.

He must've been so unhappy.

I suppose so.

I guess that's why he talked to me like he did.

Like it was the last time.

Because it was.

I've been laying out bodies for years.

When it came to my own brother, I barely dared look at him.

I wanted to remember him how I knew him.

I'll talk to Spencer's at Ashfordly.

We're not doing the funeral?

No. We're chief mourners this time.

Not the undertakers.

BAND PLAYING MOURNFUL JAZZ

There you go. Grab yourselves a butty.

- Er, Thank you. - Not for me, Gina.

Get yourself something to eat, David.

Thanks. I'm not hungry.

Come on. Get some food down you. Soak up all that drink.

It was a lovely service, Bernie.

Yeah, considering the vicar knew him so well.

Vernon touched every one of us,

for a bob or two, but you couldn't help but like him.

Oh, we'll miss him, there's no doubt about it.

I know.

I said to him, I said,

"If you've got any money problems, I can help."

Yes, all right, all right, lad.

He was like a dad to me.

PHONE RINGING

I'll go and get him another drink.

Aidensfield Arms.

Alf, phone for you.

Oh. Hello?

Do you remember that time that Vernon managed that boxer?

He had bags of ability, but he was too docile.

So Vernon thought if he could get him mad,

he'd come out swinging.

- Well, it worked, didn't it? - Yeah. He laid Vernon out cold.

LAUGHTER

Ah! Alf, want another drink?

Er, I'll have one for David, here. Make it a large one.

He's gotta sleep tonight.

Er... that was Whitby.

They're expecting Craven tomorrow morning.

Now, er, let's get you upstairs.

No, on second thoughts,

I think I'll take you into the kitchen.

CLATTER Oop. Now, mind the door.

In you go.

Just stay there one second, and I'll get a light on.

Right. Now, in the armchair.

I'll get you a... There we go.

Come here.

Make you more comfy.

Right. Well, you sleep well.

I'll see you tomorrow, perhaps.

God bless you.

FRONT DOOR SHUTS

DOG WHIMPERS Shh!

CAR STARTS OUTSIDE

CAR DRIVES AWAY

SLURRING: You can't be Mr Vernon. We just buried him.

I'm his ghost.

I've come specially to see you.

To tell you that Mr Vernon's gone to another place,

er, a very nice place.

And although he's not going to be here like before,

he'll still be looking after you, to make sure you're safe and happy.

Do you understand?

Oh, and David?

Best not say anything about this little conversation, eh?

MUSIC: 'The Rise And Fall Of Flingel Bunt' by The Shadows

No Craven.

Here's his car now, Sarge.

Go on.

He's opening up. Time to go.

Hold it! Hold it!

I'd say the game was up, Mr Craven.

I've warned you once, Miller. Are you trying to ruin my business?

And what business is that? Exporting sports cars?

No law against it.

Oh, there is if they're stolen.

It tallies, Sarge.

Where did you get the car from, Mr Craven?

I'm saying nothing without my solicitor.

Very wise. You can meet him down the station.

Good work, Constable.

Do the honours, would you? - Yes, Sarge.

Ray Craven,

I'm arresting you on suspicion of handling stolen goods.

BONNET SLAMS HOOVES CLOPPING

- Here you go. - Oh, thanks.

How are you getting on?

I'm not. I can't seem to concentrate.

Well, do you want me to finish off?

No, no. You've got enough to do.

OK.

Hi, David.

Rosie.

I'll get off, then.

You're looking very pale, young man.

Like you've just seen... you know.

- What? - Your breakfast again.

Oh.

I thought you meant like you've seen a ghost.

Because I have.

What?

Last night. I saw a ghost.

Well, I'm not surprised, t'state you were in.

It was Mr Vernon's ghost.

And he said... he said not to worry,

because everything's gonna be all right,

and he's in a nice place,

and he's gonna sorta watch over me.

Good. Must be a great comfort to you.

- Yeah. - Sounds like you had a nice chat.

Yeah, we did.

Well, it was him, mainly, because I was a bit...

Drunk.

I don't remember much after that.

And then when I woke up, I mean, he'd gone.

Yeah, well...

Taken his passport.

Passport?

Yeah, he used to keep it in the drawer with my stencil set.

Vernon's ghost took his passport with him?

STUTTERING: Rosie's brewed up. Go and get yourself a cup of tea.

Not possible, is it? He couldn't...

He wouldn't...

Oh, yes, he would.

ROMANTIC MUSIC

Tickets, please.

HIGH VOICE: Are we on time?

On the dot, madam. Dover in minutes.

And if you're making the crossing,

I hear the sea's as calm as you like.

Oh, lovely.

Bon voyage.

Vernon, I think you've made a hit there.