01x02 - Monsters, Get Real / Snorched If You Do, Snorched If You Don't

[bunniefuu]

[Clock chiming, thunderclap]

[Creaking]

[Owl hooting]

[Shrieking]

[Crying]

[Gasps]

[Screaming]

Lazy slime balls!

[Captioning sponsored

By nickelodeon

And the u.s. Departmen

Of education]

[Needle scratching record]

[Chuckles]

[Thunderclaps]

"Its ugly wounds

Bled green, bilious fluid

As it came closer and closer"

[Sniffing, coughing]

"Till the monster's

Hot breath was in his face"

[Knock at door]

Man:

Bradley, are you asleep?

Yeah, dad.

I thought so.

I hope you're

Not reading

Those monster

Comics again.

They'll give you

Nightmares, son.

Monsters get real.

[Thunderclap]

[Bed creaking]

[Bug skittering]

[Liquid flowing]

[Thunderclap]

[Bed creaking]

[Quiet growl]

[Both screaming]

[Panting]

Huh?

[Factory whistle blowing]

[Liquid bubbling]

[Machinery clanking]

[Panting, rapid footsteps]

Oh, boy, I really blew it.

The gromble's going to fry me

For sure.

[Echoing clank]

[Mechanical squeaking]

But what if the gromble

Puts me in the trash compactor?

Oh, sure,

It's fun the firsttime.

Gromble:

Of all the nauseating,

Puke-spouting slime

Toe-jam-eating, foul-smelling

Worm-ridden,

Wart-covered, pus-oozing

Pimples on the butt of creation

I've ever seen

[Shouting]:

This class is the grungiest!

[Sweetly]:

And I'm darn proud of you!

[Quietly]:

Where's ickis?

I really

Wouldn't know.

But good grooming isn't enough.

No, no, no.

Our job is to scare the pants

Off of everything that moves

And that takes

Guts.

[Belching]

I hate I

When he does that.

[Rapid sniffing]

Ooh, excuse

Me, sir.

My nose is running.

Enough!

Where was i?

Oh, yes, yes, yes.

Up to now,

You could only scare

Puppies and bunnies.

But tonigh

Was your first real test--

Terrifying humans!

Are you paying attention,

Mister?!

Y-y-yes, sir,

I-i'm all ears!

Right!

Let's see some demonstration--

Who's first? Krumm!

Thanks, oh, grea

Gromble, sir.

[Metallic clanking]

[Zapping]

[Whirring]

[Mechanical creaking]

[Ocean waves breaking]

[Soft music playing]

Gromble:

Sweaty teenagers-- good choice!

Now let's notice how krumm waits

Until just the right moment

[Teens moaning softly]

[Kissing]

[Krumm chuckling]

[Screaming]

[Class cheering]

[Door squeaking]

Good work, krumm!

The old smelly

Armpits att*ck.

And I don't wear deodorant.

[Sniffing]

We know.

All right, which one

Of you nose-pickers is next?

All:

Me! Me! Me! Me!

You!

Uh, sure, oh, well, I oh!

[Clanking]

[Zapping]

Gromble:

The old "it came

From under the bed" approach.

Not exactly original

Let's see

[Muttering]

Ah! Scary poses!

At least you checked the manual.

[Bed creaking]

Here we go again.

Uh-oh.

Stop.

[Screeching]

Do you have any idea

What you did?

Completely humiliated myself?

No-o.

You left your

Monster manual behind!

Do you know

What will happen

If you do not ge

That manual back?

You're not going

To t*rture me, are you?

[Laughing ]

Of course not!

[Sighing]

That's his job.

[Gasping]:

It's the snorch.

[Growling]

I can't go back.

That kid,

He's going to get me.

I got to get that book.

But I can't get the book.

Of course you can,

Just go get the book.

I can't face the snorch!

You can face the snorch

You're strong

I'm worm food.

Will you please shut up

So that I can get some sleep?

I will help you tomorrow.

All you got to do is

Scare the kid

Grab the manual and split.

He's jus

A little boy.

How hard can it possibly be?

You can do this.

Doo-doo-doo-doo-do.

Or this:

La-la-la-la-la.

Or maybe this:

[Roaring]

[Teeth chattering]

Why don't you

Scare the boy

And I'll

Take notes.

An excellent idea, ickis.

You will?

Oh, that's great!

Terrific!

Magni

Unfortunately

I hate that word.

Bummer.

If the gromble found ou

We did your assignmen

We'd be snorched.

But we will go with you

And support you 100,000%

Swell.

I know a shortcut.

[Blowing]

[Scratching]

Hee, hee.

[Water dripping]

[Splashing]

[Echoing boom]

What was that?

The sounds

Of the sewer.

Beautiful, huh?

Hurry up.

I don't relish

Trudging

Around here

Much longer.

Let me see.

That's north.

Which means that's east.

Which means

We should have taken the bus.

[Growling]

[Snarling]

Grungy?

Krummy!

[Sucking, squishing]

Ickis and oblina

Meet my uncle grungy.

Oh, my!

Any friend of krummy's.

Come here.

O-oh, it's no

Necessary, sir.

[Squishing]

Charmed, I'm sure.

Grungy,

You know the sewers.

I can't find

The main pipe to 76th street.

Hop in the sub o-joint.

Crawl three main pipes down

Then hang a right.

Thanks.

Bye, krummy.

Take it sleazy.

[Sloshing]

I love I

When he does that.

Give me a hand.

[Sighs]

Let's go.

I've really missed this.

What have you missed?

The cold, the damp,

Or the furry little creatures

That crawl up your nose?

[Skittering]

Never mind.

Hee, hee.

[Flushing]

What's that noise?

Sounds like water.

We've go

To get out of here.

It's just water.

Hee, hee.

And some extra goodies.

Wh-wh-what are we going to do?

The backstroke.

Krumm, you imbecile!

[Gushing]

I can't swim!

Oblina, catch.

We're coming after you.

Surf's up.

Here goes nothing.

Help, help!

Hang on, oblina.

[Screaming]

[Laughing nervously]

[Karate cry]

[Chuckling]

That was a royal flush!

[Gurgling]

Next time,

I'll take the bus.

I love you! I love you!

I love you!

Hee, hee, hee.

How adorable.

This is going

To be easy.

That book is mine!

[Kids shouting]

Take that!

Oh, I be

They're little monsters!

I can't do it, guys, I can't.

Please, let's go home.

Well, it's them or

The snorch.

[Rapid f*ring]

[Alarm ringing]

[Clattering]

[Shouting, laughing]

[Bump]

[Kids talking, laughing]

Hey, brad,

What's this piece of crud?

Probably my sister's.

[Sniffing]

Sure stinks.

[Pops]

Ooh! Aah! Aah!

[Mimicking toy]:

I love you!

I love you!

[Kids shouting]

[Chuckling]

[Thudding]

[Shouting, banging]

[Groaning]

[Clicking]

Oh!

Wha!

Wha!

Ooh!

Hey!

Let's throw them

Out the window

And see if

They bounce.

[Hissing]

[Shouting]:

No!

[Roaring]

[Roaring]

[Operatic singing]:

R-r-ahh!

[Menacing growl]

Help! Help!

You were

Awesome, ickis.

You really saved our butts.

Especially mine.

[Sniffing]

Mmm.

I must admi

You were very impressive.

I didn't know

You could be such

A monstrous monster.

[Voice cracking]:

Neither did i.

When I saw you guys

In danger

My instincts just kicked in.

Try to hold on

To the manual

In the future.

I'm not letting I

Out of my sight.

In fact, I'm going to read

A chapter or two right now.

Arf, arf, arf

Huh?

"Sergeant mike police dog"?

Oh, guys, we go

The wrong book!

[Popping]

[Echoing scream]

[Flapping]

[Manic laughter]

[Clock chiming]

[Moaning]

[Thunderclap]

He won't go back

In his room.

It's those darn

Monster comics.

[Howling]

[Meowing]

[Pages turning]

Don't worry,

Ickis

We'll get your manual back

Right after school.

Hey, ickis

You got your manual?

Was there

Ever any doubt?

See you in class

Slimebucket.

I'm not going.

Don't be silly.

If you cut the gromble's class

He'll send you to be snorched.

If I go, he'll find ou

I don't have my manual

And have me snorched.

Snorched if you do

And snorched

If you don't.

Are you through using me?

Yeah.

Then move on.

Your stench

Is making me feel faint.

Thanks.

Gee, ickis

I hope you go

Your manual.

[Snickering]

I've got it, frunk.

Stop worrying about me.

You're oozing, you know.

What am i?

The afternoon

Entertainment around here?

If I get asked

About that manual

One more time

Do you have

Your manual?

No, I don't!

But I do

Have this!

Go ahead, ask me again.

Make my century!

My, my,

A bit touchy, aren't we?

That is no way

To treat your locker.

He's just doing his job.

Hm, yeah, you're right.

I apologize, locker.

Ah, forget it.

I've been under

A lot of pressure.

I don't have my manual

For gromble's

Big deal!

He won't be there.

He's sick.

He is?

Yes-s!

I, oh, I mean

Oh, gee, i, I hope he's okay.

[Gigantic belch]

Oops!

That's the belch for class.

Come on, guys.

I didn't know

The gromble was sick.

He isn't.

Someone's got to teach

That kid some respect.

[Both laughing]

Slimebucket:

You sure you got the manual?

Oh, sure.

No, I don't.

The gromble's jus

Going to have to wait.

I am a very busy monster.

You're not afraid

Of being snorched.

Me? Ha! Ha-ha!

I laugh at the snorch.

I laugh at the gromble.

In fact, sometimes,

I just laugh.

[Laughing]

How come you

Stopped laughing?

Good afternoon, class.

But, um, um,

My locker said that

Time to change

Your locker, ickis.

Well, you all look

Particularly ugly today.

Thank you,

Your magnificence.

Actually, I'm feeling

A bit blue, myself.

How about cheering up

Your old teacher

With a good old-fashioned howl?

Now!

[Howling]

[Howling]

Ahh!

The purest howl comes

From the inside out.

[Louder howling]

Aah! Much better!

Okay, coming

To a conclusion

Crescendo!

[Loud howling stops]

Beautiful,

My malevolent wonders.

You've really cheered me up.

As a reward

I'm taking you

On a class trip

To the slime pits

For a fun afternoon

Of slurping and burping.

Together:

Yeah!

Well, it looks like

You lucked out, ickis.

Yes-s!

But first

Where's your manual?

Um, might I say, sir

That the boils on your back

Are a stunning corpulence.

Th-they're really

Quite fetching.

Excellent job

Of sucking up, ickis.

Where's your manual?

[Screaming]

What?

I, I didn't ge

My manual back.

Now, don't be so

Hard on yourself.

All you need to set you

On the right path is

A good old-fashioned

Monster-to-monster talk.

Slimebucket!

Yes, your

Gromble, sir?

Escort ickis down to snorch

And tell him, "light scolding."

Oh, what the hey!

Throw in

A "complete mashing," too.

[Gasps]

Ickis, we've

Never been that close

But if anything happens

Can I have

Your hairball collection?

I'll take tha

As a "maybe."

You an I

Are about to share

A very personal

Experience.

Here.

Beginning to feel

The closeness?

I am.

Number 13.

[Snorch growling]

It's such a mangy, snorchy

Tease.

It's our old pal

And comrade in arms

Ickis.

[Squeaking]:

Hi guys!

[High pitched]:

Hee, hee, hee.

[Low pitched]:

Hee, hee, hee.

61. Ha-ha-ha!

Well,

At least time's on my side.

Oh, whoops!

Sorry.

[Gasps]

Krumm:

We're missing the slime pits.

Ickis owes me big time.

We're going to find the manual

And get him out of this mess.

Now

Isn't that much better

Than traveling by sewer, hm?

Wait.

I'll see if the coast is clear.

So, it's too hot in 10-b.

Let's see if you cheapskates

Stiff me again next christmas.

[Evil laughter]

[Evil laughter]

[Coughing]

This is it.

[Thud]

Krumm

Are you all right?

[Chomping]

I've had better knobs.

Dad:

Enough tv, bradley.

Go upstairs

And do your homework.

I'm never going

In that room again.

It's time you go

Over that, kiddo.

Come on, son.

It's time to

Face your fear

And laugh.

I don'

Think so, dad.

Don't worry.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

You see?

There are

No monsters in here.

Unless one

Of your stuffed animals

Comes to life.

Come on, kiddo.

You've go

Homework to do.

[Growling]

[Meowing]

What's the matter, boots?

[Grunts]

[Screams]

Daddy!

What are you looking at?

Great technique.

Thanks.

It gets boring down here.

This helps

Pass the time.

Oh, you, you're no

Concerned about snorch?

That wimp!

I'll show him

A thing or two.

Next.

See you 'round, guys.

No, not that.

No, please,

Anything but that.

[Screaming]:

No-o!

Krumm:

There it is.

Be careful.

Humans!

I got it, I got it.

[Horn blasts]

I don't got it.

This is going

To be a long day.

[Brakes screeching]

[Grunting]

[Shouting]

[Water gushing]

[Bubbling]

[Gurgling]

Krumm,

Speak to me.

Uh what's tha

Terrible smell?

It's me!

I'm clean.

Look.

Your turn.

[Tires screeching]

Guard monster:

We're running late.

So many victims.

So little time.

Um, pardon me,

In the interests of speed

And the overall good

I am willing to forfeit my turn

And then return at a later date.

How's next century?

[Laughing]

Good idea.

Forget it.

Numbers 17 through 21,

Line up and be ready.

Now.

Uh, sorry, sorry.

You first.

No, no, you go ahead.

No, no, really,

After you please.

Oh, I couldn't, couldn't.

You be my guest, huh?

No backsies.

[Blowing raspberries]

[Sniffing]

Ah, old sardines.

It is so dark

I can't find that silly manual.

Relax.

Enjoy the moment.

[Clattering]

[Mechanical racket]

Can we do this again

On my birthday?

Come on

We have work to do.

Ooh!

[Groaning]

Oh, krumm

Look.

[Panting, gasping]

[Gasping]

[Groaning]

[Screams]

[Crackling]

[Factory whistle blows]

[Krumm shouting]

Very attractive.

Let's go home.

Number ooh!

19.

[Screaming]

Have mercy, snorch.

Mercy!

Zimbo

I'll give snorch

My slugs, anything.

Why waste his energy

On a worthless monster like me?

Hee-ee-ee.

[Growling]

[Roaring]

No thrashing

In the hallways.

Those are the rules.

Krumm!

Oblina!

Help!

Relax, ickis.

We have your manual.

Did you hear

Those beautiful words?

"We have your manual."

"We have your manual."

Ya-da-da da dut-dut da!

"We have your manual."

We have your manual!

Zimbo:

As if we care.

This makes hardly a den

In our consciousness.

He is ours, is he no

Your great extraordinary,

Marvelous grombelness?

With all

Due respect, sir

Krumm and I went to a

Great deal of trouble

To retrieve

Ickis' manual.

You're

Absolutely right.

You did go

To a lot of trouble.

In fact, you did

So much more.

You did

Another student's assignment!

[Teeth chattering]

Welcome

To snorch's chamber

A festival

Of arcane amusements.

Keep your arms

And hands and eyes

Inside of the chamber

At all times.

We hope you have

A completely

Miserable stay here.

And please, tell your friends.

Not the horns.

That means only one thing.

He's going to

Sing soprano.

[Guttural bellowing]

Ah, sweet misery of life [guttural bellowing]

Surround

[Guttural bellowing]

You

[Screaming]

[Snorch bellowing,

Zimbo singing off-key]

[Screaming,

Bellowing, singing]

No more, no more!

Encore?

Did you say "encore"?

[Snorch bellowing,

Zimbo singing off-key]

Ah, sweet misery of life

Surrounds you ♪

Zimbo:

They loved this

In my music class.

[Bellowing, singing]

Krumm:

No more, no more!

Zimbo:

Encore?

Did you say "encore"?

I have all my music with me.

Monsters:

Yowl!

Zimbo:

Hee, hee, hee.