02x04 - Tree of Hearts/Dag for Night

[bunniefuu]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

( Birds twittering )

( Squawk )

Norbert:
hmm... Junk, junk, junk.

Hey! Daggett, look at this.

Richard horvitz had
a little baby boy april 11th.

Ooh!

"Jake eliot horvitz."

Wow, that's great!

Yeah, I think so.

Who's richard horvitz?

Nobody.

Ee... Dag!

I just got
the bestest news!

Treeflower
is coming to visit.

Ee...

We got to get ready.

Clean the dam,
stuff the jalapenos.

Whip up a fresh batch
of instant wood.

I knew she'd come back.

How could she resist?

Treeflower!

Norb...
It's so good to see you.

It's g... Reat to see
you, but you look so...

Different?

Well, sort of.

Are you still in the...

Rock band?

No.

I write elevator music now.

I'm doing a solo tour
of shopping malls...

I shop all the time.

Dental offices...

I have bicuspids.

And, of course...

Open-air
music festivals.

No. Elevators, silly.

I use them all the time.

I brought one with me.

Want to hear my latest?

Do I have to?

Okay.

( Bell dings )

( Generic elevator music )

Ooh, the... Mm...
Kind of, um...

This... This is very...

Easy on the ears?

Exactly.

Oh, norb...

It's so good
to see you again.

You know how it is
when you meet someone special

And you just... Click?

Oh... Yeah...

( Truck horn blaring )

Well, here's
that special someone now.

( Bell dings )

Ee...!

( Honks horn )

Hey... Uh, come on, treeflower,
we got to go.

Oh, norb...
Isn't he the mostest?

So confident
and self-assured.

And he drives
the coolest truck.

I'm going to help him
wax his fenders.

Yeah, but, uh,
what about...?

See you later, norb.

( Honks horn )

Ee...

Ee...

( Grunts )

Hey, what's that
spooty spoothead

King of the spoot
stupid spoot guy doing here?

Stealing...
My... Treeflower!

She's going to help him
wax his truck!

( Sobbing )

That's stupid.

( Wailing )

What the...?

Hey, hey, hey,
that paddle-eared

Puddle-splashing punk,
brother?

Guh-huh...

No way!

You'll get her back
easy-peasy!

You know, you're probably right.

I am a pretty dynamic
individual!

Very dynamic!

But...
What about spoothead?

Ooh... Don't you worry
about him.

( Laughing )

( Honking horn )

Uh, so, uh, first, uh

First, we got to
get some wax, yeah.

( Giggles )

Sure thing, snookums.

Uh... Yeah, yeah, right.

Whatever, uh...

Hey, uh,
what do you know?

Free truck wax
and balloons.

( Laughs ) my favorite.

I'll take the free wax,
hold the balloons.

No, you hold the balloons!

What the...?!

Man:
how long you been
seeing this guy?

Woman:
a day.

I got truckee back.

Now you can get
your girlfriend back.

First I have
to get her attention.

Easy-peasy, so easy.

Just do whatever you do

When you want my attention.

Hey, great idea, dag!

Thank you.

I'll just ignore her!

( Laughs )

Eh? Really?

That's how you get
my attention?

Norb? Norb?

Hey, I asked you
a question, norb.

Are you ignoring me?

Hey, norb! Talk to me!

( Whining ):
talk to me!

Norb, I'm glad
I ran into you.

Norb?

Aloof snort.

Come on, norb,
I have to talk to you.

It's important.

Please?

Okay, treeflower,
I shall ignore you
no longer.

Spill your
lovesick heart to me

Your true one and only.

I can't find ruckee.

Have you seen him?

No.

Oh. Okay.

Then I'll see you later.

Great.

Eh? Ah!

( Screeching and yelling... )

Truckee:
and don't try that again,
me buckaroo!

( Gasping and moaning )

Winning back someone
like treeflower

Requires a
sophisticated approach.

This time
I'm going to make her jealous!

As soon as I can find
another girlfriend.

Eh?

Hold that
girlfriend thought.

I'll be right back
tout de suite.

( Clattering )

( Banging and yelling... )

Meet-- boom-chucka-boom--
tina the timber girl!

Hey, there, big fella.

Norb guy.

Ee!

Get it off me!

I meant
a real girlfriend.

Treeflower:
norb...

I, um... Hey, treeflower.

Oh, norb...
Such smooth skin.

I was just here

With my, um...

( Laughs nervously )

My new girlfriend,
tina.

Hope you're not jealous.

Treeflower:
no, of course not.

Nice to meet you, tina.

Ee...

So, tina, how long
have you known norb?

Oh, uh... ( Stammering )

Isn't he such a sweety-eaty,
norbie-orbie, oopy-poopy?

Uh, yeah, tina,
footy-ooty-tooty-spoot.

( Grunts )

But, norbie

Pooty-pooty-pooty

You're so cute!

( Quietly ):
quit it, dag.

Such muscles.

Oh, that's so sweet.

Kind of reminds me
of me and truckee.

That cute
little shrew.

I wish I could find him.

I miss him so much.

Well, brother,
things could always be worse...

Norbie,
nooby-fooby-fooby.

Heh?

That spoot-spooty-spootish
jerk!

What's she see in him?

What's he's got
that you don't have got?

Uh... Big ears?

Well, yeah.

Skinny tail?

That, too.

Bad... Attitude?

Ooh.

Of course!

Of course what?

If she wants
a cute little shrew

I'll give her
a cute little shrew.

Whatever.

So long as the real shrew
is toodle-oo.

( Honking horn... )

Safety inspector!

Got to check your cargo!

Cargo?

I don't got no cargo.

I just drive the big rig
because it's cool.

Hmm... What's that
over thar?

Thar? Whar?

Tout a l'heure.

Truckee:
hey, get me out of har!

Uh, here!

Let me out!

( Honks horn )

Hey, beaver lady!

I am a cool truck-driving shrew.

Want to ride in my truck?

Norb!

Why are you
impersonating a shrew?

Um...

I thought you were
my friend, norb.

I can't believe you'd try
to trick me like this.

( Growling )

Ee...

Truckee!

I've been looking
all over for you!

Is our date still on?

Uh... Whoa, whoa, wait
a minute... What date?

I think you got the wrong idea
there before, uh, beaver lady.

I just wanted someone
to help me wax my fender.

But I thought...

Oh, there's
only one gal for me.

Big renee!

( Kisses )

Oh, no, you don't.

( Honks horn )

What... What was I thinking?

Is his some kind of fixture?

I thougt I could win you back
by dressing up like ashrew

Or making you jealous
of a silly puppet.

You mean tina?

Mm-hmm.

And you know, the funny thing
is, I actually was

Kind of jealous of her.

( Giggles )

You know, no matter
what happens, norb...

I'll always be your friend.

Same here, treeflower.

Same here.

( Squawk )

( Humming... )

So, she dumped
you again?

Nah, she didn't dump me.

Yes, she did.

She didn't dump me!

Hey, I bit
a tire for you!

You got a tire
in your mouth!

Yeah, it's a choice!

Why don't you go
take a long walk

With tina
the little puppet girl.

Shut up...!

( Frog croaking )

( Grunting )

Oh, boy, oh, boy.

We find the coolest stuff
in our pond.

Yow!

( Panting )

It won't open.

Allow me, brother.

There we go.

( Dramatic organ music plays )

Wow! Wow!

Movie-making thingies.

And a movie.

Let's check it out.

Dag...

Get the lights.

Eh?

Oh, yeah.

( Organ plays )

Roll 'em!

( No audio )

Norbert:
do you know what
this means, dag?

Oh, yeah!

It's the not-so-
friendly creature

From the off-white puddle
who will eat you.

( Gasps )

This is the legendary lost film
of our most favorite actoire...

Hmm.

Oxnard montalvo.

You mean...?

♪ Bum-bum-bum! ♪

Yes!
It was never finished

And disappeared without a trace.

Do you know what
this means, dag?

♪ Bum-bum-bum! ♪

That's right.

It is our duty
as movie-loving beavoires

And as faithful
members

Of the oxnard montalvo
fan club

To finish this "muvie."

( Crashing )

Wait a second.

You don't know
how to make a movie.

How hard can it be?

( Organ plays )

( Organ plays )

I'll be the directoire

And you... You'll
do everything else.

Really?

Great.

Hey, I want to be
the directoire.

You don't want to be
the directoire, dag.

A director has
to sit a lot

And hold his hands up
like this.

Ooh.

Know why they call
these riding pants?

Because they ride up
on you.

Ooh, itchy-twitchy.

Yeah, you're right.

I don't want to be
the directoire.

So what do we do first?

Norbert:
daggoscope, I want you
to build a scary monster

Like the ones in
the big hollywood movies.

You mean like ploptor

The terrible side effect
of corduroy?

No, no, no, no.

Even scarier!

Like zide the shark monster,
part 6

In 3-d, smell-o-round
and htx

At selected theaters
darn close to the armageddon!

( Both laughing )

Again, I say:
"ooh!"

Ooh!

The mighty brain
of daggie-waggie

Is sometimes frightening.

Can you make it move?

Can i?

Ta-da!

My control vest.

( Controls beeping )

( Electricity crackling )

It's alive!

Eh, we'll get the bugs
out of it later.

Daggett:
are you sure this is safe?

Safe enough for you.

Hmm?

Okay.

Barry,
you're the hero.

Ben, you're
the professor.

And, stump, you're the
corrupt industrialist.

You guys all know
what to do, right?

( In french ):
action.

( Slow, barry white-type
voice ):
oh, my...

It's going to crash into us.

Save yourselves.

Cue special effects.

Daggett:
oof-ay.

Why do I have to do
special effects?

I want barry's job.

Acting doesn't hurt.

Sure thing.

Barry,
you're fired.

Barry:
oh, baby.

Norbert:
take two.

And action.

Oh, my!

It's going to crash into...

Us save yourselves.

Poo!

Oof-ay!

( Coughs )

You were supposed
to yell "cut"

Before it hit me.

Come on, dag, you know
all the best actors

Do their own stunts.

Acting stinks.

Your acting stinks.

Hmm.

Perfect.

Okay, barry,
this time with...

♪ Feeling. ♪

And action.

Oh, my...

It's going to crash into us.

Save yourselves.

Daggett:
ee!

Ee.

Movie-making hurts.

I quit.

Daggett, you can't quit.

Our hero,
oxnard montalvo--

Remember what he said,
daggett?

"Please don't suck my brain
out through my spine."

Yes, and then
what did he say?

"I'll never give up!"

That's the
spirit, dag!

I knew you'd come around.

Oxnard would be so proud.

( Giggling )

Okay.
But this tie

I'm going to be
the directoire.

I don't care how much
the pants ride up on me.

I may even enjoy it.

A-hem!

Lights!

And, um...

Camera.

Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!

( Grunts )

Action...

( Engine starts )

Dag?

I give up.

Okay, give up, dag,
we're done.

Done?

Some of your injuries

May never heal properly

But we will always
have made our muvie.

The greatest muvie
ever made.

Say with me, daggett:

"The greatest muvie
ever made"!

That's a muvie?

You'll see.

( Yawning ):
this is boring.

Let's watch
our movie again.

I thought
it was a "muvie."

I never said that.

( Howling )

( Cackles )

Norbert:
beaver brothers studios
presents

The not so friendly creature

From the off-white puddle
who will

Eat you.

( Toilet flushes )

Hello?

Hello?

I'm professor theorem.

I'm looking
for a monster.

Have you seen
a monster? Hmm?

No, baby.

What about you, stump...
Um, joe?

We can argue
politics later, joe.

We got us
a monster to find.

( Professor screams )

Daggett:
somebody stop him.

The monster
is destroying my model...

Train set.

( Clacks )

They have come from space
to rescue their comrade.

Oh, my...
Oh, my...

It's going to crash into us.

( Screams )

Wow...

That was close.

( Horse neighs )

Oh, uh, quick.

Use the ion electric
transducer

Wave-motion nonviolent
w*apon thingy.

( Horse snorts )

Hooray, the monster
is vanquished.

( g*nsh*t )

The whole world
can rejoice now, baby.

Oh, no, the ion
electric transducer

Wave-motion nonviolent
w*apon thingy

Has ignited the atmosphere.

We are all doom-ed.

( Woman screams )

Ah, the price of technology.

Daggett:
ouch.

Norbert:
the end?

It just gets better

Every time I watch it.

The only problem
is that

The monster
looks too fakey.

What?!

It's a work of
pure geniusness.

( Scoffs )

It's the greatest film
ever made.

One day, oxnard montalvo himself

Will come knocking on our door

To thank us and...

( Door knocker sounds )

There he is now.

Hello?

( Screaming )

( Thudding
footsteps )

( Screaming )

( Thudding )

( Christopher walken-type
voice ):
I just wanted
to thank you so much

For finding
my motion picture equipment

And my home movies, right?

I assumed that
it had all washed away

Never to be seen again.

I'm blown away.

I don't know how to thank you.

We found, not stole,
chest, wet, uh...

Don't mention it.

Right.

Um, now if you'll forgive me,
okay?

My new girlfriend is waiting.

Both:
huh?

( Engine starts )

( Tires squealing )