02x07 - Utter Nonsense/Endangered Species

[bunniefuu]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

( Bugs buzzing )

( Frogs croaking )

Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

Now, you're sure
you heard the guy right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

The guy
on the radio said

If have a collection
of "pluto invades

Andeveryone runs around
screaming" cards

Check for the rare, special
collector's edition card.

It's worth oodles
and oodles.

The guy said oodles?

Oh, sure, the word may not
have had those letters

Or sounded like that,
but it was definitely "oodles."

Mm-hmm.

Of course, ince
my stacky-wacky

Is bigger-er than yours...

My chane o having
a card wort oodles

Is mucho greator-o
than my brother-o's.

Hee-hee, and again
hee.

( Softly ):
think so?

I'm still hee-heeing.

Yes, you are.

( Bull rattles and bellows )

Eh!

Whoa!

Ooh! Ah! And, uh, why?

That's it,
hee-hee boy.

Don't be afraid.

Intercom:
good morning, mr. N.
Destination?

Research, please,
trixie.

Yes, sir.

Ey, ah, ooh, ah-ah, you.
Eeh and... ( Blubbering )

How?

Exactly.

Research level, sir.

Thanks, kitten.

We found what you've
been looking for, sir.

Thanks, max.

Don't go
changin' now.

( Machines buzzing )

Take, uh,
take us... You done?

Yeah.

Take us topside,
trixie.

Yes sir, mr. N.

Okay.

Watch your head, hee-hee boy.

Heh!

( Elevator bell rings )

Eh, ah, elevator, uh....

Max? Uh, trixie?

Uh-uh, kitten, thanks.

Eeh-ooh.

Hey,
dagie-waggie!

Come here!

Okay, hee-hee boy.

Where's your card, hmm?

Uh... Uh...

Let's see it.

Come on,
bring it out.

( Gasping )

( Chortling )

Both:
h-ha! Got mine first!

The evil plutonium
bad guy lets loose

Vermin-infected mucus
of integalactic loogies!

Hey! We said the same thing
at the same time.

Posilute-o, you know
what that means.

One, two, three...

We said something
at once

So, I jinx you!

Jinx me?! What jinxing?

Well, the first beaver
who talks

Gts a mogy-pinch!

A moogy-pinch?

Wha's that?

Yow!

Moo-oo-gy!

You talked first.

Hey! Talk fir...

Talked first again.

Yw!

( Honks )

Mo-oo-gy!

Yow!

Moogy!

( Yelps )

Hey! Hey!

No fair! Wait!

Time out!

Beaver's a*,
hold it.

Waity, waity,
wouldja?

Would it? Wold it?

For the sake of george zuko's
navel lint, wait!

Let's start over.

Why? I won.

It wasn't fair.

Play fair,
like brothers.

Why play fair
like brothers should?

Because I'm your only brothr

And you love me,
do anything for me.

And i...
Okay. Okay!
Okay! Stop!

( Whimpers )

Don't make me throw up
all over our cards.

Ooh, goody-goody goombas!

All right,
here's the scoop.

Ye-ye-yes!

Whoevr talks first--

Makes the slightest
peep of a word--
peep.

Gets the ultima,
mega-biggy

Way past the point
of good taste

Languid, lurid,
lanolin-enriched
moogy-pinch!

Ooh!
( Laughing )

Couldn't we wait
until the end of th day

Whe th game ends,
then talk all we want?

Do you want
to play or not?

Allright!
I was just asing.
Jeez!

It's just te
first beaver who alks

Gets the big pinch.

Capisce?

Hasta.

Huh? Here we go.

One...

Two...

Three...

G! Go!

( Flushing )

With the splishy-splash
of all this water

I can talk to myself out loud
and dag will never know.

Playing games with him
is such a non-challenge.

Since I always seem to b*at
my gullible little brother

At the games we play

I bet I can make
daggie-bo-baggie

Blubber first.

( Laughing )

Oh, sometimes I just marvel
at the way I think.

( Water gurgling )

And... Sometimes I don't.
( Burps )

Daggett:
since norbert always seems
to b*at me

I've just got to get him
to blab first

Even though I just spoke
when I wasn't supposed to.

Hey, that means I lose.

Wait a second.

It's me I'm talking to.

I've only lost
to me, not to norbie.

Drat.

( Yelling... )

( Screaming... )

( Thump )

( No audio )

( Norbert thinking ):
I've got t!

Call up daggi
on the old telephone-ya

And when he answers...

( Daggett thinking ):
norbie will say hello

And, bingo! I win!

( Busy signal beeping )

( Busy signal beeps again )

( Busy signal )

( Busy signal )

( Busy signal continues )

Operator:
we're sorry, your call

Cannot be completed as dialed.

Please check the number
and dial again.

One bowl of not-so-warm
oakmeal.

And one bottle of oh-so-hot
hot sauce

Your mouth will scream
with joy.

That's what I want to see.

Dag's mouth screaming
with joy

And then screaming again
when I moogy him.

( Sniffing )

( Sucking finger )

( Gulping )

( Panting )

( Faucet squeaking )

( Shower running )

( Faucet squeaking )

"Rrivederci hair baby."

Oh, dear.

I could have sworn
it was a bottle of shampoo.

Heh-heh-heh.

This s nrb's
favorit song.

Once he hears it

He'll sing it

For sure.

( Music skips )

Hey, you stupid thing.

Stupid eight-track!

He was about...

( Music warps and continues )

Daggett:
I've... Got... An... Idea.

( Grunting )

I hd to listen to numb booger

And play this, this,
this numb-boogery game.

( Thump )

One nice thing about this game

Is for once
I don't have to listen to him.

So there. Eh!

Norbert ( on tape ):
daggett, prepare to be defeated.

Thanks to my collection
of old eight-tracks

You hear me correctly.

Puny, little doorstop.

Beaver, I can not speak forever

And you are not or
to stop me...

Unable, I mean.

Ha-ha-ha.

Forget any feeble attempt
to fight back.

There... Is...
No place... To run.

Cannot you view
that I have won

And you are pre-registered.

Lost.

What's this?

Now we'll see who speaks first.

We'll see now!

How will we see...

( f*ring tapes )

Two can play... That tape.

This is it, then.

Open seven days,
including sunday.

( Sizzling )

( Loud expl*si*n )

( Rumbling continues )

( Birds twitter )

Dag's "pluto invades" card.

Ooh! Norb's
"pluto invades" card.

No!
No!

Both:
one, two, three!

We said something
at the same time

So I jinx you!

You spoke first!

You lose!

Moogy!

Ow!

You lose.

No! You lose!

Moogy!

( Birds chirping )

( Machinery humming )

Daggett:
scoff! Scoff!

These guys call
themselves builders.

Need a kleenex?

Beavers are
nature's builders.

I could build this in no time.

Whatever you say.

Better give them
a few pointers.

A few pointers?

( Grunting )

( Snorting )

Only pathetic persons

Without natural
construction skilledness

Use protective

( Crashing )
headgear.

Okay, people, listen up.

Watch a master and learn.

( Snickering )

Hey.

( Groaning )

( Screaming )

Ee-hee!

( Squeals )

( Crackling )

( Gasping )

( Alarm ringing )

Scram!

( Alarm continues to ring )

Looks like the master picked up
a pointer himself.

( Laughing )

( Snorts )

( Laughing )

Does the lumpy-wumpy
hurty-wurty, daggie-waggie?

One of these days
I'll lumpy-wumpy you

Mr. Thinks-
he's-so-smarty.

Yeah, bumphead?

Yeah, yeah.

Tell it to the porta-potty
following us.

And that goes for you

Mr. Thinks-he's-so-smarty
porta-potty.

Ee... That's all.

Drat, our cover's blown.

Our goose is cooked.

The jig is up.

Cat's out of the bag.

Fat's in the fire.

Catfish are jumpin'.

The cotton is high.

Hey, it's those
sciency guys

Who turn up
every so often.

Boo. We're environmental
scientists now.

See? Green coats.

We're here to protect

A rare endangered species

The last of the great horned
beavers.

Ooh, how impressive.

Where is he?

Right here--
you am him.

I are?

Yes.

And we must protect her.

Just think, we may even get
one of those nobel...

Uh... Prize thingies for this.

Great leaping sacks
of dog poo-poo

This is the biggest beaver horn
I've ever seen.

Thank you.

Wait a minute!

He's not a great horned
anything.

He's just
a stoopie-poopie beaver

Who brained himself
operating heavy equipment

And I'm taking him home.

Sorry. Can't let
you do that.

He's under our
protection now.

( Cackles )
pete?

( Beeps )

( Screams )

Wow, cool.

Daggett:
hey, how's it going

Common, ordinary,
unendangered brother of mine

Did the shocky-wocky hurty-wurty
norbie-worbie?

Knock it off and get these
science geeks out of our dam.

Oh, help!

The very endangered
great horned beaver

Is being threatened!

( Norbert yelps )

( Snorting ):
you're losing control

Of something there.

I don't know what it is

But it smells.

( Strained voice ):
shut up.

Great horned... Ph...

Beaver
nature p-p-preserve?

That's right,
my flat-skulled brother.

Nonny-nonny-nonny.

You can't touch me.

( Growling )

( Southern belle accent ):
help. Help.

I'm being threatened.

( Electrons warbling )

( Screaming )

( Giggles )

I love being endangered.

I do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

Ouchy. I gave myself a boo-boo.

A boo-boo?

Daggett:
hey, what the...?!

Don't worry.

Nothing will hurt you
ever again.

I want that nobel prize thingy.

Pete, it's time
for total protection.

( Blasting )

( Exploding )

The last of the great
horned beavers

Is too important
to take any chances.

Okay.

( Air hissing )

Psst.

Huh?

Well, well, well, if it isn't
the great horned booger.

You're mad at me, huh?

( Softly ):
I'm not mad.

I'm livid!

Guess this wouldn't be
a good time

To beg for your help

Because being an endangered
species isn't fun anymore.

Nnnno... No.

( Siren blaring... )

Tv announcer:
hi-dee-ho, nature fans

And welcome to a very special
wild life shenanigans.

Tonight's show is about
the pathetic plight

Of the last
of the great horned beavers.

Discovered by scientists
number one and pete

This little fellow is
the last of his kind n earth.

There may be others in space,
but we don't know yet.

So where this pathetic
creature's safety

Is in question...

( Blasting )

...nothing is left to chance.

Doesn't look like much fun

But then, science
almost never is.

( Announcer chuckling )

Seems real sorry.

Wish I could read what he wrote.

"I miss you, norb.

Please number four give me."

Oh...

Oh, darn it!

He may be a half-wit,
but he's my half-wit.

I'm coming, daggie boy!

Psst.

Psst.

Norbie!

Daggie!

Mommy.
( Blasters sizzling )

( Norbert screaming )

Oh!

Eeee!

Unh...

Eh-eh.

Ooh!

"To the last of
the great horned beavois

From a friend."

Hmm, better investigate.

Ah, the new miracle
hornswoggler.

"Swoggles horns in seconds.

A must for any endangered
horned animal."

What will those household-thingy
scientists think of next?

( Chuckling )

How do you think
this works, pete?

( Whispering ):
now to get daggie-poo.

"To: the pointy weasel sneaking
around in the packing foam."

Hmm.

( Beep )

( Screaming )

( Thumps )

( Grunts )

( Shivers )

Daggolini, I know
you're in trouble

But if I keep trying to help you

I'll be a ( raspberry )
endangered species myself.

Wait a minute!

Muse, muse...
An endangered speies myself!

Hey.

( Pounding )

( Feet pitter-pattering )

What in the name of faith
demurge's paisley culottes

Is this freakish
creature, pete?

Culottes, hmm?

Allow me
to introduce myself.

I am the last of
the great many-horned beavers.

Last of the great
many-horned beavers?

Mmm... He has
many horns

And thi oter guy
oly as one.

Therefore, he mus
be more important.

( Cackling )

( Still cackling )

That's what we sciency guys
call deductive logicky stuff.

Okay, pal, out of the bubble.

You're yesterday's coffee.

There's a new beaver in town.

( Chuckles )

Oops.

( Beep )

Wait!

Don't do it!

Say, this other beaver
was right all along.

He was just a droopy-poopy
ordinary beaver

With a bump on his head.

If we were ordinary people,
we'd owe you an apology.

But being a scientist is never
having to say you're sorry.

Toodles.

( Cackling )

( Birds chirping )

( Groaning )

That's it?

You're just going to
let them walk away?

No, my former
scientific-oddity brother.

We're going to
let them fly away.

( Handles squeaking )

( Wind whooshing )

Ohh... I... ( Mumbling ).

But they're still
getting away.

So it would seem.

However...

It's getting larger.

Well, I'm glad that's over.

Norbert:
not quite.

( Squeaking and rumbling )

Eh.

( Daggett shrieking )

( Norbert cackling )