02x10 - The Day the Earth Got Really Screwed Up

[bunniefuu]

On october 30 of last year,
the day before halloween

Our reality as we know it
was invaded by an object

From another dimension--

An object
from another dimension

That feeds
like an intergalactic moth

Upon the very fabrics
of time and space.

What is that?

( Shrieks )

Yes, master.

[Captioning sponsored by the
u.s. Department of education

And nickelodeon]

( Man laughing hysterically,
dispatcher talking on radio )

No, no, really.

They wee beavers
tricking-or-treating

On the... On the wrong day.

( Laughing hysterically )

( Engine starts )

This is so stupid.

This is stupider
than stupid.

You know, this is
stupider than you.

Being oxnard
montalvo is no fun

If you're going
to be made fun of!

Look, norby,
go with me on this.

Okay, norbutt?

Think about it.

We trick-or-treat

The day before halloween.

There's tons of candy!

All kinds of candy
and no competition.

Genius, huh?

Yeah, right,
mr. Crawling spleeny-weeny.

W-w-wait, norby.

( Babbles teasingly )

I promise--
I promise to quit

If the very next house

Doesn't turn out to be
more than we expected.

The next house?

El casa proximo.

( Owl hooting )

Norbert:
huh woldn't you know it.

The next house is
the spookiest place
in the neighborhood.

Aah, it's
just a house.

Dag, dag, look! Oh!

What, what, what?

Ow!

Whoa!
Yeah!

Both:
oxnard montalvo!

Do you now
what this means?

Uh, we know how
to read addresses?

It means you might
get your candy and...

( Scatting ):
buh, buh, buh.

The autograph
of our favorite
b-movie actor--

Oxnard montalvo.

Ooh, yeah, baby.

Zin!

Whee!

Daggett:
we'll seaky-weaky

Right into old oxy's
flashy-looking domicile.

Norbert:
get the goods.

And no one will
be the wiser.

Espcially you.

Heh.

( In sing-song ):
hello.

Anyone there in the dark?

Trick-or-treaty,
mr. Montalvo.

We're coming in
for the candy.

( Gasps )

( Yelps )

Oh, look, norb,
it's the slime beast

From the evil
of ark pool!

Remember him?

Remember him,
huh, huh, huh?

He was creepy-osky.

They look so real.

( Grumbles )

And up there...

It's kilo,
the serpentine.

( Both howl and groan )

He looks like
he can come to life

And fly rigt
out of here.

( Screeching )

( Both gasp )

Norbert:
wow! Look at this one.

Claws of the
immortal golan.

I think this is

The only
montalvo film

We've never seen.

It's hard
to imagine.

Imagine what?

Skip it.

Voice:
welcome to the home
of oxnard montalvo.

I am his
manservant--

Mann servante.

How may I help you?

Got any candy?

Don't be
so subtle, dag.

I'm afraid I don't understand.

Master:
I've never felt
such feelings of reality.

Such powers must be mine.

Yes, all powerful one.

Don't mind my brother.

Actually,
we were wondering

If we could maybe,
possibly, maybe

Meet the bestest actor
in the whole world--

Mr. Oxnard montalvo!

( Laughing )

Stupid mask.

Oh, come on,
let me help you.

Norbert:
no, no, dag.

Leave it--
it's all right.

Come on!

My eyelid!

( Arguing and shouting )

( Arguing and shouting
continues )

Maybe I can help.

Thanks. Candy.

Ooh, sorry
about that.

That's it,
forget this thing!

B-b-b-but what
about the candy?

( Babbling )

You need a costume
to get candy.

You also need
a trik-or-treat bag

Mr. Spleener,
wiener-head.

Hey, that's right.

That's right.

Where's
my candy bag?

And where's
the candy?

Did you say "candy"?

Candy!

Woman:
but what's causing it, oxnard?

Man:
if anyone can deal
with this strange phenomenon

Oxnard can--
right, lad?

With a little luck

And things going
in our favor

We'll find out
something, doc.

( Gasps ):
it's him.

It's really oxnard

( Quavering ):
montalvo.

Hey, dag,com hee-- quick.

That wiener-head didn't leave me
one bit of candy...

Oxnard montalvo!

( Muttering )

( Grunting )

( Shrieks )

( Glass shatters )

Oxnard, look.

Amazing-- little pointy animals.

And they're coming
this way.

Through me, the master
brings you to life.

Destroy
the human infidels.

Destroy them
until they're dead

But bring the little,
pointy creatures to me.

The master
demands it.

What do you
two creatures want?

( Babbles )

W-w-we came here
for a special reason.

Right, dagsky?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Eek!

Doc:
it's fantastic.

A mere statue,
alive and walking.

Careful, everyone.

Stand back.

If this thing goes
on a rampage

Someone could get hurt.

( Gasps )

Daggett:
oh!

Scared, dag?

Nope... Standing
on... My tail.

( Yelping )

Look out, the little fellow's
gone berserk.

Or maybe not.

Oxnard, the little
creature did it.

( Panting )

His bravery
was the only thing

Standing between us
and destruction.

Thank you, strange
little pointy thing.

I'm a beaver.

You're kidding.

He is kidding,
right?

'Fraid not,
dr. Giggles.

We're u.s. Grade "a"
all-beef beavers.

Well, whatever you are

We're all in the middle
of a big pickle.

What kind
of pickle, doc?

Doc:
picture the
largest gherkin

You've ever seen.

Hmm.

Then magnify it a thousand-fold.

( Shrieks )

That's a...
Big pickle.

Doc:
if I could get
everyone's attention

Over here for a few moments

I'd like to show
you a short film
I put together.

Doc:
not long ago rip in time
released

A dimensinal being
into our world.

It crashed here on earth,
I believe

To feed upon our reality.

Feed on reality?

Is that possible?

Remember, toluca,
anything's possible...

If it happens.

Doc:
if my calculations are correct

This alien object has crashed
right here

Smashed into the hillside
underneath this house.

It already has begun to feed

On my thoughts,
oxnard's and toluca's thoughts.

Even these little fellows

May have fallen victim
to this alien

And not know it.

You mean anyone
with an imagination and using it

Could be making this...
This alien stronger?

Oxnard, I'm afraid

Your manservant may have
already gone over.

Shh.

Someone must
be remembering

The monsters
from my films

And the alien is bringing
their memories...

Hey, you two... Stop!

Wait!

Master:
I can feel the strength
of all their realities

Beginning to course
through my being

Making me larger,
making me stronger.

The alien is becoming larger,
becoming stronger.

( Screeches )

( Shrieks )

( Hisses )

( Monster seething )

( Shrieking )

( Growling, groaning )

Both:
mommy!

( Growling )

( Screaming )

( Both screaming )

Toluca, run for it!

( Loud thud )

Montalvo:
the doc and I will
hold them off

As long as we can...
Hold them.

( Both screaming )

( Growls )

Norbert:
over here...

( Norbert muttering )

( Creature growling )

( Crash )

( Montalvo cries out )

Get busy, doc!

I don't know how much longer
I can keep this up.

( Loud crash )

( Electricity crackling )

( Bones clanking )

( Growling )

Missed.

Maybe we can reason with them.

I'm speaking the only
language a monster
understands, doc--

Fist talk!

( Loud cr*ck )

( Thud )

Right.

To order parts

I need a valid driver's license

And a credit card? Gotcha.

Oh!

My ankle.

You okay?

I'll be all right.

( Screams )

There's the crawling spleen!

Let's go.

Oh!

( Thud )

My other ankle.

( Beavers struggling )

There you go.

Jeez, louise.

Oh!

( Thud )

Both my ankles!

( Daggett grumbling )

Why don't we just cut
the darn things off?

Can we go now?!

Buzz off, spoot wad!

We're free!

( Both laughing )

Yeah, baby.

( Strange screeching )

Look!

It's kilo.

( Norbert and
daggett screaming )

That was close!

As usual...

( Gulps )

Your brilliance
is blinding.

Thank you.

Mann servante.

Toluca lake.

Why are these
imaginary creatures

Suddenly coming

To life?

We have your
small friends

To thank for that.

I wondered when
they would get
back to us.

That's t, always
blame the rodents.

The master is feeding off
their vivid imaginations

Feeding and growing,
becoming ever more powerful.

I'm becoming ever more powerful!

Both:
what?

I'm becoming
ever more powerful!

Both:
oh.

Like myself

You all shall become one
with the master.

You will make him all-powerful.

You will make him...

What the...?

Toluca:
let's go!

Come back!

The master commands it!

What's going on up there?

Mama mia!

That's the mother jerk!

Toluca!

( Crash )

Lovey lumps!

Huggy booger!

Another moment
and it would have been...

Later.

( Loud crash )

Enough.

Oh, no, not
this guy again.

Watch
his eyes.

This dude's
wacky.

Servante!

My master is absorbing realities
from all worlds

In order to conquer
the universe.

( Laughing repetitively )

This guy's like a broken record.

It means you and your
brother, if absorbed

Will be trapped
for all time

In a dimensional
reality of madness.

Is that an icky thing?

Oh, yeah!

Quickly, oxnard--

Hit him with
the mindulator thingy.

All right, servante...
Servant... Whoever you are.

( Mindulator pulsating )

( Pulsating increases )

Take this!

( Groaning )

It works!

Congratulations, doc.

You did it.

Me? You're the one
who knew how to use it.

Is it just me

Or was that the
stupidest thing
we've ever seen?!

Ours is not
to reason why.

Toluca:
oxnard, doctor-- look.

The manulator returned
mind back to normal.

What?

I... I mean...

I have a little film
I'd like to show everyone

To explain exactly...

Oxnard, the mindulator...

We've lost it!

I know where it is.

We can only pray

Our pointy friends have
the knowledge to use it

And the strength to throw it.

Roobie doobie!

That was nuts!

Looky, looky!

It's the mindulator

Kabobby thingy.

Master:
nothing can stop me!

Guess again,
spoot butt.

Oh, yeah.

( Mindulator pulsating )

( Beeping )

Oxnard, we're getting a reading

That your house is a hot spot
for extra-terrestrial activity.

Now, whats going on up there?

General, my house has become
a hotspot

For extra-terrestrial activity.

Sounds serious.

Call out the m*llitary, general.

We'regoing to need
every w*apon you've got.

Leave it to us, montalvo.

The m*llitary has no qualms about
fighting aliens.

This is general warning, I'm
calling an a-1 scramble alert.

Repeat, this is
an a-1 scramble alert.

This is not a drill.

This is not a drill.

If it were a drill,
I'd tell you-- honet.

Nobody messes with
a beaver's reality

And gets away with it!

Yeah, baby!

( Clank )

( Growls )

Master:
flying demon,
protectyour master!

( Squawking )

( g*nf*re )

( Squawking )

Now what do we o?

I don'tknow.

Want to throw it?

Our hero did.

Why not?

We'll make it if
we get through.

( Gasps )

( Norbert grunting )

( Electricity crackling )

No, no!

Say it isn't so!

Wowsers,
look at that!

Mm-hmm...
Very pretty.

Oh, yeah.

Bogey down.

Repeat, bogey down.

sh**t the little...

sh**t litle
mssile thingies at it

And then make it go away.

( Chanting )

( Rubber bands twanging )

( Air-raid sirens blaring )

( m*ssile approaching )

Send in more planes!

Montalvo:
the alien has been destroyed.

How do your ankles feelnow?

They're broken,
but they're better.

Montalvo:
the alien from space came here
to feed upon our reality.

In turn...

I think I can answer

That one,
toluca.

Somethingreally bad happened.

Hmm...

The doc's right.

Some bad things happened.

Then other bad things happened.

That explains the alien's power

But what about
your manservant...

Mann... Servaint.

Servante,
tolucka.

Toluca.

Well...

There was no
mann servante.

What?

Dag, I think that's

Your area
of expertise.

Ah, well I have a little film
here that I think will explain.

So there you have it.

Mm-hmm!

It's so fantastic!

Amazing!

Hmm...

M-hmm...

In a nutshell, piece of cake.

And to think they did it
without using their tongues.

Okay, I guess
that just about
wraps it up.

We are out of here!

You got that right,
dr. Dagamunto.

Daggett:
back at you,
norbatito.

Norbert:
oobababo-bee-boo.

Daggett:
goo-goo-ga-ga.

Oh, I love how
it worked out.

Ooh, let's not
ding-dong ditch anymore.

I want the candy, the candy.

You want he candy.

Eh, candy.

And s realit became
reality once again

Thanks to to of nature's

Humblest and densest
semi-aquatic mammls.

Hey!

The alien object had become
a victim of it's own story

A story that made absolutely
no sense.

For instance, if the alien
could bring

The monster statues to life

Through tha manservant guy,
why did it need the beavers?

I mean, beavers can't even talk
and be...

Oh, forget that.

I'm feeling too crawly inside

Too... I'm too sickto think
about this story anymore.

It's a story so inane
and convoluted

That even i, the narrator,
couldn't make

Any sense out of it.

I have the script.

I read it time and time again.

Well, all right, I skimmed it
on the bus on the way over.

But where were the pitures?

You can't read
without pictures.

Nothing.

I sould have been asked
to be paid off in cash.