04x14 - Dagski and Norb/Shell or High Water

[bunniefuu]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

Next up on nick
not at nite, it's
dagski and norb.

In not tonite's
episode #337, "word
on the street"

Dagski and norb
fight bad guys

Which is what
cool cops do.

Nick not at nite--

Preserving
our classic
tee-wee heritage.

( Funky theme playing,
tires squealing... )

♪ Get your head on straight and
keep your eyes on the skies ♪

♪ There's two cool cops in town,
so don't be surprised ♪

♪ It's dagski and norb ♪

♪ Dagski and norb... ♪

Oh, yeah, baby.

♪ Dagski's a fast-driving cat
who never slows down ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Norb's working for the man,
but he still gets around ♪

♪ We can dig it. ♪

I know you could.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah... ♪

Get back, joe friday.

You, too, baretta.

Cool it, kojak.

Move over, mod squad.

You know who's on the scene.

♪ It's dagski and norb ♪

♪ Say it again... ♪

Girls.

♪ Dagski and norb. ♪

And that's the stone-cold truth.

Tonight's episode:

"Word on the street," baby.

Solid.

Yeah.

( Laughing... )

( Yelling... )

Captain:
ah, darn hippie protesters.

Don't they understand?

We're here to protect them.

Got any sevens?

Go fish.

Ah, a couple of real comedians.

Well, I'm getting
real tired of your carp...

( Wet slapping )

( Laughing )

Okay, laugh about this.

( Laughing )

Hey!

Word on the street is

Something big is going down.

Like what?

Like that's what

The people of this city

Are paying you two detectives

To find out!

Now get out here,
the both of you, get out.

Hey, captain.

What?

You don't have to carp about it.

( Growls )

( Laughing )

( Tires squealing )

Hey, dagski, amigo,
how come I never get to drive?

( Grumbling )

Because I'm a much gooder
driver than you, big n.

That's how come.

Are you... Carping?

( Crash, grunts )

Yo, snuggy bear, my man!

What's the word on the street?

What?

You know.

Duh, you know.

Oh, uh... Word on the street is

Something is going down.

What?

Something.

Something?

Something big.

Better hit the street.

Space, peace, righteous.

Later, my brothers.

( Tires squealing )

Ee, uh, ee...

Sure you don't want me to drive,
mario andaggi?

You should be on tv,
you're so funny.

That was just a fluke.

Well, don't look now

But I think we're about
to have another fluke.

( Crash, grunts )

Girl:
oh... Stop it...

Hey, leave me alone.

( Growling )

Hey... Stop it!

Dagski, look.

I can't believe it.

Yeah, that car looks
exactly like mine.

Those guys are big copycats!

Dagski, they're kidnapping
that girl in broad daylight!

That, too.

Let's go, amigo.

♪ Bud-a-bump. ♪

♪ Bud-a-bump. ♪

♪ Bud-a-bump-ba-dump. ♪

♪ Ba-ba-boop-a-doop. ♪

( Squeaking, crashing... )

Ch-ch! Police!

Freeze!

I said freeze!

Assume the position, sleazeball.

Dag:
oy!

Not you, dag.

Oh.

( Kisses )

( Cash register rings )

( Starting engine )

Freeze, sucker!

Dag:
aah...

You're... Not... Freezing!

( Grunting and groaning )

Ooh!

You all right,
amigo?

Yeah, where's
the girl?

No...!

Well, amigo, we just
witnessed two crimes.

( Grunts )

How's that, big n.?

Those barkbags

Just kidnaped
that happening lady

And she just kidnaped...
My heart.

♪ Bud-a-bum-ba-dum. ♪

( Crowd yelling )

Huh?

( Horn honking )

I can see my house
from here!

Darn hippies!

Still don't get it!

You won't believe it.

There's two guys
running around in a car

Just like dagski's
and they've kidnapped

A very happening young lady.

You're right:
I don't believe it.

Something bad
just went down...

And dagski's car was spotted
fleeing the scene.

( Dramatic theme )

Dagski, norb...
I'm going to have to
ask for your badges.

( Dramatic theme )

But, captain,
you got to believe us.

( Slurping )

I wish I could, boys.

I... I wish I could.

( Dramatic theme )

♪ Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh. ♪

What a total bummer
drag bringdown.

How are we going to
help that girl now?

( Laughing )

Oh.

Hey, n., Just because

We're not cops
anymore

Doesn't mean we
can't do our jobs.

Bad guys don't play
by the rules...

Why should we? Huh?

Hippie:
ouch, man.

My hair, man.

Ouch, man,
it hurts.

Dag:
hoo-ah!

Why, jerry, why...
Oof!

( Tires squealing... )

( Grunts )

( Panting )

( Tires squealing... )

( Laughing )

Come to dagski.

Dagski, look out!

Both:
oh, spoot...

( Both sigh )

( Crash, grunting )

I'm beginning not
to like those guys.

Both:
♪ duh-duh-duh,
duh-duh-duh, duh! ♪

Hold it, dagski!

I need to have an
overly dramatic moment.

Oh, right...

( Dag humming )

We'll never catch these bad guys

And save that classy lady.

We got nothing,
you hear me?

Nothing! No clues,
no leads... No chance.

Barry:
yo, dagski, norb...

My men.

♪ Duh-duh-dun! ♪

I got a hot tip.

♪ Duh-duh-dun! ♪

Word on the street is

That big something
that's going down

Is going down now,
right over there.

♪ Dun-dun-dun! ♪

In that deserted warehouse.

♪ Dun-dun-dun... ♪

Always a pleasure doing business

With youse two guys.

Your empty boxes

Are the best empty boxes

This side of the canadian
cardboard fields.

( Laughs )

Police!

Okay, former police
who can still hurt you.

Look out,
they got bear claws!

Let's scram!

( Tires squeal )

Ee, er, uh... Freeze!

Er, ee, what, what?

Like really cold stuff!

Huh?

Nagski and dorb?

But you two guys
are cops.

Solid. But we knew
we could never be
as righteous as you two.

So we decided to
torch your reputation.

Nice plan. I think
the captain might be
interested in hearing it.

What did you do
with the girl?

Girl:
looking for me...
Detective norb?

( Gasps )

You're with them?

This is
for my brother.

You two hotshot
detectives

Arrested him
last month.

He's a good kid

Who just happened
to be around

When something bad
was going down

But that didn't
matter to you.

I'll look into this.

If your brother's in-no-cent

I'll see to it
that he gets every bre-ak.

I promise you.

( Crying ):
I'm not really bad...

I'm just confused.

I know.

( Latching handcuffs )

( expl*si*n )

Well, what
do you know?

( expl*si*n )

Even the hippies

Seem to be
wising up.

Boys, I'm a big enough shrew
to admit when I'm wrong.

( Laughs )

Captain:
yeah.

You two broke up the biggest
empty box smuggling operation

This city has ever seen.

Here's your badges.

Dagski and norb,
you're cops again.

♪ Duh-duh-duh,
duh-duh-duh! ♪

Ho, ho, ho, captain,
something big's going down, bro.

Well, what are you two
waiting for?

I'm not really bad,
I'm just confused.

Let's go, amigo.

But this time,
I get to drive.

Why, I ought to...

Are you... Carping?

( Both laughing )

Both:
♪ wa-da-wa ♪

♪ Wa-da-wa ♪

♪ Wa-da-wa... ♪

( Tires squealing )

Norb:
mmm, what do we have here?

Ooh, mama, take a look
at this one, dag!

Eee... Eee... Not now.

I am creativating.

Problem there, dag lloyd wright?

No, it's fine, norbutt.

My brilliant beaver brain

Will figure out
what's missing any second.

And when's that brilliant
beaver brain of yours

Going to remind you that sand
castles are for baby beavers?

( Gasping )

But, but...

What?

But... You love making
sand castles...

Please, dag,
that is so last week.

Oh, yeah?

Well, shell-collecting

Is something
that smart science guys do

To win nobel price
thingies and stuff.

So there.

Yeah, and, and...

Come on,
bring it.

And you smell!

( Laughs )

Brilliant retort,
my brother.

Ouch.

Baby.

Eh, ah... Spoothead.

Spoothead.

B-aby.

Byab-byab.

Baby beaver!

Byah-byah.

You're just
a baby beaver!

You're a spoothead.

Big old baby.

Baby spoothead.

You're just
a big old baby.

Where's your bottle?

Yeah, well,
you're a smelly spoothead.

Yes, it's just me and my
award-winning terebra maculata.

Oh, yeah? Well...

Cerebral macabra
to you, too.

Dib-dib-dib-dib...
( Chuckles ) hmm?

Aha!

Voila, perfecto.

Voi-la?

Norb:
this gives me an idea.

( Bell dinging )

How about this
for our castle fortress?

( Grunting loudly )

As the guard tower
where we'll keep

The crown jewels.

Hello, and protect them
from lord bob

And his lanced lesion
of skeleton bad guys.

Did you mean legion?

No, I meant lesion.

And, and,
the dray-ded beast

Who comes from
the most fear-ed
place on earth.

Ooh, susanne benton's
hockey culottes.

No... Canada!

Oh, yes... Canada!

Uh, uh...

Ah!

Ah, ah, aah... Ee!

( Gasps )

Oh! A catapult to smite
thine enemy with thy
major smite-iness.

Yeah... Ooh.

And this could be...
Thy ye old, uh...

Hear ye, hear ye...

Thy can round soda top
till I think of something.

Hey, dag!

Over here!

I, dub, dub, dub... Ooh!

Ooh...

Dig the rusty ride.

( Both grunting )

Ouch, oh, blister...
Oh, slipped disk...

What do you think
it should be, norbie?

Let's just get it
out of here first, okay?

Hey, I know what it can be.

Aah...!

( Grunting and groaning )

It's headed
right for the castle!

( Crash )

A mighty fortress

To protect the realm!

Yes, m. Lady,
it's p-erfect.

Uh, not quite.

Huh?

( Imitates horn fanfare )

( Echoes fanfare )

( Continue
imitating fanfare... )

( Still imitating fanfare )

Dag, dag... Dag!

Now it's finished!

Both:
whoo-hoo-hoo! Yee-hoo!

( Continue cheering )

Norbie, this thing
is the coolest.

We got to find a way
to get it back to the dam
so we can have it forever.

Oh, I love
this day.

I love this castle.

I love you.

Daggett, l-look.

( Strange roaring )

Our enemies are upon us!

They be sent
from susanne benton's
hockey culottes!

Canada!

Oh.

( Thunder crashing )

( Dag and norb screaming )

( Gurgling )

( Panting and whimpering )

( Strange roaring... )

( Gasps, whimpers )

Oh...!

No...! ( Grunting )

( Bell tolling )

( Clanking )

I'm thinking susanne benton's
hockey culottes

Is really honked off...

Canada!

Eh? Oh, yeah.

( Both grumbling )

( High-pitched panting... )

Yeah? Oh, yeah?

Come on,
yeah, come on...

( Humming
dramatic music... )

( Panting... )

( Grunting dramatically )

Ee... Ooh... Uh-oh.

Uh, uh... Er...

( High-pitched
grunting )

( High-pitched
grunting )

Ooh, uh...

( Screams )

( Grunting )

( Still humming... )

Come on, come on, let's go.

Feeling groggy? Ha!

Jump, jump, ooh!

( Panting... )

( Grunting
and humming... )

Yeah, go!

Yeah,
daggie!

Go, daggie,
go, baby!
Oh...

Ooh... Eee...

( Laughing )

Uh...

( Muttering
and yelling )

Wha...?

( Yelling )

( Whimpering )

( Screaming )

( Humming dramatic tune )

( Clanking )

( All panting and grunting )

Aah!

( Humming fanfare... )

( Skeleton warriors giggling )

( All gasp )

Norb:
my hero!

( Skeleton warriors scream )

( Grunt, groan )

( Gibbering )

( Roars )

( Roaring... )

( Screaming )

( Gulls cawing )

Great caesar's section!

It's, it's...

Gone.

All that work!

Gone!

We'll have to look

At the bright side.

Gone.

At least I know
you love me.

Eh... Wha...?

Don't think I didn't
hear what you said.

I know it was hard...

Wh-what are you
talking about, norbutt?

On top of the ca-stle...

Yes?

"I love this day..."

"I love you..."
Remember?

No...

Oh, yeah.

I did not, I did not!

Yeah, did too.

I said...
( Muttering with
french accent )

It's french for
"norb smells."

I love you, too, little brother.

Time for

A big hug!

I, i, i...

No!

Why not?

Uh, uh, uh...
I, i, I have a bad spine

And, and... You smell!

Big hug!

Oh, eww, gross!

Triple suplex big hug.

Hey...

Piledriver hug...
Come on!

No, no, no!