04x03 - Canucks Amuck/Yak in the Sack

[bunniefuu]

[Dance music playing]

♪ A-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers ♪

[Norbert]
♪ rigatoni, la tortellini,
buscatuna, peritonitis ♪

[Norbert]
make sure you get yourself good
and clean, senor stanky stink.

I can't see you,
but I sure can smell you.

[Norbert]
whoo-hoo!

♪ Impa-dimpa, empanada ♪

♪ Doopa-doodley-do. ♪

[Sniffs]

[Coughs]

Ah, nothing like good hygiene.

[Hammering and sawing]

[Water draining]

Dag! What did you do?

I was just about to loofah.

I didn't do...
Ooh, what's a loofah?

[Water draining]

Dag, our water!
What?

Geh?

[Gasps]

Eee!!

Uh, eee, uh, hey, norb,
all the water's gone.

Oh, well,
so much for hygiene.

What kind of
fiendish miscreants
would do such a thing?

What's a miscreant?

[Pierre]
hey, hello there, eh?

Yah, hello, eh?

I'm pierre, and this
is my cousin wayne.

We're from canada.

Yeah, I'm wayne and he's pierre.

We're canadian from canada, eh?

Okay, I think
I just said that, eh?

So you don't have to go
saying it again, eh?

Well, okay, then,
you don't have to get
all huffy about it, eh?

Well, whoever you are,

You better get this pile of junk
out of our pond, eh!

It's blocking our water, eh!

That's not junk,
that's our dam.

Yah, we're claiming
this pond for canada.

You can't do that!

This is america!

Oh, yes, we can.

We got our flag and everything.

Eh!

[Belching]

See, canada, eh?

[Gibbering]

Canada?

You can-na-da have our pond.

It's ours-a-da.

Eee, eee...

Hey!

Eee, eee, eee...

Eee, eee, eee...

Hey, cut it out.

Dag, don't do that.
Why?

Because you might start
an ugly international incident.

You know what that's like.

Quit kicking canada, eh?

This is
a delicate situation.

It must be handled vis-a-vis
diplomatic channels.

Observe.

[Air leaking]

Hee?

Gentlemen! As a 100% grade-a
american beaver

I must protest this unlawful
incursion, and request

That you withdraw
your claim post-haste.

Hey, nice hat.

[Laughing]

Yeah, real good hat.

Oh, yeah, sure,
you betcha.

Okay, then,
it's all settled, eh?

See you around, eh?

"Welcome to ca-nah-da."

[Norbert]
canada.

Yeah. "Keep out, eh?"

Well, I'm glad that's over.

No, dag, it's not over.

Aw, geez, it's not?

It's time to start an ugly
international incident.

Oh, goody.

[Pierre and wayne]
whoo...

Ooh, yah!

[Laughing and whooping]

All right, move it.

No, you move.

No, you move it.

No, you move.

Hey, I'm not kidding, eh?

[Music fades up]

I'm not kidding, either.

Okay... I'm going
to fix you...

Take that,
you big galoot.

[Both yelling]

[Norbert]
hey, mullet-head guys!

What the, eh?

We proudly
reclaim this pond

For the good old
u.s. Of america!

Yeah, the old u.s., Eh...

Of america.

A... B... Yeah, eh!

What do you canuckian
whatchamacallit beaver guys

Think of that, eh?
Huh? Eh?

Huh, eh, eh, eh, eh...

[Norbert chuckling]

Whoo!

Okay, that's the way
you want to play it, eh?

[Canadian anthem playing]

Canada, eh?

[American anthem playing]

America!

[Pierre]
canada!

[Norbert]
america!

[Wayne]
canada, eh?

America!

[Pierre]
canada!

[Daggett]
canada!

Dag...
I mean, not canada.

[Pierre]
canada.

Ready for another, dag!

Come on!
[Loud burp]

Dag!

Man-uh-toba.

Saskatchewan.

Sas-patch-a-wan.

[Wayne]
hey, pretty good, eh?

[Pierre]
oh, yah, real good.

[Loud burp]

Try this one, eh?
Nova scotia.

Nova sco... Ooh!

[Grunting]

Dag! What in the name of raymond
burr's roomy boxer shorts
are you doing?

Wayne and pierre were just
teaching me how to speak
canadashy.

You mean canadian.

Ooh, it's a land
of many languages, eh?

You're supposed to be
helping me build the dam!

Nobody can compete
with genuine canadian beavers

When it comes
to building dams, eh?
Oh, yeah?

That's why beavers are
canada's national symbol

Not some
dumb bald bird, eh?

Yah, america doesn't even
like their beavers, eh?

Yah, and we canadians
have a nationalized
healthcare system, eh?

Dag!

Would you quit with your
canadianetic idioticness?

You're american, boy.

Don't you realize
that the very sovereignty

Of the great american beavoir
way of life is at stake here?

Man-i-to-ba.

Sas-szechuan.

Sessa-szechuan.

Hey, what's that?

Secret room.
Oh, cool.

I shall return!

[Bond theme playing]

Ask not what your dam
can do for you

But what you can do
for your dam!

Come on, dag!
Assemble the troops!

This means... Conflict.

Huh?

Well, you can count me out
of your dirty little w*r,
mr. Man... Guy.

Mr. Man...?

I'm going to canadia
so I don't get drafty.
You mean drafted.

Whatever! As they say in the
peace-loving tongue of my new
homeland,

Aloha, tiny bubbles, eh?

Eee...!

[Pierre laughs]
eh?

You're not so tough now,
are you, eh?

Mr. All-alone american.

Why don't you give up
and join us like your
brother, eh?

Yah, you're not so tough

Without your brother, eh?

You big chicken...
Reh-reh-reh.

Hey, that's not what
a chicken sounds like, stupid.

Is, too.

Is not.
You don't know.

Oh, yah?
Yah.

Right now, come ons, eh?

Okay, then, let's go.

Okay...

Come on. Hold it.

Hey! Hey, you!

Come here, you.

I'm going to...

Ah, the peacefaring ways

Of the canabiash people.

I'm truly at home, eh?

You may have won the battle

And my doofusy
canadiafied brother--

Which actually doesn't
bother me that much--

But you will not win the w*r!

I have only yet begun
to skirmish.

Eee!

Saskatchewan.

Nova scotia.

Saskatchewan.
Nova scotia.

[Norbert]
and now, ladies
and gentlemen, eh

I direct your attention
to center ice

For a special presentation
from our royal canadian
mounted police, eh?

♪ O canada! ♪

♪ Our home and native land... ♪

[Disco music playing]

Oh, kick it!

Kick save and a beauty!

Yeah.

♪ Well, you can tell
by the way that I say "eh,"
I'm from canada ♪

♪ We can speak the english,
parlez-vous francais,
up in canada ♪

♪ And it's full
of big, hairy guys named rene ♪

♪ Up in canada,
I'm talking canada ♪

♪ Go, go, go back to canada ♪

♪ Go, go, go back ♪

♪ To canada-a-a... ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ Well, if you like luge
and dog-sledding, too,
head to canada ♪

♪ We got niagara sights
and the northern lights
up in canada ♪

♪ And we specialize in hockey
games with lots of fights
in canada ♪

♪ So let's sally forth to
the great white north, canada ♪

♪ So, go, go, go
back to canada ♪

♪ Let's all go back to ♪

♪ Canada-a-a... ♪

♪ Back to canada! ♪

[Wind whistling]

Ha-ha!

Success!

They went back to ca-nah-da.

Even my doofusy,
maple-headed brother.

All of them,
back to ca-nah-da!

[Laughing]

The land of curling
and fatback bacon...

Road signs in both
english and metric...

Thousands of square miles
of barren permafrost...

And the birthplace of acclaimed
actor, author, recording artist

And all-around cultural icon...

Mr. William shatner... Guh.

Wait for me, eh?!

I want to be canadian, too!

[Thunder crashes]

[Narrator]
it was a bad day,
a sad, unglad day.

On a day like that,
there's nothing to do.

To go out in the hail
was strictly taboo.

Inside of their dam,
two beavers were stuck

So they played a game
they bought from a duck.

Each time that they played,
the result was the same:

Norb was the winner
and daggett was lame.

Oh, no!
[Norbert]
oh, yeah!

Keep it moving,
dagsalosing.

Nine, ten, 11, 12.

Guh!

[Both]
trapped like a rat!

No!

Ooh, ow, ooh, ow...

Hurting, ow...

[Screams]

[Groans]

[Narrator]
dag was deep in despair

But things soon would change

When out of the air popped
a guest who was strange.

Why, hello and howdy
and how do you do?

I've come a long way
to meet both of you.

Look, it's a yak.

Inside a sack.

The yak in the sack,
that's my long name.

I hail from fairtown,
where we all play fair games.

I came when I heard
dag losing so badly.
He heard.

Now let's play some games,
nice, safe, fair and gladly.

You're weird.

What the heck is going on?

Ooh!

♪ Oh, daggett ♪

♪ Please do not despair ♪

♪ I do not play games ♪

♪ Which hurt, trap or snare ♪

♪ The only good games
are nice, safe and fair. ♪

Go faster, yak!

♪ This game is ungood ♪

♪ Not nice, safe or fair ♪

♪ This game drives
poor daggett to curse
and to swear ♪

♪ This game is dangerous
hazardous, jeapordous,
periless ♪

♪ Bad for us. ♪

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

That's my flavorite game.

Now, you need a good game
of skill and technique.

One nice, safe and fair...

How's, mmm...
Hide and go seek?

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

I hate that game
most of all, yak.

Not it!
Typical!

Dag's it!

Later, you loserly,
boozerly it-boy.

[Gibbering]

It boy.

Uh, one, two, three, three...

Five, eight, 19, 37-teen.

Okay, ready or not, here I come.

Psstst!
Huh?

Psst!!

Psst...!

Hey, yak,
I think you're leaking.

Dag, over here.

Heh?
Over here!

Yeah, hold your horses.
I'm looking for norb.

What?

[Bell rings]

Uh?

You're it! I win!
I'm the big winner!

More like the big wiener.
You cheat!
Whatever.

You call helping him cheat

Nice, safe and fair?

[Music fades up]

♪ I know how you feel ♪

♪ I see that you're mad ♪

♪ I'd rather you were
all happy and glad ♪

♪ So please pick a game
that won't make you sad ♪

How about tag?

That game is no good.

Dag might hit his head
on outcropping wood.

No, I won't... Ooh!

Let's play some go fish.

♪ Card games are naughty ♪

I'm king of the couch!

♪ That makes you seem haughty
you must choose again ♪

♪ Your games are all-- ♪

Try musical chairs!

♪ That's cruel
to the chairless ♪

Aliens inv*de!

♪ The game I dissuade ♪

♪ If aliens came,
I'd throw a parade! ♪

Aliens don't even exist!

Why are you protecting them?

That's it, you've ruined
your last game, pal.

I want you out!

♪ Out you want me out ♪

♪ But every dam
needs a yak about ♪

♪ Under the sink ♪

♪ Eating all the grout ♪

Let me put this to ya' so that
you'll understand me gooder.

You're nice, safe and
fair games make me frown

And I rue the day
you came to my town!

Oh, be cheerful instead.
You're rhyming already!

Those nice, safe and fair
traits you don't like

Will swim down your throat
like freshwater pike.

[Gulps]

No! What have you done?!

What's happening to me?!

All nice, safe and fair
I don't want to be!

The rhyming is key,
it enters your mind.

It makes you act nice
and charming and kind.

As long as you rhyme
your brain I will bind.

No, I refuse to rhyme!

I'd rather be silent,
like a dumb, dopey mime.

Yee.

[Gasps]

Cool!

I want a star like that.

Oh, daggie dippy,
you beaverish hippie.

This body of mine
feels really trippy.

Are you rhyming?

Give me a big hug,
you lovable lug.

Ooh...

Okay, norb, back off!

No!

I still get the feeling
something here is all wrong.

I just can't quite place it.

Maybe a song!

Aw, geez, he's going
to sing... Again.

♪ There is still some bad
in your dam by the pond ♪

♪ But I will with this
tap from my wand ♪

♪ Your w*r toys become
zoozellzeezans ♪

♪ Hot oven no more,
it's a grumzore ♪

♪ Sharp scissors they were,
now a kleeber ♪

♪ These ugly things
bent into nice shapes ♪

♪ Like flangblots made
from your horror film tapes ♪

What did you do to my tv, yak?

♪ It's your wish I've heeded ♪

♪ With this final tap ♪

♪ Your dam is cross-breeded ♪

♪ It's nice, safe and fair... ♪

♪ Oh, yes, indeeded ♪

Yeah, yak, it's groovylooktuney.

Hey, you're not going to use
that wand on me now, are you?

Dag, you don't need
a tap from my wand

If you want to be
a rhyming keyson.

Just listen to me
and in kind respond.

Uh, okay, I'm just
guessing here, yak,

But, uh, are you saying you want
me to rhyme what you says?

Ooh, you sure are a clever guy.

Now, just follow norb and i.

Dag, I think you're rather neat.

I even like your furry feet.

Sugar tastes good
because it's...

S... White.

No, no, no, no, dag!
You're supposed to rhyme.

Now let's try it again
and listen this time.

Dag, I think
you're really neat.

I like to sit
and watch you eat.

It's cold in here,
turn up the...

He... Music.

Oh, idiot.

What, what, what?

Let's try again,
let's not cast blame

But this time, dag...

Just say your name.

That looks
like a good baguette.

Please give some
to brother...

Your name.

Oh!

Ooh, you're upset,
I can tell.

I think you're
driving me insane!

[Panting]

Eee.

[Laughing]

I think I know now what to do.

I must remove
this snag from you.

No! Why are you
taking norb away?

His very presence has disrupted.

I think it's time he
giddy-up-ded.

Giddy-up-ded?

So I was stretching...
Stop your kvetching.

Dag, it's time
for norb to go.

So say hello
to your new bro!

Good-bye,
dearest dagallama.

With me gone,
you'll reach nirvana.

You meet again in guiana.

Or perhaps in oputswana.

Or in wholesome tijuana.

Ow!

Leave my brother alone, yak.

Stop tripping me,
you naughty brat!

Norbie, help me!

I cannot fight him,
gag I am,

For he has turned my will
to jam.
Oh, jeez.

I cannot fight
his rhymey scam.

Ah, spoot!

I'll make you be good,
you misshapen mongoose!

The bad end of my wand
will now quickly induce

An ungentle whooping
on your furry caboose!

I know that I just
shouldn't laugh...

But it's fun to giggle
at my better half.

That's it! Norb!
Remember who you are.

You like seeing me
get quashed!

Stop trying to make him
bad like you!

It's fun, you know,
to see you smash.

To watch my bro
get thrashed and bashed.

Norb, norb, look!
I'm hurting myself. Ouch! Ouch!

I hope you're
apreciating this, brother.

Oh, yeah!

Nowhere to run,
my beaver friend.

Now will I warm your furry end.

Nobody picks on my brother!
Except for me!

You... But...

[Hip hop playing]

♪ Nobody messes with this
beaver pair ♪

♪ Nobody we say
not even a bear ♪

♪ No one on a chair
no one on a dare ♪

♪ Not the mayor
not two of a pair ♪

♪ No one from zaire
not here in our land ♪

♪ I do declare you phony
shakespeares ♪

♪ Say your prayers
you yak in molehair ♪

♪ We'll have our revenge
and this we do swear ♪

Don't let bad words come out
of your beavery snout.

No shut ups or stupids
or other bad shouts.

Norby, I'm so happy
you're you again.

And I'm sorry I always make you
so sad by b*ating you with
games, daggy wag.

Let's always play nice,
safe and fair with each other.

I'll tell you what,
I'll even let you win a game.

Uh-huh.
Really?

Really? Which one?

[Narrator]
the story is over,
it's said and it's done.

Our beavers have triumphed.

Norby, it's your turn to win.

Hey, thanks, brother.
Kick the sack!

Yeah, baby.

[Narrator]
oh, the brothers have won.

[Theme music playing]