04x05 - Moby Dopes/Present Tense

[bunniefuu]

( Lively dance music playing )

♪ A-a-angry beavers ♪

♪ Beavers. ♪

( Horns honking... )

( Brass band playing... )

( Crowd cheering... )

Ah, there's
nothing like

An action-packed day
at mr. Bill licking's
world of dampness, eh, dag?

Oh, oh, oh, look at that!

( Dolphins chattering )

( Crowd cheering... )

Hey, I want to see

If they have any
more cool stuff

In the gift shop.

Hey, t-shirt man!

Yeah, whatever.

Man:
now, ladies and gentlemen

Our star attraction

Camus the whale!

Yah!

( Screams )

( Crunch )

Geh...

Uh... Ooh...!

Ah...

( Rattling and clanking )

( Norbert chuckling )

That gift shop-pa-pa
was spectacular!

I can't wait to install

My new junior
marine biologist

Underwater
observatory
a-go-go!

( Crash )

( Whistles )

Okay, vic, back 'er up!

( Backup signal beeping... )

( Snorting... )

Ooh, ooh, ooh, camus

My large and beautifully
rendered friend

This is your lucky day.

( Growling )

You no longer have to
live in captivy...

Uh, capta...
Uh, in a cage.

You can live in our pond.

A free whale!

Be free, camus!

Oops.

( Grunting )

Be... Ooh, ouch...

( Grunting )

Free!

Finally!

A k*ller whale of my very own!

Ooh, my heart is all a-tweedle!

Whoo-hoo!

( Quacking )

( Crunch, squeal )

Ooh! Cool!

( With french accent ):
underneath the calm waters
of the pond

Lives a cornucopia
of colorful creatures.

( Squeaks )

A limpet fifefish!

It can't be!
They've been extinct
for over 30 years!

It is! Oh, the joy!

( Munching )

( Crunch )

Oh, no! You k*lled
my limpet fifefish, you...

( Normal voice ):
k*ller whale?

Wh... What in the name
of inga svenson's
teutonic tassles

Is a k*ller whale
doing in our pond?

Oh, no... Dag!

( Kissing, whistling )

Come here, boy.

What have you been up to?

You're all wet.

Let daddy shammy you off.

Now, sit.

Good boy!

( Fish squeaks, grunts )

Roll over!

Dag! There's a k*ller whale
in our pond!

( Whistling )

I saw him from my underwater
observatory a-go-go.

He's
humongazoid!

( Splash )

I don't know
what you're talking...

( Crunch, mailman screams )

About.

Dag!

What?

He just went postal

On our postal person!

I didn't see anything.

You stole camus

From bill licking's
world of dampness?!

I didn't steal him!

He...
He followed me home.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah.

Well, what's that?

Daggett:
oh, my dog!

Camus can drive!

k*ller whales are very
intelli-ghent, you know.

Daggett beaver!

What?

You take this whale

Back to its rightful owner
right now.

No, he was so unhappy,
all cooped up in that
spooty t*nk, ee.

We have plenty of room
in our pond. Please.

Oh, oh, oh, and I got this
at the world of dampness
gift shop.

It tells you everything
you need to know.

"Bloody mayhem: caring
for your five-ton
k*ller whale"?!

Aw, let me keep him, norb,
please!

I, i, I'll feed him
and walk him

And clean up all his shoo-
shooing caca, I promise.

What?

Well, maybe not the caca, but...
He'll be good, I swear.

Look how happy he is.

( Roaring )

Isn't he a scamp?

Scamp?

He's eating our friends!

Oh, p-shaw! He's just playing.

You got to see his stick trick.

( Panting )

Here, camus, here, camus.

Jump over the stick.

Hmm... Guess
the poor little fella's

All tuckered out.

Hey-yah, boy!

Norbert:
run for your lives!

Daggett, get inside!

Honestly, norb, you act
like you've never played
with a puppy before.

You want to shammy him?

Puppy?! He's a k*ller whale!

And he ain't playing!

Wow, look at all these bones
and shoes and...

Aquatic mammal fur.

( Snap, daggett screaming )

Ee... Ooh!

What are you doing?

I'm calling
mr. Bill licking.

That whale has to go!

You can't do that,
uncle norb.

Oh, yes, I can.

Oh, no, you...

( Gasps )

The phone went dead.

Guh...

Camus cut the phone line!

Smart as a whip.

We've got to get
out of here.

Geh...!

Who's daddy's boy?

Daggett! Do you realize
what this means?

We have to put him on a leash?

We're trapped!
Prisoners in our own dam!

P-shaw!

Must... Get to my laboratory.

Find... A solution.

Don't... Tell me how to do it.

Camus sickens me.

♪ Camus, camus,
camus, camus, camus,
touch me, whale... ♪

( Laughing )

What a good boy you are...

Yes, you are.

Who's daddy's boy?

Who's my best boy?

Camus, that's who.

( Kissing )

( Giggling )

It tickles.

There must be a way out.

Think, norb, think.

( Thud )

Aw, he misses us.

Another boat!

That's my boy!

I'm going to shammy him again.

He's a vicious predatory
eating machine!

Stop labeling him,
uncle norbert.

Give the kid a break!

He's been in institutions
all his life.

( Thud )

( Squeaking )

( Gasps )
my... Teddy bear!

( Loud crash )

Okay, time to start labeling
him, the vicious menace!

No more shammying for you,
buster!

( Loud crash )

Geh... Heh...
Stop it, dag.

You're making him mad.

I don't care.

I'll whomp him so hard,
his whole...

Species will hurt?

That's it!

Let me at him!

Ooh!

( Screams )

( Panting )

( Gulping and panting )

That was nuts.

Ee!

Ee...!

( Whimpering )

Daggett:
you think he's gone?

( Creaking )

We're in a pond.

He can't go anywhere.

( Creaking )

Good point.

( Both scream )

( Both panting )

( Backup signal beeping )

Hey, look!

It's senor
mr. Bill licking!

We're not licked yet!

( Blows whistle )

( Blows whistle )

( Crunch, groan )

( Gasps )

Well, this is
another fine mess
you've gotten us into.

( Whimpering... )

Huh?

( Screaming )

Thar he blows!

Hey, hey...

Hey, bill licking's
waving to us.

He wants us
to follow him.

Geh...!

Abandon dam!
Abandon dam!

Ee...!

( Toilet flushing,
screaming... )

We have to swim for it.

It's our only hope!

( Laughing )

You're such a kidder.

I'm not kidding!

And if we don't make it...

I take the laugh
back then.

I just want you to know
one thing.

This is all your fault!

Sheesh, you have issues.

( Rumbling )

( Screaming )

Ee...!

Come on, dag...

We're almost there!

( Dag wheezing and coughing )

...oof...

I just want you to know...
( Wheezing )

Get that mucus
out of my eye.

I just want you
to know, norb...

I've learned my lesson.

Uh-huh.

I'll never bring home
another pet ever again.

Who cares?!

We're about to get eaten!

Oof!

Both:
ee...!

( Roaring )

( Screams )

( Crunch, snap )

( Gulps )

We're alive-a!

Where in the name
of deus ex machina

Did that t-rex
come from?

Dag...?

Well, uh, you remember
last week

When we went
to paleozoic park?

Yes!

He, uh... Kind of...

Followed me home?

Oh, no!

( Roaring )

I sure wish I'd gotten around
to training him, though.

( Both screaming... )

( Roaring... )

♪ For I'm a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For I'm a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For I'm a jolly good
fe-ellow... ♪

♪ Tee-hee, ta-ha, ha-hee. ♪

( Giggles )

( Giggles )

Ooh! ( Muttering... )

Ah!

What... Ooh!

Ooh, ah, ee, ah...

How flighty.

Who ever heard of practicing
unwrapping birthday presents?

It's been a whole year since
I unwrapped a birthday present.

Without practice, I might
forget how and get injur-ed.

( Doorbell popping )

( Snorting )

Ooh, ooh!

Birthdays, birthdays!

I love birthdays!

Let's open it,
let's open it!

( Goofy voice ):
what do you say we
open it, huh? That's wild.

Hold on, hold on.

We must read
the card first.

"Daggett and norbert,
happy birthday, mom."

Eh... It's mom's
birthday, too?

There's a comma;
comma, dag.

♪ Oh, comma, comma, comma,
come on, norbert! ♪

Ooh, comma, he said.

( Sniffing )

Smells like, uh...

Cinnamint.

Let's see, she...
( Gurgling )

Ooh, I was about to burp,
sorry about that, norb.

Mmm... Smells like...

( Sniffing )

Cinnamint.

Let's see
what she got us!

Hey, let's see, huh?

"To teach my sons
sharing and patience..."

Which I already know
but you don't...
Hey!

Shh, I'm reading.

"...this present

"Is for you both

"And mustn't be opened

Until your birthday."

( Rumbling )

( Groaning )

Ow!

Do you mind?

Norb, it got heavy
all of a sudden.

Yeah, right. "If one
of you opens it early,
it becomes the other

Better-behaved beaver's
property."

Meaning it will be mine soon.

So, meet you back here
at midnight, daggie

The official start
of our birth-a-da.

Hey, cool!

Look at this polka dot shadow!

Can't, I'm out
for a long, leisurely

Long stroll far,
far away from the gift.

But, but...

( Snorting ) what?!

You're not going to
unwrap this now?

Waiting one long, full day
to unwrap a gift

Is the least we can do
for our dear mother.

Ee... Ah... Ooh!

Don't you want to see
what's in here?

Nah.

First it was light.

Now it's heavy.

Oh, and... Ooh,
and lest we forget

The kooky polka dot shadow...

I'm sure you won't
open the gift.

( Whispers ):
it will become mine as soon
as I leave you and you do.

Hey, I heard that.

But if you do open the gift

While I'm on
the other side of the woods

I trust you'll remember
to give it to me.

Hee-hee.

I knew he wouldn't last.

The present is mine!

Hand it over!

Mr. Couldn't-wait-till-midnight!

Ee...

What the...?

I watched you open it!

Uh, uh, I don't know

What you're
talking about

Birthday boy
brother.

You picked up
the present...

And... Ee!

Geh!

Uh...

Ee... Uh... Ee!

Cool!

Now it's squishy!

Stop it!

Huh?

Geh!

Say, dag, why don't you check
the front porch?

The front porch?

See if any special
handling instrucciones

Came with it.

Instrucciones?

Look all around!

Check the forest!

They may have blown away!

Yeah, baby...
Let's see what we got.

( Clattering )

( Whirring )

Huh?

( Bell dings, alarm sounding )

Oh!

Instrucciones...

Where the heck
am I supposed to find... Ooh!

( Norbert screams )

Spoot!

Fire! Fire!

Geh?!

Hmm...

Hmm?

Does this look to you

Like a present
that caught fire?

Uh, well...

Guess we have to
open it up now

And make sure
whatever's inside

Didn't get damaged.

I'll untie, you tear.

Ooh, ooh...
( Panting and snorting )

Right, I love to tear!

Go!

I said go!

So go! Ooh!

I'll go when you go.

Oh...
( Laughing )

( Laughing )

( Laughing )

No.

I'm not falling for that.

You just want me to open
the present first

So you can have it
to yourself.

Fine!

Fine?

If you're too paranoid

To open the gift
with me...

Who said
I was paranoid?

I just did.

...then we'll just have to

Ignore it
till midnight...

Tough guy.
( Snickers )

F... Fine!

( "For he's a jolly good fellow"
playing... )

( Whispering voice ):
daggett... Daggett...

What?

Daggett...

What?

Dag...

What?!

What? I didn't
say anything.

Norbert... Norbert...

Norbert...

Knock it off!

I'm just sitting here.

Thief!

Traitor!

You moved it!

You did not!
I mean, no, I did not!

Did it, no, it did not.

What, uh...?

The present!

Hey! Where's the present?!

Uh, present? What present?

( Dishes clattering )

It's got to be in here.

I heard it.

Ooh!

Spoot!
You broke it again.

Eh, uh... You were
standing on it, too.

I'm lighter.

I'm more svelter.

Stay away!

Ee.

You can't be trusted

Near this super
coolly cool present.

Ooh, yeah?!

Well, you can't be trusted
near... The... Double spill...

You can get it out...

This double spifalicious
present, either

And young children.

What?

I'm locking it inside here
for safekeeping.

I'm double-locking it

For extra safekeeping.

( Muttering )
good.

Now we'll sleep
until midnight

Then open it.

Right.

And I'm cleaning my oven.

( Owl hooting )

( Toilet flushes )

Oh, no!

I'm not falling for
that sleepy routine.

I know your plan.

Wait until
I fall asleep

Then steal my keys
and unlock the closet.

Uh-huh. Let me write that down.

You're not getting
anywhere near

That video game
before me.

Video game? Ha!

Bet you your half
of the present

It's a fluorescent
pen light.

Bet you your half
of the present

Plus half of next year's...

Yes?

It's a vahdeo game.

A vahdeo game?

Well, okay...
I bet you your half

Plus your half... Wait...

I bet your half
of the present

Plus your half
of the present

Of next year's present...

( Crickets chirping )

( Raspy, nasal voice ):
your half... Plus your half
of next year's...

( Raspy, nasal voice ):
I always knew
it was barzini...

( Normal voice ):
plus your half
of the bedroom...

Plus remote control
privileges...

( Alarm ringing )

Midnight!

Ay-hoo!

Ee!

Ah, ee...!

( Panting... )

( Both panting... )

( Panting and whimpering... )

What...?

Where...?
Ee... Geh!

Geh?

( Thumping )

I hear it!

( Panting... )

( Thumping )

( Thumping )

( Panting... )

( Thumping... )

Hey, I hear it
behind the refrigerator.

It's in the basement!

Listen, up on the roof!

The living room!

Under your feet!

Our bedroom!

( Gasping and whooping )

( Thumping... )

Both:
ee...!

Daggett:
it's coming after us!

Both:
ee...!

Look at them flee!

( Laughihihiour scientific g...

Uh, present... Thing...

( Laughing )

Is driving those
pointy weasels...

( Laughing )

Berserk.

Beavers:
ee...!

Daggett:
ouch, ouch, it's snapping at us!

How can mommy do this?!

Mommy!

Ooh, ooh, ooh... Ee...!