02x08 - O'Lucky Monster/Eau de Krumm

[bunniefuu]

( Clock chiming, thunderclap )

( Creaking )

( Owl hooting )

( Shrieking )

( Crying )

( Gasps )

( Screaming )

I can smell you from here!

( Needle scratching record )

( Chuckles )

( Panting )

( Screams )

( Grunting )

( Panting )

She's going to be late.

She's never late.

She's late this time.

The belch
hasn't belched.

He should. It's time!

Something's
stuck in his throat.

( Panting )

( Panting )

( Gasps )

( Belching )

Oh, boy, that was lucky.

Well, since everyone is here

I guess we can begin.

Oblina?

Yes, I have a scare

I would like to present.

A rather good one, I think.

But didn't you
show a scare yesterday?

Mm-hmm.

But I've got another.

Please?

Oh, such a diligent student.

I'm sure it will be a treat.

( Squishing )

Ooh, a slug.

( All groaning in horror )

What?

You stepped on a slug.

So?

It's bad luck.

Yeah, you're cursed.

Of all the outrageous

Ridiculous human things
to think!

Dear oblina,
you don't take stock

In any of those ridiculous
superstitions, do you?

( Gulping ):
no, sir.

Personally, I think
it is absurd.

( Chuckling ):
please.

Careful, this last part
is tricky.

Congratulations
on your mar...

( Oblina coughing )

( expl*si*n )

( Groaning )

Bad luck.

She's cursed.

( Babbling )

Yes, oblina?

Uh, may I show you my scare?

I cannot believe it!

I am so embarrassed.

No, you're cursed.

Ickis, that curse business
is nonsense.

Really. Then how do you
explain the viewfinder?

Coincidence, that is all!

( Shrieks )

( Growling )

Do not say a word!

We are going to put this
to rest right now.

Above ground,
where I do what I do best.

Oblina:
maybe when you see humans
running away from me in fear

You shall see how ridiculous
this whole curse business is!

( People shouting happily )

Now, watch.

Every direction I turn,
there are humans.

Point your finger!

I shall walk that direction
and scare whomever I encounter.

Fine.

( Yawning )

( Chuckling wickedly )

Wait here, and listen
for the screams.

Oh!

What happened, scary?

Did you change
your mind?

No.

( Slamming )

You want me
to point somewhere else?

No!

( Growls )

( Crying out )

Huh, I missed.

Oblina:
everyone has a bad scare
now and then.

Don't let it get you down,
oblina.

It's not that you're
a bad scarer.

It's just that
you're cursed!

I'm sure you'll
get used to it.

Well, there is
nothing to get used to.

What really happened here?
Nothing!

But a few minuscule
coincidences.

And one
less-than-perfect scare.

Hardly reason enough
to believe

In some ridiculous curse.

( Crashing )

Ickis:
what happened?

Krumm:
the cable broke.

Oblina:
oh, I am cursed,
oh, I am, I tell you.

Ickis?

Ickis:
what?

Oblina:
do something.

( Banging )

( Voodoo music playing )

( Groaning )

Mmm.

How long will this go on?

Well, oblina should be
curse-free

By this time tomorrow.

Or maybe the day after.

Two days? Why?

We haven't wrapped her
in molding lettuce leaves

Bathed her in dog slobber

Or painted her tongue
with puddle muck.

And I have to sing.

( Wailing off-key )

( Groaning )

( Wailing )

Lucky eggs?

No.

Lucky stuffed human? No.

Lucky li... Ma... Be-ans.

Lima be-ans.

Wear the lucky lima be-ans.

Lucky wire smile?

Whoa, way too weird.

A rabbit's foot?

Yuck.

What is it?

It's a fish head on a chain.

You wear it and you rub it.

Yeah-- wear it and rub it.

It's the luckiest
thing in the world.

That's it.

One stop for all your
good luck needs.

And it really works?

Like a charm.

You don't have to sing
or dance or anything?

No, just wear it, rub it,
and it works.

Wow.

Skanky.

Only the best
for oblina.

Let's go scaring.

Perhaps we should stay here
a little longer

And wait for the good luck
to sink in.

Don't worry,
it works.

The perfect place

For you
to get a scare.

Yeah!

Really.

I was thinking there might be

Too many humans around.

That doesn't sound like you.

Yeah!

It's something
ickis would say.

Yeah!

Hey, wait, no!

Look at me, you guys!

Shelly, look,
she's looking
at something.

Shelly:
put that down, honey.

Julia?

Put that down, please.

Look at mommy, honey.

Put that down, julia!

( Slurps )

Euw!

( Burps )

Mommy, daddy,
look at me.

Sam, put that down.

Shelly:
put that down, honey.

Please, please, please...

I beg you, I beg you,
I beg you.

Come on, baby.

Come on, baby.

( Retching )

( Growling )

( Screams )

( Crying )

It works, oh,
it really works.

I wore it,
I rubbed it,
it works!

I am not cursed anymore!

I am back!

It's amazing.

Oh, the magic, the mystery.

Let's go home.

Oblina?

( Oblina grunting )

( Growls )

( Humans gasp )

Hello.

( Screaming )

Great scare, oblina.

Let's go home.

Home? Now? Are you kidding?

I'm just getting started.

Man:
chief, where do you want
the fireworks?

Oh, no.

Firemen!

Oblina, I think
we should go home.

That, my dear,
is because

You do not have
a lucky fish head.

Watch.

Hurry up
those fireworks.

If this show doesn't
start at sundown

These law-abiding citizens
will get ugly.

Oh, that fish head

Better be some lucky charm.

It's not.

I made the whole thing up.

( Whimpering )

You what? Why?!

I was tired of watching you
shake your groove thing.

My gr...?

So it's not
really good luck?

Nope.

Oh, fine!

Well, I guess then
that we should just go out there

And maybe help her.

What do you think?

Krumm?

( Sniffs )

Ickis:
go.. To the right.

To the right!

All:
ooh!

Ah!

Ickis:
wow, instant sky flowers.

Boy, are they noisy.

And they smell like rotten eggs.

Krumm:
come on.

( Shrieks )

Where is my fish head?

Where is it?

Where's my fish head?

( Barking )

This one's next.

I'll set it off.

I picked it out

I set it off.

Oblina!

I lost my fish head.

Forget it, let's go.

Ooh!

Kaboom!

( Screaming )

I did it!

I did it!

And all on my own.

No more curses,
no more bad luck!

♪ No more rubbing it
and wearing it ♪

♪ Or rubbing it, or wearing it

♪ I did it, I did it.

What's that?

( Crowd ):
ooh!

Ah!

Ooh!

Man:
hey, that's nice.

I like that one.

Spectacular, oblina!

Truly spectacular.

How did you get
such a great scare?

Yes, yes.

I'm just lucky, I guess.

( Animal howling )

Thank you, thank you

My adoring fans.

For years, I have worked
on creating a fragrance

That is even more fabulous

Than my famous line
of solid gold underwear.

May I present

Full moon.

Once you smell it

You go crazy.

( Applause )

I have
personally selected this city

To be the test market
for full moon.

This will be the launching pad
for a full moon invasion.

( Applause )

Ooh!

My uncle dranac used to live

Under a bathroom like this
in paris.

Watch this, guys.

They'll never know
what hit 'em.

Ooh!

( Wheezing )

( Coughs )

( Coughing )

What was that?

Booble frackis...

( Babbling )

Got... To... Get... Out.

Got to breathe foul air!

Got to get...

Sample... Warn others.

No, krumm!

No!

That wasn't so bad.

( Screams )

( Monsters talking )

Quiet!

Quiet.

I don't mean
to alarm you, but...

We've got a crisis
on our hands.

It seems the humans
have manufactured a new perfume.

( All gasp )

Perhaps this brief demonstration
will show you

What we're up against.

Snorch!

( Grunting )

( Buzzing )

( Flies coughing )

( Shrieking )

So, remember, all of you!

Take care when you scare.

( Groans )

( Sniffing )

Boy, hank

You stink
like a new york subway.

Why don't you
try new full moon?

Gentle enough for a woman

Yet rank enough for a guy.

( Gasping )

( Monsters talking )

Please, monsters,
please, please!

This full moon is everywhere.

There is no escape.

We have to come up
with new ways to scare.

From now on,
you will scare humans

From a distance!

( Giggling ):
oh, rob.

This moment
is so perfect.

Let's look at that hill

Through this stereoscopic
telescope

Placed here by our
helpful park services.

Anything for you,
pumpkin britches.

( Both giggling )

Krumm:
hey, hey, look...

Honey, do you
see something over there?

Hey, hey!

Hey, you!

You humans, look over here!

( Grunting )

( Crashing )

Gromble ( hysterically ):
all right, all right.

Try scaring the humans
in an enclosed place

Where they can see you,
but you will be protected

From the toxic perfume.

( Phone dialing )

Hey, honey,
I'll see you around : ?

You make desert
and I'll bring the horseshoes.

( Groaning )

Gromble:
okay, okay!

We may have to come up

With even more elaborate
means of scaring.

( Gasps )

( Crashing )

Every human is wearing
this putrid perfume.

Why bother?

They all smell alike.

How will we scare humans

If we cannot get near them?

Maybe we're exaggerating.

I mean,
the perfume can't be everywhere.

( Animal howling )

The odor of desire
fires the scent of my love.

( Duck squeaks )

Full moon.

You can't escape full moon

The smell that hangs in the air.

Available everywhere on earth

At the next full moon.

That is in one week!

( All crying out )

Class!

Class, we must remain

Calm and level-headed.

( Settling down )

If we don't scare,
we're all going to die!

( Panicked conversation )

Quiet!

Now is not the time to panic.

We've been through
worse than this.

We will prevail.

I, the gromble

Being of sound monster

( Sobbing ):
do leave my...

Shoes to the following
charities...

I don't want to die,
I'm too young.

There's so many things
I haven't done

So many humans I haven't scared.

So much garbage I haven't eaten.

There must be an antidote
to that horrible perfume

Something worse!

What? What?

I don't know!
I don't know!

Nothing smells as bad
as that perfume.

Hey, I smell worse.

Fine, but...

Both:
oh!

That's brilliant.

First...

We have to find
a way to...

( Sniffs )

Ahh!

Get that lovely stench

Out of him!

( Panting )

Wow, look at this sweat.

Ow!

Careful, doc, I'm tender-pitted.

Sometimes we must suffer
for science.

Doc..

I think I'm done on this side.

Now, we burn off
all the unnecessary elements--

Vitamins, minerals,
clean water--

And distill it down
to the very essence of stench.

( Sizzling )

Behold.

Krumm's stench

In its purest,
most fragrant form.

( Flies buzzing )

Back off.

( Sniffs )

Oh, I'm overcome with giddiness.

You, know, being siphoned
for three hours

Really takes it out
of a monster.

( Sniffing )

I miss my stench.

Gromble:
rise and smell, everyone.

It's time to begin phase two
of operation full moon.

Now we have to find
the full moon

And add krumm's stench to it.

Hey, stu.

Chuck.

How's it going?

Minnie.

Hello, stu.

Bill.

Hiya, stu.

Al.

How're the kids?

Fine, roger.

Greetings, stuart.

Constance?

( Gasps ):
there it is.

We must dump krumm's stench
into that vat of...

Oh, I can't even say it.

Man:
hey, look, ralph.

A new interesting
and informative safety poster.

Shh...

Humans.

Ickis, get the stench box.

Huh, I feel
much safer now.

( Chuckling )

Let's get to work.

( Yelling )

( Whistle blowing )

Hey, ed, let's see what
the missus packed for you.

Naw, I'm not hungry today.

I could have sworn
I had meat loaf.

Oh, you got
to eat something, ed.

I married my wife for her car,
not her cooking.

Come on, let's see
what's in here.

Give it back, ralph.

Whoa!

( Coughing )

What was that?

It's just ham.

( Whistle blows )

Hurry, there isn't much time.

Correction, there is no time!

Now, we must wait
to see if it works.

( Coughing )

( Both coughing )

Oh.

( Coughing )

( Coughing echoing )

( Rumbling )

( Coughing )

I waited in line three weeks
for this?

Get your hands off me,
you tasteless peasant.

I bet you bought that uniform
off the rack!

Ooh!

Khaki is so tacky.

Thank you.

And enjoy your eau de krumm.

The scent that saved monsters
everywhere.

Thank you, thank you

And enjoy eau de krumm.

Come back again.

Krumm:
can I have a break now?

Come on,
you big baby.

We got orders
to fill.

( Panting )

I'm drying up.

I'm too sleepy to stand.

You will never get rich
with an attitude like that.

Now, run!

Faster, faster.

Ickis:
thank you, and enjoy
your eau de krumm.

Come back again.

Now, who is next?

Fun for the whole family.

It's a stench
that keeps on stinking.

( Laughing )

Oh, call again.

Love your hat!

Krumm:
it's amazing.

Oh, the magic, the mystery.

Hmm.