02x04 - Doug's Dinner Date/Doug Meets Fentruck

[bunniefuu]

( Yelps )

( Barks )

( Electric guitar playing )

( Man singing scat )

( Barks )

Cool! Whoa!

( Thwack )

( Barks )

( Trumpets blaring )

( Horses whinnying )

( Trumpets blaring )

Man:
sir young person

You have completed
your three tasks nicely

Silencing the whiners of moo
was brilliant.

Oh, I thought
they'd never shut up.

Recovering the girdle
of gilgamesh

Well, what
can I say?

How's that fitting?

Oh, wonderfully.

But there is one more task

Before you win

The fair patti of
mayonnaise's heart.

Name it, your lord mayorness.

Bring on the last task!

Bring on
the last task!

Bring on the
last task!

Bring on the last task!

( Babbling )

To thee who have passed
these tests three

Courage, valor
and honesty.

Before you lies the
greatest of feats

That which we call,
"the test of eats."

Steel your will,
in your tummy make room

For liver and onions

Ye must consume!

( Gasps )

( Crowd gasping )

You... Want me...
To eat...

Liver and...
Onions?

No, please, anything but that.

( Footsteps )

( Hinge creaks )

( Barks )

That's me.

Hey!

( Barks )

( Yelps )

Doug:
the trouble started
the other day.

Patti finally said what
I'd been hoping she'd say

Since the first day we met.

How about supper
sunday night?

Huh, supper?

Sunday?

You mean...

You and me?

Yeah, you and me

And skeeter and
chalky and beebe

You know,
the whole g*ng.

Well... Hey...
Yeah, sure.

Oh, by the way, doug

We're having
your favorite--

Liver and onions.

Sure, great.

Great?

What was I saying?

I hate liver and onions.

You've actually
eaten liver

And lived to
tell about it?

I've eaten that stuff
since I was a baby.

At first I hated it

But now i...
Almost like it.

Maybe all I need
is practice.

I think I'll
ask my mom

To fix me some
liver tonight.

You're going to do
that for patti?

Yeah, but I need
your help.

You can count
on me, pal.

Don't worry, we'll get
this thing licked

And chewed and
if we're lucky

Even swallowed!

Mmm, this is some great food,
mrs. Funnie.

Chicken, green
bean casserole

A homemade biscuit.

( Sniffs )

( Moans )

Mrs. Funnie:
douglas is there
something wrong

With your dinner?

It is what
you wanted?

No, I mean, yeah.

I'm just waiting
for it to cool.

What ho!

Please pass yon ketchup.

Skeeter:
sir doug,
look out!

It's the liver dragon!

What the...!

( Gasps )

( Roaring )

( Cries out )

( Roaring )

( Roaring )

( Cries out )

Maybe I wasn't ready to face
the liver and onions quite yet.

Uh, may I
be excused?

( Moaning )

I'll be right with you, doug.

Judy, will you please
pass the chicken?

Doug:
I can't do it.

I mean, what
will patti think

If I go over
to her house

Eat her cooking

And throw up
all over her rug?

What makes patti think
I like liver and onions?

I even did that

"Things I hate
most" oral report

On liver
and onions.

I've got it!

Skeeter:
you don't hate
liver and onions.

I don't hate
liver and onions.

You love liver and onions.

I love... Love?

Don't you think love
is going a bit far?

Come on, man, this is serious.

All right, now,
follow the yo-yo.

When you look
at your plate

You will not see
liver and onions.

You will see a juicy
honker dog with fries.

I will see...

Honker dog and fries.

Cool.

Now, look.

Huh?

Aw, it's no use, skeeter.

I guess my will is too strong.

Ow!

Well, at least we tried.

That was enough
liver and onions for one night.

The next day
I went to mr. Dink's

To see if he had any ideas.

Here you go,
douglas.

Just what you need.

Taste-b-gone tongue protector.

A few drops and you
won't taste a thing.

Guaranteed, very expensive.

You'll see, in
moments I'll be able

To eat anything
without flinching.

You see, douglas,
even anchovies.

Well, uh, thanks for
the advice, mr. Dink.

I'll keep this in mind.

See you later, douglas.

I don't know.

Maybe it was time
for some sisterly advice

But, unfortunately, the only
person to get that from

Was my sister.

Well, what do you...

Silence!

I'm thinking.

Doug

To understand
liver and onions

You must...

Become liver and onions.

What are you
talking about

And what are
you doing?

( Screams )

The floor is
the frying pan.

I am the onions

And you... Are...
The liver!

Start sizzling.

( Sizzling )

Judy?

Not now, I'm cooking.

Judy, I think I'm
done on this side.

Look, if you don't
want my help

Go somewhere else.

I've never seen anyone
so hysterical

Over a
stupid dinner.

But it wasn't just
any stupid dinner.

This was something smelly,
slimy and evil.

This...

Was liver and onions!

It was the night
before patti's dinner

And we were at
our favorite restaurant...

Monsieur funnie, welcome
to cowboy jacques'.

Howdy, rudy.

Theda and I are both
having the number .

The barbecue ribs

Mon dieu, very good.

And for little smoky?

It was now or never.

Uh, I'll have number .

( Collective gasp )

Crowd:
liver and onions!

You must be mistaken.

Number
is... Is...!

Yes, I know, liver and onions.

( Collective gasp )

Oh, my word!

Son, are you sure
you want...

Mom, dad, I have
to do this.

I admire you,
mister.

If I couldn't handle
liver and onions tonight

I was sure to lose it

At patti's tomorrow.

( Crowd gasping )

( Crowd mumbling in amazement )

Woman:
frankly, I
am shocked!

I just can't
believe it!

( Gasps )

Oh, by the way, doug

We're having your favorite,
liver and onions.

See you.

( Groans resignedly )

( Heavenly chorus swells )

( Crowd mumbling approval )

Congratulations there,
young person.

The fair princess
is yours.

( Swallows )

( Sighs )

( Cheering )

So you ate
all of it!

Wow!

At least I managed
to swallow it.

Let's just hope

You can manage
to swallow

Patti's liver
and onions.

Well, I did it once
and I'll do it again.

Hey, guys.

We're just
about to start.

Doug:
hey, chalky.

Hey, roger.

Skeeter:
hey, boomer.

Say, patti.

I can't wait to try
your liver and onions.

Mmm, mmm,
bring them on.

Liver and onions?

I bet I could wolf down

Three or four plates
of liver and onions.

We're not having
liver and onions.

Huh?

I was just kidding you.

I know you hate
liver and onions.

You even said so

In that "things
I hate most" speech.

Of course,
I knew that.

I knew that.

So what are we
having for real?

All right,
honker dogs
and fries!

Skeeter:
cool, man!

Dig in, doug.

Oh, no!

So patti's party turned out
better than I expected.

I ate until I thought I'd pop.

All this talk about food
is making me hungry.

How about you, porkchop?

Porkchop?

Why are
you looking

At me like that?

( Snarling )

Back off, man.

Lay off, porkchop.

Snap out of it!

Where's that yo-yo?

( Crowd acting rowdy )

( Glass breaking )

New kid riding fast into town!

Huh?

( All crying out in panic )

Doug:
there I was, sheriff doug--

Local welcoming committee.

All kind of varmints
passed through my town.

This wasn't just any varmint.

This one had his eye
on miss patti.

No, sheriff doug.

Don't do it!

And that didn't sit right
with me.

( Horse whinnies )

Okay, hombre.

This town ain't big enough
for the both of us.

( Footsteps )

( Hinge creaks )

( Barks )

That's me.

Hey!

( Barks )

( Yelps )

Mr bone:
where is yakkestonia?

Right under my finger.

Who is from yakkestonia?

The yakkestonesians.

Any questions?

Why do we
have to wear

These stupid
costumes?

Stupid costumes?

These are the
traditional garments

Worn by the
yakkestonesians.

Our new exchange
student arrives today

All the way
from yakkestonia.

Any other questions?

Has anybody
seen funnie?

He was here
a second ago.

Yoo-hoo, funnie.

( Laughing )

Cut it out, roger.

Put a sock
in it, you two.

Now, remember, class

Fentruck is from
a different part
of the world

So let's all try
to make him feel welcome.

Fentruck? What kind
of a goofy name is that?

Let's get
with the program.

Did everyone practice

The traditional
yakkestonesian greeting?

Yes, mr. Bone.

Well, let's hear it!

Zwooba, zwooba, zwooba!

Zwooba, zwooba,
zwooba!

Zwooba, zwooba, zwooba.

I can't hear you!

Greetings to you.

My heart is spongy
with happiness.

I am delighted
for you to see me.

What a
cool accent.

He's cute!

Oh, brother, where did
this guy learn to talk

Fentruck, where
are your

Traditional yakkestonesian
clogging pants?

Your yakkestonesian
floppy hat?

Oh, no, mr. Bone.

We no longer wear the funny
pants of our forefathers.

Mr. Bone:
kids today...

No respect
for tradition.

Zwooba, zwooba, zwooba,
zwooba, zwooba...

"He's so cute!"

"What a
dreamy accent!"

We haven't given
our new friend

The traditional
bluffington greeting.

Fentruck, old buddy

We got a tradition
around here--

The new kid buys me lunch.

What do you
say, fentruck?

I look forward
with great perspiration.

My friends.

Why does
roger always

Have to pick on
the new kids?

Because
he's roger.

I'd hate
for fentruck

To get the wrong
impression.

Uh-oh.

Hi, fentruck.

I am doug.

Doog. I am
gathering friends

Like flies on a
horse's behind, no?

Fentruck:
perhaps you wish

To come to
mr. Boon's house.

Why would
I want to?

Because that is
where I am staying.

There is a favor
I wish to ask.

Yeah, sure, no sweat.

Boy, I sure
do, doog.

It sure was weird going
to mr. Bone's house.

I mean, I couldn't imagine

Mr. Bone living in a house
like a normal person.

♪ Yodel ay hee

♪ Yodel ay hee

( Clears throat )

Fentruck:
yodel ay hee.

This is doog, my friend
of so little time.

Oh, hi, mr. Bone.

Remember me?

Hello, funnie.

I was yodeling.

Is that a problem?

Oh, no, mr. Bone.

Mr. Boon and
I are both

Of the organization
of yodelers.

They sponsored my journey.

Yodelers are
a tight-knit group.

They protect their own.

Is that a problem?

No, mr. Boon--
I mean, mr. Bone.

( Door opens )

Doog, I want you
to help me

Letterize in your language.

You want me
to help you

Write a letter?

That's right.

I have tried my touch

But it is
not right as rain.

"Hi, yellow-haired girl
who sits in front of me."

Is that not right about it?

Wow, fentruck
didn't waste any time.

He had a crush on a girl.

He sure worked fast.

Huh?

But who was it?

Shouldn't be too hard
to figure out.

Connie sits
in front of chalky

Dory sits in front of dilbert

Beebe sits in front of roger...

( Gasping )

Hello, yellow-haired girl
who sits in front of me.

Hello, dark-haired
exchange student.

Doog...
Ah, doog?

I should take this home.

I don't have time
to finish it now.

Whatever you say, doog.

And for you...

A souvenir from
my native land.

A jar?

A yar of the rarest air

From the top of mount
lubliboba in yakkestonia.

Oh, go, doog, before
my eyes begin to leak.

I am so homesick.

( Sniffling )

How could I tell fentruck

I couldn't write
his letter to patti?

He gave me his best jar of air.

Hurry, doog, if we are to
be picking lab partners.

Uh-oh, what if he asked patti
to be his lab partner?

"Hurry doog, if we are to
be picking lab partners."

( Derisive laughter )

What a goofball!

Yeah, but the girls
like his accent.

An accent, that's it!

( Gasps )

Patti, would be zee
lab partner avec moi?

No, no...

Mon cherie, patti

I sink we could make zee
beautiful chemistry together

No?

Hey, fentruck,
would you like

To be
my lab partner?

You make me feel
like the happy cow.

Patti!

Looks like everybody
is paired up

But us, partner.

Oh, doog,
doog, doog.

I am fitting in like
a foot in my sock.

I have a lab partner!

And tonight, you
finish my letter.

Thank you, doog.

Doug:
I've got this friend--
it's not me--

And he has a friend--
not fentruck.

This friend asked me--
I mean, my friend

To write a letter
to a girl named patti...

Why don't you just tell fentruck
how you feel about patti?

See you.

Yeah, talk to fentruck,
but how?

This was it--

The showdown.

It was him or me

And it wasn't going to be me.

( Spurs jangling )

( Horse whinnying )

Hey, hombre.

I'm calling you out.

Are you talking to me

Good sheriff doog?

You know who
I'm talking to

And you better get
if you know what's good for you.

What mean you?

I said, get.

Git?

Git?

What means this
"git," doog?

It means... I can't write
your letter for you

And you'd better
get someone else.

Sorry, fentruck.

Huh?

This is rupturing news to hear.

Why, doog?

Because... Well, because I feel
the same way you do about...

Well, you know...

The yellow-haired girl
in front of you.

You do?

But how do you know
my sister, kavlatchie?

What's your sister got
to do with anything?

She is the girl, doog.

Kavlatchie is older than me, so
we say she sits in front of me.

You know this expression?

No.

I couldn't believe it.

The letter wasn't
for patti after all.

Fentruck, I
take it all back.

I'll be glad to write
your sister a letter.

Oh, thank you, doog.

Zwooba, zwooba.

My friend.

So fentruck didn't like patti,
what a relief.

But did patti like fentruck?

I had to find out.

Uh, patti?

Oh, hi, doug.

I was going to ask you
to be my lab partner.

What?

But you
helped fentruck

So I wanted
to help, too.

Maybe next time
we can be partners.

Sure, you can draw frogs
better than anyone.

So everything turned out okay.

Hey...
I need that!

Except for my lab project.

( Humming )

Watch it, roger!

That's not
just any air.

( Humming )

( Yells )

Funnie!

I tried to
warn you, man.

Funnie!

That's a good look
for you, roger.

( Laughter )