01x07 - Duh b*mb

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into some more fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel, or should
I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it to the top

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ Because they're always
gettin' caught ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like siegfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here it go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪♪

All right!

All right!

Thank you.
Thank you.

That's nice.

Thank y'all for
coming to the show.

Hey, y'all know
my friend kenan, right?

Thank you.
Thank you.

All right.

So how about
the same

For my friend
kel, huh?

[Girls scream]

Oh! Too kind.
Too kind.

All right.
We got a real good
show for y'all,

So why don't you
sit back and enjoy,
huh? O.k. Then.

Wait. Wait.
That's it?

What, man?

I mean,
that wasn't much of
an introduction, you know?

That was a perfectly
fine introduction.

Well, I just don't
think it was all that
entertaining!

Well, kel...

Perhaps you would
like to entertain
the audience

A little more.

Hmm. All right.

sh**t.

[Mumbling]

Give me the jacket.

[Music plays]

[Cheers and applause]

Ooooooh!

Oooooooooohhhhhhhh!

[Cheers and applause]

Oooohhhhh!

Oh.

Well, that was
interesting.

Thanks.

Yeah,
matter of fact,
gives me an idea.

I--i ain't mean
to give you an idea,
man.

Yeah. A good idea.
Why don't you come
with me, kel?

Kenan--kenan--

Kenan!

Kenan...but my legs hurt!

I got cramps!

Ken--

Oh, here it goes!

Ha! Ha ha!

That's funny!

Hey, kel, put down
the comic book

And help me change
this light bulb.

All right, man.
What you want me to do?

Get up there
and change
the light bulb.

Why do I have to
go up there?

'Cause, man,
this stool is wobbly
and it could be
dangerous.

So hop on up there.

Oh, all right.

Ho-hold me steady, now.

All right,
I got your back.

Come on, man,
just unscrew it.

O.k., Man!
[Grunts]

Come on,
just unscrew it!

I'm trying!
It won't turn!

[Telephone rings]

Hold on a second.

Hello?

Rigby's.

Yeah.

We're open
till : .

O.k.!

You better hurry up!

At : , I'm locking up
and I'm going home.

I gotta catch a bus.
It's a long way.

All right.
O.k., Bye.

Oh!!

What are you doin'?

I'm swingin'
from a light bulb!

Is it still stuck?

Yeah. Wait...

It's starting
to turn!

All right.

I got you.

Keep turning!
There you go!

There you go!i got you!

[Thud]
oh!
Aah!

Get off of me!!

Get off!!

So...

That's how many
dingbats it takes to
screw in a light bulb.

I ain't no dingbat.

Kenan!

Hey, what's up, greg?

Just getting ready
to go out tonight,
man.

Janeane knows
this club downtown
supposed to be hot!

Ooh! What club?

Outrage.
It's the coolest club
in chicago.

You guys should
come hang.

Mm-hmm.
Yeah, we should go.

All right.you know, outrage.

Sorry, guys,
they don't let
kids in.

Kids?!

We're not kids!

Well, how old
are you guys?

Uh, fif--fif--

Fif--[cough]--teen.

They're .

. How cute!

Well, maybe
you guys can go...

Ride bikes
or something.
Ha ha ha.

Sorry, man.
Ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

O.k.!

[Mumbles and whines]

Man! I can't believe
she said that!

Yeah. We're not
allowed to ride our
bikes at night.

No! She insulted us,
man!

She called us babies!

Well, you do have
baby soft skin.

Stop squeezing
my face.

Don't you see
I'm emotional?

Why? Just 'cause
we can't get
into that club?

Yeah! It's not fair!

I got it!

Bye.

Wait, man, I got an idea.

I don't wanna
hear your idea.
Ideas scare me.

Just hear me out,
all right?

I'm not sneaking
into that club.

Forget their club.

You and I are gonna
start our own club.

Where are we
gonna open up
our own club?

Nuh-uh!

Yeah.

No.
Uh-huh.

Uh-uh!

Look, we close up
every night at : ,

And the store just
sits here all alone,
sad, bored.

This is the perfect
place!

We can fix
the place up,
have cool music,
lights.

How we gonna pay
for all that?

We'll charge admission.
The club'll pay for
itself.

Naw. Chris's gonna
find out.

He won't.

I know he will.
Why?

'Cause bad things
always happen to me!

We gonna start
our own club.

I even got
the perfect name
for it.

We'll call this club

Duh b*mb!

Well, I don't wanna
be here

When duh b*mb
goes off.

You in this with me,
bro.

Gonna go put
the b*mb sign
over there.

Come on, let's go.

Let's go.
I got you, baby.
Watch out.

Ooh! Peeko att*ck!

Gotcha!

Back off!

Go to the left!
Go to the left!
There you go.

You
gotta go into
hyper drive.

What are you doin'?

Get off!
Come on, man,
push the button!

Eat the image
of peapod!
Eat the image
of peapod!

There you go.
No, no, no!

Eat the image of
peapod! Go down!
Go down!

[expl*si*n]no, no, up! Up!

Oh!

Man!

Whoo hoo! Whoo!

I told you

To eat the peapod.

I got your peapod!

Roger!

Easy, pops!

I don't need him
telling me how to
play the peeko game!

All right.
Let's get ready
for bed.

Let's go.
Good night, kenan.

Good night, kel.

Good night, mom.
Good night, pop.

Should have ate
the image of
peapod.

I don't want to eat
the peapod.

[Softly]
all right,
let's see it.

O.k.

Yeah! This is what
I'm talkin' about.
Duh b*mb!

Chicago's newest club,
ages and up.

$ . Admission.

We got the phatest
club in town.

Can I come?

Oh!
Oh!

Whoa! Ho!

Kyra!

What are you
doin' awake?

Listening to you
and kel talk about
your new club.

Shh! Are you crazy?
You almost scared us
to death.

Oh, I'm sorry,
kel.

Let me help you.

I--i'm cool.
I'm cool!

Go to bed.

Oh. O.k.

Not you!
I meant kyra!

Oh, yeah.

You don't live
here.

Can I come to
your new club?

No!

I was talkin' to kel.

Well, the answer
is still no!

O.k.

Then I guess I'll just
have to ask mom and dad

If I can go.

Kyra, how old are you?

.

Are you lookin' forward
to ?

You're squeezing
my liver!

Your liver?!

Come up here
and do this, man.

Kyra, please don't
tell your mom and
dad about our club.

O.k.?

O.k., Kel. I won't.

As long as I can
come with you.

No, kyra!

You're not coming
to our club, all right?

Mom!

[Squeals]

I-is :
o.k.?

Young man,

How much for
this cucumber?

Oh, um...cucumbers
are cents each.

Let me get that.

Fine.

...

... ...

Whew...

... ...

[Sighs]
oh, I am...

...

--

No, no, no.

Wait a minute.

...

...

What's up?

Hey. Chris here?

Naw, come here.

Oh, man...

My feet!

So how many fliers
did you hand out?

I don't know.
About... , Oo.

Ah!

Oh!

Man,
that smells like
you handed out

About
or , ,
brother.

I don't believe it!

Hey, I can't help
how my feet smell,
all right?

No, no!
Look over there!

What, she steal
something?

No! She's fine!

Oh, my...

She--she's coming
this way!

.

Hi.

Hel-lo!
Hel-lo!

Cute feet!

Thanks!

So what's your name?

Lee ann.

[Singsong]
lee ann!

Mm-hmm!

Listen, can one of
you guys tell me

Where I might be able
to find the orange soda?

Y-y-you like
orange soda?

Oh, I looove
orange soda.

I love orange soda.

Well, this is
a conversation

You don't hear
every day.

Let me show you
where it's at.

There you go.
Oh, perfect.

See...i just
broke up with
my boyfriend,

So I'm just
realthirsty.

I know what you
mean. Ha ha!

Can I feel your head?

Huh?

I'm into phrenology.

It's when you find out
about someone

By feeling the lumps
on their head.

You gonna feel
his head lumps?

Can i?

My lumps...
Are your lumps.

Great. Thanks!

Ooh!

I sense you're
very, very
smart.

Ah ha!

You better feel again!

Ho ho hoo!

Oh!

I feel you're
lonely.

Yeah, it's real lonely
in that head.

I am lonely.

Me, too.

That's all.

How much for
the orange soda?

Oh, no charge.

No charge?!

Well, bye-bye.

Kel...go.

Uh...lee ann.

Yes?

You mind passing
out some of
these fliers?

Man! Kel! Um...

Lee ann, I think what
kel meant to say

Was, uh, would you
mind coming to our
club this friday night?

You guys have
your own club?

Oh, sure.

It's called...
Duh b*mb.

Friday night.

You can get in free.

O.k. Cool.

See you friday.

Yeah, maybe you can
feel my lumps again.

Oh...you can
count on it.

Ha ha. Let me
help you with
the door.

All right.
You go, girl.

You can keep
the basket. Ha ha!

Man, you are
set up!

Mm-hmm!
She is fine!!

We gonna get caught.

We are not
gonna get caught.

I got chris wrapped
around my little
finger.

I know where he is
at all times. I got
this under control.

Are you sure?

Aah!
Yeah, I'm sure.
See--aah!

You were saying?

Chillin'...

That's all.
Chillin'...

You know,
keepin' low.

Mm-hmm. You know,
that's right.

I'll be in back.

All right,
chris.

I gotcha!

Yeah, you wish,
punk!

Let's go!
Right now! Come on!

You haven't squirt
me yet!

Excuse me.

Ex-cuse me.

Hey!

Can you please

Stop playing with
your squirt g*ns
in my store?

Thank you.

How much for
this candy?

Cents.

Now!

Ah ha...

Ah...

Oh, ho ho...

Y'all are real funny.

Y'all some wild boys.

Have y'all ever seen
one of...

These?

Say hello
to my little friend!

Oh!
Ah!

Get outta
my store!

Get outta here!!

Y'all come back
now, ya hear?

Hey, how'd it go?
Did you get
everything?

Yeah, I got everything.
It's in the alley.

All right. Cool.
Now we just gotta
get rid of chris.

How we gonna
do that?

[Muttering]

I love you, teddy.

Chris!!
Chris!!

Oh, don't touch
the nuggets!!

Easy, chris,
easy, easy.

What happened?
You
overslept.

Yeah, it's already : .

What? Oh, I gotta
go home and feed mother!

All right.
You go ahead.
I'll lock up.

If mother calls,
tell her I'm on my way,

And tell her I picked up
her teeth.

He's gone!

All right. You make sure
the place gets set up, o.k.?

I'll be back
as soon as I can.

Where you goin'?

I gotta get kyra!

Kyra.

Kyra!

[Loud whisper]
where have you
been?

I've been busy.
Why aren't you ready?

Mother: hurry, roger!

I'm hurrying.

Oh, kenan,
you're home. Good.

Listen, there's
a turkey in the oven,

And make sure kyra
is asleep by : .

Right. Kyra's
in the oven, make sure
the turkey's asleep
by : .

Kenan...

I'm just playin'.

I got it. Go. Have fun!

Kenan, it was
very sweet of you

To offer to baby-sit
your little sister.

Oh, hey...what are
big brothers for?

Can we go?
The snyders don't
like it when we're late.

Be good.o.k. Bye, kids.
Have fun.

Bye, mom.
Bye, dad.

Let's go.

Kyra!

This ain't
a halloween party.

So why are you
wearing that
ugly mask?

Ah ho ho ho ho!

Ugly mask!

So what are you
all dressed up for?

For kel.

Oh, man!

You're just too much!

I'm ready.

Ahem.

Oh, my bad, my bad.

Let me get
the door for you.

After you,
miss ma'am!

Wow!

Whoa ho ho!

Check it out!

Kel!

Hey, man, have you
blown up all these
balloons!

We've done everything.

He's been blowin' up
that same balloon
for half an hour.

Ha ha ha! I did it!

Why?!!

It's o.k., Man.

It lived a happy life.

Hi, kel.

Ooh! Look at you!
Ha ha!

Look at you.

O.k., Kyra,
let's get this straight.

Tonight you are to
stay in the back room.
Do you understand?

Are you crazy?

Do you see
this dress I'm wearing?

Iam dancing
with kel.

Kyra, we not arguin'
about this.

Kenan, kenan...

I'd consider it
an honor...

To dance with kyra.

Is it hot in here?

[Music plays]

Appreciate it, bro.

Keep playin'
the music, g.

All right.
All right.

How you doing?
You need anything?
Need any help?

I'm gonna help you out
later on tonight.

Hey, how you doing?

You need anything?
You need any help?

How y'all enjoying
the club?

Thanks for coming.
Thank you very much.

How you doin', girl?
Keep smilin'.

Great club, kenan.

Thank you very much.

Kel...

Kel!

I'm ready to dance.

Kyra, I thought
I told you to stay
in the back.

Don't you have
something to do?

Yeah.
Get rid of you.

We'll dance later,
o.k., Kyra?

O.k., Kel.

What's up?

Ooh! Lee ann!

How you doin'?

Cool club.

Wanna feel
my head lumps?

I'd rather dance.

O.k. Go ahead.

With you, kel.

Wha--

Oh, cool!

Excuse me.

You call that dancin',

Or are your panties
too tight?

Hey!

Can we put this
back, please?

You gotta pay for it.
Thank you very much.

And I don't
remember telling you
you could eat
the creamed corn.

Get to dancin'.
Thank you very much!

Yo!

Gimme that salami,
man.

I don't remember
tellin' you
you can have
a free salami.

This is a night club,
not a all-you-can-eat
buffet!

Kel, I got us
orange sodas.

Why don't you
get a hobby?

Kyra, we'll finish
dancing later, o.k.?

Man, what the--

Excuse me, I'm trying
to go over--

Dude, would you stop
dancin' at me like that?

Stop moving!
What is all that stuff
in your face?

Crazy!

Kel, how'd the boy
with the pins

Get up in here?

[Laughs]
I don't know.

Yeah.

Ha...

What the--

Look at this!

Aw, you sat on
a pizza!

Oh...

She did this.

Your little
girlfriend...

Uh-uh. She not
my girlfriend.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Let me help you
with that.

Ooh!

[Gasps] oh, stop
squirting me!

Where's the bathroom?

Back there.

Ha ha!

Lee ann: hey!

What's going on?!

Ha ha!

Let me out of here,
you little--

Let me out now!!

[Electric sizzling]

[Crowd complains]

Yo, yo, what is
the problem?

Uh...

Ha ha ha...

Ha ha ha!

Um...

Ladies and gentlemen,

Thank you all for comin'
out to duh b*mb tonight.

We got a special
treat for you.

Kel, come take the mike.

What?!

Kel, take the mike!

Go, kel!

Yeah!

G-go, kel!

Go, kel, go, kel,

Go, kel, go, kel...

Come on, man,
sing something!

Go, kel, go, kel,

Go, kel, go, kel...

Uh...how many of y'all
like orange soda?

[Confusion]

Everybody say o-range.

[Without spirit]
o-range.

Say o-range!

[Stronger]
o-range.

Say so-da!

So-da!

Say so-da!

So-da!

Now scream!

Aaah!

Oh, yeah, uh!

♪ Let me tell you a little
somethin' 'bout a orange drink ♪

♪ It's cold, carbonated,
and it sure ain't pink ♪

♪ So forget about your coffee
and your sausage link ♪

♪ 'Cause orange soda's in time,
and it's time to drink ♪

♪ Orange soda

♪ Orange soda

♪ Oh, yeah, uh

♪ And now wave your cans
in the air ♪

♪ I said wave your cans
in the air ♪

♪ Wave 'em like
you just don't care! ♪

♪ And if you like livin'
in chicago ♪

♪ Let me hear you say,
hoo, yeah! ♪

♪ Hoo, yeah!

♪ Hoo, yeah!

♪ Hoo, yeah! ♪

Hey!!

What happened
to my store?!

Why are people waving
orange soda in the air

As if they just
don't care?!

Hey, bucks
to get in, dude.

Hush up.
This is my store.

Take those pins
outta your head.

All right!

Everybody listen up.

Who are you?

Fire marshal.

Now who owns
this place?

I do.

Well, looks like
I'm gonna have to

Shut down your club.

Why?

Because this building's
only supposed to have

People in it at once!
Looks like you got...

Far more than .

Here.

What's this?

A fine.
For bucks.

Fire marshal
assistant: all right,
everybody move!

O.k. Come on,
kel, kyra.

All right,
bye, chris!

Kenan,
come back here!
Kenan! Ooh!

Who touched me?!

Who touched my pants?!

This is supposed to be
a grocery store,

Not a circus!

All right!

Thank you.
Thank you
very much.

Well, that's our
show for tonight.

Who had a good time?

[Cheers and applause]

All right. Cool.

It's just too bad
our club didn't
work out, you know?

Yeah. It's too bad
we gotta pay that
$ fine, too.

Yeah.

See...we'll just
make it up when we
reopen duh b*mb!

What? The fire marshal
shut us down...remember?

Temporarily.

See, all we gotta do
now is find another
place that holds
more people,

And we are right back
in business!

Kenan, forget about
the club, man.

No! We owe it to
the people

To provide a fun
place to hang out.

Don't you agree?!

[Cheers and applause]

No, you don't.
Put 'em down.

You know,
that gives me
an idea.

I know a fun place
we can hang out.

Why don't everybody
get up, come with me?

No, no,
that's not right.

Sit down.
W-w-where you going?

Kenan, you can't take

The audience with you.
That's not right.

Ken--aw, here it goes!

Why?!!