01x14 - In the Line of Kenan

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into some more fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel, or should
I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it to the top

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ Because they're all
the same call ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like siegfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪♪

Thank you.

Yeah!

Right, right.

What a crowd,
what a crowd.

Why don't you start off
with the introduction?

All right, cool.

My name is kenan
and this is kel.

Welcome to the show,
y'all.

[Cheers]

All right, all right.

And now we'd like
to welcome anybody
who happens to be french.

[Speaking french]

When did you learn
how to speak french?

I know a lot of things.

O.k. All right,
mr. Show-off.

Maybe you wouldn't
mind if I took
a moment

To welcome
our swedish audience
members.

Understand
what I'm saying?

Check this out,
check this out.

[Making up swedish]

That's me.

That's me.

O.k. Not--not bad.

But why don't
we welcome our
japanese friends.

[Speaking japanese]

Hey, man.
Hey, man.

Did you just say...

[Speaking japanese]

Did you just
say that?

Yeah. Why?

That reminds me
of something
we gotta do.

You know
what I'm saying?

Why don't you
come this way, kel?

Kenan.

Kenan!

We're not done.

What about
the canadians?

Kenan!

Ohhh!

[Speaking spanish]

I mean,

Oh, here it goes!

♪ Nicey icy freeze

♪ Slush-o, slush-o,
cold and wet and sweet ♪

Kenan, will you
please stop singing

That annoying
slush-o jingle?

Shh, chris!

Don't go badmouthing
slush-os.

♪ Slush-o, slush-o,
the nicey icy treat ♪

Bing!

♪ Slush-o, slush-o,
cold and wet and sweet! ♪

Kenan!

♪ Slush-o...

Kenan! Did you finish
fixing that machine yet?

Oh. Yeah, this oughta
do it right here.

There,
give it a try.

Careful.

Delivery.

Oh, hi, dave.

What's up, dave?

Here's your cases
of orange soda.

Cases!

That's right.why so much
orange soda?

That's what
you ordered.

We did not.did so.

There must be
some mistake, dave.

No, there mustn't.

I'm gonna get
a slush-o.

Hey! What's up,
everybody?

Oh.

Kel...

I know you don't
work here, but...

Did you order
o cases of
orange soda?

I-i don't recall.

Let me
handle this.

Kel,

Who loves
orange soda?

K-k-kel

Loves orange soda.

Is it true?

Mmm-hmmm.

I do, I do, I do.

I do-ooh.

And did kel
order cases
of orange soda?

Hmm?!

I did!

I did, I did, I did,

I di-id!

You want me
to sign this?

I do, I do, I do,

I do-oo.

Pretty.

Yeah.

O.k., Guys,
I have finished
the sign.

Have you uh...

What?!

What's wrong?

I told you
to make a display,

Not build some--
orangeatorium!

It's a castle.

Never mind.

Uh--can I help y'all
find something?

Why are you all
dressed the same?

Stop talking.

I want to speak
to the man in charge.

Oh, so I'm not
important enough

For you to talk to?

Why? Just 'cause
I'm a kid,

You think
I can't handle
the situation?

Ha ha! Set 'em
straight, kenan.

I'll tell
you what, bro.

As long as you see
me and my boy
behind this counter,

You talking to
the man in charge!

Ha!

That's my man
goin' down!

[Tapping feet]

What?

I'm agent
jeffrey a. Levinson,

Federal bureau
of security.

Chris!

Chris!

Who are you people?

We're with
the federal
security bureau.

Doesn't the fsb work
directly for the president?

Of the united states?

What you've said
is exactly correct.

So, how's
the pres doing?

You can ask him yourself.
He's right outside.

Oh. Did y'all
hear that?

The man said
the president is
right outside.

The president
is right outside!

Please don't
spaz out on me!

Remain calm!

Thank you.
Now pay attention.

The president of
the united states
is here in chicago

To have a meeting
with the mayor.

Oh, I heard that
on the news this morning.

I have a radio
in my car.

We're giving
the president a tour
of this area,

And he would like
to come in here,

Perhaps purchase
a beverage,

And meet some
average normal people.

Oh, does that mean
kel has to leave?

[Imitating sarcastically]
does that mean
kel has to leave?

Building secure?

Bring in the president.

I can't
believe this.

The president
of the united states.

In my store!

There stands the most
distinguished, powerful leader

Of the free world!

Hey, slush-os!
Out of my way.

Wait!

Mm-mm.

My, that is
some good slush-o.

I-i fixed
the machine myself.

What's your name,
young fella?

K-ke...

Ke...

Nice to meet you,
kiki.

What's your name?

My--m-m-my...

Sharona.

Hello, sharona.

Do you own
this store?

N-n-no. I--i...

I have a radio
in my car.

Whatever.

Hey, check out the groovy
orange soda display.

Wow.

Hey, hey, hey!
Mr. President!
Look out!

[Everything in
slow motion]

Noooo, kel!

What the...

Back away!
Don't touch the president!

Get him out of here.
Move! Move!

[Siren]

[Car screeching away]

Hey! That kid saved
the president's life!

What's your name?
Who are you?

His name is kiki!

Kiki!

Kiki, how does it feel
to be a hero?

Kiki, how do you feel?

Well, I feel like
going--to the hospital.

I'm kurt loder
with mtv news.

Once again, the president
of the united states today

Barely escaped
serious injury

At a small
chicago grocery store

Thanks to the quick actions
of a teenage hero.

Let's take a look at
the videotaped footage

Once again.

Noooo, kel!

As you can see,

The president is literally
shoved out of harm's way

Just as a display of
orange soda cans collapses,

Wreaking havoc on
the president's young rescuer,

Known only as "kiki."

Kenan!

My name is kenan!

Why can't they get
my name right?

The important thing is

That you saved
the life of the president.

We are
very proud of you.

Yes, we are.

Excuse me!

Kenan has a visitor.

No more visitors.

Kenan needs
to get his rest.

All right.
I'll tell the president.

Oh!

Uh-uh-uh...

I believe I have
a few minutes with
the president.

All right, ps and qs,
everybody.

Act like we've been
somewhere before.

Wait.
How's my hair?

Evening everybody.

Evening.

M-m-m-mr.--
Mr. President.

Oh--oh.

It's a pleasure
to meet you, sir.

The pleasure
is all mine.

You must be
kiki's parents.

Yes.

It's kenan!

Don't backtalk
the president, kiki.

I'm uh...

I'm cheryl rockmore,
and this is my husband...

He mea...

I think I get it.

Yes.

How are you feelin',
son?

Not bad.
How are you feeling?

I feel fantastic,

Thanks to you.

Hi, sharona.

[Babbling
incoherently]

I know what you mean.

Look, I can't
stay long, kiki.

I just wanted to come by
and express my appreciation

And give you
this little gift.

It's a medal.
Wow.

That's all
you brought?

That is the presidential
medal of honor.

Read the back.

To kiki.

Thanks for
saving my life.

If you're ever
in washington,

Come by the white house
and say "hey."

Your pal, the president
of the united states of america.

[Whispered]
wow.

So, you didn't, like,
bring any video games
or something?

Sharona,
you nutbar.

It just so happens that
I'll be in washington
next month

On a business trip.

Maybe I can come by
the white house.

No, thanks.

Look, I gotta
get back to
the white house.

You sure you're not
gonna eat the rest
of your sandwich?

Well...

Thanks, kik.
Gotta go.

Thanks, everybody.
Good night.

I can't believe
we just met the president!

I can't believe
he gave our son a medal.

I can't believe
the man ate my sandwich.

It was sitting
right on the tray.

What are
you boys doing?

Homework!

We've got
a lot of homework.

Homework on
a friday night?

That's wonderful.

Why are we doing
homework on
a friday night?

Hand me the remote.

Evening, family.

Pop, you want to
take kel and I

To the movies
tonight?

No. I've got to get
to bed early tonight.

Remember,
your father's leaving
for washington tomorrow

For the weekend.

Pop!

Can kel and I go
to washington
with you tomorrow?

Huh?

For what?

Come on, pop.

The president
invited us to
the white house.

It says so right here
on the back of my medal.
Remember?

Kenan, I don't think
he really meant that.

Yes, he did!

The president
of the united states

Would not say something
if he didn't
really mean it!

Pop, please.

Does kel have to come?

No.

Yes! Please,
can we go?

Please.

Cheryl?

If it's o.k.
With you
and kel's parents,

Then it's o.k.
With me.

There, pop.

We leave at a.m.

Yes!

Kel, pack your bag!

We're going
to washington.

But I'm afraid
of airplanes.

[In whiny voice]
you're afraid
of everything.

Name one other thing
I'm afraid of!

Pancakes.

Butterflies.

Brassieres!

Stop scaring the boy.

All right,
all right.

But kel,
tomorrow, you and I

Are going
with my daddy to
washington d.c.

So we can visit
the president at
the white house.

Washington,
here we come.

[Buzzer]

Come in.

Yes, margaret?

Mr. President,
uh--there are
people to see you.

I don't have
a meeting scheduled.

I know, sir,

But they insist
on seeing you.

Oh, let us in, man!

Gentlemen,
I told you to wait.

Kiki, sharona!

President!

Oh, I missed you!

But sir!

Cool out, margaret.
These are friends of mine.

Yeah, cool out,
margaret.

Take a nap.

Um--what do you want?

Oh. Well, see,

On the back of
the medal you gave me,

You told me to
stop by the white house

If I was ever in town.

Here we are.

Why don't I show you
around a little bit?

O.k., Cool.

Um--this here
is the oval office.

Wow.

This is a pretty
cool place.

Hey, you want cool?

I'll show you cool.

Push that book
right there in
the middle of the shelf.

What, this book
right here?

Yeah.

Ooooh!

What's that for?

That's a secret
hiding place.

In case there's
any trouble here
at the white house,

All I have to do
is just

Duck right in here.

Wow, that's
pretty cool.

Don't forget,
you know,

Bob dole
came in here
and i...

[Cracking sound]

M-m-my bad.

Yeah, that really
was bad.

Let's move on,
shall we?

Now this is a carving
of abraham lincoln.

Mrs. Lincoln carved
the whole thing herself
by hand.

Man,
that is really...

Really...

Whoo! Not very good.

Pretty bad, huh?

She carved that
by hand?

You sure she didn't
do it with her feet?

You know,
despite its hideousness,

This head is valued
at over $ million.

What?

Oooh.

Let's take a look
at the stuff down here.

Whoa! That's a picture
of you and michael jordan!

That's right.

And that's a picture
of me in the cockpit
of an f .

Hey, is that
a picture of
you and elvis!

That's right.

That's me
and the king of rock 'n roll,
elvis presley.

That was taken
the day before...

Elvis passed away.

It's one of a kind.

[Phone ringing]

Oh, excuse me.
That's the red phone.

The red phone?

Yes?

What's the situation?

O.k., I'll be
right there.

Excuse me, fellas.

I have to go
take care of
a little problem.

You just sit and wait,
and I'll be right back.

O.k., Cool.

Take your time.

Man!
Do you believe
that we're standing

In the middle
of the oval office?

Hey, hey, hey.

Let's check out
that secret door again.

All right, cool.
Come on.

It's clear.

Yes.

Out of my way!

I will see him right now!

You see?
He's not even here.

I demand to see
your president
immediately!

King deca,
why don't you sit down,

And I'll have
a white house representative

Join you here to
discuss your problems?

Send someone quickly.

Whoo, man!

That was fun!

Yeah, we gotta get
one of those.

It's about time!
I am extremely upset!

Upset with who?

The guy who
sold you that hat!

You know you got
a pine cone on top?

Stop laughing!

I am king deca
of the island
of pinacone.

Yeah? So what's
your problem,
deca?

Deca.

Your president
promised my country
great sums of money!

Yet we have nothing!

I demand money!

I got about $ . .

I got about a quarter.

Dats coot!

Uh--we don't know
what "dats coot" means,

But you say
your country needs cash?

Well, um...

How would
you like to have

This carved head
of abraham lincoln?

It is
butt ugly.

It's worth $ million.

You know,
it's not so bad.

Take it.

There you go.

I don't know
what to say.

Thank you!

Thank you so much!

Thank you!

Achnish!

Hey, yeah, achnish...

To you, too!

Well, I handled that
kinda well, huh?

Yeah.

Hey, wait,
you should
be president.

I should be president,
shouldn't i?

I can be president.

Check this out,
check this out.

Say hello
to president kenan.

Commissioner,
oh, you nutbar.

He hung up.

Oh, wow.
Man, this is cool!

Too bad nobody's
gonna believe us

When we tell them
about all this.

Oh, man.

We should take
a souvenir with us
when we go

So we'll have proof.

Yeah, that's true.

What can we take?

Ha ha. Yeah.
I got it.

Kenan.

You can't take
the picture

Of the president
and elvis.

We're not gonna take it.

We're gonna make
a copy of it.
Come on.

What? Kenan.

Be careful.

I know
what I'm doing.

Push that red button
right there.

Kenan!

What?

This isn't
a very good copy.

It's not
a copy machine!

It's a shredder!

Oh!

We shredded elvis.

Why?! Oh!

We gotta fix this.

O.k.

Oh, man!

♪ The knee bone connected
to the stomach bone ♪

♪ The neck bone connected
to the knee bone ♪

♪ Mama gonna buy me
a mockingbird ♪

Wait.

Do you think
the president
will notice?

President:
♪ slush-o slush-o,
the nicey icy treat ♪

Here he comes.

Oh, oh, oh!

Quick!

Oh!

Hey, kenan.

You nutbars.

Hey, I brought us back
an extra large pizza

With over
different toppings.

I call this...

The presidential
pie.

Cool.

Well, what are
we waiting for?

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

[Shouting]

There is something
we have to address
right now.

I am a king!

President:
hey, hey, hey!

I'm in the middle
of pizza.

Mr. President,
we caught king deca

Trying to steal
abraham lincoln's head.

I steal nothing!

Them!

Them
give it!

King deca, I'm shocked.

Get him out of here.

Swine's poop!

Can you believe
that guy?

You know, you could
never trust pinaconis.

Let's not let it
affect our pizza.

Come on, dig in.

My security men
will take care
of that king.

Mmm.

King, ha ha.

Isn't that what
they used to call elvis?

Ow!

Before elvis d*ed,
he...

He called me
and he...

Kiki?!

Sharona?!