02x10 - Haven't Got Time for the Paint

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there,
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into some more fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel, or should
I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it to the top

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ Because they always
getting caught ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like siegfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here it go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪

[Cheering and applause]

Oh, thank you very much!

Thank you for choosing
the kenan and kel show

For your
viewing pleasure.

I am kenan...

[Cheering and applause]

And I'm kel.
Ha ha ha!

Uh, kel, what--?
No, no, never mind.

I'm not even
gonna ask.

Come on, don't you
want to know why I'm
wearing this suit?

Come on, ask me.
Come on.

All right, kel...

Why are you wearing
a bathrobe?

It's not a bathrobe.

I'm a karate man! Unh!

Watch!

[Grunting]

What is with you?
Do you have a hamster
in your underpants?

That's why you
were doing this--
oh, oh, oh...

Get the hamster to--

No, no, no.
You're just jealous
because I'm...

A karate man.

Ok, man.

Want to see
a demonstration?

Are you crazy?

Come on. Come on!
Try to grab a karate man.

No.

Come on. You scared
to grab a karate man?

Ha ha ha!

Oh, all right,
I guess I'll just
grab you like this...

Oh! Wait a minute!
Wait--you're doing it wrong!

Well, what
am I doing wrong?

Let me down!oh, all right.

You did it
all wrong.

Sorry. Now can we
start the show?

No. Try to hit me
in the nose.

No!

Come on!
Hit a karate man
in the nose!

Kel, I am not punching
you in the nose.

Oh, ok. Well, uh,
check this out.

What?

I'm gonna do a back kick
with a jibber-jabber twist.

A back--i don't think
you can do that--

With a jibber-jabber
twist! All right!

Jibber-jabber twist--?

Aaah!

Oh...oooh!

Now look what
you did.

You cracked
the lens. Ooh!

Oh, that's unfortunate.

That's an unfortunate
accident. Look at that.

Oh, man!

Come on, brother.

We got a television
program to do, ok?

This way.
Giddyap, paco.

Yah!

That's some good thumping, boy.
That's some good thumping.

B-b-but--paco?
Paco?

Kenan, don't tease
a karate man. Unh!

Uh, kenan? Come on,
you're getting me
all disoriented.

Kenan!
Aw, here it goes.

Paint, children.

Paint.

Paint from your hearts

And paint
from your souls.

Feel the paint.

Be the paint.

Become one
with the paint.

Pretend your name
is painty mcpaint.

Oh, I am
painty mcpaint.

Look at me go, boy!

Shhh!

I'm trying
to concentrate.

Oh, my name is janet,
and I can only paint
in a world of silence.

Blooo!

[Humming]

Hey, I got some more
red paint.

Oh, very good, kel.
Continue painting.

Ok.

Oh, you got a spot
on your shoulder there.

Where?

Right there--

[Gasps]

Look!
Look at me!

Hey, janet,
you got some paint
on your shoulder.

Miss smock,
kel got paint
on my shoulder.

Excellent! Become one
with the paint.

Now, we only have
minutes left in class.

Let's have a look-see.
Kenan?

Oh, all right,
well, um...

It's kind of...
Supposed to be like a...

A bunny rabbit.

[Students giggling]

Stop laughing,
painters!

We do not laugh at
other painters' work.

Kenan, I'm sure
you have an explanation

As to why
this bunny rabbit
is so misshapen.

Oh, yeah...
Yes, ma'am.

Um, well, see,

It's not just
a bunny rabbit, right?

It's a bunny rabbit
eating a trombone.

See? Yeah.

And standing on top
of an avocado.

Look, right, see?
See the avo--

And the little
blue tail...

And the greenness, see?
Yeah, that's it.

I see.
Very interesting.

So you like it?

No. Not at all.
Janet?

This is my piece.
I call it "flower
in a pot of soil."

You should have called
it "janet in a pot of
no talent" ha ha ha!

Man, that's funny.

Janet--ha ha!
With a pot--
ha ha ha!

All right, giggle-puss.
Show us your painting,
why don't you?

Yes, kel.
Let's see your work.

Well, all right.

[Muttering]

Yeah!

Wow!

Ha ha ha!

I call it
"sunset...funset"!

Kenan: ah, kel,
that's good!

That's very good.

Kel, that is an
excellent painting.

That is fine,
fine work.

How did you
paint that?

Oh, well, you know,

I just stuck
the paint brush
in the paint and...

Voila!

[Gasping]

Hey, janet,
you got some paint
on your glasses there.

I know!

Hey, kenan, what's up?

Hey, kel, what you
got there, brother?

You know,
my painting.

The one I got
a b-plus on.

Why did you bring your
painting to the store?

Because I'm proud of it,
and I want to show chris.

Oh, kel, your painting
isn't thatgood.

Man, it's better than
that painting you did of
a diseased bunny rabbit.

Hey, hey, hey...

My bunny rabbit
was not diseased.

It was unique.

Man, that bunny looked like
it came out of a blender.

Hey, guys,
what's the haps?

Haps?
Haps?

Must you always
make fun of me?

Yes.
Yeah.

Oh!

Hey, chris,
check it out.

Wow, that's terrif.
Who's the artist?

Me. Ha ha ha!

You?

Yeah. I painted it
in art class.

Wow. I'm impressed.
I always thought you
were talentless.

Man...thanks!

All right, kel,
now put your painting
away before you get--

Woman: excuse me.

I couldn't help
noticing your painting.

Oh, again
with the painting!

Oh, well, i--
I painted it myself.

I call it "sunset...
Funset"!

Really?

Well, is it for sale?

Well, my painting?
Sell it? I don't know
if I can--

I'll give you
$ for it.

Sold, sold, and sold!

$ !

For kel's painting?

Well, yes.
I think it's quite good.

I mean, I just can't
believe that

You would want to
put kel's painting
in your house.

You know, I am
standing here.

Well, you see,
I'm not going to
hang it in my house.

I work for an art gallery.

We're having a big
auction this weekend,

And I'm going to
put this up for sale.

And I bet I make
a lot of money on it.

Wait, wait, wait.

So, you think that you
can sell that painting

For more than $
at the auction?

Oh, I think so.

Can we come
to the auction?

Sure. It's this
saturday night

At art one gallery
on third street.

Cool!
We'll be there.

All right.
Oh, and thanks for
the lovely painting.

Thanks for
the lovely $ !

Ha ha ha!

Whoo!

Man: the auction
is about to begin.

Everyone,
please take your seat...

But not too far now!
Ha ha ha!

Woman: all right,

Our first piece of art
up for sale is called
"sad turtle."

Artist, amy ziedel.

Ooh, man,
I love sad turtles!

Oh, doesn't everyone?

We have a sad turtle,
a very sad turtle,
a very depressed turtle.

Who'll start
the bidding at $ ?

I have ,
thank you, sir,
who'll give me ?

$ For the--

!

Auctioneer: --
I have . ?

Kenan: what
are you doing?

Man, I'm buying
that sad turtle.

Kel, you don't have
$ to spend on
unhappy swamp creatures.

Brother, you can't
just stick your hand
up in the air like--

$ , From the young man
in the front.

What!? Huh? No!
I don't--i wasn't
doing it.

The bid is , --
$ , . Who will
give me , ?

$ , , Ladies and gentlemen,
for the melancholy turtle.

, !

, .

Stop that!

Man, that turtle
is magnificent.

[Squeals]

The bid is , --
$ , .

Who will bid
, , , ?

$ , .

Good gracious!

Mr. Kensington
has bid $ ,
for the sad turtle.

Do I hear , ?

You don't hear--
you don't hear , !

Is that young man
trying to bid?

Oh, no, he's just
having a spasm,
that's all.

I see. Very well.
Sold to mr. Kensington
for $ , .

Woman: thank you.

Our next painting is
called "sunset funset."
Artist, kel kimball.

Whoo!
Yah!

Boy, now that's
a painting
right there!

[Humming]

Please!

Hey!

Hey!

We have a sunset here.
Very sunsetty...

Very funsetty.

I think it's
scrumptious!

Who'll start
the bidding off
at , $ ?

I have $ ,
thank you very much.

? ?
In the back.
Thank you.

? ?
I have $ .

? ?
On the left,
thank you very much.

$ , .

$ , , Thank you
very much, sir.
Do I hear , ?

I have ,
in the rear,
thank you. , ?

Kenan!
Kel!

Man, these people
are bidding over $ ,
for my painting!

I know. I can't believe
you sold it for only .

Who knew?

And who will bid , ?
$ , ? , ?

$ , .

$ , .

$ , !

, .

Kel! These people
are bidding $ ,
for your painting!

, !

, .

Ladies and gentlemen,
the bid is , , $ , .

Do I hear , ?

, ?

$ , .

Somebody
pinch me!

Whoo! Now, that
just takes the cake!

Ladies and gentlemen,
mr. Kensington has bid
$ ,

For kel kimball's
"sunset, funset."

Going once...

Going twice...

Sold to mr. Kensington
for $ , .

We'll take
a -minute break.
Thank you.

Man: back in
minutes, people.

Oh! Oooh!

Ooh!
Ooh!

[Screeching]

$ , !
$ , !

[Laughing]

[Cheering]

Kel, do you know
what this means?

Yeah, that I'm
more popular than
that sad turtle.

No! Well...yeah,
but that's not the point.

Then what?

Don't you get it?

You're an artistic genius!

Well, thank you.

Yeah! We gonna be
rich and famous.

Well, how?

How? Kel, if you paint
more like that,

That's
half a million dollars.

I can make
half a million
dollars painting?

Yeah! Well, minus
my management fee
of %.

Whoo!

That's cool, man.
Let's celebrate with
some hors d'oeuvres.

Forget the snacks,
brother.

With all the cash
we're about to make
on this here,

We can buy our own
snack factory.

Ha ha ha!

Hi, kel.

Kenan?

Kenan's not here.

Where is he?

He went to go
get me some more

Art supplies
so I can focus
on my paintings.

Why don't you
paint yourself a map
to your house?

Me?!

Yeah,
hush, roger.

So, what are you
painting, kel?

Well, I call it
"nightmare of evil."

"Nightmare of evil."

Well,
let me see.

Ok.

Hey! That's me!

You think?

A man can recognize
his own head, cheryl.

Well, how do you
like it?

I don't!

Well!

Ok, ok, let's just
go upstairs.

Yeah, let's go.

Uh-uh-uh.
Not you, kel.

Oh.

Come on, roger.

Yeah, go on,
roger!

Roger: a man shouldn't
have to be painted

As a nightmare of evil
in his own home, cheryl!

Hey, kel,
I'm back.

How's the painting
coming?

I'm finished
with this one.
Can I go play now?

No, no, no, no play.

You got to paint.
Now help me.

I got you some
more easels and
some more paint

And brushes and
turpentine and
a bologna sandwich.

Thank you.

There's a bite
out of this sandwich!

Oh. I love
the bologna.

Ha ha ha!

Now, come on, man,
you can eat after you
paint more paintings.

Let's go! The world
is waiting on great art.

And my bank account
is waiting on half a million
dollars. Ha ha ha!

Now, paint!

All right!

Paint like the wind!

All right!

[Snoring]

Whoo!

Hey, kel?

[Sputtering]

Kel?

Kel!

I'm painting!
I'm painting!

G-g-g-good.
How much more
do you have to go?

Just this.

[Squeaks]

There. Fini.

Good.
So, you're finished?

Yeah, this is
number .

I'm all done.
You want to
look at them?

No, no, no. I got
some phone calls
to make.

[Humming]

Yes. Is this
the chicago fun times
newspaper?

All right. Well,

There's going to be
a major art auction
on friday. Uh-huh.

At, uh...
Rigby's grocery store.

Yeah. Illinois drive.

Right. Tell everybody. Ok.

We're having an auction?

Yeah, and I'm telling
every newspaper in town

To make sure that
everybody in the art world
knows about it.

But what if they
don't like my paintings?

Oh, hush!

Kenan:
people, people...

Good evening,
one and all.

Welcome to the kel kimball
art auction.

The auction will begin
in a few moments,

So until then, please
help yourselves to some
drinks and snacks--

Hors d'oeuvres.

Ha ha ha!

What?

I don't see
any hors d'oeuvres.

Looky here,
you're in a grocery.

Help yourselves
to the shelves.

Oh, cheese
and crackers!

[All talking excitedly]

Kenan, you're just
giving away my foodstuffs?

Man, I will pay you back
with the half a million
dollars we make.

Ok? All right, now,

I better go
check on kel.

Hey, kel,
you ready?

No, I'm nervous.

Don't be nervous.

All those people out there
are waiting to spend a
fortune on your paintings.

And that
makes me queasy.

Excuse me. Are these
all the paintings?

Why, yes, ma'am.
The auction will begin
in a few minutes.

That's what I wanted
to discuss with you.

I was wondering if
perhaps I might purchase

One of mr. Kimball's
paintings now,

Before the auction begins.

Ok!

No.

But I am willing
to offer you $ ,

For any one
of these paintings.

Whooooh!

Aaaah!

[Shouting "sold!"]

I'm sorry, but you'll
have to wait until
the auction begins. Bye.

Oh, poop!

Now, look at that.
You made her say,
"oh, poop!"

What's wrong with you?
Are you crazy?

Are you?

That distinguished woman
was going to offer us $ ,

For any one of
my paintings.

So, kel,
that's nothing.

Last time I checked,
$ , was a little
something-something!

Kel, I invited the guy
that bought your first
painting. Remember?

Waldorf kensington,
the rich guy?

Man, he'll pay times
what that lady will for
one of your paintings.

Oh.

Yeah.

Guys!

Mr. Kensington is here.

[Squeals]

Kel, let the auction
begin!

Come on.
Prepare to be
rich and famous.

And queasy. Oh!

You know, my mother
ironed my pants.

Excellent.

[Chuckles]

Ah, mr. Kensington,
how nice of you
to come, sir.

Thank you
for having me.

I'm ready to purchase
some fine, fine art work.

That sounds fine,
fine to me.

Purchase away.

I think you know helen
from art one gallery.

Oh, of course.

And, uh...

Where is our talented
young artist?

Oh, he's right
over there. Kel!

Kel, come over here and
meet your biggest fan.

Hey!
What's up?

Carl kimbell, it is
a distinct pleasure
to meet you, sir.

I have been a fan
of your fine paintings
for over years.

Huh--what?
Carl kimbell?

No, no, my name's
kel kimball.

Kimball? You're not
the artist carl kimbell
of sweden?

No. I'm the teenager
kel kimball of chicago.

Well, there's
a huge mistake.

No, no, no, no!
No mistake!

Kel is from sweden.
Yeah, yeah.

We both are.

[With accent]
isn't that right,
kel? Yeah, yeah.

We are from sweden,
mm-hmm, yeah.

Sweden is where
we are from.

Yeah...

[Yodeling]

This is not
swede talk.

Well, you
don't like--

So, wait!

You only spent $ ,
on kel's painting

Because you thought
he was another painter
named carl kimbell?

Ha ha ha!

Hey, that's
pretty funny!

[Laughing]

Kensington:
do you mean to say
that the painting

That I purchased
in your gallery

Was not done by
the swedish artist
carl kimbell?

It wasn't?

No.

Well, slap me
with a spoon.

Well, this is
an outrage!

I want my $ ,
back immediately!

Yes, sir.
No problem.

I go.

We all go!

Kenan: y'all
can't all go,
now come on!

Oh, come on back
art people.

Chris: don't
take the food!

Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Kel is from sweden!

Kel is--oh,
come on, now.

Wait a minute!
Don't you want
to buy my stuff?

Please!

Miss helen? Helen?
Miss helen?

Don't you want to buy
some of kel's paintings
for your art gallery?

I am afraid not!

Uh--uh--?

Kenan!

You, lady!

We'll take that $ ,
you offered, remember?

You'll get nothing
and like it!

[Whimpering]

We got nothing.

But we don't like it!

[Whining]

Whoo!

Thank you!
Thank you!

[Cheering with audience]

Oh, y'all
better stop.

Ha! Thanks a lot!

What you all mad for?

Man, you made me paint
all day and all night,

Then you blew
$ , for us.
Now we got nothing.

Ah, that's not true.
We have this.

We ain't got nothing!

You always do this to me!

Every time!

Look! We still got this
wonderful painting that
you did of my daddy.

That? It's ugly!
Ain't nobody gonna buy it.

Oh, yeah?
Well, check this out.

All right, everybody!

I have a kel original
here of my daddy.

Who will give me
$ , for it?

Come on, , .
Here we go, , .

, ? , ?

All right,
maybe , ?

$ , ? That'll work
for y'all? , ?

Maybe that's too steep
for your pockets?
All right, maybe , ?

, And some big,
fat biscuits? Maybe?
, ? , ?

, ?

Man, this
is humiliating.

Hush!

Oh, all right.
I got one.

$ , , Right here.
$ , For a kel--

Come on, y'all--oh!

I'll give you
bucks for it.

Bucks?
Bucks?

Sold!
Sold!

Come on down.

Kenan: whoo!

Kel: man,
you go ahead!

All right.

I guess you might
want to hang that

In your living room
or something like that.

Up in your bedroom
or in a bathroom.

You know...

What you doing
there, fella?

Here, you can
keep this part.

You're giving
it back?

I just wanted
the frame.
See ya!

Oh, my ego!

Man...
Forget this!

Art bites, man!

Yeah!

Aarh! Aarh!

Man...but
you know what?

I got something
for us to do

That'll make us forget
the misfortunes
of this whole episode.

What?

Well, you'll see
soon enough.
Now, looky here.

I'm gonna need
you to grab
hard-boiled eggs,

A sling-sh*t, and
a chainsaw, and
meet me on the roof.

Come on, tiddlywink!

Boy, I got too much
energy! Woop!

Kenan!

Tiddlywink?

Tiddlywink and kenan?
That's tomorrow.

Why are we going on the roof
with some hard-boiled eggs
and a chainsaw?

Kenan! Eggs make me burp.
See, I'm thinking about it.

[Belches]

Oh, kenan! Kenan!
Come on, come back!

[Groaning]

Here it goes!

Why?!