02x11 - Turkey Day

[bunniefuu]

Oh, here it goes.

♪ Everybody out there
go run and tell ♪

♪ Your homeboys
and homegirls ♪

♪ It's time for
kenan and kel ♪

♪ They'll keep you laughing
in the afternoon ♪

♪ So don't touch that dial,
don't leave the room ♪

♪ Because they're always
into somethin' fun ♪

♪ And you don't
want to miss it ♪

♪ It's double k
like do the good way ♪

♪ Kenan and kel, or should
I say kel and kenan? ♪

♪ Then you gotta
watch kenan ♪

♪ 'Cause kenan be scheming
with a plan or a plot ♪

♪ To make it to the top

♪ But they're kinda
in the middle ♪

♪ Because they're always
gettin' caught ♪

♪ This ain't the hardy boys
or nancy drew mystery ♪

♪ It's just kenan and kel
in your vicinity ♪

♪ Like siegfried and roy
or abbott and costello ♪

♪ Magic and kareem
or penn and teller ♪

♪ Somebody's in trouble?
Oh, here it go ♪

♪ On nick nick nick nick
nick nick nick nick ♪♪

Thank you very much!

[Mumbling]

Thank you!
All right.

Welcome to
the special

Thanksgiving episode

Of kenan & kel.

I'm kenan.

Y'all can clap
if you want.

Oh, thank you!

All...right.

An ahm gel!

[Mumbling]

Thank you.
Thank you.

Hmm?
Kel?

Why are you eating
a peanut butter
sandwich?

I'm hungry.

I don't care
if you're hungry
or not.

We're supposed to be
introducing
the show.

[Mumbles]

Would you just get
rid of the sandwich?

Oh!

Now look what
you did!

You got the camera
all peanut buttery!

Kel, come here.
Come here.

Here. Here!
Thank you.

Can we go to
another camera,
please?

Oh. Thank you.

[Lisping]
I'm thorry.

I din't mean
to get the camera
all thicky.

Look, peanut butter
boy,

No one can understand
a word you're sayin'.

Dey don?

No, dey don't!

Besides,
you might as
well just save
your appetite,

'Cause you gonna
need it for
tonight's show.

Ha hah!

Time for comedy!
I'll see ya
when I see ya.

Denan? I don think

We shoul do that--

[Mumbling]

Aw, dere di does!

[Humming]

Roger, you want me
to baste the turkey?

[Shouts]
no!

Don't touch my turkey!

I'm in charge of
cooking the
thanksgiving turkey,

And only I may
baste it!

O.k. Well, don't
get your underpants
in a bunch!

[Sniff]

Hello, mr. Turkey-lurky!

Oh, yes!
Nice little birdie.

♪ Happy thanksgiving!

Whoo!

Hey, pop.

That's a nice,
pretty dress
you got there,
mr. Rockmore.

Will you come
with me to
the school dance?

Kel, if you don't
keep your mouth
closed,

I'm gonna dance
all over your behind!

Oh! The turkey
smells good!

Both of you
just keep away from
my turkey bird!

I been cooking this turkey
for over hours,

And I want it to be
absolutely perfect
for thanksgiving dinner.

[Sniffs] oh!

Mmm!

Mmm!

All right.
Don't breathe on it.

Roger, we're gonna
be late.

Where y'all going?

To visit aunt bertha
in the hospital.

Oh, did she
puff up again?

Mm-hmm.
She's all puffy!

Come on, sweetheart.

Kenan, I started
setting the dinner table.
You finish up for me, o.k.?

Yes, ma'am.

Whoa! Who all's
coming again?

I'm invited, right?

What about yourfamily?

Well, I'm gonna
eat with my family

After I eat with
your family.

Kenan, there'll be
of us.

Our family, kel,
grandma molly,
uncle raymond,
and aunt gertie.

Aw, aunt gertie?!

Kenan. Kenan.

What's wrong with
aunt gertie?

The woman has
a full-grown
mustache.

Kenan!

How am I supposed to
eat my thanksgiving
turkey

When I'm staring
at a woman who looks
like she got

A big old hairy
caterpillar crawling
all under her nose?

Hey, kenan,
when she comes,
let's shave her!

You know what
I'm saying?

No, no, no.
Neither of you will
shave aunt gertie.

And listen,
no comments about
her mustache.

Oh, what am I
gonna say?

Happy thanksgiving,
aunt gertie!

Oh, nice bush
on your lip, though.

Just don't mess up
the house, o.k.?

Hey, kel, go get
that bucket of mud!

Kenan.

I'm just joking.
Just joking.

Mom: all right.
Bye-bye.

Y'all have fun
at the hospital.

Give your puffy
aunt bertha my best!

Man, I can't wait
to meet your hairy aunt.

Man, trust me.
It is not a pretty
picture.

O.k. Cool.come on, man.
Help me set the table.

You get
the water glasses.

All right.

I'll meet ya
out there!

[Sniff sniff]

[Sniff]

Kel, come on!

Oh, h-here you go.

All right. Cool.
Thanks.

O.k. We need
bread plates.
I'll get 'em.

Uh-uh!
I'll get 'em!

All right.
You get the
bread plates.

Kel, we haven't got
all day!

Kel, man, what--

Where are
the bread plates?

Pfft!

Aw, forget it.
I'll get 'em.

Oh, um...grab some
soup spoons, would ya?

Mm-hmm.

I want some.

Oh, turkey!

Hey, kenan,
whatcha doin'?

What does it
look like I'm doing?
I'm setting the table.

Yeah, setting it
wrong.

And just what
am I doing wrong,
pray tell?

The water glasses
go over the knives,
not the forks. Duh!

Yeah, well, I say
the water glasses
can go on the--

[Slurping and chewing]

Do you hear
something?

Yeah. What is that?

I'm not sure.

I think I've heard
that sound before,
though.

It was on this
documentary about
wild animals eating--

Noooo!

What?!

Aah!

Oh, no!

I'm sorry!

Why?!

I'm possessed by
the turkey devil!

Kel!

Kenan!

Don't you yell at kel!

Do y'all realize
what pop's gonna
do to us

When he sees this?

Oh! [Moans]

We gotta do something.
We gotta fix it.

How are we gonna
fix that turkey?

It's all in
kel's stomach.

Hey, what
you doing?

You give me
that turkey back!

That's what you
gonna do!

Give me my dad's
turkey! Give me!
The turkey!

Give me! The turkey!

You're squeezing
my pancreas!

Oh, man!

Kel, you have really
done it this time.

You have really
done it!

[Doorbell rings]

Ooh! That's your daddy!

Tell my mama I loved her!

Stop that!

That can't be
my parents already.

It's my relatives.

Kyra, go let them in,
but don't let them
in the kitchen!

O.k.

O.k. All right.

Let's just calm down
and think this rationally.

O.k.

I got it! O.k.

We got turkey bones,
right?

But no turkey meat.

So...

All we gotta do
is put some
turkey meat

Back on dem bones,
right?

Yeah, uh-huh.

To the fridge!

Turkey meat.
Turkey meat...

Oh, wait. Here's
some packages of
sliced turkey meat.

O.k.! Cool.

We'll see if I can
just wrap this
around here like--

Put it on--

Get it on--
just stay like that--

Aw!
Aw!

It looks diseased!

I think it's because
the turkey meat
is all slicey.

That's what it is.

We gotta make it
look like fresh,
unsliced meat.

Pfft. Yeah.

The food processor!

O.k. Yeah.

Whoo! O.k.

Now we just throw
this food in there

And ground it all up
so we can mold it
back onto the turkey.

Kyra, you have
grown a foot

Since the last time
I saw you.

No, she hasn't.

She had feet
the last time
you saw her,

And she's got
feet now.

I mean she's grown
a foot taller.

What? Who cares?

Where's the turkey?

I didn't come here to yap.

I came here
to eat some turkey!

Quiet, raymond!

So, um...

Where's
aunt gertie?

Oh, we ran over
a nail coming in
your driveway.

She's out changing
the flat tire.

By herself?

Well, now,
you know the woman.

She's more man
than I am!

O.k. Now we'll just
mold this meat
onto the bones.

Aw!aw!

It's not lookin'
very good.

I'm aware--

Oh, man!

My daddy's gonna k*ll us!

Bye!

Where are you going?

Australia.

Why?

Because your daddy's
not in australia.

Kel, you can't
hide forever, man.

I got it!

We'll just call up
and have a fresh
turkey delivered!

But it's thanksgiving.
Isn't every place
closed?

We have to try!

Give me
the phone book.

Oh, look!

I don't see
turkeys.

No, no, no, no.
Look.

It says brassieres.
Ha ha ha ha!

Man!

Hey, uncle raymond,

I got all "as"
in school last semester.

Whoop-de-doo!

I want some turkey!

Mom and dad should be
home real soon.

What am I supposed to
do until then?

Well...i take karate.

Do you want me
to show you some
karate moves?

Yeah!

Why don't you
karate chop me
a turkey sandwich?

[Snoring]

Oh, every place
is closed!

Wait, wait, wait.
You haven't tried
this place.

And it's real close.
Try this number.

Hello. Hi.
Are you guys open
today?

You are?
And you have turkeys?

And it says
they deliver.

A-and you deliver,
too, right? Ha ha!

I would like to have
one large tur--

No, make that two large
turkeys delivered
to my house.

Why two?

In case something bad
happens to one of 'em.

What bad could
happen?

You!!

This is a back kick.

Hi-yah!

This is a left jab.

Hi-yah!

That's very nice.

If I weren't so hungry,
I'd clap.

Whoo!

Hey, uncle raymond!

How are you?

Hungry.

All right. Well,
not to worry, uncle raymond.

We should have
plenty of turkey
real soon. Real soon.

Mm-hmm. Real soon.isn't that right,
kel?

Oh, by the way,
this is kel.

Is he a turkey?

No.

Then who cares?

Hey, grandmama!

[Zzz]

All right. Well, uh...

Where's aunt gertie?

Fixing a flat tire.
Is the turkey ready?

[Doorbell rings]

Ooh! That must be
aunt gertie now!

I'll get it.

Kenan!

Somebody get
the hedge clippers!

Hey, aunt gertie.

Give me a big ol' kiss!

H-hey! I'd rather not
give you a--

[Doorbell rings]

Hey, kenan,
I bet that's--

I know, I know.
Um, aunt gertie,
come on in and sit down.

Me and kel are gonna
be right back
in a second.

Go ahead, make
yourselves comfortable.

I'll be very
comfortable

When I get some
turkey in my gut!

Come in! Come in.

Come in.

Oh, howdy!

My name's jarvis,
jarvis load.

Somebody here order
turkeys?

Yeah, yeah.
We did, man.

Where are
the turkeys?

Right here.
Hang on.
I'll get 'em.

Man, we really
lucked out this time.

I'll just put
the turkey
in the same pan,

And my father'll never
know the difference.

[Gobbling]

I think your dad
is gonna notice
the difference.

Yes, sir?
Jarvis!

Partner,
these turkeys
are alive!

Yep! You sure do
know your turkeys,
don't you?

I don't want
live turkeys.

I wanted 'em cooked,
you know, golden brown
and ready to eat.

You better get
to it, then!

I'll send ya
a bill.

Bye-bye.
Happy thanksgiving.

No, it isn't!

What are we gonna
do now?

I think we should
name this one tootie
and this one rayjeen.

Uncle raymond: tell me,

Do I get to
eat some turkey
or don't i, kenan?!

Uncle raymond's coming.
Quick! Hide the turkeys.

Come on, little critters!

Come on, turkey!

Come on, turkey!

Come on, come on.

[Gobbling]

I don't mean to
be rude,

But if I don't get
some turkey soon,
I'm leaving this dump.

Oh, uncle raymond,
don't worry.

We gonna have turkey
real soon.

[Gobbling]

I'm so hungry,
I'm starting to
hear turkey.

Ha! Oh, funny
uncle raymond!

Gobble-gobble!

Kyra!

What?

Take your uncle
raymond back in
the living room

And entertain him
with some more
karate moves, baby.

Come on,
uncle raymond.

Aw, this bites!

What'll we do now?

Every store with
turkeys is gonna
be closed, 'cause--

Ah! Rigby's! Come on!

Ah...there.

Mother will certainly
enjoy these raw eggs.

Wait, wait,
wait a minute!

Oh!

Ooh! Chris!

Sorry.

Oh! What are you
guys doing?

You knocked me
all down!

Oh, I'm all
eggy!

Chris, we need
a turkey!

Well, hurry up!

I'm taking mother
to the thanksgiving
dinner at le meets.

Oh, that's very nice.

Bye!
Later.

Wait a minute!
You have to help me
clean this up!

Yo!
Oh!

Man, we gotta cook
this bird fast!

Hand me the cookbook!

"Rump roast.
Um, soup...squash--"

Gimme the cookbook!
We don't have a lot
of time, schmoe!

Turkeys! All right,
here we go.

Oh, man, it says
it takes hours
to cook in the oven!

We don't have
hours!

[Baby voice]
oh, we don't?

Oh, I know how
we can cook
this bird fast!

Whatcha gonna do?

I'm gonna shove
this bird in
the microwave

And set it on high.

Oh! I didn't mean it.
O.k., Wait...

It won't fit!

Hand me a lubricant!

Hurry up!

O-o.k. It's almost in.

Here, try this!

Uh-oh. Uh, kenan,
it says even in
the microwave,

It takes hours.

I got your hours!
I know exactly
what I'll do.

O.k.!

There!
That oughta speed things up.

Yeah!

Ready?

Hi-yah!

Ta-da!

[expl*si*n]

Any more ideas?

What the--

Just hush, kyra.

Do me a favor
and clean up this mess.

We'll be right back.

Where we going?

Where did chris say
he was taking his
mama to dinner?

Le meets.

Yeah, that's it.
Le meets.

Come on.

[Sobs]

What about this mess--

Clean up the mess,
and we'll be back.

Don't let nobody
in the kitchen.

Yes,
may I help you...

Gentlemen?

Yeah! We need a turkey.

Dead and cooked.

Ha ha. Today is
thanksgiving.

Doy!

If you want a turkey,
it must be ordered
full days in advance.

They take hours
to cook.

So I've heard.

Hey, there's chris.
Come on.

Maitre d': sirs! Sirs!

No! Sirs!

Hey, chris!

Hey,
what's happening?

Oh, my--what are
you guys doing
here?

Why are your clothes
all betattered?

Betattered?betattered?

Oh, man.

Forget it.
What do you want?

Where's your mother?

She's in the bathroom
putting in
her meat teeth.

Here's your turkey,
sir.

Wonderful.
Ah.

Mmm!

Oh!

What
a beautiful bird!

Oh, what's this, gravy?

Oh, oh, look what
happened!

Oh! Oh!

You got gravy
all over my
trousers!

Oh, sorry, chris!
My fault. Let me help.

Stop wiping
my pants!

Oh,
goodness!

Oh! Oh!

Well, bye, chris!

Happy thanksgiving!

No, no, no!

Don't tell nobody!

We got it.
Ha ha ha ha!

And my parents
aren't home.

We're cool!

Oh, I need to sit down.

I need some
orange soda.

[Moans] oh...oh!

Who loves
orange soda?

Aw, here he goes.

Kel loves orange soda.

[Baby voice]
is it true?

Mm-hmm!

I do, I do, I do, I do,

I d--

Ooh ooh.

Ooh ooh what?

My bottle cap
flew into
the turkey's hole!

What?!

D-don't worry!
I'll get it!

I--i can feel it!

I almost got it!
Wait a minute!

T-there it is. Wait--
oh, it's hot! Oh!

Then take your hand
out.

I can't! It's stuck!

Man, this cannot be
happening to me!

Hurry up! It's hot!
It's hot!

Get it off me!

Aah!

Oh, man,
the corn!

No! Wait!

Gimme your hand!

Kel!

Whoo hoo!

What the--

Is that a turkey
on that boy's hand?

Oh, it's hot!
Get it off me!

Oh, it's hot! Oh!

Stop eating
the turkey!

Sorry we're late.

Turkeys?

What are you guys
doing with my bird?

[Thud]
[pop]

Well, kel...

Huh?

W-which way
you gonna run?

That way.

Cool.

I'm gonna run
this way.

Whoo!

Oh, you're sweet!

Sweet!

Well, that was
an interesting
thanksgiving.

Well, I had fun.

Fun?

We ruined turkeys,
ovens,

Chris's dinner,
our dinner,

A whole bunch of
dish ware,

And I'm grounded
till next thanksgiving.

Your parents
will calm down by
the next episode.

You better hope
they do.

Aw, they will.
The writers told me.

Whoo! But I gotta
admit, bro,

You gave me
a good idea

When you had your hand
stuck in that turkey.

I did? Kenan, no!

No, check it out.

Please, kenan.
Help me!

Ta-da!

Turkey boxing
gloves!

See, when you're
done sparring,
you can eat 'em.

See? Watch.
Jab, jab, huah!

Come on, kel.

Let's go find
somebody for you
to turkey box.

Kel's gonna be
the next muhammad ali!

K-k-kenan?
Physical confrontation
makes me nauseous. See?

Physical--
physical--

Kenan!

I'm a lovah,
not a fightah!

Kenan! Kenan!

Aw, here it goes!