02x09 - Friends, Romans, Beavers!/Big Round Sticky Fish Thingy

[bunniefuu]

[ Lively dance music playing]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers

♪ Beavers.

Daggett: hey, bus driver dude

Why don't you go faster?

Ever been in an accident?

We're going to a hockey game.

Ever been to a game?

Why don't you go faster?

I took a train once.

What if I push that button?

Choo, choo, choo!

Stay behind the yellow safety line, please.

This line?

This itty-bitty, little teeny line?

[ Grumbling]: boy...hello, mr. Line.

[ Taunting]: I'm crossing you.

Oh, I'm in trouble now.

[ Yells]: dag!

Leave the driver alone!

I'm notmissing this hockey game

At the coliseum

So don't... Get us... Kicked off the bus!

[ Blathering...]

Norbert: "caution ahead."

"Hole in the fabric of time and space."

"Use alternate route."

Ah, excuse me--

[ Daggett continues...]

Here's our turn.

Hey, driver!

You're supposed to... Turn... Here.

[ Grumbling...][ Blathering...]

Okay, okay!

[ Angrily]: that does it!

Out you two go!

But I didn't do anything.

It was all... Because of... Him.

[ Growling angrily]

Hey, look!

Spootster-head threw us out

In front of the coliseum.

Huh?

Daggett: "gladiators only"?

Sounds fancy.

Ooh, this must be the good seats.

Norbert: just don't pick any more fights once we get inside.

Why not? It's fun.

Not for me!

Remember we both got kicked off the bus.

What was i--

And, if you don't cut it out--

Yeah?

We're both going to catch

Hurtiness.

[ Gates creaking]

[ Gladiators yelling, screaming, complaining]

"Gladiators wait here."

Whoa, look at this cool stuff!

[ Swords, shields clanking]

Ow, that hurt!

Sorry.

Yay!

[ Yawns]

Can we not find

Some truly dangerous creatures

For caesar's men to fight-ius?

[ Creaks]

[ Trumpeting fanfare]

[ Thud]

[ Bodies thud onto ground]

Whoo, oh boy, oh boy!

[ Men grunt, groan]

Dag, what did I tell you about starting fights?

I wasn't starting a fight.

Yes, you were.

No, I wasn't.

I am spootimus maximus

Rome's greatest gladiatorus!

Yeah, yeah, move it.

You're blocking our view of the hockey game.

Caesar has commanded me to slay you.

[ Groans]

[ Maximus bawling]

[ Whimpering...]

[ Ratcheting tail]

[ Whimpering...]

[ Trumpeting fanfare]

Huh?

Uh-oh!

[ Thud, howling...]

Magnificent-ius.

[ Laughs] oh, bravo!

Never hath caesar seen such combat skills-ius.

Oh-ho!!!

Send-ius in the man-eating lions!

[ Roaring]

No more fights!

I didn't start a fight!

Yes, you did.

I won't start one

With those man-eating lions.

What man-eating... Lions?

[ Roaring...]

[ Screaming...]

[ Panting...]

[ Slurping]

[ Laughing hilariously]

Lovely!

[ Burping...]

Caesar: oh, my.

Only one creature fierce enough for these monsters.

Send-ius in the dreaded cyclops.

This is the weirdest hockey game ever.

Dag! Look around.

Yeah?

Norbert: do you see the ancient romans

In their coliseum

Cool. That hasn't been around since...

A long ancient roman time ago?

Yeah, so?

Wake up and smell the vomitorium!

Ooh.

There is no hockey game!

Hey, what's a vomitorium?

[ Loud roaring...]

[ Roars]

[ Babbling]

[ Roars]

[ Jabbering hysterically]

[ Growls]

Daggett: what's with him?

He's weird.

Um, excusez-moi, mr. Monster, my man.

Cut to the chase--

You're a cyclops, right?

[ Growls]

Well, I'm just curious

And correct me if I'm wrong

But aren't cyclops only supposed to have oneeye?

[ Growls remorsefully]

[ Beavers giggle]

What's with that walk?

Norbert: dag.

Daggett: ooh, what?

He won't eat us.

He's too goofy, silly-walking cyclops thingy.

Two eyes, ha!

[ Weeping]

Daggett: it's the walk.

Norbert: look what you've done.

You hurt his feelings.

Daggett: stupid walk.

Norbert: hey, come on!

Mr. Monster, my man, it's not that bad.

It's his walk.

You don't know what it's like

Growing up with two eyes.

Well, actually I do.

All the other cyclops made fun of me.

So I had to be meaner and tougher than any of them;

But deep down, I ache.

[ Sobbing]: I ache.

Maybe it's the walk.

[ Grunts]

All I want is for people to like me.

Maybe you should quit all this growling

"I'm a big scary cyclops guy" stuff.

Think about making a positive career change.

Be happy with your work

Or you'll never be happy.

You think so?

Of course.

Now you go out there and show the world

That two eyes are always better than one--

Even for a cyclops.

[ Rock crunching, growls softly]

Yeah! Um...

And change that stupid walk.

What, what?

How would you feel being made fun of?

You don't look like a beaver.

You look like a pointy bird with big teeth.

[ Chortling]

[ Grumbles]

No, no, no!

Cyclops leaving?

No, indeed.

That is not the way this works.

Someone else-ius is supposed to b*at someone else-ius up

And then, and only then, they get the thumb-ius, you see.

Hey, what's with that guy?beats me.

If he wants that big thumb...

Yeah?i say we give it to him.

Yeah, yeah.

[ Duck call]

Trumpeter: oh, man.

Hey, norb?

What's that big thumb

Hanging from anyway?

Okay.go with it; it's working.

[ Pigs squealing]

Daggett: you roman pig.

I hate you!

Hmm...

[ Gargling spit]

[ Spit hits floor]

Dag!

[ Both screaming]

[ Both whistling]

That was nuts.

I tell you, norb, I'm never annoying

Or fighting with anyone ever again.

Ancient rome...

Ancient greece...

Branson, missouri

Mecca of good, clean, family entertainment.

Stay behind the yellow safety line!

I didn't do it.

Yes, you did.

Did not.

Yes, you did.

Did not.

Norbert: you two cut it out!

I'm going to call time out!

Give me the camera, daggett.

Sure.

[ Frog croaks]

[ Fly buzzing]

[ Fly burps]

[ Slurping]

[ Hums quizzically]

[ Shutter clicking]

Eee!

Look at that.

Whoa-boga!

An underwater behemoth.

I've never seen anything like it.

It's hugearonsky!

And big, too. Uh-huh.

[ Squeaking]

[ Squishing]

Wow! A big, round fish... Thingy.

Correction.

A big, round, sticky fish thingy.

Eee!

[ Chomps]

Ooh... Blech.

[ Panting]

Okay. We can get out of this.

We just need to think it through patiently.

Right. [ Yelping]

Dag, stop. Stop!

[ Daggett honking wildly]

That's convenient.

When something you're cooking gets all sticky-wicky

There's nothing like the old spatula to un-stick it.

[ Clanging]

[ Squishing]

[ Grunts]

[ Thuds]

[ Chuckling]

Ouch! Pain.

Ow. Hurt.

You're moving too much.

[ Squeals]

Hey, hey, hey, hey...

No, dag, let me get it.

[ Daggett yelping]

Good evening, and welcome

To the big, round valuable fish thingys

That are worth a lot show.

We'll look at the most valuable big, round, fish thingy

That's worth a lot there is.

A rare, giant sticky sturgeon, egg-- it's worth a whole lot.

The sturgeon's giant egg is the most expensive caviar

In the world.

Prized by rich people who eat strange things

Each one is worth a bazillion dollars, and that's a lot.

Dag, did you hear that?

Yeah, but I'm not hungry.

No, no! It's worth a bazillion dollars!

Duh, but, uh, you mean, er, uh, we're rich?

[ Both grunting]

[ Crashing]

[ Chuckles]

It's all ours.

Yours and mine.

[ Whirring]

[ Thuds]

Yes, sir.

It's great that we--

That is, me...

[ Mumbles]: ...and you

Are rich!

You said it, knotty head...

[ Stammering]: I mean, brother.

Tell you what

I'll just go sell this right now

And get that bazillion dollars

More fastly for me... Uh, us.

My generous, self-sacrificing brother.

Yes?aren't you forgetting something?

Um, er, uh, mm-hmm... What?

Perhaps some dishonest greedy person

Might take it from you.

Well, then, I'd take it right back.

But they might kick you or flick your nose

Or give you a fur wedgie.

[ Yelping][ chuckling]

Then I'd kick, flick

And wedgie him right back.

But what if they gave you a bighug?!

Well, then i, I'd...

[ Shrieking in disgust]

Hmm, another convenience.

[ Squishes]

Hey...

Hey! You come back here

With that big, round, sticky valuable fish thingy

That's worth a lot.

The thirty-inth wonder of the...

Norbert: ninth!

Right, ninth wonder of the...

Thirty-ninth!

Right. The th wonder of the world:

The big, round, wooden thingy.

Th wonder of the world?

Why, any beaver could build this in two seconds.

Yes, but would it talk?

A big, round, wooden thingy that talks?

They should put that on the sign.

We wanted to, but we ran out of room.

Did you see a beaver run through here

With a big, round, sticky fish thingy?

He said he was going to delaware.

Uh, right, and where is that?

Nobody knows!ooh.

If he thinks he can hide

From me going someplace nobody knows

He's got another think coming.

[ Cackling]

Daggie-wag's on his way to nowhere

And I'm on my way to easy street.

[ Mooing]

Dag?

Thought you were pretty smart

Didn't you, norbie?no.

Thought you were going to have it all for yourself, didn't you?

Little didn't you know

That making big, goofy treadmill thingamabobs is the specialty

Of the proud people of delaware.

You're the one who ran off with it first, didn't you?

You!

[ Cackling]

Now I'm going to run off with it again.

[ Giggling]

The big, round, sticky fish thingy is mine.

Mine! Mine.

Dag!

I'm going to kick your hairy little heinie, dag.

Come back here with my big, round, sticky fish thingy.

Ow! Ooh!

[ Yelping...]

[ Birds chirping]

It's mine.

It's mine. It's mine.

It's mine.

It's mine. Mine.

Mine. Mine.

It's yours.

Okay.

Uh...

[ Tree creaking]

Eee.

Ah...

[ Crashing]

Huh?

[ Gurgling]

[ Roars]

[ Squishes]

[ Norbert gasps]

Ouchy-baba!

There was a little fish thingy

Inside the big, round, sticky fish thingy.

One of nature's great mysteries.

And we were going to sell it

For our own personal gain.

Eee, well, ooh...

[ Growling]

Well, this is inconvenient.

What are we going to do now?

We can still sell

The big, round, sticky fish thingy.

There's only one, tiny problem.what?

We'd be selling us, too!

Okay, spootenheimer, tell me your idea.

This is your fault.my fault?

You got it, big guy.

You tried to run off with it first.

And I would have made it, too.

If you kept your meat hooks off the mystery

We wouldn't have to work.

It's no mystery, it's a big egg thingy!

We'd choose to work, but we wouldn't have to.

I ought to... Something!

You know what they call that kind of money?big.

[ Animals giggling...]